Can You Keep A Secret?
by Serenity Marie Jared
Summary: Meet Edward, all-around playboy with a deep, dark secret. Enter Bella, a beauty with a  dark secret of her own. When their fates meet, will they return each other's call and save one another? All human, BxE.
1. Chapter 1

_Full Summary: Meet Edward Cullen, hottie, jerk, Mr. Popular, jackass, all-around playboy with a deep, dark secret that he wants no one to know about. Ever. Enter Bella Swan, a beauty, brainiac, bookworm, hoodie obsessed, head-hang-low, with a dreadful secret of her own. When their fates crosses paths, will they answer each other's call and save one another from a past they both fear? _

_Author's Note: I've been thinking of doing this for quite a long time, actually. I'm not really sure if this would work or not, it all depends on the feedback. So, I'm just testing this out, see if anyone likes it, and if I get one or two reviews on the first chapter, I'll continue with the story. I hope you guys will enjoy the very first chapter of Can You Keep A Secret! _

_**Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga does not belong to me, though I wish it does. Seriously, who wouldn't want sleeping next to a hot guy? All credits go to Stephenie Meyer, for making a fabulous job of bringing Edward, and Bella, to life. And she's the one who basically made it, so . . . yeah. (Dang it.)**_

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><p><span>EPOV<span>

_I shuddered as I heard the familiar banging of boots outside the door and did my best to stay quiet, not even allowing myself to breathe in deeply. The monster was outside, ready to wreck mayhem, and here I was, stranded in the house, nowhere to run and hide. The door slammed open and a chill ran down my spine, like it always does. "Oi, Eddie!" Daddy_ _yelled, and I could already smell the alcohol and tobacco in the air, as if there couldn't possibly be more putrid smells like that in the house. _

_I didn't dare move, knowing that it would probably be a bad move._

_It was._

_As Daddy_ _dragged himself into the living room, my fears all collided into one, and suddenly, I was staring into my worst possible nightmare. His long face, with deep, black eyes, stared into my soul with hatred, like he hated my very presence. He probably did, anyway. I wanted to glare back at him with defiance, yet I felt myself curl back from his angry gaze, willing for him to make a move, so that it could be over and done with. _

_He didn't, and we continued to stare at one another._

_My heart was pounding fast, my hands were getting rather twitchy. It was funny, how a seventeen-and-a-half year old could feel this way. Then I looked down and realized that I was not a seventeen-and-a-half year old, but a seven year old boy, with too-skinny arms and legs, bones protruding out in the oddest way. Then, my nightmare became even worst when Daddy looked past me._

_Oh no. Oh God, no._

_He was staring into Momma's picture. The one that was taken before her cancer had revealed itself. The one that had her smiling face and beautiful, bouncy bronze curls splaying all around her healthy face. Her green eyes shown with remarkable happiness, her straight nose pointing out, her full lips pulling up into a big and absolutely wonderful smile. _

_My heart yearned for her, my dead, cancer-ridden, pretty mother. Once again, I found myself questioning all the higher beings why she had to die, why not someone else who was probably more horrid than my mother could ever be? Why not someone like _him?

_He sauntered over to me, the tobacco and beer almost choking me in it's swirl. I wanted to hurl, but couldn't. Helpless. Yes, that was what I was. A helpless, nonessential little boy. _

_Then Daddy looked at me, his bloodshot eyes filtrating craze and rage. His fingers twitched and I flinched along with every twitch. He began to cackle. "Eddie, oh Eddie, do you know how much you look like Elizabeth?" _

Oh I do, _I thought. _

_But I didn't answer, not daring to. He laughed angrily, "It's a pity, really. How she had to die. Why not you? You're a worthless bastard, a retard. She could have had so much more in her life, we could have had a better son than you, a little piece of shit." He grabbed my tiny little arms, and shook me, hard._

_I bit my lip in an effort to bite back the hot rush of blood that tore down my arms._

_"How the hell did we make such a bloody mistake? We were perfect, your mom and I. We had everything, the whole world even, in our hands. And then she had to have _you," _He slapped me and I could feel blood trickle down the insides of my right cheek, "And everything went wrong!" he started to punch me, and I kept real quiet, blocking out the pain, imagining that my mother was here with me in spirit._

_Except, she wasn't._

_"You," he hit me once again, this time using a thick encyclopedia and I could feel the bruises making themselves known. It was easy, I've spent everyday of one whole year to practice ignoring the pain. Daddy would always come back from work, stare at Momma's pictures, and then take out his anger and frustration at me. I couldn't help but feel some contorted compassion for my father. _

_He never used to be like this. We used to be the perfect family, one very close one in fact. When Momma found out she had cancer, after all those months of vomiting blood and hair lost, Daddy went hysterical. He freaked out, and took it out on me, a five year old. I had no idea that it was wrong to be abused by my father, and I began to spend more time with my mother's piano, playing her compositions, discovering my own passion in the process._

_My thoughts soon drifted off to my mother, the pain of the dreadful punches and kicks eventually losing the battle against Momma's face in my mind._

_It was worth it, if the pain was all I had to get through just to see Momma's face again, I'd do it. She was important. No one could compare. I could almost hear her voice now . . ._

_"Bastard. Retard. Dumb-ass." With every word, his anger rose until it came to the extent that it was no longer avoidable. I could feel the bookends cutting deep into my skin at various places. Finally, he threw the encyclopedia away and reached for an empty beer bottle. _

_"You little fucktard." he snapped, and smashed the beer bottle against my skull._

_I could vividly hear the loud crack of glass shattering against my skull. Blood trickled down the sides of my head, dripping off my chin. I yelped in agony, finally letting out the pain I was trying uselessly to hold back. He grew encouraged by my yelp and with a hard thrust, he stabbed me, laughing as the broken bit of glass stuck in my skin, hanging off. _

_I, on the other hand, was already screaming in agony and futilely shoved my father's arms off me. He was never this serious. Just kicks and punches, but never to this range. He kept on stabbing, and I could hear the neighbors moving around in their houses restlessly, trying to figure out the muffled noises that came from the Masen's house. _

_I hated the fact that they never asked._

_The blood was now pouring out of me like a tidal wave. I was broken. No amount of stitches could stop the blood. I knew for one that I was drained, there couldn't possibly be anymore blood left in me. _

_Daddy finally stop. He was breathing real hard, as though he just came back from a long run. Sweat poured down him in a streams, and we stared at each other, him appraising my broken state, me staring into his clean, healthy, and absolutely scary physique. _

_Then he picked me up, and I whimpered in agony. He chuckled, the laugh vibrating throughout his body, my blood sticking onto his clothes, staining it. He opened up the back door, and suddenly, he flung me out. "Get lost, little bastard. Let's see you run like the coward you are." I landed in a pile of broken heap, my arms bracing itself on the cool grass of our garden, which spread out to an endless forest. _

_I'd forgotten, really, that Illinois had some patches of nature like this._

_ I couldn't walk, my legs felt like lead. But my arms, yes my arms, they weren't as bruised as my legs was. I could move, maybe, but it was a question of whether or not I _would. _Daddy laughed crazily, his head thrown back, and I was repulsed by the sight. _

_How could a father be so _reckless?

_In that moment, I made my decision to escape from the hell I was forced upon. He was giving me the chance, the rare opportunity, an open window, and I was taking it. I would never look back, ever. I touched my pocket, where my wallet filled with just five bucks and a picture of my Momma and I took up residency. That was all I needed. _

_Painfully, I crawled, yes, literally _crawled, _away from purgatory. _

_My plan was to keep heading north, hoping to find someone who might help me, a bleeding, dying boy. I didn't know, but something in my gut made me keep going. Something had me going forward, like it knew I would find help of some sort of help there. I couldn't trust it, but I had to follow it; there was no choice. _

_The forest stretched out endlessly, cascading me in its green ferns and deep brown soil. Nightlife came alive around me, the owl hoots were serenading me to a slumber which I knew I'd never come out of. I was afraid to even blink. The swishing of a nearby creek reminded me of how thirsty I was. The ferns and trees thinned, and I could see the distant light of a house._

_By this time I was already slipping away, my breathing was coming real slow. _

_Yet I persevered, continuing my slow crawl towards the small, homey house. I was reaching the backyard, and a dog tied to a leash barked at me frantically, probably thinking of me as a thief. How wrong it was, how wrong it was. _

_"Chill out, boy. I'm not bad." I croaked softly, reaching the backyard. Tentatively, I raised my arm in a form of greeting, and he bumped his nose against my palm, licking the dried blood there. My arms were sore from all those dragging, it flopped uselessly to my sides. After that, I could no longer feel them. I was too numb._

_Inside the house, a man and a woman were making their way towards the backdoor. "Carlisle . . . don't. It might be a murderer," a soft, motherly voice warned someone. My vision was fading, and my instincts screamed at me to ask for help. I opened my mouth, but my throat was too dry to even utter a single moan or whimper. _

_"Esme, I've got this." the man named Carlisle whispered back in an assuring, deep and warm voice. I could hear the tightening of his hands on an object. _

_Abruptly, the backdoor opened, and they squinted into the black oblivion, trying to see anything that seemed out of proportion. The dog, which seemed to dislike me at first, began to bark madly, bounding around its leash, trying to tell its owners that I was here, needing absolute help. _

_"Oh! Carlisle!" The woman named Esme stared at me, stricken. "What . . ." The man breathed, speechless. The hyperactive dog began to desperately lick my mangled face, trying to keep me awake, but it was no longer enough to keep me aware. _

_Finally, I let the one last bit of me whisper out hoarsely, "Help . . . please." _

_Then I let myself disappear into the black, hovering over the horizon._

I gasped, jolting out from my nightmare. My eyes took awhile to focus, and when they did, I was staring up into an unfamiliar ceiling. My mind tried to comprehend why the ceiling was so unfamiliar. I was suddenly aware of a pounding headache; immediately, I knew that I was having a hungover. I shifted slightly, feeling someone's arms wound tight around me.

God, it was too compressing.

I rolled my head towards the choking smell of perfume, and groaned inwardly. It was Amber that I'd unintentionally slept with last night.

As gently as any shoving could be, I slid from under her arms. She didn't stir. I groped in the dark for my clothes, patting edges and other corners. It should have been difficult, but having years of experience, I could practically see in the dark.

Sort of.

Anyway, it mostly comes from experience. That's the point. When I was fully clothed, I turned towards Amber's desk, where she kept post-its and marker pens and useless books. I glanced back, and Amber was still wrapped in her duvet, fast asleep. I sighed inwardly and began to write.

_Amber, _

_Last night was a mistake. We were drunk, I had no idea what I was doing. I was lonely, and you were there. So, don't blame me for being too horny. Bye, Amber. It was nice knowing you. _

_E_

I looked back on it, deciding to scratch out the 'Bye Amber' part. So I crushed that post-it and created a new one, this time without that particular part. I stuffed the crushed bit of paper in my pocket and proceeded over to her open window. Draping my leg across the window pane, I reached out with one arm to grabbed the rather stable branch that hung right over me.

I moved my other leg over the ledge, letting myself be suspended in mid-air for a moment, my only support was the branch, then I began to swing myself across like I was playing on a monkey-bar. When I reached the bark of the tree, I wrapped my legs around it real tight before starting a slow descend towards the ground, gravity acting on me.

I reached the ground, dusted my hands, and started walking. Amber's house wasn't that far away from home, that means I'll be probably walking for about fifteen to twenty minutes, tops. The night was silent, it embraced me. Yet I could hear the crickets chirping noisily.

I took a deep breath, trying to capture the nighttime scent.

As I took that breath, my mind drifted off to my nightmare.

My _recurring _nightmare.

Even as a near adult, no one would be able to just shake off something like that. Those early years of mine left me scarred, no denying it. I could still remember Carlisle and Esme, sending me straight to the hospital where Carlisle worked as a nurse back then. I got diagnose with several injuries. All of them severe. Of course, since Carlisle and Esme were just strangers, they called up the police, and went on a wild search for my parents.

That was when Esme found my wallet. She took one look at my mother, then back at my battered state, and realized that I no longer had parents. It must be some sort of mother instinct, but she convinced Carlisle to stop the investigation, unwillingly sharing her theory.

Throughout the mess, I laid on the hospital bed, unable to speak or to even make a noise.

When I recovered, months later, they arranged to adopt me, finding out that my dad got convicted for drug possession and use. I refused to confirm their suspicion, still foolishly protecting him, even though he had nearly killed me. The phrase, _family is still family _always stuck with me in that time.

In actuality, I was hoping he'd apologize and take me back.

It turned out that he didn't, and got sent to a mental hospital.

By this time, my instincts were yanking me away from the flashbacks, realizing I had stopped walking. I shook my head several times, trying to find anything that might distract me. I tried thinking about a party the next day, one that I was probably attending. I would be in my semi-formal attire, since it was after the spring dance, which I was supposed to be attending with Amber.

Damn, I should have kept my hormones in check till after that.

Oh well, never mind. I could hook up with another girl after just a phone call and a few, "I've been secretly holding back this feeling, 'cause I'm so afraid of what my ex-girlfriend might have thought." Trust me, that trick works all the time.

But for now, I had a head exploding headache to deal with.

My house greeted me as I rounded off the corner. I smiled a little, because that meant I was lucky this time. When the lights were off, everyone was asleep, so that would save my argument and lectures for the next day, when my hangover would be less painful.

Opening the door, stepping inside quietly, it felt routine, familiar. Almost as easy as sneaking out. Deja vu washed over me, and I let it flow through me. I was just about to reach the stairs, when the lights turned on, and I blinked rapidly at the sudden change.

"You're late." A deep, unforgiving voice stated. Naturally, I turned to look at the direction of the voice, and grimaced inside when I saw my whole family waiting for me in the living room. They wore disapproval on their faces, and I felt my stomach lurch downwards. "Yeah, I guess I am." You know, I should be in the acting industry, because I felt like I was winning an Oscar just by managing to keep my voice calm and steady.

"Edward, honestly, how long are you going to keep this up?" It was Esme, her voice layered with tiredness and sadness. I could choose to either ignore her, head upstairs, and crash. Or I could just tell her that I didn't intend to keep it up at all. I chose none, so I simply shrugged. She gave out a breath of impatience, and Alice, one of my adopted siblings, growled, "Who is it this time, Edward?"

That's when she saw the crumpled piece of paper in my pocket, jutting out like a neon sign.

Oh crap.

"You don't need to know. You'd just be sick." I'd just finished saying this when Alice lunged at me, her hand shoving itself inside my pocket and ripping out that little paper. Her eyes scanned through the paper, and she froze.

"Oh, God." she cried, eyes brimming with unshed tears. _"Amber? _You had to sleep with _Amber?" _Her dark brown eyes met my green ones, and I immediately regretted hooking up with her best friend. Again.

"DAMMIT, EDWARD!" she yelled and shoved against me. My headache escalated to a higher extent, my eyes started darting around the room, trying very hard not to focus on Alice's agonized face. "OF ALL PEOPLE, WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE AMBER? SHE WAS A SWEET GIRL, EDWARD! SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO USE ME TO GET TO YOU! HOW COULD YOU, EDWARD?" her yelling cut deep in me.

If only she knew . . . if only she knew of what past I'd gone through. Then she'll understand exactly how it was to be in _real _agony. Right now, I didn't care for her, or any of them. They knew nothing, _nothing. _I would never tell them, because it would not resolve anything. Besides, I was going to be eighteen soon, I'll be out of this house by then.

And the sickest thing was, I couldn't _wait _for it.

Alice's tears were streaming down her upset face. I reached out to wipe the tears away, but she pulled back. "No, Edward. I won't forgive you anymore. I've given you chances over and over again, and all you do is throw them away like rubbish. Guess what, Edward? I'm tired. I'm sick _and _I'm tired. So no more, Edward. You're no longer my brother. You never was in the first place." She said the last part softly, before bursting out in sobs once more. "You are such a little _bastard," _She spat that word and I froze.

_Bastard._

Memories of the last night I saw my father flooded my drunk mind, and I could almost feel the pain of the stabs once again. I found it difficult to breathe, like my ribs were broken, and I clutched my stomach before ducking my head down.

Alice ran upstairs to her room, where she had her sanctuary, slamming the door. Jasper, Alice's boyfriend and my other 'brother', glared at me hatefully before chasing after Alice. She had apparently locked the door after slamming it, so Jasper had to bang hard against it, yelling out that it wasn't Edward-the-Bastard, but Jasper-her-lover.

After a few moments of silence, I heard the door clicked open briefly before locking again.

I looked up to stare at the rest of my family.

Huge mistake there, buddy.

Emmett, my other 'brother' for all intents and purposes, Rosalie, his girlfriend and my 'sister', followed Jasper and Alice's example, yelling out that they hate me and stuff. I took it like a man, not allowing myself to cry in front of them.

Finally, it was just Carlisle, Esme and me. I couldn't bring myself to look at them, too humiliated to do so. And I guess that served me right.

Carlisle took a deep breath and all was eerie.

"Edward, take a seat. We have to discuss something." he looked straight at me, and I tried my very best trying not to curl back from the gaze, just like I did all those years ago with my real father. "What, am I grounded again?" I asked, seating down and trying to make a joke.

"No. It's something more than that. It's something more _important _than that."

There, in his voice, I recognize that emotion.

It was ice.

I couldn't fight back the shudder that rippled through me then.

"Wh-what is it?" I stuttered, heart pounding.

"Look, we know that you've never really seen us as parents, and that you're unhappy here. Just now, when Alice was talking to you, I could read it in you that you couldn't wait to get out of this hellhole. Edward, it's come to our attention that you're no longer . . . um, tameable? Is that the right word to put it? No, it isn't. It's got to be something more." he took a deep breath.

What was he talking about?

"So . . . we've arranged with our lawyer and we've decided that we will no longer . . . take care of you. In short, we're disowning you."

Finality.

Oh, Jesus.

I pinched myself, trying to wake up from this nightmare, but the thing was, I wasn't. "Wh-where will I . . . go?" I whispered, forcing the tears in my eyes down my throat, stuffing it there. "You'll be sent to an orphanage, of course. But . . . Edward, look at me." he sighed, and I had to look at him. This was my last chance. My last chance to prove them wrong. Could I tell them of why I was acting this way? They'd probably forgotten what happened to me, anyway. And it was pity that made them adopt me.

It was over now. They'll be chucking me out in a few days.

"When?" I asked Carlisle. He sighed and ran his hand through his blonde hair. "Edward, the process would take longer than travelling around the world would be, so you'll only have to live in the orphanage for about a few months before your birthday. And the minute we've signed the papers, it also means we're no longer required to pay for all your costs."

Translation: You'll have to balance a job, studying, and school fees all by yourself.

"I . . . I see. I'll try to manage, though I probably wouldn't be able to attend college." I mumbled, and rushed up my bedroom, which was located on the last level.

I crashed down on my bed, rubbing my face on my pillow, for what would feel like the last time. Then I let it rip, my cries muffled by the feather pillow, I cried for everything. For my sister Alice, who was also sobbing two floors beneath me, for Rosalie, who I could hear criticizing me. For Emmett and Jasper, my two best mates, or rather, _ex-_best mates.

My heart ached.

Suddenly, the pull from my drawer was too much. I pushed myself off the bed and went over to my bottom drawer, dug around till I found that picture.

The picture of my mom, dad, and me.

The picture of a perfect family.

I stroked my mother's face absently, wishing that I was stroking her face for real. "Momma . . . _Momma. _I want you back. I want my life back." I croaked softly and the tears fell down harder. Waterfall.

Moving slowly on my bed, I let my pathetic self curl up into a useless ball, and began to cry, releasing all of my sadness. I hugged that passport-sized picture to my chest. I knew I was like a sissy, but I couldn't help myself. The least I could afford now was to be manly.

That was the beginning, and the ending was so close. Close enough to touch.

BPOV

Control, Bella, control.

I stared at the stunning, deep blue, V-neck t-shirt that I loved. Everything else was packed, all I needed now was to either chuck this shirt out, or to keep it. It was a raging battle, neither side was winning nor losing. The blue shirt reminded me of the past, but I loved it too much to let it go, like all my other shirts.

Jeez, I hated packing.

_You brought this on yourself, Bella, _a small voice reprimanded me. I winced back and my mind recoiled from the strings of memories that flooded through it.

_Me, hanging out with Leah and the others, in our cheerleading costumes, giggling at the boys who were ogling at me. _

_Me, yelling out the orders to the other cheerleaders, criticizing them for being such lazy bums. _

_Getting invited to the spring dance by the hottest guy at school, then rejecting him. _

_Standing on the table, shouting at the top of my lungs that I would be holding a 'contest', where boys were supposed to fight for me. Fight, as in the _real _fight, complete with baseball bats and metal rods. _

_The whole school attending the 'epic battle', one by one the boys got hurt, some escaping with bruises and scratches, others, who were not so lucky, had nearly dislocated an arm and sprained their ankles severely, all the while having broken fingers, bloody gashes and other horrendous stuff._

_A jock and nerd, facing off for my affections. They were the last ones. _

_The nerd falling, the jock raising his arm before plunging it straight down into the nerd's heart._

_Death._

I shook myself awake, trying not to relive the last few moments. But I couldn't, the memories were rushing themselves at me, losing me. We'd call the ambulance, of course, but by then, it was too late. Everyone in Phoenix must have heard of Jacob, who was the person who died. The whole school paid tribute to him, and I regretted my actions. It was supposed to be _fun. _

And it had gotten horribly awry.

My stomach plummeted and I rushed to my bathroom, crouching down beside the toilet bowl, and began to puke my guts out. I closed my eyes, remembering the first few days after Jacob's death, when I'd grown so upset and guilty. I didn't eat, retreating into my own shell, and refused to go to school. I wanted to do everything that would at least help me to escape from the guilt.

Rachel, Jacob's sister, blamed me. She blamed my popularity, my beauty, everything.

To the people of Phoenix State High School, I was the perfect girl. The girl who had everything: looks, personality, popularity, talent, brains, you get the picture. No one could be jealous of me, I was too sweet to be envied.

It was my beauty that happened to be the core of my guilt.

People said that I looked like a goddess, and I knew I did, but I just didn't admit it, trying to remain humble. Tears sprang up in my eyes as I flushed the toilet and proceeded to clean my mouth. I clutched my hands to my torso, which was technically the main part of my crumbling system.

When I was done, I stared back into my duffel bag, which consisted of hoodies and jeans. I recalled why I wanted to move in the first place; the chance to escape from all of _this. _To start anew, afresh. To breathe in a different Bella, someone who wasn't plastic and an utter bitch. All my years of acting like someone who didn't care, of being a fake, I wanted to be someone new. Someone like the real _me. _

I had no idea how to do it, though. Charlie, my father, tentatively asked me if I would like to come over to Forks after Jake's funeral, where he resided, for a visit. I told him yes, and for the three days of being there, I felt that I was home.

The green of the trees, moss, ferns, the brown of the deep, rich soil. The absolutely heavily scented air. It all appealed to me, it relaxed me, and I was given hope. I asked Renee, my mom, if I could possibly move there.

Renee didn't go down without a battle. A hard fought one.

But my mind was made-up, there was no stopping me. I tried to explain my situation to my mother, and she tried to understand. Finally, the last straw came when Phil, Renee's new husband, had been given an offer to teach baseball to third graders in Jacksonville, Florida. Mom didn't deliberate, saying yes immediately, and I was free to move to Forks. Free to have my freedom and release.

Except, the teeny, tiny thing was, I didn't exactly found my release when she said yes. But I figured I'll get over it . . . soon enough.

I glanced back at my blue shirt, and by impulse, snatched it and stuffed it in my overflowing bag. No point in not bringing it, I'll just come back or beg my mom to send it back to me. I loved the shirt that much.

"Bella! You ready? We have to get to the airport now!" Renee called out, breaking my reverie. "Coming, Mom!" I called back, struggling with the zip, and pulled up my hood. It had become my only life buoy, the hoodies. It protected my face from being exposed to people who would want to die just to see it. It kind of hid me away from the outside world, creating my own world in the cover and shade.

Let's just say it's nice to wear hoodies, and I never realized it till after Jake's death.

Jake, Jake, Jake. The name kept on repeating itself in my head. Everything I did was affected by him. Unless a miracle happened, I would definitely have his memory imprinted on my mind and brain forever. I was becoming obsessed with making it up to his family. I comforted the Black's, well, to anyone who would listen, in their family. The Black's were the most enthusiastic family you would ever see out there. Everything was a joke for them.

That is, until Jake's death.

Ahh . . . shoot. I should try and avoid thinking about Jacob and his family too much.

"Bella?" a small, quiet, broken voice whispered out my name. I turned around.

And regretted it.

"Leah." I greeted, making no move to approach her. "So you're still dead set on going?" she asked me, as if she was expecting me to say no. "Yes, Lee-Lee. I will still be going. I have to . . . I have to . . ." I trailed off, staring into my best friend's broken expression. "Oh, Bella!" she cried out, and flung herself at me, crushing me in her slender arms. "I don't want you to leave," she continued, "I want you to stay. Why can't you stay? Were you really forced? I don't wanna lose the only friend I've ever had . . ." She sobbed into my shoulder and I patted her back awkwardly.

"Lee-Lee, I can't. You know the reason why. I'll try and call you and send you e-mails and stuff. If you find it too much to handle without me, I'll just be twenty-four hours away from Phoenix. How about that?" I told her gently, rubbing her back in circular movements. "But . . . but it won't be the same without you. Everyone has already forgotten about Jacob. Why can't _you _forget him?"

I winced and pulled back. "That was below the belt, Leah."

She sobbed and wrapped her arms around herself, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

I sighed, "C'mere." She rushed over to me and I hugged her fiercely. "Leah, I just need some time. Besides, I don't think we'll ever forget each other. We've done so much together. From our first school dance, to junior prom, to first crushes and boyfriends, to bad break-ups. When was the last time we argued, Lee-Lee?" I asked her, awaiting her answer.

She shook her head and her tears were finally getting through my thick hoodie. "Never."

I nodded. "Exactly. I'll be home for the summer and holidays, and we still have that plan to go to university together, remember? So, everything's not lost. I'll just move away, but our friendship won't. You hear me, BFF?"

She crushed me again.

"Bella! We have to go _now!" _Mom called out, impatience coloring her voice.

"I'm right on it," I called out before turning back to my best friend, "Will you accompany me to the airport?"

Leah looked torn. After a brief silence, she shook her head. "I've still got to go over to Sam's house. He's still trying to get over Jake, like you." I nodded and gave her a brief smile. "I guess I'll see you, Lee-Lee." She hugged me tightly then let me go. "Yeah. Promise you'll call and all those other shit?" she asked and I nodded.

Hoisting my bag over my shoulder, I gave my best friend one last hug, immediately feeling the rift between us widen. "Bye." I whispered and threw the door open, letting us out. She followed me to the car, where Mom and Phil were waiting, watching us curiously. "Bye, Bella. Call me." she yelled as Phil revved up the car.

The way to the airport was quiet, Renee and Phil discussed about the weather.

I couldn't concentrate on what they were saying, because I could feel all those years of faking me being left behind as we reached Sky Harbor airport. I could sense another goodbye awaiting, and I was anticipating it. My hoodie was closed in around me, shielding me from the glare of the sunlight. Finally, it came to the point where we had to get out of the car.

"Tell Charlie I said hi, will you?" Renee reminded me and hugged me once, before checking her flight. "Oh! We're due in thirty minutes! Quick, Phil, we have to go!" Phil mumbled a goodbye over his shoulder and I waved at the both of them, laughing silently as they rushed to the check-in counter.

Then it was time for my flight and I got on the plane without a backwards glance.

Getting off the final plane at Port Angeles, everything seemed a little woozy. I was probably suffering from major jet-lag, and my phone had been going off annoyingly ever since I touched down in Seattle. The shrill ringing didn't help my current situation, and I became more clumsy than I had always been. It was a miracle why I was even head cheerleader in the first place.

"Hey, Bella!" I whirled around and spotted my dad.

Charlie was a man who, when smiling, looked so friendly and heart breakingly handsome that you'll see where I got my looks from. Actually, I got it from both my parents, Dad being the most, and Mom being the second-most. God, I was using contorted sentences now.

"Dad . . ." I mumbled and tried not to groan as he wrapped me in his strong grip. He pulled away after realizing how uncool it was to see a police hugging a teenager in the middle of a makeshift airport. "You seemed a little too pale. You need an aspirin?" he took a a small pill and I couldn't help but let out a small grin. "Thanks, Dad. I needed it." I took it, unscrewed the top of the bottle that I'd bought in the plane back in Seattle.

I downed the remaining water along with the pill.

Instantly, the aspirin kicked in, and I rubbed my temples. "You ready to go, darling?" Charlie asked, eyeing the pill-case in my hand doubtfully. "Yep. Let's roll." I sighed and once again prepared to hoist my bag over my shoulder. Charlie's big hands stopped me, grabbing one of the straps and shouldered my bag on top oh his own shoulders.

"Thanks. I needed that." I thanked him and we headed off towards the cruiser, which, fortunately, the red-and-blue lights were off.

The trip to Forks was a quiet one, much like my first car ride there. Charlie wasn't much of a talker, and I thanked God that he was like that. Otherwise, I'd have a more than pounding headache right now. I must have dozed off, because the next minute, Charlie was shaking my arm gently. "Honey, we're here." he said softly, and I grunted.

Charlie laughed, and I rolled my head towards his direction. "Yeah, you'll regret waking me up." I scoffed, though I was too drained to keep it up, and stumbled out the car.

We went up to my room, dumped my bag on the floor, and Charlie literally forced me to take a long nap. "I'll have to go to the station, anyway. Some kid vandalized your new high school to be. There's now a large expletive on top of the school logo." I laughed a little and rubbed my temples once again, the ache in my head getting worst.

"Mmf." I managed through my pillow, and felt something touch my hair. Was it Charlie's hands?

I didn't bother to check. For now, I needed sleep.


	2. First Glance

**Author's Note: Whoa! I've been getting great hits and three reviews for my first chapter! Thanks so much, Emoprincess98, booklover311 and betsyboop for leaving the awesome reviews! I appreciate it loads! A promise is a promise, right? Well, I have to keep that promise now that I realized that so many people are reading CYKAS. Also, I can't ensure a weekly update nor a regular one, since I rarely have the time to do my FanFic, especially when I've got tons of stuff to do. But I'll try and get them up and running ASAP. So, anyway, on to the story. Reviews, please! ^^,,**

**~SerenityXX**

**Disclaimer: All characters in this story belongs to SM, not me . . . (Drat.) Oh well, at least I can still keep the plot. ^^**

* * *

><p>EPOV<p>

I woke up, all sore. My head pounded from the alcohol last night. I glared up at my ceiling, immediately lapsing in a bad mood. My eyes burned, blood flushed my cheeks and neck, I felt all hot.

Burning, actually.

I checked the time: it was 6:15 a.m. Too early and too late. I groaned and my throat painfully scratched against the sides. I choked back a gasp, getting a harsh punishment from my gullet from doing so, and the events of last night rushed back at me. By impulse, my eyes stung, despite the dryness. My face, which was so warm, grew impossibly hotter and I tested my forehead, feeling the warmth seep through my fingers.

Oh wonderful. Perfect. Just what I needed, really.

Goddamned retarded fever.

"Ugh." I groaned out, irritated, my throat retaliated by lashing out at me. I closed my eyes, trying to take in a deep breath to calm myself, since nothing interesting was going to happen to me if I got out of bed and said good morning to my family like I always did. Carlisle and Esme would just stay stone set on their decision.

Oh God, now I was thinking of them as strangers once again. A few tears betrayed me, running over my already burning cheeks. I fought back another few tears before proceeding to wipe away any evidence of sadness. I rubbed my face real hard against my hands, feel the callousness of it all scratch against my stubble. Wow, sometimes, I hate being a boy. You had to shave off any signs of a beard almost everyday because when you didn't, all the girls would clear away as if you had a contorted face or something.

And girls thought they had it hard. Huh.

I sighed and amended that thought. Girls _would _have it harder. They'll get their hearts ripped out and given to cannibals whenever they fell for someone like me. I scratched my stomach, feeling the muscles ripple there, and padded over to the bathroom, where I grabbed a thermometer. I stuck it in my mouth, waiting for the annoying _beep _to sound. It somehow took longer than I had expected.

When I checked my temperature, my eyes nearly popped out of my head: 44.3 degrees. Was I that hot? I scoffed a little at how that sentence came out.

I could already hear Esme chiding me not to go to school, and I'd probably comply. The problem was . . . I didn't want to stay at home, knowing that I was no longer welcomed here. Could I pack my stuff and rent out at a student hostel? No, I couldn't. I still had school to think about and the nearest student hostel here was at Hoquiam, which meant that I'd have to get up really early if I wanted to get to school on time.

Jeez, this was troublesome. I hated it.

_You're telling me, _the annoyingly small but loud voice at the corner of my expansive mind complained. _Shut up, _I told it, and gratefully, it shut up.

I went back to my bedroom to get into a brand new set of clothes, one of which Alice had bought for me some days back. It was a Calvin Klein button down polo and Levis jeans. I usually topped off my looks with a black leather jacket, that, combined with the branded clothing, got me the title of Mr. Popular.

Sometimes though, I was tempted to buy clothes from thrift shops since they were so much more cheaper and still looked the same. To me, at least. But trust me, Alice wouldn't want to know about it. She'd kill me before bringing me back to life and torturing me with endless lectures of how special branded clothes was. I would never get it, but having branded clothes meant everything to my sister.

Or should I say, my soon-to-be-_not-_sister.

I rubbed my face with my right hand and rushed back to the bathroom to wash off the dirt and grime on my face, and then brushing my flawless white teeth fiercely, almost swallowing the foam that came from the toothpaste. Mint rolled of my tongue, and I took a moment to enjoy the taste.

Just then, I remembered that I was probably still too early for school. Not that I didn't mind, but still. Edward Cullen would have never been this early, unless he had to meet up with a girl first, before heading over to school. Note the phrase 'meet up' to mean 'quickie.' I sighed again and shook my head, making up my mind to just go over to school. What use would it be to try and be late? It wasn't like I could take back all my actions.

I gulped then and had to force back the liquid from the mouthwash.

Heading downstairs was the most difficult thing I've done in ages. It frightened me a little, no wait, scratch that. It frightened me _a lot _from the prospect of seeing my family's disappointed faces and Carlisle and Esme's knowing look. But they weren't there, the reason being that Esme had left for groceries and Carlisle for work. My other siblings, I mean, 'siblings', were not yet awake. I took the opportunity to make my own breakfast.

_Never _tell Esme this, but her cooking is beyond agony. Add that to the list of extremely important secrets that I kept.

If you're wondering how I learned to cook, let's just say that when Momma died, I took over the household chores, learning that you have to _not _put colored clothes with the white ones, because you'll get some rather nasty colors on your pretty pristine white shirt. And also, _never ever _mix broccoli with celery. It will kill you.

I was just flipping the typical cheese omelets onto a plate when I heard someone's footsteps. I quickly slammed the omelets onto the plate and turned off the stove before stashing the pan into the sink, where the heat from the bottom of the pan still seethed with angry smoke. I fanned the smoke in a hurry, opening the window in front of the sink, and breathed a sigh of relief when the smoke went away.

The footsteps got closer and closer. My heart beat hyper-actively.

"Hey, Mom. What smells so-" Emmett grunted and froze when he saw me. His eyes seemingly bulged out of their sockets, and I laughed silently. I felt my face grow hotter and my knees grow weak. The fever was getting to me, the warm kitchen quickly turned into a cold one since the window was open, blowing in winds that licked at my burning face.

"Oh, hey, Emmett." I rasped out, unable to greet him in the normal way I would. He raised an eyebrow at my whisper, before assessing me more thoroughly. I hoped my skin wasn't as flushed as it seemed to be, I didn't want to have to lie to my favorite brother.

It turned out that I didn't have to, since all Emmett ever did was to zero in on the hot omelets I made. "Did Mom make this?"

This was the time for me to step up, to reveal all the shocking details of my past to the man that I've treated and seen as my brother for so many years. But I couldn't, the words stuck in my throat, clumping into a humongous ball. I took a deep breath and pulled on my poker face, trying as hard as I could to maintain it. I didn't have to though, Emmett's face still focused on the omelets.

"Er, yes."

He frowned at my answer, before opening his mouth, "That's weird . . . Mom never made omelets this good. Don't tell her that." I grinned at him, apparently, I wasn't the only one who noticed Esme's non-edible food. "She searched it up on Food Network." I defended Esme, almost convincing myself that I could fool Emmett. "That's a first. Is there any milk?" he asked, walking over to the refrigerator, popping the door open, and pawing through the mountains of leftovers that came from Esme's dinner last night. I grimaced because it was probably way overcooked steak and lumpy mashed potatoes.

"No. But, er, I made coffee?" my sentence came out as a question, and my cheeks overflowed with red, both from my fever and from my stupid words. "Really?" Emmett whirled around, eyeing me in shock. I held back a breath, wishing that he wouldn't notice the redness in my cheeks and forehead.

No such luck.

"Hey, you sick or something?" he asked me, concern evident in his voice and expression. I shook my head vehemently before whirling around to pour Emmett and myself a cup of coffee. Without meeting his questioning eyes, I placed it in front of him and grabbed a few omelets for him. I watched as Emmett eyed the omelets doubtfully.

Emmett tentatively raised a bite-sized spoonful of yellow egg. He deliberately bit into the spoon and I watched as his eyes widened. He proceeded to stuff as much omelets as he could in his mouth, and I laughed aloud at how ridiculous he looked like.

_I will miss this, _I thought, the feeling that coursed through me then putting a lump in my throat.

"Damn, this stuff is awesome!" he said around his eggs. I laughed at him again, and suddenly the room went a little woozy. Then I blurted out, "You . . . wanna catch a ride with me?"

Emmett choked.

"Hey!" I yelled, flinching back from the soreness in my throat as I smacked his back, real hard, while he coughed and coughed. "Yeah, yeah." he gasped through his throat. "You sure?" I asked anxiously. The annoying voice in my head started to commend me for being such a good brother. I had never allowed anyone near my Volvo, not even the girls I screwed. No one, and I really mean no one, had ever stepped foot in my precious silver Volvo, apart from me.

_That's why you should take the remaining of your time here to show how much you appreciate this family, _the annoying voice buzzed with excitement. _Oh, for Pete's sake, shut the hell up! _I told the voice, lapsing back into my frowning face. Emmett finally regained himself, and he stared at me in curiosity. I stared back at him evenly, willing my fever to subside, but I had the most rotten of luck today.

"You must be definitely sick." he stated simply, returning to his food and scarfing down the not-so-hot omelets. There was a teasing light in his voice, and I appreciated it, partly because that meant he didn't really see that I _was_ having a fever. So I asked him again, "You want a ride or not? Those tires on your jeep are kind of . . . flat." Em raised his eyebrows at me before shrugging.

"I don't see any reason for me to say no," he sighed, before continuing, "Is Rose allowed to come?" I frowned once again, putting that into consideration once again. I thought about it, and the voice said, _why not? _I sighed inwardly and grinned a sick smile, "Yeah, sure. I'm not sure 'bout Alice and Jasper though . . . They seemed really mad at me from last night." Emmett scoffed.

"_Seemed? _Try - they _are _furious and absolutely loathing you. Why do you think they haven't come down yet?"

"Oh . . . I see." That was all I could manage. Nothing else came out from my mouth as I thought deeply about it.

Emmett clanked his fork and spoon on his plate and dumped it on the sink and I quickly ate the rest of my breakfast. Rosalie came down then, took one ravenous look at the omelets, before grabbing her own plate and eating as fast as she could; we were running late. "Hey, what smells so good?" This was Jasper's voice, now. He stepped into the kitchen, saw me, then turned back.

My heart plunged a thousand depths into a cold sea.

Emmett sensed my despair and patted my shoulder in sympathy. Rose struggled a little with her book bag before rushing off to the garage. "Wait, Rose!" Em called out. "What?" she answered, obviously annoyed. "Edward's offered to drive us to school today." he told her hesitantly, gauging her reaction.

Rosalie did a good impersonation of a fish.

"You serious?" she demanded me and Em, trying to catch some sort of joke. I only nodded my head, since everything was now spinning. I could practically see stars. She was silent, before taking one look at her watch. "Let's go?" I asked, ready to leave. Though they were blurred, I could see that they were nodding. I lead them to my car, and they gaped at it.

They sure were lucky no fly went into their trap.

I popped open the doors, giving them freedom to sit anywhere they liked. Emmett chose to sit at the front, beside the driver's seat, and Rosalie sat at the back, making sure to leave plenty of space left in my leather seat.

Taking a deep breath, I revved the engine and began our way to school, driving at a hundred miles per hour in an effort to get to school in time.

Thankfully, we did.

We all got out of the car, and the first thing we saw was an enormous dirty orange truck, which immediately shouted out that it was rickety, ancient, and couldn't even go past fifty miles per hour. Rose eyed the truck, noting the iron fenders that would kill any other car that collided with this thing. This truck was definitely made for protection, not style. Rose loved the car, admiring every single detail about it.

I loved the car too.

Needless to say, we went our separate ways after that, not even saying goodbye because the bell for first period had just rang.

My first class was English, building three, thankfully close enough for me to run and not get that too winded. I stepped into class just as the bell rang, and Mr. Varner congratulated me sarcastically, saying that this was the first time I wasn't late. I gave him a weak grin, which actually erased that smirk on his face, replacing it with shock and concern.

Damn, I was getting way too much of that looks now.

Maybe it was my own fault, since I never smiled at any teacher, neither did I even tried to make it to school in time. So I slouched in my seat, clutching my jacket closer around me, trying to get warmer, the little bits of wind that blew around me were ice-cold hurricanes. I felt like I was standing in a freezer. Mr. Varner, thankfully, didn't notice my shivering, droning on and on about the announcements he had to belt out.

The noise in the classroom were too loud. I felt like my eardrums were being clawed at.

" . . . And finally, for our last announcement, I would like to introduce our new student, Ms. Isabella Swan, daughter of Chief Swan. Ms. Swan, care to join me in the front, please?" Mr. Varner was saying. I perked up. A new student, huh? Wonder how she looks like . . .

This Isabella Swan walked past me to the front, and I caught a whiff of strawberries. The scent threw me off-guard, soothing my aching head for a moment. There was something wrong about her, though. Her head was hanging really low, almost as if . . . she didn't want anyone to look at her. Also, she was wearing such an over-sized jacket, complete with a hoodie that hid her hair and face, so that we couldn't judge whether or not she was a nerd, pretty-face, or an emo. The hood was coloring the inside black, and everyone was trying to catch a glimpse, and we all slouched in our seats when we couldn't

The first thing that popped into my head after lying back on the table was: freak.

But as I thought about that, the annoying voice smacked me in the back of my head, walloping me real hard. I yelped in my mind before cursing under my breath. Why, wasn't I free to think what I want about other people now? What was so wrong about that? I growled in frustration, and Mike Newton, who always sat dutifully beside me, stared at me with a look that said, 'has-he-gone-mental?'

"What'cha looking at, punk?" I snarled and he curled into his seat uncomfortably.

Isabella Swan kept her head down low as the teacher carried on complimenting her father, sucking up to the new girl all at once. Yet she didn't seem to care, and her fingers, which were stuffed into her jacket pockets, were clenching and unclenching. This was funny, I was never this attentive to my surroundings. Emmett was right, something was wrong with me.

Or maybe I lost my mind yesterday, during my break down.

My fingers grazed the top of my wallet, where I'd stuffed that picture I found last night. Without really meaning to, my hand was now opening my wallet and taking out that picture. My jaw snapped together, I heard the _snap _that came along with it, and shoved my wallet back down my jacket pocket. The girl was now walking back to her seat, walking past me once again, before plopping down at the seat at the back of the class. Strawberries wavered in the air before the stupid act of diffusion had to come by. Damn Biology and its creators.

"Right. Now that that's done, would you please turn to page 137 of your textbooks . . ." the teacher was saying.

Class flew by in a daze, the fever was peaking, and I was miserable.

No one, not even the girls that chased me afterwards, cheered me up the moment I saw Amber's broken face glaring at me and Alice, who looked back at her helplessly, mouthing sorry. After doing so, she gave me her number one 'you're-an-asshole-and-I-loathe-you-so-much' look. She picked up her lunch tray, dumped it in the trash bin, and stalked off, Jasper trailing after her. Did I forget to mention it was now lunch? Yep, I did. Way to go, Masen.

_Masen. _Wow, I hadn't used that surname in a long time. Maybe I was already getting used to the idea of being Edward Masen, not Edward Cullen. I laid my head on the table, taking slow, deep breaths, not bothering to open my eyes, getting lost in the flurry of voices and other sounds.

It was funny, how much my life altered in the matter of just twenty-four hours. Just yesterday, I was picking out tuxedos for the Spring Dance, making out with Amber at the party, then having screwing her after that. I made a grave mistake, and now, everything would change, all because I didn't dare to open up to anyone about my past.

I wonder, if I had done that, would it have resolved anything?

Probably not.

I sighed and heard Emmett's laugh boom above the rest. I shifted my head slowly, making sure to take note of my stiff neck, and raised my right eyebrow at him. He continued to laugh as if he didn't give a damn about the rest of the world, as if he was a _child. _That was one of the things I loved about Emmett, he never let anything else cloud his decisions. Not even Carlisle and Esme, who had no idea that he had proposed to Rose just a few months ago, on New Year's Eve.

But sshh. No one should know that, apart from me, him, her, and Jasper.

Alice? Forget it, she'll spill out anything else within a few minutes of knowing it. Trust me, I know from experience. I whacked myself in my mind.

Emmett glanced at me and froze. My breath stuck in my throat and I quickly turned away from his gaze, not wanting him to see just how sick I was feeling now. Cold sweat matted the back of my back and front of my chest. My shirt was wet with the sweat, and it was seeping through my infallible jacket. My hair, which was usually messy, was now _extremely _messy. Blood flowed twice as it usually did in my face, the vein at my temple was pulsing.

All in all, I looked hideous.

I felt Emmett's eyes burn a hole through my head and I refused to look back at him. I wouldn't. I wouldn't.

The lunch bell rang then, and I breathed a sigh of relief. _Saved by the bell. _I grinned at the thought and headed off to Bio, where another fate awaited me.

BPOV

I was about to munch through the sandwich I packed when my phone vibrated.

I flipped open the screen: (1) new message. From: Leah

_Bella, _it read.

_E whole skul's been askng whr e hell u r n i told 'em u were gone. They freaked, B. Seth and Jared esp. Check ur e-mail, u've got at least 15 e-mails. Miss u. Wish u were here._

_Lee-Lee _

I sighed and shook my head. No doubt that there would be new messages in my e-mail. I didn't care, though. I was gone from Phoenix. I didn't need to pretend that I was still the hyperactive, cheerleader. So instead, I stuffed my sandwich into my mouth and washed it down with Gatorade. I have to say, Gatorade and turkey sandwiches do not go together, especially if you're eating them in a hurry.

My phone vibrated again. It was Leah once more.

_Hey, B, I noe it's lunch now in ur skul. reply ASAP plssss! I can't bear w/out u here talkin 2 me! - Leah _

For God's sake.

I speed-dialed Leah and waited impatiently for her to pick up her phone. It didn't even take three rings before she picked it up. "Bella, omigod! I missed you so much!" Leah's piercing voice ripped through my composure, and I made sure no one was looking at me as I wiped away the tears that fell. "Hi. Erm . . . yeah. I missed you too. How's Seth?"

The phone crackled for a while, then Seth's warm tone flooded through me ear. "Isabella Swan, how dare you not tell me that you're moving?" he shouted and I flinched back before laughing silently. "Sorry, Seth. I was a bit busy with the transferring documents that Phoenix State forced upon me." I tried to sound sincere, but he was not having that.

"That doesn't mean you couldn't tell us! We would have sent you to the airport ourselves!" he reprimanded me, I could almost see him wagging his index finger at me, his thick eyebrows pushed against each other. I laughed aloud and Seth seemed to appreciate me trying to make a joke, because he chuckled and whispered, "I miss you, Bella. When are you gonna come home?"

My laugh stopped.

"Um . . . I'm not so sure. I just need some time alone and away from all the buzz of Phoenix. After You-Know-Who's death, I really want some breathing space to think about . . . some things. I hope you understand Seth. I'm not ready for anything big now, not with Jacob's death happening a few months ago."

"I know, I know. It's just that this place isn't the same without you. You've been with us for nearly your whole life, without you here, it's as if we've just lost a vital part of our own lives. It's disorienting, lonely. We don't like it. The whole Junior class has been mourning your leave you know. No one's ever been missed as much as you are." Now _that, _was the longest and heartfelt thing that I have ever heard one of my closest friends tell me.

"Tell them that I miss them as well, will you?" I was just about to add in a few more remarks when the bell rang. I continued urgently, "Oh, sorry. I gotta go, Seth. I don't wanna be late for ever-loving Biology." Seth laughed and yelled out goodbye while I promised to e-mail him later after school ended. Snapping my phone shut, shoving it down my pocket, I rushed towards the Bio lab, running alongside the rest of the people who were late.

There's a record: Isabella Swan, for the first time ever, is late for class.

Just as I stepped into the lab, I smelled the nice but metallic smell of ancient metal and wooden chairs. There wasn't any other chairs left for me to sit in, so I was forced to stand and look at the teacher dumbly. My face flushed underneath the hoodie as Mr. Banner read my documents. There was a slight impressed furrowing of his eyebrows as he read through it quickly.

Then he stood up, and placed one hand gently on the small of my back. It was enough for me to shudder, though, at the contact. It's been months since I last allowed any guy to touch me. "All right, settle down. We have a new student today. Her name's Isabella Swan, though by this time, you've already heard all about her. So I'll leave all the formalities to the rest of you. Ms. Swan, if you would, please sit next to Edward Cullen, just by the back." he gestured openly to the same boy who was in all of my classes so far.

Immediately, I could tell something was wrong. His head was lying on the table, right cheek pressed against the table top. His strangely tousled but utterly soft-looking bronze hair was standing up in all sorts of directions. His eyes were closed tightly, almost as if he was trying to fight some internal battle inside his own head.

That's weird . . . I never thought about any guy this way before. Usually, I'll do a once-over, immediately stereotyping the poor guy. I have two categories, actually. One was the hotties but surely jerks, the other was the not as hot but gentlemanly and sincere guys. Back in Phoenix, I always said yes to the first option, because I needed a hot guy on my arm. But then, whenever Leah or any of the other cheerleaders weren't looking closely enough, I was dating the second option guys.

That was one of the reasons why I did that dreadful mistake.

I shuddered a bit and moved over to where the boy was still flopped on. As I sat down beside him, I felt warmth radiating through me, almost as if he was spreading the warmth he had to me.

I looked over and noticed that he was flushed. His face was in pain. I bit my lip, torn on whether or not I should help the poor guy out. Thankfully, the teacher noticed the boy before my mouth even twitched a muscle. "Edward, are you alright?" he asked over the roar of the students. This Edward, who didn't even raise up his head to acknowledge the teacher's concerns, did not answer, keeping his eyes closed and taking deep breaths with his nose. He would have been really handsome, but his face was too contorted to tell.

I was getting pissed by the boy's attitude. "Um, excuse me, but I do believe that the teacher is talking to you," I whispered out, speaking barely over a whisper. His eyes opened a fraction of an inch, and I caught the barest hint of bright emeralds. "Mmmf." Was all the boy managed. I raised both of my eyebrows in disbelief. Then he sighed and rolled his head so that I couldn't see his face anymore.

I was really starting to get pissed.

Unintentionally, my hand flew to his forehead, and it was met with a furious burning. I snatched back my hand from the heat, feeling as though I've been electrocuted. The boy named Edward barely had the energy to even move, his eyes popped a bit open, allowing me to glimpse a hint of emerald, before closing them again. I stared at his face anxiously, my mouth about to tell the teacher that this boy was one of those too-noble-for-their-own-good boys that took fever lightly.

I was once again cut off.

"Ms. Swan, would you mind bringing Edward over here to the sick bay?" Mr. Banner asked of me, probing to see if it was okay with me.

I was now completely flabbergasted, of course, who _wouldn't _want to help a cute guy? But on the other hand, this action might bring some attention to me, and since that was something I'd been avoiding, would I take the teacher up on his offer?

Impulsively, I blurted out, "Yeah."

Oh crud.

But there was no going back now, I had to get the boy to the sick bay as fast as I could and disappear into oblivion when I was finished. Damned, stupid maternal instincts, always coming out of nowhere and getting me into trouble. I wished I didn't have to be a girl. Sometimes, I just wanted some peace, other times, fun, but this? No way!

Good lord, please help me!

I slung my left arm around his waist, expecting some beer belly or something, since this looked like the kind of guy that partied everyday and every night, then only went home when he needed something badly. But I was wrong, and I could feel something along the lines of a thin bump just above his exposed waist. It felt like a scar, and I unconsciously traced it. Beside me, Edward shivered.

"Alright, alright, I'll get you to the nurse." I was speaking in whispers, not wanting attention. I did get my wish though. No one seemed to notice me helping a sick boy to the nurse's office. A huge plus for me.

As I walked to office, Edward had his long arms draped loosely across my waist. It sent tickling sensations down my spine, having spent months without any boy's touch. I'd missed this, I'd grown unaccustomed to this.

He was breathing into my skin, and I think I might have heard something along the lines of "Smell so nice . . ." I flushed lightly when I heard this, and I noticed that I was starting to sweat, thanks to Edward's overheated skin. He was to warm, practically a human sauna.

I thanked my lucky starts when we finally reached our destination: the sick bay. It was a huge difference from Phoenix, where it would have taken me at least fifteen minutes to even get halfway. Here in Forks, though, was a completely different story, this was one of the many perks I loved about living here. My first _real _day here, and already I'm totally in love with this town.

When I set Edward down and told the nurse our problem, she immediately set off to tell Ms. Cope, who was the receptionist, to call one of his siblings so that Edward could go home. I was forced to sit in the plastic chair beside the bed that Edward laid on, counting the seconds that ticked by. The bell had rung, and I was still stuck in the nurse's office, contemplating running away. Suddenly, there was a loud booming of steps that came towards us. The door slammed open, and my heart leaped out of my chest.

"Where the heck is my little brother?" A deep, booming, and extremely loud voice echoed throughout the office. Beside me, Edward groaned and flopped towards the sound. His eyes were still closed, his face badly sweating. The nurse had stuck a thermometer in his mouth. I doubted that it even worked, because up until now, there was no temperature reading on it's digital screen.

"Em . . . Emmett," Edward struggled to get the name properly, without garbling up the words. "Wha ya doin' 'ere." he seemed to be saying. I tried to understand what he'd said, but I couldn't comprehend what it was, for Emmett was rushing his way towards his brother, affectionately patting his dear brother's hand. "Alice wouldn't come, Jasper couldn't, and Rose is stuck in Mrs. Goff's class, she wouldn't allow her to though she fought tooth and nail. So I was left, and Coach Clapp didn't seem to mind." he winced as he said the words.

I tried to look for resemblance, but there weren't any. Now I was as confused as ever, they _were _supposed to be brothers, right? So why did Emmett looked so much like a bear while Edward looked like . . . a mountain lion? I was starting to freak out, was I seeing things? There were too many questions in my head, each of them not being answered.

It seemed like I couldn't understand what was wrong with me. This morning I was determined to be left on the borders of the high school community, not stuck in the office with two hot boys, one of them severely sick while the other was staring nervously at his brother.

Brotherly love, how heartwarming.

I scoffed silently and decided then and there to slide out of the office. This thing had nothing to do with me. Nothing at all.

So why was I concerned for the boy?


	3. Fever and Movies

_**Author's Note: Special thanks to Mackenzie L. for reviewing First Glance (Chapter 2 of CYKAS) and of course, to all those others who've been reading the story! Thanks a billion times a billion more! ^^**_

**_I just wanna make it clear though, in case some of you are confused, Edward cares for his father, even though he's been abused, and Bella's ashamed of being the reason why Jake died. Both of them are really, really screwed in a non-sexual way, and they want to get out of it. But don't worry, my lovies, they'll find each other soon, just wait for it. And also, this isn't the type of Fanfic whereby Bella and Edward falls in love at the first sight, but more or less their love is a build-up, but they're sparking. _**

**_So I guess you guys are cleared? You wanna read this new update? Yes? Well - GO! Sit back, relax, get ready your pillows to hug, and ENJOY! :)) _**

**_~S_**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight and all of its awesome characters. Especially Edward. Damn it.**_

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

I felt my weight being shifted while my stomach plummeted down with it. I slapped my hand over my mouth and groaned out pathetically, "Emmett, stop moving." Emmet grumbled back, "Well, sooorry! It isn't my fault that your car is prone to little movements!"

I scrunched my eyes tighter, unwilling to open them in fears of seeing the green that was probably wooshing past by me. "We're getting there, Edward. Chill, I'll get you hot chocolate and some ice-packs." he whispered affectionately, and I nearly laughed aloud. Those kind of stuff wouldn't even help with my fever. Nevertheless, I had to entertain him. "Yeah, thanks Em."

The rest of the car ride was left in silence as Emmett struggled with my car's control; it was his first time driving it and he was still getting used to it. This situation would have been funny, seeing as my car was meant for speed and style, not some protective thing that even a tank couldn't scratch it, like Em's monster jeep. I shudder to even think about it: the tires, and I really, really mean this literally, were way above my waist, the jeep itself was more than fifteen feet long. Of course, it caused Em half a year worth of tutoring, working part-time at the local supermarket and most of his savings just to pay a quarter of the jeep's cost.

The rest of the money was paid by Carlisle, who was keen to get his son his first car.

Unlike me, who didn't even have to do anything just to get my car. All I ever did was make some fruitless promise to change for the better and _snap,_ they agreed to buy me my Volvie.

Yes, my car had a name. Yes, I was bastard. Live with it.

I sighed and buried my head into my hands, rocking back and forth slowly, trying to relive the dizziness that swirled around my head. If I were a cartoon, you could probably see glittering stars circling around my head like planets.

Then the car stopped and Emmett rushed out the driver's side to my side. Wrapping his huge hands round my arm and draping it over his shoulder, he towed me towards the house, where there was the promise of fresh clothes, warm quilts, and of course, _ice-packs. _And hot soup. I couldn't wait to make myself some awesome chicken soup.

I was about to head over to the kitchen, but Em stopped me. "Where do you think you're going? Go back to your room, Edward. I'll take care of your food." he scolded me, amazingly sounding so much like Esme. I wondered how he could cook, and I wished fervently that he _could _cook. I'd rather starve than take a sip of Esme's horrid, lumpy, and severely overcooked soup. Please, please, if there is a God, please tell me Emmett didn't take cooking lessons with Esme. I swear, I'll be a good boy, just not that kind of soup.

Emmett dumped me on the bed and made sure I'd changed into cleaner, dry clothes before heading back downstairs. I dozed on and off throughout the time he spent trying to cook me soup. At least, that's what I think he was doing. There were too many clanking of pans and utensils to tell. I could faintly smell something delicious, but my nose was too blocked to be able to smell properly.

I was completely out when something hard started to poke me in the sides. Disgruntled, I waved it off, feeling the heaviness in my hand turn into lead while doing so. "Edward, you gotta drink some soup. I spent fifty freaking minutes trying to find a decent cookbook just to make you something that won't make you sicker. Now will you please move your burning butt up so that you could drink it?" he growled out, frustrated.

I sighed, feeling the dryness in my throat protest, and I almost choked back. I didn't want anything sliding in between my throat, it felt too pain to even consider water sliding through it. But still, my stomach was snarling in protest, and I needed some sort of food otherwise I'll be even closer to death than I already was.

So I sat up, with my aching back and arms sorely smacking the rest of me. "Do you want to feed yourself, or do I have to treat you like a prince?" he asked sarcastically; he knew I'd never let anyone do that for me.

"I'd rather feed myself, thank you." I told him, taking the spoon from him and struggling to get a spoonful into my mouth. I couldn't, though, and after the fifth failed attempt, Emmett stepped in to help me, gently probing my unyielding mouth and shoving the spoon in it. Surprisingly, the soup tasted really good, it wasn't as lumpy as I'd thought it would be, and it was only _slightly _overcooked.

Great first try, though.

I complimented Emmett, and he smiled brilliantly at me, laughing as though there was no tomorrow. "Well, you're lucky I never paid attention to Mom," he was saying. I managed a nod, feeling a small burst of strength in my feeble body. If I kept this up, I could get well within a few days or so. Then I could exhaust myself on more troubling issues like finding a job or something for my future.

That is, if I even _had _a future.

Looking at Emmett laugh his world away, I felt some strong, convoluted feeling inside of me rise up to the surface, and I wanted to tell him of what Esme and Carlisle wanted to do with me. Of how I was going to be homeless, family-less, poor, you name it, within a few months. I felt my heart tightened, tears springing into my eyes. I snapped them closed, tightening their closure, unwilling for them to spill.

There was no way I was going to be crying in front of my infallible brother. I will not.

The tears rolled down my cheek. Betrayers.

"Hey?" Emmett asked, bewilderment evident in his deep bass. I forced my head away from his direction, clamping my mouth shut. Fortunately, Emmett remained silent. Good man, good man, that brother of mine is. Unlike me, a person whose adoptive parents got sick of. Someone shoot me dead now. Please.

The tears came faster as my thoughts drifted off to list all of my mistakes, imperfections, troubles. I hated every single one of it.

He never forced me to tell him what was wrong. Instead, he slid out of the room quietly, giving me some privacy. I know I shouldn't be doing this, I know it wouldn't be advisable, yet I couldn't control myself. Damn it, I was such a sissy. What the hell happened to me that made me want to bawl my eyes out every single freaking second?

_Oh yeah, _the stupid, creepy, and extremely irritating voice said snidely, _you're so called Mom and Dad decided to kick you out of their lives forever, your recurring nightmares won't ever stop, and your insignificant care for your stupid, vile, repulsive biological father still remains with you even though he's doing his time in a mental institution. Who wouldn't cry over _that?

Me, I thought back.

Still, here I was, stuffing my pillow in face, feeling the roughness of the pillow casing scratch against my hot face. I could tell I was getting more blotchy and blotchy by the second. But I didn't care. Not now, not ever.

Somehow or rather, I must have fallen asleep, for I was devouring dreams of strawberries and brown eyes.

EMPOV

I left Edward in his bedroom to give the guy some privacy. Ever since last night, or rather, this _morning, _he's not been the same. Usually, by this time, he'd have some girl over, and he'd be all over her, like, literally. They'll be kissing and fondling, as if they hadn't have a care in the world for all those around them.

Instead, Edward, my brother, the one who lost his virginity when he was only fourteen to a girl four years his senior, the boy who had sexy hair, sexy voice, sexy arms, hell, sexy _everything, _was crying his eyes out with his pillow. I recalled the last moments that I saw him before shutting the door. He was clinging onto his pillow like a life-saver. He looked so bad, no girl or even guy would know that the boy who was bawling in the room upstairs of mine was The Edward Cullen.

I didn't know why I even cared for him in the first place. The first time I saw Edward was when Mom brought him along with her to Sunshine Orphanage, where I used to be situated. I remember that I took one look at him, freaked out because he looked so matured and devastatingly handsome that I probably looked like the Hunchback of Notre Dame beside him.

I remember him taking one look at me, giving me the once-over everyone always seem to do, and said to Mom, "I want him to be my brother." As simple as that. As _easy _as that, I had a brother for all intents and purposes. I had a brother who, the next day, will not even talk to me, much less look at me. It didn't matter though, because three months after that, Jasper came into the family.

Edward did the same thing that he did to me for Jasper, except I was now part of the evaluating crew. And I agreed wholeheartedly.

Back to the present, anyway.

I still haven't got a clue why I was taking care of him. He never seemed to care for me, and I, vice-versa. I accepted the fact, but after this morning, really looking at him for the first time, I could see there was something that Edward was hiding from all of us. Something that he was not willing to tell us. Something that would either make or break his world.

I was definitely up to the challenge of finding out what it was. I mean, come on, the guy was probably hiding something like having a secret daughter or leading a separate life, like Hannah Montanna.

Okay, scratch that thought. He'll go after me with a chopper if he even found out I was thinking about it.

First things first, the crying had stopped. Time to check his pillows, make sure they weren't too wet or he'll end up with a huge headache, higher fever, and ultimately bad mood.

I'd learned all of these things when Rose read a shitty book about babies. She was obsessed with her first child, though she wasn't keen on getting one now, she planned ahead for the future. I don't want to put in all the mushy, mushy stuff here, you guys might puke all over your computer or cellphones, no offense. But Rose had forced me to agree that 'Anaphasia' was a good name for our first daughter. I think she's a little sexist, since she never thought about a boy's name, but hey, I'm okay with that.

I think.

Anyway, and I really think I'm beginning to say 'anyway' a lot, I went up to his room, peeked through the small opening, and found out that he was asleep. So I opened the door wider, making sure I didn't make a sound, and reached out to touch his pillow. It was wet, very wet.

I didn't want to disturb his peace in sleeping; it looked like he was having a good dream, and instead got myself busy on looking for a good spare change of clothes for him. I opened up his drawers, rifled through every bit of overly fancy shirts before finally finding a decent cotton white t-shirt and boxers. I was about to coax him to wake up when something caught my eye: his wallet.

Something was making me gravitate towards it, though I didn't know how. I glanced back at my brother, ensuring that he was fast asleep, and whipped out his wallet from his jean's pocket. I didn't know what I was looking for, frankly. Some address or number? I looked for any indications of any piece of paper, but there wasn't any.

I dug deeper into the card pocket, and felt my fingertips graze a small, thin piece of rough paper. Aha! Evidence! Finally!

Except, when I took it out and examined it, it wasn't evidence.

It was a picture of a happy family, the perfect family, the father had his arms around the woman and the boy, who both looked startlingly alike. Both of them had the most amazing green, lively eyes. They had bronze hair that shined in the light, they had the same nose, same lips, same everything. Then the man, he looked like the usual father figure, strong looking, tough, dark eyes. The boy and the father looked nothing alike, and I began to doubt they were family.

That's when it hit me that this family wasn't just any other ordinary family, it was _Edward's _family.

Oh jeez, look at them. They looked absolutely perfect. So what had happened that made Edward like this?

There was only one way to know, and I turned back, expecting Edward to be awake like all of those scenes in the movies, except he wasn't. Guess those movies were utterly mistaken.

So I sighed and sat down in his spare chair, and began to wait . . .

EPOV

The strawberries were overbearingly beautiful, they smelled of heaven itself, wrapping me in it's embrace, flooding me with the absolutely wondrous scent that cleared some of the dark clouds in my system. And the brown eyes . . . impossible to describe. In them, I could see the person's soul within them. The eyes were of a rich, milk chocolate brown, seeming to warm up my entire being.

Don't ask me why I'm dreaming of eyes and strawberries. I've been known to be random in my dreams. I even dreamed of riding a horse once.

My focus was solely on the dream, particularly the eyes. I loved the eyes, it was going to be my favorite color now, I swear it will be. I sighed happily, not willing to be awaken from my current state of mind.

I've not been given the luxury of that, unfortunately.

My eyelids fluttered to see Emmett seated to my right, his light blue eyes filled with questions that I couldn't read. I was good at reading people, but seeing Emmett's expression was something I've never ever seen. It freaked me out a little, no one's ever looked at me that way before. I cleared my throat, thanking the deities available that I was starting to feel better after that dream.

I should dream more, if I wasn't busy getting hideous nightmares.

"Em. What're you doing here?" I asked, curious.

"I . . . Edward? What's this?" he asked me, turning my question back at me.

He waved a familiar, passport sized picture. I felt my eyes widened. I kept my mouth shut though, too surprised to from the standard, 'where d'you get that?' question. My hands were tightly clenched, my toes were curled, my stomach rolling over itself. Oh God, what the hell has gotten into me?

"I found it when I was looking for some clothes for you." he admitted sheepishly. His face was downcast as he troubled over the picture. This was the moment. The huge moment I've been waiting forever.

But my stupid mouth wouldn't open.

Damn it.

He looked back at my pained expression, judging my reaction. Keeping his gaze on me, he slowly moved over to where my wallet lay, gently placing back the picture. I felt thankful for it, seeing as he didn't want to invade the Forbidden part of me that no one ever dared to cross before. This was the different Edward that everyone has yet to see, and I thanked my lucky stars that Emmett was that much faithful in me.

Emmett turned to walk out of the room.

"Wait!" I croaked out.

He turned back.

I took a deep breath. The moment of anticipation filling the air, choking me, flooding my lungs with the tense silence.

"Sit, will you? It might take a while . . ." I whispered, turning my face away from him.

"Erm. Sure?" his reply came out as a question and I heard the chair beside my bed creak in protest from Emmett's massive stance.

Another breath.

And here we go . . .

"Em, when I was younger, I used to have a family. My last name was Masen, my mother's name was Elizabeth, and my . . . my father's was Edward Senior," I turned my head so that I could look into his eyes,"We used to be the type of family that you'd see going for walks in the park and laughing at each other. We were the perfect family . . . until . . . until . . ."

I couldn't complete my sentence.

"Until?" he gently probed, unsure whether or not to step into uncharted boundaries. I kept my gaze on him, this was crucial. He needed to know this, it was the least I could do for him, after all these years of being brothers. He deserved this as much as he deserved being in this family. I cleared my throat and started once more. "Until my mother died."

Em's mouth fell open.

"WHAT?" he shouted, eyes as big as plates. I nodded solemnly to show that I was not kidding. He gulped and leaned in, indicating for me to continue. "She died of leukemia, and my father and I were left alone in the world, me without my mother, the only woman to ever hold significance in my life back then. My father was lonely without his lover, his wife, best friend and all those other things they say about the love of their existence.

"So, he turned to alcohol in an effort to escape his grief. I was young, about to turn six. I didn't know it was wrong for your father to wake up at one in the afternoon, head out in the same clothes he's been wearing for the past three days, and return home looking drowsy and dead, reeking of beer. I remember the first night he . . . he began to hit me-" I was cut off by Emmett's shocked gasp.

"He what?" he shouted, horror written in his face.

"Let me continue, Em. This will never finish with your interruptions." I forced a grin, though it probably ended looking like a sick smile.

He sighed and stared at me expectantly.

(Insert another deep breath here.)

"He was drunk, didn't know what he was doing. His mind was full of alcohol, he couldn't think properly and I probably irritating. I kept telling him to stop all of his nonsense and get his butt in the right position. He got pissed and eventually turned to physical abuse to keep my mouth shut. It began to turn in an indulgence, though. Each bruise that formed on my skin back then was like a trophy for him. He loved to hear my crying for my mother, begging her to save me.

"She was never there. I just couldn't accept the fact that I didn't have a mother. So it continued for a year, until I turned seven years. The neighbors never wanted to ask too many questions, frightened of interfering with another person's business. So no one found out what was going on in the Masen household, like what they used to call my house.

"The final night, and the one memory that's been branded into my mind forever, etching into . . . into my nightmares. The last night I saw my father was when unlike all those other nights. That night, I was doing some drawings, you know, some mindless doodle. I remember that I drew three stickmans. One was a woman, the other was an adult guy, and the final one was a boy. My father must have caught sight of it when he walked through the door. It didn't piss him off though, instead, he looked past me to my mother's picture.

"Then he grew mad and started to hit me, as per usual. Then it got violent, he began calling me names, the most particular one that he used and the one that I absolutely loathe is 'bastard.' It killed me to hear Alice call me that. She shot me down with just one word. You should tell Jasper how proud he should be of his girlfriend . . .

"Anyway, he broke a beer bottle that was stupidly lying around and - " I heard Emmett's intake of breath, bringing me back to reality, reminding me that I was not that little boy no more. I myself breathed in more air before continuing, "He smashed it on my head first," I pointed to the right part of my head, where, beneath all those bronze curls, lay a scar, "Then he began to stab me endlessly. I didn't know how long it was going to be before he stopped, so I tried to distract myself, thinking of my mother, imagining her warmth . . .

"When it was over, he flung me out the backdoor. He made me choose between staying with a monster like him, and leaving my only other family alone for good. I chose the second option.

"I was seconds away from death when Esme and Carlisle and their good dog found me lying face down in their backyard, some thirteen miles or so away from my house. Carlisle brought me to the hospital, and when I was able to speak, they asked me about who I was. I refused to tell them, only allowing them to know my name, minus the Masen part.

"So we've come to a full circle." I concluded, gauging Emmett's reactions.

He wasn't taking it well, and doubt was clearly written on his face. I sighed and lifted the hem of my shirt a little, giving light to the scars that covered my stomach. It took a lot of effort to make them less visible, but luckily they were still there. There was no denying Emmett's look of utter horror and disbelief. My brother looked like he was staring at a crime scene, where the victim was lying on his back, terribly massacred.

That was how my scars looked like, a contorted massacre without all the blood. In time, they'd turned into white lines that raised a little over the rest of my skin, but if you looked closely, you could see the glass marking themselves on my skin, punctuating it.

All I can say is, OW.

Emmett's gaze on my torso was so completely terrified that I shied away from him.

There was another thing I needed to tell him.

"Em?" I called.

"Yeah?" he answered, focusing his eyes on mine.

"I'm sorry. For everything."

BPOV

I traced the DVDs that was standing up neatly on the DVD holder. There weren't much of them, and most of them I'd already seen. Nevertheless, I needed to find something more or less enough to distract me from Edward-fever prone-Cullen. Ever since that incident, I've been really, really weirded out. It isn't everyday that you accompany a sick boy to the sick bay.

In the first place, what was _wrong _that I'd totally and completely worried for him. It's always been a trait of mine, worrying for other people. I couldn't help but bite my lip in anxiety and wonder he was like.

My fingers stopped on a particular DVD: _The Day The Earth Stood Still. _Hmm . . . then my eyes caught another title: _Hancock. _Will Smith or Keanu Reeves? This was getting difficult. I bit my lip harder and grabbed _The Day The Earth Stood Still. _Sorry, Will, but nothing beats Keanu in a suit. Yum.

I settled down in the sofa, waiting for the DVD player to load the movie, pulling the laptop towards me, deciding to check my e-mail.

Leah was right. I had more than a hundred new e-mails in the past hour alone, and I freaked out by how much mail I had to go through and reply. Ugh, whoever created popular people suck, seriously. I mean, look at the consequences! My fingers will never work by the end of this replying-to sessions. I scrolled down the list of unread e-mails, going straight to the bottom.

My sharp eyes caught another thing: An e-mail from Rachel, Jake's nerd of a sister.

_Bella, _it read,

_How dare you escape? You think you're going to get away from all of the accusations just by moving places? Well fuck you. You don't know what it feels like to lose a crucial member of your family. You don't know how it feels like to lose your brother over something stupid like a crazy competition held by the girl he was in love with. You don't know how his eyes would brightened whenever he laughed, or how he made a joke turned bad into a good one. You'll never know how it feels like to love, because you treated it like it was a piece of shit. I hope you'll never find love, or if you do, I wish the dumbass you'll be dating screws up big time and crush you like a bug. Because only in that way, will you how Jacob would feel whenever he saw you with another guy. _

_Once again, I vehemently hope your life will suck, like it did for my brother._

_Rachel Black_

My heart by then was crushed and I knew it was too late. I closed my eyes as the movie began, and simply bawled my eyes out. Memories of Jacob's face days before I created the stupid, stupid competition filled my vision, blinding me. Cold traveled up and down my spine, I shivered violently. My heart was breaking, shattering, my willpower to forget slipping away.

I was going to have a shitty night after all.

An image of Edward Cullen's feverish face slipped in my expansive mind. I wondered why on hell it was there, and dismissed it, allowing myself to cry even more.I shouldn't give a damn about Edward. It was injustice to Jacob, I was betraying the boy who died for me by even looking at another boy. I should not have taken Edward to the nurse, I should not have touched his burning forehead, trying to find out what his temperature was.

I should not be wishing for Edward Cullen to offer me some kind words of encouragement.

That's when I decided to leave Edward the heck alone. I didn't even know him, he doesn't know me. It was better this way, no one will get hurt because of me. I won't let Jake's death go to waste. I will not.

Ugh.

Keanu was in his immaculate suit now. I got up to grab a tissue and wiped my eyes, feeling the tissue absorb the liquid. I sniffled a little, but I was fine, for now. I paused the movie, shoved the laptop off my lap, and walked over to the kitchen, where I was hell bent on creating some great stroganoff.

Charlie arrived not much later, hanging up his gun belt and sitting down on the table, watching me cook his mother's dish. I laughed a little at his bewilderment. Charlie kept quiet, always the silent man, salivating from the aroma of the sauce and seasonings that filled the kitchen, enveloping in that warm, delicious, heart-melting smell. At the finished product, I tasted it, surprised to taste an explosion of flavors.

Damn, I _can _cook!

Another trait newly found for me.

I wonder, if Jake knows that I can cook, would he have wanted to taste my food?

I placed the food I'd cooked in front of Charlie, watching his expression as he took a hesitant first spoonful. His eyes widened in delight as the flavors rolled in his mouth. He closed his chocolate brown eyes, trying to capture the taste, imprinting it in his mind. Then his eyes opened once again. He gave me the universal thumbs up sign to show that he approved. I grinned slightly and sat down to eat as well.

Dinner was quiet, as he and I discussed of the weather, my first day of school and his work. He admitted that it wasn't easy being a small town cop, the kids were usually more wilder than he ever thought they could be. I edited my first day of school story, making sure not to spill anything about Edward Cullen, to protect myself from thinking about him, and to protect my poor father for any future heart attacks.

When we were done, the dishes dry and clean, I went back to the living room and pressed 'play' on the remote. The movie went on, summiting to a magnificent climax, then going down in a lovely ending.

All in all, the movie was nice. I appreciated it.

Alas, it was time for bedtime, and as I laid in my bed, thinking of nothing but sweet dreams, Edward Cullen popped back into my mind. Almost roughly, I shoved him out of my mind, forcing him into a corner and banishing him from mind, hoping in vain that he would not ever come back. The least he could do was to leave me alone after all that I've been through. I bet he had nothing to hide.

Like I care, though.

So I sighed, switched on my bedside light, grabbed _Sense and Sensibility _from my shoebox of books and began to read . . .

I fell asleep that night, finally vanishing Edward Cullen away from my mind.

The night was calm in Edward Cullen's bedroom. His brother had gone down hours ago, allowing him to rest. The moonlight showered Edward Cullen's young but sad face with such brightness, it was shocking.

Beside him, his glass of water suddenly fell, and shattered.

Unbeknownst to him, someone else on the other side of Forks was subconsciously thinking of him, though her mind was working to an overdrive fruitlessly to banish him from her mind.


	4. A Mixture Of Sweet and Sour

_**Author's Note: Hello, hello sweeties! Thanks to booklover311 for reviewing Fever and Movies! I hoped you loved that chapter 'cause I know I did! ^^ I couldn't help but make Emmett the first to know about Edward's secret, since they were supposed to be brothers for a long time. I have to admit, Fever and Movies was one the best chapters I ever made, including the others from my other stories. And I apologize for the uber late update. Busy, busy, busy! Aw, crap. I'm babbling. Sorry! **_

_**On to the new chapter! Grab some munchkin, plop down a sofa, and ENJOY! ^^,, **_

**_~S_**

**_P.S. I know there's loads of people reading this, so where are you guys? Review please! :)_**

**_Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to a brilliant author named Stephenie Meyer. (Hey, it's getting easier to admit!) _**

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><p><span>EPOV<span>

For Emmett and me, the last four days was excruciating. Why? Let me list to you all the things we had to go through:

1) My fever peaked higher in the next day, freaking Emmett out because he thought that telling him the truth resulted in me getting sicker.  
>2) He didn't recruit Esme's help.<br>3) He was mad at both Carlisle and Esme, because they didn't seem to care for me.  
>4) We argued about it.<br>5) We argued some more.  
>6)I fainted a few minutes into the debate.<br>7) We resolved it, and we agreed on a small truce.  
>8)After another two days, my fever died down.<p>

Sigh . . .

"Edward, you up?" Emmett whispered through my door. "Come on in, Em." I called back, shoving my legs into a pair of jeans. Seriously, I was thankful that I could change my clothes myself. Emmett teased me nonstop about it whenever he got the chance, which was practically every time. The first few times were funny, the rest? Forget it.

Emmett inched his way round the door, peeking in as he did so. He breathed a sigh of relief to see me in clothes. "Hey. Mom's made us breakfast. Eggs and bacon? You up for it?"

I shuddered.

"Hell no. I've just recovered, I'm not willing to fall sick almost immediately, even if it's at Esme's expense." I replied, grinning when he laughed,"Yeah, figured that much. So I went over to town and bought you some decent food. You know, healthy gourmet burgers that aren't really healthy but the girls in our town still fall for it and of course, how can I forget your coffee?" He held up up a cup and I lunged at it.

"Gimme that!" I demanded and snatched the cup away from his outstretched arms. Emmett's been overly nice to me in the past few days. Ever since the confession, I couldn't help but feel grateful to him that he understood though. He also became more observant and less talkative, the traits that marked him for who he was. In the downside of my confession to him, he was no longer the same Emmett everyone around me loved.

For example, Rosalie and Emmett was having a massive row two nights ago. She was accusing him of being manipulated by me and he totally lashed back, something that Emmett _never _does. What was more troubling was the fact that Emmett began to shut himself out from all family activities, like I always did, and begun to hang out with me more, learning more and more things about me he never knew existed.

At least, that was what he said.

And since I've left exactly another six months in this family before I turn into an official adult and leave them all for good, I've got no choice but stick with the only family member that I truly trusted.

"Um, hello? Earth to Edward? You there?" he called out, puzzlement evident in his eyes. "Sorry, sorry. Yeah, I am, actually." I laughed and shrugged on my jacket. Emmett's eyebrows shot up. "Lemme guess, you're gonna go to a party, aren't you?"

"No, actually, I'm heading out to buy some newspapers. To um, find some available jobs that I can - what?" I asked as Emmett gave me a really, really shocked look that sent me stopping in my tracks. Why? Was there a serial killer behind me? Was there a kidnapper pointing his gun at me? Holy shit, I _do _need the newspapers. Emmett's mouth seemed to be scraping the floor and his eyes had gone to be as big as saucers.

Finally, he managed to say,"You're kidding me?"

"Huh?" I questioned, confused, and glanced behind my back. There was nothing though, and I could suddenly breathe so much more easier. Emmett, on the other hand, continued on,"Um . . . you're serious about getting a job? But why? Dad and Mom have enough money to support us all!"

Add to the list of the troubles I've been through in the last four days(see above): I haven't revealed to Em about Carlisle and Esme's intention to disown me and chuck me out of their house. Damn. I couldn't afford Emmett to be mad at them because of me. It was my fault that I didn't tell them the truth and I owed so much more to them than their very own golden boy child to want to leave the house alongside his deceiving brother.

Quick, Edward, quick! Make an excuse now! Hurry up!

"Um . . . Er . . . I . . . " Damn this! "I just wanted a job, you know? Make something out of a nothing? You get what I mean?" Crap, the words were rolling in too fast. Thankfully, Emmett didn't notice, as his mouth fell impossibly wider, forcing me to give him another tight grin. "Wow. If only the rest of them could see you now, Edward. Surely they'll be shocked!" he breathed, eyeing me anxiously.

"Uh. Yeah." I nodded and moved past him to walk down the stairs.

Only to be greeted by Rosalie.

If I had a chance to list down all the expletives I've used in this moment here, this story would be rated M. I'm not kidding.

"Hey, Rosa -" I began, but got cut off by Emmett's sharp-tongued fiancee.

"I know what you're doing." she warned. "Huh?" I managed, not quite on the same wavelength with her.

"Don't pretend you're like a little angel. 'Cause you're a freaking demon, whatever you do. Stop talking to Emmett as if he matters to you, because you'll hurt him when you return to your old self. Get your act together dude and make up your mind. Seriously. You're a little piece of shit, and Alice was right to call you a basta-"

"ROSALIE!" Emmett interrupted and I started. Whirling around, my eyes widened to see Emmett shoving me behind me and throwing his arms in the air. "Don't you dare, don't you _dare _call Edward that! What do you know about Edward, huh? Everything we know about him is the total opposite! Maybe if you've tried to actually sit down and have a _decent _conversation with him, maybe you'll find out his damn secret! Maybe you'll find out that his mother died of leukemia, that his father began to abuse him when he was at the age of six, that HE WAS JUST A SECOND AWAY FROM DEATH WHEN CARLISLE AND ESME FOUND HIM LYING AT THEIR BACKYARD THIR-FREAKING-TEEN MILES AWAY FROM HIS BLOODY HOUSEHOLD!" he yelled the last bit off, and I felt my mouth touching the carpet.

Shit. _Shit!_

Damn Emmett! Oh crap, crap, crap!

(Use your vocabulary to fill in this expletive friendly space.)

"Emmett! Ssh!" I hushed him, clamping my hand over his mouth and shot him down with a look of death. He looked absolutely horrified. "Damn!" he cursed before continuing, "Edward, I'm so sorry! I'm so freaking sor-" I cut him off. " 'Damn' is a complete understatement, trust me." I gave him a tight smile and took a risk to glance at Rosalie's expression.

Disbelief. That's what's on her face right now.

"What . . . but . . . Carlisle said . . . Esme . . . Oh jeez." she stuttered and I gave her tense, hesitant smile. She didn't reciprocate it, staring at my body, searching for signs. Sighing, I twisted my shirt a little to reveal one of my hidden scars, which I alibied as getting involved in a gang fight. Of course, they took it lightly, not really believing, though it was definitely feasible.

I let go of my shirt and looked up to meet her gaze full on.

RPOV

There's no way to describe the tension in the room. It's as if you can cut it with a knife or something. It's disorienting. Moreover, there was a completely and utterly 'holy-f*king-shit' type of shock the paralyses you.

I can't move, I can barely breathe, and my head is a little woozy from all the new information I was receiving. I couldn't think much besides the major revelation repeating itself in my head: EDWARD WAS ABUSED.

Was that the reason why he distanced himself so much? Was that the reason why he called Mom and Dad Carlisle and Esme? Was he so scared of attaching himself too much to this family because he fears that history will repeat itself?

The questions went around and around my head, fluttering like little butterflies, but with no answers. I _had _to say something. I _have to._

Oh god, he's looking at me. _They're _looking. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. I closed it, and tried again, this time with more success. "Why doesn't Mom and Dad know?"

Edward gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down his sleek throat. Then he gave me another super tight smile and shrugged,"I dunno? Why didn't you tell Carlisle and Esme about your engagement to Emmett?"

Good point.

"Um . . . why did you keep it a secret?"

Another long bout of silence, then Edward sighed.

"Rose," he began gently,"I didn't want anyone to know about my . . . past. I didn't want anyone to know I was Edward Masen, part of the dysfunctional Masen family. I didn't want to flaunt the fact that I had an . . . an . . . abusive father. Do you wanna know another secret, though? Emmett doesn't know this secret, either. Come in, this might take awhile."

I took a step into Edward's room and was struck by how immaculate it was, unlike my room with Emmett. Emmett, who I finally understood for sticking close to Edward. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I looked up into his sky blue eyes, seeing encouragement and complete trust in them. He tugged me down to sit on Edward's bed as if it was his, and Edward sat on the other side of me.

"The truth is . . . I still love my father."

Alright, everybody as one now: "WHAT?"

"Yeah, I know right? It's insane, it's stupid, it's naive, but he's the only family I've left in the world, my _real _family, that is. I love you guys to bits, but my father . . . Every time I think of him, I see the man he used to be, and that man was the best father I've ever had. He surpasses anyone, even Carlisle, in my opinion. If you had seen him before Momma's death, you would understand how difficult it is for me to hate him. The thing is, you can't, and you'll never be able to." he whispered out the last part, his nose pricking.

This clued me in.

Of all the things I never expected to happen in my whole life, my hug topped it. He was warm and lean against my frame, my arms instinctively wrapped around him, glancing at Emmett's warm expression before burrowing my face in his heated, muscular chest. This was the first time I was hugging him, and it felt nice, because this actually felt right. I guess I've lived without it for too long.

"Thanks." he sniffled and leaned into my embrace.

"Group hug!" Emmett yelled out and draped one of his arms around my hip while the other wound it's way around Edward's shoulders. They broke out laughing and I finally heard Edward laugh a real laugh. Hearing the twinkle of musical music coming from him, it made me want to laugh alongside him. This was my brother, and I was finally getting to know him.

If I'd known Edward was going through all this kind of shit for his whole life, I would have given him a free hug every single minute.

We tumbled onto the bed, laughing, as we crashed onto Emmett's weight-lifter like body. "Oomf!" breath whooshed out his lungs and I giggled at him. Edward laughed harder, wiping at his eyes.

Through the open door, I heard footsteps. Then I caught Jasper's eyes, which widened in disbelief as he caught the three of us in the group hug, his clenched hands turning loose. His mouth hanged open. "What in the world . . ." he mumbled.

We sat up, resulting to us landing on top of each other. I caught Emmett and Edward's eye, then burst out laughing, Edward laughing the loudest. I looked back at Jasper's expression only to laugh harder.

"What's going on here?" a stern voice demanded, and I felt whiplash.

Dad. And Mom.

A huge uproar of indignation suddenly blasted from me and I cried out hotly,"Nothing, _Mom, Dad, _we're just having some goodhearted sibling fun. Why, is it illegal to joke around and laugh as if the world is going to end? I bet not, so please, leave us be. I would definitely love it if the whole lot of you would-"

"Rose. That's enough." It's Edward, and his face is slightly red with chagrin. "Forgive us, Carlisle, Esme, if you would prefer Rosalie and Emmett to be present for dinner, I would understand. I guess I got too carried away. Go, Rose, Em, they probably want to eat breakfast with you guys. Enjoy, okay? I'm heading out for awhile."

"No. I'm coming with you." Emmett interjected, looking at me for support. And guess what? I gave it to him unconditionally. Yeah, after Edward's proclamation, I'm a whole different person.

Another thing: I am so loving it. I am so loving getting to know the real Edward.

"Yeah, me too. I've already eaten anyway. Wherever Edward and Emmett goes, I'm coming with them." I breathed out, Mom and Dad's mouths going slack, like how Jasper's was a little while back. Edward stared intensely at us, and for a moment, I understood why all those girls fell in love with him. Then he zipped his leather jacket up, shot an apologizing look at Mom and Dad, before saying,"Hurry up, then."

He gave us a lopsided smile, one that made my heart go out for him, and turned for the door.

EPOV

There are many things in life that suck, and finding a freaking job is one of them.

It's just so difficult.

So here I am, at the local cafeteria sipping some frappucino with Rosalie and Emmett, leafing through the newspapers and looking for the jobs available for an inexperienced, amateur, arrogant, stubborn seventeen and a half year old. I've tried out for three part-time jobs so far, a cashier in Thriftway, the local supermarket, a shop assistant in the Newton's outdoor accessories shop, and a freaking janitor for my high school.

Guess what they told me? 'Oh, we will give you a ring to inform you if you manage to get the job, alright?'

Translated: You didn't get the job, so suck it.

Screw me.

I guess the sucky thing is the fact that I seemed to be getting thrown out at every job I applied for. Em and Rose tried to cheer me up by treating me to coffee, but it isn't enough to bring me back from my despair. I've left very little time to get a stable job, graduate, and get into a uni with a scholarship. I _have _to get that scholarship, even if it means to cut half my body and give it to whoever needs it.

Okay, um, scratch that. I can't work with only half my body, and chicks will run away from me. Not such a good idea, Masen.

I sighed for the seventy eighth time in the whole day. And it was only one thirty in the afternoon. I leaned back against my chair, reading the newspapers over and over again, looking for any opening.

At the background, Em and Rose bickered.

I was getting bored.

Bored . . . bored? No, that was just an advertisement. Bored . . . bored . . . BORED!

"AHA!" I yelled, instantly sitting upright. Beside me, Emmett spilled his coffee on the front of his shirt and Rosalie gave a little scream. Then they both shoved me in unison. "Edward! What the hell is your prob, dude? Seen a pretty girl?" Emmett cried out, reaching over to grab a napkin to wipe off some of the stain. Rose giggled,"Well, that stain makes you look sexy."

"It does?"

"Yeah, and-"

"Hey, hey! Keep my ears innocent!" I laughed, as Emmett scoffed, "As if. Bet you get awesome _sounds of the night _every time you hook up with a girl."

Still laughing, I looked down to read the little job advertisement.

_Hey, you there! _it read, _are you a musician? Or a wanna-be? Come test out at the Lodge! Be it, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, the keyboards, or simply the piano. _

The piano, the piano, the piano, the piano. God, the thought was repeating itself in my spacious mind. It's been a long time since I played the piano. I continued to read.

_So here's your chance to play it with an audience! Part-time or full time slots available. As long as you know how to play, you're welcome! _

Oh . . . I don't know. It's been years since I last touched the piano, and I've been thinking of playing it once again once I left Carlisle and Esme's family.

Do I go for it? Do I not?

I mean . . . what's there to lose right?

"Hey, Em, Rose, why don't the two of you head home first? Um, I just really wanted to be alone for a little. Do you mind?" I asked them hesitantly. They looked at each other before turning around and, in unison, "Yeah, sure, go ahead. We don't mind."

I gave them an awesome smile.

As we headed off towards our separate directions, I suddenly felt as though I was facing a whole crowd of people in a huge stage without knowing what to do. My stomach was flipping over itself, my hands were twisted in knots, in spite of how impossible that sounded like. Also, I was sweating like crazy, my palms were so slick, it freaked me out.

Walking into the little restaurant that was the place where I might soon be working at, I marveled at how posh it looked like. It was sophisticated, sleek and amazingly elegant. It took my breath away and you know how rare that kind of stuff happens. I felt so damned under-dressed. I mean, look at me. I was wearing baggy jeans with a printed tee that said: THE YUMMY RETURNS. And the worst part? I was wearing a black leather jacket that did _not _go well with the atmosphere here.

I was doomed.

I whirled around, about to exit, when someone called out, "Wait!"

I turned. A man, roughly around thirty, stared at me in anxiety, almost frightened. His eyes blinked slowly, as if he couldn't comprehend that I was standing in front of him. He gulped and I could hear the flow of saliva that he'd gulped down. Ew.

Other than that, the man looked extremely fit. He looked like he was working out, and he had great looks. Call me conceited, but I think I look slightly better than him. I mean, I've just recovered from the fever and -

"Um, can I ask you a question?" he asked.

Huh?

"Er . . . yeah?" I said, uncertain.

"Are you . . . are you here for the job of part-time instrument player?" he asked nervously, looking everywhere but my eyes. I started. Was he a mind reader? Holy crud . . .

"Um, actually, yeah." I breathed out, following his lead and looked down to admire my shoes. "Oh thank god!" he cried out. When I looked up, he looked at me like I was his savior. He even had tears in his eyes! "I'm sorry, but I was about to go crazy with the nerves. I thought nobody was going to come! My name's Peter, by the way. Welcome to the Lodge! So, what can I do for you? What kind of -" he was cut off by a woman walking out the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dirty apron.

"Pete, stop disturbing the poor boy. Look, he looks as if he's watching a scary movie!" she paused to smile at the man, before turning to me, "Well, I'm very sorry for my husband's rudeness. But really, we've been waiting the whole day for someone to come and try out for the job we posted on the papers. So, what _can _you play?"

Shit.

"Uh . . . the piano?" I told her, dumbly. She smiled at me, nodding, "Perfect." Then she directed me to the grand piano, which I didn't notice til now. It wasn't exactly perfect, since it looked almost too-perfect, but it was a pretty darned good piano. I could see myself playing in that thing. Sitting down on the bench, memories flooded my mind, and I recalled the lessons my mother would take the time to teach me.

I didn't know why, but the minute I lifted the lift off the piano, I began playing one of Momma's compositions for me. In the background, I heard shocked gasps, and a lot of shuffling and hard breathing. I didn't care though, instead, I played on, swaying along with the music. The music swallowed me into a swirl of notes, creating a dizzying sensation within me.

My fingers, long asleep from the years of running away from the piano, seemed to flawlessly move across the keys with easy precision.

My heart seemed to thump with the beat.

And before I knew it, it was over. I leaned a little on the bench, staring at the piano with longing. I really _wanted _this job. I would _die _for this job. I looked back to look pleadingly at the restaurant owners.

I didn't have to even open my mouth when they blurted out,"You're in."

BPOV

No matter what I could do, Edward-freaking-Cullen still managed to sneak into my thoughts.

Was there no right thing in the world?

As I sat in the kitchen, munching on some chips, I wondered how it was like for him. Did he remember the girl who helped bring him to the Nurse's office? Did he even remember me at all?

Then something caught my eye: a telephone book. By impulse, I grabbed it, sat back down, and searched for the 'C' section. Then I realized something . . .

"BELLA! YOU DUMB-ASS!" I cried at myself, whacking myself on the head several times before getting up and tossing the stupid telephone book away from me. I was supposed to be thrashing away thoughts of _that boy _instead of constantly thinking of him! I took a deep, deep, breath, and began to pace around, thinking of anything but _him. _

Finally, I gave up. I grabbed _Forks Today _from off the counter and began leafing through the papers for anything interesting. There was nothing except the endless announcement of rain, rain and more rain. It's amazing how fast things can alter. One moment you're loving the rain, the next you're dreading it. Maybe I wasn't really cut out to be a water-person. Like Renee said, I wasn't much of a water-baby when I was young. I _hated _it when the water was cold. I'd go on crying and crying til the water was warmed up enough for me.

So then I looked up for any jobs in the Job section. I mean, Charlie isn't exactly rich, and we needed extra money asap if I was to attend a decent college or university. I remember the job I had back at Phoenix, where I had to clean the swimming pools that majority of the population there seemed to have. Instantly, my thoughts flew to Leah, and all my other friends.

God, I miss them.

But I have to let them go.

I sighed, and found a good-enough job. It was a shop assistant in the Newton's Outdoor store, where they sold all kinds of accessories for the backpackers and the campers that came pouring into Forks whenever they were up to go for a hike through the green forests. And they seemed to be paying good, too. I grabbed my windbreaker from the hanger in the hallway and got my keys.

Stepping inside the Newton store, I made sure my head was hanging extra low so that I wouldn't catch any person's eye. I also made sure to keep my voice real quiet, so that I wouldn't distract or disrupt anyone.

It seemed to be working.

It turned out that I got the job, and that I was lucky enough to be able to start the following Monday. I applied for the part-time slot, leaving my Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays free. It also turned out that the pay was great. So, all in all, today was a pretty good day.

However, I had no idea what to do the minute I reached home and had plopped down on my warm, comfortable bed. With a slight dragging of my feet, I made my way to the computer, wondering what to reply to all of those who'd probably sent me e-mails.

It's also been four days since I last read Rachel Black's e-mail. I deleted it after a few days or re=reading it, but the words penetrated deep into my conscience. So, as usual, I made sure there were no e-mails that threatened to break my waterworks first before I began to read the rest of the e-mails. I stretched a little, laughing at some funny bits of Leah and Seth's e-mail, loudly sighing when it came to Paul's, and grew extremely annoyed with Embry's, because he was irritating Seth.

As I opened a new e-mail to start writing, I thought of what to say. Of my new job, perhaps? Of it's good pay? I shook my head, knowing that they would probably close it almost immediately, since it had the potential to bore them to death. Finally, I began typing.

_Dear Leah, Seth, Paul, Embry, Jared, heck, everyone,_

_It feels like it's been years since I last saw you guys. How are you? Are you alright? How's Ms. Jane and Mr. Alec? I bet the Demon Twins From Hell gave you guys loads to do as homework, right? Anyways, I've heard about the inter-class games the school held! Way to go, guys, for winning that gold medal! It's awesome . . . Um, Leah, this part is especially for you. Please make sure you're the only one reading this part, okay? I trust you enough not to show it to the rest of the crew. Thanks.  
>So, just four days ago, I helped a guy named Edward Cullen to go to the Nurse's Office, because during Biology, he very nearly fainted from the high fever he was having. Since then, my mind keeps . . . going back to him, even though I don't want it to. The worst part is, I can't help comparing him to Jacob. I just wish that I can erase all thoughts of THAT BOY away from my mind. I really don't wish to think of him now. So, what's your advice?<br>Please, Lee-Lee, sweetie, help me out here, will ya? _

_XOXO,_

_B_

I sent it to Leah's account, imagining them to be sat around Leah's small computer table, anxiously reading the little e-mail and crying out in protest as Leah shoved them out of the way to read her portion. I sat back, glanced at the clock, and decided that it was time to cook dinner.

Today was lasagna, and I'm glad to say that it was a success.

So I went back to my room, allowing the food to cool down a little, and noticed that there was a new unread message in my computer. It was from Leah, and it was a reply.

_B, _it read_._

_We're all fine, n thanx for d congratz eu gave us. We appreciate it loads! Anyway, abt ur little prob w/ dat Edward Cullen boi, y dun't eu furget abt it? Or better yet, cum bck here to Phoenix, and den u'll totally furget abt him! Trust me, all eu gotta do is cum bck to us! Cuz we so totally miss eu! Like, crazy loads! _

_XOXO,_

_Lee-Lee_

What? WHAT?

No. NO! There was no freaking way I was ever going to go back to Phoenix, where the Black's probably still resided. And what's more, I didn't need anymore heartache now, I needed something better than that. Something to keep my mind from the guilt that was constantly eating at me because of Jake's death. Didn't they understand? I thought they did, I thought they _knew. _

Apparently, they must have been lying in my freaking face.

Well, screw them! Screw them all!

Angrily, I deleted the e-mail, and flopped onto my bed.

It was there when I started to bawl my eyes out, partly because I _still _couldn't get Edward Cullen off my mind, and majorly because of the betrayal I felt of my so-called 'friends.' It hurt to think that they were lying to me, in an effort to _not _keep me mad at them, when it was partly their fault that Jacob Black died.

Yes, you heard right, as I yelled 'stop' to Jake's tormentor, Leah and the rest of them cheered him on. Now, where does that put them, might I ask?

The tears were flowing nonstop, and I couldn't help but feel my cheeks grow hotter.

Life sucks. This is why we're in it.


	5. For The First Time

**_Author's Note: Thank you, thank you, thank you to booklover311 and AliceRosalieBellaCullen 1234 for the review on the previous chappie! And also to lottie becker , who I accidentally left out! I'm so, so very sorry! And, just to make things clear, Peter from the Lodge is actually the same Peter from Twilight, and, of course, his wife's Charlotte. Also, I'm not trying to make Carlisle and Esme look really evil, they're just really confused about Edward, since they have no idea what to make of Edward. Well then, I won't delay you any further! Lastly, if you think the story is nice, hit the review button, okay? =)_**

**_So find a pillow, some snacks, and enjoy!_**

**_~Serene._**

**_Disclaimer: Twilight, and all its characters, very, very sadly does NOT belong to me. ='( It belongs to Stephenie Meyer, who is also the creator of the devastatingly handsome Edward Cullen. _**

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

Well, I have to admit, this is a little different.

As I sat in the car, waiting for Emmett and Rosalie to get their lazy butts out of their respective beds, I couldn't help but smile at the thought of my new job. Tuesday was my official starting day, but I was going there today for a check, to get to know the people, and of course, socialize.

To put it simply, I couldn't _wait _to get my hands on that piano. I'd written down some of Momma's composition that I've committed it to my memory. I also wanted to try a little of Mozart and maybe some cover of a song. But for now, I was definitely contented by the compositions my mother made.

I looked up as I heard familiar voices wafting their way through the front door. Jasper and Alice came out first, stopping in their tracks the minute they saw me sitting in the car, waiting. I must say, people nowadays love to do interpretations of a fish's mouth, don't they? Emmett and Rosalie crashed into them, and I heard Emmett's muffled cry. "OI!" he shoved at Jasper, before giving him an annoyed scowl. Rosalie simply flitted around them, heading straight to my car and opening the shotgun seat.

She took one glance at the scene that Emmett, Jasper and Alice was making, sighed, then turned back to me. Reaching over, she gave me a nice, big, hug and I returned it. I gave her smile before tossing her a container that was filled to the brim with cheese omelets and buttered toast. I hoped they weren't soggy, I mean, buttered toast was meant to be crunchy, not soft and hard to chew.

It'll be a crime if I got those wrong.

Emmett entered the car then, inhaled the breakfast that I'd cooked for the both of them, not to mention the rest of the family as well, and snatched the container away from Rose, who was about to take one toast.

"Hey!" she yelled in protest, before smacking him on the arm. "Sorry, babe, can't help myself. You know how much I love food cooked by Mr. Chef himself." he laughed and used the disposable spoon to place some egg on the toast.

After chewing around, he moaned out,"That's sooo good!"

Rose grabbed the container to judge for herself. "It's not just good, Em, it's _perfect." _

They looked at each other before slapping each other high fives and then laughing. "Oh please. You guys are so childish. Whoever does the 'high five' now?" I teased them. Rose stuck out her tongue at me while Em simply shrugged and continued eating. I started the engine, ready to head off to school. I opened the window of my car and called out to Alice and Jasper, "Do you guys want a ride?"

Wow. They looked utterly gobsmacked.

Before they could answer, Carlisle and Esme appeared out of nowhere and took each of them by the shoulders. Giving me a hard look that sent my stomach aflutter, I understood what they meant. I've already taken two of their beloved children. They weren't allowing me to take the other two as well. My stomach quivered, memories of the night when they'd told me they didn't want me anymore repeated itself in my head.

"Edward! Watch out!" Rose cried out, before grabbing the steering wheel and jerking it to the left, narrowly missing the tree that we were supposed to hit. I took control then, and resumed driving smoothly. "God! What the hell did you think you were doing?" she breathed out heavily. Emmett's mouth was ajar, and I apologized to the both of them.

"Um, Edward? Are things between you and Dad and Mom . . . alright?" Emmett asked reluctantly. I swallowed and looked to the front.

I still haven't gotten the nerve to tell them about the disownment.

"What makes you think that things haven't been going swimmingly between us?" I asked him instead. "Well, lately, they've been giving you rather looks of um, _dislike. _And that night before you got sick, I sneaked in to the room where Dad and Mom were talking to you. I couldn't exactly hear what they were saying, but I could tell that it was pretty serious." he confessed, unable to meet my eye in the rearview mirror.

"I . . . uh, well, I'm not sure if this is the right time to tell you about it." I managed, relieved to finally reach school. There was an awkward silence mixed with curious tension. I saw the orange truck once again. It still looked magnificent and strong. I wondered why I never noticed it til now, and what the hell it was doing here. Though it looked real cool with it's big and strong iron fenders, it was simply ugly.

Oh jeez, and it also gave the impression that whoever was driving it was certainly a klutz.

"Whose truck is that?" I asked Emmett, who's been in school far more than I ever was in the days when I was sick. "Isabella Swan, the new girl." he replied, giving a shrug. "Oh." I said. Something was picking itself in my head, but I couldn't place it. My memory was foggy, yet I could remember something . . . something about that girl.

Oh god. She was the one who helped me to the sick bay, wasn't she? I voiced this out to Emmett as we walked towards my class. "Oh, yeah, she is." he'd told me, nodding intelligently when really, he was definitely thinking of the talk we had earlier. Rose walked beside him, playing with her fingers, like how she would do whenever she was worried.

We stopped in front of Mr. Berty's class, and I grabbed them by the arms to whisper in their ears,"Hey, listen. I'll tell you about it after school, but for now, don't worry okay? Enjoy school, eat some lunch, have fun. Promise me that, will ya?"

They looked uncertainly at each other before sighing and then nodding. "Great. Take care you guys." I told them, giving them a grin and gave Emmett a fist bump while hugging Rose, who sniffled a little.

I must say, Mr. Berty's expression was priceless as I walked through the door, clearly _not _late and definitely earlier than any other students. "_Edward?" _he gasped, shocked. Whoa, I needed a camera on me and start taking pictures if this kind of act was going to keep on happening. Heck, I could send it to the local newspapers. They'll be the laughing stock of the town!

_Okay now, Edward, that's just so mean! _the ever-responsible voice in my head reprimanded me, and my eyes slid into slits. I took my seat and noticed that the seat behind me was taken, which, usually, never ever happens.

I glanced back and saw the hoodie freak from last Tuesday. I mean, _Isabella Swan. _I mean, what's up with the hoodies and the head-hang-low act?

It's pissing me off, actually. To pretend to be a loner when obviously you just want some attention. It's the oldest trick in the book, for crying out loud!

Nevertheless, I wasn't that heartless, and I owed the girl some thanks or something. So I whirled around in my seat, seeing as we were the only two students around beside Mr. Berty and his talking clock.

"Good morning." I greeted her, penetrating as much seductiveness as my voice could muster. It's okay to play with her for a little while. Bet she's hiding something beneath those baggy clothing of hers.

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. But then she opened up her mouth and said,"'Morning," in such a quiet but feminine voice. I had to practically review it twice before realizing what she'd just said.

Something was wrong here, people usually said 'morning' in a bright manner, no matter what, and here the girl was, speaking as though it was the end of the world.

I had to create conversation.

"Um, so . . . you're Isabella Swan, right?" Oh jeez, Masen, that's just so inexcusably lame!

"That's right." she whispered in that super quiet way of hers.

"Then . . . that orange truck outside in the parking lot must be yours then." I confirmed, glancing around to make sure we were still the only ones in the room. I wouldn't be caught dead to be seen with the Freak.

A slight swishing of her hood revealed some very beautiful and very soft mahogany curls. I very nearly gasped and restrained myself from wanting to touch those curls of hers. It was _that _irresistible. I was about to make some comment on her hair, but the way she reacted when her hair revealed itself from her hoodie taught me otherwise.

She hurried to stuff those beautiful curls of hers inside her hood, then glanced up at me.

The weirdest thing though? I caught some deep, chocolate brown eyes before she was forced to look down again. By that time however, I was beginning to freak out. Those were the same chocolate brown eyes that I've been dreaming of ever since the fever. And if I were to inhale real deeply, the scent of strawberries that seemed to be wafting from her would definitely be more intoxicating against my lungs.

Something . . . a memory perhaps? Was making it's way to my mind. Then I suddenly remembered the warm arms that held me firmly as I made my way to the Nurse's Office. Those were her arms, weren't they?

Holy crow.

I was definitely going mad.

We didn't have a chance to talk again since students had begun pouring into the class like water in a fast flowing river.

At the end of class, though, I managed to catch up with Isabella. "Hey, wait!" I called out to her. People turned and stared at me like I had the epidemic. She stop, she just kept trudging forward, her feet dragging itself away from me. But the way she held her feet, I knew that that wasn't the normal way she'd walk, partly because it looked awkward but majorly because it was so _fake. _

It's as if . . . as if she's acting.

"Isabella, slow down!" I called out to her, reaching out one of my long arms to get a hold of her shoulder. I managed to touch it briefly, feeling warmth soaking into my fingers as my palm neared her shoulder, before she jerked away from me to a secluded place behind the lockers.

I remember this place. It was the same place where I made out with some girls before.

Suddenly, she whirled around and whispered loudly, _"_First of all, why the hell are you following me? Second of all, do _not _call me Isabella." She didn't look up, keeping her head looking down at my shoes in indignation.

I was stunned. "Er . . . well . . ." Come on, Masen, come _on. _Why the hell are you at a lost for words? I cleared my throat. "I just wanted, well, I wanted to thank you. For bringing me to the Nurse's Office when no one else would. I really, really, appreciate it. Trust me, no one's ever done that kind of stuff to me before, and I doubt that it will ever happen again. So, if you would let me in, can I be your friend?"

Whoa, what the heck did I just say? I must have impulsiveness or something . . .

"My . . . friend?" she asked, astounded. "Um, yeah." I replied, looking down at my shoes as well. "You want to be a friend of _this,_" she said, slightly louder, but still soft somehow, and gestured lazily at her hoodie and jeans. I nodded, but then realized she wasn't able to see that I was nodding, because she still had some fascination with my shoe.

"Yes. I want to be a friend of _that._" I told her earnestly, because, to tell the truth, I _had _to repay her back somehow. And being her friend would certainly make it up to her, seeing as she doesn't even have a single friend here.

"Okay." she breathed, and looked up for the second time in the day. I caught the brown eyes, fixed by it's deep color, and was lost in those ocean deep - ah, shoot, she looked down again. I didn't know what to say, so instead I stuck out my hand and said, "Edward Anthony Mas- Ah, Cullen." I blushed a little at the tiny little slip of my old surname.

She made sure her hand was wrapped firmly between the folds of her jacket before she shook my hand (what the hell?) and whispered, "Hello, Edward Anthony Masah Cullen. I'm Isabella Swan. Call me Bella."

At this, I _had _to laugh. "No, no. My name's just Edward Cullen. No Masah, or anything. Call _me _Edward." I snorted and gave her hand a little shake. Through the fabric of her jacket, I could feel her hand, completely and utterly small. She had amazing fingers, from what I could sense, and I could tell that they very delicate.

She snatched her hand back, rubbed it once, before stuffing it inside her jacket pocket. "Well . . . um . . . it's getting late. I should, yeah, I should go to my next class." she began before stepping aside me to rush towards the Chemistry classroom. After glancing around and making sure no one else saw me and Bella talking, I made my own way towards my next class, which evidently, I'm late for.

* * *

><p><em>Ringgggg!<em>

Oh, thank god! It's the lunch bell, and my stomach's growling so menacingly you'd think it's a hive full of wasps or something. It's scary to think of your stomach in that way, but I couldn't find anything to match my growing starvation.

I half-ran towards the lunchroom before being one of the first few to queue up for today's specialty: New York Deli. Mmm. After paying for it, I found a place to sit down and waited, somewhat impatiently, for Emmett and Rosalie. I have this sort of rule, you see. I won't eat unless someone else has eaten his or hers first bite into their food.

They came, finally, and we ate alongside each other. The both of them agreed with me that the New York Deli that Forks High served was to die for. Even Rosalie, the diet queen, agreed.

About three quarters through my meal, I started to look around the cafeteria to find Bella. Since I was her new friend, I felt obliged to introduce her to Emmett and Rosalie. However, no matter how hard I looked, she was nowhere to be found.

"Hey, who you looking for?" Em asked, his head craning as he searched for whoever I was looking for even though he himself didn't know who it was.

"Bella. The new girl." I told him, eyes almost popping out of my sockets in the effort it took me. "Why?" wonder filled his question, and my mind asked my heart he same thing. Opening my mouth, I told him, "Apparently, I'm her new friend."

"WHAT?" he shouted so loudly that the whole cafeteria turned and stared at us. "Shut up you idiot. Shut up!" I ordered him through his shock. I smacked him on the back of his head and he rubbed the spot gingerly. I told him of how I got to be friends with her and he commented, "Wow. It's impossible, man. Even _I _couldn't get a whole sentence out of her. And then you . . ." he shoot his head in awe.

"How do you do it?" he prompted me suddenly, eyes alight with renewed interest.

"I don't know. Anyway, have you seen her?" I returned to my search, trying to find the dark brown hoodie that I've somehow gotten accustomed to. "Well, she appeared in my Chemistry class, but that was a period before lunch. So I wouldn't know where she is now. Sorry, Edward." he sighed before returning to his food.

"Nah it's okay." I resigned to the fact that I would still see her, since I heard that she was in my Biology class. Rose chose then to open her mouth to say, "Actually, she's also in my AP History class. Um, that was before lunch, and then after that I went to the toilet, where I found her sitting outside. I thought she looked a little . . . I don't know, sick, maybe?"

"Really? Maybe she _is _sick. People don't usually don a freaking over-sized hoodie to school as if it is the latest fashion. Who on the right mind would do that? You know what I think?" I asked them, mouth full of chocolate parfait. They shook their heads, captivated.

"I think she has an ugly face, like Quasimodo in _The Hunchback Of Notre Dame." _I confessed, dropping my voice to an all new low before continuing, "And maybe she has a super ugly voice too, like a buff man's. That's why she's always talking in whispers to cover up her voice."

Em and Rose took one long look at me before opening up their mouths and laughing. "What?" I questioned them, annoyed. "It's nothin'. Oh Jeez - you should have heard yourself just now! You sounded like a girl gossiping, man! That is so not cool!" Emmett guffawed. I stared at him, hoping very much he'd get a locked jaw from all those laughing.

"Whatever." I retorted somewhat calmly and gathered up all my things. "Anyway, I'm off to Bio. See you kids later."

"Yeah, yeah. As if we'd run away." Rose continued to giggle, her hands clutching her stomach in desperation from losing her cool.

I gave them a scoff before running off to Bio, ignoring all the girls as they said hi to me. I never noticed it before, but I started to realize how much I've been abusing my looks. All these girls before me . . . they had something to hold on to. They couldn't see all those other good guys that loomed over their horizon.

All they could see was me, and I used to appreciate that. I appreciated that a lot. So much that I began to use it to help me try and remove all those horrid memories from my past. In the end, it didn't matter. Sex, girls, being a jerk, all those can't even make me _forget _about my past for just a fraction of a second.

_Well, everyone except for Bella, _my conscience reminded me.

It was true, sort of. I felt kind of . . . calm whenever I was with Bella. And that strawberry scent that she always seemed to have? I was beginning to think that was the cause of the sudden decrease in my nightmares. But as plausible as that sounded, it was also impossible. I didn't even know the girl, for crying out loud!

So there I was, the first to enter class.

Sitting down at my usual table, I imagined how different I seemed to be now. I'd always be late for class because I'd either be behind the auditorium, at the parking lot, the outbuildings, behind the lockers etc, making out with some other girl. Then I'd get detention letters _hourly, _but I wouldn't show up for them. Other than that, I would be found in other people's house, partying.

Well, look at me now.

There was a slight shuffling and I heard footsteps from the door. I looked up, expecting the teacher, but got the dark brown hoodie instead.

"Bella!" my mouth seemed to automatically call her name. Wow . . . it sounded oddly . . . _nice _on my tongue. Holy crap.

She looked up, and I saw the chocolate brown eyes once again, before she let her head drop back. She took a seat beside me, since that was where she was supposed to be seated, and greeted me back evenly. "Edward."

"I looked for you." I heard myself saying. Then I wondered why on Earth my body was having really weird impulses.

"You did?" she gasped/whispered. "Yeah. Figured I'd do a little intro on you to my brother and sister." I answered back. "Whoa. I mean, oh. Um, I was . . . at the toilet." Bella confessed.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but she sounded really embarrassed.

"Why? Gotta take care of your menstrual cramps" I joked, nudging her a little. I noticed the warmth that seemed to radiate from her, and began to lean in a little more. "No! Oh god! Ew! You have a dirty mind!" she whispered loudly before smacking the back of my forearm. I pretended that it hurt, when in truth, it felt like the brush of a feather.

Literally.

"Well, I live in a house with three girls. What do you expect from me?" I told her, eyeing her in speculation. "Really. Boy, it must be something when they're PMSing." she wondered, head slightly tilted to the ceiling like she was contemplating the idea. "Yep, it sure is." I laughed. I heard something coming from her . . . her laughter?

Maybe I'm just hearing things.

BPOV

It's kinda weird.

This morning, I woke up, brushed my teeth, went to school. And all of those things I did without knowing Edward Cullen would become my friend. It was almost laughable. I mean, can you imagine? Me? Isabella head-hang-low Swan? Friends with the hottie of the school?

At least, that's what I heard. I may be silent, I may not utter a word in my normal voice, but I can _listen. _And boy do I listen well. Apparently, Edward Cullen has broken 189 girls' hearts out of the whole 235 of the female population. It's shocking, really. I guess, if you viewed him secretly, get to know a little bit of him, you'd realize that he isn't all perfect.

Like, right now for instance. If Edward Cullen was that great, he wouldn't be dozing off in the middle of a teacher's lecture.

But he did have some good points. When he talked . . . it made you want to listen. Maybe a small percentage of it is because he had an _amazing _velvety voice that sounded so smooth and clear that it practically tickled your eardrums. And also, not once did he asked me to look up, unlike most of the students that I've met.

He also had this way of making me feel at ease.

I guess I made a good decision to accept his offer as his friend.

Sighing inside my mind, I gently nudged Edward's right arm, poking it. He grunted slightly. I wouldn't know if he was looking up or not, since my head was still hanging real low, but he did say, "What?"

"I can tell Mr. Banner's gonna ask you a question in about three seconds. One, Two Three -"

"Cullen!" Mr. Banner barked and Edward immediately sat straighter in his seat. "Yeah? I mean, yes?" he mumbled, his ears going slightly red. Mr. Banner blinked back shock, it's as if he couldn't believe Edward was talking to him. He cleared his throat, "Um . . . Er . . . define glucose. In _full _detail."

What? I snickered silently, almost stuffing my fist inside my mouth to keep from laughing. God! That question was as easy as singing the alphabet!

Edward obviously had this in the bag, and he knew it too. "Glucose is a sugar, C 6 H 12 O 6 , having several optically different forms, the common dextrorotatory form , dextroglucose, or d-glucose, occurring in many fruits, animal tissues and fluids,etc., and having a sweetness about one half that of ordinary sugar, and the rare levorotatory form, levoglucose, or l -glucose, not naturally occurring. It's also called starch syrup. A syrup containing dextrose, maltose, and dextrine, obtained by the incomplete hydrolysisof starch." he recited.

Holy crow. What the hell? I felt my mouth pop open in a huge O and Edward smirked at Mr. Banner's gobsmacked expression.

"Well, uh, that was, um, some pretty insightful things you said, Mr. Cullen." he stuttered, and I laughed quietly. From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward giving me a small grin. Then from underneath the table, I gave him a thumbs up. His grin became even wider and I fought back the urge to laugh uncontrollably.

Throughout the remaining minutes of Bio, Mr. Banner began to quiz Edward in several, random questions, all of which he managed to answer in such confidence. They were all correct, since I _knew _they were. I was in AP Bio back in Phoenix. It'll be the death of me if I didn't know what he was saying.

When the bell rang, I gathered my things, ready to head into Gym. I detested Gym because it was the one class where I was forced to do all kind of sports, like I used to do back then. But now . . . just seeing people do it makes me sick. It reminds me of my crime, and who paid dearly for it. I gulped down some heart ache, saving those for later.

I began to walk off to the Gym when I heard someone call out my name. I turned around, and realized it was Edward. "I forgot to ask you, where do you come from?" he quizzed me. I sighed and shook my head. "Don't you know?"

"Nope."

"Oh, well, I come from Earth. If it ain't obvious enough." I snapped. He didn't have to _pretend _that he didn't have a clue where I came from. Besides, who was he to care?

Oh yeah, he was my 'new friend.' Well, shove it.

Edward didn't hear the poison in my tone, instead he threw his head back to bark out a laugh. I knew this because I looked up to examine his reaction. At times like this, I thanked my lucky stars no one could see my face, except for my eyes, which quite frankly, looked pretty normal though, when revealed along with my face, would become infinitely more dazzling.

Or, so I've been told. So it was okay to let him see my eyes. By these way, I could look at his face and judge for myself whether I've chosen the right friend or not.

"That's a good one, I grant you that. But really, which state did you come from?"

"Arizona, Phoenix." I sighed and he gave me another one of his grins. Come to think of it, he looked very handsome whenever he smiled that kind of lopsided smile he was smiling now. My heart gave a little stutter and I nearly slapped myself in front of him.

"Wow. So you must be tan." We were walking to my class now, thank god no one was paying much attention to us. I mean, it wasn't obvious we were talking to each other. Edward had this special way of talking at the side of his mouth, which made it look like he was humming a tune. It looked pretty cool to me.

And I liked it, because it wouldn't draw attention to me.

"Nah. I'm actually part albino." I informed him, tilting my head to the side, recalling Renee's fair skin.

"No way! I'm part albino too! Look," he then proceeded to show me his arm. He was right, his skin was more paler than mine, but it looked better on him, since he had an excuse: he lived in a rain-cursed town for Christ's sake.

"So then we're equal." I laughed quietly, for the _n_th time in the whole day. He laughed with me and people turned to stare at him, probably wondering, _what the hell is this guy doing laughing by himself? _

"Yeah, we are."

We reached the Gym then, and I bade him goodbye. He glanced around before doing a gun gesture with his hand and 'shooting' me in the heart. I found it kind of cute and laughed. My cheeks was starting to ache from all this laughing and smiling silently thing.

Gym was pretty easy. Coach Clapp understood the fact that I had to wear my hoodie at all times even when she didn't know why. So there I was, playing volleyball like the klutz I pretended to be. That's why the other players around me learned to not pass the ball at me at all, even when they had no choice. And it was fine. I didn't mind.

I walked to my truck, which, I'm pretty attached to, and plugged my earphones into my iPod. Shifting through my playlist, I decided to go along with Paramore's Misery Business. It's a pretty good song, quite catchy. As I listened to the angry music filling through my head, my foot tapped along with the beat.

Then, a loud crash against my truck's hood interrupted my focus. I looked up, annoyed, and found Edward Cullen staring at me in earnest. He seemed to be yelling something. I took my earphones out of my ears. "What?" I asked him.

"Finally! I've been calling you for forever, Bella!" he yelled at me, irritated. "Well, sorry! My ears were pretty occupied at that moment!" I retorted hotly, not caring to speak in my normal whisper-like voice. He blinked angrily at me before breathing out. "Alright. Fine. I'm sorry for yelling at you." he whispered, looking around.

"No, it's okay. I'm sorry for not noticing you."

"Well, now that that's done, I have to ask you for your number." he whipped out his cellphone and my heart began to beat faster. Could I give it to him? Will I give it to him? My hand automatically reached to my pocket, where my own cell laid, and took it out. I pondered about it for a few seconds before deciding, _what the heck, _and held out my hand for his cell.

I read my caller ID and was secretly pleased that he typed in _Bella _instead of _Isabella. _I very much preferred my nickname.

I pressed in my number into his cell and held my phone out to him. He did his own caller ID, and I didn't get much of a chance to see what he typed in, but I knew for sure that I was going to check it out later. I slipped my phone back into my pocket just as he waved me goodbye. "I'll see you later, alligator!" he called out, and I laughed at his lameness.

Well, two could play at the game.

"Yeah, see you in a while, crocodile!"


	6. Revelations Can Shake Your World

_**Author's Note: Woots! Super, major thanks to booklover311 and Emoprincess98 for reviewing For the First Time! Wow! I'm practically dancing round the room because I'm so damn happy! Well . . . since I don't have much to say, I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter! If the you think this chapter is awesome, the review button is always open! **_

_**So grab your stuffed toy, switch on the air-con, and enjoy! **_

_**~Serene**_

**_Disclaimer: Twilight so does not belong to me, even though I've prayed to every deity in the whole universe to turn me into Stephenie Meyer, I'm still the same old Serenity. How sad is that? _**

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

Okay, so, technically, I've been friends with Bella for two days now, and I haven't gotten bored.

Neither have I gotten into her pants.

Or latched on to her lips, which, up till now, I still haven't seen.

So, all in all, this has _got _to be a major plus on my personal resume. I mean, come on! Let's hear it for the 'mind over matter' business, people! I'm just glad that I've made at least one friend that wasn't sexist or a bitch or a jerk. I seriously thank my lucky stars that Bella was one of the girls who didn't give a damn about what other people thought of her, and I liked that.

She was just so . . . _Bella. _It was impossible to describe, but being around her was the most fun I've ever had. And none of the student population seemed to notice that I was hanging round Bella more often than I've hung around detention.

Or girls.

Jeez, I was worried I might turn out to be gay. Why? It's 'cause I haven't gotten any since the night with Amber. I mean, girls approached me like always but none of them held any of my interest. I was more intrigued by my conversations with Bella.

Bella and I would talk about practically everything. It's the first time I've ever talked with someone like that. We could go over the weather for one whole hour and not get tired of it. Then the topic would change to our likes and dislikes, which was a long, long list of stuff.

Talking with Bella also meant heavy phone bills but it didn't matter, since I had a great paying job now and several hours to kill.

Today was a Tuesday, and I was due for a Literature test later today. It's still early, about six fifteen, and already I was up cooking breakfast. Carlisle and Esme had spent the entire dinner last night commenting on Esme's 'marvelous, well-seasoned and splendid beef stew'. I'd sort of taken to trying to improve Esme's food, since I pitied my brothers and sisters, and they all thought it was her work.

Well, everyone except for Em and Rose.

Those lovable little idiots. I swear, it took all I had not to punch Em in the face when he nearly spilled that I was the one who made the egg tarts for dessert two nights ago.

And Rose. God, Rose. She almost followed in Emmett's footsteps when she accidentally blurted out, "Gee, Edward, that's one hell of an omelet!" in front of the whole family. Thank god no one took notice but me. I'll wring their necks if I didn't love them so much.

I was just cooling down the chicken pie I took about an hour to create when I checked my schedule for the day. You know the little calender on your phone? The one where you could add in some reminders on the day itself? Yeah, that one.

So, here's my busy schedule today:

-_Work the Lodge today!  
>-Literature Test.<br>_

Ladies and gentlemen, I may have to take back my word. Today wasn't busy at all.

So I fixed breakfast for the whole family, got showered, dressed, and ready to head off to school. Em and Rose got up earlier than they usually did today, which meant that I could get to school and talk to Bella. It's sort of becoming an occupation, talking to Bella. The minute I'd see her walking near me, I just _have _to at least wave or say a quick hello. It was only in classes, mornings and after-schools that I could have a full conversation with her.

Which, in my opinion, made our friendship pretty riveting.

Also, she seemed pretty relaxed and cool around me, unlike those people who wanted to hang around her and catch some of her 'drift.'

"Alright, Edward. Spill." Em demanded as he got inside the car.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"What the hell are you, Dad, and Mom keeping from the rest of us?" he breathed out angrily. His eyes were narrowed rather angrily in the rearview mirror. There's also one little thing you should know: I totally forgot about my promise to tell them about my disownment.

"Oh right. That." I muttered pathetically. "Yes. _That." _he growled.

I stopped the car; it was still early. "Are you sure you can handle the truth?" I asked him seriously, forcing my gaze on him. My Volvo suddenly felt like a hundred degrees hotter. "Hey, hey. Knock it off, knock it off." Rose muttered, glancing at me and Emmett's stare down.

"Of course. You know me, I'm tough." Em scoffed.

_Yeah, but you probably won't be after I'm done telling you about the fact that in a few months, I'm no longer your legal brother, _the sad part of me retorted silently. "Em, Rose . . . " I trailed off, not knowing what could happen.

There was a tense expectation.

I took a deep breath before confessing, "Carlisle and Esme are going to disown me."

Silence enveloped the whole car, forcing me to look at their stricken eyes. My stomach clenched awfully and I thought that I might sick. The air around me felt heavy, my lungs felt as though I couldn't breathe. Even though I was feeling all those awful stuff, I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I couldn't smile though, and I could hardly manage to look them directly in the eyes for at least three seconds.

In my brief glances, both Em and Rose shared a horror filled mask. I could feel their shock as though it was my own. This was getting too much. They have to tell me something, otherwise I'll freak out.

"Say . . . say something?" I said rather quietly, looking down at the leather seat of my car.

The first one to open her mouth was Rosalie. "Edward . . . since when did they tell you this?"

I sighed, "Ever since the night I slept with Amber. They told me they'd already made their decision, and that they wouldn't step away from it. That's why they're cold to me, because I've always never shown them my appreciation. This is all my fault, you know. Em? You asked me why I needed that job? Well, it's because the minute they disown me, they won't be responsible for my funding anymore. I'll have to be independent. I also won't be leaving in the same house, so I'll have to go look for an apartment or student hostel.

"Getting into a good uni would be impossible as well. I'd have to graduate, find a job and from then on, I'll just have to keep going. But I ain't gonna give up! I mean, I've still got you guys, right? And there's the possibility of a scholarship! I can't give up, I have to . . . I have to prove to them I can do this. After all, I'm still a stubborn little asshole, aren't I?" Ending off with the inspirational speech was difficult, seeing as I didn't even mean it.

A blonde headed girl lunged at me, hugging me until I couldn't breathe. It was then followed by my bear of a brother.

"Gah! I can't breathe!" I cried out, my chest being compressed too tight.

They only hugged me tighter. I grinned a weak smile, though no one was looking, and hugged them back.

We took a good few minutes in that hug, and after that, we didn't talk about it anymore, which was fine by me.

As I took my seat in English, I failed to notice that Bella came in with a horde of females behind her. I was too focused on Bella, I wanted to talk to her, get my mind off the stressful things I've been experiencing lately.

She took her seat and I tapped her on her shoulder. She turned back and once again, I managed to catch her eye. They looked pretty miserable, and I felt my whole attitude change. "What's wrong?" I asked her.

The slight swishing of her hoodie revealed that she didn't want to talk. I gave her a concerned look before grabbing my bag and searching for my iPod; the teacher was nowhere to be seen.

I was about to stuff my earpiece inside my ear when someone sat on my desk. I looked up to see Tanya Denali, one of the many girls I dated back then.

"Hey, Edward." she said in a flirty voice. A _sickening _flirty voice. Ew.

"Um, hey." I answered back lamely, glancing at my iPod. What wouldn't I give to be able to listen to some 30 Seconds To Mars or Panic! At The Disco? "So, there's a party going on at my house tonight. My parents are out and ever since Amber . . . well, I'm guessing you wanna hang?" she twisted a few strands of her hair on her index and pouted her lips at me.

Oh jeez.

"Um, actually, I'm pretty busy. I have . . . yeah, I have something on. Sorry, maybe next time." I tried to actually sound sorry, when in truth, I only wanted her to get the hell out of my way. I mean, her Chanel perfume was too intoxicating, if you ask me. One little spray was enough, but to pour the whole bottle on you? My nose was crying for air, and that's saying something.

"Aw, that's just so sad! Where're you gonna go? Can I come?"

"No, god! I mean, er, no." I corrected myself, feeling my ears go slightly red.

Up front, I could hear Bella's silent laughter. And, bonus, her body was shaking slightly.

Tanya sniffed at me before sliding off my table. I breathed out a sigh of relief as she made her way to her own table. I turned to Bella and whispered, "What?"

She only laughed even more. I began to chuckle along with her. "It's no-nothing. God! Did you see her face! Priceless!" she gasped out, clutching the sides of her body, which emphasized how thin she was. Wow, I never noticed it before, but she seemed like she had -

"Alright, class! I'm sorry for coming in late!" Mr. Berty called out, walking into the class. What good timing the man had, just as I was checking Bella out. Ugh. Teachers always ruin everything.

My head was slouched towards the table and my eyes were three quarters closed when Mr. Berty slammed something onto the blackboard, which was the reason why my head snapped up. Thankfully, he wasn't looking at me, but at Mike Newton who was sitting stiffly at his seat. His eyes revealed it all: He'd forgotten his homework.

"Mr. Newton, this is the third time in a row! I shall have to call your parents!" Mr. Berty barked out and I laughed quietly along with the rest of the class. How old did the man think we were? Ten?

"I-I'm so-sorry Mr. Berty. It-it won't happen a-again." Mike stammered, going as red a candied tomato.

"It will definitely not happen again! Because if it does, I shall have to give you detention! And hand me your cellphone, Mr. Newton! Don't think I didn't catch you using it!" Boy was Mr. Berty on a roll.

"What? But I-"

"I don't care about what you have to say, Mr. Newton! Now hand me your cellphone!"

Mike handed his cellphone over to Mr. Berty, who looked at him with triumph. Then his eyes clouded and he whirled around to glare at me.

I choked down a gulp and tried to look angelically as possible. "Mr. Cullen!" he yelled. I jolted and muttered out, "Yeah? I mean, yes?" Mr. Berty looked as though he couldn't believe I was talking to him, much like the other teachers I've spoken with recently. "Show me your homework!" he commanded.

I took my bag and looked for my homework. Thank god I'd finished it last night, right before I went to sleep. As I took out the clean piece of paper with it's written contents, Mr. Berty sucked in a gasp. He walked over to me, disbelieving: I haven't been doing my homework ever since I turned fifteen. Then he snatched my paper and took out a red pen from his pocket. He began reading it thoroughly and checking it, right there on my table.

I could feel the whole class leaning towards me and the teacher.

"Unbelievable." he muttered, eyes popping out his head. "What is?" I asked him, trying not to look smug. He looked up from my paper and seemingly reviewed it. Then he passed back my paper. I looked down to read the marks.

Holy crap! Full marks! What the hell?

"I seemed to have misjudged you, Mr. Cullen. Well done. Keep it up." he complimented through his suddenly amazed smile. I couldn't help but smile, though dazed, back.

When Mr. Berty turned around, Bella passed me a note.

_Nice, _was all she wrote. It was in a rather messy scrawl, barely intelligible, but I liked it. I wanted to write back, but the bell rung too soon. She got up, packed her things, and moved off in that quiet manner of hers. I stuffed all my books inside my bag and chased after her. "Was it, really?" I whispered. She didn't look up, practically expecting this. "Yep." I could hear her smile when she said that.

"Cool." I replied.

"Hey . . . about this morning, I'm sorry." she apologized.

"Why?" I was confused.

"Well, I almost ignored you and didn't even say hi to you. Isn't that a little mean?" she shifted slightly to the side. Some boy was walking in between us and she didn't want to bump into him. "Hey, I didn't say hi to you as well. So that makes us a little fair." I pointed out. Her hoodie swished again.

"Not really. Let's start over. Morning, Edward." There was a slight cheerfulness in her voice and I grinned and her enthusiasm, even though it was low.

"Good morning to you too, Bella!" I whispered back, really hyped up for no reason.

I heard her silent laughter once more and was sad when we reached her class. "I'll see you in lunch?" I asked her, hesitant but determined. I wanted to talk to her more.

"Er . . . actually, I'll see you in Bio. I, um, I have to do something during lunch." she said, and my heart slumped. Like, really, really slumped.

"Aw, I wanted to know what type you are."

"Type?"

"Yeah. The vegetarian type, the carnivore type, the 'okay-okay' type and the 'anything' type."

"Oh . . ." she trailed off, and I guessed that she was thinking about my statement. I was going to explode like a volcano when I caught her eyes, because it was full of wonder.

That's it. I can't take it anymore.

I burst out laughing like a hyena, causing people to look at me in the 'is he crazy' type of expression. I couldn't care less, because Bella was laughing (the normal laughter, not the whispery type) with me and it felt _great. _There was some sort of connection between me and her. I laugh, she laughs. And vice-versa. It was a nice feeling to have somebody able to read in between the lines.

The bell rang, indicating the start of the next class.

Our laughter died down.

I felt my shoulders turn soggy.

"I'll see you later, alligator." This saying had turned into me and Bella's goodbye words. It was weird because it felt traditional.

Bella looked up and her brown eyes were crinkled up, meaning that she was smiling. "See you in a while, crocodile." I made my shoot-you-in-the-heart gesture that captured several girls' hearts when I was well known as the stud of the school and watched as the dark brown hoodie made it's way to her seat.

I walked back to my own class.

The lunch bell rang and I strode off to the cafeteria, not really having an appetite. I was thirsty but not hungry. How convoluted is that?

Probably a lot.

After I bought a soda and an apple, I made my way over to me, Em, and Rose's favorite table. We couldn't have it all the time, since we always seemed to be coming in late for lunch but we got it majority of the time. The table was pretty comfy with it's big, circled top and circular benches that went around it. The table appeared to have swag, and I liked it almost as much as I liked my car.

I bit onto the apple as Emmett and Rosalie took their seats beside me.

" 'Sup?" Em asked. I shrugged. "Nothing much. Have you seen Bella?"

He didn't have to reply, because Bella shockingly walked into the cafeteria, in her dark brown hoodie, even though the heaters were certainly doing a great job warming up the place. I stood up, about to run up to her and talk, when I noticed something: the girls that followed Bella into class earlier this morning was still trailing after her. Bella's hoodie swished slightly and, as though telepathy occurred between us, I caught her eyes instantly.

She took a step towards me, real reluctant, and I took a step towards her.

Ooh, romantic, isn't it?

Wait, why was I even thinking like this?

I didn't even bother to answer that, because in the next instant, someone blocked our path. It was Tanya, and I wondered what in hell was she doing.

This didn't sound good at all.

BPOV

My head automatically hung low as Ms. Blonde-Huge-Bust (otherwise known as Tanya Denali) stood in my way to Edward, who I wanted to tell to bugger off because I couldn't take it anymore. The growing confusion I felt whenever he and I talked was getting to me, and I'd come to Forks for some breathing space, for crying out loud.

So maybe Ms. Blonde-Huge-Bust was some sort of sign to tell me that I was making a big mistake by telling Edward I didn't want to be his friend anymore.

"Okay, so, like, you already know what I'm going to tell you, right?" she said in an annoying, nasal-like voice. I cringed at the tone; Leah almost had one exactly like this.

Ever the stubborn mule, I shook my head.

"What? Like, are you kidding me?" she gasped over-dramatically. I briefly grimaced, because that was how I used to act as well, and that probably branded me into the bitchy category, alongside several other people in this world. But I wanted to stand my ground.

This strait belonged to my father, too. So blame him.

I shook my head at her to indicate that _yes, like, I am so, like, totally kidding you! _I felt like yelling that out at her. I mean, she wasn't the only one who knew cheerleader language. _Hello, _I was the freaking head-cheerleader of Phoenix State High, for crying out loud. I was getting really pissed that I managed to catch Edward's eye. I shot him a look of disdain, which made his face crumple up in a weird way. He looked like he wanted to laugh, but at the same time looked ready to burst with all the anxiousness he was probably feeling.

I heard Ms. Blonde-Huge-Bust let out a scoff and I looked up a little to see her arms fold themselves over her chest, making her boobs look extra bigger.

Ew.

"I'm probably helping you out here by saying that you don't belong here. The cafeteria belongs to the cool people, AKA, _me, _and all the other hot people. The geeks and the goths are outside, with the picnic tables. But seeing as you're the only freak here, I can only suggest you hang around the girls' toilet at the end of the hall to-"

I couldn't help myself.

I started laughing.

Like, _really _laughing. I didn't understand why, but something inside of me snapped when she began her 'oh-I'm-so-helpful' speech.

I felt her glare penetrate my hoodie. Suddenly, her arm whipped out and latched onto my arm, effectively stopping my blood flow there. "Listen, _freak, _you stop chasing after Edward. He. Is. Mine." she semi-growled/hissed. She continued, "So you get your grubby little paws off him. I'll bet you're really ugly, that's why you're always wearing your hoodie. Well, now it's time to make use of my bet! Girls!"

And before I knew it, someone yanked down my hoodie, unzipping it and thrashing it to the floor.

Shit!

My long, chestnut colored hair unwrapped itself from the super loose bun that I'd tied earlier this morning. It shaped around my face as I looked up to scrutinize Tanya's shock expression. My face felt so alien in the open air. The warm air from the heaters whipped across my cheeks. Everyone gasped, the most evident one coming from Tanya, as they saw how I actually looked like.

This was bad.

Heart thumping really loud, memories of Jacob's death came flooding my mind. What we were before, and the aftermath, haunted my mind. I was seeing flashes of light, as though I was being pictured, and I knew then I had to run away.

Grabbing my hoodie from off the floor, I shoved Tanya's arm away from my own, and dashed as quickly as I could to the one place I could think of: Bio lab.

I crashed in front of the lab, and curled into a miserable, letting out the tears that have been cooped up for too long. I was really looking forward to starting anew, and now I'll never have the chance again.

I wished I never became friends with Edward. With _anyone. _

I wished I was not beautiful.

I heard footsteps, and by impulse, I grabbed my hoodie and was about to break for it when a familiar, velvety voice cried out,"Bella! There you are!"

I turned back, face red and blotchy from all the sobbing, and stared at Edward's anxious face. Strange . . . he didn't look like he was dazzled or anything. He looked as if he was searching for something in me, and I didn't know what that was. It frightened me.

Slowly, reluctantly, he took a step towards me.

My tears flowed harder as I took another step away from him. He flinched, but kept his eye contact with me.

_C'mon, Bella, walk to him already, _my inner-voice yelled out at me.

_No. _

I whirled around, beginning to run when Edward suddenly blurted out, "I was abused."

Huh?

No wait, make that, HUH?

Nevertheless, it made me turn to look back at him.

"What?" I gasped, air rushing to my dry throat. "You heard me," he muttered and slowly made his way towards me. "I was abused."

"By who?"

"We should sit, I bet this could take quite awhile." he mumbled and sat down beside me, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes. My hoodie was still tucked under my arm, my intuition telling me to wear it, but I fought against it. Only a true friend would run after me to tell me something as important as being abused was after he found out how I really looked like; a goddess.

"So . . . what?" I questioned him, looking down at my hands.

"What, indeed." he whispered, looking down at my hands as well. Then his hand came up to mine, hovering over my own for a second. I felt the heat coming from his hand, warming up my own. Then I pulled back, feeling my cheeks burn crimson red.

He let out a sigh.

"When I was a little boy, really little, my biological mother-" I cut him off.

"But I thought Esme was your mother?" Charlie had given me the preach about the Cullens when I first arrived here. I'd learned that Carlisle Cullen was the best doctor the whole of Washington had ever seen, and he was always receiving offers to work in grander hospitals, but his wife, Esme Cullen, wanted to live in a small town. Apparently, she thought a small town equals a safe environment for kids to grow up.

"No. Carlisle and Esme . . . are my adoptive parents."

Holy shit.

"Whoa . . ." I trailed off, unsure of what to say. "Yeah, I know right? Anyway, my real mom died of cancer, leukemia, and I was left alone with my lonely father. Um . . . my father was a great man, he was the best father anyone could ever have. But that was before Momma died. When she died, it was as if she took Daddy's good side with her, and all that was left was his bad side." Edward let out a shudder as he told me this.

I took note of the 'Momma' and 'Daddy' part, because it was the only part that made Edward seem . . . a little calm.

He took a deep breath before saying, "When Daddy would come home from work, he's always drunk. I was always left at home, you see, and everything I knew then was crayons and Sesame Street. And Barney. Anyways, he started abusing me after a few nights without my mother. I was probably irritating, and he probably wanted me to just shut up, so he started to hit me.

"But one little slap turned into a punch. A punch turned into a kick, and a kick became full out hitting, complete with books, vases, _anything _he could get his hands on. My neighbors . . . they're useless little assholes. They knew what was going on yet they did nothing to save a seven year old from the wrath of his father.

"So it went on and on and on until one night, it was too much. He had actually gone on to stabbing me with a broken beer bottle and also smashing my skull with the same bottle. He gave me a choice, to live with my nightmare, or to go find a new life.

"I chose the other option. I literally crawled away from my then home and kept going until I saw a house. Carlisle and Esme found me in their backyard, about to die, when Carlisle, ever the goodhearted man, brought me to the hospital. They called the police and asked for my name several weeks later, you see, I couldn't speak yet thanks to my nearly slit throat. I told them my name was Edward but didn't give them my last name.

"I told them I didn't have one." Edward ended, breathing hard, his eyes still closed, refreshing those memories he had. His mouth would twitched every once in a while, and he would look as if . . .

As if he was a seven year old.

I scooted a little closer to him and wrapped my arms around his right arm, which was facing me. I curled around it, my head burrowing into his shoulders, as I breathed in his scent. He smelled like honey-lilac-and-sun, it was delicious to my sense of smell. He also smelled of fabric conditioner, the type that made you want to inhale the shirt for days on end.

It was time for me to fess up as well. If Edward trusted me enough to tell me his secret, it was my turn now, because in truth, I trusted Edward with my whole life. I knew he was a good guy, behind all those devastatingly good looks. I knew how the emerald pools that was his eyes would light up whenever he saw me and started talking.

I knew he preferred frappucinos to cappucinos. I knew he hated texts that used abbreviations for proper words. Basically, I knew almost everything about him.

And now I knew about his past.

"But what _is _your last name?" I asked into his shoulder. My breath warming up my own face. He leaned his head against mine, and I felt my heart stutter a little.

"Masen. My last name is Masen."

EPOV

So there you have it, folks. I've officially screwed myself.

Now, hopefully, Bella would keep my secret a secret. Otherwise . . . I'll be more than doomed.

But I knew with all my heart she wouldn't spill my secret. There was something about Bella's crumpled expression as she ran out of the cafeteria that made me run after her. Yes, Bella was like a goddess, so graceful, so heart achingly beautiful, you just _have _to stare, but there was something in her features that made me realize the actual thing that made her really beautiful.

It was the fear she'd showcased. No one else had seen it, but I knew enough of it myself to know that it was there.

So I ran after her and here we are now. She, hugging my arm like a pillow, me, leaning onto her forehead like a cushion, and just being _us. _God, it felt really great.

Though, my heart's beating a little too fast right now, probably due to the fact of being so close to someone as beautiful as Bella.

"So . . . why are you hiding your, ah, face?" I asked, trying to sound polite. She flinched a little, her mahogany curls tickling my jaw, before she sighed, "If I share my own secret, you're gonna have to keep it, deal?"

"Yeah." I replied, because I knew I would do it, no matter what.

"Okay, um, here goes," she took a deep breath, "You know how Ms. Blonde-Huge, I mean, Tanya, was? I used to be like that too. I was the head cheerleader of Phoenix State High, the most popular girl, the one voted dance or prom queen over and over again. The one boys would . . . would _die _for." I noticed that she choked out the last part, but I pretended not to.

"All those wasn't . . . it wasn't enough for me," she said, "I wanted more. So I invented a competition where boys . . . where boys who liked me fought for me. As in . . . real battles. They were-" she gulped before continuing, "were allowed weapons. In the end, two boys were left, and they faced off. One was a geek, the other a jock."

"How ironic." I interrupted. I felt her smile against my skin.

"Yeah . . . So they fought. The geek turned out to be really good at the fighting, and nearly won over the jock but the jock's friends helped him out and in the end, Jacob, that's the geek's name, was lying flat on the ground. But James, the jock, wasn't satisfied. He had a prejudice against geeks, so he took a metal rod, a really sharp one, and he . . . he . . ." she was at a lost for words.

"He stabbed him in the heart?" I offered. She gasped slightly and asked, "How did you know that?"

I shrugged.

"Lucky guess." I mumbled before darting my eyes down to avoid her gaze. Bella might have a dark past, but it didn't stop her from looking intensely beautiful when she wanted to.

"Oh. Anyway, I never got over Jacob. His sister, Rachel, blamed me for his death. Jake's death took a huge toll on everyone in his family; it was no longer the same. So I decided to move, and I'd worn hoodies ever since then. Even now, I always think of Jake because . . . because I think that I might have . . . loved him." she whispered and I felt my shirt dampen a little.

She was crying.

I allowed the gentleman in me (you mean no boy has one?) to let her wet my shirt while I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her onto my chest, where I knew she'd feel more comfortable.

She cried for about five minutes, and when it was done, we both stared at each other.

Like, really, really stared.

BPOV

As I look deep down Edward's marvelous green eyes, I wondered to myself, how have I ever made a friend like this? We still had our arms around each other, but it felt _right. _As though it was meant to be this way.

A warm shiver made it's way known.

Without tearing his gaze away from mine, Edward reached past me to grab something from behind me. Then he wrapped me in my own hoodie, before zipping me in and giving me a lopsided smile, one that was fast becoming my favorite.

He gently tugged the hood over my head and my face was once again covered in the hoodie's safe shade, bringing my back to my safe zone. He tucked in my long hair, and I noticed how his fingers lingered around it a little. I didn't mind it, because something was happening inside of me, and I couldn't put a finger on it.

I thanked him.

He told me welcome.

Something between us changed just then, and I didn't know what, but I knew then that I _didn't _want Edward to stop being my friend because I needed him now, more than ever.

He was my anchor to the Earth, my happy place, the reason why I wasn't thinking of Jacob as often as I usually did.

The more closer I was to Edward, the more I moved on.

I think, no, I _know _I made the right decision when I'd first laid my palm over his smooth forehead and found out he was having a fever. Had I not done that, I wouldn't have been feeling this sense of closure.

And I was happy to have it. Maybe even more than that.


	7. Work Can Be Fun, Sort Of

_**Author's Note: AHHHHHHHH! Fifteen reviews for Revelations Can Shake Your World! I can't believe it! Okay, okay, I have to chill, because if I don't, I might jinx it. So, I am so ecstatic to announce that CYKAS has hit the thousand hits mark! And it's only on the sixth chapter, it's so unbelievable! So, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, guirtythetwihard, emoprincess 98, thatxbaseballxgirl, booklover311 and shelly95 for reviewing! You guys are one of the reasons why I write this story. And this reaches out to the rest of you reading this story. Without you, I don't think I'll ever continue this story. Ah, and to answer shelly95's question, yes, there will be more Alice and Jasper in the following chapters. I've just tried to get Edward and Bella close because the story revolves mostly around the both of them, and they're supposed to be the main characters. But don't worry, Alice and Jasper won't get shunned out, just wait and see. Alice's role will be the most explosive one. Just keep reading! **_

_**I am indeed, going completely mental. Please forgive me from preventing you guys on reading! Not-so-lastly, if you completely and utterly go crazy for all the characters of Twilight, leave a review! **_

_**So find a comfy place on your sofa, grab a lollipop, and ENJOY! =)**_

_**~Serene.**_

_**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Twilight does not belong to me, no matter how much I wish it does. I mean, a drool worthy Edward in my bed every night? Ooh la la~ xD**_

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

Is it possible to be so happy yet sad at the same time?

Yes, it's possible.

As I sat eating breakfast, my mood was so light it was impossible to even shun it out. My whole family noticed it, Em and Rose commented that I was probably either in love or I've been getting some.

Guess what? I denied both, sticking my tongue out at them even though it sounded pretty childish and girlish, I couldn't help myself. I didn't want them to be spoiling my good mood. Even Alice, whose been avoiding me, cocked an eyebrow at me. Jasper gave me a tentative smile and I smiled enthusiastically back. His smile wavered for a second, before Carlisle and Esme pulled him away from me.

This time, it didn't bother me.

Ever since that day with Bella and revealing to her everything that I've kept, including the disownment, I've been inside a little bubble of pure bliss. It's a dreamlike state that I wish I'll never wake up from, because I want to bury myself in it more.

Well . . . actually, things wasn't as good as it was for Bella. To everyone's credit, they pretended that nothing happened, but the damage was done; they knew how she looked like. Apparently, that was the whole point of Bella wearing her signature dark brown hoodie.

But she didn't seem to mind. I did notice she stuck around me more, gravitating towards me without seeming to notice. Not that I didn't do the same thing whenever she was close. It's just that I never thought I'll ever have someone as close to me as Bella was.

Right on time, Carlisle cleared his throat. "So, since it's Saturday and none of you seem to have _plans," _he stretched the last word, and I felt my happy bubble go _pop, _"I thought it would be nice to go to the Lodge for dinner? You know, as a family outi-"

I interrupted him, panicky, "NO!"

He raised his eyebrow at me and the whole table grew quiet. "Why not, Edward? Do you have a party to go to?" Oh the sarcasm. It was biting through me.

"Uh . . . actually, I um, yeah, I have something on." I couldn't bring myself to tell them about my job. I was worried they'd think of it as cheap and really stupid, because I was just a freaking pianist. My stomach dropped a hundred feet into the ground as Carlisle gave me a disapproving frown.

"I've already reserved, Edward. I do not wish to rebuke it." he said sternly with finality, then he continued, "if you wish to not come, it's fine. Anyway, you were never there for our outings."

I swallowed a gulp.

"Um . . . I'll go off now, I guess. Have a - yeah, have a nice day, guys." and with that stupid ending note, I rushed off to work.

See, this is exactly the reason why I didn't want them to come. They were coming on the day I had work. I couldn't afford to just call the day off because Peter and Charlotte were relying on me to bring in more guests. Recently, the Lodge had been getting so much people streaming into the restaurant that they'd had to put up a reservation list.

The Lodge was named 'a four-and-a-half star restaurant' by the Washington Times. That put the restaurant on the hot list and people from everywhere visited Forks just to eat there.

And why?

They wanted to hear me play the piano.

_Me. _Now who could believe that? _I _certainly couldn't. Bella had told me that I was getting good karma for changing and rising up to the occasion. She'd said that good luck was coming my way because I needed it the most.

When I parked my car into the employees' parking space, I strolled casually into the restaurant, which was, thankfully, still empty. I spotted Peter from the kitchen anxiously pacing about, waiting for the oven to go _ding. _Charlotte was busy arranging the tables and then re-arranging them. I sneaked up behind her and grabbed her shoulders. "Morning!" I shouted happily.

She jolted and whirled around, her hand flying to her mouth. I gave her my smirk and she smacked my forearm. "Jeez, Edward! You scared me! Don't do that again!"

"No prob. First things first, take it easy will ya? You're seconds away from hyperventilating, literally. Have a chill pill." I laughed and patted her shoulder. From the kitchen, Peter poked his head around the corner to point at his wife and laugh. He gave me a thumbs up before returning to his work.

"And you too, Peter. You might get a heart attack from waiting on that entree." I laughed. I couldn't help teasing him, because it seemed pretty unfair for Charlotte.

"Whatever." he breezed through the kitchen door and I laughed, turning to Charlotte, who was shaking her head fondly. "So Piano Boy, what d'you have for us today?" she asked, all business now. Not that she controlled my choice of music, it's just that she wanted to make sure I was at least playing something. How cool was that?

"Um . . . maybe some original composition and a little Schubert. I know the compositions are doing well but I wanted to make sure people could listen to something they recognized so they wouldn't totally be ignoring the food." I answered professionally. See? When you're passionate in something, you suddenly look at things in a different perspective.

It's incredible.

"Well, that's a good idea. Anyhoo, I'm glad you came today. The restaurant's always low on customers whenever you're not on shift." she patted my shoulder and gave me a warm smile. I smiled back and headed over to the piano.

"Oh, and Edward?" she called from across the room. I turned around and yelled, "Yeah?"

"Your payment check's in your locker. You can get it later during your break or when you're done for today."

I let out a scream in my head. My first check. My first job check. Holy crap.

I could feel my head burning with the blush that crept all around my face. My stomach turned into a pile of mush and I felt like I couldn't even stand properly; my legs were shaking too much. I nodded thanks at Charlotte and her ocean blue eyes looked worried for a second. Then she hurried off towards another table.

Oh god, now I'm acting lame. I mean, I've worked my butt off for several days on end and never had the thought of getting paid crossed my mind. I was so focused on the job it felt like I'd been doing it my whole life.

Wow.

As I opened up my battered file and took out some papers, Bella crossed my mind. I whipped out my cell and dialed her number. I wanted to tell her the news, and also to invite her.

On the fifth ring, she picked up the phone. "Hello?" her voice seemed to light up the whole room. I was rendered speechless for a second before carrying out with a really intelligent answer: "Uh duh."

I expected her to call me stupid but all I heard was her laughter. After her second intake of breath, I laughed along with her. The waiters who worked at the Lodge probably thought I was going crazy, because I was laughing like a madman who'd discovered the perfect way to cook creme brulee.

"Hi to you too, Edward." she snickered and I let out another crazy laugh. "So, to what do I honor this call from you?" she continued with a fake British accent.

Very well, then. I could play along as well. "Well, my lady, I was hoping you would grant me the pleasure of accompanying me in my, ah, work."

Bella snorted at how retarded I sounded. "That's lame, Edward. What am I? Your guardian?"

"No, you're my best friend. And I've already saved you a seat. Employees are allowed to have one guest in the Lodge for the whole dinner package, you know, it's to attract people to come and work here. Ah, and you'll get to hear me play the piano." I insisted, ditching the stupid accent.

"Aww, I don't know Edward. Char- I mean, my _dad, _might have some plans." she said reluctantly.

"Really? And what kind of plan is that? Fishing?"

"Okay, you got me. I'm not really sure I want to go. I mean, I'd _love _to go, but this week's been really tiring. I don't want another Ms. Blonde, ah, Tanya, episode again."

"Trust me on this, it will not happen. Please Bella, I'm begging you. My family's coming and I don't think I can-" Bella cut me off in a rather shrill voice.

"Your _family _is coming?"

"Yep, from what I've heard." I sighed glumly. "Well then count me in. You'll need your moral support." she teased and I let out a teeny growl. "Shut up. I just need you to be there so that when things go horribly, you're gonna be my comforter."

She laughed and told me she had to hang up, because she was still on her quest to cook lunch. I told her to ask Chief Swan about their day and that if she really couldn't make it, I understand. Or I could at least try to.

Damn, I really am changing.

Either way, I took the lid off the piano and skimmed the tips of my fingers on the top of the keys and smiled warmly at them. "You really love playing the piano, don't you?" I jolted, but breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Charlotte leaning against the marvelous thing. I nodded and turned back to the keys, wondering.

For awhile there, I thought Charlotte's voice was Momma's. I mean, it's real insane to think about it, but my mother had said the same thing when I was still learning how to play the piano with her beside me, coaching.

I remembered that she used to place her hands over my little fists and gently placed them on the right keys. She'd let me play, with her hands guiding, and I'd always laugh at the thrill of musical notes being played. My eyes was trained to see the notes without having to look up fully, and all I had to do was press the keys. I was a walking music box.

I guess all this boiled down to me loving music. Even during the dark times, I never stopped thinking about playing the piano. My fingers never forgot the feel of the piano keys.

And now, here I am, playing the piano for what I haven't done in years.

A year ago, if you told me that I would be in the Lodge playing whatever music that inspired me, I would have punched you and called you a douchebag.

But now, it's like, whatever.

I pressed a few keys and began to play _Goodnight, Goodbye _which was one of Momma's wonderful creations. It was peaceful to my ears and I found a few missing pieces in the music. Hastily, I grabbed a short pencil and began filling in the blank spaces, adding new notes and then trying them out.

They worked well.

Delighted, I began playing the song again, from the top. This time, the empty spaces filled with light notes, as though it portrayed a garden with dancing fairies. It made me feel as though I was floating on a cloud, swaying along with the music.

The music devoured the whole room. Pretty soon, all the waiters and waitresses, Peter and Charlotte, the cooks, the dishwashers, the servers, _everyone, _spread out all around me, some dancing along with the music, others simply letting themselves loose over it.

As I played the last note, they all clapped me on the back and complimented me, before going back to their work. I wasn't really anticipating the kind words they used, ending up blushing like crazy while sitting on the piano bench and looking out of place. I looked back on _Goodnight, Goodbye _before picking it up and reading the notes all over again.

Then it was time for the restaurant to open, and once again I was in a nervous state. I felt like I was going to flip out when Charlotte gave me a passion fruit cooler and an encouraging hug, as if it was already expected that I couldn't get used to the crowd that awaited my performance. My stomach gave a frightened shake as I stood behind the curtains that covered the door leading to the piano.

As Peter stood at the small platform, welcoming the guests, he called my name.

_One deep breath, another one, and here we go . . ._

* * *

><p>Several hours later, I was lying down on the kitchen counter, sipping some cold water, my forehead half covered with an ice pack. I hadn't been expecting the applause I had been receiving. This led me to blush so hard my temperature grew hotter and Charlotte ad to step in to bring it back to normal temperature. She chided me for being so humble.<p>

It was the dinner time now, and I was waiting for Carlisle and Esme and their family to come in any moment now. I looked out for the best dressed ones, since Alice would probably rather die than let any of the others go in wearing jeans and t-shirts. So far, I haven't seen striking blondes or a super buff dude.

Neither have I seen a doctor and his wife.

It was my dinner break now, and Charlotte treated me to one of their main course meal, something to do with steak and cobbler. It tasted astounding though, even when I'd heard nothing of it. It was something that filled my empty stomach.

As I stared anxiously at the door for Bella to pop in, I checked my phone for the _n_th time. She told me she was coming, alongside her father whom she thought deserved a little treat for being so understanding.

I had to admit, I was a little scared of the prospect of meeting Chief Swan. Now, I'm not saying that I'm such a good kid, not getting into fights in the neighborhood, blah blah blah, but I've never, ever, met Chief Swan before. People told me that he could be a good man when he wanted to be, whenever you weren't defacing some local monument or something, and the same lot of people told me he could be _the _devil when he got angry.

But it isn't as if I wanted to experience it myself.

I flipped open my phone and sat up, the ice pack falling into my lap, and dialed Bella's number.

"Hi." she breathed, and it was slightly forced.

"Oh, um, hey. Let me guess, you received an e-mail from Rachel Black?" I choked out, immediately worried for my best friend.

"Huh? Oh, no. I just . . . Leah's in a tough situation right now, and she's practically begging me to move back to Phoenix." she sighed, broken.

"What? You can't do that!" I cried, my fists going straight for my hair, and then pulling at the roots to relive some of the tension I could feel emanating from Bella right now, of which I shared.

"I know. I just don't know how to tell her that. Anyway, this night isn't about me. It's about _you. _How's the job so far?"

She was changing the subject to avoid any awkward emotional episodes. If she wanted to do just that, I guess I can humor her. "It's um . . . going great. By the way, where the hell are you? I've been waiting for over an hour and the dinner package was opened since two hours ago."

"Oh, I'm about a second- okay, look back."

Disbelieving, I turned, and there she was.

Bella.

Wearing plain blue blouse that matched her pale skin well, that hugged onto her soft form. Her long, beautiful mahogany hair hung around her face, shaping around it, bringing to light those amazing chocolate brown eyes of hers. Her lips were slightly darker than pink, from all her biting, and her cute nose was scrunched up.

This was the first time I saw her actually dressing up. The time when Tanya and her bitches ripped Bella's dark brown hoodie off her, Bella was wearing a normal, green turtleneck sweater.

But _this, _oh god. Men would literally fall to their feet. And I just couldn't believe my luck that I had someone like her as my friend.

"Hi." I managed, shutting off my phone and stuffing it in my pocket. Bella let out a shiny grin, revealing perfect teeth, and I felt my heart go _thumpa-thumpa-thumpa_.

I know, I know, girls should be feeling this way, not the boys, but jeez. When you saw Bella, it was as if you couldn't help but feel that way. It's like her beauty was sucking you up like a vacuum. Once you're in, you can't get out.

I blocked off that thought. Bella was my friend, and I could not afford to make any mistakes with her. She trusted me too much and vice-versa, I can't take advantage of the connection I had with her otherwise I'll be damned. Bella meant too much to me.

Wait, why am I even thinking about this right now?

I smiled rather awkwardly at her and she laughed, pointing at my face and calling me goofy. "Well, you told me I get a free dinner if I come, so where is it?" she demanded, rubbing her stomach in a really lazy but sexy way. Wait, wait, Edward, knock it off. "Uh, um, yeah. Just take a seat at the tables and your server'll be right out." I stuttered slightly.

Thank god she didn't notice it.

"Oh." Her face fell slightly. I felt my mouth turn down. "What is it?"

She sighed, "I was thinking, well, I was thinking of watching you play from behind that door," she pointed across me towards the door that lead to the platform, "and I wondered if I could eat with you?" There was uncertainty in her voice, which I acknowledged, and replied briskly, "Yeah, sure. Just make sure you keep real quiet."

"Aye, aye captain!" she did a mock salute.

BPOV

I have honestly no clue as to why I was leaning against the door that lead to Edward's performing stage, eating a braised lamb with an onion assemble with a fondant potato. Don't even ask how the hell I managed to get through the fancy food talk when it was, really, just a freaking lamb with some turned potatoes.

What's the big deal about that?

But anyway, the food tasted _great, _though my nervousness at dressing up for Edward still remained in it's spot in my inner well being. When I first agreed to coming over, I thought about wearing my hoodie, the one that Edward's been accustomed to, but ever since the confession day, I couldn't help but feel _something _for him.

And that was saying something. And why? I was finally moving over Jacob, thanks to Edward. Every minute spent with him, Jake's memories faded, leaving me in peace and happiness, no matter how short lived.

Which brings me to my main concern for the night: Leah.

It wasn't as if she was the worst best friend in the world, maybe she just had awful timing, and maybe her timing this time was just really off, but I couldn't help but feel like I was being used. Leah was a great girl, she just had a tongue that bites.

Literally.

Watching Edward flip through some sheets of music, all thoughts of my troubles washed away. I hadn't known it before, but the boy had a really nice, lean and muscular body that male models usually have. Combine that with his killer tousled, bronze hair and straight nose, along with his mesmerizing emerald eyes that's so full of soul, you'll get the perfect actor for any movie.

Whoa, now back up a second. Have I been _checking _Edward out?

_Yeah, you moron. Now hurry up and kiss him already, _the giggly cheerleader in me squealed excitedly. _SHUT UP! _The new me shouted back, clearly irritated.

It wasn't like . . . I mean . . . Edward's just . . .

AHH!

I probably looked like a person from a mental institution when I shook my head fiercely and began banging it against the wall. I believed some people stared, but I couldn't care less. This was Edward we were talking about, I couldn't just do that. He meant a lot to me and maybe I might be something like that to him, but I couldn't risk the relationship we have right now.

I'd hate it if we were to end up destroying each other instead of lifting one another up.

Just then, Edward's craning head froze, and my heart froze along with him.

I looked at the direction he was looking at.

Then I began freaking out for him. It was them, his family. And they didn't seem to notice him, either. What the hell?

And they were all . . . dressed really nicely. Especially the little black haired one, the one who was short enough to be mistaken for a middle schooler. She wore a little black dressed the clung onto her curves, almost worshiping them. Her pixie-like hair was curled gently onto her face.

She looked like she just stepped out of a glamorous photo shoot. Well, Edward's whole family all looked the same like the black haired one, but none of them particularly caught my eye.

Because just to my front, Edward began clenching his fists really tight so that I could see the tendons sticking out so bad, you'd think they would burst any moment now.

I couldn't take it anymore. Edward had to get out of there or he'll never be able to move, much less play the piano. "Psst. Psst! Edward. _Edward!" _I whisper-yelled. He turned and I met his frightened emeralds. In that moment, it felt like I could stare into his soul, seeing his most frightening fear. It was strange because I felt myself fear it as well.

I strode over to him, grabbed him by the arm, and tugged him aside. Then when no one could see us (and without me really thinking about it) I took a step towards him and hugged him fiercely. He didn't hug me back, but I was sort of expecting it. I felt his warm body melt into mine every time he took sighed deeply, I could hear his breath whistling against my ear.

Then his long arms wrapped around me and he leaned his head against mine, just for a second, before unwrapping himself away from me. I gotta admit, I felt a little lonely after he did that, but I couldn't help but smile at the look of comfort his expression revealed.

He let out a nervous laugh before offering me his hand. I took it with no hesitation. I guess the bravado act was still running high.

Either way, Edward and I made our way back inside the restaurant, hand in hand, facing his problem together.

I think I liked that.

Edward let go of my hand as he stepped into the little stage. Though he was still a bit tense, at least he wasn't having a nervous breakdown. I watched as he took a deep breath and popped open the piano lid as if he has been doing it for his whole life, which quite frankly, is true. His whole life was a always led in a nightmarish sequence, now his posture was overflowing with so much passion and confidence, it was impossible not to get inspired.

Edward's body language yelled out, _watch me, just watch me. _

And I did. The restaurant owner grabbed the mike, clearing his throat, before saying, "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It is a pleasure for all of you to dine at our restaurant today. We are very honored, and we hope that we have all reached your expectations. And now, let us introduce to you, Edward, our pianist for today."

Edward turned to face the crowd and Dad raised his eyebrows at Edward's hands-in-the-pocket stance. Dad looked over at me and gave me a tiny grin, as if he was sending me something somewhat telepathically but I couldn't comprehend what on Earth is was.

Edward took the mike from the owner, who smiled proudly before leaving the stage and spotlight to Edward, who for a second, looked really panicked. I didn't blame him, I mean, his family was seated almost directly in front of him. You have to give the boy some credit, man.

"Good after- I mean, good evening, guys. Um . . . " Edward began, and I fought back a groan. "Today I'm gonna play you some music. Uh, yeah . . ." he trailed off and his ears were turning really red. So was his cheeks. In spite of that, he fought it all back and with a really confident and much better voice, he grinned, "The music I will be playing are some original compositions. I will also be playing Schubert, because I'm sure all of you would like a little of the classics, yeah?"

The audience nodded, mesmerized. I saw some girls swooning.

"So, um, yeah. I hope you'd enjoy your time here and, maybe, you might wanna come back for more." with that, he winked and everyone laughed at him.

Everyone, except his family, who looked unconvincing. Rosalie and Emmett though, Edward's closest siblings, waved at him frantically in an effort to cheer him on. Apparently, cheering for your favorite brother was not allowed in this restaurant.

Edward took a seat on the piano bench and took a deep breath before pressing the first keys of the music.

Jesus H. Christ! This boy had some magic fingers!

My mouth dropped along with the rest of the people in the room as Edward played his melody. It was so beautiful, I actually felt my heart lift up. The music was addictive, and it was difficult to believe there was only two hands playing this; the notes were coming so fast you would think it was impossible. Edward's eyes was closed, as though he was losing himself in the music. I closed my eyes too, to get the feeling of the music.

It was a quiet, sweet and utterly heartbreaking beautiful piece of magnificence. It was if I was watching the daisies growing in the summer, watching it daintily swaying with the gentle breeze.

It was as if I could smell honeysuckle and jasmine. All this scents were so engulfing I found myself suddenly caught up in the moment.

I stood up, opened my mouth, and began singing. With my eyes closed. It was ridiculous do-re-mis, but it sure as hell sounded _right _with the song. There was no words on the planet that described this amazing feeling I was receiving.

And all this was due to Edward's work.

I hand't realize that I was sitting with Edward on the bench now, completely ignoring the people watching us, and just singing my heart out.

Come to think of it, I have _never _sung before but now, I sounded utterly astounding . . . I guess my shower head experience was paying off. I opened my eyes to look at Edward, whose eyes were opened as well, and he was looking at me with such admiration and awe, I found it difficult to turn around and make sure there wasn't anyone else beside or near me.

Finally, Edward hit the last note, and everything before me suddenly erupted into a huge applause and cheering. I turned to face to diners, and was shocked to see all of them on their feet, standing up and punching the air. Even the Cullen family was doing some hoots.

I was so stunned by this, it took me a few seconds to drink in this sight. Then I started blushing. As in, the super-mega-ultra blush that I never knew I could even produce. I _must _have made a new shade of red.

Edward's hand found my own. He gave it a slight squeeze before I could hear his exhilarated laugh. I looked at him and began laughing real goofy as well. We just stared at each other and laughed and laughed.

For the rest of Edward's shift, which was, mind you, _really _long, I sung along with him. All those nonsense notes entertained the crowd and we always got a standing ovation after each song. When the Cullen family left, Edward played so much better that I got so inspired as to invite a guest diner to dance.

Then it was closing time, and Charlie made Edward promise to take me home before eleven. Edward, of course, agreed and thanked him with a nervous little 'sir.' Charlie nonetheless loved it, giving me a thumbs up behind Edward's back.

As Edward and I sat in his car, the wind whipping at my hair, he took my hand and squeezed it really tight. He didn't let go. Not that I mind.

Like I said, I liked it.

"So. . ." he said, gazing at my house in the distance.

"So, what?" I asked.

He drove the car into the driveway and I could hear Charlie snoring like a chainsaw up front. Edward cocked his head before guffawing really loud. "Shut it, idiot!" I growled.

He smacked his fist over his mouth and I grinned at how cute he looked like. Charlie's snores stopped for awhile before coming back with a vengeance. I tried not to cover my ears.

Suddenly, the air around us seemed heavy. Edward's emeralds seemed to glow in the dark, and we seemed to be inching closer and closer together. Then, as though we rehearsed it, we both pulled away hastily.

But the memory of being _that _close to Edward stuck to my eyes. I saw how his emerald eyes had little flecks of almost invisible gold in the monnlight. His lips had somehow gotten my attention, and I found myself blushing at the thought.

"Well, it's five to eleven." he breathed, the air returned to becoming light, and I replied, "Yup, sure is. So . . . I'll see you on Monday?"

He frowned.

"Why? What's wrong with Monday?" I chuckled, earning myself a grin from him. "It's so long." he grumbled slightly, his lips turning into a pout.

"Oh. Sorry, I've got work tomorrow."

"Then can I tag along?" he shot back, immediately hyped up. I laughed, and said yes, because there was no denying a face like that. I leaned in to give him a friendly hug, inhaling his clear honey-lilac-and-sun perfume, before opening the door and sliding out. I waited until Edward's Volvo was out the driveway before waving goodbye at him.

Shaking my head slightly and grinning like a fool, I walked into my house, making sure to lock the door.

That's when I noticed the light in the kitchen. And the shuffling.

Grabbing Charlie's baseball bat, I sneaked into the kitchen.

Only to find . . . "_Leah?" _I gasped, staring at my former best friend's smeared face of cosmetics and bloodshot eyes.


	8. One Liter Of Tears

_**Author's Note: *Insert scream here* 20 reviews for Work Can Be Fun, Sort Of! I swear, I'm going crossed eye with all the unbelievable reviews I've been getting. So SUPER MEGA ULTRA HUGE thanks to AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234, Emoprincess98, thatxbaseballxgirl, xxxxtwilightmadxxxx (aka Lauren) and bloodredeclipse for all the fantastic reviews that you left! To Lauren: That's a wonderful suggestion, but I'm afraid to spoiler you a little that Carlisle and Esme will find out about Edward's secret wayyyy into the story. =( Alice and Jasper though, will know 'bout it soon enough. This chapter might possibly break some hearts, and I apologize for it, but I do hope you guys will love Twilight enough as to leave a review! =) **_

_**So find a comfy place, grab some snacks, and ENJOY! **_

_**~Serene**_

_**Disclaimer: Even though I've said this over and over again, I'm still saddened by the fact that Twilight does not belong to me. But I'm definitely even more pained by the other fact that Edward doesn't exist in real life, therefore I have no hot guy by the side of my bed every night. How sad is that? ='(**_

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

Sunday found me driving over Bella's house at nine in the morning. When I called her, she didn't pick up the phone, which was really weird; she never lets a phone call by me go by. So I figured I'll just go ahead to her house and check things out.

I was a little worried, you see.

Oh please, stop those whistles, you're embarrassing me.

As I turned a corner, my mind wandered to yesterday's events. Of course, you guys know what happened in the Lodge and stuff, but when I reached home yesterday, Emmett and Rosalie attacked me with killer hugs. They clapped my back so hard I ended up choking on the coffee they made me. Even Jasper stayed up to say 'well done.'

Nowadays, Jasper seemed . . . I don't know. It's as if he didn't know whether to be at peace with me, or to create war. Hopefully he'd choose the first option. I could do without all the fighting, thank you very much.

And that pretty much summed up my night yesterday. Carlisle and Esme didn't look for me, neither did Alice, but I figured they knew how I was coping with everything. I'd hoped that they saw the message I was trying to convey to them: I was doing well, even though I probably wouldn't be able to get into university.

I sighed at the thought. University, huh? It's impossible . . .

Finally, I reached her house. I wondered where the Chief's cruiser was, since it was obviously not parked into the driveway. Glancing a little at the kitchen, where most of the noise seemed to be coming from, I honked two times and got out of my Volvo. I locked the door, leaned casually against the car, and waited for Bella to appear.

After a few seconds, a window opened and it wasn't Bella who was peeking out at me.

The girl definitely had an awful night. Her black hair was messed up big time, her eyes were so bloodshot that I couldn't even see her eye color properly. Her face was marred by tear streaks and some black thing running all over. Lipstick smeared all around her lower jaw. All in all, she looked like a monster.

I tried not to stare.

From behind the girl, Bella appeared, comprehension filling her face as she realized why I was here. Then she turned towards the girl and seemingly coaxed her to go upstairs to wash her face or something. When the girl's back turned, Bella turned back to me and mouthed one word: _Leah._

So that was the girl who used to be Bella's number one friend. The girl who was part of the reason why Bella moved to Forks.

She was part of the reason why Bella's Jake died.

I didn't understand why my stomach clenched a little at that thought. It felt kind of cold suddenly, and I wrapped my leather jacket around me even more tightly. I glanced up to look for Bella, but she'd disappeared. I heard a click and Bella's front door opened, with a rather stressed Bella leaning against the frame.

Walking over to her, I opened my arms real wide. She did the same gesture and I gingerly wrapped my arms around her small waist as soon as we reached each other. I heard her sniffling. I rubbed her back a little, inhaling some of awesome strawberry scented shampoo that wafted from her long hair.

That was pretty much the best hug I'd ever had in years.

We pulled away, and Bella was blushing a little. "Hey." I greeted her. She grinned and said, "Hey yourself." I laughed at her, the mood shifting to a really light one.

"Won't you invite me inside?" I asked her skeptically. She burst out laughing while mumbling, "Come in, come in."

The minute I stepped inside, I was surprised to see the house really immaculate. I mean, it was so damn neat! The living room was so organized, compared to the Cullen's one, which, believe me when I say this, is practically the neatest home I've ever seen. Then my eye caught on something: a picture of Bella, probably when she was six years old, playing with a teddy bear that was dressed up in a little dress.

Her hair was plaited into two ponytails, her big chocolate brown eyes looked like the same beautiful orbs that glowed whenever I saw them now. Her nose was the same cute little nose that every toddler seemed to have.

I pointed at it and laughed really loud. Bella reached up to try and remove it from my view, but she was too short. I caught her hand mid-air. "Hey, you don't have to take it away. I like it. It shows how cute you looked like when you were young. At least you were born with them. When I was young, I looked like a talking fish bone." I laughed, remembering how Momma teased me about it.

She laughed alongside me and we kept on it till my stomach grumbled. "Lemme guess, you didn't eat breakfast?" Bella asked, gazing at my stomach.

I nodded while clutching my ravenous stomach. I began to laugh again. "God, it sounds like a dog or something!"

She placed her hand over my stomach, and for awhile, my heart froze before restarting in double time. I felt my ears go red and I kept chanting in my head, _it's just Bella, don't get excited, it's just Bella, don't get excited, _but the trouble was, I _was_ getting pretty damned excited.

Bella giggled as she felt my stomach rumble. "Yep. You are hungry. C'mon boy, let's get you some food." She leaned towards me and clapped her hands in the same fashion that some people treated their dog, and whistled really loudly.

Playing along, I let out, "Woof!"

Bella and I then burst out laughing before she led me to her kitchen, where she fixed me a breakfast that seemed decent. I took a cautious bite before giving her the approved thumbs up. She grinned real big and sat on the stool opposite me, munching on some granola bar.

From upstairs, I heard a quiet voice call, "Bella?"

I watched as Bella's eyes turned worried and concerned before replying, "Yeah?" Leah walked into the kitchen, and I noticed that she was actually quite pretty without all the hideous makeup on her. She had nice looking black eyes.

"Oh. I didn't know you had company," Leah said, surprised to see me. I raised my hand in a wave and gave her a goodhearted grin. She seemed stunned for awhile but eventually she smiled back. I was slightly unnerved by the fact that she looked really cute when she smiled.

Oh boy, here I go again.

"Leah, meet Edward. Edward, Leah." Bella introduced me to Leah, though I already knew her ex-best friend's name. What I wasn't expecting though, was the fact that Leah leaned into a hug. Without really knowing what to do, I hugged her back.

For some reason, I felt my ears go really red, just like the way it would whenever Bella was around me.

"Uh, hey." I muttered and Leah laughed. I stared at the floor, trying not to feel the awkwardness of the situation. "Hi." Leah greeted back, really enthusiastic. I noticed, despite her nasal-like voice, that she seemed pretty normal wearing Bella's sweats and some shorts.

"Come and eat breakfast, Lee-Lee. I bet you're hungry. Here, eat some food from Edward's plate." Bella said. I detected some sort of . . . _strain? _I couldn't understand why, but I watched as Bella cut out a portion of my omelet and grabbed a slice of toast from off my plate. Not that I didn't mind, but wouldn't you find it weird if you were to share food with a stranger?

I guess, under different circumstances, the answer would have been no.

Oh, well. At least Leah was pretty.

We ate in silence at first, none of us willing to break the comfortable quietness. Then I opened my mouth to ask Bella, "So, what time's your job?"

Before she could answer, Leah interrupted her. "You have a _job?" _

Bella gave a weak grin, glanced at me, and answered, "Yeah. I figured Charlie's not the type of person who have sufficient funds for a teenager about to head off to university or college."

Leah turned towards me. "So do _you _have a job?"

I nodded, biting into a piece of toast, and watched her reaction. "You're kidding me, right? I mean, you look rich and stuff, you even drive a freaking Volvo." she babbled and blushed. I grinned a little. "Nah, I'm literally about to be kicked out of my house. I need a job to feed, clothe and supply myself for the rest of my life."

Hey, admitting the inevitable seemed pretty easy now.

"What?" Leah gasped, leaning a little closer to me.

"Um . . . yeah. You heard me, my parents are gonna kick me out of their house." I muttered, blushing also, and looked away from Leah.

"Oh . . . poor you." she patted the back of my hand sympathetically. Bella cleared her throat.

Shit, I totally forgot Bella was still present. Great move, Masen. You just ignored your best friend over some girl, who was looking over at you sheepishly and blushing like crazy.

"Anyway, Lee-Lee, I think you should come along with us to my job. You know, you might feel lonely or something. This house can seem pretty big when you're alone." Bella said quietly, once again strained, and I found myself staring at her.

"Oh, okay." Leah said simply.

We lapsed back into silence. When I finished my food, I asked Bella again, "What time's your work?"

She shrugged. "Around ten?"

I checked my watch. "Bella, it's a quarter to ten. You're going to be late." Bella gasped as this sunk in, and I chuckled at her. She grabbed her mini bag from the counter, made sure her dark brown hoodie was wrapped securely around her, and dragged me and Leah to her truck. She didn't even bother to lock her front door.

"You should take my car. It's faster." I reproached gently. She spun around, waited impatiently as I fumbled with the keys, and got in the shotgun seat. I grinned at her and made sure Leah got into the car as well.

Let's just say Leah's expression was priceless as she eyed my expensive leather seats. I laughed a little at her expression, and heard Bella cough.

I drove Bella to the Newton's store in record time, reaching there within just ten minutes. As I leaned against my car, waiting for Bella to finish her shift, Leah followed my example.

I looked at her. "So what brings you to Forks?" She glanced nervously at me, before her eyes teared up. Alarmed, I rubbed my hands up and down her arms, which were pretty smooth. But now wasn't the time to be thinking about skin, Masen. You should be trying your best to comfort a sobbing stranger.

She wrapped her arms around my neck tightly and I took the hint that she wanted a hug. So I hugged her back, quite awkwardly, I might say. "I'm s-s-sorry." she apologized. I patted her back and whispered for her to just let it all out.

And hell, she _did _let it all out.

After about fifteen minutes of crying/sobbing/bawling her guts out, Leah stopped crying. She was still hugging me though, and I had no idea what to make of it. She sighed heavily, and I caught her breath.

Whoa. It smelled of peppermint. I wasn't expecting that. "I'm sorry for asking you a question that shouldn't be asked." I apologized to her, patting her back some more. "No, no. I _want _to tell you. I don't understand why but I feel like I can trust you." she confided, her arms letting me go.

God, it's as if it's free hug day or something. I watched as Leah took a deep breath. "Well, you see, I used to have this boyfriend. His name is Sam Uley. He was the quarterback for my high school's football team, and we dated for a pretty long time. Then . . . one day, actually, it was just a week ago, my cousin Emily came into my high school as an exchange student from California.

"For awhile, Emily and Sam acted as if nothing was happening between them, when in truth, they were crushing on each other. Then yesterday, Sam broke up with me to be with Emily. But the most painful part isn't the fact that the girl he truly loved was not me, the most painful, heartbreaking part was the look in his eyes whenever he saw her.

"And I just couldn't take it. I love Sam, and it killed me to see him laughing with her, playing with her fingers, kissing her, hugging. God, it's just . . . he used to do those kind of things with me, you know?" she ended, bursting into tears again.

Jeez, talk about heartbreak. This guy must have been a lady killer.

I hugged her this time, because I knew she'd just hug me sooner or later. Her tears wet my shirt, soaking it, but I didn't mind.

The back of my neck pricked and I looked up to see Bella watching us with a broken expression. She caught my eye and immediately looked away. I swallowed, because my stomach threatened to throw up my breakfast, and my heart sprinted at the memory of Bella's torn face.

I hated it.

In my arms, Leah carried on crying, using my shirt as a cloth. "T-thanks, Edward. Y-you're such a-a great g-guy." she stammered and I nodded into her black hair, which was surprisingly soft.

Whoa.

I couldn't help comparing Leah and Bella. I mean, Leah's beauty was simple, normal, not in the devastating way that was Bella's. Granted Leah might seem to be materialistic, however, no girl in the world wasn't. Even the nicest girl was slightly materialistic. I learned that in every way possible.

Leah was normal, I could control my feelings for her. Not like Bella.

Making up my mind, I blurted out, "Hey, d'you want to go for a cup of coffee?"

BPOV

I watched quietly as Edward opened up his car door for Leah to get in. She was sliding into the shotgun seat, the one where I had been sitting at just awhile ago.

In my mind, I was pleading for them not to go. Watching them ditch me, I realized how cruel I was. How cruel and _selfish _I was.

I wanted Edward all to myself. This morning, when it was just me and him, it felt like old times. It felt natural and easy. Then Leah showed up and distracted him with all her beauty and flirtation skills.

I mentally slapped myself. Leah wasn't like that. She was a sweet girl, and right now she needed a friend the most. I was supposed to be helping her out, not getting mad at her for stealing away my best friend.

My stomach turned into ice and I pressed my hands against it because I knew that any moment now, I might throw up. I'd been having this feeling ever since the moment Edward had ignored my presence whenever Lee-Lee talked to him.

And god, his _face. _He looked so damn animated when he listened to her story. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't planning on eavesdropping on them in the parking lot outside the Newton's store, but I just couldn't help myself. I wanted to see if Leah was talking about a whole different story from the one she'd told me.

And guess what? She didn't.

Another minus on my side.

I felt angry, hot tears make their way to my eyes. I never felt this way until this morning. The last time I got this feeling . . . it was at Jake's funeral, when everyone was staring at me as if it wasn't my fault, but _his _own stupidity. Of course, I leaped to Jake's immediate defense, but no one even bothered to hear me out.

Screw this.

I began to cry, the tears wetting my hoodie, and I started clenching my fists to keep from sobbing out loud; I'd save that for later, when no one was around me.

"Hey, Bella! Quit slacking already. Get back to your freaking work." Mike-The-Asshole-Newton barked from behind the counter. I nodded at him, wiped my wet cheeks, took a deep breath, and began to pack useless camping bags into shelves.

I should probably explain this.

See, the Newton's store(there really was no other name for the stupid store) sold all kinds of camping stuff, like those packed food you see the Army people eat whenever they were in a war-zone or something like that. Or, try the tents and the jackets for instance. Forks was, apparently, one of the most famous spots for camping and hiking. Not to mention that, close by, there were a few mountains that wannabe mountaineers could climb on.

My job? To pack shelves, check the expiration dates of the dehydrated food and help campers, mountaineers, hikers, basically everybody, to find whatever stuff they wanted.

And altogether, my salary was pretty good. Like, really, really, good.

I sighed, jumped a little to push the final camping bag into the top shelf, and turned around to look for wandering customers. Let me tell you this, no one ever came up to ask me about the store's supplies. No one.

Seeing that the store wasn't so busy, I told Mike I had to rush to the toilet. He grimaced but nodded at me to continue, while a little boy freaked out at my whispers.

Once I reached the toilet at the back of the store, I crashed down in front of the toilet bowl and puked up my breakfast.

Memories flooded my mind, visions of Leah and Edward swirling around my head. Pictures of them crowded in my hindsight, and the thought of it was so nauseating, I threw up some more.

I didn't understand this at all. Edward was just my friend, he was just Edward, but I couldn't comprehend why I felt this way whenever he was with Leah.

God, I was beginning to sound obsessive. I didn't like it at all.

Afterwards, I washed my mouth plenty of times, checked my breath, ate three mints, and sat beside the sink. I leaned my head against the wall, feeling the coolness of it bringing down the heat from my skin.

I didn't want Edward and me to end. It was stupid, to begin with. Nothing happened between us, but I sounded like the typical, jealous ex-girlfriend. And that was so not cool. It was revolting to think of.

But I just couldn't stand it. Edward and Leah, Edward and Leah, Edward and Leah . . . the mere thought of their names repeating themselves in my mind brought back the hurt I was feeling.

I hate this. I really, really hate this.

This is what those other girls whom Edward had played before must be feeling when they saw him with another girl. They must have gotten the same, gut wrenching, hands shaking type of reaction that I was feeling now.

At that moment, I completely hated myself as much as I hated the thought of Edward and Leah dating.

"Bella, get your ass in here right now!" Mike screamed, exasperated, and I realized that I'd been in the toilet for nearly an hour. "Coming!" I yelled back for the first time that I stepped onto Forks. He was just getting under my skin right now, and he needed a piece of my mind.

I slammed the counter door open. "What the heck's your problem, Newton?" I screamed as several customers stared at us. I didn't give a shit.

"Tell me something, will you? Do you want this job or no?" his shout wasn't as loud as mine; he was stunned that I was yelling at him.

"What if I said no? What if I said I quit? You know what, Newton? You're just being a jerk! All the time that I've been working in your bloody store, you did nothing but order me around even when things you order me to do are not part of my job! Who the hell do you think you are, huh? You think I'm your freaking slave? Well guess what? I'M NOT! And I'm so freaking tired of you always bossing me around when in truth, YOU'RE NOT MY BOSS. YOUR PARENTS ARE, NOT YOU. Get that? You think you're so good, just because your parents own the most popular store in the whole of town, well screw you! That's right. Fire me all you want, but I'm done. I QUIT!"

I was practically panting after my outburst, but I still felt bitter. Right in front of him, I tore off the badge that every employee of the Newton's store was supposed to wear during duty, and pushed pass him to the exit.

And then I realized I had no way of transport back to my home.

Using all the swear words I knew, I began to walk the five miles walk back home.

Life was so damn unfair.

I pulled the hood of my hoodie even tighter against my face and huddled into the warmth of it. I listened to the crunch of soil beneath my feet. It sort of soothed me, and the earthly scent of the moss helped to calm me down. This moment, this very second, I remembered briefly why I loved Forks. It reminded me that everything could be taken slowly, not like the fast paced life of living in a big city, where everyone expected you to achieve so many things.

At least in Forks, I could live any life I wanted and still turn out to be a great person in everyone's eyes.

I bit my lip, remembering that I hadn't been calling my mother ever since I came here. Yeah, she called me, but I ignored them all. I deleted her messages, afraid she'd be able to change my mind.

On impulse, I whipped out my cell and dialed my mom.

By the sixth ring, I knew it was impossible. She must have took the hint that I wanted to be left alone. She finally let me go.

God, I'd never felt so lonely in my whole life. The tears sprang to life once more, and I forced myself to resist the urge to sit and cry on the wet ground. I kept walking, the tears fighting against my willpower.

A car passed by me, running over a puddle of water which splashed onto my hoodie, decorating it with mud. "God!" I cried out, exasperated, and stopped walking to evaluate my hoodie. Another car whirled by, and another puddle of water miraculously missed my outstretched arms and got me freaking wet.

It began to rain really heavily.

_Just my luck, _I thought. Bitter and cursing like a trooper, I started walking, only to slip and fall on my third step. "Goddammit!" I screamed as I plucked myself off the ground. I was seething with rage.

But I took a deep breath, thought of a warm bath, and started walking again, this time more cautiously than ever.

EPOV

"Seriously, Edward! You have got to be kidding me!" Leah laughed.

I shook my head, laughing along with her. "Hell no. You think I'll joke with you?"

"Well, duh! You just told me a joke two minutes ago!" she chuckled while sipping on her latte. She shifted her chair closer to me. "It sure is cold, ain't it?" I muttered, wrapping my jacket around my freezing body. She nodded silently and warily leaned her head against my shoulder. "Hey, you're hot!" she exclaimed.

I laughed at the two ways that the meaning could go. "Well, thank you. I've been told that before."

"By who?"

"Basically all the girls that I've met." I confessed. I felt her chuckle.

"You still haven't told me yet. What's your type?" she asked me. Smiling, I replied, "I'd usually go with gorgeous, awesome body, long legs, but now? I think I'll just go with anything."

"Really? So . . . would that mean I'm your type now?" she asked me mildly, putting a tone of lightness in her voice to hide the curiosity. "Yeah. You're probably my type now." I answered.

"Oh."

"Yeah . . ." I mumbled. Grabbing my hot chocolate, I glanced at the time. 6:23 p.m. Not too late to bring Leah back to Bella's house.

Oh shoot. _Bella. _"Crap! Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!" I yelled suddenly, sitting up straight and stuffing the receipts that I'd gotten into my wallet. I grabbed my hot chocolate and, a little rudely, tore myself away from Leah. She looked up, evidently hurt and surprised.

Unlike Bella, who would have hid her emotions indefinitely. "What is it?" she said in a painful tone.

Her tone reminded me of Bella's face earlier. My heart started racing fast. _What the hell, Masen? You sat here in a freaking cafe with Bella's ex-best friend for _hours, _sipping on hot chocolate, munching on cheesecake and brownies, when all this time Bella was stuck in rain, looking for a ride to hitch because _you, _who was supposed to be her ride for the day, ditched her? _My conscience screamed at me.

I didn't bother to answer Leah's question this time. All that mattered was Bella, and the fact that she might actually be stuck under the rain. Knowing her, she would definitely walk back home, because she didn't want to be a bother.

Oh god, what the heck have I done?

I opened the door to my car and ordered, yes, _ordered,_ Leah to get in. She complied, and we drove in silence, speeding towards the Newton's Store.

There was no Bella waiting outside the store. Neither was there a Bella waiting inside the store. Storming up to Mike Newton, who looked kind of miffed and slightly sad, I demanded to know where Bella was.

He looked frightened and the sadness in his eyes increased. "I don't know, man. She . . . she quit, you know?"

"She _what?" _I gasped.

"She quit," he nodded, "And it's all my fault. I guess I was being a jerk to her. I kept . . . I kept pushing her around and I didn't realize how she felt baout that until just now, when she yelled at me and stuff."

"She yelled at you?" I gasped again. That didn't matched Bella. It didn't even sound like her.

"Yeah . . . she was really . . . I don't know. When she came in the morning today, she seemed pretty on edge. I think I pushed her a little too far today. Look, if you see her, could you tell her I said sorry? She was a pretty good employee, Mum and Dad would hate it if I let her go that easily." he sighed in a really sad way.

I got the feeling he liked her.

My stomach clenched at the thought. _No way, man. Not him, _I heard myself chide silently.

"Yeah, whatever. But you must have seen which direction she went, right?" I asked. He nodded and told me that she just burst out the door and began walking towards the east of the store. I thanked Mike, even if I didn't really mean it.

Walking out the store, Leah sighed. "It's really cold right now. I'm sure Bella's home by now. So can we, like, go back to her house first? Sweatshirts and shorts aren't exactly the attire for wet weather."

Okay, well, not exactly sighed. More like complained.

She had a point though. Bella's shift ended at five, so she definitely reached her house by now. "Okay." I shrugged and Leah grinned at me.

We got into the car once again, and I turned up the heater. Leah leaned against the seat comfortably and hummed. "I like this car of yours." she commented.

"Really? Me too." I chuckled. She giggled but stayed quiet.

Reaching Bella's house, the lights were still turned off. "Maybe she's in the bathroom?" Leah suggested. "Yeah, maybe . . ." I trailed off in wonder. I remembered that Bella didn't lock the door when she left. So, tentatively, I opened the door, and to my relief, it opened with ease.

"Bella?" I called out into the darkness. No answer. "Hey, Bella. Come out, come out wherever you are!" Leah laughed. I could only manage a grin.

Still no answer. I was beginning to freak out. "Looks like Bella still isn't here. We should-" Leah cut me off.

"No, we just stay here and wait for her. It'll be no use if we go out looking for Bella now if later she's actually right at home, bathing in hot water or something." she said, her hand latching onto my forearm. "Oh, um, okay. If you insist. But what are we going to do?" I mumbled, blushing a little.

"Talk. We're going to talk." Leah said firmly, with a look of determination. I wonder what the determination was for. If she was going to have sex with me in Bella's house, I'll be running away in no time.

Since, after all, I could have sex with any girl I want in any place that is available. Just not Bella's house. Just not that.

BPOV

I have to admit, I got lost a little, but seeing my house with it's lights on was the most comforting thing I've ever seen.

Especially after several hours of trudging through the cold, heavy rain while falling down a million times. So water was definitely not a good factor when it came to my sense of balance.

But the house, about twenty meters away, brought such inspiration that I actually ran towards it in spite of the fact that I would fall down on my way there.

Turns out, it didn't. Thank the good lord for that!

I burst through the door, thanking my rarely lucky stars that it was still opened and that I hadn't locked it. But even though the house was lighted . . . it was very quiet except for a low murmuring of voices that came from the TV.

Too quiet.

Very warily, I walked into the living room, only to find Edward and Leah cuddled up together, watching a movie: Woody Allen's _Hannah and Her Sisters. _

I felt like I was doused by a minus million degrees of water. Edward and Leah . . . Edward and Leah . . .

Oh god. Edward had his arm around Leah, who in turn was curled around Edward, and they both looked really _happy. _The tears threatened to explode, but I told myself, _no, not now, please not now. _

Edward must have heard my harsh breathing for he turned around. His emeralds glittered magnificently as he realized I was standing there, looking very much like a drowned cat, watching him and Leah show PDA.

"Bella!" he cried out, letting go of Leah and rushing over to my side, grabbing a spare towel from the pile of clothes, towels, and tissues that laid beside him. But it wasn't the towels that made my heart turn into ice; it was his voice.

He made it sound as if I mattered to him. As if he hadn't been breaking my heart without knowing it, which was ridiculous, because I didn't even like him in the first place.

He draped the towel across my shoulders and rubbed my stiff body with his warm, large hands. "God, Bella! You're freezing! Go and take a sho-" whatever he was about to say, got interrupted by Leah.

"Hey, babe, you sound like her father!" she laughed childishly and hugged Edward's shoulders. I felt my stomach drop infinitely lower than it could have.

Edward glanced at Leah, then looked back at me. "Um . . . we're, uh, dating now." he mumbled before letting out a killer blush.

The minute he said those words, I knew I had to run away from the room. Run away from _them._

And run away I did.


	9. I'd Hate You, But I Can't

_**Author's Note: Argghhhh! I can't believe it! 28 reviews for One Liter of Tears! Who would've thought that hooking Edward and Leah up would cause such a reaction? MEGA SUPER-SIZED thank yous to stormy315, Isabela is Online, RogueRaina, AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234, thatxbaseballxgirl, fanficftw23, Emoprincess98 and of course, booklover311 for all the support that you've shown by reviewing on the latest chapter! I wish I could have given you guys a Porsche 911 turbo, like Alice's, but it's kind of sad that I can't. (I'm going broke) Okay, so, to set things real clearly, 1) This is still an ExB story, 2) Please do not hate Edward for dating Leah! =( He has a reason as to why he's going out with her, and it's not in the way you guys think it is. Just read on and you'll understand. By the way, this sort of thing, the main character holding out secrets from the reader, also occurred in Sophie Kinsella's Mini Shopaholic, where the reader is led to believe that Becky organized only one party when she actually organized another one for Luke, her husband. Hang on, I'm getting off subject. Sorry. =) Hmm . . . oh, and 3) You can hate Leah all you want, since her character's supposed to be hated on in the beginning, but she'll have a happy ending too. And if you've been diagnosed with Twilight-madness syndrome, feel free to leave a review! **_

_**So cuddle up on that seat, grab a munchkin, and ENJOY! **_

_**~Serene.**_

_**Disclaimer: If only I could be given an Edward for every single time I say this, but I can't. ='( Still, Twilight does not belong to me but to the lovely Stephenie Meyer who also drew up the man of my dreams. Hey, I'm just saying. =) **_

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

"Bella, wait!" I cried out, desperation filled in my voice. This was going horribly awry. This was not supposed to be happening. I _knew _I should have told Bella about my plans.

Okay, to be honest, I have very little time to think about these things right now. I needed to chase after Bella and make everything right with her. Letting go of Leah's hand, I bolted to the door. "No! Edward! You're staying _here!" _she cried out, her hand lashing out and creating a vice-like grip on my arm. I caught some sort of fear in her voice.

That's when she proved my assumptions about her.

In a really rough manner with as much force as I could come up with, I shoved Leah's hand off my arm and spat out with venom and finality, "It's over, Leah." I didn't even bother to explain why. People like her don't deserve an explanation.

Then I sprinted out the door and onto the wet porch, seeing the towel I'd wrapped Bella in on the bottom of the steps.

Nevertheless, I picked it up and took a second to scan my surroundings, squinting through the rain. There. I'd recognize that dark brown hoodie anywhere. She was just running into the woods.

I yelled out her name and chased after her into the pouring rain. There was nothing but concern within me. In my mind's eye, all I could see was the look of _torture _that Bella'd worn when I told her that I was dating Leah.

So, confession time.

I never really wanted to go out with Leah. All of it was a farce. From the minute I saw Leah, I knew that she was just putting up a front that Bella couldn't see through; she loved her ex-best friend too much and cared about her a lot. It didn't matter that she herself would get hurt, Leah's happiness meant everything to Bella.

That was one of Bella's weaknesses. She couldn't see that Leah was just using her.

And that was the reason why I went ahead to ask Leah out, because I thought that Leah might have some redeeming quality about her that only Bella could see, however, there wasn't. I wanted to judge for myself if Leah was the right type of friend for Bella, and the earlier events proved me correct; Leah was just using Bella. I was planning to break up with Leah on the next day, because after what happened during the Amber incident, I gave up on love.

Well, not really, but still.

I was fully drenched now yet I didn't give a damn. I just kept on running, trying to keep Bella in my sight. My breath was coming too fast and too slow at the same time, but I just kept on running, imagining what Bella must be feeling.

I got closer and closer to Bella, eventually reaching my limit. My legs felt like lead but I had to push against feeling winded. A crackle of lightning lighted up the sky for a second and my heart seized in panic. I had to reach Bella _now. _Something horrid might happen and it would be all my fault.

Keeping that in mind, I found myself sloshing through the rain even more, Bella almost within my reach. "Bella!" I called out once more.

Then, _BOOM!_

The world seemed to turn into the color white for an instant. I felt blinded for a second, but my vision cleared a little, though my ears did not. One of the trees that was nearby was falling down, down, down . . . down towards Bella.

Oh, crud.

She didn't realize it since she kept her head forward. At this rate, she'll-

With no time to spare, I thought, _not her, please, not her!_

Everything that happened next was in slow motion, just like in the movies.

Screaming Bella's name for the final time, I jumped at her with all my might, using the last bit of my strength, and braced my arms in front of her protectively. I caught sight of the tree slamming down in front of me, but it wasn't over. My jump had led to me and Bella's downfall, the impact of our collision causing large bruises to form on my body. We were about to crash onto the ground, and there was a sharp stone that threatened to smash Bella's head.

I clutched Bella tightly against my body, then flipped her over so that she was behind me. I flung my right arm out to create some sort of brace against the ground and us.

What I didn't anticipate was the loud crack of my wrist that could have been heard from meters away. Neither did I expect the god awful pain that erupted from it. I crashed on the ground first, narrowly avoiding the rock from smashing onto my skull, but it stabbed at my shoulder. I felt something warm spread across my shirt like wildfire. I didn't have to be a genius to know that it was blood.

Bella landed on top of me, making the rock gauge deeper into my skin. I gasped at the pain of my probably broken wrist mixed with the pain of the stupid stone.

And yet all I could muster was, "Bella, are you okay?"

Bella let out a sob. She was probably still frightened from our near death experience. "O-oh g-god." she stuttered brokenly. I held her tight with my good arm and said, "Ssh . . . it's okay, ssh. I won't harm you." We were still lying on the ground, too shocked to even sit up.

She looked up at me and her beautiful chocolate brown eyes that was marred by tears bored into my soul. "Harm me? Edward, y-you just s-s-saved me. H-how could y-you say t-that?"

Confused, I asked her, "Then why are you crying?"

She didn't look down, choosing to keep her gaze on me. "B-because I . . . L-leah and you . . ." she didn't bother to continue and broke out in sobs once again. "I'm s-s-sorry. I'm being s-stupid."she apologized.

I touched her freezing cheeks and coaxed her to look up, so that when I told her the truth, she'd know there wasn't anyone on the Earth that I wanted to be with other than her.

Okay, wait, hold up. _What _was that?

I couldn't let myself get distracted. So instead, I stared into her gorgeous eyes and told her the truth. And nothing but it. "Bella, this whole thing with Leah, believe it or not, it was just a test for her. Call me a bastard or whatever, I don't care. The moment I looked at Leah, I knew there was something about her that screamed out all the wrong things. I like to think of myself as a pretty good judge of character, and I guessed correctly when Leah started to get close to me when I hadn't even known her for an hour.

"Bella, I was looking out for you. She was using your kindness, your sympathy, and twisted it so that you couldn't see that she was actually abusing those traits of yours. Sweetheart, do you actually think I would stoop so low to date someone like her? I might be a playboy, I might hook up with practically anyone, but I don't date sluts like Leah."

All Bella ever did was to stare into my eyes. I knew what she was looking for: sincerity. I think she must have seen it because she gave a timid grin. "You know, I'd hate you, but I can't seem to. It's just . . . when I saw you with Leah? I had this awful feeling and I couldn't just shake it off. I wanted to tell Leah to back off . . . and yet I couldn't. I'm such a coward."

I scoffed. "No, you're not. You're the bravest person I've ever met. It's normal for people to feel that. I mean . . . maybe seeing other people dating brought back memories of _him?_"

She shook her head. "No . . . I don't think it's like that." I gave her a weak smile and said, "Well, if you have an idea of what it's like, tell me. I'd be happy to hear your theory."

Bella smiled back, this time with more energy. Then she sneezed. "Oh, crap. We have to get you home, Bella. You might be sick and god knows how it sucks to be in a fever." I scolded her.

"Whatever you say, Daddy." she giggled, as if there wasn't any fight in the first place. I thought back to my confession, and blushed when I called her sweetheart. Oh, god . . .

"But wait, do me a favor, will you?" I asked her and gently sat up. My shoulder lashed out by sending waves of pure pain. I bit back the urge to cry out. "What is it?" she asked.

"Look at my back. There's a stone sticking out. Do you mind if you-" I was cut off by Bella's shriek. "Holy crow! How the hell did that end up there?"

"Yeah, I figured as much," I mumbled, "D'you mind if you helped me to take it out? Just . . . grab the end of it and yank it out as fast as you can. That way it'll be less painful for me."

She didn't reply but kept staring at the goddamned rock. "Bella. _Please." _I begged, trying to sound stern enough. Finally, Bella looked into my eyes. Her small hands wrapped around my neck, curling down towards my shoulders.

I shivered a little from our close proximity. Suddenly, a horrendous pain erupted from my shoulder, and the cold sharp object that had been planted onto it disappeared. I suddenly felt slightly nauseated; floods of blood seemed to be rolling down my back. Bella sucked in a deep breath.

She looked apologetically into my eyes. "Jeez, Edward. I'm so freaking sorry. If I'd known you'd . . . god, this is all my fault." she closed her eyes in anguish. I felt my heart break into two because her face reminded me of her expression when I'd told her that I was going out with Leah.

"_Bella. _It's so not your fault. So shut up, and blame _me _for making you go through the awful feelings you must have felt." I growled, half exasperated by her kindness and half desperate to make it up to her.

She opened her eyes hesitantly. "Are there anymore wounds?" she whispered. I showed her my hand and grimaced. My wrist was limp, and it looked so gross I had to look away from it.

Bella kept on staring.

Self-consciously, I stared at the ground, choosing to focus on the wet, mossy soil instead of Bella's penetrating gaze. "Um, can we . . . ah, go back to your house now?" I suggested tenderly. Bella snapped out of her trance and frowned.

"No. We have to get you to the hospital. Come on."

"Huh?" I asked but got no reply.

Bella stood up and bent down to help me stand. I shook my head at her. She rolled her eyes and grabbed my good arm, then she yanked on it and I bit back the cry of pain that exploded from my wrist and shoulder. My face, however, betrayed me. Bella saw my pained expression and bit her lip. "Sorry, sorry!" she gasped out.

I shook my head again.

Stumbling slightly, I stood up. Luckily, I didn't fall down in my attempt, and managed to salvage some dignity. Bella looked at my face, expressionless. Then she sighed. "Let's get going."

I only nodded, afraid my voice would come out as a squeak. Bella wrapped her arm around my waist and advised me to use my good arm as a prop-up. "What, you did first aid training?" I teased. She cracked out a smile, and replied, "Yeah. When you're an accident prone klutz, you have to learn how to clean up all evidences of your screw ups."

I laughed despite the hurt.

We walked in silence towards Bella's house. The rain poured down on us, and I worried that Bella might really get sick. I wouldn't want to spend who knows how long walking along the school halls without her by my side.

Yeah, I know, I'm corny. Guess I'm kind of special in that way.

I was the first one to spot her house, but she was the one who actually picked up the pace. I bet she was cold and eager to get out of the stupid downpour. My shoulder felt like hell. No. Scratch that. My shoulder was like hell, my wrist was _purgatory. _

Bella and I were a few steps closer to her house when she suddenly steered me to her truck. "Wha-?" I began, but once again she cut me off.

"I'm taking you to the hospital, whether you like it or not." she hissed, her brown eyes looking all concerned and angry and determined at the same time. Who knew a mixture of emotions could bring out the color in her eyes?

"Uh . . . I'd rather not. I mean, if we go to the hospital, Carlisle and Esme will get called out. Then they'll probably cause a scene. Then I'll be the laughing stock of the whole of Forks." I babbled, shameful. My cheeks were probably flushing by now; my ears were burning up.

Bella seemed to consider it. "But how the hell are we going to-" This time, it was I who interrupted her.

"Sweetheart. Carlisle is a freaking _doctor. _I'm sure he'll find a way to treat my messed up shoulder and wrist." I laughed at her startled expression. I guess I never told Bella that Carlisle was Doctor Cullen, the medical prodigy. Or maybe she knew about it, she just forgot.

Or maybe it was the fact that I called her sweetheart again. Oh, god. I'll dwell on that later but first things first. I had to get Bella into warmer clothing. I walked over to my Volvo, popped open the compartment side of the car, and began rummaging through it, looking for some spare clothes that I'm sure I must have left there.

Then, bingo!

Grinning triumphantly, I showed Bella my wrinkled but clean old sweater and faded jeans from back when I was still a short, fourteen year old boy. She looked confused, then she blushed and smiled. "Why would you keep clothes in your car?" she asked, astounded.

I only laughed and shrugged.

I told her to change into them before we went on our way to the Cullen's house. I'd asked her if she could follow me. Of course, being the good friend that she is, Bella agreed. She was to change in the back, and the mirrors inside my car should be turned away from her.

I didn't argue with her to change inside her house instead, because Leah's hovering form could be seen from the kitchen window.

So I left her there, changing, while I leaned against my Volvo and pondered at the reasons why calling Bella 'sweetheart' seemed so dang natural.

Why did I even call her sweetheart in the first place? Why is it that whenever I thought of Leah or any other girls, I seemed disgusted by myself? Why is it that whenever I tried to picture the perfect girl for me, I pictured Bella? Too many questions, yet all the answers connected to my best friend.

What is wrong with me? Bella would never, ever date me. I am broken, far too gone in insanity village, yet I couldn't help but yearn for her. What is this thing I'm feeling? How come I never seem to have encountered it before?

From behind me, Bella rapped on my window three times. I jolted before turning around and glaring at the beautiful, warm angel that the heavens seemed to bless me with.

And what the hell is with me and all those weird thoughts of mine?

I opened the door on the driver's side, about to get in, when Bella shoved me away. I winced a little at her touch, because it sent little shivers down my back, but in a good way. "Nu-uh. I'm driving today. I'm not gonna allow you to drive when you only have one arm still working." she said and pointed at the passenger seat.

I grinned but said nothing. She'd be the second person who was driving my Volvo. Emmett was the first, remember?

Nonetheless, I got in the shotgun seat and waited for Bella to start the engine. She fiddled slightly with the ignition, then she revved up the engine. Her brown eyes turned wide. "Whoa." she gasped.

Something hit me then: she wasn't wearing her hoodie. I mean, it was expected wasn't it, because her hoodie was wet, but I didn't anticipate her long and wet mahogany hair flowing past her shoulders, looking as though it was nearly black. Her dark hair made her skin so much more paler, if that was even possible.

She cleared her throat. I looked away, embarrassed that she'd caught me looking at her. "So where to, Mr. Cullen?" she teased in her witty, fake, but convincing British accent. I tried going for it again, and this time I managed it quite fairly. "Off to my house, Ms. Swan. Just follow the signs to the highway, and just before it, a little dirt-path will find you."

Bella laughed at my failed attempt. "God, Edward. You suck at speaking British."

I held my good hand at my chest, looking hurt. "I'm hurt, Bella. I am very hurt." I shook my head and burst out laughing. Bella pouted slightly, clearly she was taken in by my acting, and she muttered, "Stupid, shiny, Volvo owner."

I leaned in close to her ear. She gasped a little, and I felt warmth radiating from her skin, heating up my own face as well. I made sure my lips were as close to her ears as possible. I whispered, injecting as much seduction as I could conjure, "I heard that, sweetheart."

This time, not only did Bella gasp, but the whole car veered off to the left wildly. "ARGGGHH!" I shouted, my stomach hurtling along with the car, and took hold of the steering wheel before jerking it to the right slightly. The car righted itself, and I made sure Bella was alright as well.

She glowered at me. "Jerk! You nearly had us killed!"

I tried to look innocent. "_Me? _But you're the one who was in control of the car!"

"Yeah! Until you . . . you . . ." For the first time, Bella was at a lost for words. I tried to help her.

"Until I seduced you?"

"Yes! Until you seduced - hey!" she cried out, indignant, finally realizing what her words meant. She blushed crimson red and I howled with laughter. I could feel the tears coming out of my eyes.

"That is so not funny." she mumbled. I took several deep breaths before saying, "Look, I'm sorry. I just needed something to distract me from the pain of my shoulder and wrist."

It wasn't exactly a lie, since my wrist and shoulder _did _hurt, but I didn't want to admit that I enjoyed watching Bella blush.

Bella stared at me doubtfully, then apparently made up her mind to continue driving. As she drove on, I couldn't help but feel slightly dizzy from the movement of the car. It wasn't exactly comfortable if you have injuries and the car that's sending you to help is bumping along to every single hump on the road.

I should get Rose to have a look at my tires. There must be something wrong with the them.

I fought back a yawn and closed my eyes, trying very hard _not _to feel the aching pain.

The car veered off to the left, and I knew that within five minutes, we'd reach the Cullen's house. "Hey, so now what?" Bella whispered and my eyes flew open.

I figured she was talking about the dark dirt-path. "Um, you just keep heading straight for about five miles, then when you come across a two way section, you choose the right one. Keep heading forward for another three miles, and you've reached the Cullen's house."

"_The Cullen's house? _Isn't it your house as well?" she questioned, squinting into the darkness.

I sighed. "Not anymore."

BPOV

I followed Edward's instructions, partly because the stench of blood was becoming really powerful and overwhelming, majorly because I wanted Edward to get to the nearest and best possible help available.

See, ever since I was young, I hated the smell of blood. It smelt of rust, something metallic, and another scent that I cannot comprehend. To put it simply, I have never done a blood typing in my whole life so far.

You're probably wondering how I took care of myself whenever I fell and got a bloodied knee or something. I just covered my nose, tried my best not to look at the blood, and just do it.

It's kind of difficult.

I have to admit, after tonight, when I realized that I have feelings for Edward Cullen, nothing will ever be easy.

That's the reason why I never explained why I couldn't hate him; I liked him.

Maybe I liked him _too _much.

Call me stupid, call me idiotic, retarded, a fool, but I couldn't help myself. The guy had his reasons as to why he had to date Leah. He was looking out for me, even though he had to hurt other people just for my sake.

I find that endearing actually. If you're wondering when I began to have feelings for Edward, it was when he'd saved me from the falling tree. If he hadn't done that, I would have been a pile of mush underneath its stupid bark.

Beside me, I heard Edward groaned. Quietly, I whispered, "Hang in there."

He must have heard, because his left hand, the good one, reached across to hold my right, which was lying limp on my side. He squeezed it and I felt my heart flutter like crazy. I must be blushing equivocally, too.

I took a deep breath.

Big mistake there, sweetie. Edward's scent, honey-lilac-and-sun, enveloped me in a mist. His sweatshirt, no matter how old or worn it was, still had his delightful scent. It engulfed me in it's swirl and I fought back the urge to grab the shirt and inhale the wonderful smell. It fought the disgusting stench of the blood.

I wondered if it's even human for a man to smell so amazing.

Finally, I saw a light ahead. The light turned bigger and brighter. It was the Cullen's home. My mouth fell open at the sight of it: it looked so grand, mighty, even strong, as the house glowed with the white paint that seemed to brighten everything around it. It was truly an extraordinary sight to behold.

Oh, jeez, I'm talking cheesy now, aren't I?

Gently, I squeezed Edward's hand. I heard his breath come out in a rush, and looked over at him. "We're here."

As quickly and efficiently as I could, I parked Edward's Volvo in the area in front of the Cullen's house. Then I ran around to Edward's side, where he was struggling with the seat-belt, and helped him to his feet. I tried to support his weight, but it was too much, and we toppled to the ground.

"Oof!" Edward muttered and I thought I heard a distinctive growl. "Sorry!" I cried out, before trying to help him up. I finally gave up when Edward's arms wrapped around my waist and stayed lock there. I had no other choice now; I was stuck.

Yelling as loud as I could, in my best bossy cheerleader voice, I screamed, "HELP! SOMEBODY HELP US!"

The Cullen's bright home flickered for a bit, then the front door burst open and Emmett Cullen gasped at the scene before him. "Edward!" he cried, tears brimming his eyes. He rushed over to where I stood and placed an arm below his brother's knees and chest. He tugged on Edward's arms, which still stayed around my waist, yet it wouldn't budge at all.

So he had no strength to help himself up, but he could still hold me tightly to him? Go figure.

I heard another gasp, this time more feminine. No, make that three gasps and two 'oh-dear-lord's. I looked up to find Rosalie and Jasper Hale, Alice, Esme and Carlisle Cullen all staring at Edward's limp form. I watched as Esme's mother-like stance grew weak, as well as Rosalie's crumbling body and Jasper's shocked expression.

Alice Cullen wore no emotions.

Rosalie ran up to me and tried to yank Edward's arms off me. "Damn it, Edward, let go!" she yelled, voice cracking with emotions. With a harsh tug, I heard a slight _crack _of Edward's wrist.

He screamed in protest. "NO! Edward, oh god, Edward!" Rosalie cried out, immediately letting go of Edward's twice-broken wrist.

I decided that it was time to intervene. I placed one hand on Edward's bicep, which was wrapped protectively around my chest, and whispered, "It's okay, Edward. Let me go. Your family is here, they want to help you. I'll stay by your side, don't worry."

I felt his arms loosen.

And then he collapsed into Emmett's waiting hands. By impulse, I stared at the ground, taking interest in Edward's shoes. There was a slight swelling . . . oh shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! No wonder there was so much blood in his car. His own foot had a branch jabbed into it, and yet he couldn't feel it? What the hell?

My stomach clenched at the mere thought. The pain of his wrist and shoulder must be so terrible that he couldn't feel the stick protruding out his ankle. Or maybe he was trying to act as if it wasn't a big deal.

I wanted to shake Edward awake at the moment, but he was still passed out. Emmett carried his brother all the way to the house and I followed somewhat shyly. I didn't know whether to follow them, or to stay outside.

Nevertheless, Edward's good hand limped to the side and I automatically reached out to hold it. I gave it a gentle squeeze.

The events that happened after it came as a blur. Carlisle had asked Jasper to bring out his medical kit. Apparently, the doctor brought his work home. It was excruciatingly painful to watch as Carlisle tried to see how badly broken Edward's wrist was. Finally, Carlisle decided to make Edward use a cast. Then he moved on to the shoulder, which required him to cut off Edward's shirt.

Never, in my entire life, will I forget that moment. Edward's whole body was literally covered in scars. They were faint, and if the light was wrong, you'd barely see them, but they were _there. _Rosalie and Emmett were holding each other, consoling one another, because they knew the truth behind those scars.

It frightened me that it was Edward's own father who'd made him go through that pain.

Edward must have woken up when Carlisle had started on his shoulder. I found his emeralds watching me intently. He wasn't looking at anyone else, just me.

If Carlisle saw anything, he didn't speak. He only treated Edward's shoulder silently, doing his work in an orderly manner. I realized that he wanted this to be over with, he wanted to end it.

At last, at long last, Edward's injuries were treated. His right forearm was covered in a white colored cast, from his wrist all the way to his elbow. His shoulder was wrapped in gauze, and his entire left foot was covered in a brace. He didn't just get stabbed by the freaking stick, he got a sprained ankle as well.

And yet Edward took it head on. He didn't so much as wince when Carlisle told him he had to take it easy while showering, eating, writing, basically _everything. _He looked straight at me and asked whether or not I'd be willing to help him while he was in this condition.

Of course, who am I to refuse?

So I said yes. Big deal.

Deep inside, I felt my guts wrenching. Seeing Edward in this state made me wonder how he looked like the night after his father had pulled out the last straw. He must have looked a million times more vulnerable. I thanked my lucky stars Renee never dared to hurt me.

Edward's green emeralds stayed train on me the whole time, and I stared back, trying to send him waves of calm. His eyes looked tired, really tired, but frantic, as if he didn't want to close them. I scooted impossibly closer to him and squeezed our intertwined hands.

Emmett plopped down beside me, looking sober, while Rosalie sat next to Edward. She hugged him briefly. I tore my eyes away from them as they had their sibling moment, and watched as the others piled out the room. Well, everyone except for Jasper, who stayed behind, worry and uncertainty clearly written in his handsome features.

He walked over to where we sat, took Edward's hand from mine, and stroked it gently. "I'm sorry." he said, calmly.

Edward's eyebrows shot up. "For what?"

"Because . . . because had I not been so angry with you, I would have lost my brother already. You came this close," Jasper made a gesture in his hands, the one where the index finger and the thumb held minimal space between them, "To death. I almost lost you. Now that I realize it, I don't think I'll ever want to go through that anxiety and worry that you made me go through. So I'm really sor-"

"Jasper, this is _my _fault. I've been such a prick. I never took into consideration of any of your feelings," Edward was now talking to Rosalie and Emmett as well, "And I feel bad for shutting you all out when I actually needed you the most. Jazz, there's something you must know. And I don't know if . . . I don't know if you'll understand."

"I can try to."

There was an awkward silence. Then Edward looked straight at me. "Perhaps later. I want to take Bella home first." he said fondly and gave my hand a squeeze. My heart soared and I blushed.

"Hey! Isn't that Edward's sweatshirt?" Emmett suddenly cried, pointing at the sweatshirt I was wearing. I giggled and blushed, but nodded furiously. Emmett frowned a bit. "How is it that you let her wear your clothes while you'll growl at me whenever I try to borrow your belt?" he wondered out loud.

I gave Edward my best 'what-the-hell?' face. He appreciated it and burst out laughing. It felt nice to listen to his smooth, velvety ring, and pretty soon, I was laughing along with him. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper joined in later, chuckling quietly as they watched me and Edward.

"Hmm . . . I don't think I've been properly introduced to you, Bella." Rosalie smiled.

"Uh . . . no. You weren't." I chuckled nervously. "Well then, hello! My name's Rosalie, but I'd prefer it if you called me Rose." she stuck out her hand and I shook it, before getting tackled by her tender hug. "Chill, Rose. She might get a cracked rib!" Edward laughed though he sounded concern.

I hugged Rosa- I mean, _Rose, _back and gave her a hearty smile when we pulled away. Then Emmett towered above me. "Hi, I'm Emmett! Call me Em!" he boomed, which was probably meant to sound friendly. But I found it otherwise. Either way, it was impossible not to laugh and feel accepted when he gave me one huge, warm bear hug that sent me breathless. Rosalie's hug was nothing compared to this.

And then it was Jasper's turn. He gave me a normal hug, one that somehow had me relaxed. "Hello, Bella. I am Jasper, but you can call me Jazz. Pleasure to meet you." he said, giving me a warm smile. I returned it.

"Alright, alright. Now that we're done with the intros, can we please send Bella home now? I think she must be sleepy, and the Chief is probably wrenching his heart out trying to wait for her." Edward announced, before holding out his hand to me.

I smirked and stood up by myself, turning his gesture on him. "It's you who needs the help, Edward. Shut up and let me drive myself home. If you want to follow, go ahead, But bring one of your siblings along."

He pouted. I blushed. _Cute! Cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, cute! _

"Fine." he turned to his siblings, "How about all of you join me? Then we can have a late night snack at the Lodge or something. They're probably still open. Wait, do you want to eat at the Lodge with us before we bring you home, Bella?" At the last part, Edward turned to ask me.

I shook my head. All I wanted to do was to bury myself in my bed right now. He shrugged. "Okay then. So whose car are we taking?"

Rose, Em and Jazz looked at each other. "We'll take Rose's BMW." they all blurted out at once, and I found myself laughing at their randomness. They gave me a huge grin and laughed along as well.

I noticed Edward's hand still hadn't moved away from mine.

I tried to help him stand, but I didn't have to: Emmett was there, supporting Edward's weight easily. We reached Rose's car, but I didn't have time to gawk at it. I helped Edward get his seat-belt while he grumbled, muttering something about feeling like a kid.

I poked him in the side and leaned against his opened arms, resting my head in the crook of his neck. It felt easy, natural. Jasper sat beside Edward, who was squashed in between me and him. Em had the shotgun seat while Rose was driving.

Apparently, maniacal driving ran in the family. We were speeding towards my house at a hundred miles per hour. I admit, it's kind of scary when you're doing that in the middle of the night, but if kind of felt nice. Repeat, _kind of. _

When we got to my house, Edward demanded that he at least send me to the door. I couldn't disagree. His eyes were too persuasive.

"So . . ." he trailed off.

"So, what?"

"Am I really forgiven?" he mumbled, eyes casting down and looking at me through his impossibly long lashes.

I got distracted and ended up stuttering, "Well, yeah, d-duh, um, I . . . uh . . ."

It's stupid. I know. But what can I do? I'm hopelessly in love with the guy who may or may not love me back. Edward proved this point when he gave me a mega grin, showing off his perfect teeth, and wrapped his bad arm around my waist while the good one was burying itself in my hair. He inhaled my hair and breathed, "You know, I quite like strawberries."

"Mmm." Was all I could manage.

I heard the clanking of boots. Then Dad called out, "Bella?"

I sighed and hugged Edward closer to me before letting him go. "See you in school tomorrow." I bade him half-heartedly. "Oh, no. I'm picking you up. Or rather, Rose is picking you up and I'm just going to be tagging along, but still, you get the point." he said.

I felt a surge of excitement enter my tired body. "Really? That's great! Just honk when you want me out, okay?" I almost gave away myself when I blushed furiously.

He only ruffled my hair. I couldn't help but sigh again. "See you later, alligator." I told him and kissed his cheek. Okay, now that part, I was _so _not thinking of what else to do, so I just let my instincts take over. Oh man, now I'm thinking in convoluted sentences. Not such a good idea.

"See you in a while, crocodile." he replied and I thought I saw him blushing almost as much as I was. It must be the light though. Suddenly, he swooped down and planted one very chaste, but sweet kiss to my cheek. Then he landed another one on my forehead.

_Wow, two kisses in a row! Why didn't he kiss you on the mouth instead? _The cheerleader in me squealed in delight. _Shut up and let me enjoy the moment, twerp. _I growled at it.

He beamed at me and I beamed back before we simultaneously hugged each other. He wobbled off to the car and I opened my front door in rush before I sneaked one last glance at his retreating form. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it heavily.

I touched my cheek, as if I wanted to keep the feeling of his smooth and warm lips there, and felt myself blushing like crazy.

My heart was hammering, my whole face was flushed, my palms were sweaty, my eyes practically felt like it was shimmering. At that moment, my whole entire world shifted, and I knew there was no going back.

Yes, I was definitely in love with Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, my best friend.


	10. To Hell With Everything

_**Author's Note: Aaaaughhhhhh! 36 reviews for I'd Hate You, But I Can't! Who could believe it? Hoots! Sorry, sorry, I going crazy . . . but who cares? SUPER ULTRALICIOUS MEGA thank yous to Isabela Is Online, stormy315, Emoprincess98, AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234, thatxbaseballxgirl, maybebaby23, Emmettroxmysoxoff and fanfictftw23 for all the amazing reviews that you left! I admit, I'm touched by Emmettroxmysoxoff's review. That was really meaningful stuff that you said. :') And, um, this chapter was written hastily, especially the last part. Sorry! Okay, enough delays! If Twilight was your entire life, hey, the review button is always there! **_

_**~Serene.**_

_**Disclaimer: If I ruled the world, I'll make Twilight (and Edward!) mine. Too bad I'm not. =( **_

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

"Mmm . . . smells nice!"

Whirling around, I caught sight of short, wavy blonde hair. I breathed a sigh of relief as I gasped, "Jeez, Jazz! Don't you dare do that to me ever again!"

Jasper gave me a grin and peeked over my shoulder to look at what I was cooking. "Whoa. What the hell? Is that lasagna? Good god! We haven't eaten lasagna in five _years!" _

"Yeah, right. I saw you ordering the lasagna two days ago at the Lodge. Don't even deny it. I've got eyes behind my back," I laughed and swatted his finger away from tasting the hot, bubbling sauce. The aroma of it wafted throughout the kitchen, and it's mouthwatering smell had my own stomach rumbling. If Jasper was acting like this, as if he was being possessed by the sudden desire to take a lick of the stupid sauce, what more will Emmett?

They'll basically murder me if I don't let them take a taste.

But that will definitely spoil the mood of the meal! So instead of letting the chips fall where it may, I roughly shoved Jasper off my side with my good arm. He pouted at me and I just laughed in return.

"Meanie." he sniffed, and went ahead to seat on the kitchen counter.

"Thanks for the compliment." I muttered sarcastically, but deep down, I knew it was true.

I _was _mean. And he knew it too. Heck, almost everyone knew it. A person who wasn't mean wouldn't keep a secret from the people they love. Okay, maybe he did let in a few others in his secret, but the ones that he seriously cared for was left in the cold. Now _that _was a mean person.

I'm sure, if Bella was here, and was able to read my thoughts, she'll scoff at me and start heading into a lecture of me changing my entire personality, becoming kinder and kinder, yada yada yada. But really, even you know that I'm an asshole.

And don't even start on the 'no you're not' thing. Honestly. I've had enough of that from Rose and Bella.

The sauce was threatening to explode, so I returned to stirring it, leaning in to inhale the rich aroma of the juicy red sauce. It smelled great, but I think it needs a little more punch in terms of the flavor.

Hmm . . .

I eyed the pepper, debating how many pinches of it I should put, when Emmett's booming voice suddenly erupted from beside me. "Hey! Gimme that!"

I jolted, stiffening my back, before turning around to smack him on the back of his head. Rose, however, miraculously beat me to it. "Em! Shut up!"

"OW! Dammit, Rose!" Em cried, leaping away from me as if he got electrocuted. He rubbed his head gingerly with teary eyes. I laughed at him, before giving Rose a high five. "Now look who's lame." she teased.

I gave her a brief scowl before returning to the sauce. She was right. I was starting to be lame, like them. They must be rubbing off me.

Bella would definitely be rolling on the floor, laughing her ass out if she ever saw me high fiving my siblings. Or soon to be _not-_siblings. God, I'm speaking in convoluted sentences again, aren't I?

Either way, I reached over to the pepper and sprinkled about two pinches of it. Then, tentatively, I tasted it.

Oh, _heaven! "_Hey! That's so unfair! You get to taste it but I don't." Emmett sniffled. I gave him a toothy grin before switching off the fire. Turning to Jasper, I asked, "Jazz, help me out with this, will ya? Just take the other- yeah, like that."

As Jasper and I poured the sauce into a gigantic container, I made sure Rose had Em at bay. His expression was giving him away; he looked ravenous enough eat an entire horde of cows.

Then, after I poured the sauce, I went on to cook breakfast. The time now was 5:45 a.m. By the time breakfast was done, it'll be 6:15, which means if Em, Rose and Jazz showers and get changed into fresh clothes now, we'll be able to make it to Bella's house in about 7:00.

While the eggs I'd cracked settled themselves on the hot pan, I turned to my favorite siblings and barked out sharply, "Guys. Get changed now. We'll just eat on the way so that we'll reach Bella's house early. You do know that she wakes up at 5:30, right? So right now she'll be either in the toilet bathing, or she'll be eating breakfast. So she'll be getting ready to go to school in about 6:45. Now get your asses moving or I'll never be able to see Bella!"

Okay, now everyone, please forget I said the last part. Please?

Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper all gaped at me, doing perfect impersonations of fishes. I stared back at them before saying, "Guys! Move it!"

That's when they started to laugh at me. Like, really, really _laugh. _Not the ha-ha-ha type, but the HAHAHA! I could practically feel the house shaking with their laughter.

"Oh my gosh, Edward!" Rose said breathlessly. "I can't believe it! Th-that's so stalker-ish!"

"I know, right? Crap, dude, you're totally in too deep!" Em was bending over, leaning his huge hands on his knees, and literally bringing the house down with his loud laughter.

"I totally agree! Who knew the Great Edward Cullen could be such a romantic?" Jazz was shaking with laughter, his eyes, like Rose and Em's, were all scrunched up.

What? What do they mean? I don't get it. I glanced at the time: 5:49. No more time to lose. "Now that you all seem calm enough, GET MOVING!"

They followed me, eventually moving in a sluggish pace, while I glared behind their backs. Then I flipped the omelet and made sure it was brown enough.

By the time I was done with five big omelets, it was 6:10. I cut the omelets into smaller slices so that everyone could eat some of it, while I buttered toast at the same time.

I know, I know. It's all kind of amazing a guy can do all of this in a matter of a few minutes and with only one working arm. Quite shocking, really.

Then I placed some omelets and toast inside a big Tupperware and rushed up to my bedroom, where I got out of my men's tank top and karate pants, and into jeans, a white polo tee and of course, my signature leather jacket. I made sure I smelled okay before running back down the stairs to cover up the container of lasagna sauce.

Stuffing inside the fridge, I realized it was nearly 6:30. Damn it! Where the heck were my bloody siblings?

I flipped open my cell, typing out a message to Bella.

_Good morning, Sleeping Beauty! I just wanted to say that maybe I'll be slightly late for picking you up. Rosalie and the others are taking forever in the toilet. If we're not by your house by 7, get your truck and go to school. I don't want to be the reason why you'll be late. _

I made sure I sent it to the right person before taking another look at the time. It was 6:33.

As I paced about the kitchen, I glared at the stairs, wanting to scold my siblings for being so late. This was the first time I was actually picking up a girl, and it was Bella, no less, and they _had _to take their own sweet time in the freaking toilet. How could they? Like, seriously!

Growling in frustration, I rushed up to Jasper's room, which was the closest room to me, and peeked through the see-through door. Jazz's door was made of glass, with a curtain on the other side of it, so whenever he felt like it, he could just pull on the rope and _poof! _you couldn't see anything except that dirty white curtain of his.

And right now, I could see _everything. _

I froze.

Everyone was in there_. _As in, _all _of them.

Well, technically, Carlisle and Esme weren't, but Alice was, along with Rose and the others, but I had no idea what they were talking about. At that moment, I hated the fact that when Esme designed this house, she placed soundproof walls, doors and windows. At first, it was great, no one could hear anyone else and it was silent most of the time, yet at important times like this, they were so damn useless.

For example, I had no idea why Rosalie was waving her arms around in anger, her blue eyes trained on Alice's small, defensive body. Itching to know more, I stayed fixated on the scene in front of me.

What were my siblings fighting about? That's the million dollar question. Any guesses?

Surely, it can't be about me . . . can it? But how come I have this gut feeling it was?

Then Jasper's light gray eyes strayed to the door, and it turned alarmed as he realized I was standing there. Everyone followed Jasper's gaze, and stood stiffly as the fact that I was standing there, watching, sunk in on their minds.

I _knew _I should have waited downstairs.

Stepping into the room, I gave a little throat clearance. "Er, hi. Um . . . in case you haven't noticed, it's already 6:45. Bella's waiting for us, and I-" Surprisingly, it was Alice who interrupted me.

"Ha! See what I mean? He's been screwing that new girl and now he's acting all helpless because he needs a ride to that girl's place so he can fu-" Alice screamed, but got cut off.

"Don't you dare complete that sentence! Edward has changed!" Rose shouted back in response.

"Change, my ass! He'll never change! He was born that way!" Alice countered.

Oh shit. Shit! It _is _me who they're fighting over. Shit! I tried to mediate them by interrupting, "Hey, hey, that's enough now."

That was definitely a big mistake, because the next thing I knew, Alice got into my face and hissed, "Just shut up, will you? Stop acting as if you're turning out to be a good boy! Stop acting as if we're the one at mistake when in truth, _you _are the one who messed up everyone's life, especially mine! I've lost so many friends over you, Edward! And ninety nine point nine percent of them were just _using _me! How do you think that would make me feel, huh?

"You only know how to mess things up, you're so damn ungrateful, and you didn't even acknowledge our existence until now, when everyone is angry at you and you want someone on your side! You're such an asshole, you know that? An asshole _and _a bastard!"

Bastard_. Bastard. _

The word rang in my ears, blocking out everything else that Alice was screaming at me, and memories of that night came rushing back, this time unstoppable.

_The awful cigarette and beer stench._

_The edges of a book stabbing into my skin._

_The sharp ends of the broken beer bottle, stabbing into my skin, endless streams of blood flowing down my body._

_Daddy's face, etched in laughter and joy at my pain._

_His non-guilty face afterwards, when I was crawling away._

Everything, every single detail of my past, washed me through as if there was no end. I could see my old bedroom, where Daddy would take out his belt and beat me with it, the buckle making an impression on my skin. I thought of the picture I still kept. My family. My family that now laid in ruins.

I stopped breathing; my lungs ceased to work. I clutched my abdomen, because it seemed as though most of the pain was there. My body was folded in on itself, as if I was blocking out the pains of the abuse physically, when it was happening mentally in my mind.

Time lost itself as I took a step back and fell into the soft, red carpet of Jasper's floor. I curled into a ball, futilely trying to ignore the screaming and shouting that erupted my mind. I suddenly had an headache, I was getting dizzy from the lack of air. I felt something soft touch my head, but I ignored it and flinched back, imagining it was my father's hand.

And all of it killed me. It killed me to remember my past.

But it killed me more to know that I wasn't over it, and never will be, no matter how many people I tell. It was just useless. _I _felt useless.

Then I was sobbing. Crying. I didn't care about my siblings who were probably watching me. Is it possible not to breathe while crying? Well, I guess I proved that just then.

My body screamed for oxygen, but all I could give it was the painful stabbings that I was remembering.

I was a seven year old suddenly, wishing for Momma to come back to me. It was stupid, I know, but my mother was all I needed. And yet, as I pictured her kind face, the one that I've been born with, the painful memories shattered the image away, bringing to life my father's unforgiving face.

His long face, manly no doubt, with his black eyes glaring hatefully. His black hair slightly ruffled from the work of beating me. The way his stubble made him look even more menacing. And his nose, which was the exact nose I had.

All of it. They ran me over like a truck.

But there was nothing I could do. I was having a breakdown, I knew it, however I'd expected this.

Suddenly, my phone let out a shrill ring.

The ring . . . the ringing . . . And with a sudden urge, I flipped it open, finally taking in a teeny breath, then gasping in air like water. I hadn't realized I needed oxygen that much.

It was message, and it was from Bella.

She'd saved me from my memories. She'd saved me from _me. _

_Edward, _her message read, _you haven't arrived, so I took the liberty to head off to school first. You know . . . I have this awful feeling about you. There might be something bad happening to you, and I'm worried. Whatever it is, don't think about it too much, okay? If you need someone to talk to, I'm right here. Well, not really, since I'm not exactly beside you, but yeah. You get the idea. I'll meet you in school okay? Til then, take care, 'sweetie.' _

_-B_

And just like that, I was brought back from my horrors.

All because of Bella.

I need to thank her. I clutched the phone closer to my chest, and was aware someone was holding my head and my hands. All around me, I could finally hear whatever they were saying.

"-nap out of it! Edward! Quit it, now!" Emmett was shouting desperately. Suddenly, I could see his worried and freaked out face. I blinked, and then his face turned into Bella's. Her beautiful face, way beyond the universal standards, suddenly became worried. Her eyebrows were scrunched together, her mesmerizing deep brown eyes reaching deep into my soul.

At that moment, I knew that I was in too deep for my Bella.

They were right. I loved Bella.

And I have been loving her all along. That was the reason why I'd chased after her yesterday. I realized then that it was because of her that I'd changed. From the minute I caught her strawberry scent in English, the day I'd sworn myself to be bitter, she'd done the same thing without knowing it, but she was bringing me back to life.

And she did.

She utterly did.

Bella's face faded into Emmett's. Apparently, he was holding my head. "-ward! DAMMIT SNAP OUT OF IT!"

I blinked again. "Oh."

I heard multiple sighs of relief, then Rosalie hugged me fiercely, followed by Emmett. They were both lying on top of me, and I found it difficult to breathe. But I enjoyed it, nonetheless, and hugged them back.

I didn't find it in me to smile hugely at them, though. If you found out you were in love with your best friend, how in the world will you react? Definitely not congratulating the whole world, right?

But I definitely found it in me to say, "Thank you," to Emmett and Rosalie, who I could hear was sobbing their eyes out. They still hugged me though, and I was hugging them back.

Looking over to Jasper, I gave him a hesitant smile. Alice was a few feet away from him, her dark brown eyes confused. She didn't know what to make of it. No, she didn't know at all.

I wonder how long I spent holding two of my most favorite people in the world, no, universe, but it must have been long time. Eventually, Em and Rose pulled away, somewhat reluctantly, as they simultaneously asked, "Are you okay?"

I could only laugh.

Then I answered, "I am magnificent."

Up front, I could hear Alice scoffing. "So much for drama. Why don't you join the acting industry?"

Rose and Em turned to glare at her. Rose opened her mouth to say something, but Jasper, shockingly, beat her to it. "STOP IT ALICE, OKAY? YOU DON'T KNOW A THING SO SHUT UP!"

The loudest gasp came from Alice herself. She was freaking out, and she had reason. I know I say this a lot, but seriously, never, in my entire lifespan so far, have I ever hears Jasper shout. He was always the quiet one, the one at the background. He was the peacemaker, the one who understood what the other was feeling.

He was the calm one, the silent one. Alice was hyperactive, unable to sit still for ten seconds. I could only imagine what she was feeling, to be told to shut up by the one you hold most dear. Now I understood the meaning of love, because I felt as though my world was shattered, my soul floating off into space because the strings that held me were cut off.

Only to be replaced by one million, make that one _billion,_ steel cables. And it was all centered around my most loved one, someone who surpassed my own love for my mother, and that said something.

If I thought I knew love before, I was ultimately wrong.

But now wasn't the time to say think about these things. "Alice, please. Perhaps you don't feel it, but I am remorseful for my actions. You are angry, you hate me, I get it. But keep in mind that I really am changing. If you would just let me-"

"NO!" she shouted and gave me hateful stare. It sent me all cold, but Rose answered for me. "You can insult Edward all you want-"

Huh? I thought she was helping me out?

"-but don't you dare call him the b-word. He doesn't deserve that title ever. Perhaps you. You're the bitch here, Alice. You heard Jasper. Shut up, suck up the fact that no one wants to hear you anymore, and get lost."

"Rosalie," I sighed and squeezed her shoulder, causing her to look at me. "What?"

"Enough."

She sighed but nodded, leaning into my shoulder. I rubbed her back and looked at Emmett meaningfully. He seemed to understand what I was trying to convey.

Em took Rosalie off my arm and murmured some words to her. I turned away from them and stared at Alice's angry but tearful eyes. She was still giving the cold gaze, and it still hurt me, but not so much as before.

I started to say something, but Alice turned to Jasper. "Choose now, Jazz."

Jasper's eyes widened even bigger. It seemed as though he himself couldn't believe he shouted at Alice. "Choose?"

"Yes, _choose. _Me, or _him?" _she jabbed a finger in my direction.

Jasper's gaze turned pained. I chose that moment to finally say what I was feeling. "Jasper, don't. You love Alice and she loves you. You should be with the person you love the most, and that's Alice. It'll turn out okay for me, Jazz. I don't mind if you went ahead to be with her. You deserve her. You _need _her. Not me."

Now that's what I call an award winning speech.

He looked at me, then at Alice.

Finally, he spoke. "Al . . . no. I'm putting my foot down on this one."

"WHAT?" Alice gasped.

"WHAT?" I gasped as well.

"You heard me. I choose Edward. Like I said before, you don't know anything. Now, please. Leave." There was finality and a kind of hardness in his voice. It's as if he wanted all of it to end right now. Like Alice didn't matter to him, but I _saw _his expression. It was killing him to do it. And if so, why was he doing this?

Oh. My. God.

Now I sound like a sissy for saying that.

Although, WHO CARES?

Alice was silent, a feat deemed impossible, and then she whispered brokenly, "Fine," and she ran out the room, pushing past me, Em and Rose.

My heart broke out for her, and I wished that she'd let me explain myself, so that she knew the reason why I was the way I was. However, as I looked back at Jasper's impassive face, there was really nothing I could do.

If I could turn back time, I would. I'd make everything right, tell myself to open up more, tell the truth, and just prevent all of this from happening. It's my fault, all mine.

Then I thought of Bella, and all suddenly settled itself in my heart. For now at least. I knew what my priority was.

BPOV

I was really starting to get worried.

It's pass 7:30, and Edward and his siblings aren't here yet. I remembered the text I'd sent him. I hope it wasn't obvious through my message that I liked him. He'll be totally freaked out if he knew.

Maybe that's why he didn't reply. Maybe he already found out.

Oh god, oh god, oh god.

The parking lot was starting to empty. There was barely any students loitering around. Well, except for the emos. And the couples, who were making out. The nagging feeling I has ever since this morning heightened, and I bit my lip from screaming out in frustration. This sucks, man. I hated this. Edward, where are you?

But as I tapped my foot impatiently, in accordance with the ticking of the time from my watch, I found a familiar bronze haired boy getting out of a silver Volvo car and making his way towards me.

_Me. _

I saw his green eyes before I saw his existence. Something was different about him today. There was something in his eyes that I couldn't quite place. His posture was different too. I've never seen him so happy before. He looked like a ball of energy, all ready to explode.

And he was hurtling towards me.

Maybe I'm thinking like this because I'm actually wearing his sweatshirt underneath my hoodie with his old jeans. I just couldn't help it, I mean, the boy smelled great! If you had a nice, no, nice doesn't even cover it. If you had an amazing smelling best friend who happened to be a boy, and he gave you his clothes, you'll want to wear it everyday won't you? See! That's exactly what I'm talking about.

And then Edward started to charge himself at me.

Really charging. You could only see a blur of limbs.

Then he crashed onto me, and I laughed as he wrapped his long arms around my waist, as if it was meant to be there.

I could only inhale his perfect scent and smile wildly while laughing. I never thought I'll be this happy again. Sure, there was the complication with Leah, when we bumped into each other at breakfast, but the incident left my mind as I felt Edward inhaling my hair.

Whoa. Stalker-ish much?

Anyway, I sighed happily and leaned into his embrace. I didn't know what possessed him to give me a hug, but I certainly did not mind. Having Edward to hug you everyday is like having a bar of gold given to you every single freaking day.

Now you know how much I'm in love with him. Go on, make fun of me, I dare you.

"Hey." he breathed.

"Hello." I muttered. I peeked over his shoulder and saw Rose, Em and Jazz smiling at the two of us. I felt my cheeks flush, and looked down. It's one thing to get engrossed in hugging a guy like Edward, but it's another to see other people watching you engrossing.

Great, now I'm becoming incoherent again.

"So why're you late?" I asked him when we pulled away, minutes later.

He didn't answer at first, but eventually said, "Complications. I'll tell you after school. Now, why the heck is your hood not up?"

I gave him a grin. "Why? Do I look so ugly?"

He smiled back. "No. You look perfect."

_Da-dump! _Whoops. There goes my heart. "Shut up."

"Ha-ha, there's no way I'm ever going to shut up, you should know. Don't worry sweetheart, I think I might make an exception for you." he looked deep into my eyes and my heart went off like a hummingbird when he said 'sweetheart' again.

Aaah! What's wrong with me? Love is a crazy thing, I swear it is!

"Whatever. Let's go back to class, okay?" I rolled my eyes.

With gestured for me to walk on, and I totally forgot to pull up my hood. In fact, I walked through half the school without even thinking about putting my hood up. I didn't know where the confidence came from, but the stares were definitely getting to me.

Edward, on the other hand, glared at the boys who were ogling at me. He kept his hand around my waist. Not that I mind, it's just that it made the girls swoon even more at the sight of him. I felt possessive, I mean, come on! Can't they see? Edward's walking with me, not them! Apparently, stuff like this made the girls feel so romanced.

Ugh.

The day passed with Edward walking with me to my every class. He even went to the Main Office to get his schedule changed, just so it matched mine. Quite frankly, I was flattered. The whole day, my cheeks were flushing from his touch, and he seemed as calm as ever. He joked around with his siblings, who I found out were really nice and kind as well as humorous, especially Emmett.

They weren't all about looks after all. There were actually good looking people who didn't give a damn about what the others thought. I liked that. In fact, I _loved _that.

Edward forced me to visit his house again. Rose had to drag me to the car, and Em kept making jokes about me being attached to hip with Edward. Jasper kept quiet, but you could tell he was amused. I gave a fit, because I couldn't take my truck with me. And yet I went along.

Me and my feelings, indeed.

It turned out that Emmett was going to drive my truck while I was seated in Rose's BMW. I was able to see it properly, and the first thing I said was, "Holy shit, Rose. That's one hell of a car."

"Oh," she replied, "You should see Edward's Ashton."

My mouth dropped. Not even people in Phoenix had an Ashton Vanquish. I thought that it was even impossible to buy one! "But . . . wasn't it . . . you know, expensive?"

"Trust me, I have my way with people." Edward cut in, his emeralds sparkling in the dim light. It illuminated the whole place with it's radiance. Wow, corny much?

"You mean you have your way with _women?" _Jazz laughed. My heart skipped a beat, in the wrong way, and I frowned. Edward noticed, and he used his thumb to push the sides of my mouth up. "Jazz," he murmured in warning, frowning as well. "What's wrong, Bella?" he asked.

"N-nothing, Edward."

"Don't lie. I know when you're lying." he muttered.

"Can you please, _please, _not make a scene? Let's just go to your house first, then you discuss with me your problems. You told me you'll tell me, right? I hold you on to that, you know."

"Alright, fine. But after that, you'll have to tell me about Leah."

Shit. Leah. I forgot about her.

"Er, yeah. Sure, whatever." I blew it off, looking bored. Edward's lips turned down even more and I tried to give him a hearty smile. I wanted to cheer Edward up.

It worked, and he smiled back at me.

There. In his eyes. There's something there. What exactly is that? Maybe it's the light, or I might be seeing things, but I _know _there's something there. It's crazy to think of it that way, but yeah.

Getting into the car, I knew it was going to be one hell of an afternoon.


	11. This Is Madness

_**Author's Note: *Screams like mad* 42 bloody reviews for To Hell With Everything! I'm seriously shocked, I mean, come on! Are you kidding me, is this a freaking dream, because if it is, I don't wanna wake up from it! So I've got to give one of my popular SUPER ULTRA MEGA SIZED thanks yous to Isabela Is Online, maybebaby23, thatxbaseballxgirl, Emoprincess98, fanficftw23, em34 and the very flattering Emmettroxmysoxoff. The stuff that Emmettroxmysoxoff said had me a little teary. The words were so touching and inspiring it had me sobbing into my favorite sutffed dolphin (literally). I know, it's totally unglamorous but DAMN! Who cares? Oh, and this chapter is one to be reckoned, I can assure you. I'm not gonna spoiler or anything, but Carlisle and Edward will make up in the end, and Alice still has quite a bit of growing up to do. (I told you she'll be the most explosive character, didn't I?) As for Leah, her happy ending's coming soon, and you'll understand her character. For AxJ people, they'll get back together eventually. **_

_**And also, did'ya see the newest trailer for Breaking Dawn? KYAAA! I LOVED IT! Especially when Edward told Bella, "Last night was the best night of my existence." xD ExB all the way! **_

_**Now I am totally hogging the extra space for this Author's Note. Honestly, I get carried away with things – ah shit, here I go again. By the way, have you guys seen how many mistakes I did in the previous chappie? ****I ****certainly did. (Cringes) And, IMPORTANT: I may not be able to write a weekly update in the next following weeks, 'cos I still a freaking student, with exams and all, I have to seriously study or I'll fail. So please don't be mad at me if I don't update in a pretty long time. I promise it won't last for five weeks, I swear! **_

_**OKAY! Enough with this! If you dream about being Bella, complete with a bronze haired hottie named Edward right beside you, you're very welcome to press the review button! =)**_

_**~Serene. **_

**_Disclaimer: Edward, oh Edward, why can't you be with me? Oh, right, Stephenie Meyer didn't write me in her story. Damn it. ='( Now all I have is an nonexistent affair with the man of my dreams, a poster of Edward Cullen, and this plot. _**

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

Okay, so, to put things clearly, it was my heart, mind you, my _heart, _that acted on its own when I ran up to Bella this morning and hugged her for no particular reason. I couldn't help myself. See, I saw her first before she saw me. And I noticed that she was wearing the clothes I gave her with her hoodie down.

Progress.

Which meant she was moving on, getting off to a new beginning. Not that I mind being left behind to deal with my past, since I've found new inspiration to move along, but I keep wondering how she manages to do it. For instance, where did she get the confidence to walk through school without putting her hood up and hiding her face?

Perhaps I'm just being self-centered and a little emotional, but I have a gut feeling that it had something to do with me.

Okay, okay, I get it. I'm an asshole for thinking that. Now keep your mouth shut and let me finish my thoughts.

There was something wrong today. Sure, it was perfect, what with Bella being beside me and everything. But the thing was . . . it didn't feel the same. I sure as hell was happy, but were my siblings feeling the same way?

I had too many questions to ask them, especially Jasper, but I figured it wasn't the right time to ask him about his now broken relationship with Alice. Then there was Bella and her misconception with Leah, who was still staying at her house. Apparently, she didn't want to go back home to sunny Phoenix yet.

I didn't really know much, since that was all I could get out of Bella right now, (she insisted that I tell her my problems first, before she could spill about hers) and I don't want to force anything out of her. She should find the proper time to tell me what she really thinks, because that way, she'll be ready. It'll be a bonus point for me as well.

"Edward?" Bella's sweet, soothing and ultimately sparkling voice chimed from under my arm. She was holding my bad arm, tracing patterns on the exposed skin, raising goosebumps, and it was giving me a slight problem. She didn't know the hold that she held for me.

And because I couldn't resist her, I answered, "Yeah?"

She was quiet for a little while. "I'm just . . . what happened to you before we met? I mean, not your past, obviously, but I want to know what you did before you first told Emmett about your secret."

Rose, who was driving, gave me a sad smile in the rearview mirror, and Jazz sat stiffly. They would know how I'd acted before. All my stupid mistakes, all my recklessness, everything. They were there to witness it all along.

"I suppose . . . you should ask my family about that now, shouldn't you? I want to hear it from their perspective, too." I said gently before picking up Bella's trailing fingers on my forearm and played with them. I sneaked a glance at Bella's intrigued face and caught something. Was it sympathy? Empathy? Curiosity? Wonder? Only god knew what she was thinking.

I remember that I once told her I was a good judge of character. Right now, it seemed pretty difficult to judge what Bella's thoughts were. I was a good reader, able to read complicated signs on people's faces, and know what they were thinking just by those signs. It was a trait Momma passed on to me.

While Bella had an 'open book' face, sometimes it's as if she's shutting me out. I couldn't tell what the heck she was thinking.

Rosalie was the first one to talk, interrupting me from my own thoughts. "Bella, if we told you, you'll be scarred for life." she tried to joke. I grimaced, but kept my face turned down.

"Well, I wanna know." Bella insisted. I chuckled slightly at her stubborness, and looked at her. She was frowning.

I frowned as well.

"Alright. Well, to put things clearly, Edward was a total ass." Rose blurted flatly. Her eyes were agonized, and I knew it was killing her to say these kind of things about me. They were the truth though. There was no escaping from it.

"Yeah," I cut in. "A total ass. I used to screw every single girl that looked my way. Once I got what I wanted, I moved on. Eventually, when the all the hot girls of Forks ran out, I turned to Port Angeles, Seattle, Hoaquiam. I was going to parties every night, not coming home til it was late into the night, or even morning.

"Carlisle and Esme were one of the most supportive people I knew. They tried to understand, even if they didn't know a shmuck about my past, and did everything to help me. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough." I ended, but Jasper continued, talking to me instead of Bella.

"I remember the night before the Spring Dance. You told us that you were going for a party, like always, and Alice wanted Amber to sleep over at our house. But Amber didn't want to. She said that you called her up and that you wanted her to come with you to the party. So Alice watched her go. I remember that Alice said, 'I'm worried.'

"So we made a little bet. If you came home ruffled and drunk, with your clothes half worn, we'd know what you were doing with Amber. Then, when you came home that night, and Alice saw your little note to Amber, she freaked. You lost her another friend, Edward. I was wondering . . . why do you do what you do?"

My hands were trembling a little from memories of that night. But I was reliving it for another reason. "I was stupid, Jasper. I wasn't thinking straight and paranoia sort of clouded me wherever I went. I was freaked, and the only thing I could think of to escape my fear was to get as distracted as possible. That plan backfired though." I said, a little wistfully.

The car turned silent, Bella's hand curling around my arm, her neat little head tucking in at the base of my shoulder. She was leaning her head against me, trying to comfort me. I appreciated that.

Another reason to love Bella. She understood me so perfectly.

"But did you mean to make them feel that way, though? Did you want to play with their feelings, like, make them fall in love with you and then dump 'em when you've had your fill of taking them to bed?" Jasper interrogated. I stole a glance towards Bella. Her angelic face had a cute little crease in between her beautiful eyes. I wanted to smooth out that crease.

It seemed as though she was worried, worried for _me. _God, I did not deserve someone this caring.

"Like I said, Jazz, the only way I could think of to escape my past was to distract myself. When Carlisle and Esme told me they were going to disown me and send me back into the orphanage, it killed me. That night, I curled up on my bed and wept my heart out. I was holding a picture of my family . . . my biological family, before it was ruined. Emmett saw it before, while I was down with fever."

"Yeah, he told me. He said that it was a really old picture, taken from an old camera. But the people inside were the perfect image of a perfect family. He said that you looked so different in it. He said-he said that you looked . . . young. Young, and happy." Jasper was staring off into the distance, his eyes a million miles away.

Once again, the silence in the car indicated that we were deep in our own thoughts.

"So . . . you really loved your family, and you were afraid of committing yourself to a new but better one because you're scared to be let down? Is that it?" It was Bella, and her voice sounded confused.

I chuckled. "Somewhere along those lines, yes."

"Oh . . . then, all along, you've actually been loving them from afar?" she asked me.

Ah, shit. Now how am I supposed to answer that question without making myself feel embarrassed. I guess I'll take the risks, then. "Well . . . yes." Then my ears turned warm, and I shifted away from Bella.

"_Really?" _Rosalie and Jazz all said at once, their eyes wide in astonishment. I choked slightly. "_Duh! _Why the hell would I have threatened to kill those skirt-chasers of yours, Rose? And remember when Emmett was still a little squirt, and Mike and his stupid little gang would bully him? The day I found out about it, I literally hunted them down and punched them til my knuckles went red."

"But-but I thought that you were only joking about killing those stalkers!" Rose gasped.

"And I thought that it was Dad who stopped Mike!" Jasper gawked.

I let out a big groan. "I had to make you guys believe that, now, didn't I?"

"Then . . . that time when Emmett proposed to Rose, and you unknowingly walked in, you didn't tell a thing to Mom and Dad?" Jasper's voice dropped to a whisper.

I kept quiet, reliving that time. It was about six in the evening, and I'd had no other plans for the night, so I walked into Emmett's room, wanting to ask him out for a game of football. When I'd burst through the steel door that Esme built in for him, I saw him on his knees, with a ring that had an huge diamond on top of it.

I remembered that Alice and Jasper were there as well. Rose's eyes were gigantic with love and shock. Then when they heard my presence, they'd all but whipped me into the room, filled me in on the plan, and forced me to keep it a secret.

Of course, being confused and slightly disgruntled that they trusted me so much, I'd agreed.

Finally, I opened my mouth to say, "Yep. Haven't told a soul about Em's proposal. Right now, they still think that the two of them are girlfriend-boyfriend."

"Wow. No wonder Esme hasn't killed me yet." Rose mused.

"Yeah, it's a wonder." I laughed.

"God, Edward, you're so masochistic." Bella suddenly guffawed from underneath me. I turned my head slightly to look at her with my eyebrows raised. "Why the heck do you say that?"

"Well, you kept your love for your siblings afar, choosing them to make them hate you instead of understanding the reason why you're the way you are, you practically hide the fact that you still get nightmares from your past, and you always let yourself get hurt other so that the people around you won't. How can one not call that masochistic?"

"Um . . ." I trailed off, thinking hard. Damn it, she had a point. "But that's why I kept it all a secret. No one would like to be in on such a gruesome thing, now, wouldn't they?"

"Actually, it would have been better to know the gory details than to be kept in the dark." Jazz spoke up.

"What is this, are you guys ganging up on me?" I demanded.

"Mhmm. Now suck it all up," Bella laughed. Soon, we were all laughing, though her comment had nothing humorous in it. The tensed air in the car abruptly lightened, and I felt my heart soar.

Cheesy, I get it. You don't have to rub it in my face.

"So . . ." Bella sighed.

"So, what?" I asked.

"I was just wondering, you know, about the Amber incident. You seem as though . . . you already gave up on love." she whispered. I could see Rose straining to listen to us. Even Jasper, who wasn't one for gossip, leaned backwards casually.

"I wouldn't exactly say that, no. I haven't given up on love." _That's because you're the one holding my heart for me._

"Then if you're given the chance to love again, will you take it?" I caught her gorgeous brown eyes, melting in it's little orbs, reminding me of melted, sweet, and delicious chocolate.

"Of course." _Except, I would be lying, because my chance at love is seating right beside me in a freaking BMW that costs over a hundred thousand bucks. _

"Oh." she breathed, and her eyes turned sad. Her lips slipped into a slight frown, and I found her biting it slightly. Oh, sweet Jesus! Control, Masen, control! Don't you dare jump her right now! Don't you dare!

So, instead of kissing, nibbling, and practically shoving my tongue down her throat, I brought my fingers up to her lips, gently taking out the lip that she was gnawing on. It was red, and slightly chapped.

A new discovery, I thought. Bella's lips were slightly chapped, but then again, so were mine.

It turns out that Bella and I weren't heavy water drinkers after all.

"C'mon, sweetie, stop biting your lip. Sure, it makes you look cute, but you might bite it too hard and it'll be bruised. I don't want you to get hurt." I blurted out, unthinkingly, because my eyes were trained on hers.

Shit. SHIT! Way to go, Masen! Now you're making her think that you're a freaking stalker. The hell's wrong with you, man? What the hell?

Bella blushed, her high cheekbones flourishing with crimson red. I realized that this was the first time I really saw Bella blush. I made up my mind then to keep making her blush. It shall be my new mission, alongside with keeping my feelings for her controlled, until she was ready to love again.

But shit, keeping my feelings for her under control is already difficult. How can one hide a devastating love for his best friend? And what's more, it'll be even worse if she continues to wear her hood down, for the boys will keep on ogling at her.

Ah, screw it. Ogling? They're _salivating _all over the floor just by staring at her. Who knew what their thoughts were?

Oh, right. Me.

Ugh.

Sometimes, only being a best friend to the most beautiful woman in the entire universe could be so troublesome. I wish that I was her boyfriend, so that I'll have a claim over her, and she'll only be mine. No one else could even think about her that way.

Whoa. That's some pretty malicious thoughts for a seventeen year old.

"Sorry, sorry. I just can't help it; it's an old habit. And you know what they say, old habits-" she said, but I cut her off.

"-die hard. Yup, I've heard it before."

She gave me a rather toothy grin, one that I simply had to return. "Hey, hey, come on. Enough with the flirting in the backseat of my freaking car, guys. Who knows what that might lead to." Rose scolded playfully.

I turned to glare at her. "Shut up, Rose. And you too, Jasper. Don't even open your mouth."

"HAHA! NO! I just can't help it! For the few minutes that the two of you were talking, it was as if you were wrapped in a bubble, dude! You didn't even acknowledge our presence!" he gestured wildly towards himself and Rosalie.

"The two of you have some chemistry . . ." he remarked a little while later, staring at the minimal space between me and Bella. I looked at her blushing face and smiled. Score two for Masen!

"That's enough! Keep your mouths shut, will you?" I hissed at them, trying to keep the smile off my face. Bella's face were so warm that it heated up my arm.

Her head, surprisingly, was buried in my arm. She rubbed her face against my sleeve, and I think I might have caught some sniffing from her. Thank god for deodorant. Not that I have BO, but . . . anyway, you get the idea, don't you?

Jasper and Rosalie couldn't help another loud guffaw. I could already tell what they were going to say to me later. I smoothed Bella's hair in an effort to keep her happy, while I glared at my idiotic siblings.

So when we reached the house, and I'd stormed in to cook some snacks or something along those lines, I made sure I'd made enough for everyone, but served only for two people.

The looks of their faces when they saw how little there was on the plates were simply priceless.

"Hehe, payback's a bitch, guys!" I snickered evilly.

"HEL-_LO_!" Emmett boomed as he burst through the door. Apparently, he caught sight of the snacks I made. "Gimme some of that!" he yelped and lunged for the plate.

Bella and I ended up rolling over the floor, laughing, when we saw that they were literally fighting to the death for the little plate of grilled cheese sandwich. What could be so awesome about it, I swear, it's beyond me.

When Rosalie had won, waving the sandwich in front of the boys' faces tauntingly, she took a large bite out of it. "_Mmm!" _she sighed, her eyes closing.

Jasper and Emmett looked at each other sadly.

Bella, in turn, took one long look at them before asking me, "When, exactly, are you going to let them have their food?"

I grinned, "Never," and dashed towards the oven, where the sandwiches were hidden. Bella chased after me, laughing as she caught sight of the sandwiches moving into safer but higher grounds.

"Oh, come on, Edward! Give it to them!" she tried to climb over the kitchen counter, but I blocked her passageway. "Nuh-uh. After what they did to us in the car? No way."

"There's more sandwiches?" Em and Jazz suddenly spoke in unison, their faces lighted up with hope.

I was about to answer, when Bella _had _to say, "Yeah! There's loads of them! They're in the- _mmf!" _Before she could reveal the location of the sandwiches, I clamped my hand over her mouth.

"In the where? In the where?" Emmett asked Bella eagerly.

"Mmmmmm!" was all my dear Bella could manage. I could feel her small body shaking against mine as she fought the weight of my hand.

Then Jasper pushed past me, forcing me to take a trip down the floor, and barreled up the counter to the topmost cupboard, which, by the way, now contained the stupid sandwiches.

"Aha!" he barked out triumphantly.

I held my stomach, took a deep breath . . .

And burst out laughing.

Pretty soon, all of us were laughing from the senselessness of it all. I mean, seriously? Who knew my siblings would fight over some grilled cheese sandwiches. And right in front of Bella, too! I wonder what she's thinking now. Probably about the fact that I was adopted into a lunatic family who went after grilled cheese like it was a pot of gold.

"O-okay! E-enough of that!" I gasped, and got to my feet.

I tried helping Bella up, but she didn't need any help; my little Lois Lane. As if I'm Superman or something.

Which, I might actually be, considering that I've been through so much abuse.

While my siblings and Bella ate, I contemplated the ways on how to tell her about Alice. I didn't want Alice to sound like a bad guy, she had a reason to hate me. I've taken away her brother and sister, now I've taken away her only love as well.

You'd think she's a bitch for not trying to understand me, but the things was, she _did _try to, many years ago, when we were still adolescents. You know, semi-short, pimply, thirteen-year-olds.

I just wasn't man enough to tell her everything, and that caused our relationship as brother and sister to crumble. It was only a matter of time that Alice would be totally mad at me.

Yeah, you heard right. She wasn't like this before. She used to be bubbly, energetic, one deadly missile of menace whenever it came to shopping. She had major humor going on in her personality, was sarcastic, a good listener. She was my most favorite sister. She used to be my everything. She mattered to me, and she still does.

My problem was getting her to listen to me _now, _after I've torn away a perfectly good friendship between her and Amber.

Give me some Calculus problem to work on, no problem. I'll solve it. Give me some thick, old, and classic book to read of Literature, I'll go ahead and gorge myself over it.

But I think that making my most favorite little pixie really, really mad at me was one thing I'd have difficulty facing.

BPOV

Rose, Em and Jasper were all right. Edward's cooking was absolutely _divine. _Nothing could compare to this, not even my on cooking.

Wow, if Charlie knew how good Edward's cooking was, he'll definitely approve of him right away. But it's not as if Edward would like me or anything . . . he just told me not too long ago he'd take another chance at love, but not soon enough.

That means I'd have to wait. For him.

I know, I know, I sound like an hopelessly love-sick person, but if you sincerely loved a person with all your heart, with absolutely no more room to fit in tiny crushes, you'd seriously think in the same way.

For now, I think I'm pretty content with the way we were. Because truthfully? If Edward and I . . . if Edward and I were to really become more than friends, (and I surely wouldn't mind _that) _I'd like to be able to take it slow. You know- slow. The one where you don't go kissing the minute that the object of your admiration admits he loves you, but the one where you go on dates, do little things like hold your hand or hug you.

That type of slow.

See, I've always been one to not dwell deep into relationship. Being an ex-cheerleader, I knew that there were unspoken rules about the type of relationships you went through. Rule number one: Never, _ever, _be with a guy for a whole year. People would see it's your weakness, not wanting to be wild. They'd brand you as a coward.

In Phoenix State High, it was worse.

Rule number two: You should not, repeat, _not, _be a virgin by the time you reached eighteen. For example, I'm only seventeen but already I've lost my virginity unwillingly to a one night stand. But keep it a secret, will you? It's crazy, trust me. But big city high schools are like that. If you're a cheerleader, you're expected to be a playgirl, a bitch, a fakey.

That's another reason why I quit and moved to Forks. I just didn't find it in me to be the girl everybody thought I was.

So, I seriously thank god for the remarkable boy that helped see me through my dark secret about Jacob. I didn't even think about the poor boy that died almost as much as I did back then. When Edward came into my life, it's as if he brought with him the real me.

I think fate played a large role in this as well. Oh well, not that I mind.

"Edward?" I whispered his name, looking around me in the dark room. Why was I even here in the first place? Oh, right. It was Em's greatest idea to watch a movie in Edward's room. What were we watching again?

Oh, yeah. _P.S. I Love You, _starring Hilary Swank and Gerard Butler. I was a little teary, saddened by the emotional climate of the movie, especially since it was played in High Definition. Edward had flipping awesome DVD player, let me tell you.

"Hmm?" he murmured from somewhere across the room. Rose had dragged me over to where she was seating, because she didn't want to be the only one crying at the end.

"C'mere for a bit, will you?" I whispered hoarsely.

"Sure thing," he chuckled, hearing the pain in my voice, and moved towards me. I felt his strong arm going around my waist, and my hear thudded painfully.

Shit! Shit! Too close, too close!

But, holy crow, I could practically feel his rock hard abs against my back. My cheeks were burning so much that I wondered if I could boil an egg on them. He must have heard my silent tears, because he asked, "You're crying over some stupid movie?"

"It's not just a movie, Edward." I scoffed and shifted slightly. It may be nice to have someone as hot and crazily handsome as Edward hold you, but it's another to feel yourself being squashed in between his long legs.

Yum.

Wait, what did I just think? _What _did I just think! Oh damn, now I'm imagining him shirtless! NO! Think of something else, Bella, think of the movie! Yes, think of the movie! Think of . . . think of brain tumor. Yes, think of Gerard Butler dying!

And then my stupid tears began flowing endlessly, since I thought of Gerard's character's poor death. But really, to have a guy as fit as Gerard die in that movie almost seemed criminal.

Almost.

But compare him to Edward, and it's a lost cause. At least _I _already know what side I was going to be in.

"Oh my god, you're seriously crying!" Edward laughed, rubbing the tops of my arms as comfort. Wow. I quite like the feel of his hands. For a second, my tears stopped. Then I remembered that we were supposed to tell each other about our problems.

Furious, because he'd succeeded in his plan to distract me, I shoved his hands off me coldly. It was one thing to love someone, but it was a wholly other thing to not be trusted enough for your love to share his problems with you.

I heard Edward's jaw go astray. This was probably the first time I was mad at him. "Edward." I said his name again, this time with fury and ice beyond recognition.

Ugh. I was so damn confused! Why would he not want to share his problems with me? I mean . . . after being so close to him all afternoon, _this _is what happens? I know I sound bitchy now, but I really, _really, _hate it when people do that; distracting you from all the important things.

"Bella? What's wrong?" he asked me.

I heard Em, Rose and Jasper shuffle a little, before they started to move away from the room. As the door opened, and light streamed in, I caught sight of Rose's grim face. She looked guilty . . . but then again, so did the rest of his brothers.

Screw it. I don't give a damn.

Since I had no idea where the switch for the light was, I demanded for Edward to open it. He did, and I glared at his too-handsome face angrily when I could finally see it. "What's wrong, Bella?" he asked once more, this time his voice barely laced with sadness.

So he knew then. He knew I was angry. However, _duh! _Wasn't it obvious enough in my voice?

From behind me, the door closed.

"Spill. Everything. _Now." _I hissed, my fists clenching and un-clenching. I was trying to relive the madness, but nothing I seemed to do was enough to satiate it. I didn't know why I could go from feeling so happy, to furious, within one sudden realization.

"Spill what?"

"Oh, please. Don't try to act all innocent with me. You were trying to distract me, weren't you? You were trying to keep my mind off your problems by making me feel so-" I cut myself off abruptly, immediately turning away from his suddenly questioning face.

It was just my luck that he did not answer.

"Well? If you didn't want to tell me that much, why didn't you just say so? I hate it when people do that, you know? They just sway you away from the more significant things, then when you realize it much later, there's nothing you could-"

"Bella. Listen to me," Edward quickly interrupted. "I wasn't planning on distracting you or whatever. I swear, I wasn't. I got too caught with the flow of things that I totally forgot about Alice-" This time, Edward was the one to snap his mouth shut.

"Alice? What does your problems have to do with Alice? Unless . . ." I trailed off suggestively.

"Unless Alice _is _my problem." he finished, looking to the ground.

And just like that -_poof!- _my anger was gone. I watched as Edward sat down on his black leather sofa.

Yes, I get it, who owns a sofa in their own bedroom? But right now, there are more pressing matters to attend to. "Edward?" I whispered his name once more. His magnificent green emeralds, the most intoxicating shade of green I'd ever seen, washing me through, reading my soul, reading my mind.

"Sit with me." he sort of ordered, and patted the empty space beside him. So I sat. And waited.

"This morning . . . Alice got into a fight with Rosalie and the others," he breathed, "they were fighting over me. Alice was just trying to tell them how wrong they were to side with me, to even _be _with me, and the others . . . they didn't agree on that. So when I told them to stop, Alice got into my face and said some really weird stuff-"

"Weird as in 'mean?'" I interrupted. His silence spoke another sentence for him.

"So then I got real emotional and, well, Jasper sort of saw it. He knows everything about me now, too. So he broke up with Alice, and now that I think about it, Alice does have a point. In a few months, Carlisle and Esme will have the disownment papers ready. I'll officially be a Masen again." he said moodily.

My heart literally went out for him. I held his hand, knowing that nothing I would say will make him lose his problems or warring emotions.

Then his green emeralds looked at me. "What about you? How's Leah?"

I grimaced. "She's . . . better, I guess. This morning, I ran into her during breakfast. She looked awful, Edward. Living after a three hour relationship can be hard, you know. I've been through that before . . . and I know that Leah has been as well. She said an awful lot of stuff at me-"

"What stuff?" Edward questioned, his voice hard. I gulped.

"S-she said that she didn't understand why I was getting everything that I wanted, even if I did nothing about it. I mean, she has point doesn't she? I did nothing, but here you are, in front of me, as my lo-, I mean, best friend." I was a bit flustered when I nearly said my 'love'.

"Me? You think you don't deserve me?" he gasped, his eyes going wide.

"Of course! You're the most humorous, connective, emotional and interesting person I've ever met, Edward. And I'm . . . I'm just a bitch. I'm a fake person. I live my life on the opinions of others."

"That's not the Bella that I see now." he growled. Was that-was that passion in his voice?

"If that's the case, who exactly do you see?" I asked hopelessly, looking down at my hands, feeling the tears coming back. And this time, it wasn't about the bloody movie.

"I see someone caring. I see someone so compassionate, it rivals my own mother's compassion. I see beauty in it's physical form. I see paradise, I see happiness, I see trust, faith, _love. _I see _you, _Bella." he whispered, his index finger going straight to my chin and coaxing it up.

Screw it. Screw the fact that I didn't want to move too fast into a relationship. I looked up, meeting with his brilliant green eyes that burned straight into my my own. I felt tingles then, electricity filling in the space between us. I could _feel _a strange current running from his finger to my chin, then towards my whole body.

I shivered with delight.

A memory burst through my eyelids. It was from the time when Edward had dropped me off after I spent the evening with him in the Lodge, where I sung and he played the piano. He was about to kiss me then, but I'd prevented it form happening, because I didn't recognize my feelings for him.

But now that I do, will he pick up from where he left off?

"Bella . . ." he whispered my name.

"Yes?" I answered, my heart hammering behind my ears, blood rushing to face, coloring it into a whole new shade of red.

For an instant, I saw Edward's expression; it was hesitant, reluctant, doubtful. His eyes were glazed over, his straight nose a little wrinkled from thinking too hard. His lips . . .

Oh, his too-kissable lips. If Edward and I got together, I bet I'd be kissing those lips every second of the day.

"You're beautiful, Bella. Please do not doubt that." he whispered pleadingly, wanting me to understand this. I couldn't help but melt.

Holy crap. I may have fallen even deeper in love than I've already been.

"I won't." I replied solemnly, then stared intensely into his eyes. After a while, he began to smile, and I smiled back, somewhat thrown he didn't kiss me. Maybe I was over-thinking things too much . . . but seriously, I didn't give a damn. All that mattered now was that Edward viewed me as someone else, someone he claimed to be _me._

I think I like that.

I think I like that a _hell _lot.


	12. Confessions

_**Author's Note: OHMY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! 55 freaking reviews for This Is Madness? You people are craaazzzzyyy! Not that I'm complaining though. But shit, that's a hell loads of reviews! It even surpassed my other stories' reviews! Thank you all so, soooo much! An ULTRA LARGE SUPER MEGA SIZED thank yous to AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234, scareDcat, maybebaby23, thatxbaseballxgirl, fanficftw23, Emoprincess98, Slyvia Cullen, an Anonymous reviewer, booklover311, and of course, the very tear jerking Emmettroxmysoxoff. I honestly cannot believe all the kind and awesome stuff all of you said. It seriously tugged at my heartstrings (I know, corny much?) But anyways, on with the story! So . . . if you're concerned when E&B are gonna be together, don't worry, it's sooner than you think it is. And as for Alice and Jasper . . . they'll be back together, eventually. =( Now that that's done, I'm pretty sure you wanna get out of reading this boring A/N, so scroll down, and start reading! =) And if you ever dream of being Edward's wife, the review button is just right there! **_

_**~Serene. **_

_**Disclaimer: Twilight is my world, Twilight is my life, Twilight is my existence, but Twilight is not mine. Haha, poetry much? xD**_

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><p><span>EPOV<span>

There's a hell load of things that I wanted to do during the time Bella and I were lying on my couch, looking at each other really intently. Majority of it was to kiss her. But I held back, because I was scared she'd decline me, push me away, and then as stupid as that, the only person in the whole world that really understood me would be gone.

And that's probably why I wanted to make sure she was ready to love again. I've seen the way she talks about Jacob, the dude that-_cough-_died for her. She always looked animated, excited, a Bella different from the one I knew.

I know that, up until now, she was still in love with Jacob.

"You want to watch another movie or d'you want to head off into town, loiter around?" I asked her, squinting at the number of DVDs I owned. Damn. I've had so much stuff to watch, and only now did I realize it? I must be a frog in a well.

"Hmm . . ." she hummed, looking at the DVDs. "I think I'd prefer it we drive 'round town. You know, there's still half of it that I haven't seen yet, and that includes La Push Beach."

"La Push? Are you kidding me? It's useless to go there now! Not to mean any offense, but seriously, it's the raining season now, so it'll be-" Bella interrupted me.

"As if there _isn't _a rainy season here," she muttered, her face scowling at my dark gold carpet.

I laughed at her, "You don't like Forks very much, do you?"

"I don't like the _weather." _she corrected.

Simply staring into her penetrating gaze, I was starting to feel a build-up of laughter inside of me. "If you hate the rain so much, why d'you move to the rainiest town in the entire, continental US?"

Bella scoffed slightly. "Well . . . the town had this sort of-I don't know . . . I guess it has charisma. It attracted me, and all the people around here are like, super close to each other, you know? In Phoenix . . . other than the fact that it's a huge state, the people there don't even know the names of our neighbor. It's as if we don't even care. I guess that's another reason why I moved here."

"Seriously? That's how you live in Phoenix?" I asked, doubtful.

"Yep. Very serious. I suppose all the people living in big cities or states live like that. How about you? I thought you once lived in Illinois."

"Erm . . . yeah. I forgot which town it was, but I do believe that me and my neighbors got along fairly well. I guess it's different for every state."

"You've got a point. I still prefer Forks' hospitality, you know." Bella informed me, and I chuckled.

"Okay, okay. D'you still want to ride around town or what?" I teased, poking her in the shoulder. "Fine, Mr. Grumpy-Pants. But I'm driving." she said rather sternly.

"What? No way!" I protested.

"Uh-huh, yes way. I'm not going to let you drive with one arm. What are you, crazy or something?"

"Or something," I laughed and handed her my keys unwillingly. As she reached for it, I snatched it back. "You better take _extra _care of my baby, okay? If you don't . . ."

"If I don't?" she was tapping her foot impatiently now.

Damn it. I hadn't thought of an answer to my threat. "Uh . . . I'll tickle you to death?" Oh, God! It ended up sounding like a freaking question!

Bella only rolled her eyes as I watched her shoulders shake with surpassed laughter. "Very mature, Edward. As if you can catch me."

"Why? Do you want to try?" I said seriously, because I'd really carry it out. "Um, no. No thanks. I'll be perfectly fine with no laughing fits." she told me, her cheeks slightly red.

I wonder why.

"Alright. You win. Let's roll." muttering that last sentence, I gestured for her to start walking. I'd like to say that right now, I'm trying very hard to be a gentleman, you know, earn more points for myself in Bella's perspective. Somehow it felt natural, as if I've been doing it all along, or at least, I _could _have been doing it all along.

Jeez. I wonder how the heck my siblings could even forgive me after I was such an ass towards them. It's seriously unnerving, the way they forgave me so fast.

As Bella and I headed down the stairs, I caught some muffled noises from Carlisle and Esme's room. I stopped for an instant, letting Bella walk off without me, and listened hard to the voices, or rather, _voice, _that came from behind their door.

_"-not now when all of our children seem so happy with him!" _It was Esme, and she was arguing.

There's a silent moment before she spoke in a rushed tone, "_I don't care. Did you see the look on Emmett's face whenever we talk to him? It's as if he's protective of Edward or something along of that sort! And Rosalie, I have not seen her utterly so compelled towards Edward before. Now even Jasper! Like I said, I don't care okay? We're not going to-"_

"Edward?" Bella called from downstairs. Swiveling towards the beautiful sound of her voice, Esme's conversation was immediately cut off, replaced by Bella's sweet tone.

But just as I turned, I came head to head with a tiny, black haired pixie. "Eavesdropping, Edward?" she scowled hatefully at me.

I gulped. "Uh, actually, I, um-"

"Oh, please. Keep your excuses to yourself asshole. I don't want to hear them," she interrupted, "Listen. You stay away from my family, even though you're the first one who was adopted, and stop playing whatever sick, useless and pathetic game you're playing. It won't work. Before you can even destroy my family like you've destroyed my life, I _vow _to stop you."

"I-" once again, I got cut off, but this time it was Bella.

"Edward? What are you-_oh_." Bella was walking back up the stairs when she saw me and Alice, all tensed and with earnest faces. Then Bella hardened her chocolate embers and walked to my side confidently, taking hold of my hand and rubbing her small thumb against it in circles. She looked up at me, gave me a brilliant smile that said: _Well? What are you going to do now? _

I cleared my throat and smiled back equally, hoping she'd understand the meaning behind my smile. Then I looked away before I could lost my wits and kissed her. "Alice-Bella, Bella-Alice." I introduced the two of them to each other. I know, lame right? But it was the only thing that I could think of that my mouth opened up to say.

Surprisingly, instead of throwing a major tantrum at both Bella and I, Alice simply stared at our interlocked hands, before looking up at me, her dark brown eyes deep in thought. Beside me, Bella raised her hand for a handshake.

Alice stared at it, unsure of what to do, since this was probably the first time someone ever asked to shake her hand. See, Alice's so called 'friends' never shook her hand the first time they met her. Instead, they gave her a once-over, grinned a fake smile, and reached out to hug her. It was really stupid, if you asked me.

And Alice being Alice, well, let's just say that sometimes, she can be really gullible. Sometimes.

So Bella laughed openly and waved her hand leisurely around Alice's astounded face. "This is the part where you're supposed to be shaking my hand?" Bella grinned at her.

"Uh . . ." was all my favorite sister could manage, which shocked me even more because she was a freaking word _queen. _

"Here, it goes like this," Bella smiled wider and let go of my hand to pick up Alice's. Bobbing it up and down, it looked really weird but funny. I began to relieve some of the stress I was feeling by laughing at them. Only Bella and her antics could make me feel that way.

When Bella finally returned to holding my hand, even Alice was cracking a smile. My heart warmed a little at the sight of her pink lips being pulled up at the corners.

"Edward? I thought you wanted to head off?" Bella asked me, turning the full force of her eyes on me. Damn it. I wasn't prepared for it, and now my knees were going weak.

Oh for crying out loud. Aren't girls supposed to feel this way?

Momentarily stunned, I forced myself to speak comprehensively. "Yup. D'you wanna go now?"

She nodded.

"Okay. See you later Alice." I bade to my little sister, and watched as her eyes went a million miles away. Bella gave me a 'what's-wrong-with-her?' face before leading me to my own car.

As Bella revved up the engine, and I sat idly on the passenger seat, she sighed. I turned to look at her. "What is it?" I asked, searching her face. She was distressed, confused and most of all . . . compassionate? Huh? What was that doing there?

"I don't know. It's just . . . Alice looks like a really nice person."

"She _is _a nice person." I protested in favor of my sibling.

"Yeah, I know, I get it. It's just that, well, she looks really upset with you, and I can't help but feel . . ." Bella snapped her mouth shut, immediately triggering one of her easy blushes.

Now that got me even more intrigued. "Can't help but feel what?" I asked her, using my good hand to wrap around her tiny chin. God, she seemed so fragile under my hands that I simply _have _to be gentle with her. She looked up into my eyes, her gorgeous brown eyes digging deep into my soul, searching . . . always searching but never seeming to find anything that made sense to her.

I can say pretty much the same thing about her eyes.

Since Bella had an incredible talent when it came to dazzling people, dazzling _me, _I tried to turn the tables on her. "Won't you tell me, Bella? Won't you tell me how you feel, sweetheart?" I tried to make sure my eyes were wide, but not wide enough that it was popping out of my skull. I also tried to look as intense as possible.

Wow, did the air-conditioning in the Volvo just broke or what? It felt like a hundred degrees in here!

"Uh, I, um . . . I . . . eh . . ." Bella was at a lost for words. Whoa, the whole dazzling thing might really work. I mean, I've tried to dazzle people before, but all of them say I look kind of . . . like a freaking mountain lion with all the intensity of my stare. They told me it freaked them out.

But for Bella, and from the lovely bright crimson shade of red that now colored her cheeks, my stare must be almost as penetrating as hers was. "Bella?" I whispered her name, moving my right hand to cup her cheek and brush against the warm, silky smooth skin there.

"Breathe, Bella." I told her, alarmed when I couldn't hear her quiet breaths anymore. Our faces were so close, only an inch apart. Okay, maybe not really an inch, but maybe around three?

She struggled a little, and the end result came out as her gasping in deep breaths, and me, laughing at her cute, scrunched up face. "Cheater." she accused me when she could finally talk properly.

"Look who's talking." I chuckled, biting my tongue in an effort to keep from laughing aloud.

"Oh, so you're admitting that I mesmerize you too?"

I made sure there was a significant silence before leaning in and touching her nose with mine. God, didn't the Eskimos called that a kiss? Well, that would mean I was kissing Bella right? Because our noses are touching and I'm rubbing it slightly against hers?

I closed my eyes. I could tell she was closing hers as well. Her breath caressed my face, the sweet scent reminding me of fresh strawberries. I guess that's her scent. Strawberries, red(sometimes pink), beautiful to look at, and sweet in the inside, just like Bella.

"Yes, you _mesmerize _me so much," I whispered truthfully. Her breath came out in a rush, and before I could do anything harsh or stupid, I had to get away from her mind-blowing breath. I would be too addicted to it. Imagine, if her breath smelled heavenly, what more the taste?

Great, what a nice way to end romantic scenes, Masen.

After that little scene of ours, Bella drove around the parts of town that she knew: Thirftway, the Lodge, the Newtons' Sports Store and our school, of course. I was surprised. It seemed as if Bella hardly did any exploring.

"So you turn left, yeah, just around that corner beside that inn, and you'll reach the local cafeteria. Trust me, their frappucinos are beyond anything else. Top that with the New York Cheesecake they sell, it's the perfect summer getaway place." I told her, and she earnestly followed whatever I said. We pulled up in front of the cafeteria, Bella coming out of the car looking apprehensive.

"What is it?" I asked her. "Scared?" I taunted when she didn't reply.

"Nah, it's just . . . I remembered that Jake used to love drinking coffee. He always brought lattes and cappucinos in this little thermos he had. I used to think it was pretty cool . . . and cute." she admitted, her eyes turning sad.

This triggered my alarm. "Hey, if you're feeling uncomfortable for coming to a place like this, I think we can always go elsewhere."

She shook her head. "No. I don't want to run away anymore, Edward. I need to face my past, just like what you're doing now. Phoenix, Leah, and Jacob . . . they were all from my past, and they created bad memories for me. _I _created bad memories for me. But if I face it head on, and I try and sort it out, I can turn them all into good memories."

I was definitely starting to become like Mr. Elastic. My mouth hanged all the way to the rocky, mossy ground. "Oh." was all I could say.

Bella grinned, and tugged on my arm as we entered the little cafeteria.

Okay, fine, I'm not doing it any justice, since this cafeteria was all about drinks, drinks, and more drinks. But whatever, you know? "Whoa!" Bella gasped as she glanced up at the menu. I laughed at her gobsmacked expression.

"Even the cafes in Phoenix don't have this much drinks. Gosh, they all sound so nice! Ooh! They even have a freaking Strawberry ice-blended snow shake that comes with mint leaves! Edward, look! They have a mango and an orange smoothie as well! And, oh my god, is that a _tropical fruits cooler? _Well? Is it?" Bella cried excitedly.

I began to laugh real loudly. People were staring at Bella, and she didn't even notice that they had calling the mental institution on their minds. Man, I can already see it! _"Hello? Is the the Institute for Mental Health?" _a woman would whisper. _"Yes, what can we do for you, ma'am?" _the receptionist would reply, then the woman would begin telling the tale of an overly enthusiastic teenager bobbing around in over-sized clothes, shouting her head off at the various exotic drinks that Forks sold.

"Calm down, sweetie. You're scaring the locals." I laughed around my hand, which was futilely trying to block my laughter.

"Okay, okay, sorry. I just couldn't help myself. I've never seen so many interesting drinks before. I mean, ice-blended pink guava? Are you kidding me?" she looked at me, her eyes as huge as plates.

I cracked up again. "Alright, alright. We'll come back here every other week or so for you to drink all the drinks."

She shook her head again, her mahogany curls shaping perfectly around her cherubic face. "Nu-uh. We're coming here _everyday. _There's no way in hell I'm ever going to finish all the drinks written here in a thousand years, much less a lifetime."

"Whatever you say, Commander." I mock-saluted her and gestured for her to line up. I ordered my usual frappucino, while Bella, having more difficulty than I did in terms of picking a drink, tried to make up her mind between the ice-blended papaya and green apple. When the cashier finally got irritated, he snapped at Bella to just buy both of them.

"Insolent little jerk." Bella cursed under her breath. Just as the cashier turned away from us to make the drinks, Bella stuck her tongue out at him. Then she looked guilty, and then mouthed, 'sorry', to the guy, who was still making the damn drinks.

I couldn't help but laugh once again. Did you notice how much I laugh whenever I was with Bella? _I _surely did.

As the cashier tallied our total, me and Bella argued about who was going to pay. I wanted to pay, simply because I wanted to shower Bella with things that she loved, and Bella on the other hand, wanted to pay simply because she didn't want to owe a debt to me. I swear, she was a weird way of translating things.

Finally, the cashier got so fed up with the both of us that he growled that we'd get it for free. I think it's because of the fact that Bella was simply irresistible, and also because the line behind us stretched out all the way into the street. The looks of their impatient, furious and completely grumpy faces said it all.

Bella and I chose the seat in the back, where no one could see us, but we could see everyone. "Wow. Free, huh?" I laughed at Bella, my cheeks slightly flushed from laughing too much. Not that I regretted it.

"Yep. Now shut up, and let me enjoy my drink." she ordered, closing her eyes and taking a sip of the papaya. "Mmm." she sighed in contentment. I myself took a huge gulp of my drink, watching Bella as I did so. Her eyes abruptly opened. "Wow! That was awesome!" she complimented to no one.

I waved my frappe at her. "You want some?" I asked.

She stared at my bitten straw. "You bite your straw?" she giggled, music filling in my ears for the _n_th time today. And it was only five in the evening. I nodded, embarrassed. But then again, what secret could I hide from Bella? Oh, right. The fact that I love her was an example.

"Don't worry, I bite mine as well." she said, and showed me her straw, which shockingly, was bitten as well. I couldn't believe it. So I wasn't the only seventeen and a half year old that bites his straw!

Bella and I laughed in harmony, soprano and bass, as we compared whose straw was bitten the worst. She won, and she gave me a brief kiss on the cheek for allowing me to let her win.

Let's just say that I'll let her win anything if the reward was her sweet, luscious, plump lips.

Bella blushed like mad after that, and chose not to utter a single sound. As she tried her green apple, I asked her how was it. "Well," she looked into it wonderingly, thinking. "I think it contrasts greatly to the papaya."

"Really? I find that the green apple tastes much better than the papaya." I informed her, having drank them various times before. "What? No way!" she gasped. Then we were arguing playfully, going back and forth as to which drink was better. At last, we came to a standstill.

"Whatever. Frappes are still the best. Nothing can compete with them." I declared, opening my arms wide in a gesture of pride. "Huh. I don't care. I still have yet to drink the rest of the stuff they sell here anyway," she huffed, slightly annoyed that she didn't win this argument.

I thought that it was the best time for me to give her a little reward. So leaning in closer to her, I made sure my face was just, literally, an inch away from hers. She stiffened, glanced up, and began breathing faster. Hell, even the intake of her breaths mesmerized me.

Damn it.

Leaning closer and closer, I touched my lips at her forehead, before moving down to her suddenly hot-as-fire cheek. I kissed it, feeling the smoothness of it rub against my lips, and grinned.

"There." I announced. "Now we're even."

BPOV

I spent the whole car ride back home blushing. I didn't understand why, all of a sudden, Edward and I were exchanging kisses on the cheeks and foreheads, holding hands, sharing drinks . . . In Phoenix, we called that dating.

But Edward doesn't even like me. Sure, he proved to be a great friend, but did he see me more than that? I couldn't tell if the answer was yes or no, and after today, I was so much more confused that I ever felt.

If there was one thing I learned about Edward today, it would be the fact that he was an _excellent _kisser. And keep in mind that he only kissed me on the cheek. When he kissed me, it felt as though I was being shocked by a thousand bolts of electricity. Minus the pain. The unforgettable feel of his lips against my sensitive cheek, his sweet but manly breath of spearmint, it had me going crazy.

God. This boy was going to be the death of me, I swear he was.

Beside me, in the driver's seat, Edward was grinning really big. Whenever he got the chance to, he turned to look at me, giving me one of his heart-stopping crooked smiles.

And I do mean _heart-stopping. _

"So? Where else do you wish to go, Ms. Swan?" he teased me, his green eyes lighting up with humor and mischief. "Hey! You've finally got the British accent right!" I gasped in realization.

He gave me his signature (well, I suppose this applies only to me) lopsided grin, and replied cockily, "Of course. I tend to do that every now and then."

I stuck out my tongue at him, a feat that I didn't think was possible months ago. A lot has changed since I met Edward, and I have to say, it is impossible not to fall for him, regardless of how much I love Jacob.

Honestly? I think my love for Edward outshone Jacob's so much more. If Jake was like my sun, my only reason for being warm, then Edward was an eclipse, completely taking over the sun's brightness, but showering my world with a beauty that seemed to solidify everything.

Right now, I felt as if Edward was my everything. I don't think I can take it without Edward here.

"I'm beginning to think your sugar rush hasn't completely run its full course yet." I told him, grinning as his magnificent green emeralds burst with laughter.

"Perhaps not. At least you allowed me to finally drive." he countered.

"Whatever. But I'm going to call you if you don't get to your house within fifteen minutes." I scoffed, trying to sound stern.

Edward laughed. "Yes, Mom. Okay, Mom." he droned on with a bored and sarcastic voice.

Once again, silence engulfed the car. As I thought of Edward's presence, and him just being here made my day, I began to wonder how much I've really fallen for him. Certainly, I've fallen too far in that I cannot come out, but I hope that whatever it was, I can suppress it, so he wouldn't see the depth of my feelings for him.

But I _have _to tell him sometime, don't I?

It's just . . . isn't it all too soon? I've only met Edward for a brief time, okay, in universal standards, three weeks was definitely not a brief time; it's almost a freaking month, for Christ's sake. But still, I can't just tell him that I love him as if I'm stating the weather forecast. No, definitely not. That would be disastrous. Completely.

As I sat there, contemplating when I should tell Edward about my feelings for him, something struck me.

It was my dreams. The dreams I've been having of him ever since the day I met Edward. Sometimes they were nightmares; him walking away briskly while I ran after him, eventually falling on a twig and curling up into a pathetic ball of misery. The layout of my dreams was always different. Be it our high school, a sunny beach, or even a freaking forest.

And it was always recurring, never ending. I'd wake up thinking that Edward left me.

Suddenly, I realized that I could no longer hold it back. I _have _to tell him about my feelings for him. I simply have to. If I don't . . . if I don't, he'll never know. Then one day, when he meets someone who is inevitably more beautiful than I am, both inside and out, Edward was going to be with her, and she was going to be with _him. _

Just the simple thought of him waiting at the altar for his bride-to-be had my heart breaking. It killed me, and I tried not to show any signs of heartache on my face. I tried to be impassive, and Edward glanced at me, immediately sensing that something was wrong.

Then I imagined that bride to be me, and as though there was a sudden light in the dark clouds, I felt myself hoping. I felt myself wishing, _wanting. _

What if . . . what if . . .

Just, what if?

Edward stopped the car and I glanced up. We were at my house already, miraculously making it alive. "Well, here we are." he sighed, somewhat sadly. As if he didn't want this day to end. Neither do I.

Impulsively, my mouth opened to say a quick goodbye. After all those months of being cut out from the world, it sort of became my new trait. But that Bella wasn't real. Heck, that Bella doesn't even exist anymore. The Bella with Edward, sitting in a shiny, silver Volvo with leather seats, laughing and being herself despite the hurt she's been through, _that's _the real Bella.

So I closed it again, and when I could finally phrase what I wanted to say, I pulled up my hood and hid in it cowardly. There was no way in hell I was going to confess to him in full face. I heard him sigh in frustration, probably because he couldn't tell what I was thinking with my hood up.

"Edward?" I whispered.

"Yeah?" he answered, like I knew he would.

"When . . . when you're alone . . . and you're with me . . . do you . . . does your heart beat rapidly?" I asked him, looking down at my hands, fiddling with my house keys.

Another silence that had the atmosphere tense. Then, he let out a strangled breath. "Y-yeah." he replied finally.

It was my turn to let out a deep breath. "Oh."

"How about you? Do you-do you always think of me, whenever you're . . . alone?" he asked me.

This time, I was ready. "Yeah, pretty much."

"Okay." he said simply. I glanced up and his green emeralds were shining with some sort of emotion that I could not comprehend. "Edward?" I said his name once again after an intense moment of looking into his eyes.

"Yeah?" he answered again.

"W-why do I feel this feelings? F-feelings for you?" I mumbled the last part, dropping my gaze and hiding in my hood. "I don't know, Bella. Trust me, I don't. Even my feelings for you, I have trouble understanding."

Now _that, _had my heart pounding extra fast, almost like horse's does when it is in a race. Bravely, I looked up once again to see his flawless face filled with happiness and wonder. He was hiding something, though.

"Edward?" I called out his name for the last time.

"Yeah?" he whispered.

"What are you hiding?" I questioned.

He kept real quiet, though his eyes never left mine, and he made sure that he captured my undivided attention. Casually bringing up his hands to my hood, he slipped it off. The he cupped my face with his enormous, callous hands. It felt warm and right against my heated skin. At that moment, I gave up breathing altogether while I waited anxiously for his answer.

"What I'm hiding, Bella, is . . . _this," _he whispered, taking one of my small hands and placing it over his heart. "I'm hiding my heart, Bella."

"Why?" baffled, and somewhat disappointed, my voice came out soft.

"Because I'm afraid."

"Afraid of what?" I asked.

"Afraid of breaking it."

"Why are you afraid of breaking it?"

"Because . . . because . . . " he couldn't speak anymore. His green eyes were troubled, having difficulty putting place what he wanted to say. "I'm afraid of having my heart broken because I don't want it to be broken. I-I . . . Bella, I have these immensely powerful feelings that I have for you. I-I've never come across it before. And-and, because I know that you won't ever like me back in the way that you love Jacob, I-I . . . I don't want to tell you that I . . . I love you."

Two words. Holy, and crap.

"You love me, Edward?" I whispered for clarification, my heart soaring beyond the clouds. And yes, I do know that it's kind of cheesy, but at times like this, you simply don't care. My body was trembling with so much relief and elation that my vision got clouded. Hell, my lungs were aching for air and yet all I could think of was that Edward loved me.

"Y-yes." his eyes closed, almost as if he was waiting for the end to come. He looked so frightened, depressed, _sad, _that I simply could not take it anymore. I flung my arms around his neck, pulling him down to me, and cried out, "Oh, Edward!" He burrowed his head in the crook of my neck, inhaling.

I heard his breath of relief. Then I felt his lips moving up my neck. God, it felt like the most amazing experience I've ever had. His kisses sent butterflies churning in my stomach, sending my body into a near frenzy when he went on to kiss the corner of my mouth.

"Take care of my heart, Bella. It belongs to you, only you." he was begging. There it was again, desperation and longing.

"I love you, Edward." I breathed, letting out everything that I had in me.

In life, I've learned many things. I've learned that when it knocks you down, you get back up. I've learned that opportunities are always behind you; all you really gotta do is see it. There are hardships that you feel like you can't overcome. Sometimes they even cost you your life, and worst still, the life of the ones you've left behind. Good and bad aren't really all that different. You just have to know right from wrong. Make mistakes, then make more of them.

And right now, for instance, I've learned that when you're this happy, you could cry.

"Oh, Bella, Bella, Bella," Edward sighed and wrapped his arms around me, holding me so tight to him that it made breathing difficult. He kissed my head, patted it, smoothed my hair. He muttered, "Don't cry, my Bella. If you cry . . . if you cry, then I'll cry too."

My arms, of their own accord, tightened around his waist. "I love you, Edward." I said firmly through my streaming tears.

"I love you too, Bella." he declared proudly.

And just like that, me and Edward's confession made it to the top of my Top Ten Best Nights In My Entire Life (So far).

We hugged each other for an immeasurable amount of time; I couldn't keep track of it. I definitely did not regret listening to my guts and following what my heart was saying. For now, I'm in a cloud of complete bliss due to the fact that I was in Edward's arms, at last.

Then I heard Charlie's muffled shouting from the car. "BELLA! I SEE HIS CAR! QUIT MAKING OUT FOR A SECOND AND TELL ME WHAT MY DINNER IS! I'M LITERALLY STARVING!"

Edward and I pulled back slightly from each other, looking deep into each other's eyes. "BELLS, COME _ON! _DON'T MAKE ME COME OUT THERE!"

We burst out laughing, Edward's arms tightening around me for a second before he let me go. Instantly, my body missed the feel of his skin against mine. I wanted to be in his arms, safe and happy forever.

"Go, Bella, _before _he comes out here and shoots me in the head." he laughed.

I laughed as well.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked him eagerly, my whole being fluttering with excitement and expectancy, not unlike the way I felt when we were looking at the menu of drinks earlier today. "Of course, love." he smiled, bringing me back into the haven of his arms. "But no, wait. Change of plans." he abruptly blurted.

"Huh?" disappointment laced my voice.

"See you upstairs." he smirked evilly, his eyebrows wiggling. I giggled. "Haha, very funny."

He simply gave me the 'I'm-not-fooling-around' look.

I gaped. "You're not seriously coming up to my room, aren't you? Dad's going to kill you if he finds you there!"

"Then I'll make sure he won't find out." Edward reassured me.

"But-but, what about Leah?"

"Same reason." he shrugged. My eyes narrowed. "You've done this loads of times before, haven't you?"

"Er . . . yeah, but this is actually the first time I'm going to a girl's bedroom with my clothes on."

"What? Oh, god, EW!" I gasped and shoved him off me playfully. The minute I was free from his grasp, he looked like a lost puppy, complete with the pouting lips. I laughed and drew him closer.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN, I SWEAR ON YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S GRAVE THAT I'LL BRING MY REVOLVER TO HIS CAR IF HE DOESN'T LET YOU GO THIS INSTANT!" Charlie shouted. This time, there was a hint of menace in his voice.

"Just go, love. I'll park my car elsewhere then I'll wait for you in your room." he told me urgently. Unlike me, Edward was not used to my father threatening to shoot people.

"No funny business?" I asked. I have absolutely no plans of getting pregnant right now.

"No funny business. Now go, love. I love you." he chuckled and gave me a chaste but ultimately melting kiss on the cheek. Then he picked up my hand and kissed it as well.

I leaned in, kissed him on the nose, and opened up the door of his car.

I began to start running towards the door, my heart pounding ecstatically. As Edward's car drove off, I yelled out, with all the voice that I had, "I love you, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!"


	13. When Fearless Becomes Fearful

**_Author's Note: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahh! 62 reviews for Confessions! 62 freaking reviews! Oh my god, I wasn't expecting that at all! So thank you, thank you, thank you VERY ULTRA MEGA much to fanficftw23, maybebaby23, Slyvia Cullen, Emoprincess98 (who, by the way, said plenty of awesome and absolutely amazing stuff. You rock, gurl! I do hope you get some pretty good inspiration for your stories! I bet they're gonna be way better than mine is! =D), AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234,_****_ marzu93, and of course, the very, VERY flattering Emmettroxmysoxoff. (Are you serious when you said you're my biggest fan? 'Cause I didn't buy it and had to pinch myself about twenty times before I realized that you really wrote that. So an extra helping of special thanks to you for saying that. Not that I'm sucking up or anything. Okay, sorry, I'm babbling now. I suppose I tend to do that a lot. I'm so sorry! =S)_**

**IMPORTANT:****_ I will NOT, repeat, NOT, update next week, because of certain circumstances, but the week after that? Yes, I will be. So I'm really, really sorry for making you guys upset over that little announcement. Really, truly, I am sorrowful. (Ew. God, what's wrong with me that I have to speak in a poetic way?)_**

**_Another thing: For clarification, yes, Alice was a very heartless bitch. But the reason why she's like that will come out in a few more chapters, so just hold on to your seats and await the revelation. God, did I just say that? O.O And also, Edward hasn't kissed Bella on the lips yet, but he will. Soon enough. _**

**_So grab some munchkins, a huge fluffy pillow, and ENJOY! (I realized that I haven't said these kind of things in some of the recent chapters. Sorry!) Finally, if you dream of touching Edward's abs, and you know you do ;), hey, leave a review okay? _**

**_~Serene._**

**_Disclaimer: Twilight does not belong to me, and neither does Edward and his wild, scrumptious sex hair. Yum. _**

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

"I love you, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!" yelled Bella as I drove off.

I'm going to unleash a whole lot of cheesiness here and say that those few words left my body tingling from relief and inescapable joy. Bella loves me, she freaking _loves _me! I wasn't pining on unrequited love after all, and I could love Bella, shower her with gifts and adoration with absolutely no more fear of being rejected.

I could finally kiss her.

But that's only if she'd let me. I mean . . . what if she thinks it's too early? What if she wants to take it slowly? Damn, I've never been in such a relationship before. Wait, was this even a relationship? I haven't asked Bella about being my girlfriend . . . But then again, most people don't normally declare their love in a five-seater silver Volvo.

Grinning a really goofy smile, I rounded up on a corner that was near Bella's house. I could park my car there, and no one would so much as blink when they saw it. I guess the people in Forks are pretty much used to seeing my car parked in numerous places. I used to be a playboy, remember?

I chuckled. Those crazy times were already behind me, though. All the partying, the slacking and the screwing of every single girl that was within ten feet of my radar was gone, baby, gone! I suppose I have to say sorry to all of the girls I've screwed; it wasn't just their bodies that I've been using, it was their emotions as well.

Yeah, I seriously need to start apologizing to them. First up would be Amber, because she was definitely a good, kind-hearted person, then it would be Tanya, because I knew she could never love anyone as much as she loved me. I had my chance with her, as much as I hated to admit it, but she really _was _a good person. Beyond that bitchy thing she had going on, Tanya was just as insecure about everything like everybody else.

The list would go on and on until I've come to the very last person who I owed the most sincere apology to: Leah.

Yeah, you heard me. Do I have to repeat it again?

Using Leah, no matter how freaking bitchy or stupid or manipulative she is, was just plain_ wrong. _Momma raised me to be a good guy, one who never uses a girl and then dump her within a few hours, but then again, I've been doing it all along. However, Leah was a completely different story. She was mangled, broken beyond repair when that Sam dude broke up with her, and I simply picked her up and tossed her away like a piece of trash.

As I cut off my engine and got out of my Volvo, I imagined Leah to be Bella, and wondered exactly how she would feel.

I shuddered. Yep, I definitely needed to say sorry to Leah, even though she's so not deserving.

I checked my phone whilst walking up to Bella's backyard. No messages from Bella yet, so the coast must be clear.

Then I began to search the windows of Bella's house. Granted, it wasn't as big as mine was, but it was fairly large enough that I couldn't tell which room was Bella's. I counted the number of rooms that the windows displayed: four on the top. No, no. Make that three, the room on the right was connected to the room towards the front of the house.

My eyes swept over the house impatiently. C'mon, Bella, make a sign, any sign, to indicate where the flipping hell your room is.

As sudden as I had that thought, I froze as I spotted a lovely, small but cozy room which an old and rusty window opened up to. I figured that it must be Bella's, for a little pot of Cacti was settled at the edge of her window pane, looking as if it was seconds away from death. I chuckled silently before looking for any source of climbing material.

I spotted a tree so close to Bella's room that, assuming I made it through the prickly looking branches, I could possibly use it as a ladder to her balcony, which stretched out wide enough for one simple coffee table and plastic chair. Quickly making up my mind, I jogged lightly to the tree, making sure no one was looking and scanned my surroundings real thoroughly.

Okay, now, don't get so anxious. I'll definitely make it through alive. If I don't, my last will and testament, which is written on the back of a spare piece of sheet music, will be found underneath my messy bed.

I grabbed the nearest branch and hauled myself up, wrapping my legs around the thick stem of the tree. Jesus, this was one huge tree; I couldn't even get my toes to touch each other. So, improvising, I clutched both of my hands onto another, more thicker branch, and simply let go.

Then, going as fast as lightning, I ran, yes, really _ran, _up the tree, grabbing onto thick branches as I did so. I was all too used to this, so it was over within thirty seconds or so. Was I good, or was I good?

Finally holding on to a really, really fat branch, I began to swing across it like it was a monkey bar. One hand in front of the other, eyes towards the bars, and going as fast as I could without losing my momentum. Stopping at the edge of the branch, I looked down to gauge the distance between me and the ground.

Hmm. I'm not really that far from the ground after all. I looked back up and saw that Bella's little balcony was within my reach to hold onto the steel railing. I swung myself back and forth, giving me some more momentum, before I let go of the branch.

I'd like to say that the first thing that came into my mind when I let go was the fact that I've come into terms with my mortality, blah, blah, blah, but the truth?

I was thinking: HOLY SHIT I'M GONNA DIE! NOOOO!

And there you have it folks. That's how I pathetically ended up curling my arms around the metal bar and hugging it as if my life depended on it. Which, if you think about it, was pretty close to the truth.

Breathing real hard, I began to laugh. Silently, of course. Bella'd kill me if I so much as utter a single _eep. _

Whoa. Seriously, the things I do for my Bella was beyond me.

I pulled myself over the railing, surprised to see that it actually came up to only my waist, and tiptoed across her poor excuse of a balcony. There's still another hurdle though. Her freaking window was open, yes, but it was only opened _halfway. _How in the world am I supposed to get in without making the ancient glass rattle?

Somewhere beside me, Bella's Cacti seemed to be mocking me. I scowled at it and began to work out the odds of Chief Swan and Leah hearing my intrusion into the house.

I let out a huge sigh before plopping down on the plastic chair. Thank god it was big enough that my butt could squeeze into it. I sat back and gazed into the sky, watching the stars shine ever so brightly.

A memory of some sorts flooded through my mind. This time, it wasn't Momma who was telling me all about the stars and the moon. It was Daddy.

_"Eddie, look. Do you see that little shape down there?" Daddy pointed out to me, towards the constellation of the stars joined together. His black eyes looking so dark and still in the moonlight. I could hear Momma laughing at us, a faint clicking sound that indicated she was taking a picture in that ancient camera of hers._

_"Yes, Daddy." I replied happily. "It looks like an old lady with a trash bag on her head. It looks like Granny Masen!" I laughed when I looked closely._

_Momma and Daddy laughed in unison. _

_"It sure does, baby," Momma giggled and scooted closer to me and Daddy. She began playing with my hair, mumbling something about it being too untidy. _

_"Oh, come on Lizzy. So what if the boy's hair is messy? It's not like he's gonna die because of it." Daddy mocked her, ruffling his own, immaculate black hair. Momma stuck out her tongue at him while she tried to fix my hair. It was impossible. She sighed. "I don't understand where you get your unruly hair from. Me and your father's hair don't stick up the way yours do." _

_I looked up into her brilliant green eyes and pointed up at the sky. "Grandpa Masen." I replied simply, remembering that Granpappy Masen used to have messy hair too. _

_Daddy's sudden laughter broke Momma's confusion. "Hah! Good one, son!" he cried and picked me up from Momma's lap. He proceeded on to messing up my hair even more. "Edward! Stop that!" Momma scolded Daddy annoyingly. Then she coughed once, and then she coughed again. _

_Suddenly, she was having a whole fit of coughs. Daddy set me down and began to rub Momma's back worriedly. I looked on, watching as my father's black eyes turned pained. Finally, when Momma could breathe, she covered her mouth with her hand and reached for a nearby tissue. Turning away from me, she wiped her mouth._

_She didn't know I could see blood in it._

_Daddy didn't look away like I did. Instead, his long face turned really sad. _

_"I'll just, uh, go make us some midnight snacks. What do you want, Eddie?" Momma asked me tenderly, her eyes hiding something. I touched her face._

_"Hot chocolate?" I asked her. She grinned back at me, warming my insides. Then she kissed my forehead. "Okay, baby. How about you, Edward?" she asked my father._

_"Coffee." he said gruffly._

_Momma nodded and stood up, kissing my father briefly on the cheek before making her way to the kitchen. "Daddy?" I called. _

_"Yeah, Eddie?" he answered, picking me up and setting me on his lap, his eyes a million miles away. _

_"Why is Momma always coughing?" I asked, wondering if it was the right question. _

_He didn't answer, instead, he gazed at the sky. "Look, Eddie. See the beautiful moon?" _

_I looked up._

_"Yes, Daddy. The color looks like Momma's skin, doesn't it?" I replied, seeing the similar paleness of the moon compared to my mother's skin. "It does, Eddie . . . it does. Don't you think it looks absolutely wonderful?" he breathed. _

_"Yes, I do. But why is it so far away?" _

_I felt Daddy's gaze rest on me. I turned to look into his black, obsidian eyes. "Edward Anthony Masen Junior, you listen carefully to this. Do you hear me?" he said earnestly. I nodded and he continued, "In life, there are many things that cannot be comprehended. The moon, for instance. It is so large, magnificent to look at, and yet we cannot even reach out to take it. Every single time, the good things in life will get taken away by a higher being or so, and we will be left with nothing. Edward, one day, you are going to be looking at the stars with your own son, and you are going to say the exact same things I am saying._

_"You see, Eddie, the sky is the perfect picture of life. It is dark, but the stars are there for us to marvel at. However, they are only points of light and reason. Like all things in life, they are connected to each other, no matter how bizarre the outcome is. _

_"And then . . . there will be the moon, which will depict the most important thing in your life. It will bring grace, elegance, and beauty to your already existing life. You will be tied down to that moon, you will love the moon with everything you have. And it will always be there, leaving you wondering what on Earth you did to deserve something as remarkable as that to be in your life." Daddy ended, looking up into the sky once again._

_"Is Momma your moon, Daddy?" I asked him. _

_He didn't looked at me, instead, he smiled at the sky. "Yes. She is like my own, personal moon." _

_"Really? You never told me that before." Momma's voice chimed from the back. We looked at her, both Daddy and I jolting in surprise. _

_Momma was holding a tray of cups in one hand, while the other held her beloved camera. _

_"Say 'cheese!'" she laughed, and a blinding shot of light clouded my vision._

A sudden vibration of my phone interrupted me from revelling in my memory. I looked at the caller ID, and it was Emmett. I didn't realize that he'd left three text messages for me. I guess I was too lost in my thoughts.

Groggily, I picked up my phone.

"Hello?" I cleared my throat, not wanting to let out the lump that blocked my oesophagus.

"Edward! Thank Christ you answered!" Emmett yelled into my ear. I flinched back and hushed him. "Shut up, Emmett! You're being too loud! And why're you calling me in the first place?"

"That's what I wanted to tell you!" he said urgently. My 'uh-oh' alarm picking up.

"Why, what is it , Em?" I asked him warily.

He didn't answer, but I could hear some sirens . . . Oh shit. My heart raced and I began imagining things. "Emmett!" I whispered/shouted, nearly forgetting that I was in Bella's house and on her freaking balcony.

"Emmett! Why the hell do I hear sirens!" I demanded into my phone, standing up and shaking Bella's plastic chair away from my butt. The sirens were growing fainter, and there was an eerie silence after that. Then I could hear some garbled piece of shit noise, which I assumed to be all of the Cullens' talking at once.

"-take Rosalie's BMW." I made out Carlisle speaking.

"But-" Rosalie got interrupted.

"Enough!" Alice was screaming. My heart broke. What on Earth was going on?

"Emmett!" I cried desperately on my phone. He must have gotten his shit together, because in the next second, Em was talking in a rush to me_. _"Edward, get your ass at the hospital. It's Mom."

Then the line went dead.

I could feel horror, dread and fear breaking through my calm facade. I was starting to freak out. What happened to Esme? I wanted to know, and though I didn't really knew why, I was flashing back to when my mother first showed the signs of cancer. She'd been slightly weak, and she fainted a lot.

I gasped in shock. Was that it? Did Esme have cancer? My head was going dizzy from the news of my adoptive mother going to the hospital, and I couldn't help but start freaking out even more. Shit, shit, shit, shit, bloody SHIT! What the heck was happening?

Then I turned around, looking intently into Bella's bedroom. I couldn't just leave her, could I? She was expecting me, and I can't just walk away now, not when I know she'll play an integral part in my life. But what about Esme?

Argh! Damn it!

Rushing to grab my cell, I dialled Bella's number, despite knowing she won't pick up. The phone rang for about three times, before my Bella's sweet voice flooded through my ear. As simple as that, my worries and troubles disappeared for awhile. "Edward?" she asked breathlessly.

My heart broke, because I knew she was looking forward to seeing me. "Yeah," I said gruffly, "I, uh, Bella? I'm really, _really _sorry, but I'm afraid I can't make it tonight."

"Oh." she breathed, and I didn't have to see her face to know she was disappointed. If it was possible, my heart shattered into a further million pieces. "Can I ask why, or is that too pushy?" she joked, trying to make light of the situation.

I groaned quietly at her attempt, "No, no. It's just . . . Esme's in the hospital."

Silence.

"Are you kidding me?" Bella shrieked. "Then why the hell are you wasting time talking to me? Get your butt over there before I kick you there myself!" she continued, giving me an earful. I laughed at her panicky voice.

"I just wanted to say sorry to you, love. I know that there's still lots of stuff we haven't talked about; stuff about us." I said calmly, silently thanking the high heavens that she took it well enough.

"Well, yeah, I mean, I do still want to talk about them, but never mind. The Cullens come first, right? They might not be your biological family, but they were the ones who took care of you while you were still growing up." she sighed, sadness lingering in her voice.

"What's up?" I asked her. Something was wrong.

"Nothing . . . "

"Bella Swan. You've been my best friend for far longer than any of the douchebags that live here does, and now you're the love of my life," I paused there, because I was beginning to be cheesed out by my words, then I continued, "So by now, I think I know you too much that your simple meaning of 'nothing' indicates so much more."

"Fine, fine!" Bella cried desperately. "Leah's just being an ass. I'll have to face a so-called 'talk' with her later."

"You and Leah are going to talk?"

"Yep, that's the plan. Char- I mean, my Dad wants us to ease some of the tension between us two whenever we're in the same room. Honestly, I don't even know what Leah's doing here. Seth and Paul have been calling me, and calling me. It's annoying, really."

"Really?"

"Mhmm. Oh wait, shit, I'm babbling. God, Edward, go to Esme now! And if you're feeling too much pressure or stress, depression, sadness, hey, I'm right here aren't I? I love you, Edward. Keep that in mind." she whispered the 'I love you' bit, and I could imagine her blushing.

"I love you too, baby. Don't forget that fact either." I pronounced.

"Baby?" she questioned, just as she hanged up on me.

I grinned into the phone, looked at it and wished it was her. Then I grabbed the nearest branch and made my way down the tree.

* * *

><p>As I ran through the doors of Forks' local hospital, I was hit by the god awful stench of the chemicals. They burned through my nose, making me feel as though I just drank straight bleach, and I coughed a little to hide my frightened face.<p>

Never, in the whole time that I've been living in Forks, that I voluntarily made my way towards the hospital. It brought back too many memories; Momma on her death bed, Momma crying as shot after shot of painkillers got injected in her skin, and most of all, Momma whispering to the nurse about her fears of dying the next day.

Let's just say that hospitals freak me out, to this day.

I reached the front desk and asked for Esme Cullen. They led me down towards a private room, where I could hear some sniffling and rough throat-clearing.

I knocked, unsure whether or not to intrude on their family moment. "Yes?" Esme croaked.

Peeking through the door, I noticed that Esme looked perfectly fine, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking calm. She was a little pale though. "I, uh, I wanted to check on you?"

Jeez, way to go Masen.

"Come in, Edward. I am fine, though I might need some fresh air." she gave me a tired smile and motioned me over.

I tried not to meet Carlisle's penetrating gaze. "Are you sure? You might wanna lie down or something."

"I said I'm fine, Edward. I just fainted, that's all. The doctor didn't find anything wrong with me." Esme sighed.

After a little of turning to my left, I asked Carlisle, "You weren't the one who checked on her?"

Carlisle shook his head slightly. "No. I wasn't. We're not allowed to deal with our own families, Edward."

"Okay." I said lamely and scanned my surroundings. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper were all looking at me in concern; they were afraid that I'd break down. I gave them an encouraging smile, to which they smiled back. I decided it was the perfect time to tell them.

"Esme?" I turned towards her.

"Yes, Edward?" she answered me.

"Um, do you know Isabella Swan? The Chief's daughter?"

"Yes, I do. I believe I have seen her around in Thriftway before." Esme smiled warmly, though her eyes were uncomfortable. "Well, I sort of, yeah. She's my girlfriend, Esme. And she's pretty amazing."

"Are you serious?" Rose suddenly exclaimed, causing me to jump in the air. I walked over to her and hugged her warmly, unable to keep my joy in. The big smile on face, as well as the blush, probably gave me out. "Chill, Rose. You're getting too excited. I haven't really asked her yet, but we've already, uh, confessed. And um, I'm thinking of asking her soon."

Em's booming laughter echoed throughout the dark hospital room. "Oh, man! You have it so bad for her!"

I mock punched him whilst blushing even harder. "Maybe, maybe. But even you can't deny that she's beautiful; both inside and out."

"Do you think she's 'The One?'" Jazz asked, curious. After thinking more deeply, I nodded. "Absolutely. She's the-"

"Okay, okay, enough of Edward and his new girlfriend who would break his heart the minute she knows that he's a freaking cheater. Let's get Esme home." Alice scowled bitterly. Rose glared at her, Em growled menacingly, and Jasper gave me an apologetic expression. I smiled back at them as if to say _no harm done. _

"I agree with Alice. Let us go." Carlisle sort of ordered, and helped Esme to her feet.

I made sure I was the one at the very back, to give the Cullen's their freedom to move about.

Then it struck me like a truck driving over my body as I watched them helping Esme move about; she was still frail. I would never, ever become part of their family. I've pushed them way too far over their furthest boundary, played them, manipulated them, hurt them. I've made them hate me, and even though some have forgiven me, I knew deep in my heart that they were still doubtful.

Yes, I definitely owe several people an apology.

BPOV

After snapping my phone shut, I tried to take a deep breath.

Then the worry started setting in. Esme. Edward's adoptive mother, in the hospital, suffering from who-knows-what. Edward once told me he had a traumatic experience in the hospital, and that he was never going to set foot into one again. But, since this situation regarded his own adoptive mother, surely there was an exception?

Oh, god. What if Edward had a breakdown? What if the doctors turned evil and started cutting him up and everything? Sweet Jesus. I'm starting to get paranoid, _very _paranoid.

"Bella? You okay?" Charlie called from the dining table.

"Yeah, Bella, did Edward break up with you yet?" I heard Leah's nasal-like voice said in a fake 'I-am-so-worried-about-you' tone. I gritted my teeth.

"Now, now, Leah," Charlie warned her, and only I could hear the annoyance in his voice. "Fine, whatever Mr. Swan." Leah retorted, irritated.

I walked back into the kitchen in a robot-like state. Leah noticed my blank stare, recognizing this as one of my paranoid sessions. She rarely got to see me in this way; I used to be more confident, in fact, _too _confident. Charlie might have noticed my behavior, for he turned to talk to me, while chewing some of yesterday's dinner.

"Bells? You alright?" he asked me, his chocolate brown eyes, the same ones as mine, crinkled up in a fight.

I didn't answer him, my heart thumping hyper-actively as I thought of Edward being in the hospital. "Bells? Hey, hey, come on," Charlie's fork and spoon clanked loudly on the plate, as he moved over to where I was seated and began to rub my back.

It took a few seconds for me to realize that I was crying. Loudly.

Sobs escaped my throat, even though I didn't know why the heck I was crying. I just felt so worried, so freaked out, and simply so dang upset by the fact that he had to go through this kind of shit, when other people like Mike Newton and god knows who deserved this kind of stuff. God. Edward's already been through so much, and now he has to go through bullshit again?

Fuck everyone who messed up Edward's life. Fuck Edward's fucking father.

Great, now all the expletives started coming out.

"Bells, is this about Edward?" Dad asked me.

I sucked in a deep breath, cleared my throat, and stuttered, "Y-yes." Shit. Now Charlie's expression was mad.

"Did he break up with you? Where is that boy? I swear I will-" Charlie bellowed angrily before I interrupted him.

"NO! No. He d-didn't break up with me. H-his mom, Esme, she's in the hospital. I-I guess I'm j-just worried."

"Oh." Charlie finished lamely.

I nodded, and told him I was going upstairs. The waterworks were beginning to work again. I rushed upstairs, just about to reach my room, when I bumped into Leah.

"Oof! Watch where you're going, bitch!" she cried out. Huh. That was funny. I didn't realize when she'd headed off to the guestroom.

The minute I heard the word 'bitch,' I lost it. Shoving her inside my bedroom, (thank god it was nearby), I slammed the door shut and screamed at her, "What the hell is your problem with me, Leah? What did I ever do to make you hate me so much?"

Leah's tanned, sharp face turned down with a grimace, as she shouted back, "_You! _You're my problem! You always get everything you ever wanted, just because you're freaking beautiful! You get every boy, every single person wants to be your friend, and the boy that I loved and dated used to like you as well!"

"Sam never like me!" I screamed. Where was this fight going?

"Oh, yes, he did! He even told you that he liked you once, during that stupid truth or dare game, and you denied him! He was broken, and guess who was the one who had to pick up the pieces? ME!" tears started falling down my former best-friend's cheeks.

I tried to speak, but Leah interrupted me. "It's always you, Bella! You, you, you, and you! No one even bothered to take a look at me. The spotlight's always on you, and you do it with no effort! Even during the cheerleading tryouts, you didn't have to do a _shmuck. _All you did was to stand there, in that freaking uniform, and _everyone _instantly loved you!

"While I, on the other hand, got in just because you were my friend! I tried so _hard, _Bella! I tried everything I could, so that for once, at least _someone _would notice me. But no! They don't! I hate living in your shadow, Bella! I hate _you! _

"Then that stupid competition. The one where Black died. Jesus, Bella. You acted so damn satisfied when he was fighting for you! Seriously! And you never even gave him a simple hello while he tried his damnedest to get your attention. Black was so eager to be with you, and when I talked to him, he told me that he really loved you.

"And guess what, Bella?" she breathed.

I choked, unable to breathe. "What?"

"He died Bella! He died thinking that you didn't love him! But you did, didn't you? I could see it in you; you love Jacob Black. But you just let him die. Just like that!" she snapped her fingers, as if to emphasize her words.

"I didn't just let him die! I screamed for them to stop, I tried to stop James, but Seth wouldn't let me. He made sure he kept his hold on me while I screamed for James to stop! And then you . . . you just stood there and cheered for Jacob's death!"

"I wasn't cheering, Bella! I was stopping James, too! You're not the only one who fell in love with J, you know!"

_J. _Just that simple letter repeated itself in my head. So she loved Jake too, and she even had a nickname for him. "You weren't the only one, Bella . . . you weren't the only one . . ." she sobbed, her face turned into an expression of pure pain.

As I watched Leah sob her heart out, I realized that she was right. I took everything I had for granted, knowing that they would always be there. I didn't realize that Leah felt that way. I didn't realize that Leah was hurting because of the things I did. She was right; she wasn't the bitch here. I was.

I moved closer to her, but she pulled away from me like she just got an electric shot.

"Leah . . ." I whispered brokenly.

"What?" she whispered, fed-up.

"I'm sorry, Leah. I really am." I apologized sincerely. It was true. She deserved this apology.

"I . . . I know that, too. I know you're sorry. But that doesn't stop me from being killed inside." she said, her fists clenching and her breathing ragged.

"Leah-"

"Don't, Bella. Don't."

"Okay."

I watched as Leah continued to cry, releasing all her pent-up sadness and anger. This was a moment that might change my life. It was either she changed and continued to be my friend, or she'd be the same Leah, and move away from me.

Quite frankly, I missed her. I missed everything about her. Edward might have been my best friend, but Leah was definitely my true best friend. Only she could have been strong enough to watch and stand by as I take everything from her.

Only she.

Leah gradually stopped crying. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy from her tears. "Bella?" she whispered.

"Yeah?" I answered, the 'yeah' coming from the weeks I've spent with Edward.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry for being such a bitch-"

"No, no. I'm the bitch here, Leah. You didn't deserve any of this; you deserve better. I always thought that you were okay with the things I did. I never considered your feelings, and I'm really sorry for that. Leah, you're my best friend. You're like the sister I _never _had. Leah, when you and Sam . . . when you and Sam got together? I was so happy for you, Leah. So happy . . ."

She sniffed. "Were you, really?"

"Yes, I was. And then he had to break up with you. That damned bastard." I grumbled under my breath. "Leah, you shouldn't even love him anymore. That asshole used you! Damn it, and he even tried to hide the fact that he was in love with that . . . that . . . ah, cousin of yours."

"I know, I know. It's just . . . Sam's a really fit guy, isn't he?" she sighed, and I knew she wasn't over him yet.

"So take a break." I encouraged.

"I am, aren't I?"

I grinned at her.

"I love you, Lee-Lee. Never forget that. And I'm sorry." I whispered, opening my arms really wide to hug her. She gave me a timid smile, and leaned into my arms. Then she started sobbing again.

"That's right, Lee-Lee. Let it all out. Just let it all out." I soothed, rubbing her back as she started crying for her lost love, or should I say, lost _loves. _


	14. All The Right Moves

_**Author's Note: Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi and hi! God, am I so glad to be back! This past week of not updating CYKAS was literally SUCKY. Jeez, I'm never going to take another week off if I have to go through that kind of anticipation again. But wait! First things first! 67 reviews for When Fearless Becomes Fearful! Are you guys insane or what? xD So a SUPER MEGA ULTRA thank yous to Emmettroxmysoxoff, thatxbasballxgirl, fanficftw23, AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234 and Emoprincess98 for all the amazing reviews that you've left! I really appreciate it, like, seriously. Ew. Did I just use the word 'like' in the bitchy language? Hmm. Leah must've been rubbing off me. **_

_**Anyways, yes, Emmettroxmysoxoff. I have an awesome ending in mind. It's not going to be the typical ending, I swear it won't. Because if it does, I'll allow you guys to bite me till I dead. But I'm hoping you won't, anyway. =P I'll spoiler you guys a little and say that, at the ending, Siobhan (yes, she's from the Irish coven in Breaking Dawn) will be involved in Edward's disownment. I figured, why waste time thinking of names for new characters when Stephenie Meyer created so much of them in the first place? Also, yes, Bella will be there for Edward for moral support. I mean, how could she not? I'll be heartbroken myself if she ain't there. D'= Annnnnd, Siobhan will play a somewhat important role too. Okay, I'm keeping my mouth shut from here on out. =) **_

_**If you ever felt someone staring at you as you head off to sleep at night, and you imagined it to be Edward, you're not the only one doing it! So please, if you support EBYBEN (Edward By Your Bedside Every Night), hey, the review button is just down there! **_

_**Finally, to end this awfully long author's note (sorry!), grab a fluffy pillow, some yummy munchkins, and ENJOY! **_

_**~Serene.**_

_**PS: I am so freaking sorry for the delay of this chapter! I apologize if any of you were disappointed with me . . . **_

_**Disclaimer: If I could have anything in the world, anything at all, it would be to make Twilight, and Edward, mine. I guess I kind of greedy that way. =)**_

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

One month.

One goddamned month of being with my Bella. And hell, nothing could describe it. Nothing, seriously, _nothing, _could ever make me feel this happy like the way Bella did whenever she smiled at me. Or hugged me. Or held my hand.

I'll like to beat myself up for sounding too much of a sissy, but when you're with the most amazing, life-altering girl in the entire flipping universe, you can't help but feel that way. I just hoped that Bella felt the same way, too.

And no, I haven't kissed Bella. Yet. We haven't even been to a single date, because of our clashing work schedules. Apparently, the only days that Bella could be free of work were on the days that _I _had to work. Both of us tried to shift our schedules a little, but the most we were able to garner was to leave our Sundays free.

But, coincidentally, Sundays were 'family day' for both of us. Bella still had a life with Charlie, and no matter how much I'm no longer going to be part of the Cullens, Rose, Em and Jazz counted on my presence for each Sunday.

Honestly, Fate doesn't seem to be supporting me anymore.

But, on the brighter side, I finally managed to get a place in a nearby students' hostel in Port Angeles. During one of my off days, whilst waiting for my Bella to get off work, I'd driven to the Port to look for reservations. And lucky for me, I managed to get one room. The rent per month was okay, at least it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

The downside? It was the first step to facing the end of my life with the Cullens. And it _sucked; _surprisingly, I didn't seem to want it to end. I didn't want to wake up without Emmett's loud, booming voice singing at the top of his lungs to Abba's _Mamma Mia! _I didn't want to stop receiving an everyday hug by Rosalie, nor did I want to lose Jasper's ability to make other people feel at ease.

Most of all, I did _not _want to leave Alice without saying sorry to her, or at least explain to her how much she meant to me. Up until now, she still hasn't spoken to me, and it basically killed me halfway. Sure, Rose was awesome, but Alice was the one who used to have my back.

I missed her. I missed her like crazy.

Sighing, I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked from somewhere beside me. I opened my eyes and was suddenly pulled back to the reality of a rusty, old classroom filled with chattering teenagers. I looked into her beautiful brown eyes and gave a small grin.

"Nothing, baby." I replied quickly, grabbing her table and chair before pulling them closer to me. She let out a small squeal before smacking me on the arm.

"Edward!" she protested while laughing. I chuckled along with her, because I simply couldn't help myself.

"What? I'm innocent!" I held my hands, palm facing outward, to her. "See? No gun, baby!" I laughed at her.

"Well, I'm not an idiot, Edward. I know that whenever you call me 'baby,' something's definitely not right." she huffed, and folded her arms across her chest. "Obviously, you're not an idiot. I'm surprised you noticed that though, me calling you 'baby,' baby." I said mischievously. Her eyes narrowed, and she was about to retort back, when Mr. Berty had to walk into the room.

Ah, what perfect timing the man had. Mr. Varner was exactly the same, only he had been shifted off to the Calculus department earlier this semester, right after Bella had her first lesson with him. Apparently, Mr. Varner had been caught 'fraternizing' with one of the female teachers that worked in the English Department.

"What a good day today isn't it, people? Now, before we get on with today's work, I have an announcement to make." he called out to everyone, trying to get our attention. Since this was a class of only twenty-four people, of course he had them.

"About what? That you're finally quitting?" Newton snickered.

Whoa. Huge, huge mistake there buddy. "Mr. Newton! Detention for today and the rest of the week!" the Bertsman gasped, infuriated. Mike groaned and I heard Tyler Crowely mutter, "Ooh. Burn." I could completely understand that. It was only Tuesday after all. Mike would be stuck in Detention for four days straight. This was so not a nice record for his transcripts later on.

But then again, considering I've still got a whole year of Detention making-up to do, I can't utter a single taunt.

"Now," Mr. Berty cleared his throat. "Since Principle Greene has noticed that your batch, who has done so much improvement," he looked straight at me, and I swear, my ears were thoroughly warm, "He has decided that you will all go for an educational excursion-"

The whole class groaned, interrupting him. Excursions that Forks High usually organized were shitty. "Will you let me finish?" the teacher cried out exasperatingly. When he had our undivided attention again, he continued, "And, that excursion will be for all of you to be travelling around Europe."

"WHAT?" everyone cried out at the same time, comically. Even Bella let out a single, "Holy shit."

As for me, I tried to remain calm, stoic, as if a trip to Europe happened everyday. Deep down, though, it felt as though I was pumping my fist in the air, going "Boo-yah!"

I thank my lucky stars no one can hear my thoughts. I turned to Bella to gauge her reaction. She had this look of awe and excitement. Her bottom lip was getting gnawed at, and her beautiful brown eyes were crinkled up in wonder. I didn't have to be mind reader: she looked as if she was ready to spontaneously combust any moment soon.

I chuckled at her happy expression. She turned to smile widely at me before she rested her pretty little head on my shoulder.

My heart, my number one most hated traitor, skipped a beat. Even though we've been dating for a whole month, I still haven't gotten used to this amazing goddess.

I suppose I won't ever get used to it, I'll just have to accept that I'm dating the living incarnation of Aphrodite herself.

After the class got over their initial shock, they bombarded Mr. Berty with all sorts of questions. Bella winced, and I knew that she was pitying him. I pitied alongside her; the Bertsman was just a newbie when it came to this.

"When will the trip be, sir?" Tanya was demanding.

"What will we be doing?" Tyler seconded her.

"Are we allowed to drink and go clubbing?" Newton asked.

"How the heck are we supposed to go there?" Irina, Tanya's BFF, huffed stupidly. I laughed at her, I mean, you've got to be kidding me, right? How did she expect us to get there? By bus? Ha!

Beside me, Bella snickered evilly. I turned towards her. "You're a meanie."

She grinned back, revealing her perfect teeth. Her brown eyes sparkled like crazy. "I'm not! But is she for real? For crying out loud, how else did she expect us to reach Europe?"

I laughed along with her. "My thoughts exactly, love. I can't imagine what she can be thinking of right now."

Bella snorted, trying to hold back a laugh, but ended up shaking with suppressed laughter. I held her tight to me as she and I began to laugh at how stupid Irina could be.

"Wait, wait!" Mr. Berty was trying to control the class. His forehead was beaded with drops of sweat. His anxious black eyes all teared up. Murmuring softly to Bella, I tried to keep myself from rolling on the floor, laughing. "Don't look now, but the Bertsman has reached the breaking point."

In my arms, Bella started giggling hysterically. God, her laughter was like music to my ears. And I'm not saying it just because I'm completely and utterly whipped, but also because it was true. Angela Weber, who sat beside Bella, turned to gape at our embrace.

I couldn't care less.

"ENOUGH, GUYS!" Ben Cheney, who was always the quiet dude, shouted in an irritated tone. The whole class turned silent, and we all turned to look at little Ben, as we all called him.

Who knew that such a small guy could pack an enormous voice?

Ben blushed, his somewhat dark skin turning into a soft pink as he looked down at his desk and studied the graffiti that was scrawled onto it. Somewhere beside Bella, Angela sucked in an adoring breath. Bella leaned towards her and grinned.

"Cool it, Ang. Even I can feel your admiration for him." she teased and poked Angela in the arm lightly.

I looked at the two of them, glad to know that Bella was finally breaking out of her shell and making more friends. She relented to not wearing her hood up _most of the time, _but it didn't mean that she stopped wearing her hoodie. Not that I blamed her, the hoodies looked great on her.

She made innocent things look so downright criminal whenever she wore them. Take for instance that green turtleneck shirt I've seen her wear a million times. And her baggy jeans.

Not to mention her ruddy backpack.

"Oh, ssh!" Angela hushed Bella and blushed adoringly. I laughed at her, and she looked at me, realizing that I was listening to their conversation. "Oh, no." she sighed and buried her face in her hands.

"Don't worry, Ang," I used Bella's nickname for her, "I won't tell a single soul. Mark my words."

Angela grinned at me and continued to peek at Ben from the corner of her eyes. Bella smiled at her and squeezed Angela's shoulder. Returning our attention to the poor teacher, who was trying fruitlessly to gain everyone's focus. Finally, everyone seemed to be listening to him, and everything got into order once again. Well, sort of, if you didn't count Lauren's quick make-out session with Eric Yorkie.

"Well, thank you very much for _finally _listening to me. First, to answer Ms. Denali's question, it shall fall on the fourteenth to the twenty eighth of June. So that means your summer will be partially spent in this excursion. And while you are in Europe, you shall be studying the historical Literature and Art that the continent represents. Mr. Newton, you are _definitely _not allowed to go clubbing, drink, or even to stray as far as an inch away from the tour. Plus, you are to stay in the hotel, and only the _hotel, _throughout the whole duration of the trip." Mr. Berty was starting to get the heat on.

"So much for fun." I grumbled to Bella, and she smacked her arm against my forearm. I picked up her gentle hand and kissed her knuckles as I stared deeply into her eyes.

I completely forgot about that fact we were in a classroom filled with deranged teenagers.

"Mr. Cullen, Ms. Swan, I appreciate the fact that the two of you have found your soul mates in each other, however, that does not mean you can show PDA in front of us," Mr. Berty scolded playfully, and for once, I felt my heart go out to him. The guy knew teenage talk, you gotta give him credit for that.

"I apologize for that, sir. I just cannot help it when I have the most amazing girl seated beside me. I'm sure you understand, sir." I winked at him, knowing that he'd been secretly checking my Bella out.

Of course, who was I to be jealous? Bella should be getting all the attention in the whole world.

I just have to learn how to cope with that fact.

"Well then, please refrain from PDAing in my class in the future." he said, flustered. I grinned at Bella's confused expression before kissing her cheek.

"I can't promise, sir. But I'll try my best."

He nodded and then cleared his throat. "Very well. Um, yes, there is a huge BUT to the trip."

Cue the expected groan.

"Now, now. You won't be paying anything, but since your precious summer is at risk here, as well as the plans that your parents might have worked so hard to create, each of you will be given a permission slip and a brochure. Once you get home, please, _please, _show them to your parents. They are to fill it out and then return it to the school _themselves." _The Bertsman emphasized the last word.

I began to panic. Our parents?

Shit.

That would mean asking Carlisle and Esme, and god knows how much I don't want to talk to them now. Especially not after Esme's fainting episode, which I found out through muted conversations behind closed doors, was about me and the goddamned disownment.

I'm screwed. I'm definitely screwed.

"Edward? You okay?" Bella whispered, clutching my hand tightly, her soulful eyes reaching deep into my green ones.

"Uh . . ." was all I could manage. Then I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to control my mixed emotions. Jeez, can't I take a freaking break? Or at least something to distract me from all the drama? Just for once, I'd like to go on a sweet date with my baby girl, take her out to watch the movies or something.

But noooo, everything has to be so complicated.

"Hey, hey . . ." Bella whispered again, wrapping her arm around my own and tugging lightly on it. She was trying to comfort me, and I felt like a jerk for not sharing with her my problems. She had a right to know; she's my girlfriend after all.

"After school," I breathed and pressed my lips against her soft hair.

She pulled away, and her heart-shaped face lined with worry. I rubbed my fingers gently across her crumpled forehead before briefly kissing it. "Don't be worried, love, just relax. I'm fine, really."

Bella sighed. "Whatever you say, but you're still taking me to that cafeteria today and you're telling me whatever's bothering you. Okay?"

I chuckled. "Sure. Your wish, my command."

* * *

><p>"Next!" the cashier up front called and I stepped up.<p>

"May I take your order?" the much freckled girl huffed impatiently. Then she looked up, her expression shifting into a completely flustered one. "Oh, I, uh, sorry for the, uh . . ." the girl was rendered speechless.

I frowned, because the longer she took to say her sentence, the longer my Bella would have to sit at the table, waiting for me and the drinks I'd bought for us. "It doesn't matter. I'd like to have a white chocolate frappe and an ice blended strawberry drink, please, with one slice of blueberry cheesecake. And, um, top the cheesecake with whipped cream with chocolate sprinkles. Thanks."

Grabbing my wallet, I reached for some money. Then I noticed that the girl hadn't moved an inch. I looked up, and she was staring after me with an expression filled with . . .

Oh, no. Oh god, no! I know that freaking expression! Shit, shit! Quick, Masen, say something nasty!

Dammit, too late! The girl was already batting her eyelashes and licking her lips. Ew. Double ew. What's up with her and leaning forward? Jeez, she's crumpling that uniform she had on and it's rolling up to show me her flat chest. I was frantically looking away, blushing, because I _hated _getting attention from bimbos like her.

"Well, aren't you going to get his drink?"

I whirled around, thankful and amused to find Bella staring, well, actually, she was _glaring_, at the cashier. Her brown eyes were all scrunched up in some unknown emotion, and her face looked ready to kill.

I laughed and pulled her closer to me, wrenching her to my side. Turning to the cashier, I gestured for her to continue on with our drinks.

The girl, who by then, was the color of beet root, started whipping up a storm for us. Beside me, Bella was cursing the girl under her breath. "Brainless, idiotic, completely materialistic bimbo . . . tried to act all flirty around _my _Edward? Jeez, who does she think she is?"

I kissed the top of her head and whispered, "Is someone jealous?"

Bella only huffed and folded her arms against her chest. She looked so freaking _adorable _when she was jealous; she acted like a child who's toy had been taken away from her.

Grinning wider, I skimmed my lips along the side of her face and breathed in her strawberry perfume. It heavenly tainted my car, clothes, hell, everywhere I went, Bella's addictive scent had me panting like a dog. Excuse me for the unintended innuendo.

I'm proud to say that Bella's breathing hitched too.

See what I mean by being so whipped?

After getting our drinks, I walked over to me and Bella's usual table. Balancing the tray of delicacies, as Bella would put it, on one hand, I pulled open one chair for her to sit.

She stuck out her tongue at me and blushed. "Edward, you don't have to do that for me. It's not like I'm a princess or anything."

"But you're _my _princess." I retorted.

Her breathing turned hard and she looked down, her face turning crimson. Placing the tray on the table, I sat down and patted the tops of my thighs. "Why, would you rather sit on my lap?" Then I gave her the smile she loved; the one where the corners of my lips would pull up just a little, turning my smile crooked.

Bella gasped and blushed even harder. I laughed at her and guided her to sit. "Shut up, Edward."

I grinned. "Make me."

She looked up, and I was immediately hypnotized by her stunning eyes. Leaning in, her tongue flicked out to lick her dry lips. I immediately licked my own as well. Holy shit . . . the things this girl do to me.

It's enough to make a man beg, much less a hormonal boy who's already experienced getting some.

That's when she pulled back, gave me an innocent kiss on the neck, and went on to suck on her drink mindlessly. Though I knew she was baiting me, I couldn't help but wish she'd given a _real _kiss.

I know, I know. I should man up and kiss her . . . but hot damn! I don't want our first kiss to be on the near back of a freaking cafeteria. Call me cheesy or something, but I wanted it to be someplace special, someplace completely and utterly beautiful. I wanted it to be someplace unforgettable.

Yes, I'm picky, but that comes with the package of dating Bella; she's too precious to be treated like another hook-up.

We ate in silence, both of us attacking our snacks.

"Edward?" Bella asked, shifting in her seat to stare at me. "Yeah?" I answered.

"It's just . . . you still miss Alice, don't you?" she whispered gently, her kind eyes full of understanding and knowledge.

I sighed. "Yeah. I miss her, a lot." Honestly, I can't keep anything from her.

"You know . . . I think she misses you, too." Bella held my hand and squeezed it. I looked at our intertwined hands. One month ago, when we held hands, it didn't have this much feeling and comfort that it brought along. Scratch that. There _was _the feeling of comfort that it presented, now it was just magnified.

"How would you know, love?" I asked.

"Women." she laughed and tapped her pretty head. As her finger left, my lips replaced the spot where she just tapped it.

Then she sighed and leaned in for a hug. And me being me, well, I all but caged her like a prisoner to my hug. As usual, my arms automatically locked around her waist.

I kissed the side of her head again, and smiled when I felt the skin there warming up.

Now, you know what they say about serious relationships? How not every single word is appreciated but the silence in between?

Well, screw that saying, and let it rot in god knows where, because right now, as I am sinking towards depression at the thought of my favorite sister hating me, I needed Bella's beautiful voice to distract me.

And sad to say, the annoyingly hormonal, seventeen year old within me was _so _not doing the job.

"Edward?" Bella asked for me again.

"Yeah?"

"Don't think too much of it, okay? I don't want you messing up your finals because of that . . . just try your best in everything and stuff. Like this summer, we're going to Europe, right?" she twisted around to look earnestly in my eyes.

"Yes, Mom." I tried to sound as monotone as possible.

"Jerk!" she laughed and smacked my arm. I rubbed it lightly, even though I really didn't feel a thing. Then she continued, "Well, as far as I recall, your birthday is on the twentieth of June . . . so that means you'll be spending it in Europe! God, Edward, you're so freaking lucky!"

I laughed at her bewildered expression. Sometimes, Bella can be really slow. "I'm sorry, but did it just occurred to you, or were you planning on a dramatic oh-my-god-I-didn't-realize-it-until-now moment?"

She scowled and stuck out her tongue at me. "Shut it. I was deprived of humor during my childhood."

Laughing once more, I leaned my head against hers. "Well then, I'll try my best to make up for that."

BPOV

"Oh, come on! _Please? _Just one more!" I begged Edward as he drove me to the Newton Outfitter's Store.

"No, baby, you've had enough of the lattes already." he shook his head stubbornly and pulled away from my pouting lips.

"Hmph," I huffed, "You're no fun."

The stupid ass just smiled sexily at me, and god did I want to wipe that smirk away from his lips with my own. When was he going to kiss me already? A teenager can only with so much sexual frustration!

Oh, perfect. Just fabulous. Now I sound so whore-ish.

Not cool, Bella, not cool at all.

"Sweetie, if I could, then I would give you that one cup of latte you're asking for. But you have work, and I'm pretty sure Mrs. Newton would appreciate a normal, sane human rather than a huge ball of energy buzzing around the store, scaring people people with her insanity."

"I'm not insane!"

"Oh really?" he laughed and raised an eyebrow at me.

I tried to keep my mouth shut; who knows what else I might say to him at this point.

Alright, let's just all flashback to the cafe, where Edward and I were having an 'after-lunch' pig out. He ordered three frappes straight, while I ordered something that was called Midnight Delight and another two lattes. All of them were made out of coffee.

And no, I don't regret drinking them. I mean, sure, I'm sort of twitchy and I can't sit still but other than the fact that I've seemed to develop some sort of impulsiveness, I think I'm fine.

But Edward doesn't, and he's the only hurdle preventing me from taking one more latte. God! Those lattes sure are addictive!

"Come on, Edward. Stop being such a sexy ass, over-protective boyfriend and let me have my fun!"

"Nope. I just don't want you to get hurt, is all. I'd give away a cup of latte anytime, but not when you're extremely hyper." he said firmly. Behind his back, I stuck out my tongue at him and crossed my arms over my chest indignantly. I was slipping into full pout mode, getting ready for a war.

And . . . well . . . my plan failed.

Because the next thing I knew, Edward's phone was ringing. He stared at his phone, confused, before he picked it up. He glanced at me before saying, "Hey, what's up?"

There was some sort of buzzing, and I tried to make out the words. I couldn't, though. It was too soft.

So I watched Edward's expression instead. "I'm sorry?" his eyebrows knitted together, and he narrowly avoided the right turn that would take us out of town.

The stupid buzzing came again. "Oh, um, well . . . I've got some school excursion thing during the twenty-third of June, so I hope we can, um, reschedule or something?" Edward cleared his throat. He looked, I don't know, nervous?

Edward pursed his lips.

"Oh, well, actually, I-" he got cut off, and the buzzing go slightly louder. It wasn't enough for me to hear the actual words, though. I thought I caught something like 'ready' and 'lawyer.' Those words startled me. Who was talking to Edward now? Maybe he actually hired a lawyer to help with the disownment and maybe the lawyer was having some trouble sorting it out . . .

Or maybe it could be something worst.

I gulped and reached out for Edward's hand.

It was freezing cold.

I squeezed it, trying to send him some sort of comfort, warmth, anything. He looked somewhat distraught, devastated. His hand was like a fist under mine, and he wasn't attempting to keep his expressions controlled. He listened with his whole body ramrod straight, his stance stiff. He looked terrified, and I saw the seven year old Edward he'd tried so hard to keep intact.

Freaking out, I bit my lip to keep from snatching away his phone and telling the dude to shut the hell up. He was upsetting my boyfriend, surely he knew the line where he had to stop?

No, the dude didn't, because Edward's sudden lack of breathing alarmed me.

"Okay," Edward gushed in the breathless way, "I get it, Carlisle. I'll be there at the subordinate courts on July fourteenth. You don't have to worry, I won't do anything drastic. The decision was yours and Esme's to make, not mine. I understand, Carlisle, I really do. I've been such an ass, a-" he cut himself off, breathing in harder now.

"I've been a _bastard," _he muttered, and his eyes closed, "Such a bastard . . . but I'm trying my best to change, Carlisle. I swear, I'm really trying to change. I won't need a lawyer. I just have to sign some papers and stuff, right? After that . . . I'll be known as Edward with no surname. So, please, let me be for awhile. I'm sorry." then he snapped his phone shut and pinched the bridge between his nose.

I rubbed his shoulder soothingly.

Goddamn Carlisle.

Goddamn him for making Edward go through this shit. My eyes teared up, and I felt so protective of Edward at that moment. If only Edward would tell Carlisle about his past, then everything would be cleared up.

Wait.

Hang on a minute.

Edward didn't want to tell Carlisle of his past directly because he was afraid he wouldn't believe him, right? So that would mean I'd need solid evidence, evidence to prove Edward's story.

But all I could think of was Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper. They knew Edward's story too, but how would that contribute to helping Edward in his disownment case?

Dammit, think Bella, think!

My forehead crumpled in deep thought, going round and round in circles as I tried to come up with solutions. Suddenly, Edward let out a sigh. "C'mon, Bella, let's get you to your work."

He drove in silence, his mind a million miles away. I let him be, because I knew he needed the quietness of the car to help himself thaw out. The drive to the Newton Outfitter's store was short, a mere five minutes, but it still felt as if it was an entire hour.

I bit my lip even more, worried for Edward as he pulled up to the front of the store.

"I'll pick you up later, okay?" he asked, his rigid face warming up as he looked at me. He gave me my favorite smile, but it didn't reach his magnificent emeralds which sank with misery. I reached up to touch his eyes and smoothed out the lines on his forehead.

"Okay." I agreed and put out my arms. He leaned in and hugged me, his long arms interlocking around my waist.

What surprised me was the quiet quivering of his chest.

He was holding back sobs. He was holding back for me. I wanted to say something, but then a knock on the window of his car stopped me. "Bella? You in there?" Mike Newton tried to peer in.

"Yeah," I called back, not attempting to pull away from Edward, who held me tighter to him and kissed my cheek adoringly, as if he didn't want to let me go.

"Oh, um, Mom's calling for you." he said lamely and I thought I heard him walk away.

It was quiet again. Edward was taking deep breaths, and with each breath he took, his arms loosened. After six breaths, he let me go. "Go, love. I'll see you later." He leaned his forehead against mine and kissed the tendrils that hung around there.

"Sure, sure. Promise you'll be here though?" I tried to sound lighthearted for him.

He smiled, genuinely, because my lightheartedness actually worked. Wow.

"I swear." he nodded and gave me another kiss on my cheek. "When will you ever kiss me properly?" I wondered out loud. Oh, shit.

Blushing real hard, I gave a nervous giggle before kissing him on the cheek. Then I made my way out the Volvo, feeling so dumb and stupid. I slammed the door in my rush to get away, unintentionally making a pigeon sitting on the edge of a dustbin fly away.

I whirled around, ran back to the car, and knocked on the tinted windows. It rolled down and I stuck my head in.

I opened my mouth, about to say 'I love you,' but all I got was Edward's lips.

Literally.

Edward was kissing me. Edward was freaking kissing me! On the freaking lips! I closed my eyes, leaning in a little more until my legs were dangling off the window. I didn't expect unimaginable electricity to flood through my entire body. Love, lust, and passion all mixed into one tidal wave of pure ecstasy. His lips, so gentle and smooth, moved against mine.

This was, by far, the most memorable kiss I've ever had. It's not everyday I get to hang off the window of a silver Volvo with the most sexiest and handsome boy kissing me like I've imagined him to be.

So I kissed him back, feeling my heart pound erratically. I yearned to wrap my hands around his muscular neck, to pull him closer, but I heard Mike Newton's annoying voice shout, "Bella! My Mom needs you!"

I groaned into Edward's lips and I could feel him smiling. His lips curved upwards as he pulled away to look into my eyes. He cupped my face and whispered, "There. Your first kiss from me, direct from the same place where we confessed our feelings." When I blushed, he stroked my cheeks lovingly, and I grinned.

"My _best _first kiss." I corrected him and leaned in for one last kiss.

Edward laughed and gave me a brief peck, but it was enough to send the same butterflies that fluttered around in my stomach whenever I was with him into a near frenzy. "Now go, love. The store needs my Bella."

APOV

_Alice Cullen, _I wrote on the form.

Then I sighed and looked at my pairs of boots, trying to decide which one I should bring to Europe. I wanted to bring all of them! They're too precious to be left behind in my beloved shoe room, but the stupid airlines would not allow it. I've already written the complaint letter, but they still won't let me bring them!

Jeez, they suck.

And yes, what seventeen (now going eighteen) year old had a shoe room? Well, that was easy.

Me.

Standing up, I eyed my iMac. What was I supposed to do? Go online on my Facebook and watch as people I've added as a friend document their every thought? I could imagine Tanya Denali's status: _I'm like, soooooo excited 4 d trip! sooooo mch shoppin' 2 do w/ Irina! _

Ugh. They're bitches.

I sat down on my desk, scanning through each stray fashion magazine. _Vogue _did little to distract my mind from my boredom. I'd like to watch a movie, but the problem was, what was I going to watch? Jazzy used to pick the movies; he knew what I liked best.

But now that things between us were . . . broken, so to say, I didn't know what to do.

My heart was broken, completely broken. It killed me to think of Jazzy kissing another girl. It killed me that Jazzy did not seem to care for me at all. I loved Jasper, I've loved him ever since I first saw him, and now . . . I just didn't think things between us were ever going to turn out this way.

Never.

That's when I flopped on the bed, crying my heart out for the _n_th time today. It's been slightly over a month, and while Rose and Em have started to pick out their theme for their wedding (it was brown), I still haven't gotten enough energy to be excited for them.

This was all Edward's fault. If only he hadn't gotten his claws into all of my siblings, if only I'd stopped him, then I wouldn't have to feel all these awful feelings.

It took awhile before I managed to stand up and head over to my bathroom. Washing my face drained a lot of energy from me, and as I looked into the mirror, I wondered who I was looking at.

The small girl in front of me had lanky black hair that hung just below her ears. Her dark brown eyes were sunken, her cheeks were protruding out and her lips were chapped and dry. All in all, she looked like a monster.

_I _looked like a monster.

So I went over to my desk, booted up my iMac, and got a pen and paper ready. The only thing that I could feel now, the only thing that kept me from going totally insane, was the hatred I felt for Edward. He's got the nerve to rub it in my face that he's won over my Jasper, Rose and Emmett. Who does he think he is? God? Ha!

Asshole. That bastard. He's a retard.

Seething, I typed in Edward's name into Google Search. All I got was his Facebook, the Forks High School Online page dedicated to him, and some disgusting pictures taken of him when he was out partying. It revolted me. I wanted to puke right into his smug face.

Who knew that I used to love Edward with everything that I had? Who knew that Edward used to be my favorite brother?

No one. Not even me.

"Argh!" I screamed out, frustrated, and slammed my hand against my desk.

I began sobbing again. The bastard was completely spotless! There was absolutely _nothing _that I could find to make him look bad. Why was everything always lined up for him, but not for me? What did he have that made him so superior?

Through my blurry eyes, I saw something that perked my interest.

_Did you mean: Edward Masen?_ Google Search asked me under the search bar. I clicked on it, hope rising in my heart.

Maybe he had some dirty secret after all.

Now all I had to do was find out what it was.


	15. Waiting For The End

_**Author's Note: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! 77 reviews for All The Right Moves! Are you guys awesome or what? So a SUPER BIG MEGA ULTRA GIGANTIC HUMONGOUS thank you to Emmettroxmysoxoff, disestablishmentaria, marianna, maybebaby23, Holy Shit (hehehe, I loved your username ;P), jenn-is-me, AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234, scareDcat, dvickd and of course, Emoprincess98 (I agree to the fact that PDAs are awesome, I mean, what girl wouldn't want their boy to kiss them in public and proclaim his love to her at the same time? But I don't agree that I'm amazing . . . because in my perspective, amazing= Edward Cullen, don't you think so too? =D) **_

_**Have you guys seen the Honeymoon clip from Breaking Dawn? Well, I sure as hell did and I swear, I spent exactly five minutes afterwards squealing like a little girl. Then I moved on to the wedding clip, and holy shit, I must have fainted from all the screaming. "I've waited a century to marry you, Ms. Swan," Edward says to Bella before he gives her a swoon-worthy kiss. And then there's the commentary from Mr. HotStuff himself, Robert-freaking-Pattinson. IN FULL EDWARD GET UP. I **_**must**_** have died and gone to heaven afterwards, before coming back down to Earth to write this chapter. **_

_**Okay, now I apologize for going completely off topic. ='( If you're a complete Twihard, agonizing over the weeks left for Breaking Dawn Part 1 to come out, hey, the review button is always open!**_

_**So huddle in that comfy seat, grab some snacks, and ENJOY! **_

_**~Serene**_

_**Disclaimer: No matter how many times I wish upon on a stupid shooting star, Twilight will never belong to me. But that doesn't mean I should stop fawning over my poster of Edward Cullen. Mmm. **_

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

So . . . I've got a quick question. When the love of your life still has over thirty minutes left of work to do, and you're stuck in a boring, small and extremely gossipy town, what the heck are you supposed to do?

Jeez, I really shouldn't have drunken three frappes. Now all that's left of my pathetic self is hanging upside down the hood of my Volvo, staring into the gray sky and trying to figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Since I was going to be disowned . . . the only option that remained for me to get into a uni was a scholarship.

And . . . well, I'm not exactly the most resourceful book in the library, aren't I?

So my hopes of going to a university is now, officially, shattered. Sighing, I flipped over on my stomach and tried to find nonexistent scratches on my paint. But no matter how I tried to distract myself, I was still upset.

I mean, who wouldn't be? I may not seem like the guy who'd kill to get into a good university, but the thing was . . . it was my Momma's dream to see me get into an Ivy League college, like Harvard or Dartmouth. Hell, Daddy came from Cornell University in New York. As for my mom, well, she and Daddy got married the minute they got out of high school.

And while Daddy spent three years in Corn-freaking-ell studying and living it up, Momma was the one who'd spent the long nights in their shabby two room flat.

Now tell me who's the asshole here.

Let me just cut in a little and say that life _sucked _for my mom, who never got to experience the university years. She wanted to, she'd told me once, but she was worried that her relationship with Daddy would be on the rocks. So, since Momma loved my Daddy so much (seriously, love makes us do deranged things), she decided to go against her dreams and work part time as a pianist in a local bar somewhere in New York.

Yeah, you heard me. Before Chicago, Daddy and Momma lived in New York. However, I'm not a New Yorker. I'm definitely a Chicago boy, since Momma had me in Illinois.

Because, god help me, if I were to really be a New Yorker, who the hell knows what I'll do. If Chicago made me act like a freaking asshole, what more New York?

It's scary to think of it.

Really.

_She paints her fingers with a close precision, he starts to notice empty bottles of gin_ - my phone suddenly rang, alighting me to Panic! At The Disco's _The Ballad Of Mona Lisa. _Looking into the caller ID, I wondered why on Earth Jasper would call me; he hardly ever does. "Talk to me," I said into my phone and flipped myself onto my back.

"Hey, Edward. Where are you?" Jazz greeted.

"Somewhere in the woods near the Newton Outfitter's store. Why?" I informed him, holding my hand out towards the empty, cloudless sky and pretending that I could touch it. _Yes, _I was that bored.

"Oh, well . . . with finals round the corner, we thought that you'd like to - I don't know, study? You could bring Bella around as well."

"Hmm," I hummed. The truth was; I'd already studied with Bella just a few nights ago. But hey, I could make exceptions. "Sure, Jazz. How about Alice? Is she in on the plan?"

Silence on the other end of the line.

"Jasper? You still with me?" I asked, concerned, and sat up straight. "SHIT!" I cried as I fell sideways, down past the windshield of my car, rolling off the front hood. I landed with a smack on the wet, mossy ground. Ow.

"Edward? Edward!" I heard Jasper yelling, followed by Rose's inevitable screech. Cringing away from my phone, I picked myself off the ground.

Great. Wonderful.

Now I have an ugly, dirt stained shirt. Just perfect. "Edward!" Emmett suddenly boomed, and I realized that they were so much closer than I've deemed them to be. It was pointless to even use my phone now. So I snapped it shut, and sighed as I watched my lovable siblings desperately claw their way through the undergrowth to find me.

Ugh, I swear, the way they love me too much is bad for them. I'm afraid they'll get hurt if I ever screw up on something.

"Oh my god, Edward! Thank Christ!" Rosalie cried as she saw me, somewhat unscathed. Then she tackled me into her tight hug, as if she was trying to breathe in the fact that I was alive or something. I laughed at her relieved face. "Why, Rose? Did you expect me to drop dead?"

"Never!" she gasped, horrified. I ruffled her blonde hair, which came undone from the loose bun she'd tied.

"Hey, man. We're just glad you're not dead or anything. When we heard you curse . . . we didn't think. We just ran." Em confessed, head hanging real low and tackling me in his normal, or seriously abnormal from another point of view, bear hug.

"Which reminds me, how the heck did you guys know where I was? I thought this little secluded place in the woods was impossible to find?" I wondered, eyeing them speculatively.

"Hey, hey, don't look at me!" Em cried, holding out his hands and facing them towards me.

"My phone has a, um, tracker. So we know where you are." Jasper mumbled, looking down at the ground. I stared at him. "Your phone has a freaking _tracker. _What the hell has happened to technology nowadays?"

"Chill, dude. You're just a little behind. Who uses an iPod to listen to music? In the _present, _we use i_Phones." _Emmett gestured proudly while he whipped out his cool looking touch screen phone. "Whatever Em, I still love Blackberry." I laughed and stumbled to check my watch.

Hmm, it's half past five. Bella should be getting off work now. "Guys, I appreciate you coming here, but my gal needs me." I smiled and offered them a ride. They shook their heads.

"Uh-uh, Edward. We're going to spend some family bonding time with our brand new sister." Rose grinned evilly, as she stalked off the little patch of land that we were in. "_And, _there's no more excuses. It's time for me to meet my future sister-in-law." she continued on as she reached the border of the land I'd found.

"She's my future sister-in-law too!" Em and Jazz protested together.

I laughed at them.

They simultaneously glared at me.

I held up my hands. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. But I really gotta go. If you want to bond with my baby, feel free to follow behind Volvie," I said lovingly as I patted the hood of my car. Rose snorted, while Jazz and Em nodded in understanding; they understood the love a man would feel for their first car.

Well, actually, my Ashton was my first car. Volvie came in second, because I refused to use the almighty angel itself when it came to casual driving.

I should probably explain how Bella got her job back at the Newton's. See, Mike-the-Asshole-Newton was hell bent on getting back the top employee his parent's store had ever had, and he'd resorted to practically begging all those who were close to Bella to change her mind. And that included me. While I didn't trust Mike on his feelings for my girl, I knew his actions were true. He just really wanted Bella back on board, and why wouldn't he?

Then, when I spoke some sense into that little stubborn kitten of mine, she finally relented, saying that she was doing this all because of me. Of course, since I'm _such _a dude, I think I might have blushed a lot when she said that.

Hell, I'm even blushing now as I think of it.

Driving straight to the employee's parking lot, where I knew Bella would be waiting by the back door, I checked my rearview mirror. Yep, my mentally challenged siblings were still there. In fact, I could see them already getting out of Em's gigantic Jeep and making their way towards my Bella, who seemed to be taking out some trash.

She didn't notice them, her earpiece filling her ears, as she nodded her head to the music. Her mahogany curls bobbed along with the banging of her head. No doubt, she was listening to that green colored iPod of hers, one that matched mine in terms of model.

But I'd gotten mine in brown, and it was customized to be that way. Okay, I get it. Fate played a little because I'd gotten that iPod three years ago.

All my thoughts fled away as I saw Bella's mouth shape into an 'O' when she caught my siblings' reflection from off the window above the Dumpster. Rosalie attacked her first, and I heard her shouting an excited, "Hi, Bella!" I swear, a few months ago, if someone told me that Rosalie, _Rosalie, _who was cold, frigid and completely bitchy, would ever dare to hug someone, I'll just laugh that off and call the person deranged.

Seeing as Bella was the most alluring and compelling person, I don't blame her for wanting to get to know my baby girl more.

I tried my best to keep my amused face under control as I got out of my car. Then it hit me in full force: I'd missed my Bella, and mostly it was because I kept thinking about that kiss we had earlier this afternoon.

Allow me to enlighten you a little and say; THAT was _the _best kiss in my entire life. EVER. Full stop. Period.

No one, and I do mean _no one, _can ever compare. I can't stop thinking about it, and everytime I do, it made me want to do it again and again. It made me want to nip that little hollow beneath her ear, it made me want to crush her to my chest and wrap my arms tightly around her small, soft and tender waist.

It made me want to whisper _I love you _as I peppered her face and neck with butterfly kisses.

You know you have it bad for someone when, after a few short hours, you feel as though a huge part of you has been missing. Like, maybe your heart or lungs. Yeah, something along those lines.

I walked quickly to where Bella was being attacked by Emmett, who lifted her off the ground and spun her around like the way you'd see long lost lovers meeting in an airport would. I've tried doing that to Bella a couple weeks back, and she'd all but shriek with delight.

Now, with Emmett, her face looked absolutely terrified. Bella didn't know my siblings well enough, but hopefully, this evening out with them would help build a strong relationship with my family. It's such a pity Alice can't be here though. I bet she would've loved getting together with Bella. I've seen the way she warmed up to my love the first time they met.

I'm not such a retard, you know.

"Bellsy!" Em cried, apparently loving his new nickname for her. To an Average Joe, Emmett would look like the most scariest person to ever walk across the planet. But look past his muscles, and into his sky blue eyes, you'd get the perfect concoction for an absolute teddy bear.

Then Jasper saved Bella from Em's 'scary' ways and hugged her like normal, sane person would. I was glad. At least one of my siblings still had some sense in them.

"Greetings, Bella," he smiled and showed her the Alien peace sign. You know . . . the one where your index and middle finger join together, separated by a small space between the ring finger and the pinkie, which are also joined.

I take it back. None of my siblings are normal.

At least I get to be myself whenever I was with them. I stood to the side, watching my siblings gravitate to Bella like I first did. They actually seemed to like her. Thank god. Leaning against the store wall, I watched and listened as Bella interacted with Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper.

"Have you studied for the finals?" Rosalie asked.

"Did you know we're going to Europe?" Em cried out uselessly.

"How did you find the advertisement for that new movie starring Hugh Jackman?" Jasper questioned excitedly.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Chill out!" Bella laughed at them. "Yeah, Rose, I've already studied. And yes, Emmett, I do know that we're going to Europe. As for Jasper . . . well, I didn't really like the new advertisement for the movie Hugh Jackman was starring. In fact, I hated it. I still preferred his performance in _Australia _and _X-Men." _

"I totally agree. God, am I glad to get you as a sister!" Jazz laughed and hugged Bella happily. I smiled at the sight. Blonde meets Brunette, I thought.

Bella, who was probably blushing (I couldn't tell. Her back was to me.), mumbled a thanks and looked around. "Where's, um, where's Edward?"

Stepping up, I curled my arms around Bella's warm waist and pulled her against my chest. I kissed her hair. "Right here, love."

"Jeez, Edward! You gave me a fright!" she scolded me and squirmed a little in my embrace. I only grinned and moved on to kiss her on her cheek. Not minding my siblings penetrating gaze, I whispered, "I missed you. I love you."

"Aww. I missed and love you too." Bella gave me her lovely smile as she leaned her head back and tilted it upwards to gaze me in the eyes. I got lost in her soulful, magnificent, astounding brown eyes. It gave me the tingles, and I have to admit, I began thinking of kissing her again.

Her eyes, which I tried my best to read her soul, moved down to my lips. I knew then she'd been thinking of kissing me too.

To be honest, I wasn't really planning on kissing her in my car, especially not with her dangling off my window. That must have hurt for her, because I knew it did for me when I forgot my keys inside my car and, though the windows were rolled down enough, it didn't stop the edges from biting into my stomach.

But I swear, I'll give Bella the kiss of her life when I take her out on a date next time.

Emmett's booming laugh caused me to look up. "Edward and Bella, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, second comes marriage, third comes a baby on a golden carriage!"

I cocked an eyebrow as I laughed along with him. "What are you, Em, five?"

Bella laughed as Rosalie unabashedly smacked her fiance's head with her palm. "OW!" he cried as he rubbed the back of his skull gingerly.

"My siblings are so immature." I muttered.

"Well, not as immature as you are, little bro." Em scoffed. "Who's the one who played with rubber ducky till he was twelve, huh?"

I gasped. "That's confidential, Emmett!"

"Sorry, the cat's out of the bag." he said, smug. "Why you little-" I growled and let go of Bella to wrestle that brother bear of mine. I collided into him, the force knocking us to the ground, as Emmett and I wrestled to see who stayed on the top. I won, thanks to my agility I might say, and made him eat dirt.

"Enough, baby." Bella choked, trying to kill her laughter, "Give the poor boy some air!"

I stopped, not because it was she who told me to, but because I heard her say 'baby.' To me. To _me. _

Holy shit.

When I'd finally stopped messing around with Emmett, I stood up and analyzed my shirt. It was beyond ruined. I can't believe Bella let someone as dirty as I was hug her. I snorted, realizing that there was a hidden innuendo in that sentence.

But at least Em looked far worst that I did. His shirt was completely ruined. Rosalie made it a point to be at least one meter away from him. I gave him a triumphant grin, which he returned by shooting me a pissed bird, before heading over to my car and popping the trunk's hood up. Searching through my contents again, I managed to find one more spare sweatshirt.

Columbia University, I love you for making awesome sweaters.

By this time, I'd already gotten myself cleaned with a couple of wet tissues. Emmett still looked as dirty as ever. I grimaced with him pityingly before sighing and giving him another spare sweater of mine. It was XXXL, which I was sure would fit him.

Emmett looked touched.

"Who are you and what have you done to Stoic Edward?" he accused whilst putting on his new shirt and getting rid of his old one.

"Oh, I just simply kidnapped him and brought him to some unknown place. Trust me, he'll be gone a _long _time." I put emphasis on the 'long.' Emmett grunted and tried to hug me, but I backed away.

"Dude," I shook my head at him and laughed as he pouted.

"So, where are we going to study, Edward?" Rose asked me. I shrugged. Then Bella opened her mouth as I drew her to me and snuggled against her heavenly scented strawberry hair. "How about my place, Rose? Charlie won't mind." she muttered, embarrassed. God, Bella made a sheepish sentence sound so cute and innocent.

"Your place? Gosh, wouldn't that be a bother?" Rosalie wondered, genuinely concerned for the well being of my baby.

"Nah. I needed to cook dinner anyway. Besides, Edward and I could do some help with History." she smiled at Em, who suddenly looked excited at the prospect of going into uncharted territories; Bella's house was the only home we've never been to. Actually, it only applied to them, since I've already been sneaking into her home for about two weeks already.

Now, don't get any wrong ideas. We were really studying. Really.

"Don't look at me, Bellsy, heaven knows how I suck at Hitler." Emmett laughed and seemingly fell into an easy pattern with her.

"I thought we were doing Stalin?" Bella teased back, remarkably setting his jaw hanging open as he considered the possibility of studying the wrong subject. "Stalin? Shit! I don't even know who the heck he is!" he gasped and whipped out his iPhone.

It's kinda hard not to laugh at Em as he searched the Net through his phone. Rosalie was shaking her head fondly, murmuring "Why did I have to fall in love with someone like him?" As for Jasper, well, let's just say he calmly looked up from his own cellphone, but his gray eyes were wild with worry.

And it wasn't worry for Emmett's educational well-being. It seemed as if he was worried for something far worst than that.

"Hey, Jazz, you okay?" I asked him, and Bella snuggled into my arms.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Totally. Um, should we be going off?" he suggested, but he was looking away from me. My eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Okay. Bella will be riding with me . . . or did you want to spend more time with her?" I addressed them. Secretly, I wanted some alone time with my love.

"Sure, sure. Go ahead, keep her all to yourself. Just remember to put your clothes back on when you're done." Emmett grinned evilly, wagging his eyebrows suggestively. Rosalie, once again, smacked him as Jasper gave them a weak smile. Bella gasped and blushed as she rubbed her face against my chest.

I could only glare at my favorite brother.

* * *

><p>I watched as Bella walked into her kitchen, ready to make dinner.<p>

My phone suddenly rang. I heard a silent gasp, if one could even exist, and it came from Jasper, who looked abruptly alarmed. He rushed over to where I was seated on Bella's couch, watching ESPN with Emmett.

"Don't pick it up," he warned urgently and tried to pry my phone away from my hands. I pulled away from him. "Dude, what is _wrong _with you?" I asked.

"No! Don't!" Jazz cried out as I flipped open my phone and said a quick hello.

The voice on the other end surprised me. "Edward?" Alice asked, her voice tinkling like wind chimes.

I was too shocked to even utter a single 'yeah' or something like that. In fact, so shocked was I that my phone slipped off my fingers and Jasper managed to get a hold of it.

"Alice, what the heck do you think you're trying to achieve, huh? Just let it go!" he yelled into the phone. Emmett's head snapped up immediately, Rose moved closer to Jazz. The atmosphere turned serious and absolutely intense.

"Hey, B, d'you need help with-" I heard Leah's nasal-like voice coming down the stairs, and then the stomping of her feet as she made her way down. The minute she stepped on the bottom step and looked up, she caught my eye.

Her mouth, which was turned up in a smile, immediately tightened. "Oh, I didn't know you were here, asshole." she greeted me.

Okay, another thing to say: Leah and I haven't really, well, we're not exactly on the same wavelength. In fact, she detested me so much, her hatred rivalled Alice's. And she had a right to, I mean, I dumped her after three hours of being her boyfriend. Which girl wouldn't hate someone like that?

But thanks to Bella, Leah tried to tone down her insults.

Rosalie's eyes narrowed as she opened her mouth to say something. Before she could, I shot her a silencing look. Then I greeted Leah."Hi, Leah."

Leah rolled her eyes, as if she couldn't believe I had the nerve to say hi to her, and went ahead to the kitchen. I couldn't hear what she and Bella was talking about, so I turned my attention to Jasper, who was practically whisper-yelling into my phone.

"Well, who cares! Just leave him alone, Alice! What did he ever do to you to make you hate him so much? Didn't he already try saying sorry to you? It's _you _who wouldn't listen! So if you've got nothing better to say, LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE!" We -me, Emmett and Rosalie- gasped as he let out the f-bomb. Jasper _never _cusses unless it was serious.

So this thing with Alice must've been really, really serious.

From behind the wall covering part of Bella's kitchen, Bella was leaning around it to peek at us. I gave her an encouraged grin.

Then I calmly -dude, I really should have an Oscar for this- plucked out my cell from Jasper's clenched hand and spoke into the phone. "Al, calm down okay? Do you want to meet up or something?"

"Yeah, sure. Where are you?" she was speaking in a sort of icy but calm tone.

"I'm at Bella's house. You do know how to get here, don't you? It's Chief Swan's-" I got cut off.

"_Yes, _I know. I'll drive up there, okay?" Then she hung up.

I stared into my phone uncomprehendingly. What just happened? "She's really coming here, isn't she?" Jasper breathed. His face was contorted in stress. I nodded. Rosalie and Emmett stared at each other, sending out vibes of intense tension. "Hey . . . ?" Bella suddenly whispered wonderingly. I looked at her, and tried to get myself lost into her brown gaze.

It didn't work, not this time anyway.

"Alice is coming," I heard myself say in monotone. Her eyes widened. "_Now?" _

I nodded. Then I gulped.

Minutes passed, and I began to worry about Bella's cooking food. She must have noticed too, because she cursed and ran back to the kitchen. Leah, who had wandered in along with Bella, stayed and watched as I began to hyperventilate.

"Hey, Bella?" she called as she eyed me with speculation. Rose and Emmett moved closer to me. "Your beau's shaking real bad. D'you think I should slap him?"

"What? No!" Bella yelled back, her voice lacing with worry and stress. I glanced at Jasper. He was shaking, too.

Somewhere from behind my back, someone knocked on Bella's door. I stiffened, and so did the rest of my siblings. Weirded out, Leah went ahead to open the door. "Is Edward there?" Alice asked Leah mutely, and I swear I felt cold sweat drip down my spine.

"Damn it," I thought I heard Bella curse.

"Hey, asshole, someone's looking or you." Leah informed me, walking back into the living room, where I was still seated. I could only nod.

Then I got up, and said to my siblings, "Don't follow me. Stay here and wait."

BPOV

Stashing the still-hot pan into the sink, I made sure the stove was off before I rushed off to the living room. I heard Edward tell his siblings to wait for him here and that they shouldn't follow him. I made it a point not to look to my left, because if I did, I would see Edward's sister, Alice, leaning against my door frame.

I bumped into Leah and I whispered hurriedly, "Take care of Charlie. I'll explain everything to you later." Then I grabbed hold of Edward's shaking hand and tried to tell him mentally, "You can do this. I'll be with you."

Edward's brilliant green emeralds shone with unrelenting passion as he gave me a kiss on the lips. It wasn't as mind-blowing as the first one was, but under this circumstances, I could expect that.

His lips were urgent and frantic against mine.

Then it was over, and I was being pulled towards my front door. Suddenly, I was face to face with the tiny pixie that caused Edward most of his misery today. I felt my will power tighten as the familiar feeling of wanting to protect Edward aroused.

Today, I will make sure Alice Cullen knew what she was doing to my boyfriend. I would _show _her how much pain he'd have to go through only to be kicked down by someone like her. I gotta admit, Alice was a good person. The problem with her was that she got too emotional at the wrong time. She could have just forgiven Edward, but no, she had to give him grief.

If you ask me what I thought of Alice Cullen, I'd say nothing.

Her dark brown eyes wavered as she saw that Edward wasn't alone. Then she faced me, and her eyes melted. "Oh, um, hello." she greeted awkwardly.

_Why, hello to you too, you ugly two faced bitch. _I growled in my head. Edward squeezed my hand. "Hey, Alice." I nodded stiffly back. She caught the ice in my tone, before she shrank back slightly.

"Let's go somewhere more private, Edward. I need to discuss something with you." she told us, waving her hand slightly. That's when I noticed the papers in her hand. They were printed articles, no doubt from the internet. I caught some of the headlines; _Police still on the mission for missing boy _was one of them. I tried to hold back my gasp as I saw the picture on one of the papers.

It was Edward's dad.

And he looked downright murderous. Without meaning to, I shivered slightly. I didn't know that Edward and Alice was still talking. I wasn't paying attention but time seemed to slow down as I saw the papers. Outside, it poured heavily. Alice gestured for Edward to continue on to his car before she ran across my front yard to her sleek, bright, and completely yellow Porsche.

Oh my god! What's with the Cullens that every single car they have has to be some really cool, new, 'it' thing that the world had just unveiled.

Take for instance Edward's Volvo. I haven't even seen anyone drive a car like that in Phoenix. Well, okay, yes, I did see a couple. But surely no one would expect to find costly cars in a town whose population is less than four thousand?

I'd really have to get used to all the expensive things that the Cullens have if I'm going to be staying by Edward's side for long. And I planned on it.

I pulled up my hoodie, making sure it covered my face, before I dashed across my yard to Edward's Volvo. Beside me, Edward was using his leather jacket to help shield me from the rain. I couldn't help but swoon a bit, I mean, I have the best boyfriend in the world. It'll be insane if I don't swoon over everything he does.

And, trust me, I do. Swoon, that is.

Edward pulled open the door to the shotgun seat and I got in hastily. I used part of my hoodie to wipe off the raindrops that fell down my head, running further down my neck like a little waterfall. The door to the driver's side opened, and Edward got in, looking freaking wet.

I started to shiver badly. The AC system in his car was so not helping with our current situation.

He turned to ask me something, before his eyes widened in realization and horror. "Oh, damn." he cursed, and reached to switch off the air-con. It did very little though; I was still shivering like mad.

He grabbed his jacket from where he'd thrown it in the backseat and handed it over to me. "Wear it, now." he commanded and started to pull away from my driveway. I tried to complain but my teeth kept my from doing so.

I'll bet a million bucks you could hear the chattering of my teeth from a mile away. This wasn't like the last time Edward had chased after me in the pouring rain. Back then, it was quite warm. Now, with the trees swaying along with the wind, it looked like a hurricane would devour the town.

Edward's large jacket fitted snugly against my small body. It provided warmth I never knew it could. Once I'd draped it on myself, I turned to look at Edward and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks," I whispered against his stubble. He hadn't shaved for nearly three days now, but I liked him this way.

Ssh, don't you dare tell anyone!

My boyfriend (god, I don't think I'll ever get used to saying that) returned my smile back and pretty soon, I was snuggled on the side of his arm, which was extended to me. I rubbed my face against the sleeve of his shirt and inhaled his sweet scent. It reminded me once again of freedom.

Cheesy, I get it. But hey, Edward's awesome that way.

I smiled and closed my eyes to bathe in his presence. "Hey, baby?" Edward called softly.

"Yeah, baby?" I replied back. The nickname rolled off my tongue, but it didn't seem to give any justice to the feeling of just calling Edward's name.

Oh my god. I sound like a lovesick teenager.

Wait, I _am _a lovesick teenager.

"I love you." he declared, and his voice ghosted ever so closely to my head, where it was still perched on his shoulder. The boy had nice, lean, user-friendly shoulders that seemed to fit the contours of my head perfectly.

"I love you too." I replied, happy that I could feel this way about someone again. One month ago, Edward and I were just friends. We were Edward, and Bella. Now, we were Edward and Bella, without the comma in between us. Nothing separated us. Sure . . . sometimes I'd think of Jacob, and I'd tell Edward about it.

The best thing about Edward was probably the fact that he was so understanding. He kept his burning questions to himself whenever I'd mark another passing day of Jake's death. Don't get me wrong, I still loved Jacob Black, but Edward dominated my heart now. I did that because it was only fair to the boy who died for me and altered my life. Without Jake, I wouldn't have found Edward.

Up front, the yellow Porsche honked twice.

I scowled.

Then I opened my eyes and pulled away from Edward's warm arm. I looked at him, trying to figure out what his thoughts were. There was a trace of indecision and worry in his thick, masculine eyebrows. His emeralds were dark green in the dim light. You couldn't see the golden specks in them anymore. His perfect mouth, the same one I'd been thinking of kissing ever since this afternoon, were turned down in a grimace.

I flinched. If nothing could go right with Alice Cullen today, I'd do my damnedest to make her pay.

I know, I know. I have evil thoughts for an almost eighteen year old.

We were in La Push Reservation, where it wasn't raining too much. It was only drizzling, but dark clouds plagued the sky.

The yellow Porsche stopped. Edward parked behind Alice's car before turning off the engine and gently chafing his other hand up and down my arms, which were still wrapped around his right one. "Love, do you want to stay here?" he asked me.

I shook my head fiercely. "And miss out on the one time I get to kick your sister's ass? No way."

"Oh, no. No, no. You're not gonna kick my sister's ass. At least, not today." he scolded me and his eyes turned guarded, getting ready to face the unknown. I kissed his jaw.

"It'll be fine, Edward, okay? If you need anything, I'll just be beside you." I assured him, looking up into his brilliant green eyes and getting lost in them. It's kinda hard not to get distracted when my boyfriend had the eyes of a powerful angel.

"Okay." he breathed and leaned his forehead against mine.

"Whatever happens . . . don't let me go." he whispered later, his breathing ragged and almost begging.

"Never," I vowed.

Together, we turned to face Alice. Getting out of the car seemed like an achievement. I pulled up the hood of my hoodie and huddled into Edward's leather jacket. I inhaled his addictive scent, and tried my best to calm my nerves. I wonder what he must be feeling now.

He held my hand almost reverently, like it was a life buoy. Which, under this circumstances, might not really seem like a bad idea. I may be the only thing that'll keep Edward from bursting with unsurpassed anxiety.

And when we stopped directly in front of Alice Cullen, where she was standing dramatically on a freaking cliff, I felt like I could simply slap her. I know, I tried being rational and everything, but she was just taking things a bit too far.

It wasn't nice now. No, it wasn't at all.

Edward took a deep breath before he spoke. "What is it, Alice?"

Suddenly, papers were shoved into his free but surprised hand. They were excerpts from the Chicago Times. We both glanced at each other, and then we looked down to read the articles. Edward coughed, hiding a startled gasp, as recognition hit his green eyes. I peeked over his shoulder and began to read along with him. My stomach clenched in a not-so-good way.

_MAN, 36, SENTENCED TO JAIL FOR DRUG ABUSE_

_Edward Masen Sr., husband of deceased pianist extraordinaire Elizabeth Masen, was sentenced to death for drug use. Mr. Masen reportedly helped traffic the drug, Ketamine. Recent records also show that he has been detained earlier this year for fighting in pubs. _

_While Chicago has been mourning over the death of our beloved Lizzy, Mr. Masen's lawyer claimed that he is still 'shocked and overwhelmed' by his wife's unfortunate death. Though a year has already passed, Mr. Masen still, apparently, has not gotten over his beloved's death._

_Police has been on the hunt, however, for his run-away son, Eddie Masen Jr. No one has seen him, nor heard of him, and investigators are worried that the little boy, whose real name is Edward, might already be dead. With absolutely no leads, little Eddie is nowhere to be found. _

_Police are advising those who know anything about little Eddie Masen to contact them as soon as possible. _

The article was dated nine years ago, when Edward was eight.

I had to choke down the bile in my throat. Edward's hand was shivering in mine, his fingers were icy cold. I tried to warm them up by squeezing his hand multiples times as we read the stupid excerpt, but nothing I did seemed to distract Edward's burning focus on the paper.

"Where did you get this?" he demanded shakily. He looked up to stare into Alice's questioning gaze. I saw her flinch a little as his piercing green eyes, now totally icy, penetrated her dark brown ones.

Goosebumps aroused on my skin.

"The internet can be very resourceful. Now, explain to me Edward, who the heck is this Edward Masen, and why does Elizabeth Masen look so much like you? Is she your sister? Your cousin? Your aunt? Your-" Alice got interrupted when Edward murmured, "She's my mother."

Alice's mouth fell open.

"Your _mother? _But . . . but . . . impossible. How . . . ?" she trailed off helplessly, looking for words. Her expression was utterly shocked, no one could blame her. I began to relax a bit. At least now, she would know the truth.

"Like the article said, Al, she died a decade ago. She was diagnosed with leukemia and she reached stage four when her heart couldn't take it anymore. Daddy, who's Edward Masen by the way, he, um, he got really upset." Edward said quietly, his eyes casting down, unable to meet hers.

"But if you're really Eddie Masen . . . why did you run away?" Alice questioned.

Then she gasped.

_Yup, she hit the jackpot! _

"Was it . . . is it . . . does it have to do with your . . ." she couldn't even finish her sentence, however, Edward understood. He tugged at the hem of his white t-shirt and revealed some of his scars. Naturally, I ran my fingers over them, lingering on the most profound ones. I saw the goosebumps rising on his pale skin.

I blushed. _Keep in control of yourself, Bella! You can hog him later, but for now, let Alice see the evidence!_

"Oh, my god. Oh, my god." I heard Alice whisper in shock.

"You do know what this means, don't you?" I asked for Edward, my mouth unable to keep shut. I looked at Alice, making sure we had eye contact. From under Edward's arm, I saw her shaking her head.

"This means that you were in the wrong. It wasn't Edward who was the bad guy, it was _you. _He was merely trying to bury his past behind, and all you had to do was to give him a chance. He didn't mean to break anyone's heart. He was selfish, yes, but then again, so were you. Edward told me that he'd once tried to tell you the truth, back when you were both thirteen, but you wouldn't let him.

"Alice, if you'd let Edward in, you would have prevented any of _this," _I gestured to the space between the two of them, "from happening. He always loved you, Alice, and those so called 'friends' of yours were manipulating you. It was because of Edward's protectiveness that he went with them and broke their hearts. It was stupid, really, but it was the most effective way. They all hated you from the very beginning.

"You had the hottest guy ever," at this, I made air quotes, "as your brother. You had an amazing boyfriend, your life was perfect. They were jealous, and they fell in love with Edward knowing that, once he broke up with them, his actions would hurt you too, because by this, your 'friends' had an excuse to hate you. All Edward ever did was to look out for you, because he really does love you. But what about you? Do you love Edward like how he loves you?"

My 'speech' ended with me panting a little. I got so freaking hyped up with the whole Edward-protects-you thing that I totally lost it. Beside me, Edward's mouth was open; I could see it in the corner of my eye.

Trust me, I wasn't expecting that huge bomb myself.

I really, really wasn't expecting it at all.

But I felt satisfied, because I knew that it was the truth. Alice might have lived with Edward for nearly ten years, but I know Edward more than she could ever know him. After all, she didn't give him a chance. All she did was to complain, complain and complain.

She didn't see what a good brother Edward was.

At that moment, I begged to god silently that the two of them would be okay. Edward loved Alice to bits, and if she didn't forgive him for this, even after all I've said, he'd be broken again.

And I don't think I'll be enough to heal him anymore.


	16. Weird Minds Work Differently

_**Author's Note: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Jeez, are you guys kidding me? Someone, please, pinch me right now! Seriously, 8-freaking-7 reviews? I swear, you guys rock to the core! So MEGA ULTRA SUPER HUGE GINORMOUS thank yous to del arco iris, Polishbella21, Emoprincess98 (Nah, your typing doesn't suck! I've seen worst. *shudders* Oh, and good luck for that paper you're writing. If it's a school essay, I hope you'll get good marks or something like that! xD), fanficftw23, the very perceptive Emmettroxmysoxoff. (Your suggestion at the end of your review was pretty awesome, in fact, it had me totally off guard! Edward has no idea he's on the missing person's list, Carlisle and Esme wouldn't know about his secret till the VERY end. Trust me, I know I've said this loads of times before, but the thing is, the ending will totally be epic. At least, that's in my opinion. =D), dvickd, Funky Actress (I ****love your username! xD And thanks for all the kind things you said. I'm really glad that people could relate to my story. ^o^) and of course, AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234. **_

_**AND IT'S OFFICIAL PEOPLE! CYKAS HAS REACHED THE TEN THOUSAND HITS MARK! Woots~ So because you guys are so supportive and inspiring, I'm dedicating this chapter to YOU, yeah, YOU! So I hope you'll enjoy this celebratory chapter! =)**_

_**And now that we've practically finished getting out some spoilers (and happy announcements), on with the story! Thanks again for the amazing reviews that you've left behind. So huddle up on that seat, turn up the AC, and ENJOY!**_

_**Finally, if you're diagnosed with OCD (obsessed Cullen disorder . . . or was it obsession?), reviews are very much appreciated!**_

_**~Serene.**_

_**PS. I thought I'd start this chapter with Alice's POV. It might not be such a good idea, but hey, you'll tell me if I suck at catching Alice's hindsight, right? **_

_**Disclaimer: At night, when I'm sure there ain't no mind reader within twenty feet of me, I dream of being Stephenie Meyer, and how awesome it must be to dominate the world with Twilight. And that I was the first one to ever dream about Edward Ab-tastic Cullen. (Didn't she say her idea of Twilight came from a dream? Ooh, Edward . . . ) But unfortunately, the world is unkind to me. Damn, this is one long disclaimer . . .**_

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><p><span>APOV<span>

After all that I have heard Bella say, I could only stare at the papers that Edward still held. I was . . . shocked, so to say. There really wasn't any words for what I was feeling. Devastated, maybe. Confusion, wonder, horror -all of them mixed into one single, unnamed emotion that I could feel. And among the other emotions, compassion and revulsion mingled.

I wonder if it is normal for a person, much less a girl, to be feeling like this.

The one feeling that threw me the most?

Guilt.

It blocked my lungs, choking me, giving me a hard time breathing. In that moment, all I could see were the fights I'd picked with Edward, blaming him for ruining my life. But Bella's revelation made me see the truth; Amber, just like the rest of the bitches in Forks High, were simply _using _me. How could I have been so stupid?

The story of Dad and Mom's discovery of Edward made sense now. They'd told me he was lying in their backyard when they saw him, all bloodied and mangled beyond repair, both emotionally and physically.

I was wrong.

I was so damn wrong.

"Why didn't you tell Dad and Mom?" I choked, desperately trying to remain rational. Everything was in a blur . . . I couldn't tell which side was right and which side was more truer. Who am I going to trust now, especially since all that I know is wrong?

Edward's mouth was pursed as he contemplated telling me. "I don't know, either. I guess . . . I just didn't want anyone to know. I suppose I was scared, and also protective-"

I intervened. "_Protective?_ Of who?"

His eyes closed, Bella sucked in a tight breath. Then he choked, "Daddy."

Edward's _Daddy? _I don't get it. That guy . . . he was the one who was the cause behind Edward's scars. He was the reason why Edward was so closed off to the world. "What?" I gasped.

"Stupid, isn't it?" he laughed darkly.

"Yeah, definitely." Bella muttered, her eyes closed. Then they snapped open as she realized what she'd just said. "Oh, shoot. Sorry, sorry." she apologized and blushed adoringly, looking at the ground. Edward's attention was centered around her immediately, and he leaned down to whisper something in her ear. Her blush magnified, and she started to glance elsewhere other than the boy beside her.

Watching them, you could not deny the strong sense of belonging that they seemed to have to each other. You could literally see sparks fly between them. They belonged with each other. Just like how I used to be with Jasper . . .

I began to worry. All of my other brothers and sister's words then did not make any sense, but now they did.

_"Don't you dare complete that sentence! Edward has changed!" _Rose had shouted at me.

_ "STOP IT ALICE, OKAY? YOU DON'T KNOW A THING SO SHUT UP!" _Jasper had snapped.

_"You heard me. I choose Edward. Like I said before, you don't know anything. Now, please. Leave." _he'd denied me, ultimately breaking my heart and allowing it to lay shattered. Jasper . . . my poor Jasper. Edward's not the only one who needs my apology, so does my ex-love. Or maybe, _true _love.

People say it's better to hit and miss rather than to watch the balls go by. Now that I'm in a dilemma, I can see the hidden meaning in it.

It's time for me to move on.

Starting from now.

"Edward . . . I have something I need to-" Edward rushed up to me, quickly and quietly, as he pressed his long finger to my lips. I had to stretch a little to look him in the eye. We were so close, and I could see the remorse in his eyes.

He regretted hurting me.

God, the guilt is clawing it's way through me! I struggled to keep the tears in my eyes from falling. I will not allow myself to cry in front of him. He needs someone strong by his side, and after everything I've heard, I needed to be strong if I was going to bring back my old relationship with my brother.

I miss him.

"Don't, Al. It's not you, it's _me. _Be mad at me. I'm really sorry, Alice. I swear, I didn't mean to inflict any sadness on you. Seeing the people play around with you, I just couldn't help myself. While Rose, Em and Jazz are pretty supportive, I missed _you, _Alice. I missed all the things we used to do together, like the time when Eric Yorkie picked a fight with you in fourth grade and we played a huge prank on him . . . I miss the way we used to be, Al. And it's killing me to see you hate me so much," he was rambling, but I let him.

"I'm sorry too, Edward . . . I really am." I finally let out the suppressed tears to fall. Edward pulled me closer and patted my head like he used to. I missed this as well, being close to Edward that is.

"Ssh, it's okay. I won't let anything or anyone hurt you ever again." he vowed into my short, spiky black hair which I hadn't washed for nearly a whole day. Edward's predicament had me totally forgetful.

I sniffed. "So that means you'll kick Jasper's butt for me?"

He laughed, and in the background, Bella laughed as well. Her laugh was different; more or less, it was the beautiful melody of bells tinkling together. It was impossible to describe, but when she laughed, you'd want to laugh as well.

"Yeah, definitely." Edward said, patting my head once more before pulling away. Then he touched my nose with his index finger. "But before there's any ass kicking, I want you to get in a freaking shower and wash off all those dirt and grime on your face. Sheesh, you'd think I was hugging a crack-addict or something."

Just like that, I had my brother back. Just like that.

I glared up at him playfully before I smacked his chest. I was too short to reach his head.

"Shut up."

He gave me a grin, and the light in his eyes were impossible to describe. They'd been lost for nearly four years now, and now they were back.

I couldn't help myself. Throwing myself at him, I laughed. It was the probably the first time I felt this contorted sense of happiness. Finally, I could understand my brother. Though it will take a while for me to get used to him; the whole bitch persona still has it's mark on me. I think I can work this whole thing with Edward out.

Putting the past behind me seemed much more simpler than I could ever imagine.

And I totally enjoyed the future that was now set in front of me.

EPOV

How does one describe the feeling of elation without sounding too corny?

Oh yeah. You can't.

Damn it. I guess I'll just have to try then.

I walked with Alice back to her yellow Porsche; she'd decided not to come with us. There was no need to tell her that I traded in my Audi Cooper for that Porsche of hers. Yeah, I know, almost eighteen year olds are so not entitled to three cars, especially cars which costs way more than the town's yearly income, but you can't deny a boy of his pleasures, can you?

Nah, I'm just kidding. The whole Alice-has-forgiven-me thing hasn't worn off yet. Which is a good thing.

Beside me, Bella was holding my hand tightly. She was reading through the articles, trying to commit them to memory, as Alice and I small talked about how our lives had been without each other. See, after I'd turned fourteen and finally gotten some, I completely, if not utterly, pushed Alice away in an attempt for her not to get hurt by the girls I've been with.

Which, as it turns out, resorted to a much more chaotic outcome.

But hey, the past is the past. How did that saying go? The past is yesterday, the future is tomorrow, and the present is what? Sorry, I don't really pay attention to people who goes on and on about how important life is. I just don't get it.

If life was meant to be enjoyable, why the heck are we still experiencing the bitterness of it?

Okay, enough with the ramblings.

"-my god." Bella breathed.

I looked at her. "What is it, baby?"

"Look, Edward, just look at this." she said, me and Alice leaning towards her to read the article.

It was talking about my Daddy, the article dating about nine years ago. Only the first article I'd read with Bella was dated on October the twentieth. This article was dated a week after that. In the article, they were talking about how the judge released my father, and that he was sent to a mental institution.

He was insane, literally, after all.

But this was no news to me. I already knew it.

"Yeah, I, um, I knew about that . . ." I whispered, looking at the ground once again. I could feel Alice and Bella's heated stares.

"What do you mean?" they both asked at once. Realizing they'd asked the same question, they turned to each other and laughed. "Jeez, supportive much?" I teased them both.

And then my chest was met with two slaps.

Bella and Alice laughed again. "We should hang out sometime, maybe go to Seattle to do some shopping. Have you heard that Jimmy Choos opened a new store there?" Alice asked excitedly.

Women and their shoes. I swear, the workings of a woman's mind is just too complicated to decipher.

"Ooh, yeah, I heard. But I wasn't really eyeing that store . . . have you seen the new boutique in Port Angeles? The one that sold awesome hoodies? Man, I would kill to get the green one." Bella sighed dreamily.

Huh? Wait, wait a second?

I thought Bella _hated _shopping?

I voiced that out. "Bella, baby, I thought you hated shopping?"

She shook her head slightly. "No, not really. I just really like down-to-earth stores that aren't too flashy and stuff. Stilettos are sort of mandatory if you're a cheerleader at a humongous high school."

"So . . . why a green hoodie?" I asked stupidly.

"Because it's the color of your eyes. _Duh." _she answered as if it was the simplest fact anyone, anywhere would know. My ears grew pretty hot and I caught Alice smiling amusedly at me. She opened her mouth to say something but I glared her to say _don't you dare _silently. She snickered, and begun to talk to Bella again.

As they exchanged numbers, suddenly becoming BFFs, I grinned at how cute they look with each other.

Seriously, it's as if they're Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. They just clicked with each other.

"So I'll see you tomorrow?" Alice inquired.

"Definitely." Bella nodded and opened up her arms. Alice looked at it briefly, her expression shocked, before Bella pulled her into that warm, cuddly, and soothing hug of hers.

Let's just say I've long ago given up thinking that the weird thoughts in my head were cheesy or corny. Hey, I needed to suck it up and be a man about it.

"I'll see you later, Bella. Bye, Edward!" Alice squealed, obnoxiously sounding like her old self. I was happy to hear her like that again; god knows I've spent so many years wishing to hear it once more.

"Bye, Al." I smiled and leaned into her extended arms. I hugged her closer to my side and whispered in her ear, "I love you, Al. Don't you ever forget that."

Alice laughed and pulled back just enough to say, "I love you too, big brother."

My heart inflated like it was a balloon set on a helium machine. It was growing, growing, growing . . . it grew so much that I thought it'll crack my ribs. I heard Bella say a breathless 'aww' as she watched us exchange our goodbyes.

"Catch you in the house!" Alice gave me one last smile before she slid into her Porsche. She revved the engine, veered to her left, and pulled out of the parking lot in which we've been in. La Push beach had this parking lot around for nearly a decade, but no one knew about it. Well, no one except for the kids in Forks High.

Alice had planned a party last year on the cliff which she had her confrontation with me just now, so we knew exactly where to go. As for Bella, she was staring around in fascination. It was probably her first time here in La Push.

"Wow." she breathed.

"Wow, indeed." I laughed and pulled her closer to me. I hugged her then, burying my face in her beautifully soft mahogany hair and simply inhaled the strong scent of strawberries. It was still drizzling, but it wasn't something that I couldn't handle.

"I'm glad," she whispered into my neck.

"For what?" I asked.

"Because you and Alice made up."

It took everything I had not to hug her tighter to me and spin her around. "Well then, so am I. You can't imagine how I feel when she said sorry. But it's wrong, you know. She shouldn't be apologizing to me. It should be the opposite."

"Either way, the main point is that you're okay with her. That's what matters."

I nodded and kissed her hair. "Thank you Bella."

"For what?"

"For _everything." _I answered and pulled away to look her in the eyes. "I love you, Bella. Forever and always. You are my life now." Whoa, did I seriously just say that? Damn, I'm getting pretty good at voicing my affections for my baby girl.

Bella blushed and hid her face in my chest. I leaned my chin into her head and nuzzled her hair, feeling the softness of it rub against the side of my face. "I love you too, Edward. It won't ever change."

Yep, I should definitely profess my love for her more often.

I drove her back to her house, making sure Chief Swan knew where we were. About the Chief . . . um, let's just say that we were on a truce. Should I ever break Bella's heart (which, trust me, I have absolutely _no _intention of doing), he'll never allow me to see the light again. Literally. And since this is the same Chief who could easily kill a freaking grizzly bear, much less an almost eighteen year old with very little defense training, I had to give him my word.

But it was a moot point anyway. I will never, ever hurt Bella.

We settled down in her living room once more. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper had been dying to know what Alice and I discussed. I did kick Jasper's ass though. It was for Alice. So after Em gave me a high five and Rose sighed in frustration, I told them that Alice had forgiven me.

Their reaction?

"ABOUT TIME!" Rose yelled and threw her hands up in the air. I could already see her thoughts written in her face, though I don't think the word 'hallelujah' is a thought . . .

"Thank Christ, the girl finally saw the light!" Emmett boomed and spun Bella around for no reason. This time, Bella was anticipating it. In fact, she even laughed along with Em as they fake danced across the room, Bella stepping onto Em's gigantic feet since she really had no idea how to dance.

But it was Jasper's reaction that caught me totally off guard. He wasn't happy, neither was he sad. It was as if it was neutral. I began to wonder if Alice meant anything to him at all.

I think I'll have a talk with him later on.

And so we studied, Charlie making it a point not to disturb us when he went down to grab another bottle of beer. I shuddered, remembering Daddy and his alcoholic ways. Luckily, no one saw it.

Eleven o'clock in the night found us still studying rapidly. Thanks to Bella and her incredible intelligence (dude, I'm not kidding) we managed to get pass three quarters of the textbooks we were supposed to be studying. Emmett finally got Stalin, even passing the quick quizzes Bella made for him.

"Boo-yah!" he cried, pumping his fist in the air.

Charlie's snores stuttered, and that was when we realized that we were too loud. "Shit, Bella, I'm so sorry!" Emmett apologized, bowing his head in shame.

We could only laugh at him.

Then Bella let out an unintended yawn, and I suggested for us to get our butts home. Bella slept at ten-ish. She said it was because she really enjoyed sleeping long hours.

Packing our stuff at a sluggish pace, my phone suddenly rang. I picked it up, smiling as I heard Alice's voice ring out, "Edward, it's fifteen minutes past eleven. Where the heck are you? I miss you."

"Aww, I miss you too, Al. We're packing up already. Sorry it took us too long." I yawned and scratched my belly; it's a habit I do whenever I felt rather sleepy or hungry. Bella found it adoring because she said I looked so cute.

Crap, I'm going off topic.

"Hmph. Oh, by the way, I got Mom and Dad to sign your European excursion slip. Mom's giving it to the school first thing tomorrow."

I gaped. "What? You got them to do that?"

"After a little pleading, yeah."

"Oh . . . that's . . . " I trailed off, unsure of how to thank her.

"No need to thank me, big bro. After all you've done for me, this is the least I could do." I could hear her smiling through the phone. I grinned widely, causing Em and the others to look at me more curiously.

"But still, Al. Thanks." I insisted.

"Is Bella there?" she asked.

"Yeah, you wanna talk to her?"

"Sure, why not?"

I pressed my phone to Bella's ear, and she eagerly leaned into it. "Hi, Alice." she murmured sleepily.

Leaving them alone to their business, I helped my siblings to pack our studying materials. Bella was chattering excitedly on the phone, granted her eyes were halfway closed, but still. Alice must have said something related to me, because in the next second, Bella was looking at me and blushing.

I raised my eyebrows in a 'what?' gesture. My beautiful baby girl shook her head and smiled goofily. I drew her closer to me and hugged her tightly against my chest. "Love, I need my phone back." I asked politely, saving Bella from her killer blushes. Not that I didn't like seeing her blush, in fact, I love it, but I wanted to be the only one who could _really _make her blush.

Yes, yes, yes. I'm selfish.

"Sure, Alice. I'll see you tomorrow. Night!" Bella said into the phone and handed it back to me.

"You heard my baby," I told Alice over my cell, "it's a good night for you too. I might be stopping by the Lodge later on. I've still got to check out the new schedule that they posted up for me and the other part-time pianist-"

"Dang it," she cursed.

"Cheer up Alice. I'll make you special pancakes tomorrow, how about that?"

She gave her signature squeal. "Pancakes! I love pancakes! I can't believe you still remember that!"

Laughing, I nodded to Bella, who was pouting slightly. I gave her a kiss on the forehead, and her cheeks flooded with warmth and crimson red. "Of course I do. What do you want over it? Maple syrup with a tiny wedge of half-melted butter and fresh strawberries?"

"Of course!"

I laughed again. "Okay, Al. I'll cook you some-"

"I want pancakes too!" Emmett suddenly boomed from behind me. I gave a startled shout and jumped about a feet into the air. "Emmett!" I scolded and smacked the back of his head. He neatly dodged my attack, shuffling slightly to his left, which made me hit Jasper instead. "Oh, shoot! Sorry, Jazz!" I quickly muttered.

But it was too late.

A war broke out between me and my brothers. Suddenly, we were pillow fighting, using Bella's cushions as ammunition. God, that sounded wrong. Pillows were thrown everywhere, three hit me in the face. I could hear Bella's laugh ringing above all the others as me and my brothers fought for control.

"Dude, enough!" Em was begging me as I straddled him once more, my arms filled with the same cushions that got me in the face.

"Nu-uh. You started this, you end this. The _right _way." I smiled and bombarded Em's whole body with the pillows.

We ended up rolling on the floor, laughing like crazy. I swear, I'm about a few moments away from peeing. Bella was bending over her knees, trying to catch her breath, but laughing too hard to do so. As was Rose. Em, Jazz and I were all on the floor, laughing for all that we were worth.

"What is this?" the Chief's commanding voice suddenly demanded from the stairs.

Ooookay. Everybody together now: OH SHIT!

"Er . . . we're really sorry to have disturbed you, Chief Swan-" I jumped to my apology.

"Your little act of straddling your brother looked so wrong from my point of view, Edwin-" Bella gasped and whirled around to interrupt her father.

"_Dad! _How many times do I have to tell you? It's Ed_ward._"

"Well then, Ed_ward, _the next time you feel any sexual urges for your brother, please feel free to visit the local psychiatrist. She knows how to deal with confused teenagers." the Chief harrumphed and Emmett and Jasper burst out in laughter.

"DAD! Are you completely ballistic?" Bella gasped and hid her face in her hands.

"Well, sooorry. That was what I was just observing. By the way, your sister, Alice, is a very nice, civilized person to talk to." Chief Swan nodded and handed me my phone.

Wait, how did it even end up with him in the first place?

"It was lying around," he answered the big question mark on my head.

"Oh." I said lamely and felt my ears grow extremely hot. I looked everywhere but him.

"Hey, Alice . . ." I greeted into my phone, only to be met by her laughter. "God, Edward! Don't think I didn't hear that!" she gasped in between laughs.

"Shut up." I instructed, and my ears grew impossibly warmer.

I think I was blushing a little, too. I didn't know. I tried to focus on Alice's goodbye as I shut my phone and turned to my siblings, who were still shaking with laughter. "I think we're trespassing into uncharted waters, guys. Let's move out." I choked, trying my best not to show any embarrassment, but failing.

Miserably.

"Sorry to disrupt your peace, sir. I shall be taking my leave now." Jeez, when had I become so formal? The Chief raised an eyebrow at me while he chuckled.

"Nah, it's okay. As long as my daughter is happy, I'm happy." he smiled and wrapped an arm around Bella. She smiled at her father. In that exact instant, I could see how alike the two of them were. Chief Swan was pretty handsome, since he was only thirty six -going thirty seven- years old. He had good looks, and Bella seemed to have inherited his brown eyes and hair.

They looked pretty similar, because both of them looked really outstanding.

But I guess the 'beautiful and handsome' genes run in their family. Bella admitted that she acted a great deal like her father; responsible, mature, unable to sit still in a place where help was needed.

That's another thing as to why I love her, she's always the kind soul.

Okay fine. You caught me. I love Bella. Period.

Now _please _don't make me blush. I'm already having trouble controlling the blush that I have _now. _

After the Chief went up to get some rest, my siblings decided to head home first. They hugged Bella goodbye, looking sad that they were going to leave her behind. It almost felt like they were contemplating kidnapping her.

Bella walked me to her door. As I turned to say goodnight and goodbye, her eyes were staring off into space. "What's wrong?" I asked her.

"It's just . . . don't you ever get tired of being stuck in . . . _this," _she made an odd gesture with her fingers.

I didn't understand. "What?"

"You know, always being pushed around? Getting drama? You know it's not normal for people, much less teenagers like us to be in these kind of situations. Like-like your past, and Alice, now Carlisle and Esme-"

"Well, getting disowned is definitely _not _normal." I laughed.

"Very mature, Edward." she scoffed and leaned in to my extended arms. I cradled her softly against my body. "Love, it's okay. Really. We just have to face it, I'm not exactly the perfect boyfriend everyone wants me to be towards you, too-"

"No, no. It's not that. You're perfect, Edward. You're kinda like . . . like my protector."

I grinned, unable of help myself. "That's a very fitting description, Ms. Swan. You know the lengths that I would go to just to save you from all that has the potential to hurt you."

Despite using my improved but still unconvincing British accent, I didn't add the words that were ringing my in my head. _Even if it means that I'm the one who has to be forfeited for you. _

Yeah. I'm whipped.

"Very well, kind sir, I expect you to hold on to that." Bella said kindly, in her British accent that usually drove me crazy. I laughed. It had been so long since I last heard her speak like that.

"Oh, trust me, my dear. I intend to utterly do so." And then I leaned down to kiss her, completely enveloped in her stunned expression.

BPOV

Days passed.

Finals, which Edward and I have been studying for painstakingly every night (that is, if we weren't too busy kissing), finally dawned upon us. Even Emmett was having trouble swallowing his chicken pie this morning. Again, Edward was the amazing cook behind all this.

If you've ever eaten chicken that tasted out of this world, in the good sense anyway, times that by an infinity, and you'll get Edward's awesome pie. His hands worked wonders. Literally.

Like the time when he held me as I sobbed over the computer, reading another hateful e-mail from Rachel Black. He didn't make a sound, only holding me and letting me stain his vintage The Beatles shirt with salt water. Afterwards, when I was calm enough to fall asleep in his arms, he carried me to my bedroom and sung me to a more comfortable slumber. Of course, he did all this with Charlie watching us.

The next day I asked him what song he was singing. He told me it was my lullaby.

_My _lullaby. Ha! Beat that, Ms. Blonde-Huge-Bust, AKA Tanya Denali! Did Edward make you a lullaby when the two of you were dating? No? Well then, too bad! Now stop flirting with him and move on to Tyler or Mike, because the sight of you 'accentuating' your boobs is making me gag. Edward's obviously straining away from you, so catch the hint already!

We were in the classroom, seated at rows of five. It just so happened that Ms. Blonde-Huge-Bust was seated near Edward, so she was making a futile attempt to claim him once again.

She wish.

I was practically seething in rage. I felt like I could snap her neck like a twig, I mean, I wasn't normally a very violent person, but seeing Tanya Denali flirt around _my _Edward was too much.

My angelic boyfriend kept glancing over to me for help, but I couldn't do anything, because the teacher was already distributing the examination papers. It was Calculus, my first paper, and I began to wonder what it would feel like if I was a senior and taking finals for the last time . . .

Back to the present.

Edward finally had enough of Tanya, and he raised his hand quietly. "Sir?" he called on the teacher.

"Yes, Edward?" Mr. Varner, who was previously teaching English but instead taught Mathematics now, answered.

"Could I please change seats? Ms. Denali here is really, um, disturbing." then he looked guilty and looked down at his table.

"I beg your pardon?" the teacher asked, and the whole class busted out in laughter.

"Never mind," Edward muttered, his ears turning the hint of red. I grinned. Then he turned to me and gave me a huge smile. I smiled even wider and gave him a flying kiss, you know, the one where you pout your lips and kiss the air. His green emeralds darkened for a second, before he snatched the air in front of him and kissed his clenched fist.

He kept eye contact with me as he did so, and his magnificent green emeralds pooled with mischievous twinkling.

I giggled. How absurd my boyfriend could be.

After the paper, Edward and I headed over to his house to do some last minute revising. Since Alice now insisted on going to school with him and his siblings, the Volvo was full, so I finally had the excuse to use my truck. Charlie was beginning to worry that it would soon rust to death on my sidewalk.

The Cullens' gigantic dream house was vastly becoming my second home. Sure, I didn't exactly sleep there but I sure as hell spent most of my time lounging around Edward's huge room, just chilling.

Today, Alice instructed the boys to go and get us some food from the Lodge. It's kind of funny, really, how well she fit in with the rest of us. It's like she was already _there, _you know? Granted, she wasn't on speaking terms with Jasper, who always, _always, _tried to get her to talk to him, Alice was easily accepted into our little family.

Rose and Em even apologized to her for everything that they said whenever they fought with each other in the past. Alice did the exact same thing, but it was useless against Rose's deaf ear. In Rosalie's opinion, it was nobody's fault.

Sometimes, even the beautiful Rosalie could be stubborn.

Yeah, you can probably say that life has been going really well.

And yet it didn't stop me from worrying about Leah. Don't get me wrong, everything's okay with her now, the problem was . . . Seth.

Her lovable, endearing but completely torn brother whose been calling me every night to bring Leah home. Add Paul and Jared to that, you'll get the whole I-want-Leah-back Army. I told Leah that maybe she should take it easy, because Sam was part of them as well, but she kept insisting on staying over for a while longer.

Who am I to deny my best friend, even after all the bitterness she's been through?

So I let her stay, seeing as Leah herself was getting pretty cranky. She hated the rain. It would only be a while before she cracked. But then again, Leah had changed drastically. Yeah, sure, she still hates my Edward, but something was different about her. There was a glow that surrounded her . . . almost like she was satisfied.

Or, in a much less complicated sense of words, Leah was _happy. _

"-ella. Yoohoo, Earth to Bella? Edward, I think she's temporarily blind and deaf." Alice was joking. The boys must have gotten back awhile ago. I guess I was just too distracted.

I snapped out of my thoughts. "Huh? What?"

Edward laughed and tightened his arms around me. Whoa, I must have been really absorbed in my thoughts, seeing as I didn't realize Edward was hugging me up till now.

We were seated in his room, all of us in a loose circle. Alice was wedged in between me and Rose, probably because the only other available seat was beside Jasper. Edward, ever the loyal boyfriend (god, I think I'm blushing now), was seated beside me, half of me on his lap.

Emmett was busy attacking another grilled cheese sandwich which Edward must made. And Jasper . . . well, let's just say he's gone back to staring after Alice with longing.

The atmosphere?

Definitely light. I mean, Emmett's doing a freaking impersonation of how a pig talks in Latin. I laughed at his antics, glad that for some reason, I was part of this family.

"Oh, wait, picture moment!" Alice suddenly cried out, running over to her bag which laid beside Rose. So she literally crawled over Rose's lap, grabbed her Gucci handbag, and pulled out a small camera. You know, the one where there was film inside it and then you'd have to wait a few moments for the picture to print out underneath the side of the camera.

You see, Alice had developed an obsession with taking pictures only two days ago. Edward being Edward, well, let's just say he went along with his sister's craziness. He was the one who bought her the camera, using some of the money he made from playing the piano in the Lodge.

"I still don't get why you're letting Alice get away with this," I told him, gesturing to his excited sister. Only fifteen days ago did I hate his sister so much because of the misery she was putting him through.

He smiled down at me, momentarily entrancing me with his eyes, and said gruffly, "Baby, this is how Alice was like ever since. She was, ah, crazy ever since."

"Wow, I feel very loved, Edward. I feel so loved!" Alice pouted sarcastically, making me laugh at her childish demeanor.

It's funny really, I've never laughed so much before.

Not until I met Edward and his family though. Rosalie suddenly sighed, and it was quiet. Emmett stopped snorting through his sandwich.

"I don't want this to end." Rosalie muttered.

"For what to end?" Alice asked.

Then I gasped, "Oh, shit."

Edward had yet to tell Alice about the disownment. He shifted uncomfortably beside me as I looked up to gauge his reaction. His emeralds were so deep, I couldn't imagine anything that was lying at the bottom of his green pools.

Man, I really am a hopeless romantic, aren't I?

"For _what _to end, Edward?" Alice asked again, completely frozen with her camera in her hands, Jasper and Emmett simply staring at the ground, fists clenched. For once, I got to see Emmett's serious face. It frightened me. The seriousness didn't belong there, it seemed so _wrong. _

Apparently, Rosalie couldn't take it any longer. The tension in the room was so thick and almost tangible. "Dad and Mom's going to disown Edward." she blurted out, and I heard Edward breathe out an 'oh shit' himself.

Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around his right one, and buried my face in his sleeve. Edward stroked my hair, and I could feel his hand shaking a bit.

"You're kidding, right . . . ?" Alice was unsure.

I peeked at Edward. He was shaking his head while looking straight at his golden carpet. Despite the warmth radiating from him, I felt my whole body shudder.

"Oh, my god. But Dad and Mom never . . ." Alice trailed off, her cheery voice sounding shocked and hard.

Then she shouted, "Screw this! Damn it, Edward! If you're not going to tell them, I am-"

"No! Wait, Alice! Don't, just don't! It's their decision, Al, you can't stop them. And I don't want them to know about my-my past. Too many people know, I can't risk anyone else. It will . . . it won't help my protection of my father." Edward stopped Alice, his voice equally hard.

This is another thing about Edward that made me love him. He just loved people too much.

"Your _father? _Edward, he's the one who gave you all your scars! He's the one who hurt you and made you the way you were, remember?"

"I can't just leave him alone! He's my father!"

"But it's just . . . it's so _wrong! _He doesn't deserve your protection!"

"Maybe he doesn't," Edward breathed, "But I know for one thing that I'll never give up on him. Not now, not ever."

And there it was. Finality.

I was shocked. Edward spoke of his father as if he was the right one. It's as if Edward loved his father even though he abused him. Compassion was a great thing, but being blinded by it was a wholly other thing. Silence engulfed the whole room as Alice and Edward stared at each other.

I held his hand.

Then Alice suddenly broke down, tears marring her pretty face, as she sobbed, "I don't want you to go . . . I don't want to lose you . . . I'm sorry, so sorry . . . Don't leave . . . please, _please . . ._"

That did it.

I broke down as well, unable to see Edward without his siblings. He wasn't himself when he was not with them. Beside me, Rosalie was shaking with her own cries, and we leaned into each other, hugging. She was crying for her lost brother. I was crying for _them. _

I heard some shuffling, then some movement, before someone plopped down next to me. It was Emmett, and his big sky blue eyes were hiding tears. "Hey, Rosie, it's okay. Edward will still be our brother. We'll still be together. It's just paper, not the real thing."

"Oh, Emmett." Rosalie sobbed and reached toward her beloved's neck. She wrapped herself around the big teddy bear I've known to be Emmett, and I watch the people around me draw closer to Edward, before hugging him fiercely. Everyone, including Alice.

They were like a whole family about to say goodbye for good. Now was not the time for me to intervene into their small circle of trust. They deserved some sibling bonding, too. I'm just an outsider, watching them, not really understanding the bond forged between siblings. Being the only child had it's benefits and consequences.

But as I watch the Cullens embrace one another, all bonding together in their fear of losing Edward, I realized that I do know the meaning of true, sibling love. It matches that of a lover, thought not as quite devastating. Edward was their brother for all intents and purposes.

And I was certain that no matter what happened, they'd always be together.

That was the first time I ever understood the mystery behind Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Edward. While Emmett might be the big brother, Edward was definitely the main core of them. He was the one who kept them together.

Whoa.

I simply _must _find a way for them to stay together. It's almost killing me to see little Alice cry her heart out, or frigid Rosalie sobbing. But what made it worst?

Edward's regretful expression.

Suddenly, Jasper pulled away slightly and extended one arm towards me. "C'mere, Bella. Stop being the strong one and be a softie for once," he joked, his gray eyes fighting tears that threatened to spill.

I laughed and stumbled over to his side.

It's nice to be accepted so easily into their intimate group, I realized. It's not like a group of friends, no, it was _way _more than that.

My heart shifted, and suddenly, it wasn't only Edward that I was in love with.

I was in love with Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper . . . and now, Alice. They are part of my family now. They are my brothers and sisters as well.

They are what makes _me. _


	17. Move Along

_**Author's Note: (Unleashes an Alice-worthy scream) 96 reviews! 96 FREAKING reviews! Oh my gosh, I love you guys too much! So SUPER MEGA ULTRA HUGE GIGANTIC MEGA (I said this again, didn't I?) thank yous to del arco iris (I'm so sorry if I made you cry! D=), luhexayy, Funky Actress, fanficftw23 (Hahaha! Thanks for the heads-up, I guess he ****is ****getting pretty girly. Sorry, I just get too caught up with Bella and Alice, so it must have been rubbing off him. Okay, I'll try my best to make him be a ****man ****again. But I hope it didn't affect the way you see the story, though. O.O), Emoprincess98 (Congrats on that A you got. Bet you deserved it! =) And who says you're talking like those preppy bitches? I do it too, like, seriously! ;D), the lovely Emmettroxmysoxoff (You deserve an Edward for all the nice things you said to me. They're all really inspirational. You know, when I ran out of inspiration for the chapters and started feeling like I should put this story on hiatus, I took one look at your awesome reviews and felt myself cheering up. You rock to the core! ^^), JJkat, dvickd (Wow, thanks! That's one really perceptive review you left me, and it had me re-reading the chapter to catch the points you highlighted, because I really didn't plan on adding them in. Alice and Jasper . . . well, I can only reveal that Alice is mad at Jasper for keeping Edward's secret from her, because she trusts Jasper so much, it hurts her that he doesn't trust her enough to keep the secret. The chapter after this will involve some final Leah action. I hope you'll like this chappie, though. =D) and of course, AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234. **_

**_I'd like to give a shoutout to Emmettroxmysoxoff and Emoprincess98. These people's reviews really helped me through this chapter, because I completely lost inspiration for it. But when I realized that there are lots of people who actually want to read this story . . . well, I sort of got revitalized. So an extra helping of THANK YOUs to Emmettroxmysoxoff and Emoprincess98. =)_**

**_Also, there a surprise at the end of this chapter. I thought you guys might like it, but don't you dare skip the rest of the chapter! ;)_**

_**And finally, huddle up on that seat, grab some awesome munchkins, and ENJOY. **_

_**~Serene.**_

_**Disclaimer: Though I may own an awesome Edward Cullen poster, Twilight (nor Mr. Sparkly himself) will never belong to me. **_

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

As the bell rang, signalling the end of the final paper I had for finals, an announcement came on the speakers.

_"To all Juniors attending the European excursion, do meet Principal Greene at the gym for a briefing after your last paper. This is compulsory. Failure to attend the briefing will resort to being taken out of the excursion itself. Thank you." _

Once the announcement was done, Mr. Jefferson, who taught Government, barked out, "Pass your answer scripts to the front, people. And don't even bother comparing answers! Mr. Newton! You are _not _allowed to use your cellphone until the exam is over and I have dismissed you! Give it to me!"

The class snickered quietly as Mike hung his head and sheepishly gave his phone to the teacher.

"Retard." I snorted.

"What was that, Mr. Cullen?" Mr. Jefferson inquired, looking at me harshly.

"No-nothing, sir. I just said 'boulevard.'" Lying came easy, because I've been doing it for nearly my whole life. He must have bought it, because he nodded once and returned to checking the papers, trying to make sure everyone had handed in their scripts.

From the back of the room, I could hear Bella muttering, "Boulevard?" I fought back a smile as I turned to look at my girlfriend, who now held the longest standing record in the history of my dating life.

"Alright," the teacher proclaimed, "Class dismissed."

I couldn't help the sense of relief and excitement as Mr. Jefferson dismissed us. "YEAH!" I cried out, unable to stop myself from standing on my chair and pumping my fist in the air.

What?

It's the end of exams, dude. You'd be an idiot if you won't feel some sense of release or something, right?

That's when I realized that I was the only one pumping my fist in the air. From the back, Bella was laughing like crazy, the pealing of bells smothering my embarrassment.

"Mr. Cullen? Is there a problem?" the teacher asked me, questioning my sanity.

"Er, no, sir." I mumbled.

God, I felt like a freaking idiot. My ears grew hot and I forced back profanities that threatened to be unleashed from my mouth. I clenched my fists in an effort to do so, and everyone was practically teasing me with their eyes.

When they stood up, I immediately went over to Bella's desk, trying very hard not to look into her eyes. "Hey, Cullen!" Mike Newton suddenly called out, and I turned, but I'd already decided not to answer him. "What do you want, Newton?" I growled back, showing him who's the boss. He shrank back. Looks like my reputation as a badass isn't really that far gone.

"Um, I just . . . I'm holding a party later on tonight, y'know . . . to celebrate the end of finals or something? And a party isn't a party if you're not coming, Cullen." I raised an eyebrow at him, not completely understanding what he just said.

"Newton, you're talking in chicken language. What the hell are you trying to say?"

"The cheerleaders," he gasped, "They asked me to ask you to come to the party. Free booze and all those other shit."

I considered it for a moment, looking over at my Bella. She was biting her lip, and I could see the sacrifice in her beautiful brown eyes. "I think you should ask my girlfriend first." I admitted, giving my baby the smile that I knew she loved. She grinned back warmly and I brought my hand up to tuck back a stray strand of her mahogany curls.

"Oh, um, hi Isabella." Mike greeted awkwardly. I growled at him and he flinched. Bella did _not _like being called Isabella. He should have already known that, for crying out loud. He's been working with her for almost two months now.

I have to admit, scaring Mike is fun.

Bella smacked my chest briefly, the sensation feeling ticklish because it didn't even hurt. "Be nice," she whispered, before turning to unleash her beauty on Mike.

I doubt he'll ever get over the shock of Bella actually talking to him. "It's Bella, Mike." she corrected him.

"Uh, hi Bella." he gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing. I grimaced at him in disgust before wrapping my arms around Bella's waist and pulling her closer to me. It seemed almost possessive, but what else can I do? I'm just another jealous boyfriend, I guess . . .

Great. Now I'm being branded as a wussy.

"Hey. About that party . . . I don't think I'd be going. Sorry, Mike." Bella bit her lip harshly and fought to keep from looking into Newton's confused but dazed eyes.

"It's uh, fine. Totally. " Then he turned to me. "So you still up for it?"

I shook my head. "I'd rather not. I've got work."

He laughed, forcing me to grit my teeth in anger. Bella's hands rubbed up and down my right arm, trying to keep me from looking like a bristled mountain lion. I don't get what stupid prejudice people have against mountain lions, I mean, it's not like they're threatening to take over the world, aren't they? They're like normal lions; they kill to survive.

Jeez, people judge lions too much.

"Since when did the Great Edward Cullen have _work? _Ha! I'd expected you to get some job from the hardware store, or maybe even as a freaking waiter. Dude, what the heck has happened to you? Where's the bastard I've known you to be?_" _Newton taunted.

_Bastard. _

That's it.

My clenched fist came into contact with his jaw, and I heard a very satisfying _crack! _erupt from my punch. Newton stumbled to the ground, clutching his jaw in pain. Then I knelt in front of him and grabbed the collar of his blood-stained polo-shirt. "You wanna know where's the bastard you've known me to be? Well, here he is."

And then I thrust my palm up his nose, causing a deafening crunch and yell from Newton.

I stood up, cracked my knuckles, and got ready for the final punch. Just as I raised my fist to give the finishing blow, I felt a pair of hands go round my left wrist.

"That's enough, Edward." Bella's warm voice whispered.

I turned to look at her, my nose still flaring from the madness, and then all of the fury melted the minute I caught her brown eyes. She was warning me with her eyes, worry and concern lit up her face, giving light to the little crease between her eyebrows as she frowned. She carefully pulled me away from Newton and rubbed my arm soothingly.

"Okay." I managed and took one more look at Newton. "If you dare say anything to the teachers, you'll get more than-"

"No, I'm sure Mike won't utter a sound, am I right?" Bella interrupted me, turning to face Newton as well. He was holding up his hand to block the blood flow, but blood still gushed through his hand. I flinched, suddenly remembering how it felt to have _my _nose broken.

Newton nodded fearfully, staring in disbelief as I appeared calm. Usually, whenever I was pissed, I'd keep on punching the living daylights out of my victim.

"Iwina was wite." Newton mumbled pathetically, unable to speak properly.

"On what?" I questioned him harshly, and Bella had to hold me back from further punching him. He gave a grateful look to Bella and continued to stare at me with fear.

"_What, _Mike?" I growled.

"You hath changed." he groaned, closing his eyes, as he stood up. He staggered a little, and the guilt that washed through me briefly caught me off guard. I sighed and reached into my pocket for a handkerchief. I felt something soft, almost cottony, and took it out.

It was the napkin that the Lodge used. Somehow or rather it ended up in my pocket. Not one to question this, I gave it to Newton. "Here. Use it to absorb the . . . blood. Go to the nurse or something and get that nose fixed."

I looked down at my Bella. She was giving me a brilliant smile, and it looked . . . proud? I smiled back at her, using her favorite crooked smile.

As Bella and I trudged to the gym, a throng of people stared at my shirt. There were probably bloodstains, but I didn't give a shit. My main goal was to get my ass to the gym, go through the briefing quickly, and then go back to work. Bella was accompanying me to the Lodge today, after I promised her a greasy dinner filled with hamburgers and fries.

"Edward?" Bella questioned from beside me, the hand that wasn't holding mine soothing her dark brown hoodie.

"Yeah?"

"That thing with Mike just now - I was wondering, back then, did you do it often?" she questioned, her chocolate embers staring off into space. I grinned at her and squeezed her hand.

"Yeah. Don't know why I'm not doing it now."

"Hmm . . ." she hummed, still staring off into space.

"What?"

"Nothing. I just can't help but think that my boyfriend used to be a kickass fighter." she laughed and her eyes were crinkled up in her fits of giggles. I laughed along with her and kissed her cheek, unable to keep myself from doing so.

"What do you mean 'used to be?' I still am! Anyway, don't you like it? I can defend you from all monsters that come to attack you in your sleep." I teased her, remembering the night I'd sung her to sleep and heard her sleep-talks.

"What?" she gave me a blank stare, stopping in the middle of our walk. Since our hands were intertwined, I was forced to stop as well.

"My baby's becoming older already," I laughed at her horrified expression as I teased her about her memory loss.

"No!" she gasped, and hung her head. Her mahogany curls created a dark curtain around her seraphic face. I couldn't see what she was thinking now, and it freaked me out a little.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked, immediately chagrined.

"It depends!" she still gasped, trying to pull away from me. I bent down so that I was face to face with her, then I mumbled, "On?"

"What you heard!" she finished, her mesmerizing eyes shying away from mine as I tried to keep eye contact with her.

"Don't be embarrassed, I dream weird dreams too. I even dreamed that I was riding a pony once. And before that, I was dreaming I was Superman, looking for my Lois Lane. And the time before that, I dreamed that I was a rockstar, rocking it out at the Staples Center." I confessed.

"Really?" she finally met my eyes, fighting laughter.

"Yeah. I also dream of you. Every," I kissed her forehead, "Single," I moved down to the corner of her mouth, "Time." Then I held her face as I leaned in to kiss her lips.

When I pulled away, Bella was blushing. "Oh . . ." was all she said. I grinned at her and pulled her forward. "Come on, little chicken. Let's head over to the gym."

We began walking once again, finishing the three minutes walk from the classroom to the gym. As we reached our destination, though, the whole Junior class filled the benches, and we had nowhere to sit. I scanned the area for my siblings, trying to catch Em's massive build or Rosalie's familiar blonde hair.

It wasn't hard to find them.

"EDWARD! EDWARD!" Alice was screaming, sitting on top of Em's broad shoulders and waving frantically at me. I fought back a cringe as Bella muttered, "_Alice." _

Then we looked at each other and laughed. Making our way to where my siblings were seated at the back of the gym, Principal Greene gave me a dirty look when he saw my shirt. Other than that, he didn't mutter a single word, choosing instead to shout into the mike.

"People! Settle down!" he was yelling at the jocks and cheerleaders, who were busy making out with each other. I raised an eyebrow at them as I took my seat beside Jasper. Bella stood awkwardly, because there was no more space.

"Oh, Bella, just sit on Edward's lap." Rose gestured to my open lap. Bella blushed, but made no move. "Um, I'd rather stand, thanks."

I felt genuine hurt as I stared at her. "Aww. Are my thighs that ugly?" I pretended to sniff in hurt. Bella's eyes glazed over, an action I've come to know as her being dazzled, and I grinned triumphantly when Rosalie stood up to sit on her fiance's lap. "See? It's this simple." she chastised her.

Alice scurried over to sit in Rosalie's place, which was beside me, refusing to look at Jasper's extended arms.

"Bella, if you don't sit down in three seconds, Principal Greene is gonna send you to detention. Three, two, on-" Alice chanted, only to be interrupted.

"Okay, okay!" my baby cried out frantically and plopped down on my lap. I shifted her a little so that she was more or less leaning against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her closer to me, enjoying the jolting electricity that passed through us.

Yeah, Bella's been my girlfriend for more than a month, but that doesn't mean that the connection we had was gone.

In my very humble opinion, I think it grew stronger.

Dang it, stop it with those wolf-whistles already!

"Are you comfortable, baby?" I asked Bella.

"Yeah, sure." she blushed and tucked her head into the crook of my neck. Her hair tickled my chin.

Eventually, the Principal got us to quieten down, and he spoke of the things we were going to bring to the excursion. He told us we could only have one suitcase for our luggage, much to Alice's disappointment. He also advised us to bring along a camera to take some pictures during our tour around Europe. When Tanya asked him how much money we needed to bring for the trip, he told us not to, because we were going to be funded for the whole trip.

"Does that mean we can spend as much as we want with the money they give us?" she asked again.

"Absolutely not, Ms. Denali. You will be given a budget, and it shall not be added until the last day of the tour, where you'll be allowed to go shopping." The Principal chided her.

A murmuring erupted, and I heard Alice mumbling excitedly about Prada shoes. Bella's warm breath blew across my face and I looked down at her. Her eyes were closed, her breathing even, and she was whispering ever so quietly, "Edward . . . chocolate . . . ice-cream . . ."

I chuckled and tucked her in even tighter against my lap. I didn't want to disrupt Bella's peaceful nap. I didn't blame her for falling asleep; Principal Greene _was _boring.

"Lastly, all of you will be divided in groups. Each group shall have a leader, who was already chosen by me and the other teachers earlier this morning. Since there are only eighty-five of you, there will be five groups consisting of seventeen students. I shall now read out the names of the leaders."

He rattled off the names of Eric Yorkie (it was obvious he was going to be chosen; he's a freaking _nerd_), Tyler Crowely (a jock who thought he was the world), Angela Weber (she's a sweet girl, very understanding) and surprisingly, Emmett's name came out. There was a huge roar of laughter before the cheering began, and I wondered why on Earth he got picked.

Emmett was pretty popular, though not as popular as I used to be, and he was well loved by his peers. I guess it wasn't really that shocking once you came to terms with big, burly Emmett leading a group of hyper-active students through unfamiliar streets.

"And, as for the last student, it came as a pleasant surprise to see him alter into a completely different, but responsible, young adult within a short amount of time. We all agreed that he was in the right position for this, and we feel that he can do so much more. Therefore I am challenging this boy to prove to me he isn't just a normal boy."

Emmett was still quivering from all the excitement of being chosen to be a leader, and he was leaning in, expecting someone from the Chess club or maybe a smart jock.

So when the Principal turned to me and announced that I was chosen as well, my mouth fell open and I completely forgot Bella was in my arms. Accidentally, I let her slip, and she slid down my body and landed on the floor with a thud. She gasped, and her eyes flew open. "OW!" she yelped and scrambled onto my lap once again.

I couldn't even bring myself to wrap my arms around her in an effort to secure her to my lap.

It was awfully quiet. No one was cheering or laughing. Everyone was so quiet and still, Bella noticed the surprise hanging in the air. Her half-closed eyes immediately became alert, and she looked around the room, registering everyone's expressions.

Then she turned to me and took one look at my horrified/shocked/pleased/absolutely terrified face.

"What? What happened?" she asked me urgently but I couldn't bring myself to look at her.

"Sir . . . there must be a problem. I _can't _lead." I stated flatly at the Principal, who raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "Mr. Cullen, you were the only student the teachers voted on based by unanimous decision. I will not take back my word."

"But . . . sir, I _really _can't lead." I insisted.

"Whatever the case, we have settled our decisions. You shall be the leader of group five." he announced, eyeing the other student's meaningfully.

For another heartbeat, everyone was still quiet. Then, Emmett cried out, "Yeah, Edward!" Before I had time to blink, Rosalie was attacking me with her killer hugs, Alice was flying straight after, and poor Bella was mushed in between me and my siblings. The others applauded loudly, some whistling, others screaming "Go, Edward!"

I never knew I was well liked by my peers.

No.

I always thought I was hated on.

But how the hell will I lead them when I can't even lead myself? I'll just lead them into a massacre, and I do mean that literally. What the heck is wrong with the teachers that made them crazy enough to vote me? What do they see in me?

All round me, people were congratulating me and rubbing my back. Everyone had gathered round me, excitedly talking about how great I was going to be. Bella's arms wound around my neck, and while I still haven't gotten past the shock to talk much, I looked down at my baby and gave her timid grin.

She smiled the same smile she'd given me earlier, when she'd stopped myself from further hurting Newton.

Then I looked up and caught Principal Greene's eyes. He nodded encouragingly and spoke into the mike for everyone to settle down once again.

"Yes, yes. Congratulations to Mr. Cullen. For the leaders, I would like you to find a map of the specific places that we shall be touring around in Europe: The United Kingdom, Germany, and Italy. Afterwards, print out seventeen copies. Once you are done with that, meet me to get the list of your team members. Understood?"

We all nodded, and I caught several people eyeing me hopefully. God. The way they looked at me . . . it's as if they're expecting me to do a triple backflip or something.

We got dismissed and Emmett turned to me. "We're doing the Cullen family some glory, little brother!" he raised his fist, and I reluctantly bumped it.

"Yeah . . . glory . . ." I chuckled nervously.

Bella sat up straight, shifting slightly on my lap. "What's wrong?" she whispered.

"Nothing."

She eyed me doubtfully, so I mouthed 'later.' Bella nodded and I kissed her forehead, trying not to think of the heavy burden that started to slouch my shoulders. I bade goodbye to my siblings as I got up, wanting to get as far away as possible, because I really couldn't take it anymore. Too much stress makes Jack a dull boy, or was it?

I tossed Jasper my keys as I flitted out the gym, towing Bella along.

"Well, that went well." she giggled as I started the engine of her truck. I'd argued that I wanted to drive, so she let me. It boomed loudly, and I laughed at Bella's startled expression. "You should get a new car, sweetheart, if you're too scared of this thing." I patted the dashboard of her truck, and she scowled.

"Nu-uh. I'm never changing Brandon."

At this, I let go of my worries and laughed. Who named their truck 'Brandon?' "That's right, laugh at me. You'll be sorry when Brandon crushes your precious Volvie." she teased me, her tongue sticking out as she said my car's nickname.

"Brandon," I laughed again and patted the dashboard once more. "Hey, Brandon, mind doing me a favor and tell your owner here that you could use a new stereo system. Maybe replace that rusty side door of yours?"

The truck groaned loudly as I hit past sixty, as if it was agreeing with me, and Bella laughed. "I'm still not giving Brandon up." she said much later, when her fit of giggles had left.

I shook my my head and smiled fondly as I parked Brandon in the employees parking lot. Bella will be Bella; always so stubborn.

After giving Bella a short intro to the other employees, I made my way over to the piano and began searching through my tattered file for a few compositions. I'd written some, though I wasn't willing to play them (they still suck), and I decided to try Momma's other compositions. They were hard-driven, which meant energetic, but it couldn't hurt, right?

"I don't get how you can understand the notes." Bella mused, sitting beside me on the bench.

"That's only for you," I smiled and tapped her nose.

She glowered and moved back to analyzing the sheets of music. She traced the notes and stared at them in fascination. She looked so absorbed, so happy, I couldn't help myself from smiling.

Who knew I'd find my girlfriend trying to understand music _cute? _

It's weird. Really weird.

But it was nice, for a change. I'd been surrounded by mindless bimbos for too long, most of them want nothing but sex, and Bella brought along with her some fresh air. I smiled wider, thinking of the night I'd dreamed of chocolate brown eyes and strawberries, and that I was dreaming of them way before I officially met Bella.

I don't know what I did to deserve her, but I'm certainly glad I did whatever it was.

"What's that, Edward?" Peter suddenly asked from behind me. He had this uncanny habit to suddenly appear out of nowhere, and Bella had yet to get used to it. She jumped a little before laughing at herself. I laughed along with her.

"Just some other composition." I answered finally.

"It's different from what you used to play . . . I think I like this a tad better. It has charm, and it-it makes me want to dance or something." he confessed, and I was forced to look up at my boss. I gave him an approved grin, because in my head, I was laughing at the mental image of him dancing ridiculously.

"Thanks, Peter. That means a lot."

He shrugged, looked uncertain, and then said, "Edward, there's someone from Juilliard who wants to talk to you."

"_What?" _I gasped at the same time Bella exclaimed, "Oh my god!"

I've heard of Juilliard. It's the school of performing arts or something. And people said that it was a really good school, though the fees were really over the top. Other than that . . . when I was younger, Momma had gone on and on about it, always saying it was the perfect school for me, should I ever take further interest in my piano.

Hot damn.

Peter nodded, and Charlotte came up from behind him, eyeing her husband curiously. "Pete's right. There's a representative from Juilliard who wishes to talk to you later on tonight, when he arrives here with a few other representatives to have dinner or something like that. The man, I think his name was Felix, he wanted to see how you played the piano." Charlotte added, giving me a small smile.

"But . . . why?" I wondered.

"Because news of your piano playing skills has taken the world by storm. Someone even posted a video of you playing _Goodnight, Goodbye _on Youtube. It's gotten over two hundred million views since then. And it was taken only two weeks ago." Peter told me, leaning in animatedly.

What kind of shit is this, man? They've got to be pulling my leg or something. It's impossible.

_But maybe it's true, _my inner voice argued, _maybe this is the chance to show people that you _are _Momma's little kid. _

That's right. I forgot Momma was a piano prodigy.

"In short, you're creating a sensation, Edward. No one's seen anything like this since Elizabeth Masen, who died about eleven years ago." Charlotte smiled.

Bella and I shared a knowing look, and underneath her smile of pride and happiness, there was concern. "You know Elizabeth Masen?" I asked casually, my biological mother's name rolling off my tongue.

I felt a sudden pang of longing, which I deftly shoved aside. From the corner of my eye, Bella stiffened. She wrapped her delicate hands on my arm and squeezed it. I grabbed one of her hands and rubbed soothing circles on it, trying to assure her that I wasn't worried or anything.

But who am I fooling? Of _course _I was worried. It's my freaking _mother, _we're talking about!

"Not know, _knew. _We used to go to the same high school together, even though when I entered, she was already a senior. But nonetheless, she was a really sweet girl, and she made everything look so easy and perfect. She's one of the best people the world can every create." Charlotte continued talking, and I felt myself grinning despite the hidden hurt.

"It's too bad the world isn't kind to good people," Peter muttered slightly, "I heard she died of cancer, leaving her husband and little boy behind. If I'm not wrong, the husband was so distraught, his whole attitude changed, and then Lizzy's little boy ran away. No one's heard from him since. Why, if that little boy's still alive, he'd be your age, Edward!"

I felt the back of my neck prickle, but I smiled and nodded mechanically.

"Are you okay, Edward? You look kinda sick . . ." Charlotte stared at me, genuine worry lining her forehead. I shook my head and told them I was fine.

After a little more chit-chat, Peter headed back into the kitchen to check on his entrees while Charlotte did some last minute re-arranging of the table settings.

"What are you going to do, Edward?" Bella asked worriedly.

I looked down at her encouraging face. I groaned and closed my eyes, before leaning my head into hers and breathing in her strawberry scent. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me, drawing comfort.

Bella rubbed her hands up and down my back, and if it wasn't distracting enough, she inhaled into my neck. I clenched my fists to keep myself from attacking her.

Seriously, what the heck am I going to do?

BPOV

From behind my normal place behind the small platform that Edward played the piano on, I watched as he talked to a big, hulking guy that reminded me of Emmett. The man, who I remembered was Felix, was wearing a formal gray suit, and the other people that surrounded them were as equally well-dressed as he was.

I couldn't help but smile a bit at Edward. He stood out from the group, wearing his leather jacket and everything, but he still managed to look like the most hottest guy there.

Then I grinned wider when I remembered how _masculine _he looked when he was fighting Mike. Sure, part of me was screaming to get him to stop, but I couldn't help but admire Edward's lean muscles, like his abs.

Oh, his abs . . .

Wait, I'm getting off topic.

Edward's brow was furrowed, but he was smiling a bit, the smile showing off his perfect teeth. I saw one of the ladies present in the group throw him a suggestive look which he didn't catch. I began to scowl, and my eyes narrowed angrily when the lady moved closer to him.

Sheesh! What's wrong with Edward _always _attracting blonde bimbos? This girl looked way too old for him, anyway. The way she held herself, how she thrust her flat chest as if she had any, made me gag through my supposedly yummy dinner of burger and fries.

Without Edward beside me, they tasted bland.

Suddenly, he turned to me, his eyes lighting up. He pointed out at me, and I took a double take to make sure he wasn't pointing at someone behind me. I looked back again, this time, Edward was chuckling, his eyes crinkling up in amusement. I was tempted to stick my tongue out, but that would seem too childish.

_Later, Bella, you can stop putting up a professional front when the Suits are gone, _I told myself.

My boyfriend still pointed at me, this time his expression slightly urgent. I realized he'd been calling me. I flushed, before hastily standing up and straightening my hoodie. Damn it, I should have worn something more sophisticated.

I walked over to where he was, nervously I might add, and hesitated when the big guy, Felix, asked me to take a seat. I looked at Edward for support, but he just gave me a large grin.

I sat beside him, unsure of what to do, and he grabbed my hand. He was enthusiastic for some reason, but I didn't understand why.

"You are Ms. Swan, I presume?" Felix asked me, his eyes widening as he took me in. I knew that look; it's the look every guy would give me whenever they saw me for the first time.

Edward's chest vibrated slightly, indicating that he was ready to growl at the big guy. I glanced over at him and leaned into his side, trying to get away from Felix's awed gaze.

So I nodded.

"Well, Ms. Swan, we at, er, Juilliard, we saw the video in which you and your, uh, boyfriend participated in. And we are interested in getting you a free scholarship at one of the world's most prominent performing arts school. Mr. Cullen here has stated that he will go only if you yourself will take our offer, and seeing as you have an _amazing _voice, we simply couldn't help ourselves."

I didn't like the way Felix expressed his words. There was a possessive light in his eyes, and it gave me the impression that he really wanted to get me and Edward to be their pawns, so that they could brag or show us off to the world.

"You're saying that you're giving us a scholarship just because you watched us perform via _Youtube?" _I breathed, trying to get that little fact into my head.

"Yes." Felix nodded.

I looked at Edward again, and I could see him fighting the happiness in his eyes. I knew he wanted this, he'd told me once a scholarship was needed if he ever wanted to go to a uni, and this was Juil-freaking-liard. Who wouldn't want to go there?

Except, oh yeah, there's a high chance that most of the people there are as possessive as Felix is.

"I don't know . . . I'm not sure . . ." I trailed off, thinking of what Charlie might say. And Renee. This was a matter that concerned my parents, too.

"Ms. Swan, do you grasp that-" Felix began, but Edward (bless him!) cut him off.

"Give us time, sir. I'll contact you if we've made our decision." The way Edward said _we _made me want to kiss him, because it made it clear that he didn't want to go anywhere that I wasn't.

Felix looked resigned, and he nodded slowly.

The rest of the night was history. Felix and the other representatives from Juilliard headed off, and dinner service came into a slow close. Then, after Edward had re-enacted what the Juilliard folks had offered us to Peter and Charlotte, I was finally left alone with him.

We sat in my porch, the both of us listening to Charlie's snores, as we talked about inconsequential things. I leaned my head against his broad shoulder, and sighed deeply.

"What's wrong, love?" Edward asked me sweetly, taking my hand and rubbing small circles on it. Warmth radiated throughout his body, and I huddled closer, realizing that I was much too cold to be kept apart from his god-like body.

"Nothing . . ."

Edward sighed this time, and he let it go.

"God," he groaned and I imagined him to be closing his eyes and leaning his head against mine. Of course, he did the second part, but I couldn't tell if he was closing his eyes or not.

"What?"

He shook his head, and his freshly shaven jaw rubbed against my hair. I grinned and kissed his shoulder. He groaned again. "Nothing . . . it's just, lots of weird stuff happened today. You'd think seeing flying pigs would be normal by this point."

I laughed at his flying pigs joke.

"Seriously! I haven't even managed to get you on a date yet. Em would probably call me a wussy if he ever found that out." he chastised himself.

"I doubt that. Emmett's mind might be too focused on cotton candy." I giggled, yes, freaking _giggled, _at the thought.

Edward laughed, and it was nice to hear it. At least he could be whatever he was right here, at least he could loosen up once in awhile. Only god knows how long it's been since I've _really _heard him laugh.

I smiled when I felt his lips against my hair.

"Do you think I'd be a good leader?" he asked me suddenly, and I picked up my head from his shoulder to look him in the eye. His emeralds were shimmering in the moonlight, and I was glad to see the golden flecks in them. They bore into me, making feel like he could see through my soul, and I looked back evenly into his deep eyes.

"Yes." I answered after a moment of silence. He opened his mouth to protest, but I interrupted him. "You're going to be a great leader, Edward. You yourself know it, too."

"Er, I think you're under the wrong impression, Bella." he gave me a weirded out look and I chuckled, touching his scrunched up eyebrows.

"You look cute, you know, when you're giving the 'what-the-hell?' face. Your eyebrows get all scrunched up, and you look like a little kid whose lollipop got stolen from him." I smiled as his face softened. He reached up to hold my hand to his face.

"And _you," _he quickly leaned in to kiss my nose, "look like the most beautiful person everywhere, everytime. Even when you're frustrated, or confused, or simply sleepy, you look like an angel. Sometimes, I wonder why the heck you're with a troll like me."

Oh, no.

He did _not _call himself a freaking troll.

"You're not a troll! You're far from it! You do know that there's a billion girls out there who would scream out your name and then faint should you ever walk into a room filled with them?" I smacked his forearm teasingly.

"Wow. That must be a big room, then, to be able to fit one billion - hey!" he snickered when I smacked his thigh. He picked my hand up, broodingly examined it, and then muttered, "Have you ever heard of foreplay, Ms. Swan?" in the most sexiest voice he could muster. I felt my breathing hitch, my heart thumped like a jackhammer, and I resisted the urge to tackle him with kisses he would think of as 'unholy.'

Rosalie and Alice must really be rubbing off me.

But all thoughts flew out the window the minute he leaned in and kissed me on my lips.

He was taking it slow, building up the pressure until I couldn't take it anymore. I lunged myself at him, welded my figure into his, and parted my lips into a sigh. He started kissing me roughly then, making me flush in pleasure when the tip of his tongue traced my bottom lip.

When he gave me the opportunity to breathe, his lips moved down to my neck, where I could distinctively feel a lovebite in the making.

Shit.

I think I've just died and gone to heaven.

I moaned out, and felt him groan once again. He lifted his head to mine and I kissed him fiercely when he finally brought back his lips to mine. We've never kissed this deeply before, and it sort of pleased me that we were exploring boundaries, but still left some unbroken.

Somehow or rather, I wasn't that eager to do 'it' with Edward till we were married.

Oh, god. Married!

Laughing, I broke away from Edward's lips, gasping in oxygen as I did so. We took awhile before we managed to get our breaths to return to normal, and Edward was muttering, "Damn it, Bella. You'll be the death of me, I swear you will be."

But his words were meaningless as he clung to my waist freely. His head rested against my shoulder, and I realized that we were lying down, Edward on top of me, and that he was pinning me to the ground, or rather, my freaking _porch, _where Charlie had the freedom to see whatever we were doing.

Edward's lips were dangerously close to where the lovebite he'd given me was, and it was just too tempting.

_Way _too tempting.

I gently pushed Edward away from me, shaking my head as I laughed at his surprised expression. "I just gave you a kiss like _that, _and you're pushing me away? Ms. Swan, you need to be taught a lesson." he scolded me before claiming my lips again.

He pressed his body against mine, making me feel the exact length of his . . . well, let's just say that the cheerleader in me squealed in pleasure.

_Get it on, already! _she whined in frustration.

_Unlike you, oh holy de-virginized bitch, I want to wait till marriage. Now shut up and let me enjoy my make-out session with my boyfriend, _I screamed at her, and felt Edward's hands twining themselves into my hair, keeping me locked onto his lips.

He was kissing me frantically now, and it was making me squirm. My body was flushed, and since I'm such a girl, I let my hands roam over his chest while he and I kissed. His lips moved down to my neck once more.

I let myself explore every plane of his stomach as I slid my hands under his t-shirt. I even traced his rock-hard six-pack. "_Bella," _he groaned into my neck, and I shuddered in delight.

Oh my freaking god.

I just made Edward-freaking-Cullen groan out my name. _My _name.

He moved up to attack my lips, and my hands moved up to his hair, feeling how soft it was and I twined my fingers into the bronze mess that I loved. I pulled on them, testing the waters, when Edward suddenly growled and pulled away as I smashed my body into his a little too enthusiastically.

(Insert the long, not-so-awkward silence whereby me and my possibly turned on boyfriend try and catch our breaths after one heavy make-out session.)

"You're too distracting, Bella. You're making me feel like I'm going to steal your virtue or something." he growled menacingly.

I giggled, out of breath. But I kept silent, because I knew that _he _knew I'd already lost my virtue a long time ago. And now I regretted it, because, if I'd never given _that _part of myself to that moronic drunk idiot at that freaking party, I could make Edward my first, my last, and my only.

I'm such a bitch.

Edward must have sensed my sudden change in mood, for he sat up and pulled me along with him, before he picked me up simply and placed me on his lap.

Just like this afternoon, I hid my face in the crook of his neck, and tried to drown myself in his presence. Edward rubbed my back soothingly, unlike how he'd rubbed it earlier, this was more worried than it was seductive.

"Bella? Baby? What's wrong? Did I do-" he asked, but I cut him off by shaking my head.

"No, no. It's just . . . doesn't it bother you that I'm not . . . not a . . ." I couldn't even finish the goddamned sentence.

But he caught on quickly. "Oh." was all he said, and then it was quiet. I raised my head to look at his expression, fearful that he'd be disgusted, or mad, or hateful. When I saw the blank look on his face as we gained eye contact, I felt his arms tighten around me.

His eyes were thoughtful, thinking.

Suddenly, Edward unleashed my favorite crooked smile.

Huh?

What just happened?

"Bella, love," he smiled, "You do know that I lost mine at fourteen, right? And it was to an eighteen year old who happened to be drunk enough not to notice my inexperience. But, unlike you, I've already screwed girls far beyond the count of three hundred, so shouldn't _I _be asking that question? No matter what happens, what you did in the past doesn't concern me, angel. What you are now, that's what matters to me the most."

I knew it.

I should have known he'd find a way to blame himself.

"Edward, you know, just now, when we were - when we were kissing, and then I laughed, I was thinking that . . . you know, someday, the two of us would get married." I blushed, admitting that secret desire of mine, and looked anywhere but his eyes.

I felt him shake with laughter underneath me.

"_Marriage? _Why would you laugh at such a serious topic?" he chuckled, unable to suppress his amusement.

"I'm glad I could entertain you, Mr. Cullen." I mumbled bitterly. He cut it off the minute he heard my voice and took hold of my chin, guiding me up to look at him. But even though I was facing him, I did my damnedest to keep from staring into his eyes.

"Hey," he called quietly, sadly, "You know I think of that, too. I think of you that way as well. Can you imagine yourself, Bella, as Mrs. Isabella Marie Masen? Because I certainly can, and even though I'm still young and all those other shit, I can see how you'd look wearing a flowing white dress with an exquisite bouquet made of many different flowers, but still managing to smell like heaven."

I gave up resisting and stared into his emeralds, melting under his sincere and earnest gaze.

"I can see you walking down that aisle towards me, with your father beside you. I see you pregnant with our first baby, who will have your eyes and rosy cheeks and your personality. I can see how she'll call you 'Momma' and how she'll call me 'Daddy.' I see how you'll cry with happiness as you find out you're pregnant with our other baby, this time a boy, and he'd be my little trooper. I'll treat him like how my own father never did, and then the both of us will grow older together, always watching over our children, giving love away because we know we have to, especially when our daughter finds someone whom she'll love endlessly.

"And then my little trooper will find a girl not long after his big sister, and he'll give his heart to this girl like how I'm giving it to you right now. I can see you, old but still utterly beautiful, sitting on a rocking chair in a porch somewhere else, with our grandchildren playing around us. I can see how the both of us will be lying side by side as one of us dies, promising each other we won't ever let go, and that we love each other, and that you or I will be waiting for the other one in heaven."

Edward ended his long speech, and I was so captivated by his tale that I didn't realize I was crying. He was right. I _did _imagine myself as his wife, with our babies in my arms. I could imagine him playing with his son, or how he'd glare at this one boy who'd go after his baby girl, and how he'd look like, lying on that hospital bed, telling me he'll always love me.

God, my boyfriend's a master at romantic speeches.

He wiped away my tears tenderly, and the gesture was so sweet, I couldn't help but attack him with a bone-crushing hug. "I love you, Edward." I said firmly.

Edward smiled against my hair and he pulled away to kiss my forehead. "As I love you."

* * *

><p>Carlisle Cullen stared at the file of papers that sat tauntingly at his desk. It has been there for nearly a day now, and he was beginning to wonder if his decision to disown his first son was wrong.<p>

He'd devoted much of his time to this son of his, since he and his wife Esme could not bear any children, but it has been a long time since he properly talked to the boy.

He remembered the first time he'd met him, and how he had been so taken by the little boy, completely broken and unable to speak, due to his almost-slit throat and fatal injuries beyond anything humane. Carlisle Cullen remembered how his wife agonized over the little boy, so afraid for him, and the lengths she had to go through just to adopt this poor boy, who's scrawny body was so deprived of health and nutrition.

The doctor smiled as he recalled Esme's happiness as she watched Edward grow fuller and much more fitter in her care.

But now that was gone.

All of the emotions his little boy used to have were now gone. And yet his other children seem to love Edward like he did, except the concrete love shared between his children and Edward seemed to deepen everytime he had the chance to see them.

Carlisle Cullen was teasing fate.

Should he give his little boy another chance? Should he not?

He couldn't think straight, and he jolted in surprise as his phone rang.

"Doctor Carlisle Cullen speaking," the doctor said calmly into the phone, assuming the tone of authority he always had to put on in front of people. He could barely remember the last time someone gave him time for himself and his family, and it hurt him to see that his wife was beginning to shy away from him as a result.

"Good evening, doctor. I was just calling to inquire whether or not your son has hired a lawyer in his defense?" the voice on the other line crackled.

"Good evening to you too, Mr. Jenks. No, Edward has yet to find a lawyer, and I doubt he will ever find one," the doctor replied huskily, suddenly recalling the words of his son. It hit him like a tidal wave, and he wondered why this was so.

"Alright, I see. Do remind him that he needs to be at the subordinate courts in Port Angeles on July fourteenth, by one thirty in the afternoon." the lawyer said firmly through the phone.

"I will, Mr. Jenks. Thank you."

"And doctor, I will be needing the papers I've given you yesterday, for there shall be no trial if the judge does not see the papers signed by both parties." Carlisle's eyes glanced at the file of papers lying in his desk, and he repelled a shudder.

"Yes, I shall get Edward to sign it."

"I'll be looking forward to it then, doctor. Have a nice night." The line went dead, and the doctor was forced to shut his phone. Once again, his hand hovered above the file, and he wondered if his decision was right.

Because the cursed file held the official records that would pertain to his little boy agreeing to be disowned by him.

And Carlisle Cullen was not sure if that was what he wanted anymore.


	18. Don't Wanna Go Home

_**Author's Note: W-O-W. That's all I can say/scream. So it's official, CYKAS has been pushed over the hundred reviews mark, all thanks to you guys! I seriously wish that I can give yellow Porsches to you guys, but sigh, I'm not exactly a billionaire. So MEGA ULTRA SIZED thank yous to Emmettroxmysoxoff (That's a really, really interesting point you had there, and as much as I would like to make Carlisle actually do that, I can't. He has too much pride in himself. Ugh. I feel nasty for making him disown poor Eddie boy. =( And about the whole marriage thing . . . I thought that it would go well with the flow of the story, how serious Edward and Bella are getting, but don't worry, I'm not mad or anything. =D) , Cuttlefish (LOVE your username!), Funky Actress (Haha, thanks for appreciating that little speech Edward made. It took me days to frame it up. ;P And, yeah, you got that right! Edward needed a chance for a uni, and no matter how completely outrageous it seemed, I decided to do it. Weird, huh?), maybebaby23, luhexayy, Erika (Thanks for that lovely review. It means A LOT to me. =D), fanficftw23 (Yeah, you got that right! How I wish Edward was mine. Oh . . . all the things I could do with him! xD), AliceRosalieBellaCullen23, and how can I ever forget you, Emoprincess98? (AWW, I LOVE THEE TOO! Hahaha, your review seriously made me smile and laugh like crazy! I practically fell over my chair laughing! You made my day, gurl, seriously! I've been having a day from hell, what with my goddamned boyfriend fighting with my best friend over some stupid matter, and all those other shit that comes along with school. Ugh. Sometimes, being a teenager sucks. Sorry, I'm ranting, but I really can't help it! And I loooooooove Sexy and I Know It! I just imagined Edward dancing to it, and god! Haha, I'm laughing as I write this now! And I've got another thing to say to you before I finish hogging up the A/N space: **_

_**2, 4, 6, 8**_

_**WHO DO I APPRECIATE? **_

_**EMOPRINCESS98, EMOPRINCESS98!**_

_**RAW, RAW, RAW! xD**_

_**Sorry for using that awesome cheer of yours. I really couldn't help myself. =D) **__**And if you're already itching to watch Breaking Dawn, hey, the review button is always open!**_

_**So finally, huddle up on that seat, turn up the AC (if it ain't too cold) and ENJOY! **_

_**~Serene.**_

_**PS, I've started a blog. I'm thinking that maybe you guys will be bored by it, but I thought that you might like it. Hey, give it a try. =) The link is in my profile, and it's all about me. It's kinda like a journal.**_

_**Disclaimer: I may own that beautiful charm bracelet which my boyfriend so lovingly bought for me, but Edward and Twilight will never belong to me. I'm such a goner. **_

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

"You should really go, Edward. It's three in the morning, Alice and the others might wonder where you are." Bella mumbled from under my arm. We hadn't really spoken much after the little speech I made, and I'd be damned if I ruined the peaceful silence.

"D'you want me to go?" I asked her, somewhat hurt that she wanted me to go.

"No. I want you to stay. But I've hogged you way too much. You and I both need sleep, and you still have to print out seventeen maps of Germany, Italy and the United Kingdom."

"Alright, fine. You win." I teased and turned to kiss her nose. She blushed and laughed.

"What can I say? I always do," she returned my tease, reaching up to run her fingers through my hair. "Do you think I'll ever get tired of touching your hair? God, I sound like a stalker."

"Hey! I'm offended!"

"What? Why? Who do you stalk?" Then her eyes narrowed as she considered something outrageous. I bit back my laughter and looked at her smoothly.

"Oh, she's just a beautiful, brown eyed girl who just happens to my very beloved girlfriend." I smiled at her, and Bella's anxious expression turned blank, before she erupted into a fit of giggles.

"Ass. You made me think that you were stalking someone else!"

"Why? D'you think I'd stalk Tanya Denali. Ew. Christ, Bella, I have better taste than _that." _I pretended to shudder at the thought, and Bella had trouble controlling her laughter; Charlie was still sleeping the sleep of the dead on the floor above us.

"Or maybe Lauren Mallory!" she managed to choke out.

This time, I shuddered for real. Tanya was one thing, but Lauren was just . . . unrelenting. She already knew I was taken, but she still chased after me, offering some really weird things such as a new pickle-jar opener or handmade necklaces. Freaking _necklaces! _What am I? A thirteen year old girl?

Sometimes, I really hated being the most popular person out there. Lauren even offered to give me a BJ, and I think you know what I mean by that. The worst part?

She said it in front of Bella. In. Front. Of. Bella.

I still remembered Bella's shocked but flipping furious eyes when Lauren told me that. I had to hold my baby back from ripping Mallory's head off, and even then, Bella couldn't help but shoot Lauren the bird whenever they saw each other. Even though Lauren never took it too personally (she's deluded herself into thinking I have the hots for her), she still joined Tanya's get-Edward-Cullen-and-screw-him-senseless campaign.

You'd think I'll at least enjoy the attention from all the ladies, but the problem was, I was simply _disgusted. _Majority of the females in Forks High had suddenly taken a liking to super-mini skirts and _very _low V neck shirts.

And if it was a rare, sunny day, the shirts and skirts disappeared into mini-dresses that didn't even cover more than one inch of their thighs. I'd imagined Bella to wear them, of course, and I always ended up really bothered in a, um, good way. But on Tanya and Lauren and all the rest of the trying hard girls?

Like I said, disgusting.

"You still going or do I have to kick your ass home?" Bella suggested, the hint of a menace in her voice. I looked down to her beautiful brown eyes and grinned at her.

Yep. I'm so screwed if she ever caught me thinking of her wearing really tight jeans, or low V neck shirts like her blue one, or maybe even that khaki colored skirt she owned; long but still pretty.

Oh, god. Alice has officially infiltrated my mind.

"Nah, I'd rather keep my butt from going all sore. I don't want Tanya or Lauren offering to give me a massage for it." I shuddered again, and I received a giggle from my girl.

"Ew, gross, Edward!" then she shoved me away from her before standing. I followed her example, minus the shoving away part.

"Send me to my car?" I begged her, giving her my best puppy-dog look. Jasper had gotten round to giving me back my car after I was done with work.

She pretended to consider the offer, looking up thoughtfully and tapping her chin. "Tempting . . . hmm, but I might need to hit the sack, dear sir. I have school tomorrow, as well as work. So I suggest that you bugger off." Bella used her British accent, and I laughed at her again.

"Well then, my fair lady, I guess this is goodbye." I gave her my most devastated look, pretending that I'd just received heartbreaking news. It worked like a charm; Bella was giggling her way to my car already.

"Whatever, Edward. You still suck at the accent." Bella laughed through her fingers and we stopped at the driver's side of Volvie.

"I'll keep trying, Bella. One day, I'll get it right. See you later, love, and good night," Then I swooped in to give her a kiss on her lips before pulling away and grinning at her devilishly.

"Night." she nodded, her voice rough. I chuckled before getting in my car. She waved at me, her expression somewhat sad and disappointed, but the minute I turned into the corner and disappeared, I grabbed my cellphone to send a text message. I know, I know, keep your eyes on the road and all the other shit, but it's three a.m. for crying out loud. No one's going to crash into me.

_And sweet dreams, my Bella. ;) _I sent that to Bella's cell before snapping my phone shut.

I didn't have to turn the AC on; the night was already chilly.

As I parked into the Cullen's garage, I noticed that it was all dark; the lights were off. Which is what made me suspicious. An odd sense of deja vu washed through me then, and I started to realize that something might be wrong.

Hurrying up the stairs when the lights are out and when your bedroom's on the top floor, it's kinda hard not to freak out. In that moment, the house suddenly seemed so dark and, well, _scary. _Images from the movie _The Exorcist _ran through my mind, and I shuddered a little.

Damn it, Masen. Enough with the horror movie referral. None of that exists, and if it does, don't even think about it. Now get your ass up the stairs, hurry up, and-

Wait.

Why the hell is the light in my room _on? _

"Shit," I heard myself breathe out, but instead of running away like my instincts told me, I marched into my room.

And stopped.

"What the heck are all of you doing in my _room?" _I gasped at the Cullen's. Carlisle and Esme were seated on my sofa while my siblings were all spread out across my bed. Okay, maybe not exactly _all _of my siblings. Alice was raiding my closet, tossing out some clothes and saying, "I can't _believe _he still has that. It's _so_ last season!"

"Oh, hey, Edward!" Em greeted and bounded up to give me a one armed hug. Jazz followed suit, afterwards giving me a fist bump, while Rose and Al pretty much left me breathless with their hugs. It took about seven minutes before I got them to settle down on my bed.

"It's past three in the morning, guys. What are you doing up so-" I began, but Carlisle interrupted me.

"I called them to stay awake till now. There's something I need to tell them, though I assume you've already done so." he stared imploringly at me, and I looked anywhere but his penetrating fatherly eyes that reminded me of Daddy.

"I, uh, yeah." was all that came out of my mouth.

"Dad . . ." Rose began, but couldn't quite find the words to finish.

Thank god for Alice, who bombarded Carlisle with questions. "Why are you going to disown Edward? When's the court date for it? Are you going to go back on your word? Have you even thought about the consequences of your actions? Were you even thinking about Edward's-"

"Al, chill out." I mumbled before sitting beside her and tapping her hand. She sniffled a little, and that's when I noticed that she was about to cry, but was holding back. I patted her head and looked at the ground, waiting for Carlisle to speak.

Sudden fluttering in my chest revealed that I was wishing, hoping that maybe he would really go back on his word, that maybe he'd take me back and screw the disownment. Perhaps that was the reason why he was calling the huge family meeting now. But no matter how much I wanted to believe it, the gnawing gut feeling I had told me that it wasn't going to be good.

And I was right.

Because Carlisle was suddenly handing me a file filled with papers. I looked up to meet his eyes, but they were already far away, distant, and cold. I tried not to shudder, because his demeanor reminded me of Daddy.

Almost eveything about Carlisle, it seemed, reminded me of Daddy.

Slowly, excruciatingly, I opened the file and stared at the papers.

The words that jumped out were: _I, Edward Anthony Cullen, hereby declare that I agree to being disowned by Carlisle Cullen, my current adoptive father._

Below that sentence was a single line; the line where I was supposed to sign my name. The words that followed indicated that the papers were to be signed by both parties before the judge could view it and hereby declare my being disowned final.

But that wasn't the reason why my hands were shaking.

I was irrationally pissed. For someone with so much class, Carlisle didn't have to call on the whole family just to embarrass me like this. He didn't have to make such a big scene. However, that wasn't how he rolled. For a split second, I found myself absolutely _loathing _Carlisle. I wanted to punch him, kick him in the dick or something.

Whenever I grew mad, I have a tendency to completely shut down. As in, the furious kind of anger, the real hatred, and not the shitty feeling like when I'd fought with Mike. That was stupid and short-lived.

This, however, felt entirely different.

Angrily, I grabbed my backpack and snatched a pen from inside it. I've had it. If this is what Carlisle wants, for me to be without a family, _fine. _I don't give a shit. But I'll show him that I _can _do something. That I'm _worth _something. I'll show him that I can freaking _lead. _

My conviction was set when I'd almost poked through the papers with my pen. They fluttered as, one after another, I signed them. After I'd signed the final paper, I thrust them at Carlisle.

Then I turned to meet my adoptive father's pained expression. My anger faltered as I caught his miserable face, his mouth turned down in a grimace, his eyes were droopy. In them, you'd see the picture of absolutely torn pain. He was fighting something tumultuous inside his head.

But then his blue eyes blinked, and he was back to being the emotionless guy he was.

The anger faded away, but regret and shame took it's place.

"See you on July fourteen." I nodded at him thickly, before shoving past Esme's outstretched arms. _Please, _I wanted to tell her, _don't make it any difficult for me. I've been through enough. Are you happy now? _

I didn't know where I was headed. All I know was that I needed to get away from them. All of them. I couldn't bear to look at Alice or any of my siblings. Or rather, soon to be _not-_siblings. As I ran down the stairs, I could hear Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper all voicing their disapproval to Carlisle, Alice screaming that she hated him and that he'll never understand.

Silently, I begged them not to tell Carlisle the truth. It was already a done deal. Nothing about my past could change the way Carlisle looked at me.

I didn't even bother to get in my car. I just kept running and running. I didn't even look back. Okay, maybe I did, but I only did it once. The wind was rushing past my ears as I ran, my legs getting winded and the constant pulling of my muscles made me feel like I was running away from a nightmare.

But wasn't that the truth?

I _am _running away from a nightmare.

It wasn't till I'd run past town that I'd noticed I was running to the only safe haven I knew; Bella's house. Gasping in breaths, I paused, wondering if Bella would even appreciate my being there.

Screw it.

The night was still and quiet as I climbed up the tree near Bella's freaking small balcony. I dumped myself on it, stumbling, and that's when I'd caught sight of Bella, in her bed, sleeping.

She looked so peaceful.

It was like no one could even touch her in her dreams. The moonlight shone on her features, highlighting her cheekbones. Her luscious lips were pulled slightly at the corners; she must be having a good dream. Her eyelids were the color of lavender, like how the clouds would look like before dawn officially broke.

Her slender body, wrapped in her duvet, was curled into a ball facing me. The mahogany curls that I've always loved were splayed darkly around her, almost like seaweed, and I wanted so badly to wrap my arms around her.

I felt like a freaking _stalker. _

No one should be watching their girlfriend while she was sleeping. It was just plain wrong.

And yet, why did I feel so . . . _at peace? _Watching her was like letting myself loose. I've never actually seen Bella really _sleep _before, and it was a surprisingly sensual experience to see her in this state. I observed her, leaning against her window and ignoring her Cactus. The way her eyelids flutter . . . her even breathing . . .

Suddenly, Bella's eye twitched and she rolled closer to the edge of her bed, the one that was facing me, and it was quiet enough that I could hear her say, "Edward, don't. Don't leave me. Please. " She began to mumble unintelligible words, and I caught myself pressing against the half-open glass, waiting, wanting.

It killed me.

It freaking killed me.

What was she dreaming of? That I was leaving her? No way. I will never do that. Not to her. She's everything that I have now, and the mere thought of leaving her made me still and cold, almost like I was made of ice. I recalled the pain and agony when I'd first told her I was dating Leah, and the absolute regret afterwards for lying.

No matter how wrong it was, I was irreversibly altered. Bella was the one who I now pictured of holding on to, whenever I'd get my recurring nightmares of the last night I'd seen Daddy. She took the place of Momma, and her warm, trusting brown eyes were all I needed to get through the dark night.

I can't leave her, and neither do I plan to. I love her. Forever. And this moment right here, where I was pathetically pressed up against her cold, glass window just proved to the fact that I needed her. Bella wasn't just another normal love. I needed her like I needed air to breathe; not a choice. A necessity.

Bella's stressed face grew smooth and she was smiling once more, distracting me when she whispered, "I love you, Edward."

Ah, damn.

In that moment, I felt like I wasn't just another seventeen year old boy, ruled by his hormones. I was a man, a lover. And even though I've tried to deny how strong my feelings were for Bella, I can't.

Those simple words erased all the memories I had of the night. _She _erased whatever Carlisle had said to me, she took away my pain, or more preferably, she was comforting me in it.

"Jacob?" Bella suddenly asked, her voice surprised, and her eyebrows were furrowed. Instantly, her face was crumpled.

And then she was screaming.

Her screams of pure _agony, _pain, regret, screams that, from now on, will always haunt me . . . they pierced through me, and I couldn't help myself. I threw open Bella's window, ignoring the loud groan that came from it, and slid into her room. I ran to Bella, dived into the bed, and pulled Bella against me.

I was aware of Bella's strawberry scent. It seemed like it was everywhere. In her pillows, her duvet . . .

She didn't notice I was holding her at first, she just kept on screaming. With every scream she took, I felt my body convulse. I've never seen Bella going to pieces like this. Never.

And it freaked me out, because I _knew _in that moment that Bella wasn't _okay _with everything like she seemed to be. She was hurting inside, keeping her pain a secret. I was angry at her for one second, because it was seriously messed up. She didn't deserve to feel this much agony.

Bella continued to scream, and my ears felt like they were about to burst.

Where was Chief Swan? Where was Leah? Weren't they supposed to help her? They should be able to hear her freaking screams, for crying out loud. They were murderous screams; frightening. Surely they could hear her?

Then I realized that they must have been used to it. This is probably not the first time Bella's reacting this way.

I felt anguished. It was almost like her pain was my pain.

"Ssh, it's okay, love. Hush now," I murmured against her hair and her trembling body just shook even more. I pulled Bella tighter into my chest, and I felt the front of my shirt getting soaked.

That's when Bella gasped awake. Her panic-filled eyes looked up and met mine. They were overwhelmed with tears, and she looked so disgruntled and frightened that I hugged her tighter to me.

She choked out, "Edward_. __Edward." _

Then she started crying again, full out sobs that I knew exactly who could be the cause: Jacob Black, the boy she loved, the boy she still _loves. _I'd accepted that Bella could never be fully _mine, _because a part of her died when her Jacob died, and that she belonged to him in some weird way. I was just an exception. I was never meant for her, but I coveted her anyway.

This thought made me upset for a moment. But I reigned it in. No use brooding over it now, Bella needed me.

So I held Bella as she sobbed. Her delicate little hands clutching onto my shirt, almost like she was holding on to me for dear life. I held her around her back, rubbed it up and down.

It must have been about two hours since Bella began her outburst. But it felt like an eternity. My shirt was thoroughly wet by then; salt water stained it. And yet I couldn't bring myself to be mad at her. I couldn't care less about myself.

Bella started to hiccup. I held her tighter against me for a minute before pulling her away. I looked into her bloodshot brown eyes and said, "Be right back, sweetheart. I'll go get you water, yeah?" Then I wiped her extra hot, wet cheeks and kissed her forehead. Her shoulders shook a little with every hiccup she had.

I knew my way around Bella's house. Like I said, I've been around here far more than I've ever been in the Cullen's house recently. I knew where Bella's kitchen was, I knew where Leah had been sleeping, and where Chief Swan was snoring loudly from the room beside Bella's.

And I definitely knew where to go to for getting Bella an Aspirin. I knew she'd need it. I've been through a breakdown once, and the end result was a massive headache. My baby didn't need that. No. I'll take her headache full on, just so she won't get hurt anymore.

As I walked into the kitchen, I jolted when my eyes caught a figure.

"What the-" Leah began to scream, but I rushed over to her and clamped my hand over her mouth.

"Mmm!" she said through my hand.

And then she bit me. "Ow, damn it!" I cursed as I wrenched my hand away from her dangerous mouth. I rubbed the part where she bit me for a little before I faced Leah's questioning gaze.

"What the eff are you doing here? Wait . . . are you and Bella . . . ?" she trailed off suggestively. Though I couldn't see her face properly, I could tell she was wagging her eyes evilly.

"No! I was just comforting Bella." I told her half the truth. She didn't need to know the gory details of why I was actually in her room in the first place. I walked past Leah to the sink, where I filled up a glass of water and reached into the topmost cupboard for her medicinal box. I knew Bella kept one, and that the Aspirins were in the compartment by the side of the box.

"It keeps getting worse, doesn't it?" Leah murmured, and I caught a hint of sadness in her voice.

"I wouldn't exactly know. Why aren't you comforting her, then, if you could hear her . . . screaming?" I questioned her, turning to face her dark figure.

"Trust me, I've tried. But no matter what I did, she just wouldn't wake up. But I'm surprised her screaming stopped short tonight. Was it 'cause of you?"

"I don't know . . . maybe." It was quiet for another second before I broke the silence. "I'm sorry, Leah. For hurting you and stuff. I was-"

She cut me off.

"Yeah, yeah. You were protecting Bella. I get it. Just make sure you don't hurt _her, _though. Or I swear, I'll run you through. I'll make you pay, asshole. You won't live another day."

"Oh, _wow. _You're probably the hundredth person who's already threatened me with that, you know. But don't worry. I won't ever hurt her." I said determinedly.

"Good. That's . . . good." I thought I caught sniffles, and I swear, I think I could hear something brewing behind that tough voice she had on. Then she grunted and fled away, probably to her room. I blinked, trying to think through the odd wave of . . . _pity? _I didn't get it.

But it sure as hell was gratifying.

I quickly strode up the stairs, eager to get back to Bella, and when I sneaked into her room once more, she was lying across the bed, fast asleep. She was wearing her peaceful expression.

In her arms was my leather jacket. I'd forgotten that I'd left it on her bed.

I smiled and placed the pill of Aspirin and the glass of water on her bedside table before gingerly sitting beside her. I leaned in to kiss her hair, inhaling her strong strawberry shampoo. Bella sighed for the second time tonight and murmured, "I love you, Edward," once more.

Pulling myself onto her bed, I embraced her warm little body before tucking her duvet around us. I made sure she was warm enough before I stroke her hair soothingly. She moved in against my chest, fitting herself snugly against my body. Bella let go of my jacket but wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling herself into me before resting her head on the crook of my neck.

"I love you, too, my Bella. Sleep, sweetheart. Dream happy dreams. I won't let _anything _hurt you." I told the sleeping girl in my arms before bending to kiss her eyelids.

That night was the first night I ever realized how deep my love for Bella was.

And that's the first night I stayed up just to watch another sleep.

* * *

><p><em>When I was younger, I saw my Daddy cry, and curse at the wind. He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it . . .<em>

Bella's cell rang, alerting me that it was already morning. Slightly disgruntled, I blinked once and looked down at her. I didn't even sleep, I just alternated from looking at her ceiling, to Bella herself.

Her arms, which were locked around my neck since she fell asleep, tightened, and I could tell that they were numb. But I didn't try to move her into a more comfortable position through the night; I couldn't do that. Not when every try ended up with her only tightening her hold on me.

I gently removed the arm that was holding her waist and switched off Bella's alarm in her cellphone. Slowly, my girl started to rouse, and her body shifted against mine.

Then she looked up to meet my gaze, comprehension dawning in her eyes. I waited, I _knew _she'd start crying soon enough, and I wouldn't stop her. I can't.

But Bella surprised me. Instead of breaking down like I thought she'd be doing, she pulled herself tighter onto me and kissed me fiercely.

This kiss was different. It wasn't sweet like our previous ones. Her lips were full of despair and horror. It was almost as if she wanted to seek comfort. So I kissed her back, unsure, but willing to do whatever she wanted.

And then I remembered that I might actually have bad breath.

Pulling away from Bella's lips were difficult, but I didn't want to let her smell the stink of my mouth. If I even had any.

"No, no, no." Bella protested, and her voice cracked, indicating the start of a breakdown. Desperate to keep her from pain, I went back to kissing her, careful not to open up my mouth, just in case.

Eventually, the kisses slowed, and I waited for Bella to pull away. When she did, I let her stare into my eyes, and I rubbed her back again. "You wanna stay in bed or what?" I asked her gently.

She looked torn at first, but then she shook her head. "No. Let's go to school."

"Okay." I answered her simply, but made no move to release her.

"By the way . . . what are you doing here?" she asked me, and then she raised her head to rest it on my chin lightly, waiting for me to frame my answer.

"I, er, well, it's a pretty long story."

"We've got time." she reminded me.

"Okay, fine. So I went back to the Cullen's like you told me to, and found out that the whole family's waiting for me in my room. Then, um, Carlisle handed me some papers . . . papers about disowning me. He needed me to sign them, so I did. Except I was really angry afterwards. He didn't need to let my siblings stay up just for that idiotic thing. I got real pissed and ran away . . . but I ended up running towards your house.

"I wasn't planning on actually disturbing your sleep. I thought that maybe I could, um, sit in your balcony or something. Then . . . you started screaming, and I just . . ." I gave her the abridged version of my night, but trailed off at the end. I shuddered.

Bella gasped and her brown eyes grew wide. She ducked down and hid her head in my chest.

This was it.

"Bella, sweetheart . . ." I began, "You don't have to keep your pain for Jacob a secret, you know. I bumped into Leah one time during the night, and she told me that it isn't the first time you've been having these nightmares. Maybe . . . maybe it's better for you if you _tell _someone, like I've done with Alice and the rest of my siblings."

"I told _you _already, remember?" Bella protested, her voice muffled.

"But it's not enough. Bella, you _have _to let your secret out eventually. I won't let you keep your pain a secret, love. It killed me to see you hurt like that, heck, it's killing me _now. _You might think you're strong enough, but you're wrong! If you won't tell someone other than myself, Bella, than _I _will. You can't . . . I won't . . . ugh."

I groaned out the last part and closed my eyes.

"I don't know, Edward. I really don't." she murmured later. Then she pushed off my chest and sat in between my legs. "Maybe you're right. But I'm not ready yet. But when I _am _ready, I'll tell you, okay? I'm so sorry Edward. I'm so sorry you had to see that."

_Come on, Masen. Say something already. Say something to comfort your girlfriend, _my conscience scolded me.

"Uh, I, um, it's nothing. You needed comfort, and it's kind of included into my job description to give that to you." I said dumbly.

"Really, Edward. I'm sorry. You shouldn't have-" I cut her off.

"Bella. Quit apologizing. I'm supposed to comfort you because I'm your boyfriend, therefore that makes me responsible for kicking Jacob's butt for making you feel like shit."

Bella giggled, and I was relieved to hear it.

"Wait, does this mean you stayed with me the whole _night?" _she gasped.

"Yep."

"Oh my god! Look at your eyes! You have major eyebags growing! Oh no, oh no, this is all my fault. If you end up sleeping in class, and miss the entire lesson, oh jeez, Edward. You should have gone home!" she was flustered, half-blushing and half-cursing me.

"It's nothing," I insisted and touched her burning cheek. Then I turned to look at her bedside table, where the glass of water and Aspirin still lay. I picked up the glass, examined it, before giving it to Bella. Then I popped the pill-case open and gave that to her as well.

"You must have a headache. Here, drink this." I told her. Ordered, actually.

"How did you - ugh. Never mind." she shook her head and leaned her neck back to gulp down the pill and water. I felt my eyes pop wide open at her exposed neck, because I saw something that was stuck in between a turn-on and the most horrifying thing ever.

It was a hickey, right by the side of her neck.

It was _my _hickey.

Ah, shit.

Bella noticed my staring, because she touched the bruise a little and giggled once more. "You know, you're dead if Charlie sees this."

I began to freak out. "You won't tell him, right? Shit, Bella. Don't give me that face! You're freaking me out!"

She laughed evilly, all trace of her former pain now erased. "Maybe. Ha! I can use this," she pointed to her hickey, "as a form of blackmail! Yeah!" She made a show of pumping her fist in the air before grinning widely at me.

Smiling along with her, I traced her cheekbones before touching her lips. "Bella, I would have given you _everything _and _anything _even without that damn hickey. I'm sorry love, you might have to wear another turtleneck to hide it."

My baby pursed her lips before letting out another small smile. "Anything?"

And her stomach growled.

I laughed.

"I guess you know what I want." she sighed and rubbed her stomach in a lazy manner. _Stop! Masen, control! Self-control, self-control! _I began chanting in my head.

As I gave Bella the crooked smile I knew she loved, I made a vow in my head to never, _ever _let anyone hurt her anymore.

Never.

BPOV

"Edward! Thank god!" Alice squealed as Edward and I walked into the school cafeteria, hand in hand.

It was lunch, and I'd given Edward one of my oversized hoodies to wear. He wore nothing underneath it, and my hoodie fitted him just right. I'd also gave him one of Charlie's unused boxers, which he miraculously managed to squeeze into.

He tore his hand away from mine just as Alice attacked him, flinging herself into his arms before hanging off him. It looked like such a comical sight, the way she had to clutched around his neck just to stay upright. Alice was a tiny thing, shorter than me, even.

After Alice, Rosalie claimed my boyfriend next, and then Jasper and Emmett gave him a one armed hug.

I don't know how to explain it, but something intangible had changed between me and Edward. It's almost as if we weren't the same person, or rather, almost as if _I _wasn't the same person. I remembered waking up in Edward's arms and feeling so safe and pleased when he'd told me he'd stayed up to watch me sleep.

And then I cringed, remembering my dream.

My dream started off as usual; Edward, Edward, Edward. We were walking together through a forest, and he was leading me, holding my hand tightly. But then my dream abruptly shifted when Jacob appeared.

_"You're replacing me now, Bella? You're replacing me with _this _bastard?" __he'd spat out. _

_Then the scene changed. Edward's warm hand was ripped apart from mine. We were in an unfamiliar house, the fireplace was covered in ashes. No one had bothered to build another fire in it. The revolting stench of beer and tobacco filled the air, tainting it, making me want to puke. _

_I was still staring into Jake's warm face when it shifted into something more . . . _

_I watched, horrified, as Jacob Black's face morphed into a monster. The same one that I'd seen all around the papers. Shocked and absolutely terrified, I watched as Edward Senior opened up his disgusting black mouth to hiss, "I'll show you, Bella. I'll show you who's the better man." _

_But the voice was wrong. It wasn't deep, like how I'd expected. _

_It was like Jake's warm voice. _

_And it was wrong. _

_Gasping, I turned to look at the little boy seated across a coffee table, playing with a toy T-Rex, completely oblivious to his surroundings. His tousled hair was lanky, and he wore a singlet that was dirt stained. His skinny arms were so horrifically thin that I wondered if the boy had eaten anything at all. _

_But it wasn't his amazing green eyes that made me want to run up and protect him. _

_It was his _scars.

I flinched, recalling my nightmare with perfect precision now.

_Jacob - as Edward's father - marched up to the little boy with a beer bottle in his hands. The little boy, my Edward, screamed when the beer bottle made contact with his skull. I heard a sickening crack before a steady stream of blood erupted from the left side of his head._

_And then Jake laughed evilly as he picked my poor Edward up by his hair, stabbing him mercilessly. Finally, little Edward looked to me, his beautiful eyes crinkled up in pain. "Bella! Bella!" he was screaming. "Save me, Bella!" _

_I ran up to Jacob, but it was useless. I might as well have been pulling against air for all the effort I was putting in. So I started screaming._

_And screaming . . . screaming so loud that even my own ears hurt . . ._

"Bella? Sweetheart?" present-day Edward was cupping my cheeks, staring anxiously into my eyes. His handsome face was worried and there were lines in his forehead.

"Huh?" I managed.

He eyed me suspiciously before pulling me with him to sit at his lunch table, where Emmett was chowing down on some weird ravioli thing. Jasper was munching on a sandwich while Rosalie ate nothing but a Snickers bar. Alice was prancing about, mumbling about needing new shoes.

Edward sat me down in between him and Jasper. I think he wanted me to sit beside his silent but fun brother because Jasper had this way with making people feel comfortable. It's as if he's emanating comfort from himself.

Jasper gave me a hug, and I instantly felt at ease. Emmett plopped down across from me, and ruffled my hair, just like how a big brother would do to his little sister.

Edward popped open my soda for me before he bit into his apple. He didn't have much of an appetite nowadays, probably due to the fact of the pigging out Charlotte would always force Edward to whenever he had work at the Lodge.

"-anyway, I was thinking that maybe Rose, Bella and I could spend some girl time around Port Angeles?" Alice chattered happily, but there was a sense of strain underneath her chirpy tone. Edward had filled me in that his siblings were under a massive fight with Carlisle and Esme involving Edward's disownment.

I looked at Edward.

He smiled at me, encouraging me to go ahead. Then he leaned in to whisper in my ear, "Whatever happens, don't let Alice near the shoes." I giggled and Alice eyed us suspiciously.

I kissed his cheek and took a sip of my soda. "I'm in." I told Alice after I'd cleared my throat. She clapped her hands and flung herself at me. "Yeah! Oh my god, you're the best sister _ever!" _

Rosalie cleared her throat and raised her eyebrow at Alice. "Aww. I'm hurt Alice. So I'm your second-place now?"

Edward, Emmett, Jasper and I all laughed at Rosalie's faux-hurt face. Alice looked torn, looking back and forth between me and Rose. "Nah, the two of you are the best sisters I can ever ask for!" she finally laughed, sounding like a child, and hugged Rosalie while keeping me in her other arm.

"Will you look at that, all of our girls hugging each other. How heart-_warming." _Em pressed his gigantic hand to his heart as he uttered his words sarcastically. "Shut up, Em. You know you just want a hug, too. C'mere." Jasper tackled Emmett into a headlock as they roared with laughter.

"And _you!" _Jasper pointed to Edward. "You're not escaping us this time!"

Edward piled away from his seat as he geared up to run away from his brothers. I was laughing non-stop now, watching as my boyfriend got chased by his brothers out the cafeteria and into the parking lot.

"God, sometimes, I wonder if they're the same age as us." Rose laughed.

"They're over-sized boys. Let them grow up first. By the way, Rose, have you decided on a wedding dress?" Alice asked Rosalie, picking through the remains of Jasper's sandwich.

"Er, no. I was thinking that our afternoon around Port Angeles might help me with finding that goddamned dress. You know, if it weren't for Emmett wanting to include the whole family in our wedding, I would have just dragged his butt over to Las Vegas already." Rose sighed and shook out her blonde hair as she crossed her legs.

"What about you, Bella?" Alice asked me.

"Um . . . Edward and I aren't engaged." I nodded stupidly, gazing down at my soda. Then I quickly asked her, "How bout you and Jazz? Are the two of you ever going to . . . ?" I trailed off suggestively.

"Yeah, when are you going to get back with him?" Rose leaned in to Alice, who, for once, looked uncomfortable.

"I don't know," she sighed, "I feel like the trust between us is gone, you know? I miss him like crazy, but I'm not ready to forgive him yet. Hopefully, this trip to Europe will help build my trust in him again. I _really _miss my Jazzy."

My heart went out to Alice and I tapped her hand in a sign of pity.

"Hey girls! What did we miss?" Em suddenly boomed from behind me and I jumped. "Emmett!" I heard Edward scold him.

"Naw, Edward, I'm just playing with my little sister!" Em laughed as he picked me up from where I was perched comfortably on the edge of the lunch table's bench. Then Emmett swung me around in a huge circle, my feet flying and nearly missing Jessica Stanley, who gave me the evil eye afterwards.

"Put my girlfriend down, Emmett!" Edward was yelling at Em. He only boomed out in laughter as he set me down beside Edward, who replaced Emmett's massive arms. "Are you okay, love?" he asked me while I wobbled a little.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just give me a moment." I told him.

The rest of school passed by in a blur. I think it was probably due to the fact that the end of the school year was close, or maybe because I was looking forward to the girls day out with Alice and Rosalie. This was my one chance to bond with them.

Edward and his brothers were having a boys day out as well. They were going to go hiking, and I made sure that Emmett wasn't going to take them too far away into the woods. I shivered at the idea of my Edward, lost, wandering around in the middle of the night.

When I drove over to the Newton Outfitter's store for work, Mike surprised me by saying that it was my day off. I _never _got a day off before, and it made me especially suspicious when I saw Alice nodding secretively at Mike. I'd only frowned, but let Alice and Rose tug me out of the store and into Brandon. They were frustrated, of course, by my truck's speed limit, but we talked like crazy on the hour long drive from Forks to Port Angeles.

I learned that Alice was a shopaholic. None of her clothes were bought in thrift stores, and sixty percent of them were from Prada and Vera Wang, which shocked me, because that would mean that she owned red-carpet worthy dresses. Alice also owned a shoe closet, something that was a first for me.

She had stilettos from Gucci, bags from Kate Spade, Miu-Miu skirts I never knew even _existed. _When Alice asked me what kind of clothes I had, I gave her my best option: Levis.

As for Rosalie, I'd learned that she was a car enthusiast. Her biological father had been a car repair person, so she grew up playing with Hot Wheels instead of a doll house. Before her father died, she promised him that she'd keep the business running. Rose was, surprisingly, Jasper's cousin. I wasn't expecting that, because no one brought it up, but I was glad that Rose, at least, had a surviving relative in her family.

Rose and Alice weren't very different. The minute we hit the shops, they were on their way to find clothes that were . . . _grand. _I mean, Alice bought several dresses that belonged in the runway and not Forks, while Rosalie was stuck in between two skirts of the same type, only they were in different color.

Me? I aimed for the hoodies.

Rose chastised me, Alice chided, but I stuck my tongue out at them. Besides, the second hoodie that was emerald green wasn't for me, but for Edward. I thought that it would look good on him, so I bought it, planning to give it to him later on.

I stopped when, from the corner of my eye, I saw a shoe store. And then I remembered Edward's warning. _"Whatever happens, don't let Alice near the shoes."_

Grabbing Alice's hand, I gave her the lame excuse of wanting to get a manicure. I knew that it would be a bad idea should Alice ever see the shoes, because later she might end up buying the whole store. I bit my lip from laughing when comprehension smoothed Rose's face when she caught the sign of the shoe store.

It was one of the most fun days I'd ever had. When Emmett called to tell us that they were waiting for us outside my house, we had to call it a day. My truck had never been so full before, what with all the bags Alice had. Rose and I both had two bags each, while Alice had about _eighteen._

And my nails had never sparkled so much before. I didn't know what Alice told the manicurist, but I sure as hell never seen such sparkly nails before. They literally glittered in the fading sun.

"Man, I'm whipped!" Rose stretched from the other side of Alice, who was squashed in between me and her. "Careful! That dress might get crumpled up!" Alice let out a scream as she pointed to the bag in front of Rose. Rosalie laughed and linked her arm with Alice. "Of course, sister. I'll take extra care of it."

We were laughing like crazy when we pulled into my street. Then I caught sight of something I never thought I'd see.

It was Leah.

And she was carrying a duffel bag.

"Leah!" I gasped, scrambling to get out of my truck. Leah heard my gasp and turned to smile at me. She was standing beside a familiar white Corolla Altis, and she was leaning into the arms of . . .

"Oh god, Paul! Seth!" I gasped again.

Running towards them, I caught sight of Edward, Emmett and Jasper leaning against Edward's Volvo, looking slightly ruffled with a few leaves stuck to their clothing. Emmett was still sweating.

Paul and Seth turned towards the sound of my voice and they smiled widely at me. Seth ran over to give me a big hug. I buried my face in his broad chest; it's been such a long time since I last saw him, and he'd gotten so freaking tall. Paul didn't greet me, because he was still hugging Leah tightly. This image made me smile.

"Hey, Bella!" Seth crowed.

"Hi, Seth!" I cheered and hugged him tighter for once second, before letting him go.

I walked over to Lee-Lee and eyed her bag. "Are you-"

"Yeah. I figured it's about time. Come here, B. Gimme one last hug." Then Leah flung herself out of Paul's arms and into my own.

"I'm going to miss you." I cried into Leah's shoulder. She nodded against my hair and I felt my shirt dampen.

"Me too, B. Me too. But you know, you're going to do alright," she pulled away and trained her eyes into mine. "Bella Swan, _you're _going to be alright. Look behind you. You already have a family here, you don't need us anymore." Leah smiled and pushed back my hair from my face.

"Sweetie, you're the best friend I'll ever have. I swear it. But you're not mine anymore. I'm so glad I knew you, Bella. I was wrong and I was right. You _did _change my life, and because of you, I would have never been able to get up from where I'd fallen when Sam dumped me. And, yeah, it's about time for me to face him. I'm going back to Phoenix and I'm going to kick his ass for breaking my heart."

I laughed at Leah's ferociousness. Leah will always be Leah.

"You don't need me anymore Bella. You've got an amazing family behind you, and I _know _that one day, you'll get over Jacob. I know that you'll be able to love Edward fully one day. Because the girl I see now? She's different from the one I've known, the one I've hated. And now . . . looking at you, I feel . . . I feel _happy. _Thanks, B. For everything."

And then Leah was sobbing.

I'm not one to let down easily, so I cried with her, hugging her tightly to me. "I love you, Lee-Lee. Never forget that!" I said fiercely.

"You're my BFF. Of course I won't forget that." Lee-Lee teased and gave me one last squeeze.

Then she released me and smiled. In her smile, she wasn't the broken Leah I always saw. She was different, the air around her seemed to light up. And Paul wrapped his arms around Leah's waist. "I wasn't done hugging you yet." I heard him murmur into Leah's hair.

And I could see it in his eyes.

He _loved _Leah. But he still did.

Leah was blushing, but she managed to drape her arm around Paul's waist. He looked up to give me a smile before winking. "See ya, B." he bade me goodbye as he got into Seth's Corolla with Leah by his side. They sat at the backseat, and I turned to look at Seth.

"Is this goodbye?" I asked of him.

He looked down before smiling at me, his black eyes crinkled happily like it always did.

"No. It's just the beginning."


	19. Giving My Secret Away

_**Author's Note: Arghhhhhh! 114 reviews for Don't Wanna Go Home! Okay, first things first, don't even bother looking at the reviews mark in CYKAS, because even though it's written as 105 reviews, trust me, it's wayyyyyy more than that. =) So MEGA SUPER LARGE EXTRA thank yous to MeFromMars (I absolutely ADORE 30 Seconds To Mars! They're one of my favorite bands, taking a place between My Chemical Romance and Panic! At The Disco, and I'm glad you loved my ending for Leah. Paul seemed like a good match with her, you know, 'cos of their attitudes?), Marzu93, Funky Actress (Anastasia is an awesome show. ^^), fanficftw23 (yeah, there'll be some Jacob action going on later on in the chapters, just hang in there! =D), AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234, divickd (nah, it's okay that you didn't leave a review for the previous chappie. And you gave several points to me that I was losing touch of, so thank you so much for pointing them out!), jenn-is-me, and of course, the super lovely Emoprincess98 (I simply LOVE your reviews. They're so funny and entertaining, not to mention extremely energizing and heart-warming! Okay, that was just cheesy, but hey, it's the truth! =) And you're right, school and boys suck. I'm trying really hard to get my best friend and boyfriend to see eye to eye, but they're just too stubborn. Ugh. -.- But anyway, that joke you told me? IT WAS FLIPPING AWESOME! I kept laughing like crazy, eventually my boyfriend had to come over to where I sitting in the couch and soothe me! And then HE read your joke, and then started laughing like mad too! And, ironically, both me and him detest the Jonas Brothers. I'm not one for bands like them . . . somehow, they sound kind of poppish. Sorry to those who love the JBs, but I have very opinionated views. Haha, and how can I ever forget? I LOVE YOU TOO, MORE THAN I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND EVEN! Ahaha, he just gave me the pout by the way. *he's watching me write this at the moment* xD And good luck on that Eng Vocab test you have, I'll bet you ace it!**__**)**_

_**For clarifications: Carlisle's decision on disowning Edward was made because he felt that Edward had altered into a completely different person from the one he once adopted. He's too prideful to consider another alternative other than disowning his utmost beloved son, but he thinks he has no choice. Also, Bella **_**will _love Edward fully, but she still has a lot of closure to do._**

**_And yeah, this chapter is pretty short, but I thought it was only right to end it right there. _**

_**So, if you've watched The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn: Part 1, and freaking LOVE it, hey, feel free to leave a review! **_

_**And now, cuddle up with a pillow, find a comfy position on that seat, and ENJOY!**_

_**~Serene.**_

_**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the world, because she owns Twilight. **_

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

I watched as Bella gave her tall, jock-like friend who kinda looked like Leah one last hug, just as he looked back at me to shoot a teasing grin that, behind the smile, was filled with warnings.

We'd run into Seth just as we got to Bella's house. When I'd first seen the white Corolla, I was ready for some confrontation with an unknown, buffed-up dude, but I didn't get a buffed-up dude with heavy tattoos and freakish piercings throughout his body, instead, I got a tall kid wearing a varsity jacket with the words 'Phoenix State High' printed behind it.

He seemed kind enough, so I'd asked him what the heck he was doing in my girlfriend's sidewalk, and he'd answered simply, "I'm picking my sis up. Wait, your _girlfriend? _As in, you're B's boyfriend?"

"Yeah," I'd sort of boasted.

The dude wouldn't believe me, even when Jazz and Em had leapt to my defense, the kid only shook his head and waited for evidence. Finally, no matter how much I'd resented it, I pulled out my cellphone to show him my display picture, which consisted of me and Bella doing a close-up with my girl kissing my cheek lovingly.

By then, the kid already believed me and gave me the freaking 'talk.'

Ugh.

Let me just say that getting the whole 'you-must-protect-Bella-and-love-her-to-no-ends' talk from a kid who looked like he was two or three years younger than I was, is so not ego-winding. I felt kinda humiliated afterwards, and since Bella and the rest of the girls had yet to come, I'd had to listen to Em tease me endlessly.

The whole experience was freaky, and I didn't want to go through with it, but when I saw Bella's expression as she waved goodbye to her friends now, as they drove away, I knew that she had a lot to do, and that this was a baby step to finding her closure with Jacob.

Bella stood on her sidewalk for several minutes, ignoring the fact that her friends were long gone. I waited for her to crack; I knew she'd start crying anytime soon.

But my baby girl shocked me.

She didn't cry, hell no.

When Bella turned to face me and my siblings, her expression looked serene, at peace, and she was smiling. Her eyes were a million miles away, and they flew to my face, searching, before she quickly ran towards me, jumping into my outstretched arms. It was then that she started crying little sobs that made my heart ache.

She buried her face in my neck, wrapping her legs around my waist as I locked my arms around her body. I tilted her so that she was hitched higher and made sure she wasn't uncomfortable before gently kissing her cheeks.

"It's okay, Bella. It's okay . . . ssh, you'll see them again. _Soon." _I stressed the last word out, eyeing my siblings, who looked lost for words. They've never seen Bella break down before, and they must have noticed her shaking back.

"No, no, no," Bella repeated her words from this morning, "I-I'm fine."

Startled and weirded out, I asked, "Then why are you crying?"

"Be-because I'm ha-happy." she bubbled and pulled away to stare into my eyes, keeping her face real close to mine. "Love you." she told me firmly, before smashing her lips to mine. Like always, I kissed her back and held her tighter to me.

I was the one who had to pull away for air. I smiled at her dazzling smile. Yep. I will definitely work harder to get those kind of smiles from her again.

"Aww, Bellsy, what about me? Don't you love me too?" Emmett suddenly sniffled, and I turned to look at his pouting expression. He pretended to wipe away a tear as he stared at Bella's blushing but smiling face. She laughed, and the sound was like music to my ears.

God, I swear, I'm becoming a cheeseball.

"Of course, Emmy! I love you like crazy loads!" Bella laughed and Emmett came over to tug Bella away from me. I let him, and smiled wider as my big and burly brother cradled Bella to his chest like a football player. "That's my sister, yeah!" Em crowed with laughter, ruffling up her hair before hugging her tightly.

And then my intimidating, wrestler-like brother leaned in to whisper into my girl's ear, "I'm here for you, Bellsy. Always. You've changed Edward, you've changed Rosie, Al, Jazz . . . you've changed _me. _I love you, lil sis."

I heard Alice let out an audible 'aww' as she heard Emmett's speech. Then my brother turned from the pile of mush to the big oaf he was previously, swinging Bella around and making her legs flail about.

"Emmett, put my sister down!"

Surprisingly, it wasn't Rose or Alice who'd shouted that sentence at him, though they did look like they were ready to beat the shit out of Em anytime soon.

Jasper was glaring at Em, waiting impatiently for him to put Bella down.

I chuckled when Em scowled at him before setting my girlfriend down in front of Jazz, who gave a timid smile at her. He opened up his arms hesitantly, and Bella leaned into them, smiling slightly and closing her eyes.

"Em's not the only one who's found a new sister, Bella. You're like . . . like nothing I've ever seen before. He's right you know, you have changed _us._ I would have never thought I could feel this happy in such a long time. Don't stop what you're doing to us, because whatever you're doing, we're always gonna support you."

I could only gape. Jazz was usually the more stoic and silent one, so it sort of freaked me out to see him let loose on his feelings. But it made the whole thing more realistic, watching my siblings accept Bella from a normal friend, to one of their own.

Rose and Alice both lunged themselves at Bella, the moment looking rehearsed, but I let it slip. Alice was crying, Rose was sniffling a little, and Bella was patting their backs, hushing them.

They only managed these words, "Love you . . . the best . . . amazing . . . sister!"

And then they pulled away and Bella shuffled to me, looking up to meet my gaze. She gave me a grin, one huge one that assured me something: She was ready.

I smoothed her hair from her face and kissed her forehead. "I love you."

"Yeah, because I know two brothers who'll kick your butt if you don't." she laughed, pressing her head into my chin, throwing her arms around my neck, pulling me down to her hug. And who the heck am I to pull away? So I stayed there, looking at my siblings smile at me. Rose had her arms around Em's body, and he was holding her to him. Even Alice was looking at Jasper, who stared back. It was impossible not to see the sparks flying between the two of them.

It was a picture I'd never get tired of.

But, like most of the things in my life, all good things had to come to an end eventually.

And the end of my life with the Cullen's was coming so close. Too close.

It would all end on the fourteenth of July.

I'm not even sure if I was ready to face it.

"So? Anybody up for some grub?" I cleared my throat, eager to get the stupid thoughts out of my head.

Emmett yelled out a single "yeah!" while Rose and Jazz nodded eagerly. Alice was pumping her fist in the air while Bella's stomach growled in agreement. I mock-glared at my two sisters as I scolded them for not taking better care of my girl.

"It's not our fault she didn't make a sound!" Rose protested, holding her hands up. I only laughed at her and tugged Bella along with me to the Volvo.

"Er . . ." she bit her lip, staring off into the distance.

We all turned to the flashing of blue and red lights, suddenly aware that Chief Swan was about to join our little company. As the Chief got out of the cruiser, he gave Em the evil eye (he was once caught for speeding). "Evening, guys. What are y'all doing out here? It's got to be freezing," he gave a little shiver, and we only grinned.

The Chief was wearing his uniform with no signs of a jacket, so it figures that he'd feel cold. Leave it to Forks to make you feel cold even though summer is approaching.

"Um, Dad, Edward was just-" Alice cut Bella off.

"Good evening, Chief Swan. I was wondering if me and my siblings could bring Bella out for dinner? She's probably starving, and um, I _really _wanted to get to know her better."

Uh-oh, Al's giving the Chief her puppy-dog look. Shit, even _I _couldn't resist it.

"Well, I, uh, I think Bells would like a day off from cooking? I'll just have to make do with the leftovers." the Chief said rather gruffly, looking anywhere but Alice's agonized eyes.

"But Dad-" Bella protested.

"Naw, Bella, I'm going to be fine. 'Sides, isn't it about time for you to go out with Edward?" he smiled at me, silently telling me to protect his little girl.

I gave him a reassuring smile, nodding once at him before pulling Bella closer to my chest. "Your dad's right, sweetheart. And you should know that whatever Alice wants, she gets."

My siblings chuckled and the Chief smiled. "See? That's the spirit. Now go have some fun, Bells. I trust you'll get her home before twelve, Edward?" he asked me.

"Yes, sir. I'll keep her safe, Chief Swan. I won't let her out of my sight tonight." I said with confidence and sincerity. He nodded approvingly, pursing his lips as he gave Bella the thumbs-up. She laughed and went over to give her old man a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll see you later, Dad. Get some rest, 'kay? Your eyes are kinda baggy nowadays."

"Sure thing, Bells. Oh, and tell your friend over here," he gestured to Emmett, "to keep his driving to a bare minimum. Don't want him getting another ticket now, do we?"

Bella burst out laughing, followed closely by us. "Aww, I'm sorry sir. You know how kids are nowadays, they just wanna have fun!" Emmett boomed, comically putting his hands on his hips. You could practically see the neighbours peeking out of their houses, curious to see what the commotion was about.

We ended up going to the Lodge, where I had free access of the food they served. Well, actually, it wasn't exactly me. Charlotte just had this thinking that all kids should have the chance to enjoy gourmet meals. So while the other part-time pianist played on the platform, we sat behind it, watching and exchanging jokes.

I was glad to see Alice and Jasper finally let loose. It's been awhile since I last saw them talk freely, without having to pretend they were mad at each other. They now sat side by side, happily gorging on the steak Charlotte gave us.

Eventually, when the restaurant closed, Peter and Charlotte joined us, allowing us to feast on the leftovers they had. You wouldn't believe how delicious their spaghetti bolognese tasted like, or maybe even their lemon-lime broiled chicken.

Bella and I shared a huge plate, mostly because we didn't want to make Peter and Charlotte wash too many dishes. Finally, after going for three servings, we finally felt full, and headed off for dessert.

Another good thing about the Lodge?

Their ice-cream was just _unbelievable. _Nothing can seriously compete with that.

We helped Peter and Charlotte clean the place up, making sure that there were no evidence of our time there. The other employees would feel cheated, and we certainly didn't want that. As I cleaned up the area with a mop, trying to scrub off the big blob of ice-cream which Em had tried to hit me with but failed epically, Charlotte came around, taking another mop to help clean the mess.

The others were cleaning the kitchen, helping Peter wash the pans and other kitchen utensils.

It was silent, and I was just basking in Char's sister-like glow. She always managed to seem so maternal to me. After Esme and my Momma, Charlotte would definitely take up the third place in my podium of mothers.

"You know . . . you remind me of my son." she said conversationally.

I stopped mopping.

"How-how so?" I stuttered, blinking, before picking up the pace of the mopping. Charlotte _never _talked about her personal life. I figured it had something to do with a horrible past or something.

"My son used to act exactly like you. He was always so gentle, but still hard. He was guarded, and only let the right people in. He never judged people, only listening to what they really had to say. My son . . . my son died of a motorcycle accident. And after that, Peter and I . . . we weren't able to bear any more children

"I was devastated. Just because of that stupid, drunk asshole who didn't care to see the signs properly, my son was ripped away from me. Pete and I tried, oh, we tried so _hard, _but we never managed to have any more children. My poor Peter . . . he didn't deserve this fate. I thought he'd leave me, because I _know _he was desperate to become a father.

"But he never did. Seeing you, Edward . . . it's like seeing my son brought back to life. Sure, you don't look a schmuck like him, but the way you move . . . the way you see things into perspective and take every single hardship quietly, without any fears, it makes me yearn for my baby boy. Peter feels exactly the same way, you know. It's the only reason why we've never allowed any other employee to come so close to us."

She was whispering now, mopping the little blotch Emmett had made. Eventually, she managed to clear it, and she smiled down, but her eyes retained misery.

"That motorcyclist was such an asshole," I muttered, moving over to wipe another part of the area.

"Yeah. We actually took him to court . . . but none of his time in jail brought back my son." and then I stared at her, scrutinizing her blonde hair, pulled back into a loose ponytail. Her body looked stiff, and I knew she was having trouble with revealing her past.

Suddenly, her fingers on the mop tightened, and she was shaking ever so slightly.

"My poor Charles . . . little Charles . . . only ten years old . . . why? _Why?" _she said through gritted teeth. I dropped my mop and flung my arms across Char's body, holding her as she cried. I patted her back awkwardly, but smoothly, as I revelled with her in the pain of her loss.

I can't imagine it.

Losing a child over some careless man's actions. And then knowing you wouldn't be able to have another anymore. Trying to find justice, but then not exactly finding it, because it won't bring back that person you've loved so deeply.

Just like Bella.

Just like me.

I muttered into Charlotte's shaking head, "You know . . . there's something I'm not telling you. It's the reason why I'm so good at the piano."

Char only nodded.

"I know, Edward. You-you're Lizzy's son, aren't you?"

Time froze. Literally.

How the-how the heck did she find out? I was pretty sure I'd hid all signs well enough. I didn't even mention Momma in front of them. No one knew, _no one. _Except for my siblings. Have they alerted the authorities? Did they tell them yet? Does anyone _else _know? Is that the reason why I got that scholarship for Julliard?

"How-" I began, but my voice broke.

"You look a great deal like your mom. That strange tinge of bronze . . . your green eyes . . . your nose, your mouth. All you've ever inherited from Edward Sr. is the way your face is shaped. It's masculine, hard, almost _scary. _But your mom's green eyes takes away your flaws." Charlotte informed me, leaning back to look me in the eye.

"I forgot. You were in the same high school, right?"

"Yes. But I also forgotten to tell you one more thing: I saw you, you know. Before Lizzie died, I saw you, and how hellish you looked like. Something happened with your dad, didn't it? Something horrible?"

I forced my eyes to look down. I know it's probably rude, because she just revealed to me her painful background, but I can't just tell her. Sure, I trusted Charlotte, but I can't do it.

Something in me just didn't want to say it.

"No." I gritted my teeth. "Nothing happened. I ran away. End of story."

She was quiet, and I could feel her eyes burning a hole in my head. I let her, because I didn't want to spill. Eventually, Charlotte nodded and pulled away. "I get it, you know. It's probably something you don't want to discuss. Don't worry, though. I won't tell a soul about you. Only Peter and I know that you're Lizzie's son."

I bit my lip - a habit I'd managed to pick up from Bella - and gave her a grim smile. "Thanks."

Did she hear the fervent hope in my voice?

"-ward? Edward, we're gonna head home now! Alice just passed out." Emmett's booming voice suddenly called from the kitchen, and I jumped a little.

"Er, yeah! Okay, hold on, I'll be right there." I turned back to Char and smiled, this time more genuinely, and bade her a good night.

The rest of the school days passed by quickly, if not irrevocably. Finally, summer was upon us, and I couldn't help but look forward to that excursion we were promised.

My group were a bunch of people I vaguely knew. None of my siblings were in my group, and neither was Bella. She was in Angela's group. Alice was in Em's, Rose was in Eric Yorkie's, and Jazz was with Tyler. We were all separated, but we were still happy.

At the very least, I was glad Mike Newton got kicked out of the excursion itself. I heard he was to be in Angela's group, and I'd been doing my damnedest to keep him out of it, since my Bella would be part of his group as well, but I didn't have to do much.

Newton was caught smoking in school premises, but since school was about to end, thus making a suspension no use, Principal Greene had no other choice but to kick him out of the excursion.

I know, I know, I'm evil.

But when it came to Newton, there are no boundaries.

We still had about a week before the whole excursion started, Alice was going to take us all out on a shopping expedition. She was going to bring us to Port Angeles, and despite how much I wanted to say no, I had to do it.

There probably wouldn't be another chance for me to go out with my siblings like this ever again, so I had to be thankful for every opportunity given to me.

Alice couldn't decide on what to buy (there's a first). We had no freaking idea whether Europe would be experiencing summer or winter. So we depended on UK, because we heard that it was mostly raining. Alice bought a parka, Rose bought three cardigans.

And for Bella? She bought me another green hoodie.

The one she'd bought me previously was getting worn-out. I'd been wearing it so much that the color was fading into a white; Esme had to wash it nearly all the time.

"Hey, Edward, what do you think of this?" Bella was holding up two hangers, both of them were green hoodies. The only difference was that they were in different shades of green.

From where I lounged on the floor in front of the changing room with Em and Jazz, I couldn't give a damn. All I knew was that I was bored to hell, and that Em and Jazz were ready to kill themselves if they didn't get a chance to go somewhere else.

"Quite frankly, Bella, I think they're the same." I said in a bored tone. Emmett nudged me playfully, but didn't make a sound.

"Hmph. You're no fun." Bella stuck her tongue out at me and I sighed as she turned back and headed off into the hoodies and sweaters section.

"Okay, girls! Gather 'round, gather 'round!" Alice crowed from her cubicle in the changing room. I heard Rose shuffle a little, and then she streaked as fast as she could into Alice's cubicle. Bella was walking incredulously, eyeing the room in doubt.

I cringed a little at the image of Rosalie's nearly naked self when she'd streaked. Em had all but yelled a sexual joke, while Jasper was covering his eyes, saying, "Too much information, too much information!"

As for me, I was reduced to cringing against the floor in shock.

The girls were muttering amongst themselves. I turned suspicious and wary when I caught, 'boys will be surprised!'

"Hear that?" Em ghosted closer to the changing room, but Jasper and I held him back.

"Emmett! They'll hear us!" I pushed him back and stood above him. "It seems like the girls are gonna do something weird to us, so I suggest we back out as soon as we can, yeah?"

Jazz and Em nodded and we all got ready to bolt. Just then, the curtains of Alice's cubicle drew open.

My mouth fell open with an audible _snap! _as I saw the three most beautiful girls I've ever seen. Alice was wearing a black dress, backless, and it glittered subtly in the light. It contrasted against Alice's thin and small frame, and I think I heard Jasper gasp a 'holy shit.'

Rosalie wore a crimson red dress, which was off the sleeves. It was beautiful, and it curved around her figure perfectly. She looked undeniably _gorgeous. _Emmett was having difficulty breathing.

And my Bella . . . god, I don't even know where to begin! She wore a blue dress that ended a few inches up the knees, the blue making her skin look like cream and roses. The dress was like Alice's, no sleeves, so it exposed most of Bella's creamy neck.

And, god help me, it even sported a little cleavage! Damn, damn, damn Alice!

The dress highlighted Bella's already beautiful brown eyes and mahogany hair. It made Bella look like she was glowing, and so freaking beautiful. She looked like a freaking _goddess. _

I hadn't stopped gaping at Bella. Neither were Em and Jazz, who were fixated on their own loves.

"So? What do you guys think?" Al did a little twirl, and Jasper suddenly shifted uncomfortably.

"I, uh, you look stunning." he choked, and I saw Alice grinning a little.

"Well, Emmett? How 'bout me?" Rose strolled casually to Em, batting her eyelashes at him. He only snorted and looked down, his hands clenched into fists. I knew then that he was having a little, or rather, a _major _problem somewhere down in his pants.

Oh, god. Gross.

Bella blushed adoringly, looking anywhere but my eyes. She shuffled over to where I was, and then she plopped down in front of me, dropping on her knees and leaning back on her heels. I grinned at her red cheeks before reaching forward to stroke them.

"You don't have to say a thing. You're absolutely perfect." I smiled and leaned forward to give her a quick peck on the lips.

"But what is the occasion?" I asked when I'd pulled away.

"Alice thought that we could use some formal dresses for future use. She said that we could use it for the European excursion thing." she looked up to meet my eyes and abruptly stood up.

And then she turned around, fluffing her dress and making it float all around her. "Don't you just love it? And it's just so simple! I never got to wear anything like this in Phoenix! Oh, and Alice said that the color made me look really pretty, so I figured, why not? And . . . I just really like it."

I laughed as I stood up to join her. "Yeah, I like it too."

Before I could even kiss Bella, something hit me by the side of my head. Something _hard. _

"Oi! Enough with the PDA already!" Em snarled viciously, but he was grinning. Bella blushed and hid her face in my chest. "Em, you might want to take care of your _little _problem before you can hug Rosalie like that." I taunted him, and for once, Emmett was rendered speechless.

Oh, yeah! I'm the king of come-backs!

"What? What - oh my god! Emmett!" Rose squealed in delight/disgust. She pushed Emmett away from herself and stood close to Jasper, who hadn't stopped staring at Alice.

"And you, Mr. Hale, stop eye-screwing my little sister!" I scolded him.

Jasper jumped as he turned to glare at me. "Shut up, Edward."

And Jasper, Mr. Stoic, the ultimate calm dude of my life, freaking _blushed. _I shuddered, thankful I wasn't a real mind-reader, or else the images that my brother was making up in his mind would probably scar me for life.

"Edward," Bella patted my chest, gaining my attention, "stop being such a meanie."

"Yeah! That's my lil sis, for ya!" Emmett pounded his fist in the air before coming up to slap Bella a high-five. Ugh, I swear, Em's really starting to rub off my Bella.

"By the way, Bellsy, nice boobies." he grinned.

I sucked in a deep breath.

Oh, he wants it _so_ bad.

I let go of Bella to smash myself into Emmett's surprised body, and started to get him into a headlock. I wrapped my legs around Emmett's gigantic body, gaining the upper-hand, as I locked my arms around his neck. "Stupid, stupid, Emmett!" I growled.

"Bellsy! Stop him!" Em cried out to Bella, who was blushing severely. Then she grinned and shook her head. "Nu-uh, no way. I'm going to let Edward have his way with you for today."

I grinned at Bella.

Then Emmett decided to take advantage of my momentary distraction. He grabbed my arms and pulled, making me fall over to the front. He stood up, getting ready to crush me with his weight, but then something else lunged herself at him.

I laughed when little Alice was hanging off Emmett, trying desperately to save me. "Not you too!" Em complained, swinging around in an attempt to get Alice off him. Her twinkling laugh filled the store, and the shop-assistants were staring incredulously at us. They didn't know what to make of us, and they weren't sure whether to stop the fight or not.

Alice, Emmett and I spent a good twenty minutes wrestling. Me and Alice won in the end, the Pixie managing to overpower the Beast. Rose had whipped out her lipstick to write a good 'loser' on Em's forehead, and laughed evilly when Emmett gave her the puppy-dog look.

Bella and Jasper were laughing like crazy, leaning against each other as they watched the epic show unfold.

Eventually, I let go of Emmett, and we all shrieked with laughter when he took one look at those full-body mirrors that every dress store had, and stated simply, "Oh, wow. I look so freaking _hot!" _

The truth?

He looked like shit, what with that ridiculous 'loser' sign on his forehead and the bloody-red lipstick Alice had applied to his lips. But he got hungry, and so did the rest of us, and we decided to eat at the nearby McDonald's.

To put it simply, we all ordered a Big-Mac. Well, except for Em. He ordered three.

"Man, I swear, I'm pregnant!" Rose patted her stomach lovingly. Emmett immediately leaped into conclusions. "What? Who's the father? I'm going to kill him!"

We all smiled at Rose, who stared at him evenly. "The father? Oh that's easy. His name is so common, I believe you might even know who it is."

"_Who?" _Emmett nearly growled.

Oh, god. Who knew that he could be so serious?

"Burger King," Rosalie answered and grinned at everyone else. I heard Emmett mutter a 'thank Christ!"

For another few minutes, the table was quiet. We slurped on the milkshakes happily, Bella and I sharing a huge chocolate shake. I felt Bella's hand go stiff in mine, and I turned to look at her. She was looking at me, some sort of unfathomable expression written in her eyes.

"I'm ready." she whispered.

BPOV

As I whispered the words to Edward, I knew it was the truth. I _am _ready. I'm ready to tell my little family.

I'm ready to tell them about Jacob.

His green eyes turned into liquid, and I allowed myself to draw courage and bravery from them. I took a deep breath and looked around the table, watching Emmett and Rosalie eye their engagement ring lovingly. They didn't wear it in front of other people other than Edward, Alice, Jasper and me.

Al and Jazz were sharing a bunch of french fries. They weren't looking at each other, not exactly, but then you could see that they were glancing at each other secretly. Alice was blushing a bit, Jasper was grinning a goofy grin.

"Um . . . can I tell you guys something?" I mumbled, looking down at me and Edward's intertwined hands. He squeezed mine reassuringly.

"Sure, anything Bellsy." Em said, and I could hear his curiosity in his voice.

I took another deep breath and looked up.

"Months ago . . . before I met you guys, when I was back in Phoenix, I'm not who I am now. I was always _that _girl. The one who was . . . fake. Not exactly in terms of her physical appearance, but the one who had to put up a front. And I did it so well that people couldn't see through my disguise. You and I both know that, well, I'm . . . different. People always said I looked like a goddess, and I fed on that. I made myself vain.

"Vanity engulfed me, and it clouded all sense of being rational in my mind. I was the most popular girl," I paused, and I could feel all of their eyes on me, waiting for me to continue, "I was the person every girl wanted to be, the one that . . . guys sought after."

Another deep breath and three heartbeats later, I carried on with my story.

"And, stupidly, I made up this . . . this competition, where men from my high school could fight for me. Literally _fight. _With the baseball bats, metal poles . . . everything deadly was welcomed. I'd made it up for fun, thinking no one would actually do it.

"But I was wrong. So wrong. Lots of guys came, and all of them fought brutally. They wanted the prize so badly; me. All the blood, all those poor boys who'd lost . . . and yet I found myself egging them on. It wasn't until one of my friends, a-a geek named Jacob Black . . . it wasn't until I saw him ready to fight the other remaining boy for my affections, that I pulled myself together and really _saw _the whole tragedy that was to come.

"He was going to face off with James Hunter, a . . . jock, so to say. Jacob fought really well, and I begged him to stop. I didn't want him to get hurt, because I knew in my heart that I loved him. But he didn't listen, and though I screamed really loudly, they fought on. Until . . . until Jacob fell and James . . . he . . . he stabbed Jacob in the heart.

"We'd called the ambulance, but it was no use. Jake was pronounced dead on arrival. For _months _I mourned over him. I saw the monster inside of me. I _knew _how hard it must be for his family, losing their only son. The Blacks were the most friendly people back in my place in Phoenix. They were kind, sincere. Most of all, they were a true _family." _

I was so lost in the story, and I closed my eyes, picturing Rachel's hateful face. I saw Billy Black's hard, strained face as he looked at me over Jake's coffin, nailed shut. I saw Rebecca Black, Jake's other sister, as she wept over her lost brother. Her Samoan husband stood close to her, placing his hand over the small of her back.

Alice was the one to speak first. "And then what happened?"

I opened my eyes, frightened of what their expressions would be. Will they hate me now, after they know the truth? Will they ever look at me the same way again?

And then Edward, ever my angel, whispered into my ear, "It's okay, love. It's okay."

The smooth, velvet tone of his voice sent me whirling back into my story, making me want to finish it. And I had to. I owed them this much.

"I became closed off from the world. I changed into a completely different person. I didn't talk to anyone, barely ate, because everytime I thought of poor Jacob, I would reflect on my stupid actions. I would always ask myself why I was here, and not him. The world didn't deserve a cruel, faithless monster like me.

"I'd spend most of my time in the bathroom, vomiting, because the pain of Jake's death made me absolutely _sick. _My mom made a therapist take a look at me, and she said the word, '_catatonic.' _I was frightened, because I knew then that I was so far gone that I no longer knew who I really am. Then Charlie invited me to stay with him for a few days here in Forks.

"Those three days were one of the most memorable days of my life. I've never felt so completely at ease, so _light, _before. Eventually, I decided to just move here. I was trying to run away from Phoenix, from Jacob, and I just felt so . . . haunted. Renee - that's my mom - she didn't want me to go, but she could see it was the only way for me to recover.

"And she was right. That first day in school, when I saw Edward . . . something just clicked. I didn't trust him, hell no. But something in me just wanted to open up to him. He became my first friend, the only one who ever understood the real me. And when he saw how I looked like, I was terrified he'd become like all the others before him.

"I was wrong again. Edward didn't change in his attitude towards me. I guess that's one of the reasons why I've fallen in love with him. But, even so, looking at all of you . . . I don't know if I can take it if you'll hate me. I can understand it, yes, but I don't know if-"

I was interrupted by Rosalie, who was staring at me, her face filled with unsurpassed compassion. "What are you trying to say, Bella? I won't ever hate you! Yeah, sure, you were . . . well, wrong in your actions, but it didn't mean that you meant it. Look at you now, Bella. You're different."

"Rosalie's right. How can I hate you if you're the reason why Edward has changed?" Alice nodded.

"I don't hate you, Bella. Never, ever!" Emmett boomed and smiled kindly at me.

"I second that," Jasper grinned, reaching over to ruffle my hair.

For crying out loud, these guys just love me too much.

Tears sprang into my eyes, relieved and happy. Something bitter, too, but I didn't get the chance to revel in it. I began to sob, and Edward pulled me into his chest. I could feel his lips kissing my hair.

No, I don't regret the decision to leave Phoenix. Because if I didn't, I would have never met my family. I would have never met my Edward.

Maybe I'm just deluded, maybe I'm a bit crazy. But I didn't care. I had people who really understood the real me, who wanted to be with me, who didn't find it in them to hate me. I had people who . . . by all means, _loved _me. And that was all I could ask for.

Violent happiness seemed to radiate throughout my body, making me feel like this whole thing was right from the beginning. I knew things weren't going to be perfect, but I'll start by loving them properly.

And that meant to find my closure.

I don't know how I'd do it. But I do know I'm taking baby-steps. Like that dress Edward bought for me, the one I really loved. It was on clearance, because nobody wanted it; it suited no one. But then I'd seen it, and adjusted it, and pretty soon it was all brand new.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked me, completely out of the blue.

I was quiet, thinking. "I want . . . I want closure."

And then Edward pulled me up, moving me so that I was now standing by the side of the booth we were in. I looked into his bright, shining eyes. "Really? Do you really want that?" he asked.

Unsure, I nodded. "Yeah."

He smiled and stroked my cheek. I leaned into his hand and smiled back. Without turning away from me, Edward asked, "Rose, Al, Jazz, Em . . . you guys up for a road trip?"

A road trip? What has that got to do with closure?

So I was confused, but I hardly cared. I mean, whatever Edward was going to do, I'm sure he knew what he was doing. I trusted him that much.

"Oh, hell yeah!" Emmett boomed loudly, causing people to turn and stare at us. Being the crazy teenagers that we were, we ignored them and gave them cheesy smiles.

"Oh my god, we're so going to need clothes! Ah, and boots!" Alice gushed. I could almost see her jumping up and down her seat beside Jasper, who would probably be shaking his head at Alice, giving her a kind smile.

"I'm good as long as we get to stick together," Rosalie spoke kindly, and I felt someone squeeze my free hand, which laid on top of the table.

"It's decided then. Em, we're going to take your jeep. I'm pretty sure all of us can cram inside that huge monster. We'll take turns driving, yeah? And we'll stop by occasional In N Out outlets, if that's what makes you guys happy." Edward was grinning triumphantly. What is he _thinking?_

_"_Awesome! In N Out!" Sigh, leave it to Emmett to count on the food.

"When are we going to leave, by the way? I need time to buy all the essential clothes! What if we take a road trip to Disneyland, and we end up going there in _hiking _gear? Or what if we end up at Texas in . . . _bikinis?" _Alice said in a horrified tone.

Edward's smooth expression contorted, and then he was laughing. He still hadn't taken his eyes off me yet. "Bikinis, Alice? That's hurts my man-ego!"

"Exactly what Edward - holy shit, is that a _vanilla _milkshake? Rosie! Gimme my wallet!" I laughed as I heard Emmett tackling Rose to get his wallet back. Apparently two strawberry milkshakes for him is not enough.

Em trudged forward to go and buy his milkshake while I broke my gaze with Edward. Turning to Rosalie, she sighed and shook her head. "Seriously, I wonder how he never gets fat from all the food he always eating."

Alice only shrugged. I could see the spark in her eyes, indicating that she was going to go shopping crazy once more. Then she turned to eye me speculatively. "Whatever it is you're planning, Alice, leave me out of it!" I told her, cringing into the safe halo of Edward'a arms.

"But I-" she began, but Edward cut her off.

"We're only going to need a few clothing, Al. We don't need to be debonair on this trip. I'm worried though. Will Carlisle and Esme allow this?"

"Speaking of them, Mom and Dad's going for a seminar in Seattle today. I think they're going to be gone for a few days." Jasper interjected. "I guess I forgot to tell you guys about it, what with Bella and her . . . ah, never mind. I think it'll be safe for us to have a road trip, since they're going to be gone for about five days or something."

"Thash perpweck!" Emmett called from behind me. And since I'm such a weakling, I jumped ten feet into the air once more.

Edward laughed from beside me. "What the heck are you trying to say, Em?"

"I shaid," you could practically hear the loud gulp as Emmett swallowed his drink, "'That's perfect!'"

I gave Edward the 'what-the-heck' face, and he burst out laughing again. "Emmett will be Emmett," he sighed.

"But seriously, bro. Where we heading?" Jazz asked Edward, in all seriousness.

Another moment of silence passed as we all stared at him, waiting for his answer. Somehow, some gnawing thing inside of me kept insisting the Forbidden place that I barely wanted to set foot into.

"Phoenix," Edward said firmly, eyeing me.


	20. The Start

_**Author's Note: Ahhhhhh! Oh my freaking god! I can't believe! Wait, can ****I believe it? 121 reviews for Giving My Secret Away! You guys are soooooo amazing! So SUPER MEGA ULTRA HUGE thank yous to: –MyDarkTwistedWorld- , marianna, luhexayy, fanficftw23, dvickd (Your reviews are just so intriguing! I can't help but feel so inspired after reading them! I have plans for James, but I don't know whether to put it in. I mean, CYKAS is due to come to an end soon, I think maybe a few more chapters after this. So I'm kind of thinking where to put James. Do I make a sequel? Do I**** not make a sequel? But yeah, I'll have to do something about James soon. And hopefully you'll like it. Oh, and belated happy thanksgiving to you!), MeFromMars (Oh, man! I haven't been to a 30stm show yet! I feel like I'm such a bad fan. =( Are they good whilst playing live too? I've heard that they really know how to get a crowd motivated.) Emoprincess98 (Wow, that's one busy schedule. You must be wiped out. O.O I haven't really seen a war in the mall, but that sure as hell would be entertaining to watch! =P I envy you, 'cause I'm tall, and it's difficult to maneuver around especially when it's a big sale and practically everyone is squishing against you. Ugh. I just hate those times. That's why I rarely go to the mall. *I know, I'm such a lazy ass =)* My thanksgiving was pretty uneventful. We just ate and then went to sleep. How was yours? And, yeah! I totally saw one video of the JBs and I was wondering what would happen if the security guards accidentally slip. Whoa, major breakdown! Haha, I love Phineas and Ferb! It's childish, but then I can't help myself. Disney Channel shows are soooo addictive, but then again, sometimes the shows are pretty lame. I guess that's why I watch 'em. =P Oh god, I'm babbling! So, so sorry! Thanks for your reviews, I swear, they always make my days better! Love, love, love you so much, Pixie! *I hope you don't mind me using your nickname?*) **_

_**And also, some clarifications: If you guys loved the family moments in the past few chapters, don't worry. There'll be more to come. Alice and Jasper WILL be together soon. They're just rebuilding their love, Rosalie and Emmet are still engaged, Esme and Carlisle still doesn't know about it, and Edward and Bella . . . well, they're still Edward and Bella. =) Get ready for this chapter, because you'll see Rachel Black in action! **_

_**Lastly, if you're a twi-hard through and through, hey, the review button is just down there! **_

_**So cuddle up on some pillows, get ready some munchkins, (speaking of munchkins, I'm getting pretty hungry . . .) and ENJOY!**_

_**Disclaimer: Ugh. I'm saying this for the nth time already. TWILIGHT AND MY EDWARD –okay fine, he is ****not ****my Edward –DOESN'T BELONG TO ME, but to the amazing Stephenie Meyer.**_

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

Hauling up the last duffel bag of clothes up the Jeep, I paused and wiped the sweat from my eyebrows.

You're probably wondering why the heck am I doing this shit. Don't worry, I am too. See, just a few hours ago, Em and the gang played rock paper scissors to see who had to carry all the stupid bags around. I lost.

Damn Alice and her uncanny way to somehow predict the future.

"Edward? Do you need help?" Ah, Bella. Always the compassionate person. I turned to Bella and shook my head. Her brown eyes were doubtful as they watched me tie the strings tighter to the Jeep's hood. Finally, when I'd finished triple-checking the knots, I got off from the top and jumped down.

I looked down at myself, and then groaned.

For god's sake, I just showered an hour ago, and now I'm all sweaty again! Jeez. Now I had to go through the stupid process of showering again.

"Dammit," I cursed, "I'm going to murder that idiotic brother-bear of mine, I swear I will."

"Um, no you shouldn't." Bella grinned. "And besides, I think you look better this way. You look . . . sexy."

_Bing! _some stupid bell rang in the back of my mind, forcing me to look at Bella. She was blushing and looking down at her feet. But that wasn't what I was focused on. What really grabbed my attention was one of the dress shirts that Alice had gotten for me. Bella wore it like a dress; it went down to the middle of her thigh. Underneath it, she wore a pair of skinny jeans.

I think I might _really _need to use to shower. For other purposes.

Clearing my throat, I gave her a cheeky grin. "Says the girl looking like she was freshly screwed."

My girl blushed even harder and her head flew up, her eyes lashing out at me. "Hey! I found this in your bed, and I thought I'd do it some justice! It definitely looked like it needed a day out."

I grinned again. "I love it on you, babe." And then I moved closer to her and bent my head down to give her a kiss.

If I had my way, I could be kissing Bella majority of my time with her. The drawbacks? I'd have an angry pixie, a jealous brother-bear, and two psychotic blondes behind my back.

Yeah, and you thought _you _had a weird family.

I was already pinning Bella against Em's Jeep and attacking her neck when a familiar, high-pitched voice called from behind me, "Ew! Get a room, guys! It's bad enough that I have to sit in the Jeep with Rose and Em already! Imagine all the things they did in it!"

As I pulled away from Bella, laughing breathlessly, I imagined Alice shuddering delicately. Em and Rose were active participants when it came to screwing around. _I _would know, I mean, my room is just above theirs. Thank god for the soundproof walls. It was the freaking _thuds _that I couldn't stand.

"At least you're not sitting in it alone. You've got me and Bella and Jazz. What more can you ask for? And, before you can even ask, I am _not _going to let you pick out the playlist." I told her, looking into her dark brown eyes.

She raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "But Edward-"

"No buts. I've already allowed you to bring along two duffel bags of clothes and shoes, Alice, freaking _shoes! _We're not going to Antarctica! We're only going to Phoenix!" I said, cutting her off.

My little sister glared at me as she stalked past me and Bella to get into the backseat of the Jeep. She slammed the door, and even though she tried her best to keep quiet, I could still hear her murmurings. " . . . stupid, sadistic big brother. Doesn't even care for his little sister who wants nothing but some Kesha songs."

"I can hear you, Al. Maybe you ought to keep it in your head." I called out through Em's thick glass windows.

"Edward, that's enough. Go take a shower. _I _might not mind the fact that you're all sweaty, but _they'll _be. I'll take care of Alice, I swear I will. I'll be the first one to reign in the pixie!" Bella laughed at her last sentence before pushing me towards the garage door opening to the Cullens' house.

I took a quick shower. But then again, what boy wouldn't? After that, I dressed up in one of Alice's customized clothes. She had that made a year ago. It was a normal black ensemble with the words 'I'm sexy and I know it' written in bold and white in the front.

Don't even bother asking me where she got the inspiration from. Alice was weird in that sense. Heck, she made one for everybody. But they were shamed enough not to wear 'em, probably because Rose's one said, 'I make the White Witch look like a pussy.' Em's one was simple, but good enough to summarize his character: 'Grizzly bears are my parents.'

And Jasper's? 'Aliens pwn you!'

See what I mean by peculiar?

Slipping on a fresh pair of jeans, I got rid of the mess in my room and grabbed the green hoodie given to me by Bella. Then I rushed back down the stairs, not even bothering to dry my wet hair.

The Jeep was blaring with music. And it wasn't from my playlist.

It was Ke-freaking-sha.

_Blah, blah, blah! Think you'll be getting this, nah, nah, nah! Not in the back of my car, ah, ah! If you keep talking that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah . . ._

Oh for god's sake.

"Alice!" I shouted over the annoying music. The whole Jeep was practically pumping along with the music, the window frames shaking. Bella was seated at the backseat, with Alice, as she curled up into a tight ball and covered her ears in pain. Her expression was torn between anger and resentment.

"ALICE! TURN THAT FREAKING THING DOWN!" I shouted again, this time louder. Alice's head whipped to look at me, and then she stuck out her tongue.

"Jesus! What the hell's going on here?" Emmett suddenly yelled from behind me. I turned to look at my other siblings, who wore an expression of annoyance and wonder. I shrugged at them and mouthed, "Alice."

And then I lunged myself onto the frontseat, throwing the door open and pressing the mute button on Em's stereo system.

"Hey! I was listening to that!" Al protested, slapping my hand away. "Al, come on," I chided her gently, forcing her to meet my gaze, "not everyone can love Kesha as much as you do. Now sit back, and let us play some _real _music. I'll let you play with my iPod, okay?"

God, I was talking to her like she was a kid. But she only pouted and shook her tiny head. "Fine. But if you end up with a broken iPod, I'm not taking responsibility for it."

"Whatever suits you, Al." I sighed and took out Alice's CD.

"Are all of you done? 'Cause we need to get to Bella's house and tell her dad 'bout the road trip. I don't want him thinking we kidnapped his baby girl." Emmett said, eyeing my shirt in awe. Then he grinned. "You know what, I'll be right back. Rose?"

Rose took one long look at my shirt before understanding the hidden meaning in his words. She grinned. And then the two of them, along with Jasper, raced each other back into the house to grab god's-know-what.

Minutes later, they emerged, wearing the t-shirts Alice made.

Oh, god.

I sighed and shook my head, looking up at the sky, thinking, _why are my siblings so weird? _

"Are we done with the weird stuff? Because we really have to hit the road soon, plus we still have to tell the Chief 'bout Bella." I said, somewhat exasperated. The longer we postponed this, the lesser time we had for Bella to reconnect with her past in Phoenix.

"Edward," Alice said as I got out of the frontseat and into the backseat beside Bella, "are you PMSing?"

Bella burst out in giggles and hid her face in my chest while I glared at my favorite sister. "Shut up, Al."

"Hey, I'm just saying!" she protested, her laughter like music.

In the end, we managed to get our asses out of the Cullens' garage and headed straight for Bella's house. Bella turned from a giggly pile to one huge bundle of nerves. She was afraid the Chief wouldn't allow her to go, despite my reassurances that he probably would.

As Em parked the Jeep outside of my baby girl's house, Bella and I were already out, ready to face the Chief's wrath. Alice had wanted to tag along, but I'd sort of ordered her to stay in the Jeep.

"You ready?" I whispered to her, just as we stepped onto her porch. "Yeah, I guess." she answered, looking indecisive.

"Okay, then." Kissing her forehead, I used the key from under the mat the open the door. I held it open, waiting for Bella to step in before I did.

Chief Swan must have heard our entrance, because he called out, "Bella?"

I tightened my hold on Bella, squeezing her slightly so that she wouldn't feel so scared. She was trembling a little, and I found it strange to think that she wasn't afraid of facing my scary big brother, but absolutely terrified of her own father, who gave life to her.

"Yeah, right here." she choked, barely managing to keep her shaky voice to a bare minimum. I looked down at her, seeing the familiar crease in between her eyebrows. I used my thumb to smooth that out, then I proceeded to remove her bottom lip from being chewed off by her teeth.

Her brown eyes twinkled as they looked at me, and she was silently thanking me. I gave her a small smile before turning towards the sound of Chief Swan's footsteps.

The Chief stopped a few feet away from us, leaning against the corridor's wall, eyeing the specific change in Bella's clothing. He raised an eyebrow, but didn't make a sound. Then he focused on my protective arm wound right round Bella's waist, and his fists tightened. Ah, every father's dilemma with his teenage daughter.

"What's wrong? You seem a little tense." he nodded at Bella, who was biting her lip in worry once more.

She stole one glance at me, before looking at her father. "Dad . . . I need to ask you a favor. I know it seems a bit too early, but I _really _need you to listen, okay?"

Bella stared deep into her father's eyes, making sure her point was clear, before she took a deep breath. "I need to take a trip back to Phoenix." Bella finally let out with her eyes closed. She sank deeper into my arms, and I held her tight, eyeing Chief Swan's reaction.

Anxiety, worry and concern lined his forehead as he watched his daughter in my arms. His hands were slightly outstretched, meaning that he wanted to comfort his own daughter but he didn't know how to.

"Why?" he finally managed.

I had to keep myself from interceding. This was between Bella and her father, it was none of my business.

_But you're the one who suggested taking this trip, _a part of me argued. I shook my head internally, and clenched my fists in an effort to keep my mouth shut.

"Because I need it, Dad. I need my closure. I still have to apologize to Billy and his family, especially Rachel. And my friends . . . I never got to say a proper goodbye to them. It was Edward's idea, and I thought that it was pretty good. Alice and the others already know about . . . Jacob. So I figured, if I'm ready to tell them about him, I'm probably ready to face the life I've left behind in Phoenix." she stared at her father, eyes imploring.

The Chief was quiet for awhile, then he looked at me. "Are you going with her?"

I nodded once. "Yes, sir. And so are my siblings."

He took a deep breath, his brown eyes, the exact copy of Bella's, seemed to glare deep into me, looking for anything malicious. Then he gave a timid grin. "I always knew you were right for her." he said wistfully, and I had to grin back.

"Bella, honey, would you mind letting me have a little talk with Edward here?" he turned back to Bella, and she bit her lip, unsure. "Uh, yeah. Sure?" her approval came out as a question. Bella turned to me and reached up to kiss my cheek. "I'll just go pack my bag." she told me.

"Come back to me," I told her, slightly teasing, and returned her kiss.

"Always." she whispered firmly, looking deep into my eyes. There was a hint of surpassed joy in them, and she gave me one last squeeze before trudging up the stairs.

"Why don't we take a seat in the living room, Edward?" the Chief offered, gesturing towards the room where Bella's flatscreen was.

We took our seat, facing each other, and he stared at me, mouth pursed.

Oh god, what is he going to say? Come on, Chief. I know you interrogate people, but I'm a newbie when it comes to it. Please don't give me the sex talk. Principal Greene already beat you to it about three years ago . . .

"Look, Edward, I know that you're a good guy and all, and that all you want from my daughter is her happiness. I can see that, I _know _that. I've never seen Bella this happy before. Never. But I'm going to ask you a question, son." the Chief broke the awkward silence between us.

"Anything, sir." I told him, praying to every single deity available that his question wouldn't be a tricky one. The minute I got the answer wrong, I might lose my Bella forever.

"Will you promise to keep her together, Edward? Bella's my life. She's all that I have. After Renee left with her, I wasn't the same person. And sometimes, I need _her _more than she needs _me. _You don't know how it's killed me to never see her walk her first steps, speak her first words. Sometimes I would visit her, and every single time I'd see her, she'd be different. Almost one year ago, the incident with the Black's happened, and I had to visit her, my poor daughter.

"It was hell to look at her. She was all hollow, like there was no life in her. The therapist Renee hired for her called Bella 'catatonic,' and everyday, I'd call in to see how she was doing. But everytime I did so, she was getting worst. So I offered to let her stay here for a few days. I thought that being away from all that would help her find herself again.

"And it worked, because I could see pieces of my baby returning. Now, I know you might think that this is all bullshit, but I never want to see Bella go through something like that ever again. She deserves so much better. What kind of a parent would I be if I didn't want the best for her? So I need you to reassure me that you'll never let Bella go through _that _again.

"Because this time, I have a feeling that Bella will never be able to recover if you hurt her. She loves you, and as much as I hate to admit it, you seem to love her too. Please take care of her, Edward. Right now, you're the only thing keeping Bella from becoming a total stranger to me."

I never thought of Chief Swan as the caring father. He did well in terms of hiding it, but right now, with his hands clasped together in front of him, and his eyes pleading and begging me, I could see that he _needed _me to stick with Bella.

And he was right.

I _have _to stick with her. It's the only right way left.

Steeling myself with the odd wave of determination that filled me, I said firmly, "Always, sir. Always. Bella means everything to me too. I can't imagine my life without her."

Not to mention that I die halfway every night because I don't see her beside me, fast asleep.

"Good," the Chief breathed, his posture relaxing, "good. And you can start calling me 'Charlie' now."

I grinned and nodded. "Thanks, sir. Uh, Charlie."

Bella's door slamming indicated that she was ready, and I stood up to help her with her bag. The Chief, er, _Charlie, _followed closely behind me. Bella skidded down the stairs, her hair up in a ponytail. I grinned at how breathtaking she looked, no matter how simple she kept it.

"Okay, my bag's packed, your bag's packed, let's roll!" she sounded properly enthusiastic, and when I looked into her beautiful brown eyes, I saw the tears. I realized that she was listening in, but I left it alone. Some things are better left unsaid.

As Bella and I turned for the door, my right arm carrying her bag and my left holding Bella, Charlie called out, "Wait, honey."

He reached out to hug his daughter.

I glanced behind at him, happy to see him caressing Bella in his arms like she was his little girl again. At that moment, I was glad Bella was born into a good family. Her father obviously loved her, and her mother probably did too. She had a bright future with them - oh man, Alice is _really _starting to rub off me - all she needed was just a push in the right direction.

" . . . love you, Bells. Always have, always will." I heard Charlie murmur, and Bella replied back, "I love you more, Dad. Thank you, for everything."

Up front, the Jeep honked and I scowled at their direction. Curse Emmett and the others.

Oh, wait. _Don't _curse Emmett and the others. I wouldn't want murder on my hands.

"Call me whenever you can. And make sure that Edward's brother doesn't do something I wouldn't do." Charlie pulled away to smile at Bella, and he ruffled her hair. "Go on, wouldn't want to waste anymore time now, do we?"

Bella shook her head and gave her dad one last hug.

God.

Why do I suddenly miss my own father?

I mentally shook that thought out of my head. _Easy, Masen, easy, _I warned myself, ripping my gaze away from Bella and her father. I tried to ignore the clawing pain inside of my chest, but it wasn't that easy to fight. Come on, Masen. Enough already. This is supposed to be all about Bella, not you. Get your priorities right, Masen. Get it right_ now. _

But sometimes, even the strongest have to succumb to loneliness.

* * *

><p>We were halfway to Phoenix already. Emmett managed to break a record of speeding down the highway, Jasper couldn't stop humming the Star Wars theme song, Rosalie was busy fixing her hair, claiming that the long ride in the Jeep was messing up her perfectly made hair, and Alice was trying her best with convincing those who were awake to change the playlist to Kesha songs.<p>

As for me, my head was in Bella's lap, and my legs were pathetically propped up against the side doors. See, I was seating beside one of the side doors, Bella was on my right, Alice on her other side, Rosalie beside Alice, and Jasper was sitting with Emmett in the frontseat.

Like I said, Em's Jeep was _huge. _

Bella's hands were playing with my hair, but I was already falling asleep. The warmth that radiated from Bella seemed to lull me gently, and her hands were massaging my aching head. I'd somehow gotten a headache from all of the drama that enfolded in the Jeep, and I guess my girlfriend decided to help ease my oncoming sickness.

My Bella shifted slightly, and then she bent down to lean her forehead against mine. My eyes were closed, and they felt too heavy to open. Bella rested her head against mine. Her arms cradled my head. Pretty soon, her breathing evened out.

She was asleep.

I grinned, and let myself fall into my nightmares.

* * *

><p>"-ward! Oh, rise and shine, fearless brother of mine! Dang, that freaking <em>rhymed! <em>I rock, man!" Emmett's loud voice was booming like crazy, and it was punching my head inside out. The sound echoed off the walls of the Jeep, making it seem louder.

Ugh, Jesus.

Bella groaned against my face. Apparently, she was still sleepy as well.

I rubbed my face against hers and she moved away. I popped one eye open, glared at the Jeep's ceiling, and then sat up.

My back cracked.

My neck was stiff.

My arms and legs were numb.

God, what the heck happened to me overnight?

"Nngh," Bella groaned again from beside me. I looked down to her sleepy face, and it was contorted. I touched her cheeks before kissing her forehead and gently lifting her so that she was seated on my lap. By then, I was seating upright, so that didn't prove to be much of a problem.

Bella curled into my chest, making herself into one little ball. She buried her face in my neck and inhaled deeply.

"Wakey, wakey, my sister Bellsy! Damn it, dude! I totally _rule _at this!" Emmett boomed again from behind the wheel.

"Emmett!" I hissed, chastising. "Bella's sleeping! Leave her alone, will you? Oh god, I think I need a breath mint." I sniffed, trying to find out what the putrid smell was, and quickly realize that it was freaking _onions. _

What were onions doing in the Jeep?

That's when I saw an empty take-away bag of Burger King. No, make that four bags. There were another two more bags that laid unopened, and I assumed that it belonged to me and Bella.

"We got hungry after five o'clock in the morning. So we stopped for awhile. Emmett needed gas, and we needed to eat. But you and Bella looked so comfy that we totally decided not to wake you up. Well, it's ten now. So Em though he'd wake you guys up. We're almost there, by the way. About another twenty more miles." Rosalie informed me, shaking her blonde hair at Alice, who grinned evilly.

She waved something broken and metallic in her hands.

"Al . . ." I gasped, looking at my broken iPod. "What the hell?"

"What? I didn't say I wouldn't break it. You got what you deserved for not letting me listen to Kesha." she pouted at me, then grinned. "I love you too, big bro. Now eat your burger. It's almost five hours since it's stayed there."

I sighed and rubbed my forehead. Then I locked my arms around Bella's sleeping form and kissed her cheek. "Bella, love. It's time to wake up. We've been asleep for nearly twelve hours."

"Dunwanna," she slurred, curling in tighter against me. I chuckled once, and then there was a clicking of a camera. I turned towards Alice, who was smiling widely. "We all need memories." she informed me, snapping another picture of me and Bella. She turned to the front and took a picture of Em and Jazz, before taking one of Rose and herself.

I smiled at them before turning back to my sleeping girlfriend.

"Baby, it's pass ten. You should eat something. Besides, we're almost there." I told her.

"Ten?" she asked, her eyes still closed.

"Ten." I answered back and, unable to resist myself, kissed her cheek again. Her brown eyes opened reluctantly, and she peeked at me through her thick eyelashes. I hugged her tighter, reveling in her warmth, before reaching forward to grab a breath mint from the little plastic bag that protruded out of the little pocket of the driver's seat.

I popped that in, and then added another one.

When I was done, Bella was grinning at me.

"What?"

"Nothing. You're just cute when you think you have bad breath." she giggled and shifted forward to reach for our burgers. "I _know _I have bad breath." I replied, shaking my head.

"Whatever, Edward. Hey, how did we get to Phoenix so fast? I thought it'd take one whole day or something." she looked around at the desert, taking in the cactuses and the desert plants. Light streamed through the dark, tinted windows, causing the whole Jeep to be lighted up.

You'll rarely see this in Forks, that's for sure.

As Bella and I ate, Em and the others were bickering. They were unfamiliar to this territory and had to rely on Bella's memory to get to us to her old house. When we passed by her old ballet studio for the sixth time, she finally recognized the house a few blocks away from it.

It was her childhood home.

And, god help me, it looked like it came from a freaking _dream. _Everything you'd picture a nice, tiny house would look like, it was the exact extract of Bella's former home.

My old home used to look _exactly _like this.

God.

Hiding my fears will be difficult now.

BPOV

There's nothing more scary than watching your present settle themselves into your past.

I can't believe how easy and comfortable Edward and the rest of his - I mean, _our - _family seemed to fit in with my old house. We were all going to sleep in the living room, because my room was too small, and Renee and Phil's room had some stuff I didn't want them to see.

Like sex toys and Cosmo magazines.

See? If Em ever caught a glimpse of them, I'd be doomed. I'll never hear the end of it. Plus, it would be really awkward if my mom and him ever meet each other. Em's mouth was something that you could never control. Unless you're Superman.

So maybe Edward's the only person who can control him, since my boyfriend seems to be completely invincible.

"Wow, Bella. You should really wear this stuff." Alice sang and danced into the living room, flopping down on the futon beside me. She waved something unrecognizable at me, and when I looked closely, it was the black nightgown that my mom had gotten for me two birthdays ago.

Let me just say that it was a nightgown that left _very _little to imagination. I was embarrassed to be seen holding that thing back then, and I'm even more embarrassed to be the laughing stock of my little family now.

Edward was tensed on my other side. He sat cross-legged, holding my hand. He cleared his throat, and I bet he was looking away. I would know, because I'd sneaked a glance at him.

"Um, no, Alice. I really shouldn't."

"Come on, you'll look really pretty! Plus, the tags read Victoria's Secret! Don't let something like this go to ruins! It's too big for me, too small for Rose, and heaven knows Jasper won't be able to fit in it."

"Hey!" Jazz protested from Alice's side. His usually calm eyes were teasingly furious.

"Please, Bella? Just wear it around us. I bet Edward'll get a kick out of it too! _Please?" _she begged, pouting.

Oh my god. She'd already pulled that off earlier, almost exactly one day away from today, when I'd tried to convince her that it wasn't such a bad idea to listen to Edward for once and not play Kesha.

Seriously, while pop music might be good, nothing kills a road trip more than suckish songs.

"You already used that on me once, Alice," I reminded her, tapping her little nose, "and I don't want it again. I am _not _going to walk around in something really skimpish _especially _in front of my boyfriend."

"I think it's a great idea. You'll look nice in it, babe." Edward's velvety voice whispered in my ear huskily, and I drew back to look into his suddenly darkened green eyes. "Ooh, Edward's getting horny!" Emmett boomed, making me turn to glare at him.

He only waggled his eyebrows mischievously.

"Shut up, Emmett." Edward growled, but it came out really awkwardly. His arms held me loosely, which was a first for him. He hardly ever holds me that loose. It made me want to demand for him to hold me tighter.

Em cackled evilly before turning to the old, decrepit TV that I owned. It was old, but thank god for it's cable, otherwise Emmett would have never survived. Plus, it was keeping him entertained. A bored Emmett would only result to everyone's brains being exploded from all his annoying comments.

He can be sweet, caring and the ultimate big brother. But most of the time, he was just like a kid; loud and so freaking demanding.

"So it's decided! You'll wear this for the night, Bella!" Alice clapped and threw the nightgown at me. I snatched it from the ground, but Edward grabbed it from my hands afterwards. He unfolded it and held it up in front of him, eyeing it speculatively.

"Hmm," he seemed to be contemplating, "I approve."

I laughed once and took it from him. "Whatever Edward wants, he gets." I teased before standing up to give him a kiss on the cheek. "But I'm wearing your shirt over this, though. There's no way I'm going to let Em-"

A loud snore interrupted me then, and I followed the direction of the noise.

Emmett was fast asleep with Rose in his arms. They seemed to be sleeping the sleep of the dead as they curled in around the futon I'd given them. We were all sleeping side by side, so all I had to do was look towards my left. Jasper was lying down, facing Alice, but his eyes were half-closed. He was probably waiting for Alice to fall asleep, too.

I forgot that they stayed up pretty late. They must have been exhausted.

"Apparently, the bear has decided to start his hibernation." Edward grinned and held me tighter. "Go, love. I wanna see how it looks like on you. Besides, Alice is going to pass out in about six seconds. So your only audience is me."

"Don't tempt me, Mr. Cullen." I giggled and got off to get changed.

When I'd finished changing, and timidly stood behind the wall covering the living room, I peeked out so that only my head was visible from where Edward was seated, still crossed legged. He now had his arms folded though, and the numerous pillows I'd distributed to the now sleeping couples were placed behind his back. He cocked one eyebrow, and I could see the curiosity in his brilliant green eyes.

I hid behind the wall again and took one unnecessary deep breath. Then I stepped out and had the satisfaction of watching Edward's eyes pop out of his head. I did a pirouette and posed against the wall, one hand flying to my hip and the other against my head.

"How is it?" I asked, and my voice stupidly broke.

Edward's face was still in shock. He seemed totally immobile.

Grinning because I knew that I was the only one who could get these kind of reactions from him, I plopped down on his lap and gave his neck one kiss. I moved higher, kissing every exposed skin I could find.

Suddenly, I was on fire, because I found myself straddling Edward on the futon. He had his arms locked tightly around my waist, his hands splayed wildly on my hips. We were kissing so deeply that my skin heated up.

This is probably the second time I'm going to get carried away. God, Edward was just too great a distraction.

His lips moved south, kissing the skin that was revealed through my nightgown. His hands were now fisted on my thigh, holding multiple strands of the lacy gown. I giggled a bit, but tugged his face back to where I could kiss his lips.

I was having difficulty breathing, and we tried to keep quiet because of our sleeping friends, but it was almost impossible not to make a noise.

And I could feel that Edward wanted me. Not only through his pants, but through his deep, hungry kisses that sent the butterflies in my stomach fly around in near frenzy.

"People are sleeping here . . ." Alice suddenly mumbled.

Edward's warm lips, perched directly over my pulse point, froze.

I froze as well.

And then he pulled away, cheeks a tinge of red. His ears though, were almost the exact shade of my now burning cheeks and neck. I gave him a grin, unabashed, and watched as his eyes narrowed.

"You little tease," he growled playfully before nuzzling my ear with his mouth.

"You were the one who wanted to see my nightgown." I reminded him, using the same tone I'd used on Alice earlier.

"Yes, I am. And I don't regret it. You look absolutely beautiful, not to mention hot, and extremely sexy. I might need a cold shower tomorrow." he gave me a kiss on every word he used to describe me, and I didn't pull back.

"Smooth-talker." I accused him. He only chuckled and leaned me back so that I was lying down. "Sleep, my beautiful girlfriend. You're probably tired."

Dang. He's good.

His voice was the last thing I remembered lulling me to sleep, and I fell into brilliant dreams of a breath-taking meadow, Edward himself . . . and nightgowns.

The morning came, making me realize that it was day one of 'moving on.' I could hear Edward moving around in my kitchen, making us breakfast. The rest of our family were fast asleep, though. Blinking up at the ceiling, I remembered the events from last night, and blushed as I recalled Alice catching me and Edward in our heavy make-out session.

I shifted slightly before sitting upright. I looked around me and was happy to see little Alice wrapped around Jasper's sleeping form. He was smiling in his sleep.

Rose and Emmett were curled around each other, looking like they didn't move a single muscle from the time they'd fallen asleep. The futons were all in a mess, but I couldn't give a damn. Standing up, I managed to stretch a little, my nightgown riding up my thighs. Then I shivered and shuffled over to where Edward's t-shirt was.

It said, 'I'm sexy and I know it.' In my opinion, that is so true. Edward could possibly be the sexiest man alive. Even his back was just too . . . drool-worthy. Trust me, I've seen it enough times to make me want to rip his shirt off everytime I see him.

I picked the shirt up and grinned. Then I headed towards the bathroom and got changed into Edward's oversized shirt. I wore it like a dress again, and I got out a pair of shorts to match. I pulled the shirt over my head and inhaled the strong, intoxicating scent that was one hundred percent Edward.

After my whole bathroom ordeal was done, I padded over to the kitchen and leaned against the counter, watching my boyfriend move around silently, not noticing that I was just behind him. He was humming along to some unrecognizable tune, nodding his head along with the music. He looked so at ease and serene that I almost forgot about the fact that he wasn't wearing a shirt.

Almost.

Edward in almost all of his glory was absolutely unbelievable. He had the perfect abs any girl would drool after, the sculpted chest that looks like he should be on a fitness magazine, and his freaking _biceps. _Edward was just so . . . perfect. Surely there had to be a flaw to him, right?

Yeah, there _is _a flaw; his scars.

The patterns of the hideous scars were barely illuminated in the sunlight, which streamed in through the window facing the sink towards my right. It highlighted his normally bronze hair, making it shine. But that wasn't the only thing that the sunlight highlighted.

You could see every single scar of his so clearly, you could feel it in your bones. The deepest scar ran along the entire length of his spine. It was a long line, looking as if someone had cut through his back. I winced, knowing that it wouldn't be so far from the truth.

I walked slowly towards him. Then I placed my hand on the small of his back and traced his scars, feeling the little bumps. I proceeded to fling my arms around his waist before burying my face in his back. Even bare-chested, Edward smelled _fantastic. _He didn't need any cologne. His scent came au-natural.

"Morning." I greeted him, my voice muffled.

"Good morning, love." he greeted back and reached around to pull me towards his side. He guided my chin up, and looked deep into my eyes. There was a hint of faint sadness, which shadowed his usually cheerful brow. But he hid it, and was smiling again in no time.

"What's the agenda today?" I asked him, eyeing the omelets he was making hungrily.

"I thought that maybe we could see the Blacks? I think it would be a good thing to start with them first." he admitted, looking sheepish.

"You didn't put a lot of thought into this, did you? Lie to me if you did."

"No, Bella. I would never lie to you. I did think of it, but it would only be fair for you to gain closure by facing Rachel Black first."

I nodded. He was right.

We waited for the others to rouse from their sleep. They'd been so tired from the trip that Emmett had to scarf down five servings of omelets before slowing down. He even finished two whole cartons of milk.

Don't ask me where we got all the food, because I have no idea either. I was just going with the flow.

We'd informed the others that we were going to the Black's first, and I'd asked them if it was okay for them to come with me. I needed moral support, and they were the first people I thought of. Edward and his siblings were already my family. It would kill me if I didn't have them by my side.

The time came when I found myself clutching at Edward's hand, taking cautious breaths, standing in front of the Black's door. My stomach was churning up my breakfast, and multiple times, Edward had asked if I wanted some medicine to help me calm down.

I'd told him no.

I needed to do this. Don't be a coward, Bella. Let the Blacks hear your story.

And then I rang the doorbell.

_Da-dum, da-dum, _my heart beat hyper-actively. I was beginning to hyperventilate. You know the feeling of your whole neck heating up because you're worried or nervous? Well, I was having one of those feelings now, and I didn't know whether or not I'd be able to go through with this.

The door opened, and I was face-to-face with Rachel Black, the girl who hated me for being the cause of her brother's death.

Rachel's normally full, circle face now looked . . . hideous. I didn't recognize the girl anymore. Her black eyes, shaped like Jacob's, were wide with shock as her eyelashes fluttered against her cheekbones, which was now the main highlight of her face. Her eyes were all bloodshot and beneath them, there were dark circles.

Her nose was red and running slightly, her cheeks were flushed and wet. Even her hair was lanky.

With shock, I realized that this was exactly how I looked like when Jake first died.

"_Isabella? _What-what are you doing _here?" _she gasped, and her eyebrows furrowed. Then they turned into one straight line as she glared at me.

I hid away from her hateful glare, her black eyes penetrating through me. They were filled with so much hatred and pain that I _knew _I'd have to live far longer to ever understand the pain in Rachel's eyes.

"I wanted . . . I wanted to talk to you and your family." I stammered, unable to meet her gaze.

Rachel spat, "Looks like you've found a replacement for my brother. Tell me, how easy was it to get rid of him? What did you bribe this asshole here to get him to be with a monster like _you?" _Her last sentence cut through me like several knives, and the tears began to form in my eyes.

Edward's hand, intertwined with mine, clenched as he said menacingly, as evenly as he could, "First of all, she didn't bribe me. I fell in love with her, and she, albeit reluctantly, fell in love with me too. Second of all, she is _not _a monster. Because if what you said was true, then you'd never find her standing here in front of you, wanting to apologize and _speak _to you for what she did. _You _are the monster, a heartless demon who doesn't even want to listen to her point of view."

"No, Edward," I whispered, squeezing his hand and rubbing his tense arm. His green eyes were sparking with madness, and even _I _was frightened of the images I saw in them. Something about Edward then made me really fear him.

He knew what it was like to face a real monster. I didn't.

"Oh, please," Rachel hissed. "You think you're being the knight in shining armor, but really, you're not."

"You don't know that," Edward growled, but there was hesitation in his voice.

"Do you?" she bit back.

He was quiet, eyeing Rachel's tired face, alight with anger and animosity. She was the first one to break the silence. "You don't know what it's like," she turned to me, "to lose a brother. It's biting at you each day, and everytime I see your face, hear your name, it just makes me want to _slap _you. Seeing you now, how you can be so fucking happy when my brother is six feet under, it makes me fucking _mad." _

"I _never _meant for it to happen, Rachel." I told her, trying to let her listen to me.

"You're just a conceited bitch who wants nothing more in life than to curse people to a lifetime of pain. I _lost _my brother because of you. If you think you can talk to me and make me see that you meant absolutely no harm, then I'm sorry. I _will not _listen. There is nothing you can do to bring _him _back."

Rachel's face was so livid that I was at a lost for words. I cowered from her gaze, the tears already falling. "I'm sorry," Edward whispered so quietly that only I could hear, "I'm so sorry. I never should have subjected you to this."

That's when I found the courage. _Edward _shouldn't be apologizing. _I _was the one who should.

I opened my mouth, deciding to make Rachel Black listen to me, no matter if she liked it or not. But just then, an old man in a wheelchair rolled through the door and stopped beside Rachel.

Me and Edward stood, side by side, as I stared at Billy Black's wizened face.

Billy looked like the spitting image of Jacob, only older. Looking at Billy, I felt like I was seeing two people. The old man in the wheelchair, and the person behind him, pushing his father around. I bit my lip, but my tears came back with a vengeance.

I felt sick, so sick. My heart thudded painfully in my chest, and I suddenly felt the fault line in my heart ripple, making me feel like there was a huge hole in my ribs. I felt like everything was too compressing, making it difficult for me to breathe.

"Billy," I choked out. Edward rubbed my back soothingly, his fists once again in tight balls.

"_Billy." _I cried out again, my tears falling immensely now. "I'm s-so sorry, Billy. S-so s-s-sorry." The words were all jumbled as I tried to get them out as fast as I could.

And then Jacob's father surprised me by saying, "Dearest Bella," and opening his arms wide enough for me to hug him. I gaped at his arms before throwing myself at them. Billy felt like a second father to me as he rubbed my back exactly like how Edward would.

"Ssh," he hushed me, "it's alright. Everything will be alright."

Why was Billy comforting me? _I _was the reason why his son was dead.

"Dad!" Rachel gasped. "Why?"

She was appalled, and so was I. I didn't pull away from Billy though, and my arms were still locked around his body. I was kneeling down in front of him, inhaling his familiar scent. Billy smelled of tobacco and mint and the woods. Exactly like how Jake did.

Billy didn't reply his daughter, only rubbing my back soothingly.

And I didn't stop crying.

"Let's go in, Bella. I would like to talk to you, too." he told me. I heard the sincerity in his voice, only kindness evident in it. Pulling away to gaze into his eyes, I couldn't see anything but his heart in them.

"O-okay," I stammered again and stood up awkwardly. I felt so exhausted, my knees giving out, and thanked god for Edward.

He caught me before I could fall flat on my face. He kissed my hair and gave me an encouraging smile.

And then I knew that it _would _be alright. Especially with him by my side.

We trudged into the Black's household, ready to face whatever was going to be thrown at us.


	21. A Family's Loss

_**Author's Note: Oh. My. Freaking. God. Thank you guys so much for pushing CYKAS to the 127 review mark! So SUPER MEGA ULTRA HUGE GIGANTIC thank yous to: MyDarkTwistedWorld (Hehehe, caps lock SURE IS AWESOME~), MeFromMars (I really can't wait to go to a 30stm show! What was their set-list for the show they went on? Did they play Kings And Queens? That song has to be my most favorite, even though their earlier songs from when they first arrived on the scene was pretty good, I think their newer songs hold more meanings to them. Oh god, I'm hogging up the space. Sorry! D=), luhexayy, AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234, dvickd (Yeah, I've actually read some stories where Charlie doesn't really want to accept Edward, and I thought, hey, why not make this story . . . different? I really wanted to let the readers see that Charlie isn't like a sideline here in this story. As for Rachel . . . well, I suppose she will get over her anger and hurt emotions eventually. But as of now, she views Bella as a monster for being the cause of Jacob's death. Jeez, even though I'm the author of this story, I can't help but want to slap Rachel myself. =P And before I forget, *gives an air-kiss* That's for the kiss you gave at the end of your review. Haha, sorry, I'm a bit mental today. =D), and Mrs. Haley Lautner (I'm so glad you enjoyed it. =) I've also noticed that you've reviewed my other story, so thank you for reviewing this as well!) **_

_**Finally, if you've ever wished that Edward was your boyfriend, feel free to leave a review! **_

_**So huddle up on that seat, grab some munchkins, and ENJOY! **_

_**~Serene. **_

_**P.S. I've created a new story. It's called The Beginning Of After. Please give it a chance! 'Cause I myself find it quite . . . enticing. xD And also, I know this chapter was a little short, but please, please, please forgive me! **_

**_Disclaimer: Twilight will never belong to me. Period. _**

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

You've just got to love Billy Black.

As Bella and I walked in through the door of the Black's house, I couldn't help but sneak a look around. It seemed fairly cozy, but nowhere near as comfortable as any other normal house would be. Pictures of the Blacks lined the walls, but I didn't get to see any pictures of Jacob.

I knew how he looked like. Bella had shown me a picture of him.

If they loved Jacob so much, where were the pictures?

"Take a seat, Bella, and um . . . ?" Billy Black looked at me questioningly. His daughter, Rachel, glared at the floor behind him. He wheeled himself opposite a low coffee table sitting in front of a fireplace. Why would someone living in sunny Phoenix need a fireplace for? It wasn't as if the winter here was teeth-chattering.

"Edward," I introduced myself, tightening my hold on Bella. She shifted to lay her head on my shoulder, making a wet spot on my sleeve. I couldn't care less though. So what? Only Alice would be disappointed.

My siblings were all in the Jeep outside, waiting for me to give them the signal when things were going to go out of hand. It wasn't me who'd made them wait there; it was Bella. She didn't want to cause raised assumptions with the Blacks.

"Okay then. Take a seat Edward." Billy gestured to the couch, and Bella and I moved over. Rachel glanced up and scowled as she heard the springs in the couch squeak, but other than that, she kept quiet.

It was freakishly quiet for a long time. Bella kept on crying soft sobs that broke my heart. My stupid hands did nothing to soothe her.

"I'd just . . . I'd like to ask, Bella, why did you . . . why did you do _that _to Jacob?" Billy was having trouble fragmenting his question.

"I-I d-don't know. I think . . . I think I w-was just stupid a-at that t-time. I d-didn't t-think of the con-consequences. I-I thought it was j-just some pointless g-game to others. I didn't w-want a-anyone to get h-hurt. Es-especially Jake." Bella was stuttering, and I could barely understand what she meant. I looked down at her red, regretful face and brought my hands up to wipe her wet cheeks.

Her chocolate brown eyes were in pain.

I couldn't bear to look at them.

"Bella . . . I don't blame you." Billy Black said softly, kindly.

Okay, wait. Rewind.

_"Bella . . . I don't blame you." _the echo of Billy's voice replayed in my head.

Whoa.

So I wasn't daydreaming.

"What? Dad, she-" Rachel's annoying voice got interrupted by her father. I gave her a dirty look, remembering the argument that she'd presented me just now. I'm not one of those assholes who'd like to pick a fight with a girl, but no one, and I repeat, _no one, _is allowed to hurt my Bella or judge her without knowing what her real character is. I'd been inches away from slapping that girl's face if not for Bella.

"Rachel, that's enough. This wasn't Bella's choice in the first place. It was Jacob's."

"You don't understand, Dad. _She _may look like the innocent little bitch, running around, feeding on the attention given to her, but the truth is, she's just using us, Dad! She's using you like how she used _Jake! _And if that's not enough, look at the fucking asshole holding her right now! If she really, truly, loved Jacob, she would have _never _found another guy to love! It would have always been about Jake, and only him!" Rachel screamed, her words touching me like venom.

I'm going to say this only one more time.

_No one _speaks about Bella like that ever. Especially not in front of me.

_Yes, yes, that's right! Let your inner protector defend your girl! _the monster inside of me goaded, but another tiny, little annoying voice whispered, _but what if what Rachel is saying is right? _

_Don't doubt your girlfriend, asshole! Defend her now! _

_But Rachel may have a point! _

_Shut up and kiss my ass, conscience. _

_Why you little- _

I had absolutely no idea where the voices were coming from, and why the heck were they fighting inside my own brain? But it didn't matter, because I listened to the first voice and opened my mouth to verbally abuse Rachel. She was not going to get away this time. And no one was going to stop me. Not even Bella, whose hands tightened on my arm warningly.

"For your information, _Rachel," _I spat, "Bella _was _reluctant. In fact, when I first saw her, she was at the lowest point possible. She isolated herself, shied away from all forms of attention possible. She didn't go around gloating that she'd held a competition whereby boys fight for her, and one of them died. No, instead, she spoke in freakish whispers, and she barely even looked up.

"It was like freaking _hell _for her Rachel. You think you have it hard, but Bella has it even harder! What do you think you will feel if the love of your life died because of you? Died _for _you? Guilty, right? Well, Bella's guilt was only intensified when you went around calling her names and sending her hate mails! I saw them, Rachel. And they're all bullshit.

"You think that you're in the right, and maybe you _are _right. But Bella's taking a step towards closure and you should learn to appreciate that. Only a true monster would never have attempted to apologize, so look at you now. Who's the monster now?"

I was never this angry before.

All I could see was red.

I held back the words _bitch, fucking retard, _and _fuckwit _from exploding in my mouth. I could have a very expletive mouth if possible, but I never use them anymore.

Rachel Black spoke nothing, eyeing my arms around Bella. Her gaze softened for a mere fraction of a second as she registered my words, but then she hardened it, looking away.

But it wasn't fast enough.

I saw the tears already making their way down her cheekbones.

"Rachel, get our guests some drinks, honey." Billy Black said much later, through Rachel and Bella's quiet cries.

She sighed and took off like a bat from hell, heading into a room of what I assumed was a kitchen. Bella relaxed a little in my arms, but she never stopped the tears. I began to get a little worried. What if she got sore eyes later?

"I'm sorry, Bella, Edward. Rachel is just . . ." Billy trailed off, looking into the distance.

"Paranoid? Over-reacting?" I offered bluntly. Bella hit my shoulder but I could feel her tiny smile on my sleeve. Billy chuckled, but then sighed. "No, not really. I suppose 'hurt' is a better word. But who can blame her? She adored her brother, and her bond with Jacob was really deep, unlike my other daughter, Rebecca."

"How is s-she co-coping?" Bella asked Billy through her sobs.

"Alright, I guess. She stopped calling awhile ago. I think she got tired of Rachel's rantings about you, and maybe she wanted to get away from me as well. I wasn't a very good father to them. I should have taught them better-" he got interrupted by my girlfriend, who glared at him passionately.

This time, she didn't stutter in her words.

"How can you say that, Billy? You're a great father! You raised Jake and Rachel and Rebecca up really well! Even without their mother, even if you're wheelchair bound, you still did an amazing job! Ask Edward, I'm sure he knows what a real father really is!"

Billy and Bella turned to me and I felt my ears grow hot with embarrassment.

"Edward?" Billy asked, curiosity in his voice. I gulped.

"My father abused me when I was younger-"

"What?" Billy interjected, his black eyes wide with disbelief. I only nodded and swallowed. "Yeah. So what Bella is saying is right. I know what it means to know a true father, and you're doing an amazing job. I'm very sorry for your loss, sir."

Bella gave me a timid grin, and she huddled closer to me, pressing her warm body to my side.

She was comforting me, telling me it was okay.

But there was no way in hell I was going to explain my past to someone who I met just thirty minutes ago.

"Well . . . thank you, son." he nodded, and I thought I heard the hesitation in his voice.

Someone set two cups of hot tea on the coffee table in front of me. I didn't dare to touch it, wary that Rachel might have spat or added poison in them. Bella didn't look at them, biting her lip in worry.

"Billy," Bella took a deep breath, "Rachel, I came here not looking for a fight-"

"_Not looking for a fight, _my ass." Rachel spat, giving Bella a glare.

My baby girl straightened up, somewhat finding confidence. She matched Rachel's glare evenly, emotionless, as she continued flawlessly, "I came here to say sorry to your family. All of them, including Jacob. Before I met Edward, before all of this happened, I was already in love with Jacob Black. It was only stupidity that made me create that competition. You don't know how much I regret it . . ."

Bella trailed off, but then picked up soon after.

_That's my girl. _

"But the love that Edward and I share . . . it's something more than I felt for Jacob. Even if I didn't create that competition, even if Jacob and I were together, I would give it all up just to find _him," _she snuggled closer to my side, sending jolts of buzzing running on my arm, "and because of this, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for Jake's death.

"The truth is, I really do miss him, and a part of me is still with him. This is the reason why I went with Edward's plan to come back here and find my-" Bella closed her eyes, "_closure. _I know that saying sorry won't bring him back, but Rachel," she spoke to Jacob's sister now, "hating me won't bring him back either. I know for a fact that Jacob wouldn't like to see you hurt like this-"

"You don't _know _him. You don't know anything." Rachel interrupted, her black eyes glinting with anger once more.

Bella looked down at the floor, before looking back up at Rachel's hateful eyes. "But I do, Rachel. I really do. He spoke of you like you're his world, did you know that? Every single time I met up with him, he was always talking about you, saying how glad he was that he had you for a sister. He loved you, way more than he loved me, and I think that's why you're mad at me, because he died for me.

"At the very least, Jacob died knowing he had a loving family. I wouldn't exactly tell you that he died peacefully, but do you know what he said to me, even as I sat there, with his head in my lap?"

I was stunned. Bella _never _told me this part of the story before.

Neither did Rachel, because she leaned in unconsciously.

"Jacob told me, '_Tell Rach that I love her. Tell her that I made my decision. Tell her to be happy.' _That's what he said. He didn't say he loved me, Rachel, he chose to say that he loved _you _in the end. I know that I deserve more severe punishment than this, and if you still hate me, I'm alright with that. I just wanted to tell you that Jacob really does wish for you to be happy. And I'm sure that he's watching us right now. I'm sure that he's somewhere up there, reading his Spiderman comics, and looking down at us, chortling, because that's what he always does."

This was the first time I've ever heard Bella speak freely about Jacob before. Her beautiful brown eyes were assuring, speaking the truth. You couldn't doubt the sincerity behind them, and through her wide brown eyes, I could see Jacob Black's last moments.

Holy shit.

My girlfriend can be a freaking philosopher.

Rachel and Billy were quiet. Billy was smiling gently at Bella, and in his hands, he held a photo-frame. It contained a little boy with the same skin color as he did, and a little girl. The little boy was holding hands with another little girl as a younger looking Billy sat behind them in his wheelchair. All of the children were grinning, the little boy showing off an empty, irregular square space right at the front of his teeth.

The little boy was Jacob, and the little girl he was holding hands with was Rachel.

Brother and sister.

"He moved on to Superman." Rachel mumbled, looking down, her tired black eyes softening as she slumped down another chair beside her father.

"He did?" Bella asked, surprised.

"Yeah. He was still hung up on Spiderman though. But I think he preferred his X-Men series the best."

I fought to keep a smile from breaking out. There was still a hint of bitterness evident in Rachel Black's hoarse voice, but she couldn't help but give a timid smile at the photo-frame that Billy was holding.

"Jacob loves you too, you know. He'll always love you. But I think he'll love you in the right way now." Rachel continued. She looked up to give me another small smile, then her eyes zeroed in on my arms around Bella.

I looked down at my girlfriend, who was beaming in exuberance. I couldn't help but smile, too. She was just too cute.

Oh, no. Here I go again with corny thoughts.

"Thank you, Bella. Thank you, Edward. For coming today. I think we all needed that talk." Billy smiled at Bella and I. He glanced at Rachel, who sighed and leaned her head against her father's shoulder. "My son will always be remembered. But you're right, Bella. He _is _up there, watching us, waiting for us."

"Dad. Enough with the corny talk. We're through with that, okay? I don't know about you, but I've missed eating at Mickey D's." Rachel said in a light tone.

"Order me a Big Mac, will you?"

"Uh-uh. No way. The doctor said you're not allowed to eat too much greasy food now. I may be over Jacob's death, and I _might _start to forgive Bella, but I'm sure as heck not going to allow you to follow in Jake's footsteps that fast. You're going to stick around for much longer, whether you like it or not. Now where the fuck is that phone? I'm going to kick Reb's ass for not being here with us."

I chuckled along with Bella. Getting the impression that Rachel really might be forgiving Bella, I don't think she'll get over her foul mouth. My ears seemed to have been branded with so much profanities. Rachel could give Emmett a run for his money.

"Now, now, Rachel. Don't be too harsh on Rebecca." Billy disapproved, shaking his head at Rachel.

"Whoa, wait. Does this mean that I can still kick her ass, but not too hard?"

This time, Billy and the rest of us burst out laughing. Rachel chuckled quietly, but that was the first stepping stone. I think.

"Yes, Rach. Kick your sister's ass. But please don't send her all the way to Antarctica. But before that, could you call McDonalds? I'm starting to get hungry too." her father rubbed his belly, unabashed.

As Rachel and Billy reached for a phone each, I turned to Bella. And then I hugged her tight. She hugged me back, burying her face in my chest, as I gave her lithe kisses all over her head. "You don't know how proud I am of you, love. You handled that very well."

"Not in the beginning though. I was a bit spooked. But then I thought of you and got over it." she murmured through my chest.

She probably didn't know that she was fanning my ego by saying those words. She made me sound like a god and both heaven and hell knows that I'm far from being a _saint _even. But I ignored the negative comments that I was mentally scolding myself with.

Meeting the Blacks? Check.

Getting them to hear my Bella's story without kicking her out? Check.

Rachel promising not to send Bella anymore hate e-mail? Check.

So all in all, the first thing on my list for 'Bella's closure' was already struck out. Next on the list: getting every single friend of Bella's and making them listen to her apology.

The problem?

How the heck am I supposed to get the whole of Phoenix State High to gather at one terribly small house that could barely fit in my own giant brother?

"That's one down." Bella echoed my thoughts, pulling away to give me a brilliant smile. Her eyes were bloodshot, her cheeks still wet. So I gently rubbed my hands against her cheeks and kissed her eyelids. I felt her skin heating up under my lips, and I knew we'd be making out in less than three seconds.

And since this isn't exactly the ideal place for a make-out session, I pulled away from her grasp. She pouted a little, but I gave her a quick kiss on her lips.

"So are you going to invite your friends in or what?" Rachel suddenly spoke, breaking me and Bella's intense stare-down match. I gave my girl a crooked grin before turning to answer her. "Is that okay with you?"

"Uh, yeah? There's this little person with spiky black hair that's jumping up and down the hood of your Jeep. And um, there's this really big dude that trying to find ways to sneak into my house." she answered, walking over to the window and pulling back the curtains.

And then I saw Alice, Emmett, Rosalie and Jas-freaking-per all leaning against the window frame. Startled, Rachel jumped back and started cussing out expletives. "What the fu-" she was saying and I began to tune her out.

My siblings are dead.

They are so dead.

Narrowing my eyes at them, I got away from Bella's laughing form and moved over to the frontdoor, where Rachel was leading me. She pulled it open and Alice lunged herself at Rachel. "What did you say to my sister? Did you do something really horrible to her? Why did I hear sobbing? Are you the one making _her _cry? Because if you are, you're in for one hell of a-"

"_Alice!" _I groaned. Behind me, Bella giggled. Rachel only blinked at my little sister, whose mouth was being covered by Jasper's right hand. He muttered an apology at Rachel.

"Is she always like this?" she asked, looking at my sister, who was trying very hard to pull Jasper's hand away from her mouth.

"Yeah. All the freaking time!" Emmett boomed, and I swear, I saw the doorframe shaking a little.

Groaning again, I rubbed my hands against my face. Bella's small hand patted my back reassuringly. She then proceeded to wrap her arms around my waist, burying her face in my back. She was shaking, holding back laughing fits.

"I am so, so sorry, Rachel," I apologized through my hands. She only looked back at me, questioning my sanity, and started dialling a phone number. She moved off the room where we were earlier, and I followed, tugging Bella along.

We ended up staying for quite some time in the Blacks' household. Rachel still had the sadness in her tone, but she was now starting to hide it. She no longer glared at Bella and me, and she even attempted a few jokes with Emmett. The two of them were going swimmingly, both foul-mouthed and perverted minds think alike.

And as I looked sat down on the futon of which Bella had laid out when we went back to her old home, I realized that there was an obvious lift in Bella's aura. Okay, maybe that came out wrong, but Bella seemed . . . more _happy. _Like, a part of her had been sewed back into place.

Part by part, Isabella Swan was returning.

But part by part - with every passing day - Edward Cullen was breaking.

BPOV

"Morning, love." Edward kissed my hair as I started to stir awake.

Blinking and looking around, I realized that I was the last one in bed, er, futon. Alice and the others were sitting around me, munching on some toasts and sipping coffee. Well, not really sipping. Emmett was gulping down milk like some person who wasn't fed two hours ago.

My big brother of sorts caught me staring, and he swallowed his bite of toast before saying, "What? Can't a man eat in peace?"

I giggled. Em was pissed because the cable broke. He'd been trying to get it to work, but whatever means of repair he tried, it never worked. So for the whole of last night - and maybe this morning - he 's been irritating the shit out of Edward and Jasper, his two favorite victims. I came in third, but that was okay. I didn't need a bear hounding me with every single word that came out of my mouth.

And Edward . . .

Well, he's been different. After that visit with Rachel and Billy yesterday, Edward's just been . . . off. In front of me and the others, he'll smile and joke about. But when he's alone - and he seemed to isolate himself more often nowadays - it's like there's this cloud of despair hanging off him.

I was starting to get worried for him.

Edward was usually confident, and maybe a little arrogant. Okay fine. He _is _arrogant. And egocentric. But after what happened yesterday, it's as if he's starting to shut himself out to other people. By now, he would have snapped at Emmett for his antics, but the weird thing was, he wasn't.

And I'm starting to think that I could be the cause of his shifting moods.

My heart raced as I thought of yesterday. It brought some sense of closure to me, and I was glad I had Edward by my side. But is he starting to doubt my love for him? I didn't want to know the answer, feeling sick of what it could be.

Stomach lurching suddenly, I felt as thought there were icicles inside it. My palms were turning sweaty, and my eyesight blurred. Oh, god.

It's got to be me.

I'm too selfish.

I should have thought that Edward would have felt this way.

Shit.

I never should have agreed to this trip in the first place. Never. Now, because of my past, I might lose the only person that matters to me now. I might lose my guardian angel, as cheesy as that sounds. I might lose my protector, my best friend, my Edward.

All because I needed this freaking closure trip.

"Bella? Bella! Edward, I think she's going to be sick!" Alice screamed through my reverie. I couldn't care less. Bursting out of my futon and its sheets, I ran to the bathroom.

And that's when I began puking my guts out.

The weird feeling of deja vu overpowered, making me remember how I felt when I saw Leah and Edward together. Closing my eyes and willing the pain in my chest to go away, I couldn't help but start crying through my moans. Someone was holding my hair back, rubbing my spine, and I knew who it was just by his touch.

Even until now, when Edward is seeing a monster selfishly begging him to stay with her in her twisted mind, he still wanted to take care of me.

Another roll of sickness overwhelmed me.

But it wasn't enough to justify the sudden, splintering and glistening hole in my chest. If the thought of Edward leaving me felt this wrong, this much hurtful and absolute _pain, _then what more when he left me for good?

It felt like my heart was burning in the pits of a smoldering fire which ripped at my heart.

Jacob's death wasn't this painful.

And this frightened me.

When it was over, when I finally finished vomiting and had flushed the toilet, I moved over to brush my teeth. Edward still held my hair, this time, he was tying it expertly. He tied it into a low ponytail which twisted on my back in a mess.

Brushing my teeth meticulously, I still couldn't find a way to stop the tears. Edward was hysterical, screaming at Emmett, thinking that his big brother was at fault, since he was the person who'd taunted me earlier. As much as I wanted to say 'stop,' I couldn't find my voice. Spitting out the foam, my tears still wouldn't stop.

After I rinsed my mouth, with my tears still falling like a waterfall, I lunged myself at Edward, who stiffened, surprised by the sudden contact. He rubbed my back, smoothed my hair from my face, and kissed my forehead, all the while murmuring, "It's okay, it's okay. I love you, it's okay."

But he must have been lying when he said 'I love you.'

Emmett and the others left me alone with Edward, giving us a private moment together. They must have realized that this was something between Edward and I, and that I needed him at the moment.

God, I felt so guilty.

His siblings were there to support me, abandoning everything else just to stick by me, and here I was, pushing them away. What was wrong with me? Why am I always doing the wrong thing? Why is it that everything I touch has to be destroyed?

Is this karma? Were the words I'd spoken yesterday in the Blacks' house wrong? Did Jake still hate me because of what happened? Or maybe this was just a belated punishment.

I buried my face in the crook of Edward's neck. He sat me on top of his lap as he took a seat on the covered toilet bowl. He kept quiet, which only made things worst, because I needed so much to hear his voice one last time, before he said goodbye.

_Before he said goodbye . . ._

"Edward, d-don't leave me." I begged him, feverishly pressing my lips against his exposed skin. He wore no shirt one again, and this time, instead of lust, it brought along a set of torture for me.

"Leave you? What on Earth are you talking about? Bella, I will never leave you!" he protested, as if it was utter blasphemy.

And yet I couldn't bring myself to hope. After all, he really could be lying.

This hurt me even more.

"H-how do I know y-you're not l-l-lying?" I stuttered, demanding, as I pressed myself closer to him. The irrational need to be close to him was scaring me, and a thought flew across my mind. What if he pushed me away?

But he didn't.

Edward kissed my hair, harder this time, and said firmly, "Isabella Marie Swan, I have vowed to myself and to your father that I will always stick by your side, no matter what. And if I should ever be ripped apart from you, it will only be if I died. And even then, I plan to be with you."

"R-really?"

"Of course, you silly, beautiful, over-sensitive girl. What gave you the impression that I was having second thoughts about you?" and then he shuddered at his words, mentally chastising himself.

Suddenly, the hole closed, and I blinked, sitting up to look him in the eyes. His brilliant green eyes were worried sick, almost crazed, and they were burning so sternly that my pulse quickened. They were darker, and the last time I received that look, we were both getting intimate. But today was different.

He was freaking out.

And in his frantic eyes, I could see the love and devotion he was portraying.

It struck me then, how much Edward really loved me, and how I didn't deserve this amount of love from him. But nothing I feared could change that. Edward will always love me and vice-versa. He was too strong now to be torn away from me. I was too weak to be ripped away from him, either.

The lion and the lamb.

Who would have ever thought?

"Say something, Bella. I'm kind of losing my mind here." he begged, his tight arms wounding around me even tighter. It was very difficult to breathe, even with his delicious breath fanning my face. As usual, Edward smelled of mint, honey, lilac-and-sun. It was criminal for a human to smell this intoxicating.

"I just . . . I thought that you were going to leave me." I melted right into his gaze, memorizing his face, tracing the strong outline of his jaw, his long nose, the curve of his lips. And lastly, his soft eyelids, which fluttered against my hand.

"Bella, allow me to repeat this one more time: I will _never _leave you. Never. I love you, always have and always will. I _need _you like I need air to breathe. Not a wish, but a necessity. Do you understand me? It hurts to be away from you. Hell, it _kills _me to be away from you even for the slightest second."

That was probably the most sweetest thing I've ever heard Edward say to me, ever.

"I love you too, Edward. I'm so sorry for acting that way."

He was quiet, his melting eyes turning sad, and I asked, "What's wrong?"

Edward sighed and leaned his forehead into mine, closing his eyes. I closed mine too.

"The date of the disownment . . . it's coming closer and closer. I guess I'm just letting it get to me, but every single freaking time I think of it, I see Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper . . . Alice. I think of them like my own family and breaking away from the Cullens is like a death wish for me. I can't imagine how-how I'll wake up every morning and . . . Em's not there. Or when I can't find a shirt and Alice will . . . well, she'll dress me up like a life-sized Ken doll.

"I don't want to live a day without Rosalie's crazy hugs. And there's no one to play Warcraft with me if I were to lose Jasper. All of them . . . every single one of my brothers and sisters . . . I'm-I'm frightened of losing all of them. I don't want to lose them, but this really wasn't my decision."

The tears were coming back. But this time, it wasn't because I was afraid of losing Edward.

My stoic, strong, and completely cocky boyfriend was crying. Real sniffles, ones that reminded me of a little boy.

Trying not to sound like I was going to break down as well, I hugged him tightly. "Edward, not having the surname 'Cullen' doesn't mean you're going to lose Alice and the others. They'll always be right next to you, fighting with you, and so will I. There's no way in hell that Emmett will let one day pass without forcing you to hear him sing _Mama Mia, _and I'm sure Alice will drag several clothes to you and make you wear them.

"Neither will Jasper let you kick his ass at Warcraft. You know how competitive he can be. I mean, for that single Pac-Man game he played with me, he made it sound like he was off to fight for the war! It _will _be alright, you know. Rose will still give you her hugs. It's okay, Edward. Really."

And then I pressed my lips against his, comforting him in the way I knew how.

His lips were still, and then his hands splayed across my back. He kissed me in earnest, his right hand moving up to tangle into my hair.

Suddenly, I remembered where we were, and what the horrible liquids that came out of my mouth not too long ago. I pulled away from his lips, breaking away, panting. "Er, maybe we shouldn't do this here?"

"Why not?" his lips were insistent on the side of my neck, his tongue flicking out to tease me. I bit back a low growl. "In case you didn't have eyes earlier, _Edward, _I just puked my guts out."

He chuckled and I was glad to hear it.

Edward lifted his head, his green eyes a little bloodshot. His cheeks were still wet, and his nose was a faint tinge of red. He looked cute in the aftermath of his crying, and I couldn't help but touch his red nose.

"Yeah, yeah, I look like Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. I get it." he grumbled, looking down in embarrassment. I laughed at his theory, but I shook my head.

"Sure, you look like the Reindeer, but you're _my _reindeer."

A sudden knock on the bathroom door startled us, making me jump on Edward's lap. He let out a tiny growl, one of which I would have never heard if I wasn't so close to him. I laughed and buried my face in his shoulder, looking towards the sound of the noise.

"Er, Bella? There's someone-" Rosalie was saying in a rather stressed but borderline calm voice.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN, YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW AND TELL ME WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE?" Another deeper voice shouted, interrupting her.

I will recognize that voice _anywhere. _

Edward made sure to steady me first as I ran to the tiny door. He wrapped his long arms around my waist, half-shielding me from whatever he thought was a menace.

But this guy sure as hell wasn't a menace.

As I pulled open the door, Jared, Embry, Seth, Paul . . . Leah, all of my former friends, stood facing me, their faces screwed in anticipation.


	22. Be My Listening Ear

_**Author's Note: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 137 reviews for The Family's Loss! I swear, I look like a crazy person from all my jumping up and down. So SUPER MEGA ULTRA LARGE GINORMOUS thank yous to marzu98 (I have some plans in store for the doctor . . . *insert evil laugh here*), MeFromMars (Oh WOW. Their set-list is just amazing. I spent the rest of my day cranking up their songs. And I just LOVE Oblivion!), fanficftw23, sailor-ahiru (YOU WERE RIGHT! I did such an error there! Ugh, I really should start reading through my chapters more profusely. But, hey, thanks for spotting the mistake! I owe it to you big time. =) But as for your questions . . . well, I can't spoiler you now, can't I? You'll just have to wait and see! I have certain plans in store for Edward's biological father, but that'll be in later chappies. Thanks for your reviews, they truly are inspiring. =D), dvickd (I'm glad you liked seeing the vulnerable side of Edward. It's kind of difficult to portray him in that way, since he's always been painted as a strong, valuable person. Carlisle and Esme . . . well, I'm feeling secretive today, so you'll just have to read this chapter to find out if they're still going to continue with the disownment! *insert a cheeky grin here*), Naylor Robsten Cullen (Thank you so much for that review you gave me. I'm glad to know that you're enjoying my story. ^^), AliceRosalieBellaCulken1234 and of course, the very lovable Emoprincess98 (Haha, you really didn't have to say sorry. It's all a-okay with me. I don't wish for you to feel obligated in reviewing every chapter of mine, so it's all good. AND YES, I DEFINITELY HATE THE BIEBS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE. I mean, can you at least look at his hair? Jeez, it's like all hell will freeze over. It's just weird, you know? As for you question, well, as much as I'd love to walk down the street in a bikini just for fun, I bet my boyfriend will probably attack me with a towel or something. He hates it when other guys eye my, um, assets? LOL. Not that I like it either, I mean, can you imagine old geezers looking at your boobs? It's just completely DISGUSTING! So I'd have to go with a panda suit; cute, and no one will have to see my face blushing like crazy. And yes, I do wish the Biebs and the JBros will eventually get mulled away. What do other people see in them, I certainly cannot understand . . . LOVE YOU TOO. =D) **_

_**So, I know you guys are probably irritated by my long note, so please, go ahead and read it! If you loved Rob's sexy back in the love scene of Breaking Dawn: Part One, YOU'RE NOT ALONE. ;) So please, leave a review! **_

_**Finally, grab some munchkins, crank up that Twi-love, and ENJOY. **_

_**~Serene.**_

_**Disclaimer: If I ever see a shooting star tonight, the first thing I'll do is wish for Edward Cullen to be real. That hot vampire can bite me anytime he wants. **_

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

"W-what . . .?" Bella trailed off, looking at the bunch of people who were crowding near the bathroom door, shoving Rosalie to the side.

I pulled my tenacious sister to my left and draped my arm over her shoulder protectively, warningly, as she buried her face in my sleeve. She gripped my t-shirt with her right hand.

Rose had looked as though she was going to either start cussing or crying. Probably both. I patted her blonde hair and looked at Bella, who was staring at Rose apologetically.

"You okay, Rosalie?" she asked.

My sister only rubbed her face against my sleeve and looked up to meet my Bella's gaze, mouthing, "Yeah, don't push it though."

Bella smiled and held my hand as she turned back to the group of teenagers who were looking at me like I was a piece of . . . meat. Well, Leah, Paul and Seth were busy looking angry with Bella, but the others were focused on our intertwined hands. They seemed more shocked by this rather than their friend suddenly being present.

From behind them, I could see Alice and Emmett and Jasper looking on worriedly. Alice was grinning slightly, though. And Em was just ready to pounce on anyone he thought was a threat to me or Bella or Rose.

That overprotective fool.

"Bella, you didn't answer my big Q! What the heck are you _doing _here? If Billy and Rachel sees you-" Seth began.

"Seth, chill. We," she gestured between me and my siblings, "have already gone to see them."

An eerie silence overwhelmed the room, and I realized that we were standing near the bathroom. "Er, why don't we move to a more comfortable place?" I asked awkwardly, looking behind at Bella's former bathroom.

"Dude, what's up with your voice?" a semi-tall but shorter than me guy asked, looking awed and dazed. He had floppy black hair that fell into his eyes and completely covered his forehead.

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "What?"

"Your voice, man. You sound . . ." he trailed off.

Bella chuckled nervously. "Let's just take this somewhere else, okay? Jared, that's Edward's real voice. Sexy, isn't it?"

The boy, whose name was Jared, blinked and grinned before nodding. "You gotta teach me how to do that."

Okay, now I'm confused.

I shot Bella a I-don't-get-it look, but she only squeezed my hand and nodded briefly at me before tugging me to her living room, where the futons were now stacked up in a neat pile and was replaced by the pull-out sofa that Bella owned. Most of the things that my girlfriend had here were practically mobile.

Leah was holding Paul's hand as the group of teenagers sat on floor opposite the TV. They seemed at home here, much at ease than they were before. Though Leah and Seth were worried to the core, they settled quickly against the sofa's side.

We - as in my siblings, Bella and I - sat opposite them, keeping a distance of three feet between us. Emmett sat dutifully beside me, sitting straight and rigid. Rose mirrored his posture while Alice and Jasper sat beside Bella. The two of them were shyly glancing at each other; Alice was blushing weirdly.

Did the two of them . . . talk? Did Alice finally forgave Jasper?

See, Al was freakishly angry at Jazz for keeping my secret from her. Though it did make sense for him to do it - not to mention that Emmett did the same thing with Rose - my sister was still hurt. She trusted Jasper so much that she didn't expect it to happen.

But now, watching Jasper reach hesitantly for her hand, I'm beginning to hope that they're going to be okay.

"B . . . what're you _really _doing here?" Leah whispered. Paul looked at her and winced as he saw the pain in Leah's features. He seemed so consumed by her that he didn't notice his surroundings. He rubbed her back gently, reassuringly, as he kissed her cheek.

The look in his eyes . . . it was like the way I'd look at Bella. Like he could only see her, and only her. It was as if he was looking at the sun for the first time, engulfed by the fiery flames of her.

Leah looked back at Paul, who nuzzled her cheek lovingly. For a big dude with really freaky features - he looked like those guys that were overly muscled and had tattoos all over their bodies - he was like Em with his softness and cheeky grin.

Bella cleared her throat and I pulled her tighter against my side.

"I was . . . well, I wanted to visit Phoenix for . . . you know, closure." she whispered.

Most of the teenagers were biting back shocked looks. Leah blinked once and opened her mouth to say something when Seth beat her to it. "You're shitting me?"

"Uh, no. And Seth, I don't think my asshole's that big to actually shit you out." Bella laughed nervously and hid her head in my arm. I took one look at her red-as-hell expression and grinned. Then I pressed my lips to her ear. "Sweetheart, I don't think that pulling an Emmett right now is most advisable."

She hit my forearm. "Shut up."

Emmett guffawed. "That's my Bellsy!"

Rose groaned while Alice and Jasper laughed at us. "You guys suck at these serious atmosphere things." Jasper chuckled while staring at me and Emmett. "Don't make me virus your laptop, Jasper. You and I both know I can do it, and don't even bother trying to save your Warcraft game." my brother-bear threatened.

Jasper's eyes widened. "Shit. Emmett!"

He only cackled evilly. Bella giggled and peeked at him before she reached past me to grab hold of his gigantic hand. "Don't worry Em, I got your back. I think it's time for Jasper to move to Code Of Duty, anyway."

Em turned to give me a grateful stare. "Your girlfriend is freaking awesome. You gotta get me some of that next time."

"Is that your way of saying you want to break up with me, Emmett?" Rosalie suddenly smacked the back of his head. "Ow! Damn it, Rose!" he cursed before realizing what he'd said. "Shit, shit. No, no. I don't wanna break up with you. Ever. Besides, we're engaged right?"

"Um, are you guys done or what?" another guy from the group opposite us asked. They were all either smiling or chuckling at us, enjoying the free show.

Bella swallowed and her palms turned sweaty. "Yeah, we're done . . ."

"So you really saw Rachel and Billy?" a stiff looking guy asked Bella.

She nodded. "Yeah. We talked to them yesterday and, well, they're not angry with me anymore. At least, that's what they told me, Embry."

"But what about Rachel?" It was Paul's turn to look at Bella.

"She was difficult at first . . . but then she got over it. I'm really glad that they managed to forgive me in the end." Bella looked down.

"Oh. Um, in that case, we'll just see you around then, B." Jared looked at me before moving to get up.

"NO!" Bella protested.

They looked at her, surprise masking their face. This was probably the first time they heard her shout in a long time. Bella told me once that she didn't speak with her group of friends much, and that they were all really disappointed in her. They missed the old Bella, even though that girl she was back then was hardly the real girl that she is inside.

"I mean," Bella cleared her throat, "I really wanted to talk to you guys too."

She turned to them, her face lighting and glowing with sudden contentment. "I'm real sorry, guys. For never truly being myself around you. I know that I've made so many mistakes, lots of them not atonable, and that's why I want to apologize, because you guys deserve it. I was being such a bitch to all of you, because I used to blame you for never stopping me when it was really just _me _that was to blame.

"But I'm not that girl anymore. I'm not going to sit around and cry about it. Being with my Edward and his family . . . it showed me what I really needed. You guys are the best friends anyone, anywhere would have loved to get. You're loyal, brave, and very supporting.

"And I took advantage of it. I know that some of you were hesitant about the stupid competition I held where our Jake died, and that you tried to stop me. I was just too stubborn to listen. For that, I'm really, really sorry. I regret doing it, but at the same time, I gained something during my loss."

Bella nudged my shoulder and I kissed her forehead lovingly. She continued, "Edward was the one who suggested this whole closure trip. He was adamant about me finding my peace, and that's part of the reason why I love him. He helped me to open up, to be _myself, _and I'm glad that I don't have to pretend any longer. With him, I just . . . I can't even describe it. It's, no, _he's_ the best thing that's ever happened to me.

"Leah; you're my best friend. And forever will be. What happened with Sam," at this, both Paul and Leah flinched, "that's in the past. I'm glad you've found Paul. And Paul; you better take care of Leah, otherwise I'll - okay, maybe I can't kick your butt, but I'll try and do something about it. Seth . . . you're really sweet, do you know that? You're very loyal and cheerful all the time, and I don't just see you as Leah's brother. I see you as _you. _

"And as for Embry and Jared . . . please don't ever change, okay? You guys were the ones who tried to stop me when I created the competition. Both of you were close friends with Jacob, and yet here you sit, listening to me."

Bella's eyes started to tear, reminding me of the strange tears she'd shed earlier today.

My own eyes were pricking, for some weird reason I didn't know why. My nose was starting to run. I heard Alice's familiar sniffles and Jasper's soothing voice as well as Rosalie's harsh breathing that indicated she was hiding her cries. Emmett held his fiance to his chest as he cradled her in his lap.

This family of mine . . . they're really compassionate. They had no idea who these people were, but they still cried for them.

My girl was leaning heavily into my side, my arms wrapped around her automatically.

Leah spoke first. "Why does it feel like you're saying goodbye?"

"Lee-Lee," Bella whispered, her voice cracking. "I understand that you guys are fending well here in Phoenix, and that you don't need me any longer. Everyone's so much happier without me."

"But that's not true!" Leah protested.

"Look at the evidence, Lee-Lee. We're all living different lives now. You have Phoenix, and I have Forks. I'm not saying that I don't want to be acquainted with you guys, it's just that maybe it's better off if we start living our lives a bit. I'm not coming back here after this. And I doubt you'll want to visit rainy Forks either."

"B, you can't . . . we can't . . . this isn't supposed to be happening!" Leah choked, full out crying.

"Leah, honey, I think she's right. It's for best. We all need to get over Jacob as well. Anyway, it's not like Bella's not going to be our friend anymore. It'll just be a long-distance friendship. We can't always be together forever. Eventually, we'll need to part ways. We're all growing up now. And it's time for us to accept it."

Paul's deep voice echoed throughout the room.

There was an underlying decision in Bella's words, though. She was choosing to stay with my family; with _me. _She could have easily chose to stay in Phoenix and go back to her old life now that everyone seemed to forgive her for her rash actions. But instead, she decided to be with me and siblings.

It hit me then, how much Bella was sacrificing for me.

What was wrong with me? Why did this sudden revelation made me feel so . . . hollow? As if I couldn't tell whether or not it was the right thing or not. She could have a happier life with the ones she's known for so long.

My heart was feeling a little weirded out.

But I just couldn't stand the thought of her leaving me. If she really did choose to do that, what would I do? Let her go? I couldn't do it. I _can't _do it. I'll rather I die than let her go. She's too important to me, she's everything to me.

Flashes of a future blinked throughout my mind, blinding me.

_Bella in the arms of another person, smiling and laughing. Her beautiful face lit up with happiness as she leans in to kiss the person's lips. _

_Bella's mesmerizing brown eyes brimming over with tears as this mystery person kneels down and proposes to her. Her mouth moving as she whispers a 'yes' to the man. Her arms wrapping around his head as she kisses his forehead, crying with so much emotion running through her. _

_Bella walking down the aisle towards the man, holding a lovely bouquet of roses whilst wearing an amazing white gown so beautiful, it could only match with the person wearing it. Her arm loped with Charlie's as she steadily walks down the red carpet with her face lit up with the realization that she was really going to get tied down for the rest of her life with the man she absolutely adores. _

_Bella's face, shining with sweat and exuberance as she kisses the forehead of a baby. She's lying on a hospital bed, looking exhausted, but happy. Her brown eyes are filled with so much joy as she looks down at the baby. The mystery man is wrapping his arms around the both of them. _

And then I felt so freaking _angry. _

I was the one taking Bella's future away.

This was wrong.

I was not right for her. Not at all. I simply coveted her.

The sudden ache in my chest was so searingly painful, I wondered what could possibly cause this. Bella's hand was clasped firmly in mine. Emmett was glancing at me, worry written on his face, as his big hand patted my back stiffly. His eyes turned panicked when he realized I wasn't breathing.

But I couldn't focus on it.

My mind was elsewhere, reprimanding myself why I was such a monster for taking away the bright future of the one I love. I know that I couldn't possibly give all those to her, because I was already broken. No one would want a piece of shit like me.

Then I remembered Bella's words: _"Don't leave me." _

Suddenly, I found that I was fighting against the guilt and pain. It was inevitable that I would feel this way. But I _will _find a way to get over it. I _will _marry Bella and give her that future she deserves.

I recalled that I did think of marrying her and that we had discussed it once.

Call me corny, call me eager or just selfish. But I was ready.

I'm almost eighteen, and I'm ready to tie myself down to this girl who was looking up at me, her brown eyes so concerned and worried as she touches my cheek, stroking it, her touch sending waves of electricity buzzing through me.

There won't be another person that could hold so much of myself within her. There couldn't possibly be another _Bella. _

And I was probably right. I _am _right for Bella. She's right for _me. _

I didn't covet her. She was mine since the beginning. If fate had played this all out just to make me realize this, then I should be grateful.

"Edward? Are you okay?" she whispered and I looked down at her. She still had tiny dewdrops of tears formulating in her eyes, but nevertheless, she was fighting them back just for me. I hugged her tighter to me and kissed her little nose. I moved down and kissed her soft, unyielding lips.

It wasn't exactly a peck of sorts. I just needed to show her that I love her. And that she was really mine.

Pulling away, Bella was smiling and holding on to my neck like a life-supporter. "What brought that on?"

I cleared my throat, making sure I wouldn't crack up or anything. Instead, I gave her the smile she loved, the crooked one, and kissed her cheek. "I love you." I declared and held her waist.

Her brown eyes widened with wonder. "You know I love you too. But why're you saying this now?"

Taking a deep breath, I turned to the group that sat on the other side of us. Leah was positively beaming at me, Seth nodding, apparently satisfied, and the others were just grinning. They seemed pleased at my affectionate display with Bella.

"I know it isn't my place to say this to you guys right now, but thank you. For making Bella the way she is now." I grinned at them.

They were shocked, but they got over it quickly. "It's no problem, dude." Jared smiled back. "I'm just happy that Bella's happy."

"Give us some credit, Jared." Seth scoffed. "I'm sure the rest of us are happy to see Bella like that. I've never really seen her so . . . relaxed. She's not as tense as before and I'm guessing that she's about to jump around happily."

"Wanna bet? Five bucks." Embry reached for his back pocket.

"Ten." Seth grunted, pulling out two five dollar bills.

"Done." Paul was smashing a couple of dollar bills on the floor while Leah looked at him disbelievingly. Then she shook her head and sighed. "Idiots will always be idiots," she groaned and shared a secret smile with Bella.

Suddenly, she ripped herself away from Paul and crawled over to where Bella was sitting. She wrapped her arms tightly around my girlfriend. Bella hugged her back, of course, and laughed when Leah started saying, 'I love you, I love you, I love you' a couple of times.

"Oi, Lee-Lee, don't hog Bella all to yourself!" Seth crowed and all of them moved over to Bella. Discreetly, I let go of her and moved over to the side, giving them space.

They were all a bundle of limbs as they group hugged. Laughter was heard from them, and I smiled at the sound. Bella's laugh rang out the most, soothing my wonder.

And I was sure that I would be fine. Even if Carlisle and Esme were to disown me, even when everything would crumble and I was knocked off my feet, I would still have Bella.

She was all I would ever need.

Ever.

BPOV

Leah and the others didn't stay for a long time.

As we said our goodbyes, they promised me that they would call as much as they could, and that they would frequently send e-mails and text messages. Paul and Leah seemed pretty involved with each other, and I knew that wherever Leah was, Paul could be found with her. They were practically impenetrable and inseparable.

Their relationship was an echo of mine and Edward's. I couldn't live without him.

But enough of the cheesiness.

I breathed, happy.

After all this time . . . after nearly one whole year, I felt complete. The shattered pieces of who I was were finally stitched back into place, holding me tighter and gripping me with a death-like embrace. And this was all thanks to Edward.

You have to give him some credit.

He really did know me well. Maybe even better than I know myself.

But a certain problem occurred to me. It wasn't about me or Jacob any longer. That was a chapter already finished, like the typing of a 'the end' in a manuscript, the odd hollow feeling that you would feel whenever you knew that something was off.

Edward was going to be disowned by Carlisle and Esme.

However, what could I do to stop it?

I'd thought of the possibilities, the solutions running through my mind. None of them seemed fitting enough, and I needed help. Just as Edward saved me from who I was and my past, effectively helping me gain acceptance and closure, I needed him to find his as well.

Lovers were supposed to give and take.

Now it's my time to help my Edward.

"Can I talk to you guys for a minute?" I asked my little family as they sat on their assigned futons. Rosalie and Emmett looked at me while Alice and Jasper stopped playing their game of tic-tac-toe.

Edward was in the bathroom, bathing.

"What about, sista?" Em said, leaning all the way down his futon and lying on his back, waiting for me to talk.

I took a deep breath. "It's about Edward's disownment. I want to do something about it. There's got to be a way where we can get Carlisle to listen to us and make him understand why Edward's like that. He can't just disown Edward . . . this morning . . . it was just . . ."

"Just what, Bella?" Alice asked, panic lacing her carefully set tone.

Another deep breath and a heartbeat afterwards, I was explaining to them what happened to me and Edward earlier in the morning. I told them how Edward was frightened of losing them, and how much he didn't want to be disowned.

"Why didn't that little asshole tell us? Jeez, and here I was, thinking he was just PMSing." Emmett growled after I was finished.

Rosalie groaned and glowered at him. "Please, Emmett. Be serious. Your own brother is depressed and that's all you're ever going to say?"

Emmett was quiet as he closed his eyes. His normally mischievous and cheeky face slipped into a puckered one. It broke my heart when I saw his eyelids fluttering a bit and his mouth twitching as he hid his emotions. "It's the only way I can think of just to escape from the pain. I don't want to lose Edward. He saved me from that orphanage. He's my brother."

"Well, he's mine too," Jasper breathed, his eyes out of focus. "And I remember how scared I was of Emmett until Edward assured me he wasn't going to eat me up alive."

"And how Edward saved me from all those skirt-chasers back then." Rosalie added, her gorgeous face saddened.

Alice was not speaking. Her expression said it all. She was the most attached to Edward, and I was sure it was killing her whenever she thought about Edward being pulled away from her life.

"What do you think we can do?" I asked them, reaching out to pat Em's clenched hands.

It was silent as everyone thought. We came up with nothing.

How could we get Carlisle to listen to us? How could we make him understand Edward?

Unless . . . unless we spoke with him?

Like a light-bulb lighting up in my head, I began to tell them of my plan.

* * *

><p>The next morning, we packed everything up.<p>

We were heading back to Forks today, and this time, it was Edward's turn to drive. Emmett was packing up the duffel bags and everything as the rest of us got in. I caught their eyes and we all nodded secretly. When we reached Forks, we would firstly meet up with Carlisle and Esme, and then we would tell them of Edward's past.

Only, will they listen to us?

I couldn't guarantee a straight answer.

"Bella, do you know where Jacob is buried?" Edward asked me as I got into the passenger seat. He looked at me, his green eyes burning through the heat of Phoenix. He was wearing a men's tank top and khaki shorts. I wore one of his shirts and a pair of shorts.

"Um, Burning Leaves Memory Lawn. Why?" I questioned him, wondering why he was suddenly asking me this question.

"We're going to visit Jacob's grave, love. Is that alright with you?"

We're going to visit his grave?

And then I understood. "Oh, yeah. It's fine. Totally. Shouldn't we bring flowers?"

"Already taken care of." he gestured to a compartment in the Jeep. I pushed it open, revealing a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers that I knew could only come from Forks. How he kept them fresh and clean, I didn't know. Their scent overwhelmed me and I thought that it was the best flowers that represented Jacob.

They were just so beautiful that I couldn't help but touch it.

It reminded me of Jacob's warmth.

Smiling at the memory, I leaned in and inhaled the scent. It distinctively had the unmistakable scent of the woods and the fresh air. It was like the earth, the soil, and the moss. It reminded me of how Jake loved the wild.

"Edward, it's perfect." I smiled at my boyfriend, who was pulling out of the driveway of my former home. He was straining to look at the road and the GPS system installed in the Jeep all at the same time.

He smiled, looking at the tiny screen above the gear stick. "Bingo," he murmured and turned to give me my favorite crooked grin. "Anything for you."

I think I melted into the seat.

"Okay, stop eye-screwing each other and please look at the road, Edward. You don't want to make my baby a pretzel around a tree would you?" Emmett boomed. I laughed as Edward glowered at him in the rearview mirror.

We left my house behind and we were speeding towards the memory lawn so fast, I didn't even have to count five minutes before it was over.

I remembered where Jacob was buried, and led the others to his grave. It was right smack in the middle of the memory lawn, where the sun was shining the most, and I traced the engravings on his stone.

Laying the bouquet on his stone, I kissed the tips of my fingers before pressing them against the cold, smooth marble.

"Hey, Jacob," I smiled at his name. "How're you? Is heaven treating you nicely? I have some people I want to introduce you to, Jake. They're part of my family, too."

Since I was kneeling down, all Edward and his family had to do was to kneel beside me. As we sat around his grave, I held Edward's somewhat trembling hand.

My heart wasn't in pain anymore.

Instead, I could feel _him _smiling down at me, the sunshine on my back not so subtle as I felt the warmth radiating throughout my body. Ever wondered how people with dead loved ones could feel them even though they were gone?

Well, I did. And now I understand why they could take it. It was as if he was hugging me, his presence clearly making itself known. No, it was far from eerie.

In fact, I felt comforted that he was listening to me. Even in his death, Jacob was still selfless.

"Jake, this is Edward, and he's my love." I looked at Edward to say a word, and he did, surprisingly. "Hey, dude." he muttered, smiling as he fist bumped the grave. "It's nice to meet you. Don't worry, I love Bella too. And I promise to take care of her. I'll spoil her like she a queen."

I smacked his chest. "I don't want to be spoiled like a queen."

"_Ms. Independent, that's why I love her," _he sang out the lyrics to NeYo's song. I smiled and kissed his cheek. He grinned back and looked past me to the grave.

I turned as well. "And this is Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett. Guys, this is Jacob."

"Hiya, Jacob!" Alice cheered. Jasper mumbled a hello and Rosalie followed suit. Emmett boomed out a large hello, his hands waving in the air.

When the introductions were done, Alice and the others - Edward included - left me with Jacob.

I looked at the cool stone and the flowers placed beneath it. I traced his name and pressed my fingers against it, grinning when the sun started to shine even brighter. "Jacob . . . I never got to tell you this, but I'm sorry."

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, imagining that Jacob was sitting beside me, holding me.

"I'm sorry you had to die, Jake. So sorry . . . but Jacob, I turned into someone better. I realized my mistakes, Jake. I finally became who I wanted to be. You know, I used to think of you as my sun. You were the air to me, my own personal space-heater in the cold. You made me laugh, smile, and I found out that I didn't always have to pretend.

"And the funny thing is, I _did _love you. Some part of me disappeared when you died, and I didn't get it back until now, when I'm talking to you and you're listening. I know you, Jake. Even though you probably pretend that you're not listening by reading your Spiderman comics or Captain America ones, you're probably smiling right now. I'm happy that you can smile. Are you okay up there? Did you find your personal Princess Leia?

"I know you did, because I'm not that girl for you. You knew it, too, and yet you still fought for me. Thank you, Jacob, for everything you did for me. Thank you for closing some doors but opening so much more. Thank you for being you and making me realize that there's no easier path to finding yourself. Thank you for helping me fight."

It was quiet except for my heartbeats. Then I opened my eyes and . . .

As corny cheesy, unbelievable and completely _insane _as this might sound, for the briefest second, for that fraction of a time, I saw Jacob and his shaggy hair, grown past his shoulders and pulled up into a familiar ponytail. He was smiling at me, his braces flashing in the sun and glinting, his oval glasses pushed down all the way to the edge of his nose.

His black eyes were warm and they were telling me something.

Just as he opened his mouth to tell it to me, I blinked, and he disappeared.

But I didn't feel the loss. I knew what he was going to tell me.

Standing up, I felt rather stiff. But I couldn't stop smiling. I leaned down and pressed my fingers once more against his grave. "I love you Jake. But in the right way now. Goodbye, Jacob Black . . . and keep shining."


	23. Superficial

_**Author's Note: *Insert a window-breaking scream here* As much as I'd like to say I screamed the shit out of my throat when I found out how many reviews I got for Be My Listening Ear, I can't exactly say that. See, I've got the horrible case of a sore throat. So I sound all raspy and weird. =P Anyways, SUPER MEGA ULTRA GINORMOUS HUMONGOUS thank yous to Marianna, sailor-ahiru (I find that Breaking Dawn: Part One had more of a comedy light to it than the other films had. This new movie had to be the best movie out of the saga so far. And YES, oh my god, I just loved her seduction techniques and Edward's refusal. I really loved the honeymoon scenes 'cause it focuses on their love for each other and nothing else. Wouldn't you agree? =D), luhexayy, AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234, dvickd (*insert sheepish look here* I couldn't help myself whenever I write an Edward/Bella internal freak out moment. They just can't be Edward and Bella without an internal freak out, you know? I love how you called Edward's closure Save Edward Campaign. XD Thanks for the lovely review, by the way!), Megan (I don't think having that much of reviews is a possibility . . . is it? Because if it's true, damn, I'd like that A LOT. =D), Nandi Dilla-Cullen (Thank you for that awesome review. It was just amazing.), MeFromMars (I agree with the Jacob quote. I was re-reading Eclipse when I wrote the chapter, so I kinda wanted to write something about Jake being the Sun for Bella and everything. Glad that you liked it.), Randichele, lover of fiction, fanficftw, and the very, very flattering and completely amazing Emoprincess98 (I am eternally grateful to you for being my FanFic cheerleader. Really, nothing beats the dark clouds in my day much like your reviews. They literally bring a smile to my face, I swear. Lots of drama's happening in my life recently, and I find it difficult to keep up with reality. But I'm glad I've got you to cheer me up whenever I lose inspiration and feel like I should put this story on hiatus till I actually feel like doing it again. It's VERY depressing, but then I keep thinking that there're probably loads of people who'll cyber kick my butt should that ever happen. ;P Lol, but I seriously LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE your reviews! By the way, good luck on your first track meet of the season! Get out there and kick the other gurls asses! Or if there are guys, kick 'em where the sun doesn't shine! And I totally understand what you mean by people looking at our–ahem, ASSETS ;)–but luckily, your guy friends are there to save you from humiliation. My boyfriend goes all territorial and stuff. He'll start shouting before chasing the little jerk down the pavement. It's worse than having to deal with old geezers looking at your boobs.-.- But hey, not all relationships can be perfect. The Bieber and JBros will forever be hated! xD Man, I hogged the A/N space. Sorry! D= And also, I LOVE YOU TOO, as always. Looking forward to your review, chicka!) **_

_**I am fervently sorry for the super long author's note. =( I got carried away. Though I can't promise it won't happen again. So if you see a silver Volvo winding past your street and you immediately think of Edward Cullen, hey, feel free to leave a review! **_

_**Lastly, pull up that hoodie (cause it's got to freezing, right?), turn up the heaters, and ENJOY. =) **_

_**~Serene.**_

_**Disclaimer: I'd like to say that Twilight and hot-as-hell Edward Cullen belongs to me, but that would only end up in me getting jailed and my mom and dad whacking me in the head saying, "Damn girl, you messed up." **_

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

I have absolutely no idea what the heck was going on.

We'd arrived from Forks just yesterday, all looking like shit. I was irritated, Emmett was irritated, Jasper was irritated, hell, _everyone _was irritated. Including Bella, who, as you all know, happened to be the most calm person you could ever find in the whole history of the entire freaking world.

Okay I'm ranting, but try getting only three hours of sleep and having your freakishly ginormous big brother scream in your ear when it's only seven in the morning and you've just passed out from exhaustion not too long ago.

Now you know how I feel.

It's not like I'm complaining or anything. I really didn't mind heading over to Phoenix and doing Bella's closure mission. I was more worried about how she'll react in the aftermath. However, it didn't change a thing. In fact, I believe she's becoming more and more enthusiastic by the hour.

For some reason unbeknownst, I'm frightened that a new Alice will be born.

But either way, I still love that gorgeous, amazing girl with brown eyes and brown hair. She'd taken to stealing my wardrobe, listening to my brand new iPod which Alice had gotten for me in replace of my old one, and practically hogging my siblings.

About the last part . . . well, ever since we came back from Phoenix, they've been exchanging these really weird looks. I can't put it to words, but their looks seemed suspicious . . . and secretive. Okay fine, maybe I'm just being stupid, but you can't help a boy from wondering right? Besides, other than those really weird exchanges, my girlfriend has taken to kissing me every free second we were alone.

Not that I mind.

Not at all.

Alright I get it, I'm such a pervert, yada yada yada. The big problem? I simply don't give a shit.

"Edward, chill bro. You're killing the piano keys!" Demetri, the other part-time playlist, drawled lazily from the other side of the platform. I was testing it out; it sounded a little rusty. I think the strings inside needed to get changed asap, otherwise the songs I picked up (renditions of everything from Debussy to piano covers of modern songs) would sound ultimately _painful. _

And that's not an option for a wannabe pianist.

That's right, folks. You heard me. I want to become a pianist, just like Momma. And no, I'm not sissy or shit. Something just made me really want to express myself in the the unheard intonations inside the music. Words, thoughts, images - all portrayed in one melody. I wanted to be like the modern Mozart. Except only better.

Perhaps that's a little too over the edge, don't you think? I mean, I_ am _only an almost-eighteen dude who just so happens to be good at playing the piano. No biggie. Someone else could do better. Someone who might smoke pot, or go to parties that involve sexual intercourse at the end of the night.

But I wanted something better. To actually _be _better. I knew that it would take a hell load of blood, sweat and tears - literally - but I was ready to fight for it. After all, that scholarship to Julliard was still pending and open.

Though, the problem that laid ahead was Bella.

It's not that I didn't want to go to university without her, hell, I'd rather _die _than stay away from her for the merest second. I did have to consider my options. I didn't voice my concerns to Bella, scared shitless of what her reaction might be. Maybe she didn't want to go to university yet? Maybe she's interested in something better?

Or maybe I'm just a worthless dickhead who just can't seem to find enough room in his head to tell his ever-loving inner masochist to shut the hell up.

"Hey, Demetri," I called, distracting myself from my own thoughts. Dinner service was about to start in less than an hour, and he was going to play later on for the eight o'clock schedule, since he was the other part-time pianist. "What do you think?"

I began to play one of my compositions. The good thing about Demetri was that he listened, and he listened _well. _The dude actually knew what to look for in music. He wasn't nearly as dumb as you'd think he is, what with his really, really pale skin and dirty blonde hair. Closing my eyes, I got lost in the song, listening for any flaws as well.

There weren't any, and the song flowed tremendously, gloriously, through the room. My hands were flying across the keys gently, lightly, dancing along with the rhythm of the music. It carried me as if I was floating on a cloud - don't even go and say it's pretty corny when I say that. But it's the truth. The music _did _make me feel light, open.

It was energy put together in the simplest aspect of a song.

I snapped my eyes open when it was over.

"Damn, dude. You got talent, I'll give you that." Demetri was saying, leaning heavily against one of the pillar. He had those dark green eyes that you could barely tell was the color it was supposed to be.

And being the insolent jerk that I was, I grinned cockily. "Thanks, man."

"Don't mention it. Hey, have you heard of the sounds of Elizabeth Masen? Some of the songs you've played is part of her compositions, right? You kinda sound like her, except you bring an edge to the music which is what differentiates the good from great."

I was beginning to get confused. "So you're saying my piano playing skills sound like Mo - ah, I mean, Elizabeth's, only worst?"

He chuckled, "The opposite, actually. Her music is like bringing you to your happy place, but _your _music is like . . . well, it's like you're giving _us _a happy place and showing it to us. It's pretty cool, when you think about it. I've always wanted to play like that, but I guess I don't have the killer skills."

"That's why you're stuck on playing piano covers of Lady Gaga's songs?" I asked, joking.

"Yeah. It's pretty sick, though. I play a mean _Poker Face." _he snorted.

Shaking my head at him, he flipped me off. "Where's your girl, bro? Ain't she gonna come today like she always does?"

"Where's Heidi, then?" I taunted him right back. Heidi was this really pretty girl in the Lodge who came every night with her little sister Jane. They were notorious for being the number one regulars. Jane, though, had taken an interest in me while Heidi had taken an interest with Demetri. Though they didn't do so much as eye screw each other, you could tell that they were madly in love.

Jane was decent - cute, but a little too young. She's fourteen going on fifteen, and I don't mind people having crushes on me. As long as she wasn't like Lauren or Tanya. But Bella was easily jealous, and the main point of why she came with me every night was to keep an eye on little Jane, who didn't seem so little anymore by the way she wore that too-tight-for-her tank top.

It's a miracle those shorts even covered her butt.

Okay I take my words back.

Jane will turn out to be _exactly _like Tanya and Lauren if she doesn't stop dressing like that.

"You guys were talking about me, why?" Heidi said in her very faint Italian accent. I forgot to mention that she and Jane was part Italian.

"Er, nothing . . ." Demetri mumbled, shuffling his foot on the floor and looking anywhere but at her. She was wearing a really nice sundress that suited her physique well. And from the way he was stuffing his hands inside his pockets, I could tell this was going to be a real, major problem.

Heidi only cocked her eyebrow as she turned to me. "So, what's on the menu for today?"

"Aren't you guys a little early?" I asked her back.

"Uh, well, _we," _Heidi gestured towards her little sister, who blushed when I glanced at her, "meaning _Jane__, _decided to check in early in celebration for the sunny day."

Oh yeah. And she was absolutely brutal when it came to revealing Jane's crush on me.

"Um, okay . . . ? Menu's on the table towards your left, ladies. Servers and other staff won't come out till fifteen minutes later. You're lucky you guys are the first one in; we usually give a discount to the early birds." I nodded towards the table and went back to my compositions, searching through the possible songs. Since the piano did sound rusty, I would need a whole new set-list.

Someone cleared their throat and I could smell the putrid stench of overly sprinted perfume. "Hi, Edward . . ." Jane's soft voice said from my right. I looked up and squinted at her made up face. I didn't like it. I preferred it when people - meaning my girlfriend - wore no make up. Natural was the best way.

"Yeah?"

"Um . . . I was just . . ." she trailed off, blushing too much.

I took my turn in clearing my throat, though a little awkward. Then I scratched my head and sat up a little straighter. "Hey, listen Jane. I know what you're about to say. And I just want you to know that Bella _is _my girlfriend. I love her very much, so much it kills me whenever I don't see her. You're pretty, Jane. Real beautiful. Some other person can see that, but not me. I'm not that guy for you. I'm sorry. Really. And you should cover up, it's not even fifty today."

She blushed harder and shook her head. "Why won't you . . . why won't you give me a try?"

Sighing, I could already imagine Bella's withering glare should I ever tell her about Jane's non-existent confession. "Because I can't reciprocate your feelings. I'm in love with someone else, Jane. Please, grasp that."

"No." she shook her head.

I fought back another sigh. Daring, she trailed her hand up and down my arm. I bit my lip to keep from snapping back some nasty words. "Edward," she purred. I shivered - not out of pleasure, but of _disgust._ I've been through this so much in my life, it was uncountable. "You should just ditch Bella. You and I both know she can't . . . _please _you."

"Jane!" I cried, jerking my arm away from her hand, which had ghosted down my chest. "You're only fourteen! You're supposed to have slumber parties, not begging some impromptu dude to have sex with you! I'm _not _going to give a chance to you, or anybody else for that matter. I'll say it again: _I am in love with Isabella Swan. _And I'm not planning on screwing her anytime soon."

"That's okay. Then we'll just have to keep our relationship-"

"There is _no _relationship, Jane!" That's it. I've blown my load. "I will always love Bella, for better or for worse. She's my only love and she'll always remain that way. I don't give a shit on what you think. We can do this hard, or we can do this easy. I. Don't. Want. A relationship. With _you. _Or anybody else."

She was finally quiet, debating. "What is it about her that makes you like her so much? She doesn't dress like Tanya or Lauren or me. She wears hoodies and jeans. And she's a freak for always putting her hood up, even when it's not raining and when she's indoors."

I choked back a sigh. "That's what they call personality, Jane. Look it up on the dictionary, please."

"Dictionary? What dictionary?" Heidi was walking around the corner, holding the menu in her hands. She was raising an eyebrow, and all I could think was, '_oh thank god! About time you walked in on your sister trying to get me to break up with my Bella!' _

"N-n-nothing." Jane stammered, blushing as she simultaneously took a step away from me.

I looked back on my compositions and ran through them once more. Suddenly, a vibration from my pocket indicated that someone was texting me. I could only hope it wasn't Tanya, Lauren, or any of those girls that couldn't wait to get into my pants.

Flipping my phone open, I thumbed the screen, grinning when I caught sight of my display picture. I'd changed it to the time when Bella had first worn that black, lacy nightgown that starred in my, um, erotic dreams lately. She had the face of a sleeping angel, all curled around a pillow with her hair flowing around her.

And I'd selfishly taken the picture for some very inappropriate reasons.

But no, I will not confess to your inquiries whether or not I have jacked off to the picture. My mouth - or mind, for that matter - is sealed shut.

_Hi, Edward. For some reason, I just wanted to make sure you're alright. I had the strangest hunch ever and it's starting to freak me out. You have to reply me or call me asap. Please? I'm really worried. Love you. -Bella _

I laughed once and my fingers flew across the small keys, typing out my reply as quick as possible.

_Yeah, you should have come today. You missed out on Jane wearing a Lauren-inspired outfit. She was flirting up a storm, effectively convincing me to leave you. Love you (maybe?) too. -Edward_

Okay, I get it. It's lame for you to tease your worried girlfriend.

_What? Jane? As in, little Jane? No. NO. I'm going there right now. I don't give a shit whether or not you're working. You're coming home with me tonight and I'm going to make sure I rip her blonde hair off on the way. -Bella_

_Love, relax. Please. Take a deep breath. I was just joking. Forgive me? ;) -Edward_

_You freaking jerk! You had me convinced! God, Alice and Rosalie were on their way with plotting their revenge on her! You're an asshole. -Bella_

_I'm sorry. :( I had a really, really tough day. What with Jane and the piano and all . . . I'm really, really sorry. I'll make it up to you, I vow on my life. :( -Edward_

For Christ's sake, I was already tearing my hair out from all the pulling and yanking I was doing. I'd missed Bella; for some reason, Alice and the others had kidnapped her for today and I couldn't even join them. Because I'd missed a couple of days off duty, I had to make up for it with today's afternoon shift plus part of the night shift.

All in all, I really wasn't having the best day of my life.

Though, it isn't exactly the worst either. I would know, since the worst day of my life happened to stretch on between the period where Momma died, and when Carlisle and Esme had found me.

And yet, there was no reply from Bella.

Great, now I've pissed my girlfriend off too. Way to go, Masen. You freaking retard.

_See, see? What did I say about putting your foot in your mouth? Now you've done it! Bella will want to break up with you for sure! _The annoying voice screamed at me.

_No, she wouldn't do that . . . would she? _Another voice whispered back.

_Ha! Kiss my shit, conscience! You're finally admitting defeat to me! _Okay, I have no idea why the other voice was saying that. I sighed again and tried to block out the voices in my head; it was killing me. I grabbed onto my hair with clenched fists, pulling tightly. Man, I really needed Aspirin.

It must have been minutes because when I looked up again, Jane was gone, and so was Heidi.

Ugh, I could already hear the song by Daniel Powter, _Bad Day._

"Edward?" a tentative voice rang out from behind me. I whirled around, stunned, and immediately pulled Bella's waist closer to my body, burying my face in her ribs. She laughed and ran her fingers through my hair, soothing the pain away. She massaged it and ensured that I was okay before pulling away and promptly sitting on my lap.

"You had me worried." she whispered, burying her face in my neck.

I cleared my throat. "Sorry, really. I'm just being an asshole, I swear, I'll never do it again, if it pisses you off. And I guess it's sort of the truth, because I know how much you can't tolerate lying and-" I got cut off.

"And you're rambling." Bella chuckled. I smiled and kissed her luscious lips, lingering.

Pulling away, I said, "I thought you were with Alice and the others. Not that I'm complaining though."

She pursed her lips. "Actually . . . I'm going back to them later. I, er, well, I thought I'd pay you a visit, since you've been stuck here all day. But taking into account that Jane pulled a Lauren on you, I suppose I might have to start staking my claim."

"Staking your claim? Are you gonna pee on me or what?" I screwed my nose up in disgust.

"Hell no! Ew, that's so disgusting! I meant," she shifted, leaning closer and peeking up at me through her lashes, momentarily making me forget that Jane and Heidi still held their presence in the room, "that maybe I could stake my claim by doing _this." _

And then my innocent, sweet Bella turned into a complete seductress, straddling me as she tackled me with her mouth, her teeth taking in my lower one, her tongue tracing it.

Right there and then, I started to have really _improper _thoughts that should not be written. Whether on a piece of paper, or the computer screen.

I grinned against her lips and mirrored her movements, wrapping my arms around her tiny waist and crushing her to my body, removing any form of physical distance. She was like heat against my own flushed body, and she was just so good I couldn't help but let out a moan.

"Edward, what the heck?" I heard a very, very shocked voice suddenly scream out. My head disentangled from Bella's and we both turned to look at Charlotte's shocked expression. She didn't know whether to be angry or embarrassed for catching us making out. Customers were filling in the store, and I was completely oblivious to it.

My ears grew really hot.

"I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm actually not." I grinned sheepishly at Charlotte, who turned into the color of beet root. "Edward, I understand that you're curious, you're young, but please tell me you're using protection." she begged.

And there goes my mouth. "W-w-what? It's not-I don't even . . . oh, god!"

"Edward, shut up! You're making it worse!" Bella whispered fiercely.

Clearing my throat, I sat up straighter to match Char's gaze, lingering on the hand that was splayed around Bella's waist. "Char, before you get the wrong idea, I just wanted you to know that, yes, I'm being safe. But not by the way you think I should be - I plan to marry Bella first before having, er, sex with her." God, why did this feel so awkward?

But it worked like a charm. She smiled and nodded. "Good. But before you take things a teensy bit too far, Bella, you might want to get off Edward's lap. There are customers, you know."

My girlfriend turned bright tomato red. "Um, okay? I . . . yeah, I needed to get going anyway." Then she hopped off my lap and I'm left feeling weirdly empty and lost.

She gave me a quick peck on the cheek and looked into my eyes before saying, "I hope you're better now. Don't be so stressed, okay? Everything's going to be alright. I'll make sure of that. I love you." I was confused somewhere around the middle, but at the last part, I smiled widely, a goofy grin that seemed to spread throughout my face.

"I love you too, love. Now come here and give me one last kiss." I laughed and arrogantly held my head up high. I heard her laughter as she leaned down to kiss my puckered lips. It's probably stupid, but I wasn't going to enjoy the rest of the evening as much as I was enjoying it right now.

Now that doesn't even make sense, does it?

BPOV

I ran as fast as I could to my truck, trying to bear with the pain of the knowledge that I wouldn't be with Edward for quite some time. I was beginning to get sulky, and this afternoon, Alice herself commented on how much I seriously saddened without Edward around.

It's as if he holds my happiness with him wherever he goes. And if I wasn't with him, I turned completely pessimistic.

So the only solution I came up with was to visit Edward at the Lodge; no matter how short. I needed to see how he was doing, for both my peace and his. Calls and texts were simply not enough.

But for now, making Carlisle and Esme listen was the top priority. It was time for them to learn the truth.

Driving down the dirt-path leading towards the Cullen's home, I felt oddly pleased with myself for managing to keep this from Edward. I didn't want him to flip over or overreact, because I know that was what he'll do. Edward was a masochist, and unless someone stepped in to help, he wasn't going to spill about anything.

Edward needed help, but he wasn't speaking it.

Like I said, my boyfriend's a freaking masochist.

I parked Brandon beside the Cullen's gigantic garage and got out, taking a quick glance into the actual garage to check if Carlisle's Mercedes was in there.

Oh, wow. That's a really cool black car down there. Wonder where they got it . . .

_Bella! Focus! _I screamed at myself. Mentally slapping my cheek, I took a deep breath. So Carlisle and Esme were really here. They were _here. _They'd listened to Alice's plea about having a talk with them. I wasn't sure it would work, but I suppose that when it comes to Hurricane Alice, there really was no way to stop her.

Which is why I'm glad that I have my little family's back on this.

I knocked on the door, pausing. I heard a faint click, and then it opened, and Rosalie was looking at me with worry and nervousness in her eyes. She was fidgeting, her golden locks a mess, as she gestured me in silently. I took hold of her hand and squeezed it, trying to assure my friend that it _would _be okay.

The only problem was, I didn't know if it really _was _going to be okay. For all I know, this whole thing could just boil over.

Rosalie smiled tentatively and mouthed, 'thank you,' at me. I grinned wider and pulled her along to the Cullen's living room.

Doctor Cullen, Esme, Alice and the others were already seated. Alice was staring pleadingly at the doctor, who was shaking his head, his expression angry and impatient. Apparently, he was going for house calls, and he was becoming late for them due to this new development.

Em and Jazz looked really serious. I've never seen Emmett's face - one that was meant for you to smile at, not frown - so solid and expressionless before. He had his arms crossed at his chest, his body rigid and ramrod straight. His posture was so tense and wound so tight that I worried it would snap.

Jasper mirrored this exact form of Emmett's exactly, his alabaster brow furrowing in evident distaste. But his eyes revealed nothing.

And Esme was just looking back and forth, not sure what to say or to do.

Rosalie cleared her throat and everyone relaxed a bit at the sound. The doctor and his wife turned around to stare at me, while Em and the others just stared at me blankly. Except for Alice, who looked absolutely tired and worn out. She nodded once, strained, and sighed.

I pretended not to see her sagging body leaning against Jasper's protective one.

Guess I'll leave that for later.

"Hello, Isabella," Esme murmured. "Edward's-"

"Yes, I know. He's not here, isn't he? But I didn't come here for him specifically," I was on a roll, "I came to talk to you. Both of you." Her eyes widened while Carlisle stopped looking impatient. He blinked once and looked around.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Um, no, I'm not." I replied, moving over to take a seat beside Alice. She looked up pitifully at me, her eyes begging. She held my hand and Rosalie sat on the next available seat: on the floor. She, apparently, didn't want to be seated next to her adoptive parents.

Carlisle's expression was extremely calm, expectant. It scared me more than how his impatient expression did. "If Edward sent you-"

"He didn't. And you should stop putting the blame on _your _son." I interrupted him. He glared.

"He is no longer my son."

"Until July fourteenth, that is."

"You don't know me."

"Well, you don't know _him." _I very nearly growled. Taking another deep breath, I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. "Doctor, Mrs. Cullen, I need you to listen to what I have to say. I was not pressured to do this, neither do I feel obligated as Edward's girlfriend to tell you _his _side of the story. You don't know what really happened to him, and I'm afraid that maybe . . . maybe he really does need you. He needs all of you."

The doctor looked at me, his face patient once more. He wasn't taking shit from me today.

I tried to make my voice as convincing as possible. Surely there couldn't be another way to phrase this, could it?

As I looked at Alice, she nodded once and I turned back to Carlisle and Esme. "Before you found Edward, his mother died of cancer; leukemia. I believe she died in stage four, because her body just couldn't take it any longer. Edward was only six then, and his father went severely depressed. From the year that followed, Edward was abused on a daily basis. He even has the scars to prove it.

"One night, Edward's dad came home, drunk as usual, and he started off with the beatings that Edward had grown accustomed to. But then his father took things to a whole new different level, smashing a beer bottle against Edward's head and then repeatedly stabbing him constantly for it. Then, when he was done, he threw Edward out like an unwanted puppy, battered and broken, while he stood there laughing at his own son.

"That's the year that you found Edward. He literally crawled away from his broken household for thirteen miles. He didn't want to live a life full of pain, so he chose instead to walk, or rather, _crawl _away from it. His life was shitty, and due to this, Edward acted that way in order to forget. But he's changed. Even if I'm not there to see it, I can tell. So please, Carlisle, Esme, I beg of you two to forgive him. He _needs _this family."

But as I stared into their eyes, expecting shock or surprise, there wasn't any.

It's as if they're waiting for a child to finish their tantrum. Like they didn't give a shit on what I had to say, and were waiting patiently for me to finish like the polite people they were.

White hot anger flashed through me, making me want to whack them in their heads. I didn't care how crazy or inconsiderate that was, but still.

And after all that time I've revealed Edward's past to them, why weren't they feeling compassionate? Were they really that cold-hearted?

Carlisle began by sighing. "Listen, Isabella-"

"It's _Bella." _I cut him off frostily, fixing him a frosty glare.

He returned it. "What guarantee do I have that you are speaking the truth? For all I know, you could be lying. And unless there is pure, unadulterated evidence, I will not believe your phony lies."

I was furious, so furious that I felt as though I could scream at him. How dare he not believe me? "If Edward's scars are not a testament to that-"

"He told us it was from a gang fight." Esme cut me off, her eyes looking down. Good. At least she had the knowing to be ashamed. "And if you're saying that it really did come from all those beatings, then he would have said so himself."

Alice suddenly screamed, "Oh my god! Don't you guys get it? Edward was just trying to protect his father, the monster that did _that _to him! He didn't want you and Dad to go through the trouble of his past life with that hideous man! He was protecting both himself and _you! _God, you guys are just so . . . so self-absorbed, and heartless! And if his scars aren't proof enough, you can Google him as Edward Masen!"

But Carlisle was shaking his head fondly. "Oh, Alice, honey, do you know that the works of the internet can be fabricated?"

"Will you _listen _to yourself?" Rosalie screeched, throwing her hands in the air, her beautific face distorted in anger and frustration. "The dots are all there, you just have to connect it! Me, Em, Jazz and Al confronted Edward, and he told us the truth."

"Are you even sure it's the truth? For all we know, he could be lying." Carlisle smiled at her, his face annoyingly calm.

"But he's not," Emmett grunted, "It's easy to tell whether or not Edward's lying. His ears go red and he doesn't look straight into your eyes. I saw a picture of him, Dad, and it's taken with his former family."

"_Former, _Em." Esme corrected, "But that doesn't mean he can corrupt ours."

My mouth instantly filled with all the expletives I wanted to say, and Alice had to hold me back from lunging at the petite female who supposedly was the mother of my little family. I swear, I could just _throw _something at her now.

I couldn't believe it.

I just couldn't.

How can they believe the lie, and not the truth?

"Whatever story you're yakking about, I don't care. The disownment is final, and I will hear nothing more. That seminar your mother and I went to already has eaten most of my time at the hospital, and now I need to get back." Carlisle stood up and I could feel my heart getting crushed by what I just heard.

My plan - one to help Edward, whose been so depressed for the longest time - had backfired, thus making things worst. Carlisle and Esme would not listen, no matter how many times I could repeat Edward's story to them.

And right now, looking at Alice's torn face, I could start feeling the tears well up.

_Now _what am I going to do?


	24. Live Like You're Dying

_**Author's Note: Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Oh, god! As much as I'd love to ramble, I need to cut to the chase. So SUPER MEGA ULTRA GINORMOUS thank yous to MeFromMars (That's exactly why I hated writing Jane! When you're fourteen you're supposed to enjoy life, not act like a freaking slut. Seriously. I've seen girls who act that way. It's disgusting. I can't believe that you actually read the a/n! It's long . . . and, well, I don't expect people to really read it. =) But still, many thanks for the incredible encouragement! I sincerely appreciate it, I really do. What kind of an insane person would I be if I wouldn't? I think the most heartbreaking part of the movie was when Edward was trying to bring Bella back to life, and he was saying, "Come back to me please, baby. Bella, Bella please." I literally cried over that scene. He just looked so desperate and . . . well, all I could think was how well Rob was portraying that part. Let's just say that the part had me gripping at my boyfriend's arm as he looks at me in total confusion.), paulineavelino, twinofdarkness, maybebaby23, marzu93, AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234 (I'm really thankful that you've stuck with the story from the beginning. This gives me hope that there are people who really do care about it. =) I guess that I just wanted to make the revealing of Edward's past more grand . . . dramatic, you know? And I've spoilered Emmettroxmysoxoff that Siobhan will be introduced as a crucial part to Edward's past. I just hope that no one will get too antsy waiting for her to come around.), Bookishgrl26 (I've noticed that you've also reviewed my other story, The Beginning Of After. =) So thank you so much for the kind words you've said. I really do appreciate it. I get inspired to write more whenever someone types out lengthy, heartfelt reviews like yours. So thank you!), divickd (Isn't Carlisle and Esme just so heartless? Sometimes, it kills me to write them like that.), fanficftw, (LOVE your reviews. =D) and last but not the least, the VERY amazing Emoprincess98 (I loved hearing your view of the chapter, and it really made me want to write more. It's incredible. I haven't felt this inspired in a long time, especially since it's just after Christmas and all I want to do is procrastinate. =) But still, thank you for that lovely review. I've watched the CSI episode where JB participated in. And let me tell you, the minute I saw that weird hair of his, I immediately shut the TV down. CSI used to be my most favorite television series, but after that, I take every step possible to make sure I won't be watching the same episode with JB again. Hey, congrats on that 36.4! Gurl, you nailed it! I would say I'm proud of you, but wouldn't that make me sound like a mom? Lol, but either way, YOU ROCK GURL! I'm really glad your guy friends have got your back. People say that it's impossible for a girl who is best friends with a certain guy to not feel anything towards him. I don't believe it. AND YES! Blind dates are 20% cool, but 80% disastrous! I hate being set up, but thank god I'm already taken. It's just . . . *shivers* the blind dates are usually the worst. And finally, I don't really plan on taking the pill. I mean, yeah it's good and everything, in case you have sex out of wedlock, but I'm more of a wait-till-you're-married kind of person. It got me branded as a prude, but seriously? Who cares. I don't plan on being a teenage mom. Jeez, I've totally hogged the entire a/n! Sorry but that! And, as always, I LOVE YOU TOO. =D) **_

_**So I hope that you guys forgive me for the hogging. I didn't mean it! I swear! I just got carried away. =( And, I know it's kind of late, but still . . . BELATED MERRY CHRISTMAS! And if you got your heart broken when you were watching the scene whereby Edward was trying to revive Bella in Breaking Dawn, hey, feel free to leave a review! **_

_**Finally, huddle in that hoodie, grab a few munchkins, and ENJOY! **_

_**~Serene.**_

_**Disclaimer: How can I own Twilight when my writing career hasn't even started? **_

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

"Edward, you're going already? Come, bring home some burgers." Charlotte called from the kitchen as I stuffed my book-bag with sheet music and my brand new iPod, which Bella had surrendered to me the day before. "Oh, and bring some fries too! Peter overdid it today. There's just too much leftovers!"

Chuckling, I tossed my battered bag onto my shoulders before making my way over to the kitchen.

Chaos.

World War Three.

The Apocalypse.

That was what my opinion was about the scrambling staff in the kitchen. Everyone was screaming, pointing at the ground and shoving aside everyone else. I tried to see what they were pointing at, but I got shoved into the kitchen by someone. So I ended up sprawled pathetically on the ground, looking like an idiot while everyone fell on top of one another.

It seems as though my fall had a domino effect. Cool. That would teach the little sucker who pushed me some freaking manners.

Seriously.

I got up and hopped onto a counter. Charlotte was in Peter's arms, shouting and screaming like a mad woman. I've never seen her so frazzled before. It kind of freaked me out. And then Peter . . . god, he looked panic-stricken. And so did the rest of the staff.

What the heck is happening? Why was everyone pushing and shoving and falling? Was there an alien? An escaped animal from the Woodland Park Zoo? Oh, I know, maybe someone dropped their ring and everyone's panicking because whoever dropped their ring started screaming and everyone else got the wrong idea.

It was either those, or something way ridiculous than that.

"Dude, what the hell's happened?" I shouted at Demetri, who was the only one decent enough to just sit on one of the counter and start laughing at the scene.

He shrugged. "Don't really know. I'm just watching them go crazy."

"Well, any ideas?" I asked, fishing for information. Everyone was still screaming and shouting. It hurt my eardrums, reminding me that I'd once screamed and shouted for my life - only nobody heard me.

I'd resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn't be a member of the Cullen family any longer. It sucks, yeah, I mean, who wants to be disowned? And by your _adoptive _family, the one who was supposed to make up for the lost of your previous and original family. Of course, Momma's favorite quote was 'never say never,' but that's bullshit if you ask me.

Ah, shit. I shouldn't have thought about the disownment. Peter and Charlotte would know that something was up. I can't allow them to notice my certain distortion in focus. Plus, I still had that pending scholarship. I know that it's an opportunity of a lifetime, but there's already so much drama here that I find myself suffocating from it.

Thank god for the excursion to Europe. It could do me good staying away from this place. I'm starting to think that maybe Forks has a jinx or something.

"Oh my _fucking _god." Demetri suddenly cursed, shocking me. I whirled around to find him staring at his phone in horror. For a second, I was wondering if he was going to join in on the charade of people screaming frantically. It was then that I realized everyone had not given up acting like a lunatic yet.

"What? What?" I asked over the noise.

He showed the screen to me. _Hey, Demetri, Heidi here. Juz wanted 2 say dat U R amazing 2nite. Nvr heard U play sooo well b4. Want 2 meet 4 coffee 2morrow? My treat. :) _

Demetri held out his hand and I pinched it involuntarily. He flinched back and punched my arm hard. _Real _hard. We're talking humongous-wrestler-dude-who-suddenly-punches-you-and-you-almost-fall-off-your-seat hard. I'm not kidding about it. His punch could rival Emmett's.

I've noticed, why were most of the people I met somehow resembled Emmett? Like one of Bella's friends who looked like a wrestler - Emmett's type of physique. And now Demetri.

It's really weird to think about it.

Wait. _Everything _seems weird to me.

"Dammit dude, that freaking hurt!" Demetri howled with pain. He rubbed his forearm while I grinned evilly at him. "You're the one who started it, asshole. It was you who held out your arm." I retorted back.

"Shut up." he scoffed at me. "Wow. I can't believe it. She _actually _asked me out. Can you believe it? _Heidi. _Freaking Ms. Sex-On-Legs. Dude, I think I'm getting a boner just by thinking of her-"

I chose this moment to escape from his perverted talk. The old Edward would have loved to stayed in and listen to these type of sentences, but I'm not that guy anymore. Hearing someone else talk about carefree sex just made me . . . I don't know, cringe, maybe? After screwing nearly three hundred girls - maybe more - I think I'm done with doing it for some time.

Except, Bella just makes it damn difficult.

I know, I know, it's immature and rude, but what can I say? In a few more weeks, I'll be turning eighteen. An official man. But still in my teenage years. So, of course, my body's reacting to it by adding more hormonal thoughts in my already dirty mind.

Being a teenager sucks.

"Dem, dude, I think that's enough. Enough with the sex talk." I looked away from him and back to the mess that was the kitchen. A few people had stopped screaming, choosing instead to gape at Demetri's pants. I tried not to look at the same direction because I know whatever texts he was sending to Heidi, it would definitely be some real horny stuff.

And I'm trying to remain a quiet little boy who knows shit about sex.

"Will someone just tell me what the _heck's _going on?" I shouted at my loudest voice, everyone stopping in their tracks and mid-scream. Wow. Didn't know I had that loud a voice.

Charlotte grinned at me while Peter cringed. He had her in his arms, bridal style, and he was red with exertion. "Hey, Pete, maybe you should put your wife down. Your vein's popping out of your head now."

"Shut up, Edward." Peter lifted Char higher, as if to prove that he could stand her weight. Don't get me wrong, Charlotte's far from heavy, but Peter has hardly exercised since he stepped out of high school. Or at least, that was what I thought of it.

"Okay, I gotta jet. See you 'round, Edward." Demetri hopped off from his seat on the counter and gathered up his stuff. "Hey, here's the sheet music you loaned me. Thanks to them, I've officially landed a date with the hottest chick in Forks. I mean, apart from your girlfriend and all . . ."

"Dem? Just shut the hell up. _Now." _I warned him.

"Shutting." he chuckled and darted out of the way before I could chuck something at him. He was out the door in a minute as I continued to sit there, looking like a dumbass. The staff had yet to stop screaming, and despite my many tries, no one would answer me. It's infuriating, I swear it is.

Maybe I should just follow Demetri's lead and get the shit out of here. After all, tomorrow I'd be on my way to Europe. And I'd be a goner if I didn't feel the single twinge of excitement. I mean, come on, it's _Europe. _It's across the Atlantic Ocean. Who wouldn't enjoy something like that? Even if the trip does turn out to be some shitty thing.

Since I was picked to be the leader of group five - which has been renamed to Midnight Sun - I had to step up and buy some sort of team identity for my group. Angela's group had some awesome bandannas, Tyler got some friendship bands, Emmett bought personalized t-shirts, and Eric got this really cool pins.

As for me? I'm coming up with nothing, and the rest of my team has been butchering me with ideas that seemed ridiculous. I mean, I appreciate their help and everything, but what smart asshole would walk down the street - even if it's in Europe - wearing nothing but your underwear?

My group was unique; girls vivacious, boys hyper-active. Okay, maybe not technically in that order. The boys acted real immature at times, and the girls were okay, but I had to keep my eye on them ninety percent of the time. Who knows what they might do? They're kind of wild, but compared to Emmett's team - who were all goths - I had it easy.

Hey, at least I didn't have to act all cheery and stuff. Emmett was basically _babying _his group.

Let me just come out and say that his group's name happened to be Breaking Dawn. Angela's was Twilight. Eric was New Moon's, and Tyler's was Eclipse. My team was the first one who came up with the names, and everyone wanted to sound connected to each other, so they all chose the different stages of the night.

Bella thought it was stupid. But she didn't attempt to hide her smile when I teased her group's name.

'"Um, guys, I don't know about you, but I need to go. I still have a flight to-" I began.

"NO!" Charlotte suddenly screamed, cutting me off as she looked desperately at me. "No way! Stay for a few more minutes! I . . . I need to talk to you about some of your compositions!"

Huh? "Char . . . it's getting late. I have a nine and a half hours worth of flight tomorrow." I tried to say gently, but by this time, she had already wedged her way to me. She clutched onto my forearm and looked me in the eyes.

What was this all about?

"EVERYONE QUIET!" Peter yelled, obvious irritation and exasperation in his voice. I turned to look at him, and he was staring away from me. Seriously, what the hell's going on?

Hold up.

Char said she wanted to talk about my compositions . . . were they not good enough? Were they too intense? Maybe people who enjoyed food here preferred to thoroughly pleasure themselves in the dishes Peter so painstakingly cooked? Shit. Shit, shit, shit. What if that's the reason? Am I going to get fired?

I _knew _I should have worked harder.

Ah, crap. This was the only-

It was then that I looked down to the ground, where everybody's gaze had now locked upon.

A single ant - one that was so tiny you wouldn't be able to see without the ray of light from a torch one of the servers were shining upon it - was crawling around, unsure of where to go. It looked trapped. Just like how I felt whenever I thought about the goddamned disownment.

That . . . _that _was what they were screaming after?

For crying out loud. People need to get their priorities right!

Generally shoving Charlotte away, I walked calmly to where the ant was still crawling and deliberately bent. I grabbed a wad of tissue paper, gently picking up the tiny thing, and made my way over to the window, where I just threw the tissue away. The ant would survive. I was sure of it.

Ugh. I sound like a tree hugger. Not that I hold any offense towards them. It's cool that they're trying to save the world and everything.

"See? Problem solved. Now we can all just go home, enjoy a warm shower, and just get the hell over this stupid issue." I admit, I _am _cranky. But who wouldn't be after realizing that you're about to lose your job? A job that you _need _in order to literally survive? What would I use to pay for that apartment back in Port Angeles . . .

Wait.

Back up for a second.

Port Angeles had some tattoos stores which sold some temporary tattoos which we could just soak in water and then slap it on our arms or backs, right? Oh, man. Why didn't I think of that earlier? I don't think that there's enough time to create a personalized one, is there? I mean . . . I've only got until ten in the morning tomorrow.

My only hope would be if Alice helped to find my missing duffel bag. Then I can stuff some t-shirts and boxers and a few pairs of jeans. I wouldn't need anything fancy now, would I? I mean, from the brochure Mr. Berty gave us, it didn't seem like we were going to some high class, social event of the year.

"Wow . . . er . . . thanks, Edward?" Char broke through my racing thoughts. If I was going to get personalized tattoos, I would have to leave, _now. _Due to the present time, I could only wish that it hasn't closed yet. Most stores in Port Angeles closes down at around one or two in the morning. Then they open at ten or eleven.

"Yeah. No prob." I raced to my bag and quickly checked my phone. Good. No missed calls or messages. "Er, I really gotta leave. I'm kind of-"

By now, everyone was relieved and clapping me on the back as they proceeded to leave the kitchen. Everyone except for Peter and Charlotte, that is. Peter was rooted to the ground, unable to meet my gaze, and Charlotte was making her way over to me. "There's something I have to tell you, Edward. It's important."

I leaned back. "You can tell me now. I really have to leave."

She took a deep breath and I took her by the shoulders. "Char, whatever it is, I'm sure I can keep up. It's not like I'm going to die, is it? Besides-"

"It's not that, Edward. Of course you're not going to die. It's just . . . you know that there used to be an article about your father sentenced to death, but then he got off and was sent to an mental institution instead?" she whispered.

The stiffening of my back and neck immediately gave me away. "What about it?"

Charlotte looked uneasy. "Well . . . I know you don't like discussing about your mom, but did you know that her will and testament was finally revealed yesterday?"

Speechless, I only looked at her.

"Yeah. And, uh, she was supposed to leave some of it to your dad, like your house and her piano and everything. But then he was hospitalized, and everything changed. Police and even some FBI have renewed the hunt for Eddie Masen once more. Edward, they're looking for _you." _

"What does this have to do with me? Ten years, and they won't drop it?" I seethed.

Charlotte gasped and Peter moved in. "What do you mean? You don't want to be found?" he demanded. His eyes made me realize that both he and Char treated me as though I was their long-lost son. I winced, remembering what Charlotte had said about Charles.

I frowned. "No. Not in that sense. But what's the point? In just a few weeks, I'd be an adult in the right world. I'll be eighteen. I can live whatever life I want to live, get a job, accept that scholarship to Julliard or whatever. That search for me is stupid."

"It's not!" Char protested. "You could just turn your life around and state that you're Elizabeth Masen's child! She was a piano prodigy, and since that video on Youtube went viral, everyone will know who you are! Someone's bound to connect the dots, Edward! And think of your mother-"

Choosing this moment to interrupt her, I growled, feeling my temper rise. "You don't know anything, Charlotte. I know you mean well, and yeah, I think of Momma _every single freaking time. _But I don't want to get involved in this shit. I made that decision when I ran away years ago."

Actually, _crawled _away.

"Dozens of people are looking for you, and that doesn't even bother you?" she questioned.

I sighed. "Char . . . you know me. I don't want to know anything. I'm not a Masen anymore. In fact, on July fourteenth, I won't even have a surname."

"What?" Peter cut in, his eyes shooting daggers at me. "What do you mean?"

My hands clenched of their own accord, and I looked away from his gaze. It felt too patronizing and filled with so much sympathy, I didn't think that I could take it. "Carlisle and Esme . . . they've decided to disown me." I confessed.

Silence.

I cleared my throat, breaking the long pause. "I'm sorry, Char, Pete. But I really gotta go." I grabbed my book-bag and left the kitchen in a hurry, heading for my Volvo. The need to get away was nearly suffocating. Even in front of them, I had to put up a front. What was it about adults that I couldn't find trust-worthy?

God. I had major problems.

Number one: that freaking disownment.

Number two: a pending scholarship to Julliard which I'm considering taking, but what about Bella? I won't - can't - leave her.

Number three: the whole of Chicago, and possibly even the whole of the United States of America, might been looking for me.

How the hell am I suppose to dismiss that?

BPOV

Okay. Don't panic. You can do this.

I looked at the garment bag. Who am I kidding? Of course I can do it! I mean, it's only wearing a simple dress, isn't it? It's not the end of the world. I'm not dying, Edward's not dying, Dad's not dying, shit, _no one's _dying! So why am I flustered?

Gulping, I took a step closer to the garment bag and touched the sheet, feeling the soft/rough texture of it. It reminded me of cotton, yet it reminded me of something else. The bag seemed to be taunting me. _Open me, open me! _It's saying.

Jeez, where was Alice when I needed her?

Oh, right. She's downstairs in her room, doing god-knows-what with Jasper.

After the talk with Carlisle and Esme, everyone retreated to their own shells. Alice and Jazz had headed up to their room to talk about some 'stuff.' Emmett spent his time wisely. Instead of his usual video-gaming regime, he helped Rose with her draft for the wedding guests. She had recently invited me to become her bridesmaid - along with Alice, of course - but it was kind of complicated.

This, however, didn't explain the highly expensive evening dress that Alice had bought for me during one of her trips.

See, I was supposed to be staying here for the night. In spite of my fear that Carlisle and Esme were going to see me here and blow a lid off, a devious little pixie and one gorgeous blondie begged me to stay over for the night. They told Esme, okay, well, they guilt-tripped her into allowing me to stay for the night.

Esme reminded me of my own mom. For months now, I haven't even spoken to her. My guess was that she'd given up trying to talk some sense into me, because throughout all her endless phone calls and e-mails, I had hardly replied to any of them. Of course, Charlie sent her updates of my well-being.

Back then, due to the whole separation thing, both my mom and dad barely even talked to each other. Sure, Dad visited me often, but it was never enough for him. I knew this because of the talk I'd overheard him having with Edward.

I was starting to wonder if my mom even cared I existed or not. The last time I heard Dad talked to her, it was two weeks ago. And he'd said something about Renee moving out of Jacksonville. He'd said that the job wasn't working for Phil, so he decided to go back out there and try out different options.

In short, Phil was going to redo college.

And he was young enough to pass for it, too. I like Phil, I really do, but sometimes . . . it's hard to wrap around the idea of my mom shacking up with a guy barely eleven years older than me.

I looked at the garment bag and sighed. Maybe I should just stuff it inside the suitcase Emmett had lugged out of the storeroom for me. I could just try it on in Paris, and when it doesn't fit right, I can just go to Edward's surprise party wearing my favorite hoodie and jeans.

The only problem would be Alice biting my head off, and Rosalie helping her as well. Emmett and Jasper - my 'brothers' - would probably just stand there and laugh as my two best girlfriends murder me.

And yeah, Edward was going to have a surprise party. I mean, come on! His birthday happens to fall during the excursion to Europe, so of course I had to organize something! He is my freaking boyfriend for crying out loud!

But the thing was that I've never gone this far for any guy before. Not even my dad, or my ex-boyfriend. Or Jacob. It should have probably scared me or something, but I was just really glad that I loved Edward _that _much.

So should I try the dress on now, or later in Paris?

The brochure said that we would be in Paris for the day Edward's birthday fell in. Since we were staying in a hotel, complete with a five-star restaurant that I was going to have dinner with Edward in, I'd figured, why not let Edward enjoy top quality Italian food? And he deserved it too, after a really troublesome year.

I'd planned for Edward and I to have dinner in that restaurant in the hotel, afterwards, we were going to head up to the rooftop and light special fireworks. I would make it look as though Edward and I were holding our very first date together, and then when I'd give the signal, Alice and the others - including everyone from our batch - would creep behind him and shout, "Happy birthday!"

And then the _real _party would start.

The main flaw of this?

I had to wear a dress that may or not look like a thousand dollars. Make that a million. The tag that hung out of the garment bag read, _Valentino. _I don't even know what the hell that meant. But the name scared me.

At times like this, only a mother knew what was best. So maybe this whole thing was like a signal, making me wish to call my mom and tell her everything that has happened to me. I missed her like crazy. Her voice, her face . . . her _Victoria's Secret _perfume. I missed how scattered brain she was, and how easy I got along with her.

I really miss Mom.

By impulse, I grabbed my cellphone. I know it probably seemed like a crazy idea, I mean, what were the chances of her picking it up after all the months of me ignoring her? But I _had _to do it. I know how painful it is for Edward to be without his real mom, and he'd been drilling it in my head to make amends to my own.

The screen read, 'connected,' and I freaked out.

"Hello?" Mom's recognizable voice rang out sleepily. Mouth hanging open, I choked out, "_Mom!" _

"Bella?" she gasped, louder, and I heard another man's voice stirring. Phil. "Oh, baby! Are you okay? Sweetheart, you must tell me everything! Did something happen to Charlie? Where are you? Honey, I'm so glad you called! Are you okay?" she demanded once more.

"Calm down, Mom! Everything's fine! Everything's . . . perfect!" I cheered, tears springing into my eyes. "Mom, I've missed you so much! Lots of stuff happened and . . . and Mom, I've met this really nice boy. His name is Edward, Mom, and he's my boyfriend."

I could hear my mother's gasp of surprise ringing out. "Your _boyfriend? _Oh, honey, I'm so happy! But wait, what about Jacob?"

"It's a long story, Mom. And you seem like you need sleep." My eyes were still wet from the relief of hearing her voice. "But aren't you mad at me?"

"_Mad? _Why on earth would I be mad at my only daughter? Sweetie, I'll never be mad at you! I understood that you needed your space, so I stopped calling you and everything else. But that never made me stop thinking about you, or worrying, actually. Tell me more about this boy of yours. Is he a hippie?"

"No! He's actually really-"

Edward's sweet, musical voice suddenly interrupted me, making me jolt in surprise. I was still standing in his room._ The bag! _I realized. Quickly, I moved to cover it, looking at Edward. "Love?" he called out to me, opening his arms out wide. I grinned at him and shook my head, pointing to my phone. He studied the drying tears and smiled encouragingly.

"Honey, who was that? Is it your boy? Where are you?" Mom's last question had an edge to it.

"I'm sleeping over at my, um, friend's place Mom. Edward's sisters and brothers happen to be my best friends here. And before you can worry, no, I won't be sleeping in the same bed as he will be sleeping in. He has an entire floor to himself, can you believe it? Even our old house at Phoenix isn't as big as his bedroom is!" I ranted, happy that I could talk to my mother like old times.

She chuckled through the phone. "Baby girl, if you could only hear yourself now! Can I talk to him, Bella? I'd like to have a word with him." I looked at Edward, who now had his attention on some . . . what was it? The plastic bag he was peering in stated, 'Paradise Tattoos.'

Huh. Why would Edward visit a tattoo shop and come out with a plastic bag? Weren't people supposed to come out with _tattoos? _

"Uh, Edward?" I called out to him. He looked up and smiled, opening his arms once more, inviting me to sit on his lap. He was currently resting on his sofa, the plastic bag now thrown to the floor by his feet. "Yes, love?"

God, if only he knew how much I liked it when he called me 'love.' Oh jeez, now I sound like a bimbo or something.

"My mom wants to talk to you . . . is that okay?" I asked him, moving over so that I could sit on his lap. As his warm arms wrapped tenderly around me, I couldn't help but release a sigh of relief. It had been a long day, what with Carlisle and Esme and the whole failure of my initial plan. And then there was the garment bag, which I had successfully stuffed in the suitcase Em gave me while Edward was busy looking inside the plastic bag.

He grinned my favorite smile and nodded. "Of course."

I pressed my phone to his ear and he leaned his head on my shoulder. Then, when the position got quite awkward, I shifted around until I was seated beside him. He looked at me brokenly before muttering, "You're too far, Bella."

Patting my lap, I smiled at him. He understood and laughed quietly before lying down full on and laying his head on my lap. I massaged his scalp, feeling the tensions on his neck, and gently combed through his messy bronze hair. The same hair which I love.

"Yes, Mrs. Dwyer. No, Mrs. Dwyer. Er, you want me to call you Renee, then, ma'am?" Edward's voice was calm, but I knew it so well that I could hear the nervousness piling away behind his demeanor. "My e-mail address? Phone number? Sure, ma'am. I will send a message to you indicating my e-mail address, in that way, you'll get both my number and e-mail. Yes, ma'am."

These one-sided conversations are so freaking hard to decipher.

Edward was chuckling as I pulled on his hair, irritated that I couldn't understand what my mom was saying to him. It was all just a buzz in the background.

"Okay, I'll pass you back to Bella. But before I do that, I'd just like to say that I love her. I really do. And I'd take a bullet for her any day, anytime, anywhere. She's the most important thing to me, and I can't bear to lose her. But thank you, Renee," Edward said warmly, smiling at me, his emeralds glinting in the light, "for raising Bella to be who she is today."

He passed the phone back to me. I leaned my head down to give him one quick but passionate kiss. Pulling back, there was a strange light in Edward's eyes. He looked almost . . . sad. I touched his furrowed brow and shook my head at him. "Smile," I instructed, frowning as well.

Edward made a show of smiling a really goofy smile, and I laughed. "Okay, Mom, now you have my undivided attention." I told my mother over the phone, still peeking curiously at Edward, who had now gotten his head off my lap. He was wondering around the room, and I realized belatedly that he held an empty duffel bag in his hands.

"I've got to admit, Bella, that boy certainly is charming. And I haven't even seen him yet!" Renee laughed.

"Trust me, Mom, when you see him, you'll be blown away!" I enthused, watching Edward stuff t-shirts and jeans and boxers into the bag while simultaneously yawning. There was the mere evidence of eye-bags layered beneath his eyes and I internally started chiding myself for not taking care of him better.

"Oh, trust me, I plan on meeting him soon enough. Now you have to tell me everything that happened to you since you've left Phoenix!" Mom demanded, all trace of sleepiness erasing from her voice.

So I told her everything. From my first day at Forks, all the way to the closure trip Edward made me take. Every single detail of how Edward and I met, how I used to view Alice as a psychotic girl who held no emotions for her brother, and of course, to Edward's disownment, which, from Edward's place in the room, I could see him stiffening the slightest bit.

I didn't dare mention about the failure of my talk with Carlisle and Esme. Edward was already suffering so much depression lately. It's better if he knows nothing.

Mom growled, "What I can't understand is, how can a parent be so . . . cold? Everyone makes mistakes, but the point is for them to step up and apologize and become a better person! How dare they call themselves parents! They're just irresponsible people themselves!"

I seethed along with her as well. "Exactly! They're just so stubborn with their own, convoluted sense of righteousness that they don't want to see the hidden truth!"

"Hidden truth?" Mom suddenly asked. Oh, shit. I've given away too much. "Er, Mom, I think I need to go now. It's kind of late . . . and I've got an excursion to Europe tomorrow . . ."

"Oh, right! Charlie mentioned that to me! Sweetie, you take care of yourself, okay? E-mail me as much as possible when you're there! And send pictures! Lots and lots of pictures! I've always wanted to see the Eiffel tower in person." she said wistfully.

"Well, maybe you can see it on your second honeymoon with Phil." I suggested, and I could almost see her smiling widely. "How I wish. Times are hard, but Phil's working so hard. We'll get through it. I know we will."

And anyone could hear the admiration in her voice.

"Mom?" I called.

"Yeah, sweetheart?"

"I miss you." I whispered brokenly.

"Oh, baby, I miss you too. Now go get some sleep. Before you go for your flight, call me, okay?" she asked me urgently. I nodded, but then I forgot that she couldn't see me. "I'm nodding my head, Mom." I laughed awkwardly.

"And I'm kissing you on the cheek, Bella. Talk to me more, sweetheart. I love you."

"Love you too. Bye, Mom." I reluctantly closed my phone. Looking up, I could see Edward lounging on his bed, shirtless, wearing baggy workout pants. His eyes were closed, mouth hanging slightly open, arms resting behind his head. He didn't look serene in his sleep, but he sure did looked washed out. It wasn't as if he slept because his body told him to, it looked as if he _really _needed to.

I walked over to where my angel - yes, I call him that every now and then, especially after the Phoenix trip - and touched his stressed out face. Even while he rested, his eyebrows didn't loosen up. Edward looked like he grew up too fast, and maybe he did.

Could someone who had chosen to act mature and completely independent have a second chance at living his childhood? If so, would Edward even _want _to revisit his past?

And in that second, I knew enough of Edward to understand that he _does _want his stolen childhood back, and of course, I would do my damnedest to give that to him. Carlisle and Esme may be another hurdle, but for the next two weeks, Edward was going to experience the best two weeks of his life.

I'd guarantee it.


	25. My Heart

_**Author's Note: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I honestly CANNOT believe the reviews I've gotten! Someone pinch me now! Okay, well, not technically . . . I mean, some of you might be really good pinchers and . . . and I'm rambling. Sorry about that. =( Well, ULTRA MEGA HUGE GINORMOUS HUMONGOUS thanks to twinofdarkness, Shinpi-no-Flame (that was a killer review. =) well, what do YOU think? Will something bad happen while Edward and the gang are in Europe? *smiles cheekily*), MeFromMars (Girl, you are amazing. Thanks for reading my other story, The Beginning Of After. I know that it's very different from CYKAS, but I wanted to expand my horizons; be versatile. I mean , a true author should be able to do several different types of writing, right? But I have to say, I ****really ****wasn't expecting to get such good reviews for TBOA. I'm just really glad that there are really people who love reading my work. And yeah, I feel honored that I make people feel at home whenever they read my reviews. Also, they'll be visiting Germany as well. It's been such a long time since I've last heard that 30stm song . . . I MUST listen to it once more! =D), AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234, Bookishgrl26, dvickd (that scene killed me too! My eyes betrayed me *I'd pledged not to cry because of that scene* but I ended up breaking that stupid pledge anyway. I just couldn't take the emotion that scene held. Your reviews are just so constructive and intuitional that I feel really taken aback! And I'm going to spoiler you that, yes, I DO have something off my sleeve. ;) I do hope you'll stay on board for the rest of the journey though. And that cyber kiss you gave me will come right back to you! MWAH! =D), No- He's MY Monkey Man (I'm really glad you've found my work really interesting. Like I said earlier, I try to be versatile and alter the way I write. It's sort of imperative for me to write differently, because I can't seem to write in the same way twice. Many, many thanks for loving TBOA. Don't worry, I love it too. =) I love that you enjoy this story as well. So, thank you.), Nandi Dilla-Cullen, and of course, Emoprincess98 (You don't have to apologize for anything. I don't mind not getting consistent reviews from you, and you haven't let me down. I don't think you ever will, anyway. ;) I've been through several blind dates before, and GOD, they suck to the freaking core! Do you really believe in 2012? Because I don't. Not to sound all weird or anything, but I find that if the world does end, I'm going to live every second as if it were my last. You're not the only nerd here, I am too. :) Always have been from the very beginning. I've seen that JB movie, because my class decided to do an outing together one day. Halfway through the show, I ended up running away from the movie theatre. I mean, seriously? -.- And yeah, I see the person. =D You're amazing as always, pixie. And I love you thissssssssssssssssss much. Okay, it's more than that, but you get what I mean. Stay pretty! =D) **_

_**Wow, I didn't waste so much space rambling now, did I? Finally, if you're on Team Twilight because you just can't seem to choose between Edward and Jacob, hey, the review button is open to all! =D**_

_**ANNOUCEMENT: I am so damn, damn, damn sorry about the delay of uploading the chapters. I've been really busy with school lately and I have extra-curricular activities happening after school. I find it difficult to squeeze in some time for writing chapters, and I hope none of you will eat me alive for not updating weekly. ='(**_

_**But anyway, grab that hoodie, huddle in that seat, and ENJOY! **_

_**P.S. This chapter is almost like a breather. It can't always be drama, drama and more drama, right? But of course, breathers always hide something . . . something hideous. Shit. I've just spoilered you guys . . .**_

_**Disclaimer: Give me Stephenie Meyer and a contract to owning Twilight, only then will I sign a deal with the devil. Muahahaha. **_

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

Whoever said that you couldn't sleep in the same bed with your girlfriend and not feel aroused is definitely an overlaid asshole with absolutely nothing to do with his life.

But sometimes, eg: RIGHT NOW, with your Aphrodite girlfriend pressed up against you, snoring delicately into your collarbone, there's an exception to that little thought. I find it difficult to extricate myself from her, probably because I _don't _want to. And also because if I did, I'll end up not being able to resist, thus my return to my king-size bed.

Bella cuddles closer to me, and my arms automatically pull her into my body.

Okay fine. I'm _not _having proper thoughts that should be written on this page. Because if you were to read them, you'd get a hell load of shit. My eyes flickered towards the plastic bag of temporary tattoos.

I guess I probably should thank the shop for not closing on time, and my extra cash in my pocket. If I hadn't bribed them, I wouldn't be here this morning all set for the excursion.

Europe . . . god freaking _Europe. _

A few weeks away from all of this suffocating drama . . . a few weeks away to take my mind off the disownment, the fact that there were people looking for me. A few weeks away from everything. I could handle that. Hell, it's practically a _vacation. _

Do I deserve it?

I don't know.

But I sure as heck won't take it for granted.

Checking the time on my phone - I always kept it underneath my pillow - I realized that it was probably time for me to wake Bella up. I had no idea how she ended up sleeping beside me, but I knew that I appreciated it. These last two days without barely seeing her drove me crazy. Without the distraction of work, I would've been sent to a mental institution.

Probably the same one Daddy's in.

Ah, crap . . .

Bella started stirring, sensing something wrong, and I recalled last night's phone call with her mom. For some reason, I was glad that she was back on speaking terms with her mother. Maybe I've learned enough from past mistakes to at least try and appreciate the efforts a mother would do for her children.

Yeah, mom's are weird and everything, but at the end of the day, you wouldn't be living if it weren't for them.

Momma taught me that. She taught me everything worth learning. From my passion of playing the piano, to learning how to let go of her hand when her time came.

The one thing she never taught me?

How to love fully.

Even with Bella . . . sometimes I find it difficult to really look at her and say 'I love you,' because of what happened with Momma. I don't want anything happening to her, and I'd do my damnedest to protect her. Phoenix was just a test, and Bella has everything set on her plate. And I'd be a total jerk if I didn't admit that I'm happy her.

I just wonder why the heck she chose me out of those other people.

But Europe . . . it's a breather for me. I can finally get some rest. And that's a good thing, I think.

Gently nudging Bella, I kissed her smooth forehead, hearing a crack from the back of my neck. Ugh, it's too stiff, I swear. I flopped my head back onto the pillow and smiled at my still sleeping girlfriend. "Bella, love, wake up." I touched her hair when she shifted to lay her head on my chest, her hands automatically curling around my waist.

"Later . . ." she mumbled into my bare skin. "Sleepy . . ."

As I laughed, she grumbled, "Come on, let me get my sleep. Wasn't done kissing you in my dream yet . . ." And then I felt the familiar cheeky grin spread across my face. It's been awhile since I last used it, so I leaned into her ear and whispered, "Then let's make it reality." Grabbing her face almost roughly, I pushed her off my chest and rolled us, so that I was on top.

I kissed her, forgetting about morning breath for once. I was just going with the flow, and for god's sake, I was going to Europe today! Of _course _I'd feel excited.

Bella's eyelids fluttered against my cheek as I attacked her face with hungry kisses. For some reason, with her wrapped in my arms like this, it felt like I didn't want to ever stop. Not in the intimate sense of wording, but more of the fact that I just couldn't help but want to spend more time with her. Obviously, I wanted her in _that _way, but I had to resist it.

She deserves to be loved in the proper way, not in a relationship fueled by sex.

Her lips claimed mine, seeming territorial, and her fingers twined themselves in my hair, pulling at them slightly. My breath came out as a rush, probably because I've been panting ever since I'd first attacked her. My right arm curled around her tiny waist, feeling her exposed skin and almost losing myself in the heat of the moment.

As pansy as this might sound, my head was filled with her strawberry shampoo. It was everywhere. In my sheets, my pillows . . . god, that sounded wrong. But the perverted idiot inside of me growled with annoyance. He wanted Bella, and he wanted her _now. _

_Come on, Eddie boy. It's not like you're going to find another girl better than this hot piece of ass you're straddling now. Look at you, you're already having a boner just by-_

_Shut up asshole. Let me make-out with my girlfriend without the need to screw her. _I'd cut off the maniac living inside of me, and suddenly I found that I could make barriers so much easier with the guidance of the somewhat reasonable voice inside my head.

Yeah, I think I'm heading towards Insanity Village soon enough. Where's that damned taxi when I needed it?

Minutes passed, or at least, I _thought _it was minutes. Even though I've been with Bella for quite some time now, the electricity that charged through between us was still there. In this instance, it seemed as though it grew even more pronounced. The AC system was still on full blast, but I didn't get why I was feeling so damn warm.

My arm finally reached her calf after it was done exploring the length of her long, long legs. I hitched it up, bringing my lips down south towards her pulse point. Nipping at it, I grinned as Bella's hands tightened on the small of my back.

She started to move her little hands to my stomach, and shit, I think I might need to get someone to fix the AC. Her hands were warm as she traced my muscles. I thanked god that I was blessed with the need to work out every three times a week or so back in the past. With my busy schedule and everything, I managed to keep those abs of mine.

And yeah, I pride myself in having a six-pack.

I pressed myself closer to Bella. Her breathing stopped, her racing heartbeat - which I felt pounding against my chest just seconds ago - halted as well. Immediately the protective side of me took over the sex-crazed one, and I found myself pulling away from Bella and leaving a two feet gap between us.

Her eyes had just snapped open when I'd stared at her face. Bella's cheeks were blushing and I felt the weird urge to pinch them. She just looked so . . . cute. Yeah, that's right. She looked cute.

Bella started breathing hard once more and her hands reached for the back of my head, bringing me back to her. "No, wait, Bella. We should-" I began.

"Edward, it's-it's okay. Just need to ca-catch my breath. And I've missed you. So . . . much." With that, I groaned with defeat and brought my lips back to hers. I tried to take it nice and slow, because I didn't want Bella to have a heart attack. That kind of stuff just can't be good for her, right?

So when she started throwing herself at me, her legs automatically wrapping around my waist as she pressed her body against mine, I just about lost it. I forgot for an instant that I was supposed to be protecting her from an impending heart attack, I forgot that this was inappropriate. Hell, I forgot that I didn't want to take her without marrying her first.

Just as Bella's hands travelled down my back, my door suddenly burst open and Emmett's booming voice blasted, "Edwaaaard, get your ass-OH, SHIT! Hey Rosie, come look at this!"

Our lips came off each other with an audible smack, which just made the entire thing even more embarrassing. My ear were warm, I was panting like a dog, and Bella's legs unwrapped from my waist awkwardly. Glaring at my favorite brother, I growled, "What the hell are you doing here, Em?"

He cackled, sounding like a maniac. That's when I realized that he wasn't alone. Alice, Jasper and Rosalie stood beside him, Jazz leaning against the door-frame, his arm casually slithered across Alice's tiny shoulders. What. The. _Hell. _Happened?

I shook my head and took a deep breath, pulling a blushing Bella onto my lap as I sat up scowling at them. Bella hid her face in my neck as Rosalie spoke for them. "We couldn't find Bella anywhere in the house, and you weren't awake yet, so we figured that Alice and I would look for her while Em and Jazz wakes you up. We weren't expecting to see you guys all curled around each other. And hot damn! Look at your windows, dude. They're all fogged up!"

Rose burst out laughing, holding her hand to her stomach and throwing her head back as she leaned against her fiance for support. I merely glared at them. Jasper and Alice spared no second thought for me.

Seriously, I don't know whether to join in with their laughter, or to stay mad at them for so rudely intruding into my room.

"Now that all of you are done laughing, can you please explain to me why you guys are in my room?" I asked once their laughter died down.

"Well, Rose and I couldn't find Bella anywhere in the house, and Jazzy and Em were busy plotting their secret 'burst-into-Edward's-room-and-get-him-to-scream-like-a-girl' plan. So we all figured that there could only be one room where Bella and you be: and that's _your _room, brother dear." Alice snickered, leaning into Jasper's side.

I raised an eyebrow at their contact but they only grinned widely. "We're back together now, by the way." she informed me, her smile able to make even a blind man see the brightness of it. Jasper pulled her in closer just as Bella gasped aloud, sitting up.

Her head knocked against mine and I flinched back in pain. But I wasn't that concern about my bruised head. Reaching over to smooth the tender spot near Bella's temple, I gave it a quick squeeze as I murmured a sorry. "You okay there, sweetheart?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." then she turned to Ali. "How did you and-"

"Long story cut short, we're taking this new relationship nice and slow. We talked things out yesterday and . . . well, how can I resist this charming man of mine?" Alice cooed to Jasper, cupping his chin while he smiled this really weird smile that made me think that they did way more than just 'talk things out.'

Oh for god's sake.

"Oh my god! Congrats, guys!" Bella thrilled and leapt away from the halo of my arms to rush over and hug my little sister and Jasper. He smiled apologetically at me over the top of my baby's head, all the while his gray eyes twinkled with secret.

I sighed and walked over to where they were, waiting for Bella to move aside so I could hug Alice. I pumped Jazz's fist while I kissed Ali's head. She giggled into my chest and I pulled away. "I would say 'last long,' but that's jinxing it, isn't it?" I asked her.

The little pixie only laughed. "I'm just glad you didn't kill Jazz for not making the move faster."

"If I killed him, you would have to kill me later. You know, for revenge or something." I ruffled her hair and wrapped an arm around Bella.

"Alright, alright, you have a point. Now go get a shower. Both of you. God, if only you'd seen how fogged up the windows were a few minutes ago, I swear you would have totally freaked out." Rose nodded at us, her tone suggesting something wicked.

Bella and I groaned. "Jesus, will you let it go already?" Bella shook her head as she leaned against my side, "It's not like you haven't been getting some."

Silence.

_Ah, shit, Bella. You've done it. _"Oh my freaking god! Edward! You little sneaky ass! Why didn't you tell us you were screwing each other? Is she a good lay-" Emmett was frantically shouting.

"Em, just shut up!" I yelled, my ears turning really, really warm. Bella's hand clamped shut on her mouth as she hid her face in my chest once more. I held her body closer to mine, burying my face in her neck. I heard Ali and Rose let out an audible 'aww.'

My brothers merely scoffed. "You're such a wussy, Edward." Jasper teased. I lifted my head and glared at him. If I opened my mouth, I doubt I could keep my voice from breaking. So I pulled my Bella away from my siblings and started gathering stuff for her. I knew how much she loved wearing my clothes, so I gently picked her head from off my chest and looked into her eyes.

"Which one of 'em do you wanna wear?" I shrugged, gesturing towards my black and white flannel shirt, and my vintage _Beatles _tee. It worked; her flushed face broke out into a big grin. "I don't know, you choose." she murmured, staring at them.

I frowned as I tried to consider which one was better for a flight. Considering Bella would love to be comfortable, I threw the clothes I held back into my duffel bag and grabbed a blue and white striped shirt which I'd planned on wearing initially. But what the heck, you know? I'd do anything for her.

As I held it up, Bella's smile brightened. "This one?" I grinned crookedly back at her. She nodded eagerly, her hands reaching out to take it from me. "You gonna wear shorts beneath them, right?" I asked.

"Of course, Edward. I'm not like Lauren or Tanya." she rolled her eyes and fingered the sweater lovingly. She looked up, "I love it. Thanks."

I gave her a quick peck on the lips and then whispered, "Anytime, anything."

"Gosh, the two of you act like an old married couple!" Alice's high pitched voice rang out, and I realized that they were still there. I groaned internally and picked up the green hoodie Bella had gotten for me. "Whatever, Al. I'm off to take a shower, and before you do anything to Bella, I should warn that putting on make-up is not essential for a flight to Europe." I nodded smartly, being Mr. Know-It-All again.

Bella giggled and twined her arms around my neck. "My boyfriend is such a nerd."

"Welcome to the club, sweetie." Rosalie's voice sarcastically said. I looked over, grinning. She was frowning at Emmett, who had his focus taken away by his iPhone, his tongue sticking out. If I listened closely, I think I could hear Angry Birds playing. I laughed once and looked at Bella, who was looking at the thing in his hand like it was an alien.

"What the heck is that?" she asked, returning to her old self. "That, my love, is a device called iPhone." I chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose. Then I pulled away reluctantly and tugged on her hand, bringing her over to the plastic bag of temporary tattoos that I got for Midnight Sun.

I threw it into my duffel bag and whirled Bella around. "Go take a shower, babe." And because I really couldn't resist, I kissed her once more on her lips, lingering for a little bit more. Al and Rose 'awwed' again, while Em's fingers just kept on tapping at his phone's screen.

Don't even ask me what Jasper was doing. For all I knew, he could have teleported into Mars.

The rest of the morning passed by quickly, or at least, that's what I felt that it was like. Bella still hadn't gotten over her embarrassment, so she was a little quiet than usual. Either that, or she was hiding something.

For some reason, Bella was being bothered by something. And I hated not knowing what it was. Maybe because I _am _supposed to be worried that she's keeping secrets from me, but I trust Bella. Whatever it is, we could work it out.

Due to lack of time, we bought breakfast at the Lodge, and I loaned Demetri some of Momma's compositions. He seemed sort of shy to take them at first, probably because they were authentic, but after a little negotiating (he was going to treat me and my siblings to breakfast) and then he finally accepted them.

Carlisle and Esme were nowhere to be found, so I'd made Em and the others write a goodbye letter. They were still their parents, and they deserved to be loved still. We didn't bother to get a car, partly because there wouldn't be anyone to drive it back afterwards. So we all conceded to walking, and little did we know how disastrous it would be.

Alice and Emmett could not stop singing _For He's A Jolly Good Fellow _and _If You're Happy And You Know It. _Jasper joined in soon afterwards, swinging his intertwined hands with Alice's as they skipped along, shouting out the childish songs as though we were going camping.

Rose hung out with Bella, chatting with her. I held Bella's hand and carried our duffel bags in my right hand. Nearing the school, Alice burst out singing, "S-E-X-Y, we ain't got no alibi, we're sexy, uh-huh, uh-huh, we're sexy, uh-huh, uh-huh!"

Ah for the love of all things holy . . .

I laughed loudly, stopping to lean my hands on my knees, bending as I ripped my hand away from Bella's. She tumbled onto the ground with Rose, and pretty soon, everyone was laughing like crazy. Several cars passed by us, I think I even saw Principal Greene's old Ferari driving slowly when it crawled away from us.

Looking around, I realized belatedly that these next few weeks in Europe was going to be awesome.

BPOV

"Oh, god, what if they've banned me from ever entering the terminal without my knowing?" Alice fidgeted worriedly. I fought back a sigh, "Alice, it's going to be fine. It's not like they're going to keep you from the flight."

Why am I so down, you ask? Easy. The plane we were going to catch could only hold forty-five people. Basically, it's a small plane that already I was hating, because of the fact that Edward was going to be separated from me.

He was going to be on the other plane with half of his group members. Each plane held two groups plus half of Edward's. I should have been proud of him that, because of his enthusiasm and guidance, his group had volunteered to split in order to equalize the whole plane situation.

But I wasn't. Instead, I was sad and pissed that I wouldn't be able to see him for the next nine and a half hours that would be the suckiest hours of my life. Go figure.

So I'd stuck to crossing my arms over my chest and huddling deep into my - okay, _Edward's - _shirt. I'd paired it up with his oversized beige leather jacket, which he gave me as a gift for being so understanding. It was his favorite jacket, so I understood the significance of it.

And yet here I was, sulking like a child.

Jeez, only Edward could release the weird emotions I was feeling right now. "Come on, Bella, don't be so pessimistic. Think of that new tattoo Edward slapped on." Rose linked her arm through mine after we had successfully passed Immigrations.

Suddenly, I was grinning, remembering the plastic bag filled with temporary tattoos that Edward had gotten for his team. It was by far the coolest team identity any group had ever been given, and everyone was jealous of Midnight Sun for having such an awesome group leader.

Their temporary tattoos would last for three weeks, and let's just say that the tattoos looked so cool that Emmett was begging the Principal to change his group. The tats were just a single circle, but inside the circle it was colored pure black. Around it, there were some pretty intricate designs that looked like thorns from a rose and tiny leaves and stems that wove in and out each other.

All in all, you'd take one look at it, and you'll be thinking, "Damn, I want one too."

Edward had pasted the temporary tattoo on the top of his wrist and the others in his group followed suit. Don't get me wrong, I love Angela and everything, but compared to Edward's tattoos, our team identity of bandannas paled. She was a great leader, caring and was really willing to listen to our needs.

I knew that Alice was making it hell for Em, since she was in his group, and that Rose was always fending off Eric Yorkie's advances. Jazz was doing okay with Tyler, who just had the tiniest potential for being a good leader. I say good, not _great. _

And anyone could tell that Edward was _born _to lead. It's just that he doesn't see it. Hopefully, by the end of this excursion, he opens his eyes and sees that he _is _a wonderful person who can take on responsibilities easily.

We finally boarded the plane, with me saying one last goodbye to Edward. He'd only beamed brightly back at me, his eyes emeralds filled with excitement. It was kinda difficult not to catch his enthusiasm, so I got on the plane with this really goofy, wide smile.

Plus, Edward had loaned me his beloved new iPod for me to listen to. He was going to find some other way to entertain himself. Though I'd protested, stating that I had my own iPod, he still insisted on me bringing along his iPod. So we compromised, and he had to take mine while I took his.

"It's goodbye America, hello Europe!" Alice cheered. Rose had been shifted off to the other plane alongside her group, which meant that I was stuck with Em and Alice. He was in the front of the plane, sleeping as if he hadn't slept for three years.

Edward had an awesome playlist. I haven't heard of the bands that were in his playlist, but they were really good, and I found myself nodding my head and feeling the music. It wasn't pop, hell no, but neither was it heavy metal.

Scrolling through the playlists he had, my eyes widened.

_Bella's Playlist: _

_We The Kings: Check Yes Juliet  
><em>_Boyce Avenue: Every Breath  
><em>_Thirty Seconds To Mars: Stronger(cover)  
><em>_Simple Plan: Save You  
><em>_Hoobastank: The Reason  
><em>_Secondhand Serenade: Your Call  
><em>_Red Jumpsuit Apparatus: Your Guardian Angel  
><em>_Bella's Lullaby_

Hang on a second.

Bella's Lullaby?

I pressed the button on that song and sat back, closing my eyes and letting the music devour me. Edward's familiar playing of the piano - deep and soulful - echoed throughout my mind, and I found myself shocked at how the melancholic start of the song pained me. His humming did not start this way . . . did it?

And then it morphed into something light, full of love and devotion . . . and passion. It was like a ride, some roller-coaster of sorts. It was only the piano, but damn it, I could have been listening to an entire orchestra. I've never heard anything so significant before.

One particular tune caught my attention. It seemed to be playing in the background, probably one of Edward's hands doing a miracle. But it got louder and louder. I found it difficult to describe. The flow of the lullaby pierced through my mind, forcing me to open up my heart and listen to it carefully, precisely, so that I could remember what I was feeling at this very moment.

The ending was . . . I didn't know what it was. But I did know that it left me hanging, wanting for more. Not in the 'oh-my-god-I've-got-to-listen-to-it-more' type of want, but the specific category whereby I seemed to be seeking some sort of emotion.

I couldn't name the emotion that was at the ending. Something close to love . . . but closer still to fear. Was Edward scared of hurting me?

He wouldn't do that. Edward was a freaking gentleman, for god's sake. He was courteous, protective, and maybe slightly moody, but that didn't mean that I was giving up on him. He's exactly what I need, I'm pretty sure of that.

So why is it that he was scared of hurting me? He's told me everything, now, hasn't he? But his past lingered in my mind, always making me feel guilty that, while I've found my own happiness, Edward was still hiding in his shell with no way of poking his head out. I wanted, no, absolutely _needed, _to help him get closure, because if I didn't . . .

Come to think of it, there's been so much problems going on lately. From my closure trip, to the Julliard scholarship (which Mom had totally flipped out on) and of course, the disownment. How could we have gotten through all those within almost a whole year? It felt like it was _decades _rather than _years _since I first landed in Port Angeles.

_That's why you should take one step at a time, idiot, _someone told me from the inside of my head, _don't try and fix things too fast. It'll be overwhelming. And if you do stuff too rashly, you might make the situation more messed up than it already is. _

Jeez, it was right. But which one should I try and fix first? Edward's future, or his past? Two choices, one decision, what is a girl supposed to do? Eat ice-cream? Hell no!

_Come on, Bella, you're better than this, _I reminded myself, _you can think of a way to fix things. You've always been good at it, remember? Listen to your lullaby, listen and bear in mind all the difficulties Edward's been through just to make you smile. Now think, Bella, _think. _What, exactly, _can _you do? _

"-Emmett, shut the hell up! You're going to wake her!" someone hushed from my side. I leaned my head stiffly against the backrest of my seat, wondering what was going on, and why it was so dark. Then I blinked, realizing that I've fallen asleep.

"Oh, great. Wonderful job, my dear brother. Look at what you've done! Edward's going to _kill _us for not letting her get her rest . . ." Alice's familiar, high-pitched voice scolded Em, ringing out in anger and concern. "It's not my fault she looks like she's constipating!" he retorted. I lugged my head to my other side to give him a tired but still visible frown.

He coughed. "Sorry, sorry. Go back to sleep, sis. Edward told us that you might need it."

I sat up straight. "He called?"

"Uh, no, not exactly. Bella, you can't use your cellphone on an airplane. Procedure rules and stuff?" Em cocked his head to his left, looking confused.

"She looks sort of weirded out, Em, maybe you should slap her." Alice requested and I turned to shoot her a death glare. "Don't you dare," I warned, but my voice cracked. I tried to clear it, and failing miserably, gave up.

Alice handed me a cup of water without talking. It was lukewarm, so it must've been not too long ago since she left it sitting on her tray. Drinking it thirstily, I tried not to let it get to my head that I looked and sounded like a dog on a hot day.

It was silent for awhile after I'd finished my drink. The quietness of it all bugged me. Were they usually this quiet? I looked around and was surprised to find out that only Alice, Emmett and I were the ones awake.

"What-" I started.

"Something bothering you, Bellsy?" Em asked, his sky-blue eyes troubled. I raised my eyebrows and immediately went for a lie. "No, not at all. Why d'you ask?"

Alice sighed, "Because you said it in your sleep, Bella. You were murmuring, and even though we don't really know what you were saying, you looked worried. That little V your eyebrows will form whenever you're upset showed up. That's when Em decided to wake you up by singing Stevie Wonder's _I Wish. _I'm telling you, I'd rather stick pins in my eyeballs rather than hearing him sing that song one more time."

Okay, well, it wasn't actually a sigh. More of a rant. But you get what I mean, don't you?

"Yeah, so if something _is _bothering you, do you mind telling us? Because I'm really, really freaked out by how you're biting your bottom lip right now." Emmett lolled his heavy head back to its proper position.

I stopped biting my lip and held back a deep sob that vibrated my chest. Alice caught sight of it, and being a girl, knew what this meant. She wrapped her thin arms around my shoulders. Emmett stretched out his hand hesitantly before bringing it back to him. Then he shrugged and opened up his arms wide and open.

Here was my 'brother,' all teddy-bearlike and jolly, looking so ready to lay down his life for me. I couldn't resist the urge anymore and ended up sniffling.

Then, I told them, there on the hard, not so comfortable seats of the airplane, of my worries. They listened well, not interjecting nay of their opinions till I was done. This gesture touched me, how that seemed to cherish my thoughts rather than theirs.

When I was done, and the tears had subsided - I didn't even know why I was crying, but it seemed to fit - Emmett's massive arms laid loosely around my shoulders while Alice had hers wrapped firmly around my waist. Both of them were quiet; thinking, I assumed.

"Did Edward ever tell you that he has any neighbors before?" Alice asked.

I nodded, recalling the first time he told me about his past. "Yeah, he said something about them not seeming to care. Why?"

Em stiffened. "Because we can use them!" he whisper-yelled that sentence. I looked at his face, suddenly stretched out in a victorious grin. I frowned and looked at Alice, who was smiling really broadly. "I don't quite under-"

"Think, Bellsy!" Emmett suddenly turned to look at my confused face, "Think! If we had evidences - witnesses, in fact - to stand with us and tell us their account of Edward, then surely we'd be able to reinstate his story!"

Oh.

_Oh. _

"But how are we going to-" I began once more, but got cut off by Alice. "We're going to need private investigators. No wait, that would be too expensive and conspicuous. Dad and Mom are probably wondering why the heck my credit card bills doubled over the past month . . . but I just _loved _those shoes! They were so gorgeous, I just had to buy them! And they only cost, what, two thousand? Three? Oh wait, back to Edward . . ."

"Alice, _focus." _Em was suddenly all businesslike that even I cowered back from the tone of his voice.

She looked flustered, grinning sheepishly. "What? I got carried away. Big deal. Sorry, okay, so this means that we'd have to go look for the neighbors ourselves? I think I could probably Google it, but it'd take _ages." _

"That's why we've got about an entire month left to look for them! The court date isn't until July fourteenth, which means we'll probably be able to find whoever his neighbors were on time." I suddenly jolted upright, sudden inspiration hitting me.

Things were looking up after all. And all it took was to spill how I was feeling to two of the most trusted people I've ever had in my life.

"Right! In the meantime, however, I'll have to confirm just one thing: did you bring that dress I'd gotten for you?" Alice looked at me sharply, her usually distracted eyes imploring. I flushed, "Yeah, of course. It cost way more than anything I've ever owned costs, _of course _I'd bring it, Alice. Besides . . . it's for Edward."

"That's the spirit!" she cheered, pumping her fist in the air. Emmett and I laughed simultaneously. "Whateva, sista." he said in his deep voice, "but I'm still wearing that light green tuxedo."

"Emmett McCarthy Cullen, don't you _dare _embarrass Rose like that!" she stopped cheering and started poking her finger through Em's shirt, reaching past me to do so.

He laughed loudly, stirring a couple of people, "Really? Well then, let's try."

I smiled as Alice started crawling over my lap, hidden enthusiasm building as she tried to hit Em on the head. The speakers, however, croaked, _"Thank you for your kind wait and patience, everyone. This is the captain speaking, and I'd like to say that within thirty minutes, we'll be reaching London Heathrow Airport in just about two hours time. We might be experiencing some turbulences later on, so do keep your seatbelt buckled. Once again, thank you, and, uh, welcome to Europe!" _


	26. London, Anybody?

_**Author's Note: First and foremost, I'd like to sincerely apologize for the freaking long wait for updates. Recently, a whole string of unexpected events turned up, and I couldn't find enough time to juggle school, a part-time job, projects and homework. But I promise you, I will try my best to keep updating at regular intervals. Hopefully I can manage my time. But, secondly, I'd like to give SUPER MEGA HUGE ULTRA GINORMOUS DINOSAUR-SIZED (this is a new one) THANKS TO No- He's MY Monkey Man (I never thought that I'd find another person who knew Boyce Avenue around here! Whenever people ask me who I love the most, I can't seem to decide because I love all of them! I really like how smooth Alejandro's voice is, and how he can sing anything from Coldplay to Katy Perry. Not to sound weird or anything, but all the songs I've picked out were actually some songs I have in my own playlist that I've created specifically for Twilight. Okay, now I feel really stupid. Glad to know you loved the tattoos Edward has, though! ^^), MyDarkTwistedWorld, twinofdarkness, justanothertwilightfan (LOVE the penname. =D), dvickd (The window is definitely growing wider. Not bigger, or smaller. =) In this chapter, you'll get a few insightful points regarding Carlisle and Esme. Edward didn't write a goodbye letter to them because . . . well, why would he? I mean, he's already lost hope of ever being in the family again, right? So I didn't think he'd write a letter to them. It's just not the way his character is in this story. I'm pretty relieved you liked my idea of separating Edward and Bella on the plane. I was freaking out over that one. *shudders*) and Iren. **_

_**Now, because that Spring's coming, get ready for the warmth, people! So sit back, grab some munchkins, and ENJOY! **_

_**~Serene.**_

**_Disclaimer: I now own a Blu-Ray DVD of The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn: Part One, but I don't think I'll ever own the saga. Or Edward. And his sexy back. _**

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

"-Jesus Christ, everyone! Will you guys just _shut up?" _Eric Yorkie yelled at his group, looking more like a flustered retard than anyone else had the right to be. He looks all stressed out, carrying that stupid clipboard of his, looking like a Harvard scholar. He sighs as his group start yelling at each once more. I chuckle and shake my head, but no one else notices.

Then I glance briefly at Angela's group, watching Bella shake out her hair. We're all in the lobby of some hotel, freaking out because, apparently, there aren't enough rooms. The staff had booked out all of our rooms to another tour group - I know, I know, I should sound angry or something, but truthfully? I don't really care.

Because, standing here and watching Bella laugh and smile as some guy from her group cracks a joke, I feel like there's nothing else I'd rather be doing. It's half passed eight, we've yet to eat dinner, but I'm still seated at a floppy couch, looking at my girlfriend socialize. And she's doing an amazing job too.

Grabbing my duffel bag, I moved over to where my group slouched moodily. Apparently, they didn't appreciated being separated from their friends. I cleared my throat and Austin, one of the loyal ones, looked up at me. "Yo, gather 'round, gather _round!" _I shouted above the noise.

Midnight Sun shuffled lazily. My eyebrow twitched, and I had to clench my fists in irritation. "I'm giving you guys _five _seconds, or I'll . . . I'll confiscate your dessert rights!" _How much more of a dork can you sound, Edward? _Ah, yes, the stupid voice at the back of my head has returned. I was wondering where it went.

But, miraculously, the threat worked. Everyone's eyes widened and they began to crowd around me. I saw the other groups eyeing us, clicking their tongues in disapproval. I looked back at Tyler, shooting him one dagger-worthy look before fully flipping him off. I didn't care if anyone saw me, but he pissed me off by making an advance on one of my members earlier.

He'd tried to actually blackmail her into giving him extra tattoos. I'd bought several - if not, too much - and decided to let my group keep them as a souvenir or whatever. Tyler'd heard of it, and he immediately went ahead to threaten her for those tats. I got mad, and because no one wanted to mess with me, he backed off. But he still hasn't stopped frowning at me.

Yeah, I could care less.

Or more.

"There's just this thing I've been wanting to discuss with you guys," I look down at my own, crazy clipboard. Mr. Varner decided to give each of the team leaders one craptastic clipboard that we'd found so freaking _useful; _I nearly mashed my own head with it when I tried to get into the bus they'd rented specifically for the excursion. "Before you guys shit talk me or something, I need you guys to write down your, uh, expectations of me as a stupid leader-"

I got interrupted by Samantha Wells. "You're not stupid. I think you're perfectly fine. In fact, I'd rather prefer you than _him." _She points towards Eric, who looks like he could use a glass of water. I laughed once and nodded. "Yeah, that's true. I _am _better than him. Gee, egoistical much?" I said, watching my team laugh along.

"We don't need to write it down, do we?" Samantha asks again. I shook my head and looked across the room at Bella. Her eyes drooped a little, so I'm guessing she's about to fall asleep soon. Be it in my arms, or the hotel lobby. The first option is definitely the one I'm choosing.

"Nah, that idea sounded stupid anyway." I shook my head. Then I looked down at my clipboard: _State the hobbies of each of your team members. "_Okay, just sit around, would you?" I addressed them all, looking around the lobby for a free space to seat in a circle. Old fashioned, really nerdy, but effective. I could handle it.

I think.

_Chill, Edward. You're supposed to be having a blast. It's your 'vacation,' isn't it? You're supposed to relax and not act all tensed up, _I reminded myself, taking a deep breath through my nose. I scanned the room once more, looking for a target.

Bingo.

"Let's move over there." I pointed towards the minuscule area over at the elevator, the perfect place for my group to keep apart from the rest of the crowd, but close enough to see them. Midnight Sun hustled after me now, and as I moved, I caught Bella's eye. I gave her a winning smile and winked. She muffled her giggles by clamping her hand over her mouth.

Em's group was the hardest to get by. He looked ready to bite anyone's head off from boredom. He got the goth group. Although he tried to get his team working well together, no one was enthusiastic enough. So he and Al had to make up for the lack of entertainment by shouting random things at each other. I winced in sympathy for him. Maybe I could get Varner to merge our groups or something . . .

All in all, I think I've done a pretty good job in this whole leader thing.

I got them to sit around in a circle and began to learn their names one by one, branding their faces into my mind in case I forgot who they were. Part one of being a leader was to be able to describe their faces. I needed to do it in case any of them had gotten lost in the streets of Europe. It's an entire continent for crying out loud. I should be able to find at least one guy with a piercing on his tongue. Scratch that. Make it three.

Samantha's hobbies were fishing, which surprised me. She looked like the type that would sit in Starbucks sipping a decaf cappucino. Or maybe a soy latte. Austin preferred to hang out with his buddies and throw around a football.

From the way most of my group's eyes were falling, I knew that they found this boring. So I gave up and cleared my throat, accidentally breaking off Whitney's speech. "Sorry about that, Whitney, but I need to wake up the rest of your group-mates." I said teasingly. She blushed, looking away.

"Look, I know you guys are tired, I know you want some food in your stomach, but dammit, at least pay attention to the people talking, yeah?" _You're such a hypocrite, Edward, _"Value every individual. I want you people to value every single one of the members here. Treat this excursion like a camp. We're all here, we're all sitting like lunatics in front of elevators, and we're all sharing the exact same experiences."

Once I started, it doesn't seem like I can stop. The minute I saw June Richardson's bored face boring into Whitney's, I knew then I'd have to do something or Midnight Sun would lose it's edge.

"Tell me something. Would you like it when you're talking to someone and their eyes just glaze over and you're stuck speaking in monologue?" I glared at them. No one moved, no one breathed. It's like they're frightened of something. Or maybe _realizing _that 'something.' "Yeah, I thought so too. So just, please, listen to whatever the person's talking about. If it's boring, at least keep a pleasant smile or make an effort to comment. That way the person wouldn't feel ignored."

Taking a deep breath, I looked at Mr. Varner, who's still shouting at the concierge. It doesn't look like he'll stop anytime soon. "Alright, I'm going to start again, from Austin. I want you to tell me some secret hobby of yours. And don't worry about confidentiality. It's all safe here within the few of us." I nod at them and they all looked troubled.

I gave them a minute to think about what to say, then I begin once more. Austin frowns and begins playing with the threads of the carpet. Then he sighs a 'why not?' under his breath and says, "I like watching Woody Allen films in my free time. I think . . . I think I might take up a film making courses at NYFA." I allowed myself to smile at him. Wow. New York Film Academy, huh? Not bad.

Not bad at-

"Hey, I like Woody Allen's films too, " Ashley Dowling gushes, "I'm absolutely in _love _with him! He makes every scene in _Hannah and Her Sisters _count!"

"_Seriously? _Wow. Though I prefer _September." _he said wistfully. Everyone's listening at their debate over which films were the best. I decided to cut in as Ashley starts to look breathless from the lack of oxygen. She's been listing down the pros of _Annie Hall. _Without. A. Single. Breath.

"Whoa, whoa. Relax. We've got plenty of time for the two of you to bond over Woody. Let the others have a go, yeah?" I raise my eyebrows at the both of them, flushed and excitement coloring their eyes bright. I gestured for Samantha to begin and she closes her eyes, smiling. "I actually like gardening. It helps to keep my mind of . . . stuff."

My mind was on red alert now.

I leaned in, eyeing her body, making sure there was no wrong misdoing. Back when I was still little Eddie Masen, no one even bothered to see my bruises, to actually probe a little into the reason why there was so much banging and crying at the Masen's household. No one even cared.

So I found myself frantically looking up and down her entire well-being, hoping it wasn't what I thought it was. "What . . . _kind _of stuff?" D.J. Garrett asked, sparing me from asking the question myself. All of our eyes were trained one her, I could practically feel the tension and worry in the air.

Momentarily, I gave myself a pat on the back for uniting these people enough to make them feel worried for each other.

Sam sighed and touched her jeans. "You all know of my parents being divorced and stuff. Mom's suddenly placed with a custody of me, because she didn't trust Dad enough with the responsibility of taking care of me. She always thought that he was . . . well, that he was a bastard. I didn't believe it, because he's changed so much. It's my mom who's the bastard. Or the bitch. From the minute Dad signed the paper, it was like a whole new him.

"And then he met this woman - Makenna - when I was four. Mom went ballistic. She stopped allowing him to visit me. I guess she was pretty hung up on him. I was supposed to have a little sister, but Makenna had a miscarriage. Her name . . . her name was supposed to be Kimberly Samantha Wells. Dad wanted to use my name, and I thought, why not? And, even though I never got to meet her . . . I loved her. With all my heart. Gardening was something Dad liked to do. It was the same thing with me. So I guess . . . I guess gardening is my way of connecting with both my dad and my sister."

Oh, god.

Holy freaking-

I had no idea. No idea at all.

Samantha _Wells? _A little sister? And all this time, she's been silently walking the halls? Then . . . she's like me. And Bella. It took me a second to embrace it all, because I'm starting to realize that everyone, even the most unexpected person, has a secret. Be it if it's something simple or deep, we're all just the same. No one's spared, because everyone's done something they've at least regretted.

"He's here, you know," she's blurting out, "he's here in Forks. With his wife. I visit them from time to time"

"Really? So . . . how're you coping with it all?" D.J. asks her.

Samantha looks unsure of what to say. My mouth was hung open, and so were the others. D.J. was the type of just couldn't care less. We all knew that.

"I've been visiting him secretly ever since . . . well, ever since they've moved back. Makenna's been so nice to me. I feel so much at home with them than I ever was with Mom. She doesn't understand that growing up without a father . . . without ever feeling that she loved me . . . why am I telling you guys this, anyway?" she asked us, looking speculative.

We were rendered speechless. Then I smiled and cracked my knuckles. "Okay. We'll keep everything you said a secret. Right, guys?" I stared them down.

Actually, I didn't have to. They were already decided; they'd keep Samantha Wells' secret. Because she was their group-mate. Because they already felt like we were a family.

Even though I already _have _a family with Bella and Al and the others. Was it possible to extend the same wavelength to them? I didn't know for sure, but it did feel like we were walking as one unit, the same being. After Samantha's confiding, I found Midnight Sun suddenly more . . . I don't even know what. But we did feel like we were one and the same.

No, not a family. But close enough.

Finally, it came to Kate Javier, a Spanish exchange student who was also Garrett Hummel's - a guy who outshone everyone else in guitar playing, currently in Angela's group - girlfriend. I included this little nugget of info because I once dated Kate, and while she was a real catch and everything . . . I only went steady with her for two days.

The rest was history.

But seeing her talk to me like nothing happened between us, I was pretty glad that we weren't together. If we were, I wouldn't have met my Bella. Kate was beautiful, both inside and out, but I knew that it wasn't right between us. Besides, Garrett was the perfect person for her. I was happy they'd found each other.

"I like . . . I don't know what I like. But I think I'd go with making dresses, skirts, shirts or whatever." she admitted sheepishly after awhile. Now, _this, _I already knew. She's probably done that dress she's wearing by herself. In a way, she was a little like Alice.

Then it came down to me. The last person.

I was stunned. I had no flipping idea what to talk about. Then it hit me; the piano. No one else but my family and Bella knew I adored playing the piano. The rest thought I was playing just for the fun of it. So I shrugged in an easy manner and grinned. "I don't just like this hobby; I love it. Playing the piano's my passion. It's everything that I can pour my soul into, even if that sounds cheesy."

"Yeah, I've heard you play before, man. On Youtube. If that video was enough to break the whole of Youtube's number count . . . I don't doubt that hearing it live was better. I mean . . . wow." Austin looked down and refused to meet my questioning gaze. He knows I have a video on Youtube?

June cut in as well. "Same here. Nice playing. Good use of the harmonies." He was nodding. I looked at him imploringly until he cracked a tiny grin. "I know how to play. But only a little. I don't really play the piano. I'm more used to the keyboard or the drums."

"That's . . . awesome." I said.

I wrapped things up by forcing everyone to think of some group cheer. The rest of the groups were lazing about, doing nothing in particular until we arrived. Bella looked at me, her brow furrowed, which made me think I'd been gone for too long and she was anxious. She got all worried whenever I'd disappeared.

And I hated worrying her.

"Hey, mind if you guys just take a seat here for awhile?" I asked my group before jutting my chin out pointedly towards Bella. They all grinned, even Kate, and I was relieved. Until Diego Hudson joked, "Off to see your Juliet, Romeo?"

I caught him in a headlock and started rubbing my palm deep into his head. He tried fighting back but failed. The others were laughing at us right now, everyone watching as we playfully wrestled each other. Even Mr. Varner and the concierge had stopped.

Jeez, I wondered what was so damn interesting about a simple wrestling match?

Diego got tired, so I moved off to find Bella. Her back was turned to me. She was talking to Angela and a bunch of other girls. They noticed me coming over but I quickly shoved my index finger to my lips. I didn't want my baby to know.

As quick as I could, I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist from behind. In a weird way, this was like a reunion for both of us. After the flight, I'd tried to get to her, knowing she'd be pretty cranky. There was a huge crowd that separated us, and I thought she'd be pissed. But she wasn't. Instead, she caught my searching eyes and shot me a huge grin that reassured me she was perfectly fine. Then she'd pointed to my iPod and grinned really widely.

She knew I'd made a playlist of her. _For _her.

In present time, Bella gasped and I buried my face into the crook of her neck, inhaling her strawberry scent. "Hey, baby," I whispered. The group of girls were now sighing with envy. Angela was merely glancing at us, smiling. I was glad Bella was talking to someone who wasn't head over heels for me. All the others could just shove it.

"_Edward? _Edward!" I heard her rejoice, wrapping her small, thin arms over mine and laughing. "I missed you! Where were you on the bus?" she asked.

I kissed her cheek once and turned her so I could see her face. Then, because she just looked irresistible, I gave her a kiss. One that's long, but not too long. I didn't like how other people stared at us. Like they were judging me. Or her. I didn't like how the girls stared at my girlfriend.

"What was that for?" she asked me breathlessly afterwards. People were still staring, so I pulled her towards the elevators. When I'd made sure no one could have the faintest possibility of seeing me and Bella, I let out a wicked grin and hugged her tightly. I didn't know how much I missed her till this moment.

I just kept hugging her as she leaned into me, kissing my chest once before burying herself in it. "My group was one of the last to arrive. So we couldn't get on the same bus as you. We had to wait for the next one instead. And I kissed you, well, because you just looked too freaking cute in my sweater." My smile grew wider.

"You're such a romantic, Edward," she teased while she blushed. Argh. I will never know what I did to deserve her.

"Only for you." I replied back, laughing when she did. She rested her head against my chest and sighed deeply, "I heard your playlist. It was wonderful."

"Really?" I was surprised. "You liked all the songs there?"

She nodded eagerly, pulling away elatedly. "Of course!"

"Including your lullaby?" What? I couldn't help it. I _had _to know.

"_Especially _my lullaby." she grinned largely.

That's it. I'm officially a pansy. Bella kills me with every word that comes out of those luscious lips of hers. "You know what, Isabella Swan?" I asked her, holding my hands at her waist, smiling down. The elevator opened and a few people bustled out. They paused when they saw me standing with Bella, mouths agape.

I didn't give a shit, though.

"What?" she asked, incredulous. I grinned and kissed her once more, deeper, filled with infinite adoration, saying all the words I couldn't form. Pulling away, I stared deeply into her chocolate orbs and felt the background, Europe and everything else fade away. "You are the most kindest, loving, _tender _person I've ever met. And I love you more than anything else in the world." I whispered, kissing her nose.

She wrapped her arms tightly around my neck and pulled me in, sighing. "I love you too."

"All righty! Done with the PDAs?" The two of us turned to look at Jasper, who's grinning like a smug idiot. Alice was muffling her laughs in his chest, and I couldn't help but glare at all of them.

Siblings. What more can I say?

_Except, they won't be your siblings soon enough . . . you're going to lose them. _My conscience whispered. I shook it off, though. I didn't want to hear its stupid advice. Who does it think it is to control me? It's only a voice. Not a real person.

Yep.

I've officially gone complete insane.

"Dude, Mr. Varner's telling us that we can go up now. They've managed to squeeze in the other reserved rooms. But . . ." Emmett trailed off, looking incredulous. He scratched his neck and looked down at the ground.

"But . . . ?" I prompted.

His sky blue eyes were as innocent as possible. "It's more of a camp than we ever expected, huh, Edward?" I merely nodded. What was he trying to say? Em looked down again and stomped his feet before nodding once and crossing his arms across his vast chest. "Berty wants us to sleep in our groups. But Varner thought it'd be best if it was by gender. But you know the Bertsman . . ."

"Frankly speaking, I'm not going to be sleeping with Bella tonight, am I?" I stated the obvious.

"Well, we could make arrangements-" Alice began, already looking sad. She didn't like the idea of me being separated from Bella. She first-handedly saw how sullen Bella and I would be, so of course she'd react this way. But there was a glint of something else in her eyes. In fact, there's a glint of something else in my family's eyes.

It floored me then, how they were keeping a secret from me.

Even Bella.

Instant rejection. Ouch. I wasn't expecting that. I thought they trusted me. I thought . . . well, I just _thought. _

Putting this uprising in the back of my mind, I finally decided not to dwell on it, even when I'm looking at them in suspicion. Everything's quiet all of a sudden. We simply stood there, looking very much like statues with unsteady eyes. Bella keeps looking over at me, but everytime she does so, I feel the stinging rejection again.

She doesn't trust me enough to tell me the secret.

Wait, wait. I shouldn't be questioning her trust. No. I can't. I trust her to trust me. I _love _her.

So then . . . why?

Then I took a deep breath and smiled shakily. "Nah, it's fine. I'll still see her in the morning."

"Uh . . . sure?" Rose scanned my face, her face scrunched up in obvious worry. I shot her the universal thumbs up, even though it was real geeky of me. "Oh, oh, wait!" Emmett cut in, looking excited. "Guess what? Guess what, what, what, what, what?"

We all laughed, Em's easy going nature breaking the tension. "What, Emmett?" Bella laughed. There's a distance between us now, and I hated it. So, despite the fact that she may or may not trust me, I pulled her close. She seemed . . . relieved. She leaned her head back against my chest and sighed deeply, a small smile playing on her lips.

"I'm going to be sleeping in the same room as Edward! I'll finally have time with him! Oh wait, the first part sounded wrong" he cheered, wooting and pumping his fists into the air before amending his earlier sentence. I wrenched myself out of Bella's reach as I stumbled to the floor, laughing. My baby wasn't in a better position either. Em was just too childish and weirdly funny that everyone was having hysterics.

"My fiance the joker," Rose rolled her eyes. I didn't know how she managed to do that while laughing.

Em pretended to toss long hair over his shoulder. "Excuse me," he spoke with a high thrilling, "at least _I _don't complain about breaking my nail over the fork!" Rosalie looked flabbergasted with shock.

Sticking out her hip, she did a proper hair toss. Al and Bella had to fight the roll of laughter that threatened to over take them. Jazz and I looked at each other, silently communicating. He took out his phone and began documenting this. I picked what left of Bella from the ground and pushed my index finger to my lips once more.

I didn't have to explain. She already knew.

Alice still looked confused. Beyond this, Rose and Em continued their eternal banter. It was Em's turn now, and he was checking his nails in the uncanny way Rose seemed to be always doing. "Hmm, that may be true," he spoke in the girlish voice, "but _I'm _not the one who screams for my hugely muscled fiance whenever I see a spider."

Rose had her chin jutting out. "Same goes for you, Oh-Fearless-One. Who's the one who shouted for 'Mommy' when you saw a squirrel leap at you?"

"And who's the one who thinks Justin Timberlake's jean-clad butt look - I'm sorry - _hot?" _Emmett was saying defiantly.

"Oh please, you can ask every girl on this planet. I'm sure they can say the same thing. And, besides, you think Madonna looks great in baggy leotards, with absolutely zero fashion sense and wearing hideous make-up." Rose scoffed.

"She's hot, woman. You gotta have balls to admit that. You're the one who likes wearing overalls in the first place! _Oh, Emmy, look at me! Don't you think I look so damn pretty in these? Don't you think I'd be able to score a scholarship with these lovely overalls?" _he fluttered his eyelashes lovingly down at her, clasping his hands together at the side of his head.

Rosalie's facial expressions froze. Then they shifted and they looked so furious that even I shrank back from her look. I've never seen her like this before, so Emmett must have hit a nerve. "At least I have aspirations! At least _I _know what I want in the future! How about you, Emmett? What dreams do _you _have?"

He was silent, staring off into space. She's hit a nerve, too. Then he said quietly, keeping his normally loud voice in steadiness. "I don't know. I honestly don't know."

"Until you've figured it out, Em, you can have this back." Shoving something into his body, I was surprised by the amount of force she'd presented. Emmett fell to the floor, looking dazed and disoriented. He couldn't seem to get hold of his bearings for a minute.

As she stomped off, we all stared, deathly stunned.

And Emmett held out her ring, sky blue eyes gone completely icy.

BPOV

Whoa.

Edward's posture has gone all tensed and worried. Just like how he always does whenever we're in a bad situation. Then he calmly walks over to where Em's still seated and helps him up. "You're coming with me, Zorro," Edward says to him and nods at the rest of us. Jasper scratches his head and looks over at Alice in confusion.

"Just go, Jazz. You boys need a guy-to-guy chat." she whispered before giving him a kiss on the cheek. Jasper looks at me, then he leans in to whisper, "I'll talk to Emmett if you talk to Rose. Deal?"

I nodded only once, just a slight bob of my head. He pulled away and looked relieved. Alice takes hold of my hand, having heard of Jazz's whispered compromise. But before she could pull me away from Edward, I tugged my hand out from hers and rushed over to where he was standing, eyebrows all mashed up together.

He's thinking of what to say.

"Hey," I greet, touching his hand tentatively. He gives me a smile and takes hold of my hand gently, lovingly. But I know he's hurting for Emmett inside. You can easily see it in his eyes. Well, okay, maybe not as easy for others. Edward's really good at hiding stuff he doesn't want other people to see. But because I know him well, I can see the grief brewing behind his confident demeanor.

"Hey yourself." he kisses my forehead. In the background, I could hear Mr. Varner calling for the rest of us to gather and that could we please head up to suites two hundred and thirty four and thirty five, in our groups? Edward's group with Emmett's, Angela's group with Tyler's and Eric's? "Looks like I'm not going to sleep well tonight." I frowned.

This brings the protective Edward out. "Really? Is it because you're starting to have nightmares again? I've actually brought along some money with me, and if it's bothering you that much, maybe I could-"

I reached up to clamp his mouth shut with my hand. He sighs and kisses it for a moment before I cupped his cheek. "It's fine, Edward. Besides," I lowered down the volume of my voice, "you need to have a talk with Em." He looks so sad suddenly that I regretted ever speaking about it. He closes his eyes and leans his head against mine.

"Yeah, I'll get right on that." He sounded like he wanted to say more, but then he pulls his head away for a second and grins at me, using that really encouraging crooked smile of his. "And you, Bella, should probably get some rest. After you've ordered dinner, that is." And then he gives me a sweet, lingering goodbye kiss that tingles all the way down to my toes.

I head up to my room with Angela and the others. They're all talking excitedly with happy faces. But everything's a swirl. All I want to do now is to see Rose and ask her if she's doing fine. But I have no clue where she is. I got pushed aside by some creepy looking man and had to battle my way out of the elevator before I managed to even step outside it.

As we enter the suite, my thoughts went from jumbled up to completely enthralled.

Oh my god.

It's just . . . completely . . . no, _beautiful _doesn't even cover it. This has got to be the biggest suite I've ever seen in my entire life. It's got a huge, huge white and fluffy bed that stretches out luxuriously in the bedroom. There's a mini-bar, which I'm sure Mr. Berty got the chambermaids to clear out all the alcohol. There's a flatscreen, no, make that two. One in the bedroom, one in the recreational area, otherwise known as the living room.

Futons line the floor, and people are sitting on it. No one's touched the bed.

Secretly, I'm pleased that everyone at Fork's High is just so . . . giving. Like how the Tyler's group already ordered for the rest of us, and how the boys of each group agreed to sleep on the floor and let the girls have the bed. I think it's slightly sexist, I mean, do we look like we couldn't sleep on the ground? But it all worked out in the end, because I'm sitting happily on the floor, watching reruns of _The Simpsons _on cable.

My plate, piled up with food minutes ago before it vanished down into my stomach, sits beside me prominently. I keep looking for Rosalie, since she's supposedly sleeping in the same room as I am, but she's nowhere to be found. Jasper's gone and traded in his position with Diego Hudson to sleep in the same room as Edward and Emmett.

Diego might be a funny guy, but there's nothing funny about how the situation was right now. I've _got _to find her.

"Hey, Jessica?" I ask a girl with curly hair, also in Tyler's group. "Have you seen Rosalie around?"

She frowns, thinking. Then she smiles and points her finger to the toilet door. "I think she's bathing or something. She wanted to be the last one in the shower. I think it's because she's got something to hide, though. Ssh! Don't tell her I said that! She'll kill me, or something. Those eyes of hers . . . really scary. I don't understand how Emmett can take it. She's always so . . . pretty. And superior. Plus, she knows it too. But, anyway, she's in the toilet, Bella!"

I wanted to punch her face so badly. No one, I repeat, _no one _ever talks about Rose like that! She's a sweet, kind hearted person who protects the people she loves. She protects Edward, she protects Emmett, Jasper, Alice and me. How dare Jessica talk about her like that? She has no right!

But instead of calling Jessica all the dirty names I can come up with, I decided to stay cool and say thanks and walk away. She doesn't deserve my thanks. At all.

I was about to knock on the toilet door when I heard sniffles. Hard ones, the type that would lead to sobs. Gently, I try the handle - and it's open. Peeking in, I saw Rosalie sitting on the floor, her hands clamping over her mouth as she tries to control the crying. I rushed in, slammed the door behind me, and made my way over to where she sat.

For awhile, we didn't say anything. Just sat there and kind of rocked back and forth. All the others were already calling it a day. Finally, when Rose was done with the crying, she leaned her head heavily against mine. "Oh, Bella. What would I have done if you weren't here . . ."

"Oh, please. Anyone would have done the same." I said modestly. "Rose . . . are you . . . well, do you really mean what you said to Emmett? About how . . . how he doesn't have dreams and stuff."

She takes a deep breath.

"Yeah, I guess I did. I was just . . . _so _angry. Did you know that his only dream is to become a soldier the minute he gets out of high school?" she looks at me with her bloodshot eyes. "Seriously? But . . . but . . ." I break off, fearing for Emmett. He could get hurt. He could _die. _I've heard of thousands of soldiers not being able to return to their homes. I've heard of soldiers who get abducted and _die _being tortured just to let out information.

I've heard of soldiers who become strangers towards their family.

And I can't imagine Emmett that way. Ever.

"You see? You get what I mean, don't you?" Rosalie shakes her head, half in craziness and half in fright. "Emmett can be reckless, and because of this, I'm scared he'll die of his recklessness out in the battle. I don't even want him to ever join the army. No way am I going to let him die. He's just so loving and sweet and completely trusting I just . . . I just feel so angry everytime I think of him wearing that cursed uniform. I hate it. I hate the idea of ever living without him." Rose rants, pausing for a breath.

I break in. "Is that the reason why you've gotten engaged so early?"

"Yeah." Rose nodded. "I know Emmett's never going to look into other careers. But I saw him the other day, you know. He was looking at this brochure Dad brought from his workplace. Something about being an architect. He had this gleam in his eyes. And he seemed so keen. Then I told him that maybe he should think about other options and we got into a fight . . . god. It was hell."

Biting my lip, I looked straight into her sad eyes. "Rosalie, maybe . . . maybe you should rethink putting off the engagement."

"I _am _rethinking it. I'm just . . . I don't want Emmy to get hurt." she says in a small voice.

"He _won't _get hurt. Emmett''s my brother, remember?" I teased, remembering that he'd proclaimed me as his sister. "Which means he's a fighter. And I think you were right. Em can be really stubborn. His mind is on a one-step basis. You've got to, uh, explain everything at him slowly. It's Emmett we're talking about. And I don't think that he'll become a soldier. I know that he'd rather hurt himself than hurt you."

Rosalie looks so crushed then that I wrapped my arms around her. "It's going to be fine, Rose. Everything's going to be alright. The main thing now is that you and Emmett face your problems. Together."

I feel her soft head nodding against mine as she whispers a 'thank you.' I don't say anything back, because I'm letting her absorb everything. Rosalie, in a way, tends to be like this. She talks a lot in a second, but keeps the rest to herself. "What about the plan?" she suddenly whispers, and I know that she's referring to the other plan we have.

To be honest, in front of the elevators earlier, when Edward suddenly realized something and his eyes went all probing and suspicious, then tortured . . . it killed me. I wanted to tell him everything. But I knew he'd refuse. Edward doesn't want help, but whether he wants to admit it or not, I _needs _it. And the only way I can get him to have his own personal closure is if I can get Carlisle Cullen to realize that Edward's really changed.

And in order to do that, step one for Edward's closure is the disownment ceasing to exist.

Pulling back, I gave Rose my most winning grin. "It's still on. In fact, Alice already managed to track down one of Edward's previous neighbours. Her name is Siobhan . . ."

* * *

><p>The air cool against his cheeks, Carlisle Cullen left the hospital in his usual, collected stance. The people around him eyed his stoic determination in complete awe. This, at least, was the one factor that they'd be more than willing to register in their mindless, shallow minds.<p>

Or at least, that was what Carlisle Cullen thought. In reality, they were actually grudging his good looks, how perfect he seemed, and how he could get away with everything. Today was the day Didyme Rodriguez got into operation for a heart transplant. Unfortunately, Carlisle could not stop her feeble heart from beating its last beat. He watched as his patient died in his hands, literally staring as her heart stopped.

He should have felt regret. For not saving her. For not being able to tell her husband, Marcus, that she had died.

But how was he to feel regret when he could no longer understand who he was any longer? Carlisle Cullen stood in front of the mirror, recalling the brief but icy words his children had written him and his wife. This was what he was feeling now. Nothing.

Carlisle knew something was off, he knew that he would completely lost the chance of his children ever truly loving him if he continued with the case. But all his cards were on the table. He not only despised himself as a monster, seeing as he could not bring himself to stop it all. Closing his eyes, he remembered the words spoken to him by Edward, his . . . Carlisle found that he could not even finish his sentence, for he did not know what Edward was anymore.

And it hurt his dead heart that Edward no longer acknowledged him.

Two years ago, the words of Edward Cullen remained fresh in his mind, his heart, his body. It was branded there. How painful it was to remember it!

_"Son, please, I am merely trying to help!" Carlisle cries out, tugging at his hair in exasperation. He did not know what else to do. It was Esme's birthday, and she was spending it crying in their bedroom, refusing to come out because Edward ruined it. Carlisle tried, he _tried _and he tried and he tried, but nothing was working. _

_Edward stared coldly into his eyes, chin raised in defiance. "You're not my fucking father. I don't even _have _a fucking father. Now, fuck off. I'm going out." _

_With those cruel, cruel words, Edward slammed the door shut in Carlisle's face. Esme came shuffling down afterwards, saying how much of a failure as a mother she was. "Look at how much he's changed, Carlisle. Look at him. He's right. I am not his real mother. I don't know how he really thinks. I can't ever know . . . because I'm such a failure-"_

_"No!" Carlisle takes hold of her shoulders almost roughly. "Don't you dare say that! You were never a failure! You are wonderful, perfect, and absolutely compassionate! Without you, I would have never . . ." he breaks off, feeling his eyes brim over with the tears. It has been years since he last cried, but watching his wife suffer, he couldn't help but let out a tear. _

_He pulls her closer to him, hugging her fiercely. "I'm going to make this right, Esme. I'm going to give Edward one last chance to save himself . . . or I will have to take evasive action." _

Of course, Carlisle gave Edward several other chances. One by one, it blew off. He did not want help, it seemed. So he thought of the only action that would save both him and his wife out from depression; to disown Edward.

"Carlisle? Are you alright, dear? I heard about it from one of the nurses." Esme says, coming in through their bedroom door in a hassle. "Oh, no. What happened to you?" Beneath Carlisle's eyes are large bags of purplish-blue. He has not slept in nearly fifty hours. He could use a break, but the hospital needed him too much.

Perhaps this was part of the reason why he was under plenty of stress lately.

"I'm fine, Esme." he sighs and takes a seat on their bed, pulling off his tie. Then he reaches to unbutton his dress shirt, but Esme rushes to do it herself. He watches as she does it adoringly, almost like a child opening a gift. Then she pulls it off him altogether. She notices how thin he has become. Where there used to be muscles, bones have replaced them.

She gasps in alarm. "Carlisle!"

"I said I'm fine, Esme," he cracks his neck tiredly. Carlisle looks at the clock. Eleven. He should be getting some rest if he is to be awake at five. The seminar not only brought him more things to be of worry, and ever since he arrived back in Forks, the only essential item he wanted and needed was sleep. Yet no one wanted to give it to him. He was going and going that he felt like half his soul was out of his body.

He was hurting, but he wasn't letting anyone catch sight of it.

"Okay," his wife breathes, concern in her beautific features, "I'll bring you a cup of tea, alright?"

Carlisle pulls her close and buries himself in her body, losing himself in her warmth. He only wanted to say thank you, but he could not bring himself to. Esme touches the back of his head with sympathy before gently pulling away and moving off towards the kitchen, where he could hear the beginnings of the stove starting.

He lies down, and as he does so, he sees something.

A picture.

One photograph of his entire family, in their very beginning. Him, Esme, Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Rosalie. His children. His wonderful, brilliant children. Without meaning to, his hand is already reaching out towards it, to take it to bed with him. But he flops on the bed, and his eyes are closing . . . he unexpectedly drops the frame, smashing it. Smashing his perfect photograph of his once happy family.

As he drifted, he heard his angel whispering to him in the silence, smoothing his hair, kissing his eyelids. He dreams of a place where he was happy, where a young, seven year old Edward still existed, playing baseball with him.

Carlisle Cullen plays along, even though he know it will not last longer than an hour before a nightmare began.


	27. Race You

_**Author's Note: Someone better pinch me now. Or slap. No wait, pinching is definitely better. But either way, thank you all sooooooooooooo dang much from all of your support. We're reaching the 200, people! xD So an extra dose of SUPER MEGA ULTRA HUGE thanks to Kristel Masen-Lee (I ADORED your review. Thank you loads for finding it 'amazing' and 'interesting.' That's really flattering. *insert blush here*), maybebaby23, dvickd (I'm glad you liked the twist. I didn't plan on this story to be totally focused on Edward and Bella – they needed a break too.), shadowhunters morgestern, (Thanks for the compliments. Really. ^^), TwilightIsGreat, Emoprincess98( Hey! I haven't heard from you in such a long while! Hope school and stuff has been going well. Ew, I sound like a mom. O.O But, anyways, I'm pretty glad you still read my story. =) I was sort of guessing that people had been losing interest in my story.), AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234 (I am SO glad that you're still enjoying my story. Honestly, I feel like no one ever reads it anymore. Thanks for those compliments; you don't know how many a night I've been staying up and trying to think of a good storyline for the next chapter.) **_

_**Now that all of that is passed, sit back on that comfy couch/chair/whatever you're sitting on, grab munchies, and ENJOY! **_

_**~Serene.**_

**_Disclaimer: I am a unicorn who owns Twilight. Nah, I'm just kidding. I'm only a unicorn. _**

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

I got slammed into the bed-frame real hard and my breath whooshed out of me like gas deflating quickly from a dying balloon. I grunted but got on my feet once again. Jasper took hold of my body and pushed me to the ground, sweating in exertion. Emmett stood in the corner, looking abashed and scared out of his mind.

Damn right he should be. I was more than willing to punch the living daylights out of him. I swear I will, if only Jasper would let me go.

"Get off me, asshole!" I shouted at him, annoyed and pissed. Em flinched, and I glared at him. "Edward, calm the heck down! What's _wrong _with you? You need to chill, dude." Jazz forced me down on the carpeted floor of the suite, making me feel like a small child being manhandled to take a seat on the fluffy floor.

Whatever. "Calm down? Yeah, right. How d'you expect me to calm the hell down when I find out my brother wants to be a freaking _soldier? _What would you think that would do to Rose, huh? Isn't she already hurt enough? Do you even _care _for her, Emmett?" I growled, seeing red in everything. The thirst for blood roared in my ears; I wanted so bad to smash something.

How could Emmett be so . . . so freaking _selfish? _What was his problem? Of all things, a _soldier? _That was like signing yourself up for a death sentence! I could only imagine what it would do to Rosalie, how she'd have to endure it if Emmett did not survive his battles. I loathed the idea, because I didn't like Rose in the midst of pain.

Mentally reviewing the percentage of the survivors that came from Afghanistan or Iran, I shuddered at the amount. Then my ever, over-achieving mind came up with a future where a letter would arrive on my doorstep, informing me of my brother's demise. It was then that I froze, actually contemplating the idea.

I didn't want to stomach it. It was impossible to do so.

"Edward? Bro? You alright there?" Jasper peered down at me, but I didn't answer. So I looked up to meet Emmett's thoughtful gaze, his blue eyes scrunched up in worry and sadness, mixing in with the guilt and regret. "I'm sorry, Edward, Jasper. I know how . . . big . . . of a disappointment I am. And I know I'm not exactly smart, but I thought-"

I broke him off. "Well, you thought wrong. If you think that joining the army would fix _anything, _you're wrong. You have a _choice, _Emmett. Don't throw it away."

He sighed, eyes rolling as he grumbled, "I know, dammit! Just let me freaking _finish!" _Jazz and I shut up then, glancing at each other as though we were getting ourselves ready for whatever that was about to come our way. Emmett shuffled his feet, then sat on the bed, staring off into space. This action of his sort of freaked me out. I've never known Emmett to be like this, usually he was either cheerful or hyper. Either way, he was still another huge bear of a brother.

But today, after seeing his outburst with Rosalie, I was beginning to think that Em doesn't let on more than he makes it seem.

"See," he trailed off, looking at his clenched fists, "my dad used to be a soldier. You know, general or whatever shit you call the highest rank. When I was younger, he used to drill it in my head of the measures and training. He expected me to be a solider too, like him. But then . . . after a failed rescue mission, he was pronounced dead by the medics that arrived a little too late.

"Later, my mom grew, I don't know, despondent, I guess. She was so saddened by the recent turn of events that she felt like she couldn't take care of me any longer; so she gave me up for adoption when I was five. I remember this because . . . well, just because. So I think that's why I want to be a soldier, 'cause of what my dad branded into my freakin' head. But this was all set before I met Rose.

"When I did, dude, I just . . . I was just so damn torn - I couldn't decide. Now, I'm thinking of what it'd do to my Rosie. I love her like hell, and I'd even freeze it just for her if I could, but I just . . . I don't know . . ." Seeing Em struggle with words, I realized that he'd never had the guts to tell any of these to us before. He wasn't a coward, hell no, instead, he just didn't want his Rosalie to be hurt.

My anger dissipated, and I stared into the red carpet. "Sorry 'bout earlier." I murmured.

Jasper, I could tell, nodded his head in recognition. "Yeah, me too. But you could've warned us earlier, Em. We could have prevented any of this from happening. Now, Rosalie's angry at you, you're still torn by your mid-life crisis, and I think someone's knocking on the door. Be right back." I groaned at his nonchalance, his easy demeanor to make every tense thing light.

The door opened and closed. I stood up, folding my arms across my chest. "What now, Em?"

My usually goofy brother sagged his shoulders with resignation. "No idea. Really. It's like a constant question ringing in my ears, _should I, should I not, do I want it, or am I just forced to? _I'm led to believe everything I've ever believed in is . . . heck, freaking wrong!"

A whole string of profanities rang throughout the room. If you're wondering where the rest of our groups were, they were talking with the others at various rooms spread out evenly across the level. They've all eaten and stuff, and we'd waited till everyone was out the room before Jasper and I confronted Emmett. Alice, who was supposed to stay with us due to her being in the same group as Emmett, was probably with Rose and Bella . . .

But, anyway, first things first. "I don't know about you, Emmett, but you gotta understand every single option in front of you. Who matters more, your dad or Rosalie?"

He was silent; a huge change in the atmosphere happened again. Jasper appeared seemingly out of virtually nowhere, and since I was so used to this, I gave him a mere, "Hey."

Jasper sat in front of us on the floor, looking awkward but concerned. "So . . . ? Did the psychologist give you banged up advice?"

"Shut up, Jasper." You probably know whose mouth that sentence came out of. Emmett chuckled, but flopped on the bed and groaned into the pillows. "I hate, hate, hate this shit! Screw life, man!" His voice was muffled through the pillow and I was sure Mr. Varner or the Bertsman would have a fit should they ever hear the expletives flying out of my brother's mouth.

Hmm, maybe they'll even have an aneurysm. Who knows?

"You're telling me." I muttered sarcastically, looking at Jazz. He smacked his forehead with his palm as he shook that blonde head of his. I looked at my cellphone, wishing so bad that I could just pick it up and call Bella, but the number here was wrong. My cell wouldn't even work in this continent. What a piece of-

A shrill ringing interrupted my thoughts, and it came from the hotel phone that laid neatly on the bedside table, which looked so sophisticated that I began to wonder where the heck the taxpayers' money go to. Look at this - elegant table, high-classed lamp and who needs a freaking fountain pen on their own bedside table? Jeez, people nowadays are just so materialistic. Or maybe this was just a fancy hotel. Probably the latter.

"Dude, you picking up or what?" Jasper teased, punching my shoulder in mockery. I returned the punch and reached for the phone. "Yello." I answered in a fake, cheery voice.

"Edward?" Ah, yes, I would recognize that sweet, sweet voice anywhere, anytime. It was Bella, and thinking about her made me smile wider. Jasper took one glance at my face, rolling his eyes when he was done evaluating me. Emmett was a humongous dummy of a dinosaur in the hotel bed.

"Hey, sweetheart. How d'you find my number here?" I asked, peering at the caller ID for future reference. Committing the number into a piece of Post-It with the help of the fountain pen, I was soon listening to Bella talk about her conversation with Rose. It turns out that I was right about my suspicions - she really doesn't want Em to get hurt.

I was happy to listen to her voice, contented for the meanwhile. But I had more pressing questions I couldn't hold back. "So is the engagement still on or what?"

"I don't really know. Rose says she said 'yes' to the whole idea because of his wanting to become a soldier. But I've asked her to talk to Em, to explain things to him. You know him, and how stubborn my brother can be," my grin stretched even wider on my face as she said those words.

"But d'you think . . . you know, do you think it's like his dream or something. What's that phrase," god, was I struggling to do a smart quoting, "'Follow your dreams,' wasn't it?"

"Yup. Where's Alice, by the way? I wanna talk to her." I laughed, hearing the pout in my girlfriend's question. "Isn't she with you?" I asked her later, still rumbling with laughter.

She was confused. "Why? Should she be?"

Oh, hell no.

Instantly, it's like my whole body froze over in itself. Jasper sensed something wrong, so did Emmett. I was quiet, trying to absorb the impact of her words and contain the gnawing anxiety. We weren't in America anymore. I couldn't just pick up my phone and call her; she wouldn't be able to answer it. I knew it, because her cell brand was the same one as mine. But it couldn't hurt to try. As calmly and coolly as I could, I took my phone and tossed it to Jasper.

"Dial Alice's number, see if she picks up," I instructed. Well, ordered, actually. The frantic panic was starting to set in as I began to imagine scenarios of where Al could really be. Jasper's horrified expression as he looked from my face to my phone indicated that he understood.

And Emmett was Emmett. His expression indicated that he didn't understand. "What the hell's going on, Edward? What about our little sister?" He was on big brother mode now, which meant that he himself was anxious. I didn't answer him, instead, I turned to the hotel phone in my hand and whispered for Bella not to be nervous or anything, that we'll find Alice and tell her the second we found her. One way or another.

"I love you," I said into the corded phone, fingers twitching. Jasper had started dialing her number, fists clenched. Emmett was getting ready to punch the living daylights out of me if I didn't respond to his questions. "I love you, too. We'll do everything we can to find her as well." Bella's voice was laced with worry, and I visualized her expression.

Damn, damn, damn my rotten luck. And here, I thought this whole European excursion would be something like a vacation. Turns out I was wrong.

My feet, moving of their own accord, brought me to stand in front of Jasper. "Any luck?" I asked, but already I expected the answer to be a negative reply. I was right about this one, at least. He shook his head, gray eyes raging like a storm. Whoa, Masen, that's deep . . .

Sorry. That was completely out of the blue. "Will someone please tell me what the heck's going on _before _I go nuts and kick someone?" Em roared, pissed off that no one was answering his tense questions. I turned to him, trying my damnedest not to looked as freaked out as I felt. "It's Al, Em. She's missing."

"So why the hell are we sitting here, looking like bastards when we can be out _there," _he pointed out the door, "looking for her? I don't know about you guys, but I'm heading out to find her."

This seemed to anger Jazz, and he leaped to his feet. "You think we don't care for her?"

"Yeah. Maybe I do." Em got into Jasper's face. I chose this time to settle them before things escalated. "Yo, break it up! What the hell, man? It's not helping _anybody _if you guys want to fight right now. Suck it up, and let's go looking for Alice. This is a hotel with only forty floors. I'm sure we'd be able to find her if we split up."

I was holding Emmett back, knowing that he'd be the one taking the first punch. He barely struggled, but listened to me and put on his shoes. Jasper's shoes were already worn on his feet, yet he sat back down on the bed with an unsubtle, "Oh, god."

"We'll find her, dude." I clapped his shoulder, nodding.

Throughout the next few hours, Emmett, Jasper and I scoured the entire hotel, nearly turning it over in search of Alice. The worry unsettled me, making me think about the time where Jack the Ripper roamed the streets of England. But didn't he only kill whores?

I shuddered, over-thinking things again. Al was smart - she knew how to incapacitate an attacker. I've seen her do it before, to Emmett, that time when we were in Port Angeles.

Then I stumbled into the lobby, half-blind with the fright, and into the area with the computers, hoping against hope that she'd be there. Maybe, I don't know, but I had this strange feeling that she might be using the free desktops, Facebook-ing or using YouTube.

But my eyes caught the streak of spiky, pixie-like hair. All the breath I held came out of me, and I just ran like a headless chicken towards my sister. I sneaked up behind her, though the urge to pick her up and scold her for not telling us where she went was strong. I peered into the screen.

What I saw there surprised me. Beyond Alice's nodding head was Google, with the words _Siobhan Sheeran _typed in the search bar.

Siobhan . . . Siobhan . . . I felt like the name was familiar to me but I couldn't quite remember whose face it belonged to. I saw my reflection off the screen of the desktop, Alice's wide eyes staring into my weirded out ones through the mirrored image. "What the heck do you think you're doing reading off my shoulder like that, Edward?" she shouted, jumping up.

Briefly but evidently, I saw her wild eyes, filled with secret. She was _so _busted. I leaned around her as she tried to hide the screen from my sight. "What're you hiding, Al?"

"Nothing," she murmured, quickly shutting down the computer before I had any chance to stop her. I frowned. Did she not trust me? "Sure? That freaking out face of yours doesn't mean it's 'nothing.'" I quoted, raising both of my index fingers to make quotation marks. A bunch of other people where staring at us, probably trying to figure out what we were doing.

I smiled winningly at them. Hey, it can't hurt, right? A girl of my age blushed, looking at me with the lust in her eyes.

Oh god, no. Not even here.

"C'mon, Al, let's-" I began, but got cut off by an achingly recognizable voice. "Alice! Thank god you're alright!" Bella's bell-like voice was music to my ears as she flitted to my sister's side, engulfing her in a hug. The next one was me, and I kept her stuck to my side afterwards. Rosalie was up next, and then came Emmett and Jasper, who arrived not more than three minutes later.

I saw the reason why; they held walkie-talkies. Those bastards.

So, instead of kicking their asses, I nuzzled my head sleepily into Bella's soft neck, breathing in her comforting scent. I know I already said my goodbye to her, but my baby was just the type of girl that you'd miss no matter how long the duration of time spent without her. I guess this is the working of a confusing, crazy thing called love.

Without anymore further comments, we headed off for the elevators. It was there, when I heard a loud, breathy voice call out, "Wait!" Turning, I caught sight of a pretty girl, probably my age or so, looking straight at me.

Oh, for god's sake.

"I just wanted to say that you've dropped your wallet," she looked down, holding it out. I glanced at it, then touched my pockets. It really wasn't there. "Uh, thanks." What was I to do? Leave her hanging her hand out like an imbecile? So I took it, and Bella was all cool. She blinked slowly, her eyes drooping. She needs her sleep, asap.

She was still standing there. "Um, is there anything . . . ?"

"Would you be my date to my academy's social?" she blurted out suddenly, and I noticed she had these weird, blue-green eyes. Bella stiffened and her face was abruptly grimacing. She wasn't enjoying this, even if she wouldn't make a sound. I sighed quietly, making sure no one noticed it, because Bella would always be Bella, the ever so kind yet self-sacrificing fool who I loved too much for her own good.

"Sorry, but my _girlfriend," _I emphasized this point, "probably wouldn't enjoy that very much." Then I chuckled nervously, trying to disintegrate into the soft, padded floor. Her accent was really, well, it sort of reminded me of the time when Bella would speak in a fake British accent, though it was totally passable. Don't get me wrong, we still do it every so often. It's just Bella who does the talking, since I suck so bad.

Emmett murmured a "burn!" while Jasper leaned in, reading her facial expressions, which turned from expectant, to confidence, and finally, crushed hope. "Oh . . . you're really fit, by the way. Such a shame." She strutted off, and Bella started cursing, "Stupid, stupid, stupid girl. _You're _the shame here. Asking out a guy out of the blue? So what if he's hot? You've got to _know _him first . . ."

I laughed at her peeved look, feeling the tightening in my chest whenever I caught her cutely pouting while her eyebrows mashed together. I kissed her head, her cheek, then trailed off to the side of her mouth. "That's true, baby. Glad to know we took our relationship slowly, huh?"

My distraction worked; she giggled. "Yep. Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"WHOA, BABY! WE'VE GOT OURSELVES SOME _HEAT!" _Em guffawed loudly and rudely. Everyone stared at us, and I pulled Bella into my chest, hiding her there while I glared at him. "Shut up, asshole!"

Some things, it seems, will never change.

* * *

><p>The next day, Mr. Varner dropped a bomb on us: we were going to tour London in a weird, but totally 'fun' way - Amazing Race style. Of course, I was less than impressed. Do you see me running down the streets of London with a bunch of other people behind my back?<p>

Yeah, I didn't think so.

But . . . since I'm the stupid leader, it was sort of pivotal for me to lead them through London even though I had no idea where to go. Right now, I was doing a pretty good job. We were heading to Madame Tussauds for our first station, my team looking pretty down. We were separated from the rest of the teams in another bus, which made us think we were total freaks or something.

Midnight Sun is a pretty banged up group, I'll admit. So, to get their spirits high, I shouted at the top of my lungs, "If I say Olly, you say oy!"

They were quiet, looking at each other going, _"Is he crazy?" _

I tried again. "If I say Olly, you say oy! Olly!"

"Oy!" Austin shouted from the front. I grinned, "Olly!"

"Oy!"

"Olly, olly, olly!"

"Oy, oy, oy!" By now, the rest of my team was joining Austin, their faces lifted from the downer they had earlier. My cheer was working to a great extent; everyone was hyped up, waiting. Their faces made me shout louder, "Olly!"

"Oy!"

"Olly!"

"Oy!" They chorused, voices merging into one.

"Olly, olly, olly!" I yelled, going louder than I've ever gone before.

"_Oy, oy, oy!" _Midnight Sun screamed, the entire bus vibrating. I glanced at the driver, who only looked at me in the rearview mirror going, "Ah, the sweet glory of young adulthood." I grinned, pretending to take my nonexistent hat off towards him. My group laughed, the bad vibes I got just now completely vanishing into thin air.

Before everyone could get distracted by the really unique, almost rural buildings of London, I staggered to the front of the bus in order to grab his attention. At the back, Principal Greene - he decided to come along - sat with his camcorder pointed in my direction. I didn't like the thought of him taking a video, but I wanted to brief Midnight Sun on what we were to expect.

They focused on me instantly, saving me from embarrassing myself. "Right, so, uh, firstly, I'd like to tell you people that no matter what, we've got to have each others back. I save you, you save me. Get it? Second, don't think about yourself. Think of the person next to you, how you're going to pass through whatever obstacles we're gonna face, and of cooperating with each other. I know you guys have it in you to do something more, to _be _something more. So my challenge for you people is to think of the phrase, 'All for one, one for all,' throughout the duration of this shi-ah, race. D'you hear me?"

I heard their quiet 'yeah's.

"I said, I said, d'you hear me?" I shouted again.

The bus shook, "YEAH!"

And then it stopped; we were here, at Madame Tussauds. The air filled with the quiet but tensed silence. Suddenly, my words weren't that significant any longer. I was starting to freak out. How did the teachers expect me to lead when I had no idea what to do? _C'mon, Masen, you're better than this. Make up a plan, _now.

We entered the entrance, looking like lost puppies. The place, I swear, was crowded with people, tourists, hell, practically everyone from the entire freaking globe was there. I glanced around, hoping to find a familiar face, and I did. Bella's seraphic, troubled yet absolutely heart-stopping face stood out among the sea of people. I could see her mahogany curls glinting, and suddenly I couldn't breathe.

I wanted to hug her. Now. But other matters came first.

Principal Greene put away his camcorder, holding out an envelop - the first clue. My group was too afraid to take it, looking at me to do it myself. I clenched my fist, took a deep breath, and started to tear it open.

Remember how people say when you touch an object, suddenly you feel a connection somehow? Well, let me tell you that all that is simply pure, utter, bullshit.

"Gather round, Midnight Sun!" I called and they listened obediently, crowding around me as we all read the clue.

_Pretty, pretty princess, hear my plea.  
>Pretty, pretty princess, beauty is she!<br>Strong eyes, sharp nose;  
>makes a beauty to behold.<br>_

And that was it.

"Huh?" Diego scratched his head. "Alright, it doesn't matter. So we've got a clue; whoever's statue we're gonna look for is obviously a princess. Strong eyes, sharp nose - any lightbulbs lighting up?" I asked, boring into their thoughtful faces. I looked down again at the paper, thinking hard. Princess, strong eyes, sharp nose.

And then I got it.

My face must have been obviously readable, since Midnight Sun started asking me, "What? What?" I shook my head, grinning whilst pointing at the other groups present. Breaking Dawn, Em's group, was coming up with nothing. Alice was smacking Emmett, trying to make him think as well. Twilight was not in much luck, either.

Bella caught my wandering eye, and she grinned widely. She mouthed, "Good luck." I chuckled, then mouthed back, "You too."

New Moon and Eclipse was stuck, they couldn't even open the envelop. I cracked my knuckles, ensured none of the group leaders were looking at my team, then whispered, "When I say run, you run. Okay?"

They all nodded, serious.

Wow. They trusted me this much, huh? I raised my eyebrows, but didn't comment. Leave that for later. Then I leaned down, huddling deeper into the small circle my team was in, and yell-whispered. "Run!"

And we all took off, towards god knows where. I just sort of scanned the figures, looking for the one I was most interested in - Princess Diana. I know I was only taking my chances, there was a fifty-fifty chance I was on the wrong. But better try than give up. I could hear Austin right behind me, Diego by my side, and D.J. urging the others to run faster and to be careful.

"Excuse me," I grabbed someone in a suit. It was a woman, probably two years my senior. She looked startled, completely off-guard. I looked straight into her eyes and asked, "Do you know where Princess Diana's figure is?" My tone was laced with desperation. I could already hear Twilight making their way towards us.

She nodded fervently, grasping my hands tightly. "Somewhere there." She pointed to the left, her cheeks coloring. I said a quick 'thanks' and rushed off, looking back towards Midnight Sun. "C'mon, guys! Just a little more! We can do this!"

Austin pumped his fist in the air, going, "We are Night, we have pride! We no fright, pick a fight, you'll get a lightning strike!" We all laughed loudly, enjoying the light mood.

Eventually, we reached Princess Diana's figure.

I backed up.

"Whoa-" I began. "Oh my god! She looks exactly the same as the actual one!" Samantha gasped, hands clasping her mouth. I looked back, looking for any sign of what we were supposed to do next. But there was nothing coming out. So I _was _wrong. It isn't this princess-

"Congratulations!" we all turned back to face Mr. Jefferson, smiling widely. Well, this was a first. My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "Now, here's the next clue." He handed us another envelop, and I gestured for June to take it. He did, opening it eagerly. Crowding around each other, we read it.

_Make your way over to the Tower of London, where your next clue awaits._

And, below it, was a couple of questions.

I grinned, looking up to meet my team's trusting, excited and completely exhilarated expression. "Let's do this!"

BPOV

"Come on, just one more!" I cheered along with Angela, watching one of my team-mates, Riley, devour another grilled scallop. Currently, we were in station five - a restaurant called Shepherd's. I loved the place, not only because it was just so cozy and almost humble, but because the staff had made it a point to close the restaurant specially for our excursion.

What I wasn't that fond off? Watching as one of my group-mates gets gluttoned up by the humongous food he had to scarf down. Riley was smart, eating the pile of main courses first before the appetizers. He didn't look like he need help, but he sure was turning green.

I chose this time to cheer him on once more. "Yeah, Riley!" I cried when he smashed his napkin onto his plate, a wide smile displaying on his face. "Oh, yeah! Who's your daddy?" He turned to the rest of us, still smiling.

And Emmett cursed. "Damn it!" he pulled another deep fried wing of skate towards him, dipping it entirely in the tartar sauce. One of the waiters laughed, "I wouldn't do that if I'm him." Rosalie frowned at the waiter, only he didn't see her. She looked back to where her team-mate had just started on his own, personal array of food. Then she closed her eyes, smiled, and screamed, "Go, baby, go! I love you! You can do it!"

My brother's droopy eyes snapped open. Emmett smiled widely, making Rose giggle sweetly.

This really cute gesture between them made me hopeful that they would be okay. Alice caught me eye, pointing at Em and Rose, shaking her head with disdain. Later, she made kissing motions with her hand, which made me erupt in a fit of laughter. While Angie was busy congratulating Riley, I spent my time making childish gestures towards my best friend.

It struck me again how close I was with Edward's siblings; it was as if they were my siblings too. I'd die for them, protect them. I would do anything for them. But that wasn't the only reason why I wanted to find this Siobhan woman, Edward's neighbor from long ago. She was virtually impossible to reach. Alice tried everything she could, from Google to contemplating hiring a private investigator. I denied the other option because, well, privacy is privacy.

With every day that passed, I could sense Edward wounding tighter than a rubber ball. Sometimes he had this melancholic view in his eyes, making him seem brooding. To my relief, this whole excursion managed to take off most of his burden. He seemed more himself, joking about.

I just _wished _I knew what he was thinking.

"Okay, okay, okay! Enough! _Silencio!_" Mrs. Goff, our Spanish teacher, shouted at Twilight. I paid attention to her as she handed us our next clue. I wasn't certain how many teachers came aboard this trip, but I knew that it wasn't because the school was funding it. They wanted to see how Edward handled his new role, something that was both irresistible and interesting.

Angela called us to crowd around her, and I was aware of an uncomfortable gaze on me. I turned to see the waiter who'd teased Emmett earlier staring at me, his jaw hanging open. His friends, and a couple of other women, were looking at me in awe as well. I recognized that look; back in Phoenix, I've seen it too many times.

Edward called me a goddess. I knew enough not to acknowledge this kind of attention anymore. I didn't like it, in fact, I felt like I was on display for everyone to see. Pulling up my hoodie, I hid inside my hood for sometime, inhaling Edward's sweet scent. It comforted me, engulfing me in brief peace. Then I pulled it down, focusing on Angie's voice.

"-your way to the Avenue House and look for the route markers alongside it." Angela paused. "Oh, I don't think I like the sound of this . . . but okay. Let's head over to Avenue House, guys! Make sure you don't lose anything you've brought with you today!"

I grinned, the maternal side of our fearless leader showing. "Yes, Mom." I said monotonously. Everyone laughed at my joke, and it felt great to have people acknowledge my personality rather than my looks. Riley shifted closer, winking when I cocked a brow - a habit I learned from Edward.

"Trust me, Bella. Your boyfriend told me to protect you against all odds. And," he nodded towards the direction of the still gaping waiter, "that has 'danger' written all over it."

His words made sense. No wonder Edward came up to talk to him earlier, when he was still with Midnight Sun in the restaurant.

Angela peered into her map, then she searched up the brochure of the bus routes. We all followed her lead, trying our best to figure out how to get from here to there. Avenue House was near Finchley, about seven minutes away from the nearest tube station. Or a subway station, if you're speaking in American terms.

So all we had to do was to go over to the Finchley Central Tube Station. I voiced that out quietly, hyper-aware of the Eric Yorkie trying his best to listen it. He failed, miserably. Rose smirked evilly at him, Jasper covering his mouth to hide his laughter.

"Bus 125 it is." Nettie Hemming grinned at Angela.

London is beautiful. No, it was more than that. The buildings seemed rural almost, yet completely in the new. I didn't know how to describe it. Of course, I took plenty of pictures. Lots of them, actually, for my mother and father. I could picture Mom's excited face when she gets to see the pictures later on. Not ot mention Dad's curious expression. That would be a total sight to behold.

Avenue House was _enormous. _And you couldn't possibly call it a house. It seemed like a mini-castle, what with the really big doors. I was thrilled that, when we got there, I spotted one guy from Edward's group poking about the bushes. He didn't look like he was any closer to finding the road markers either. So that meant that Midnight Sun was still here, still looking.

We decided to look around the side of Avenue House, but not long after we got down onto our knees, we caught sight of Edward flying past by us with an envelop in his hand as well as the road marker. He wore a triumphant expression on his face, something so glorious that I had to catch my breath. Twice. Watching Edward lead was probably one of the most interesting things I've ever seen. He would turn into this . . . I don't know, he'd turn into a completely different person from the goofball I knew him to be.

It's as if he really _was _born to lead.

A couple of minutes later, I got lucky by finding the next road marker and clue, though I risked getting my favorite brown hoodie dirty. I found them among the rose bushes in the garden, which was a typically hard place to look into, what with the thorns and all. My hands were scraped, but it didn't stop me from reaching into the bushes and grabbing the dirty white envelop.

"Guys, guys, over here!" I called, pointing at the clue of which I held. Everyone huddled around me, and I passed it on to Angela to read. She was our leader, so I figured she deserved the right to read it. When she did, she groaned out, "Roadblock."

That was all it took to make the fortuitous smiles we wore turn into ugly grimaces.

Bye-bye good luck, I thought.

She showed us the clue and I caught the words, "Who wants to be the brainiac of the day?" Everyone looked at each other sceptically, waiting for someone to raise their hand to volunteer, but there was no one who wanted to do so. Out of the silent doubt, a booming voice shouted, "Oh hell yeah! Who's the boss!" Emmett. And he probably found the next clue.

I started to freak out; but there was no volunteers.

Then I bit my lip, wondering if I should do it. But what if I screwed up? I'd never hear the end of it from Emmett, plus I might disappoint my group if I failed. That wouldn't be good now, would it? _Oh, grow up, Bella! _The snappy cheerleader within shouted at me, wagging her finger. I tilted my head back when I realized she was right - it was childish of me to doubt my ability now. I could do this. I know I can.

With bravery and courage, I imagined how Edward would react to my volunteering. "I'll do it," I said in a soft but determined voice. Everyone snapped their heads, looking at me. Then Angela grinned, and I knew I did something worth the trepidation of failing. At least I knew I'd tried.

She handed me the envelop and I read through the task. It seemed easy enough, solving a singular puzzle that would point out the pit-stop of the race. I grinned, mostly because when I was younger, Charlie and I used to make puzzles all the time. It was sort of his and my forte; we were a team, indestructible and powerful. We'd finish any type of puzzles within fifteen minutes.

I rushed past Midnight Sun, towards Mr. Berty who nodded at me, indicating for me to begin. Their representative was still there, fixing the puzzle, looking confused but together. I didn't mean to, but I caught a glimpse of his work; he started from inside out, which was the craziest thing you'd ever do in puzzle solving.

From a far, I swear I could hear Twilight's massive cheers erupting as I spilled the puzzle pieces and began rifling my way through them for the corner ones. Memories engulfed me and it was just me and my dad, fixing a puzzle with him telling me to start with the corners first, then the edges. From then on, everything would come into place. I had to do deductive reasoning, but that was okay.

I had never, _ever, _been so focused in my entire life before. All thoughts were thrown out the window as I watched my fingers fly over the pieces. Alice, from Emmett's team, took the makeshift table beside me. Rosalie had decided to do the challenge as well, with both her team and Emmett cheering her on. Of course, Tyler arrived not that far apart from us, and soon it was all out war between the groups as they cheered us on.

Edward and Emmett competed in terms of the cheers. Both of them were loud, though Emmett's booming voice was to be expected. What was _un_expected though, was Edward's incredibly loud, almost titanic shaking of the cheers. His voice commanded for you to listen. Even I found it hard to focus on my puzzle.

The guy from Midnight Sun glanced at his puzzle, then he cried, "Done!" I didn't bother to look up, three and a half quarters finished myself. But I felt Edward's gaze on me. When I didn't respond, he moved away.

Suddenly, from across the courtyard, he shouted, "ISABELLA SWAN YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE YOU!"

_Ping! _My head snapped up, my cheeks already the color of a cooked lobster. Emmett guffawed, at Edward's cheesy words or at my expression, I didn't know. I couldn't quite care because the girls were all fawning over him, looking so touched like they were the ones he'd confessed to. It was typical of him to do that, what with Edward having a flare for the dramatic arts.

I giggled, thinking of what he'd say when we meet each other later.

He, on the other hand, was still waiting for a reply. Though it was absurd, corny and undeniably weird, I screamed back, "I LOVE YOU TOO! NOW GO BEFORE TWILIGHT KICKS YOUR ASS!" My declaration made lots of people go, 'ooh,' and this only made Em look like he could piss in his pants. I shook my head, still blushing furiously, and tried to pull back my attention onto the puzzle in front of me.

Placing the final piece into the puzzle, I took a step back to view it.

Buckingham Palace. I should've known!

I knew how the Palace looked like because of the many pictures I saw displayed in the books I read about London. Okay, okay, I know it was geeky and stupid of me to do that, but I was really curious. When Twilight saw that I was done, Angela rushed over, screaming exultantly in my ear, "Oh, god, oh, god! You did it! Congrats!"

"Thanks," I grinned at her. Around me, my whole group devoured me into a huge hug that could rival Em's bearlike embrace. Afterwards, when they saw the picture, Mr. Berty came up to us, telling that, since it was the pit-stop, transportation would be provided for us. "But you little midgets will have to find it." He cackled evilly, patting his stomach.

Lucy Daniels rolled her eyes at him, and we were soon on our way searching for god knows what. Of course, I wished the rest of the groups good luck, all the while laughing at Alice, who decided to redo the entire thing. I gave her Dad's superb advice even though we weren't supposed to be helping each other. She passed it on to Rose, who passed it on reluctantly to Jessica, who was on Tyler's team.

Vladimir, a guy who originated from Romania and who also had a big brother in Yale, spotted the same tour bus we took on the way to the first station. It was on the bus where we created our group cheers, which was all provided by Riley. Angela also used the opportunity to debrief us, saying that she was really proud that we were so united today.

"It's our first day out here in Europe, and you guys are just amazing. Not to mention none of you lost your bandannas yet, which is pretty impressive unlike Eric Yorkie's team." She beamed.

As we got off the bus, Riley pumped us all up by crying out our group cheer, "Everywhere we go-o!"

"Everywhere we go-o!" we echoed.

"People want to know-o!"

"People want to know-o!"

Together, we screamed as we ran towards Mr. Varner's distinctive figure against the Buckingham Palace. "Who we are, where we come from! So we say-eh!"

"So we say-eh!"

"We come from Twilight, mighty, mighty, Twilight! Goody, goody Twilight! Awesome, awesome Twilight!" And then it was a flurry of crazy laughter and insane whoops as we reached the surprised looking teacher. Edward and his team, I could see, was goofing off behind a wall that was supposed to hide them. I saw Edward laughing, his wide smile so clear.

His emeralds sparkled, even from this distance.

Even though we didn't win, we were contented by being second-place. The main point was that we'd enjoyed ourselves and learnt much about London. as he dismissed us, I stood, awestruck, looking up at the Buckingham Palace. I couldn't believe that I was standing in front of one of the world's most prominent buildings. From the books I read, the beauty of such a gorgeous building was not sufficient in words. It felt like I was staring at something both ancient and modern.

My hand reached for my camera, and I snapped a picture of it. I turned, snapping more pictures as Edward and the rest of his group mingled with Twilight. I saw his expression shift from being exultant to worried as he scanned the area. Then he caught me looking at him and made a move to come over. I halted him by raising my hand, palm towards him, and shouted, "Pose!"

He laughed and did the universal 'peace' sign. And, later, he got both our groups to stand with Mr. Varner to take a picture of them against the Buckingham Palace, a dose my mother surely would enjoy. When it was over, Edward wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into his body. He kissed my nose, making me scrunch it up.

"Ew. I stink, Edward." I protested, laughing when he raised an eyebrow.

Then he leaned in, sniffing at my hair. "On the contrary, you smell of . . . strawberries. And the earth. Just the perfect scent for my girl." I smiled at him, inwardly swooning like a teenage girl meeting the celebrity of her dreams.

It may sound crazy, but hey, this is love.


	28. New Home

_**Author's Note: We've reached the two hundred, people! That, right there, deserves a round of applause for you guys for making me shift my lazy ass over to the computer to write chapter after chapter. As always, I've loved working on CYKAS, and I think it's one of the stories that I'll never forget –since it's the first that received so much reviews. So SUPER MEGA ULTRA HUGE GINORMOUS KING-KONG SIZED (there's always a first, eh?) THANK YOUs TO dvickd, Kristel Masen-Lee, ameleighlove (glad to know you've enjoyed the experience so far ^^), Scooterchick101, AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234 (thanks! And, wow, Italy and Greece? I'm a jealous woman. Nah, I'm just kidding. Have fun out there, yeah? =) I'm also pretty relieved to know that I managed to nail Edward's brotherly role towards Emmett really well. I thought that I'd screwed up on that part.), and MeFromMars (Lol, those were a few songs off from my iPod, actually. =) Yeah, Edward's pretty cute and cheesy, but hey, that's how I wanted him to be. I really wanted to mix in Em and Rose into the equation because I felt like they were being left out. My chapters seemed to revolve around Bella and Edward so much that I couldn't even stand it. Sorry, I'm rambling here. =/ I'll just . . . yeah, I'll just shut up now.) **_

_**I also want to address a tiny problem here: plagiarism. I could go on and on, but that would make you hate me for hogging up the space. Can you lovely people do me a tiny favor? Keep an eye out in case you see any similar stories compared to mine. If they did it way after my story was first published, don't be afraid to let me know –I really need to know this stuff too. =) **_

_**You guys all readied up for this new chapter? No? Well, too bad. You're gonna have to read it anyway. =) So grab that munchkins, the huge fluffy pillows and ENJOY! **_

_**~Serene.**_

_**Disclaimer: Twilight and me - despite my opinionated views - simply cannot mesh. **_

* * *

><p><span>EPOV<span>

Whoever said packing was such a chore? It's pretty dang easy, if you ask me. Just stuff everything into that suitcase and zip it up. That's the point of packing light - you don't even have to sweat. I grinned, wiping my hands off the back of my jeans.

But that grin disappeared when I remembered why I was packing up. If you're thinking about the whole European excursion thing coming to a close; you're in it to lose it. We wrapped that up over a couple of days ago. Today was the day I was going to move out of the Cullen's house, and trust me, that wasn't exactly okay on my part. I looked around the suddenly empty room; all my other stuff was packed into boxes, ready to be shipped off towards the apartment I found in Port Angeles.

There, in that corner by the desk, I used to sit there as a thirteen year old, looking at my family's picture - the one Emmett saw, the one that felt like a brick in my pockets. I remember how I'd be so damn disoriented and spend hours and hours just looking into my mother's face, wishing for her to come back. It wasn't even the slightest bit effective. I learned that the hardest way possible.

Over by the bed, I grimaced at the memories that ran through my mind. Tanya, Irina, Bree and all those other girls I bedded. They were just naive at that time - gullible and stupid enough to give themselves to a sex-crazed, hormonal teenager. All those girls, with the help of Bella, I've managed to apologized to. They deserved my sorry. I didn't deserve their forgiveness.

My desk - I spent an entire day at one point simply writing compositions. When my music failed me, when I couldn't find inspiration - it's hard to do that when you're only fifteen - I tried writing in a damn journal. Of course, after the first couple of sentences, the idea went completely down the drain. I saw the miniature version of a keyboard, one seriously tiny thing, that I practised Momma's compositions on till the keys were suckish.

The sofa and the TV, Carlisle and Esme had gotten that for me when I was fourteen. That awesome stereo system, the one that Carlisle had gotten for me just this year. I loved it, and I never got to thank him properly. Neither did I say thanks for my Aston or the Volvo, which I can't claim as mine now. All those CDs - I only watched a handful of them.

I'll never get the chance to see the rest.

Everything that belonged to this room was given to me undeniably, with no questions. Now I'm going to have to leave them. _Yeah, because you were so idiotically stupid to not be grateful and say a damned 'thank you.' Jesus, Masen, you act like the world's ending! Suck it up, man. You deserved all the shit that's been happening to you. Grow up. You're not a seventeen year old anymore. Enough with the partying, the happy moments. It's time for you to get on with life, even though it's freaking sucky at the moment._

Ah, yes. Even my inner voice decided to make an appearance for today's parting.

What the hell would I do without it? I rolled my eyes for lack of anything better to do. Then I picked up the photograph of me and Bella in Paris, on either side of the Eiffel Tower, pretending to lean against it with our hands intertwined together at the centre of the picture. I grinned, chuckling at the onslaught of memories that came from the European excursion.

* * *

><p>"Where the hell are we going?" I complained, uncomfortable by the stupid blindfold. I didn't know why they'd be willing to annoy the crap out of me; for all I know, Emmett or Jasper was going to bash me or something. That was the type of adoration you'd expect from my brothers. "Uh-uh, not telling!" Bella laughed, and it mellowed me some. Her tiny hand pulled me forward and I concentrated on getting one foot in front of the other.<p>

"Yeah, Edward, stop being a shit-face and just keep walking. We didn't escape from the clutches of Bertsman and Varner just to hear you spew annoying stuff," Rose slapped my back. I flinched, flicking at the air even though I knew she wasn't there. All I saw was black; I didn't like it. Who in their right mind would?

For once, I understood what it was like to be blinded. Literally.

The rest of the excursion was pretty much out of this world. London, while it was awesome, couldn't compare to Germany. Much like a repeat of the UK, the teachers organized for us to do a little rerun of the Amazing Race. I'd like to say I learned some really cool stuff about the place, blah blah blah, but then I'd be lying. And I'm through with the lies. I just wanted to get the shit done, mostly because our dinner was on the line for that one. First place gets to choose whatever dinner service they wanted.

Like the first run of our little Amazing Race, my group won that race too. Yeah, I'm a smug bastard. But to hell with it. Midnight Sun has never been so united against apple-onion soup.

Of course, since the rest of the groups were looking at us with envy, we decided to cut up the Chocolate Lebkuchen that we had and divided them equally with the others. I gave mine up completely for Tyler Crowley's group. Impressed, all the teachers chipped in to buy us more, resulting in a total war of who could get to the zwieback rolls.

I love Germany. But not as much as how I love Paris.

Ever wondered what it was like to eat chocolate bonbons on a dare and trying hard not to puke them out? Trust me, it's really satisfying after all the choking and grimacing from the whisky or brandy inside the little balls of fury. Em and Jasper made do with twenty-two before they got enough alcohol in them to feel wasted. I'm smug to say that I lasted way more than that. Not to mention that I managed to walk in a straight line as well.

Alice had gotten me dressed in a sports jacket, some tapered pants to match with the somewhat fancy suit. I didn't get a chance to see Bella before they blindfolded me, thrusting me out into the open while whispering, "Keep an eye on Mr. Berty! No, not there you fool! Principal Greene's sitting right there, you idiot! The other way, the other way!"

Guess who rammed those sentences at the rest of my family? Nah, it's not Alice. She would've pulverized them. Bella was frantic with her words trying to sneak us out the _hotel saphir grenelle. _A bossy Bella is actually pretty entertaining, from what I could hear. Right now, though, I just wanted to know where the heck we were going.

I rammed into something hard. "Ow! Hey, what the-"

Someone tugged off the darn blindfold, and my eyes were circling around trying to get used to the sudden incoming of light. I probably looked like a possessed person to the innocent eye. I swear a little girl started crying for her mommy in french. Then my eyes stilled, and my eyes widened.

We - my family and I - stood a couple of miles away from the Eiffel Tower, underneath a cover of a restaurant. I didn't bother to read the sign; I was too fixed on the Tower itself. Holy shit, it all I can say. Once you see it, you can't stop looking at it. The Eiffel Tower had this sort of beauty, almost trance-like, that I couldn't help but reach up to close my gaping mouth. The black stillness of it was almost . . . dreamlike in the night. I wondered how in the world those crazy architects managed to build something as cool as _this. _

From my back, I heard the most soulful, brilliant, sweet-like-honey voice carefully sing out, "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Edward, happy birthday to you!" The Frenchman playing the guitar in front of the restaurant smiled at me, hearing the familiar melody. He strummed and sang along with the rest of my family. I nodded gratefully at him, then turned towards Bella and the others.

My jaw, twice this time, fell open. Not because she remembered it was my birthday, not because I haven't celebrated a proper birthday in nearly eleven years, but because she looked so damn stunning in that fancy cocktail dress of hers - something I knew Alice forced upon her.

She was the most beautiful creature on this whole damn universe, and she was mine.

Holy shit.

The rest of my siblings suited up too. Alice looked great in the black dress; Rosalie like a goddess in her red, fiery one. Em and Jazz wore identical sports jackets, though underneath Jasper's jacket I could see the _Star Wars _logo. Yeah, go figure. That brother of mine was geekily weird, but hey, he's part of what makes me.

I looked down to see Bella holding out a huge cake - coffee, no less - with a big candle and seven other small ones. They were lighted up, and through the diffused light of the window from the restaurant, I saw the words, _'To Edward - our lovable pianist.' _That's when I started laughing, the sudden bubble of sheer happiness rising up my chest. Sure, call it deep or whatever, but that's exactly how I felt. In that moment, I forgot that I was the son of an insane, sadistic father and a deceased pianist extraordinaire. I forgot that the new set of parents who were supposed to take care of me for life were going to disown me.

This moment right here, where I had the whole restaurant singing to me a happy birthday song, made me think that I'm only Edward. I'm only _me. _

"Happy birthday, Edward," Bella smiled her warmest smile, something that would probably light up any dark day of mine.

"Cards on the table, who planned this?" I looked around after blowing out the candles. None of my siblings took the initiative to speak, so I raised an eyebrow. "Bella, man. It's all Bella." I whirled back to my girlfriend, astounded. She . . . she did all of _this _for me? Just because it's my freaking birthday? She risked being caught sneaking out, she took the effort to find a route towards this restaurant, to actually get me to see the Eiffel-freaking-Tower?

I loved this woman. "Wow, baby, I don't know what to say," I laughed breathlessly, resting my hand on her waist, bringing her closer to me. "A simple 'thank you' would suffice. Besides, it wasn't all me. Alice provided the clothes," she murmured modestly into my chest. I kissed the top of her head and looked over at Alice, who was smiling really widely with a camera in her hands.

She shrugged, "I couldn't let us celebrate in horrendous clothes, now, could I? Now let's get going into the restaurant; I wanna eat!" All of us laughed, taking pictures with the dude with the guitar. Emmett, Jasper and I tried looking like a statue with him in one photograph. Then we were air-guitaring and Em faux-smashed his guitar onto the ground. Yeah, we went pretty wild.

Afterwards, it was the girls turn. They posed like supermodels, Rosalie thrusting her hip out with one hand in her usual sassy persona. "Damn! I'd tap that!" Em hollered, whistling. The few tourists - Americans, I think - pointed at us and began laughing at our wildness. I didn't care though. I was with my family in an unknown, crazy but ultimately awesome place. What more can there be?

Bella and Al were doing the universal peace sign, pulling faces. Then it was the couples turn, Emmett carrying Rose bridal-style while she fluttered her eyelids adoringly at him. Jasper had to take the picture five times; he didn't know where the button was. Then it was his turn with Alice. I could have sworn, despite Jasper only draping his arm around Alice while they stared at each other, that my little sister was blushing like hell.

"Okay, enough laughing at my expense," she narrowed her eyes at me, "go Mr-I'm-so-photogenic. Go do something better than Em's pose with Rose, and I'll make sure Em and Jazzy eat bonbons for the rest of the trip."

I smiled confidently. "Hell to the yeah."

"What? Ally, sweetie, how could you?" Jazz looked genuinely hurt. I laughed at his expression and took Bella's hand, eyeing the Tower in speculation. From this angle, I could pretend like I was leaning on it. Like that Leaning Tower of Pisa. My mind calculated the odds, then I thought, _what the hell? _And decided to just go for it. It's my birthday, after all. I'm practically permitted to do anything I wanted.

As Alice duelled with Jasper and Emmett, I whispered to Bella to stand a couple of feet apart. Rose watched us, interested, before finally getting the bigger picture. "Nice," she mouthed, winking at me. Propping one leg up on the air and turning with my back faced towards her, I reached for my baby's hand, intertwining them. "If you guys are done, we're ready." I told them.

They stared at me. "Why the heck must Edward rock at _everything?_" Em whined. I laughed and shook my head. _Not everything, _I thought, _I don't rock at saying sorry, I don't rock at trying to get Carlisle and Esme to stop the disown. I don't rock at loving someone without doubting myself first. _

Okay, seriously Masen, enough. It's your eighteenth birthday. Live a little.

And the blinding light of the camera distracted me from my thoughts.

* * *

><p>I smiled wider at the picture, at Bella's wide smile. I didn't even bother to look at my miserable self - it was only Bella who I was interested in. But I sighed, placing the photograph into my duffel bag and hefted it over my shoulder. I glanced around, made sure I left nothing but my former self, and was about to walk through the door when someone stopped me.<p>

Esme. My adoptive mother.

Her eyes were shining, but the tears didn't fall. It was better this way so I wouldn't break down either. You'd think I'm a strong, reliable person, but you're dead wrong. Between Em and I, I'd take Emmett. That fool was so much better than I was in ways I never can think of. He'd be strong enough, I know, for the rest of them. That's why I chose this way to leave - the day where they were all out with Bella in a bonding session. They'd said goodbye, but they didn't how true it was for me.

It was probably the last time I'd ever see them.

_Don't dwell on that, asshole, just get on with it, _the voice was almost mentally drained. Huh. That made two of us.

"Hi," I looked at the ground, shuffling my feet and carrying the two boxes I'd be bringing along with me. "Hello," she greeted sadly, and bent down to help pick the third and final box I'd be needing. I looked up to meet Esme's kind but mellowed gaze, the hope springing to life, but it died down when I crushed it into smithereens. I didn't want to be broken again. Hell no. It was useless.

My mother for all intents and purposes whispered, "Did you find a house?"

"Yeah, but it's actually an apartment. It's in Port Angeles, though. I can easily travel to Forks for work and all." I muttered sheepishly, ashamed that that was the best I could do. Someone else would have done better, someone else but me. Told you I was unreliable. And stupid. And retarded.

Esme lifted a set of keys; I recognized them. Two days ago I finally gave up my beloved Volvie, surrendering my keys to them. I couldn't get attached anymore, despite how much I needed them. 'Sides, the car belonged to the Cullens, I had no right to own it. "You left this on the kitchen table, Edward. I thought you might want it back."

"Uh, but the car's yours." I stated dumbly.

She shook her head, a tiny tear starting to make its way down her cheek. "It's a gift, Edward. You, out of all people, should know I _never _take back gifts. The Aston was your fa-, I mean, Carlisle's idea. This was mine. Take it. You need it more than we do." I grinned lightly, touching her warm cheek that now held the flow of a tear.

Her soft, maternal face reminded me of Momma. Hell, everything about Esme reminded me of my mother. Seeing her was like seeing Momma in a different form; same characteristics, personality and softness, just in a wholly other expression. "No, Esme. I can't accept this anymore. To make it easier on all of us, let's just assume I never was in the family in the first place. Give Jazz my motorcycle; you know the one. Em would love my Volvo. Rose would enjoy my Aston. And Alice . . . give her that porsche I promised her. Take it out from my bank account, or what remains of it as well. If it's not enough, I'll pay you back the remaining amount."

I took a deep breath, hefted the heavy stuff, and kissed her cheek. "And thank you, Esme. Both you and Carlisle. I know I've been such an asshole, but the two of you have been there for me," _until now, _the voice added in, "so . . . take care of yourself. Love you."

Then I moved past her to walk towards the front yard, where my cab was waiting. I called it in from Seattle. Yeah, crazy, I know, but it was the only way I could think of to bring me to Port Angeles without using the Volvo. The driver helped me loaded my stuff into the trunk, then he gave me time to look at the house that's been my home for so long.

White, modern yet Victorian, elongated with the structure, this house had seen me at my best and worst. I closed my eyes and I could hear the river running behind the house itself, I could smell the ready-to-eat dinner packages Esme bought to spare the family from her horrible cooking. I smelled the thick books Carlisle had in his library, Alice's shoes - both old and new - in her shoe cupboard. There was a whiff that came from Jasper's room - the scent of a typical gamer's room. Emmett's stinky football boots were easily distinguishable as well.

The Cullen house was home. But it wasn't _my _home. At least, not anymore.

"You all ready, son?" the cabbie threw his cigarette onto the ground and stepped on it. I nodded. "Take me outta here, boss." He seemed to like me calling him boss. Entering the cab, I watched the house fly past by me.

A weird sense of sadness mixed with desperation lined my head, crippling my impassive face. Damn it. I'd sort of planned being completely emotionless throughout the entire time. There goes my composure. I stared out into the passing trees, feeling like a kid facing the whole wide world. It was childish, yes, but in contrast to that fake bubble of joy came the despair; it felt like I was going against the world.

The driver was the one who broke the awkward silence. "You goin' to college, son?"

"No, sir," I answered ruefully, "I'm only eighteen. Still got one school year left."

He glanced at me in the rearview mirror, "Hey, you're the kid who went on Youtube right? The one who was pretty damn good at the . . . what's that? Keyboard? Piano?" I raised my eyebrows in surprise. Great, now even cabbies knew of my existence in Youtube. When was that ever going to die down? "You heard of that?" I asked.

"Yep. Kinda hard not to miss, ya know? Heard about it on the radio. You've got quite the fan-base, son."

"Uh, thanks." It was quiet after that. My guess was that he didn't really know what to say.

We reached the destination, the building where my apartment would be. The driver was more or less buttered up by my popularity on the Net, and he helped me unload. Before he left though, he gave a farewell I didn't think a normal cabbie would say to a random stranger. "Good luck, son. Whatever's bothering ya, don't think too much 'bout it. What doesn't kill ya only makes ya stronger. See you round, kiddo."

And he was gone. I shook my head, letting the heaviness of my chest creep back in. Letting myself into the apartment, I looked around the dark place. It wasn't small, hell no, far from it. But it wasn't that big either. Just enough. The whole size of it reminded me of my room back at the Cullen's house. Except this was equipped with a kitchen, fridge, bathroom and two other bedrooms I didn't know what else to do with.

I chuckled darkly, already hating the entire space, "Well, Masen, welcome home."

BPOV

"We've got about five new leads," I pulled out the printed papers, "Siobhan's residences consists of two in Wisconsin, one in Colorado, and of course there's Chicago, and lastly, in North Carolina. She's in either all of this states, apart from Chicago. She's moved out of that state a long, long time ago. I think she left about a year after Edward ran away."

Alice's usually hyper mood had all but vanished. She was in total focus mode now. Mission Recuperate Edward was a go. "I've also done some research; Siobhan's alone. Her family's living in Mississippi."

"Okay, let's get this show on the road. Here're the numbers I thought would be crucial, you know, seeing as one of them might actually be her number." I took out printed lists; but these were really long. Each list had lines and rows of numbers of the different states. Some were working, some weren't. I know it would be tiresome and really patience-testing, but I had to do this. Edward already helped me in my closure, it was time for me to do the same for him.

Give and take. That's what a relationship's all about.

Emmett voluntarily took Colorado, Rosalie taking North Carolina, Jasper and Alice both attacking the lists for Wisconsin, and I would be rechecking Chicago as well as Mississippi, for Siobhan's family. We began to prepare to get our cellphone bills blown up - but we didn't care. It was all for Edward. I tried calling the first number I saw on the list, holding my pen as I placed my cellphone on speaker-phone.

This felt like I was in a call-centre, for some absurd reason. "Hello?" A male voice on the other line asked, already annoyed. _Well, hello to you too, asshole. I'm not exactly patient here, either._

"Hi, this is Bella Swan, and I'm looking for someone named Siobhan Sheeran-"

The man cut me off. "Don't know her." And he hung up on me. I sighed, cancelling the number on the list. After three hours worth of calling and calling and calling, we came up with nothing. The worst part? We weren't even covering half of the pages yet. Rose almost caught a lead, but it turned out to be a different Siobhan Sheeran.

We sat in a loose circle, all of our faces tired and dreaded. Well, except for Emmett. He looked like he could eat the wood from off my furniture. "You guys hungry? I can whip up something for you." I offered, feeling like an ungracious host for not asking them earlier. I could have driven Brandon over to the local cafeteria and gotten them lattes or something.

It appeared that we needed some serious caffeine intake. Yes, okay, I understand that caffeine only makes you more tired - not to mention it's pretty unhealthy - but who cares? It still gives you a boost in energy. And, clearly, that's what we needed now. Somehow, this felt like I was cramming for exams, staying up all night trying to get mathematical sums or facts inside my head. I cracked my neck and stood up.

"Nah, we're fine. We need to head home anyway, Edward's probably missing us." Em stood up as well, coming over to give me a goodbye hug. All of them took their turn, and while I also offered to bring them home, they blatantly refused. "We'll come back tomorrow, Bella. Promise. I want to help Edward as much as you do," Jasper patted my head before hugging me.

"Sure; we all do." I hugged him back.

I waved to them, watching as they pulled out my driveway. Charlie's snores was pretty loud in the silent night, and I shivered. My bedroom was scattered with several papers, maps and strewn rubbish. I waded through the piles of nonsensical trash before lying down on my bed and closing my eyes.

My dream was different somehow - I didn't know why I was here. It was pure black, like my eyes were closed though that wasn't far from the truth. But I couldn't see anything. I could only hear. _"Bella," _someone whispered my name, "_Bella why didn't you save me?" _

Edward. I'd recognize his voice anywhere, anytime.

Opening my mouth, I called, _"Where are you? I can't see! I'm going to protect you, I swear! Where are you?" _

_"No, you didn't save me . . . you don't love me." _he accused. I screamed in frustration, trying to break through the bindings of the dark. I wanted to see him, needed was more like it. Where was he? Why couldn't I see him? Why is he angry? It's funny really, because I could feel my head whipping around, yet I saw nothing. _"Of course I love you! And I'll do everything I can to save you now. Where are you, Edward?" _

No reply.

_"Damn it, Edward! Where are-"_

A shrill ringing of my phone broke me off from my disturbing dream. Groggily, I picked up my phone and pressed the green button, "Hel-"

"Bella, Bella? Bella!" Alice was screaming in pure, undiluted panic and fear. I caught on quickly, "Alice, calm down. What's going on? Did something happen to Edward?" My heart hammered as I heard the background over the phone; it was noisy, like there were five people shuffling about and shouting at each other. I had to press my phone harder against my ear to hear what Alice had to say. "Yes, Bella, he's missing! My brother's missing!" she cried, and I could hear the tears in her voice.

Someone on the background was crying as well. Men were shouting. But this was all insignificant as my blood went cold from the news. My dream was like a prediction; where was my Edward? "What? No, no . . . did you ask Carlisle or Esme where he is?"

"We did," it was Jasper now. I assumed that Alice was too gobsmacked to talk. "And they said that he's gone off into his apartment in Port Angeles. We don't know where though, and it's freaking us out because he's not even picking up his phone."

"I'll try calling him. Tell you later if he picks up." I informed, urgency twisting my fingers. I wanted to call him, to hear his voice and know that he's okay. I felt strangely unsettled; my stomach churned in complete worry, grinding against itself. I fought back the bile as I speed-dialled Edward's number, tapping my fingers nervously against my phone.

_"The number you have dialled is not available. Please try again later." _The mechanical voice was scratching at my ears and it only peaked my anxiety. I tried calling again, and I got voice-mail this time. It wasn't much, but at least it was progress. Something to hold on to. _"Hey, this is Edward. Leave a message!" _

Breathing deeply, I whispered passionately, "Edward Cullen, please pick up your phone. I'm going really crazy here - and you should know that Al and the others are freaking out because you've never said goodbye to them. You never said goodbye to me. If this is your way of protecting us or whatever, it's really crazy. Come home-"

His voice broke through, catching me off guard. "I no longer have a home." There it was in his voice. The sound of change. The sound of a different man. What happened to the cocky, arrogant but completely blissful Edward?

"What makes you say so? You could have asked me if you could stay in my house!"

"Don't yell at me! What did I do wrong?"

"You didn't say goodbye, that's what's wrong! Alice and the rest of your family . . . they're worried shitless because of what you're doing. Please, Edward, come back. Or at least say goodbye to them." I bit my lip, tears in my eyes. The bile was coming back with a vengeance, I wasn't sure if I could take it anymore. This distant, cold Edward was not the one I know and love.

His voice was soft, "It's easier this way, Bella. They should act like I never exist, so it'll be easy on them."

"But you're wrong! Again! Stop trying to be heroic, Edward! At least say a farewell to your siblings, don't you think they deserve one? And what about me? What about . . . us?" My voice was wobbly.

Even quietly, "I don't know. But I _do _know that you're right. I'll say my goodbye to Alice and the rest. I'll say my goodbye to you . . . but please don't expect me to keep visiting them, Bella. I can't live with the idea of ripping myself further anymore. Everything I've done, I've done it for the benefit of them and you. And if you think I don't feel a schmuck-"

"Are you breaking up with me?"

Silence. My heart thudded almost painfully, and I couldn't hold back the cries. Tiny sniffles turned into soft cries which changed into sobs. I muffled them by pressing my hand against my mouth, hoping he wouldn't hear it. Why? Of all the time, why now? I couldn't bear the pain of him leaving me; he's my rock, my eclipse, the one person in this whole universe who could hold me together. If he left me, I wouldn't know what I would do.

"Can you believe . . . despite everything that you and I have been through, that I love you? You're everything to me, Bella, of course I'm not breaking up with you. That's just stupid. Why would I do so? I just . . . I'm scared as shit, love. I'm afraid I can't hold myself when I say goodbye to my siblings. It's like saying goodbye to them for good - and that's something I can't live with."

Relief and corresponding joy exploded in my chest, which had been constricting in agony all the time I awaited his reply. His words and the fact that he really _does _love me, made me feel stupid for doubting him in the first place. I felt like a needy girlfriend. I _must _work on that. "Yeah, actually. I _can _believe. I also believe that we'll help you through this, no matter what. We're a team, remember? We love you, but you really need to inform us on where you live."

My light-hearted tone at the end made him laugh aloud, "Just beside the bookshop, love. You'll love it, since you're all nerdy and stuff."

"Excuse me? Who's the one who begged me to play_ Mario Bros _with him? On his _Gameboy? _What are you, Edward, five?"

"Shut up. I had a depressing childhood."

"Whatever. Go call Alice. I think she really wants to talk to you. And please, take it easy." I teased. Then I added in, "And I love you. Good night."

"You're sleeping? Oh, okay. Night. Love you more." I waited, but he didn't hang up. "Edward?" I asked through my phone quizzically, eyebrows unified into one. "Why aren't you hanging up?"

He only laughed, "Waiting for you to do so, sweetheart."

"Oh." I murmured in revelation. Then I heard him call my name quietly, "Bella?"

"I'm listening."

"Sleep well," he breathed, disconnecting. I glanced at my phone, at the display picture of him and me, feeling the remorse in my chest fading into subtle relief. I lied down, hugging my pillow and crazily wishing it was him. Remember what I said about love? Turns out it's not only crazy, it's emotionally distressing. But with Edward, he managed to make everything okay.

_I'll find Siobhan, Edward, _I thought fiercely before I closed my eyes, _I'll find her and I'll save you. I promise. And a Swan never goes back on her promise. _


	29. Enough With The Assumptions

_**Author's Note: Wow, 210 reviews? I was really not expecting that! =) You guys rock! So SUPER MEGA ULTRA HUGE HULK (hehehe, I got hooked on the Avengers, yeah, I know, lame right? But it's surprisingly humorous!) SIZED THANK YOUs TO stormy315, vickybooksxtwilightx, MeFromMars (thank you for reading between the lines. =) I tried my best to hide all his emotions –of course, I wanted so bad to keep going on and on about him getting into a new life by himself, but I just couldn't. It broke my heart to do this chapter, because I myself can imagine the isolation and fear one might feel once they set foot into something they don't even know what to do in. And, yep, 30 Seconds to Mars definitely owns my heart; love their music! Have you heard Hurricane? =) And, thank god! That's such a relief to know I haven't left Em and Rose out. I enjoy long reviews though; it's these kind of stuff that keeps me motivated. And, finally, thank you. Really. For keeping an eye out on my story. =D), MrsMeganTomlinson, marzu93, divkd, (He is. =) Don't worry, he'll find a way. It's summer anyway, and the final few chapters will conclude the story entirely. You always manage to make me smile with your reviews, be it long or short. Thanks, you're an angel, really. =D), AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234 (Lol, I wasn't planning on scaring you. =) Sorry if I gave you a heart attack or whatever. And this isn't the Edward from Twilight *as much as I wish it was so, but it'd be plagiarism if that happened* 'cause he needs Bella more than she needs him. And thank you, it isn't at all easy. I find it difficult to keep switching POVs, but hey. It works. =) Don't worry, keep up the good work and try to think out of perspective if you wanna do Edward's POV. Just think of yourself as another person, and that'll do. ^^) and Kirrin Bregh Beautiful Vamp (I know you probably won't read this, but I already knew there were people getting disinterested from my story. =/ But still, thanks for reading it and giving it a chance till it burned out. =) Really appreciate it, I do.) **_

_**And, for all those concerned with Edward and Bella, don't be so anxious. They're still together. How can they not? Lol, jk. Summer's coming up, so turn up that air-con, grab a pillow, and ENJOY! =) **_

_**~Serene.**_

_**Disclaimer: I'm trying to act like I own Twilight, but it's failing epically. **_

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><p><span>EPOV<span>

_"Bastard! Retard!" Daddy shouted, stabbing the crushed bottle into my abdomen. I cried out in pain, seeing the blood, and he pulled my hair back, ripping it out. "You little asshole! Piece of shit! Nothing but a piece of shit! You don't deserve to live, you deserve to _die! _It's all your fault she's dead! Hear that, fucktard? She paid her life for YOU!" he spat, and I whimpered. _

_He did not listen - just kept stabbing. _

_Suddenly, gravity shifted, and it wasn't my father stabbing me, gutting me out till I bled dry. It was Bella, but her angelic face was brutal with her fury and hatred, "Bella . . ." I called, reaching for her. She held the beer bottle in her hand, eyeing it. Then, with a wicked smile, she smashed it against my head. Burning . . . yes, that's what I felt like. _

_I was burning, and she was smiling the warmest smile I've ever seen her smile. _

"Gah!" I jolted out of the bed, onto the concrete floor. "Ow, what the heck?" I cursed at myself, rubbing my probably bruised hipbone. Then, turning back to the warm, inviting bed that just screamed, _"Come back, come back! Sleep more, sleep more!" _But my newly acquainted alarm clock was nothing but annoying as it rang, alerting me that I had work today. Not that I mind.

Almost three weeks past since I moved into the apartment I rented. While Alice and the rest of my siblings took the effort to beg Carlisle and Esme to take me back, the 'rents were pretty damn adamant about keeping me locked here, where I couldn't infiltrate their minds. Of course, my siblings defied them by sneaking trips to where I lived in the 'poorer' side of Port Angeles. I didn't give a shit, I just wanted to get into a freaking college.

Julliard, while it's pretty awesome and jaw-dropping, isn't the school a pianist wannabe might dream of going. Okay fine, it's stupid to throw away a possibility like that, an opportunity I could only dream of having. But if, for example, I failed a semester and lose my scholarship, where the hell would I end up in? Nothing, that's where. So I decided to look for other universities that was not as good, but good _enough. _And close enough.

Commuting was a pain the ass. If I wanted to get to Forks, it took an hour and a half - the bus that arrived would take roughly thirty minutes to come. If that wasn't enough, the taxis were freaking expensive to pay for. And this wasn't New York; there was no subway I could take. So I ended up taking the bus, and if you've never set foot in one that isn't exactly Greyhound standards, you're sure as hell lucky. The shit that's been ferrying me between the Port and Forks has got all the goods: perverted old people staring at your package - both men _and _women, ugh - a homeless hippie, and the occasional druggie.

Yep. Life couldn't get any better than this.

Since the commutation from Port Angeles to Forks was pretty damn long, my iPod turned out to be the best thing I've ever gotten myself. The downside? There isn't one. I also had to get up way earlier than usual to cook breakfast, do the freaking laundry - I figured not washing your clothes everyday wouldn't kill you - and try the hell not to have a goddamned nervous breakdown.

All in all, this made me have a weird sense of deja vu, like the time when Momma had just passed and my father was as useless as a piece of stick.

I'd also tried out for the University of Delaware. Yeah, fine, I get it. _Aren't you too young? You haven't even started senior year yet! _Seriously? You want me to wait that long? Hell no. I've got better things to do rather than to party it up and live my life as a senior. I don't want to end up doing stuff I don't want to do in the first place. Been there, done that. So, yeah. Better late than never. This was one of the things I learned living by myself.

The shower, no one told me, was stuck on cold throughout. But that was fine by me; I didn't need the high life. This was sort of fine, actually. Other than Delaware, I also tried out at Cornish College of the Arts. They held auditions that I wasn't too sure I nailed. At the beginning I was nervous as shit; my fingers shook and I could barely get the notes right.

But whatever. It's not like it's the end of the world. Yet.

And, if all else fails, there was always community college, right? If I didn't score at least a place there, I wouldn't know what the heck to do. Which was why I felt like such a geek, studying through the summer though I knew it was stupid sounding. I just needed the grades, is all. Alice, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper tried their best to support me, they really did, but the separation took its toll on them. I don't even get to see them at least three times a week.

Not even Bella, which probably explained the dream. For the first time in my life, I experienced what it was like to leave an angel behind. Corny? Whatever. But how else do you explain that irritating, gnawing thing practically scratching at your chest? So annoying you want to rip it off, but just can't 'cause you don't have to power to? I only tried to bear with it. Of course, there was the occasional call every now and then. A flirty text here and there.

I freaking hated it. Freaking hated that we were so distant.

_Masen, just shut up. It's no use to grumble over it like a pansy. _

The bus stop wasn't even sheltered when I stood by it, waiting for the bus. I didn't bother to eat breakfast this morning; Charlotte was pretty cunning in ways to get extra food into my system. She knew I was living all by myself now, and if it wasn't for the Lodge's extras, I'd be a starving, dying man by now. I bet Peter's doing it all on purpose, seeing as there was way more food left than there was last time.

My bosses were freaking awesome. They even added a pay raise for all those who worked in the Lodge.

It's kind of painful when you're in the exact same location, but aren't able to come into contact with the ones you've loved and left behind. Alice was too busy nowadays, probably planning Rosalie and Emmett's wedding. Jasper had this gaming convention going on, and Charlie fell sick, so Bella decided to take care of him. I let her be; it's her dad. I just wished him all his best.

"Hiya, Edward!" Charlotte greeted me as I pushed through the doors. I smiled back and leaned against a table, pulling out my earpiece and stuffing it into my battered bag. Peter came out, as always, and gave me a one-armed hug. "How's it going?"

"Just fine. I'm going to go try the pieces now . . . kinda wanna try something new."

"Another of your mom's compositions?" Charlotte asked with a knowing look. I shook my head. "Nah. There weren't much left for me to play, so I decided to make new ones. Uh, I guess I'll get going. The regulars are coming in." Then I sauntered off as Pete and Char start bustling around, already putting on their best 'Hi-Welcome-To-The-Lodge!' smile.

Opening the brand-new Steinway piano they'd gotten was something to be done with care. I felt like I was handling a baby, but jeez. Give me some credit. It could've been that way. I still remember how psyched I was to find out they were actually getting a new one, and that they were giving me the unwanted one. By my standards, that was more than okay. I was now the proud owner of a Bosendorfer piano.

I started trying out the new scores I made, and damn, I think I did pretty well.

And then I let out all I had been feeling in the past three weeks; how fast it passed by, like collages of a video, how little I got to speak to my own girlfriend, my siblings, the coming of the freaking disownment I was _not _looking forward to. All these I wrote in the song; miserable but oddly fascinating. I felt a presence behind me, but I chose to ignore it. Whoever it was could wait.

"You planning on killing someone?" Demetri chuckled from behind my back. "Shut up, asshole. Let me get my head together." I snapped back, already in a foul mood. I didn't give a damn about him - and this scared the hell out of me. If I didn't watch myself, I'd become like what I was back in the dark days. The moronic, heartless bastard that still lived in me. I promised myself I wouldn't go back, and I'm planning on keeping tabs on it.

Because if I broke that vow, I'd be a doomed man.

"Sorry, sorry. I'll just, yeah, I'll just go to the kitchen or something." Dem moved off, and I whirled around. "Yo, Dem, dude. Sorry, really. I'm just a little tired. Don't take it to the heart." He nodded, but still walked off. I mentally slapped myself, turning back to the piano. _You asswipe! Now look what you've done! You better make it up to him one way or the other, Masen! _

Hi all-mighty, inner voice. Will you please go away now?

I continued playing, switching to Bella's lullaby. I knew it would calm me some, since she was the only thing that kept me from breaking this instant. All I needed was a memory with her - any memory - and I'd be back to the smug idiot I am. Someone stood behind my back again, and I assumed that it was Demetri.

"Hey."

My body nearly fell out of the bench when I heard Bella's sweet, sweet voice whisper from behind me. I turned around so fast everything was a blur until I managed to see her face. She was smiling so wide it nearly reached her ears, okay, well, not really. But you get the sentiment. Her brown orbs were like a torchlight - so bright it hurt to stare into it deeply. "Baby?" My own voice sounded so weird. And awkward.

She opened her arms and pouted. Adorable. "You're not going to hug me? I spend three weeks away from you, and I don't even get a hug? Aw, I'm hurt, Edward, I really am." She laughed, and it was my personal musical. _  
><em>

_God, Masen, you're such a wimp! Get over there and hug her already! _The voice was right. I should hug her. So I leaned forward and pulled her in so tight she was curled against my chest. I buried my face into her hair and inhaled her delicious strawberry shampoo scent that could only come from Bella.

And I was home.

"I missed you," she kissed the side of my neck. I retaliated by kissing the top of her head. "Well, I'm here now, aren't I? Where have you been for the past three weeks? This would be a first." Stroking her head, I wanted so bad to just keep kissing her. But not now. I wanted to take into mind this memory. Who knows when I might get a chance like this again.

Bella sighed. "Out with your brothers and sisters. Helping Dad out with Brandon. You'll be surprised, Edward. I've managed to get him to start working again!" I smiled, hearing the slight cheer in her voice. Recently, her stupid piece of junk truck stopped working, which made it difficult for Bella to move to and fro Port Angeles. Charlie was more or less busy with his job, so she had to take Brandon apart and rebuild the entire thing. I bet she'd gotten the engine running already.

"Sweet. When can I see it?"

"Oh, soon e-" her sentence got interrupted by a loud booming, "Bellsy! Yoohoo, my lil' sister from another mother! Where you at?" Emmett called out, bursting through the door. His sky-blue eyes got wide when he saw me - and I smiled back sheepishly. "Hey Em-"

And that's how I got tackled by a bear-sized brother. End of story.

He pulled away, "When did you get in? Rosie's just outside with Jazz and Al. Want me to get them in here?" I nodded eagerly, "Hell yeah! Bring them in!" Bella laughed and I leaned down to give her a quick peck, 'cause I was just too excited. Wouldn't you be? Almost eleven whole freaking days without seeing your goddamned brothers and sisters whom you've grown so damn close to, of _course _you'd want to see them. Simple logic.

Emmett ran off, and then came back with Alice riding on his shoulder. "Edward! Jesus holy Christ on a fish-stick! Edward!" She lunged at me, and Bella moved expertly out of the way. "You came back!" She continued cheering, and I had to laugh into her spiky hair. Al was like a ball of energy when she hugged me. I couldn't keep out of the way when she's excited. She'll just keep on barreling into me. But hey, that's Alice for you.

Jasper came in to give me an one-armed hug. Rose's hug could've squished a whale for all I knew. My ribs were probably cracked by the end of the hugging routine. My baby was tucked under my arm, and I was just so damned relieved to be in the middle of my family again. The long, long days that passed without seeing them was excruciatingly hard, though I knew that, once we got to college, it might actually be more permanent.

"Damn, Ed, I never thought I'd say this but, I've missed you." Emmett clapped my shoulder, hard, and I punched his. "Miss you too. How have you guys been? What're all of you doing here?" I asked, looking down at my girlfriend's blissful, satisfied face.

"We wanted to go into town for a couple of reasons. Alice here thinks it's a better idea for Rose and Em to get married by the beach, so we decided to look out for possible destinations at the local cafeteria. You know the one - it's where you brought me before. And I gotta admit, I still hate frappucinos." she laughed at my stunned face.

I raised a confused brow. "How the heck can you hate it? It's legendary-"

From the kitchen, Char's voice rang out, "Edward! Someone's here to see you!" There was urgency in her voice, something I couldn't really pinpoint. Excitement, almost, but like a disbelieving thing . . . I couldn't really tell, what with the noise of the diner regulars pouring in. Pretty soon I'd have to start playing for their entertainment. "I'm coming!" I yelled back, and glanced at my family. Leaning down, I kissed Bella once more and walked off to the kitchen.

Those overprotective, too kind for their own good people just followed behind me, Bella's hand on the small of my back.

And then I saw two men in suits; men I didn't even know who. "Uh, why're there-" I got broken off by the first dude, deep voice and mysterious shades and all, "We're here to ask you a simple question, sir. Are you or are you not Elizabeth Masen's heir?" I flinched back, and Bella's hand clenched around my t-shirt. I gulped, but didn't even make a sound to answer.

Should I say yes? No? Jesus, voice, where the hell are you when I need the stupid advice?

_Don't, Masen. You tell the truth, your father gets in it for life. _I silently thanked the voice, pleased that my conscience arrived right on time. "Um, can I ask why, sir?"

The man took off his shades. "Because we're representatives of the FBI, and we need to clarify one point. There are quite a few main leads right now leading to Eddie Masen's whereabouts. Sir, you've been cited as one of the leads." My heart, as silly as it might sound, started to beat like galloping horses, which only made me sweat more. Bella wrapped her arms around one of mine, peeking from behind me at the men in front.

Dude-With-The-Deep-Voice looked down, and I caught his mouth going slack. I hardened my resolve, pushing Bella behind me, unwilling to let this asshole eye up my girlfriend. He was just another idiot with a suit. Sure he probably had a black belt. And he could technically kick my ass and dig up any other crazy information about me - that is, _if _they haven't already done so. Shit. What were all my records in the past eleven years?

I was so freaking tensed I didn't even know he was waiting for an answer. Charlotte took one look at me, then sighed quietly. "Sorry, sir. But you've got the wrong person. Edward here has been adopted all these time."

"He doesn't even have a record, ma'am. From seven and all the way back, the only few things about him is that he was living exactly in the same state Eddie Masen lived in."

"So were my parents then." I cleared my throat, desperate to get them the shit out of here. Their faces were freaking me out, like anytime soon they'd figure out _I'm_ the one they're looking for. Yeah, you're probably thinking it'll be the best for everyone if I just admit it, but there is not way in hell I'm going to put my _real _father into more risks by exposing the truth. I wouldn't appreciate that much. No. I _know _Daddy can still change into the father I knew him to be.

That's the only thing I wanted and needed now.

Eventually, the FBI assholes left, promising they'd return with more questions. I didn't care though. I would never tell them. It's to protect Daddy as well as Momma. I'm never going to left anyone know what happened to me. It's the least I can do for my family. It's probably sick, stupid or whatever you might want to call it, but _family is still family. _

"Take a day off," Peter suddenly said. I turned to look at him. "What?"

"I said, take the damn day off." Charlotte rushed to touch Peter's already clenched hands, but he was on a roll. "First Julliard, now the stupid FBI. Really, Edward, what next? The president? Take the day off and start thinking about the things you're about to foolishly throw away. I'm in no place to say this but you need to start thinking about your future. This isn't about you anymore. It's about all of us. Go home and get your head together, and when you're ready to confess-"

Right there and then something in me just snapped, making me into someone I'm not. I exploded, "I'm not going to confess, okay? I'm _never _going to! Stop assuming that I'm going to one day get my head together and think, 'Oh! I've been such a retarded asswipe!' and go ahead to tell the damn cops that I'm actually Eddie Masen! Keep dreaming, but I _can't _do that to my father! You guys keep thinking that something's wrong with him, that just because I ran away he's already the bad guy-"

"But isn't that the truth? He _is _the bad guy! He abused you, Edward!" Alice cut in. Peter and Charlotte gasped - they still hadn't known about that. I pulled back the force to yell at her, but I could only manage so little. "So? I knew him way before he became like that! You don't know him - I did. He was . . . he is my father, Alice. I'm not going to let him be eaten by the sharks! And please, you're one to talk!"

Her eyes were brimming with tears, but everything, _everything _that I've felt in the past days I didn't see them, just burst out of me like a broken water pipe. "You think I don't know that you and Bella and all the others are hiding something from me? You think I'm that dumb? Well, I'm not, okay? I can see as clear as shit that you don't even trust me enough to tell what the hell you're doing! And that's not even the worst part! You talk about trust, but you don't even trust me to tell me that secret. What's the point of having a so-called family if there's no faith?

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm done with people judging me!"

Rushing out of the kitchen felt like I was running away from my life. I just kept running. Straight through the roads, into the forest, passed several trees. I kept on running until my legs grew tired, till there was no more light and it was all dark.

That night was the first night I felt so goddamned alone despite the many proclamations of people caring for me. No one understands me.

No one. Not even myself.

BPOV

My eyes were hurting the next day from all the crying. I've never seen Edward act like that. Ever. And seeing him so broken, so angry, so frustrated and stressed he wasn't even himself anymore, made me feel like the weakest girlfriend of all time. I talked about protecting him, vowed even, but look at what happened. What I've done has just made Edward's position on the edge of his cliff only more precarious.

"This is all my fault," Alice croaked from beside me. Immediately, everyone got up from the couch in my living room to reach out and comfort her. "No, sweetheart. It's all of our fault, not just yours. Ssh, ssh. Don't cry." Jasper rubbed her back, but she was still miserable. I don't think she could cry anymore.

But I could. "I'm so sorry guys. I never thought . . . I never realized Edward would feel that way about us hiding from him. Last night was just, I don't even know. Seeing Edward like that . . ." That's where I broke off to resume my sobbing. I couldn't take it, seeing the flash of pain - how it made Edward look like he was burning - through those emeralds of him. It haunted me, creating a fault line in my heart that rippled with such baking hurt.

I needed to see my Edward. But he was nowhere to be found. Charlie issued a search party to comb through the forests, but even though I knew it in my gut that he would never really venture that far, I still feared for him. So there was fresh fright to fan the flames of the worry.

Someone rapped on the door - three fast knocks that sounded urgent. I bounced up and ran to it, hoping against all hope that it was my dad with good news. When I pulled it open, when I smelt the familiar cologne that I could detect anywhere, my heart sped up its beats and I looked up into my boyfriend's gleaming, tired eyes that were filled with so much regret and sadness.

"Edward," I whispered, and pulled him down.

He was quiet, never really sobbing, but I could feel the wetness. He buried his face in between my shoulder and collarbone, marking a wet spot on my shirt that was actually his. All was quiet, and because of his weight, we crashed into the ground with me wrapping my and arms around him, cradling him like a baby as he cried into me. "I'm sorry," were the words he repeated.

There was so many tears shed, but eventually the others got restless in the living room. They came to find me, allowing me to hear their footsteps sounding through the corridor, freezing as they saw who was here. Yet Edward never looked up - he couldn't. "Edward . . ." Rose came over to touch his bronze hair, quivering from his soft whimpers.

"I'm sorry." he looked up, and he was burning man once more. My heart tore against itself, ripping away from whatever string that held it to my heart. The pain in his eyes were too much that I couldn't bear it. I've never seen the force of such pain, never felt how it really was to cry out of pure, uncensored misery. The type that held the possibility that could destroy you.

His siblings were forgiving people - they whispered their apologies as Edward did the same. Everyone was crying, no one was spared. Not even Emmett, who was usually the happy-go-lucky one.

And I wanted so bad to make it right for all of us. So that I could see him smile, see _all _of us smile.

Tracking Siobhan Sheeran has never been so challenging. But the main reason why I was going with Alice to search for flights was because Siobhan was last seen back in Illinois, and that was where I would be headed. I needed her to show me something, anything, that could prove to Carlisle and Esme that Edward was indeed abused.

But how can I leave Edward behind when he needed me so much? Especially now, when all of the separation has taken its toll on us?

In the evening, when he'd calmed down and Alice and the others were gone, I asked, "You want to talk? Don't be afraid, Edward." He kissed my shoulder, bringing me closer to him. Then he sighed and buried his head into the crook of my neck. "I don't know what came over me. I've got no excuse for such a behavior."

"You do, though. I bet you're stressed, tired, lonely . . . I know you think I don't understand, but Edward, I do. I want you to have your closure as much as I've had mine . . . and I swear, Edward, I _will _make things right. Smile for me, okay? Never lose hope, because I'll be your personal cheerleader. Plus you know how I get when I drink latte - all hyper and filled with wise words." I tried to make my tone as light as possible, to keep back the sadness I could see gathering in the depths of those green eyes.

A miracle happened; he laughed for what felt like the first time in years. "Yeah, you're pretty much the only one whose ever really understood me . . . I'm sorry, though. If I'm not being a good man to you-"

"Don't say that!" I gasped, turning so that I could grasp his face in my hands, "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, you are an exceptional person! I don't deserve you! Because of what you did for me, all of your sacrifices, I know who I am now. And I'm willing to do the same for you. Edward . . . remember Siobhan Sheeran?"

He furrowed his eyebrows, keeping his arms locked around me. "No . . . not really. Who is she?"

"She's your neighbor back when you were still young. Does it ring any bells?"

Edward's mouth pursed in understanding. "What does she got to do with your big secret.?" I bit my lip, and then kissed his cheek, making sure he was calm before I sprung the words on him. "We're looking for her. _I'm _looking for her. Because I need to find any evidence that can convince Carlisle and Esme that you're . . . well, you were abused. I'm sorry Edward, for not telling you earlier. I should've kept in mind that you'd feel hurt."

"All these time . . . you were looking for Aunt Sio? Jeez . . . I thought . . . I thought it might've been way bigger than - wait. Evidence?" he looked genuinely confused, but it was a better reaction than what I normally expected from him. My heart nearly sagged in relief. "Um, yep. If we could call off the disownment, I bet you'd be more than happy. Because you love them, Edward. You love Carlisle and Esme. I _know _it."

The judgement of being right was high in the air when he nodded reluctantly. "Don't pine your hopes on it, love," he tightened his arms around my waist and leaned his forehead against mine, "because there's a possibility it might not work."

I snapped, "Well, watch me. I'm going to stop the disownment, get you back to your usual self, and then you're going to be kissing me like crazy by the end of-"

His lips interrupted my words, swallowing my sentences as I drowned in this mini reunion. Okay, it's not exactly the right time to have a kiss, but I could feel Edward's exultant, hopeful self through his unsaid questions with his lips. Everything was spinning, but then again everything was solid as well. My head swirled with his scent, and in the brief moments that we were still, Edward whispered, "Thank you."

Charlie came back, surprised to see Edward sitting with me on the couch, debating between the _Princess Bride _and _Pirates of the Caribbean. _Fine, say what you want to say, but at least his mind was clear. "So, what're your plans for uni, son?" Charlie'd asked Edward when we were seated down, enjoying pizza. He looked at me, and then down at his plate. "Honestly sir, I don't know. There's still Julliard to reconsider . . . but maybe I'll try something different. Something in New York. Like the Academy of Performing and Creative Arts in Clinton."

"New York? Why New York?"

I looked at Edward, only to see small smile playing on his lips. "Because I believe that everyone deserves a chance to live again."

He turned to me, and everything was suddenly so clear. He wanted to go to Julliard, but the future was just murky. He wasn't sure yet, but given the slight chance and hope that he wouldn't get disowned, Edward would have loved to go there. My phone rang, and I excused myself, giving both the main men in my life a huge smile as they talked about baseball. Hopefully, Charlie will allow Edward to stay the night; there were many things I wanted to talk to him about.

An unknown number lighted my screen, and I pressed the green button. "Hello?"

"Is this Bella Swan?" Hmm. Weird. It was a woman.

"Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

This woman took a deep breath, "My name is Siobhan Sheeran. And I've heard from my daughter Maggie that you are looking for me?"

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: Just a quickie. I created a playlist for CYKAS, and maybe you're probably going to ignore it. But, for those who are interested, I present to you the official playlist. =) Hope you enjoy! =) _**

**_Can You Keep A Secret: The Official Soundtrack  
><em>**

**_Broken Arrow - Pixie Lott  
>New Perspective - Panic! At The Disco<br>Rolling In The Deep (cover) - Linkin Park  
>Turn It Off - Paramore<br>Moments - One Direction (Edward and Bella's theme)  
>Closer To The Edge - 30 Seconds To Mars<br>Details In The Fabric - Jason Mraz ft. James Morrison  
>Teenagers - My Chemical Romance<br>Eyes Open - Taylor Swift  
>I Need To Know - Kris Allen<br>Your Call - Secondhand Serenade  
>Lego house - Ed Sheeran<br>Really Cry - Kelly Clarkson  
>You And Me - Lifehouse<br>Kiss Me Slowly - Parachute  
>Dare To Believe - Boyce Avenue<br>The Best Of You - Foo Fighters  
>Shake It Out - Florence and the Machine<em>**


	30. Judgement Day

_**Author's Note: Seeing as I've lost my voice, I don't think I can shout any longer. =) But still *insert scream-less scream here* 221 reviews? God, I wish I could give every single one of you a hug right now! I swear I do! And this may come without warning and all, but this is the last chapter of CYKAS, before the epilogue =( I know, real sad, huh? Writing CYKAS has really been an awesome experience, and I know it sounds so sudden, but I did warn you that CYKAS was coming to an end, right? =( Oh god, I feel horrible. But before I get all weepy, I'd like to give SUPER MEGA ULTRA GIGANTIC HUGE HULK-SIZED THANK YOUs to flying angel, AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234 (Thank you for seriously reading between the lines. I thought I'd written that part poorly. =/ And, I'm really glad that you liked my music taste! =) I'd like to give you a gigantic cyber hug, because you're one of the original people who read my story from start to end, never failing to leave reviews. God, I'm starting to cry. =') You're an awesome reader, don't ever forget it!), marzu93 (Don't worry, you'll be seeing lots of Bella and Carlisle action later on. =) Thanks for reading!), Anonymous Intrigued, dvickd (Thank you for never failing to keep me in check with my errors. Everytime I read your reviews, I get all inspired to do more. Really. =D), kikichugirl (I hope you don't get mad when I say I'm not getting a beta. Seeing as this is the last chapter, I thought it'd be better if I wait for a new story before getting a beta. Thanks for adding me to your community despite all the horrid typos! =) I seriously appreciate it.), Kristel Masen-Lee (Thank you thank you thank you very much for the lovely compliments. I'm not really as awesome as you think I am. I've got a lot of work to put in before I can call myself a true author. =/ But thanks for all the awesome reviews you keep putting up. And about those stories you're writing? I bet you'll be one seriously good writer. =D), Emoprincess98 (First, I'd like to say a major thank you to you. You've always been there for me since the start of this whole story, and I'm really glad to have someone as inspiring and motivating as you as my backbone to continue writing even though sometimes I lose the will to do so. Don't worry about not leaving reviews; it's totally fine. Besides, I know how difficult it must be for you to juggle all that. Even I have trouble trying to mix in work with school. =) And yes, boys suck. But don't let that get into your head – you're awesome the way you are. =) Thanks for loving Edward the way I wanted him to be loved, through all the tears he shed *unmanly, probably, but I love a man who can do that* and all the freaky typos. Lol, that joke was funny. I'll probably tell it to my friends after I get off the laptop. =) Lastly, I LOVE YOU TOO. =D Enjoy your summer!), and finally, the very, very flattering MeFromMars (I'm technically crying right now because your reviews always, ALWAYS, mean a lot to me. I'm glad you enjoyed reading the previous chapter, because . . . well, I thought no one would. Thank you for being there throughout the whole story. Aw, crap. Now I'm bawling my eyes out. =') So, really, all of my stories are inspired by people like you.)**_

_**I know I practically spammed the author's note, but I'm just really happy right now. Well, I could do without the tears. So kick back those uncomfortable feelings, grab your pillows, and enjoy this second last chapter of Can You Keep A Secret! =)**_

_**~Serene.**_

_**Disclaimer: For the second-final time for this story, Twilight has never belonged to me. And yes, I'm thoroughly upset about that.**_

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><p><span>BPOV<span>

"Crap," I murmured, picking up my dropped cellphone. _Come on, Siobhan, pick up the phone, pick up the phone!_

Things with Siobhan Sheeran had not been going smoothly at all. I thought that she would be easily won over, I mean, Edward used to play with her children didn't he? I just couldn't understand why she was stubborn enough not to come down to Washington, even if it's just for a day, to help stop Carlisle and Esme from making the biggest mistakes of their lives.

Edward wanted nothing to do with her. He said that when it came to the disownment, he was over it. And it killed me, yes, it seriously _burned _me to see that he'd already given up. I spent the last couple of days staying over at Edward's apartment, trying to soothe him as judgement day rolled around. Charlie wasn't too happy, but he knew it would have been the only thing stopping me from breaking into a pile of nervous pieces.

Phone ringing, I played with my boyfriend's messy hair as he napped on my lap. Today was the day he was going to have to face Carlisle and Esme disowning him. July fourteenth.

As he slept, his eyebrows puckered, and I tried to smooth it down. Leave it to Edward to have his dream tainted as well.

I sighed when there was no answer. "Any luck?" Alice asked me from my side. His siblings decided to sleep over last night as well, in full support of their soon-to-be-not brother. I bit my lip and shook my head at her, hearing Rose let out a deep sigh. "God, we've only got like, a few hours to settle this mess . . ."

Rosalie was right. Edward was scheduled to meet up with Carlisle and Esme and their lawyer in the subordinate courts here in the Port, at ten o'clock. Needless to say, it was still early in the morning. I didn't want to wake him up; he needed all the sleep he could get.

After his break down, Edward's been more open about the few days without us. Emmett, being the huge softie he was, all but kept him under his arm throughout the duration we slept over. Jasper had helped him fix the broken shower so Edward didn't have to bathe in cold water all the time.

When Siobhan didn't pick up her phone for the _n_th time, I tried calling her daughter Maggie.

"Hi, Bella!" She and I had gotten a whole lot closer with this spectacle. She wasn't exactly as hyper as Alice was, which made it really easy to get along with her. "Hey, Mag. I know this sounds crazy, but could you maybe tell your mom to pick up the phone?"

She let out a huff. "You mean she hasn't budged on the whole thing yet? Ugh, sometimes I swear I _need _to send her to a psycho ward. Don't worry, I'll call you up when she picks up, so we'll have a conference call. And, uh, how's Edward by the way? He holding up good?" Even from the far distance Maggie was in, I could definitely hear her concern for her old-time friend.

I bit my lip again. "He'd doing good . . . I think. I'm making him sleep it off, though."

Maggie sighed as Alice ran her hand through her spiky hair, a trait learned exclusively from her brother. "Poor Edward . . . I'll try my best to get my mom to contact you. Hang on, I'll try ringing her up now." Maggie Sheeran's voice disappeared for a couple of seconds, and then I heard the one voice I'd been looking out for. "Maggie, I told you no!"

The others probably saw how alert I suddenly grew, and they crowded around me. I shifted Edward's head carefully so that he laid down on a pillow instead of my lap. Then I cleared my throat, "Mrs. Sheeran? It's Bella here-"

"What is it do you want, Bella?" Her voice was impatient, and I felt my own thread of calm slipping past my fingers. "Please, I know it sounds desperate and probably too late, but if you just show Edward's adoptive parents _anything _that proves he really was a Masen, it would literally save his life." _  
><em>

"I'm sorry, Ms. Swan, but there is nothing I can do. If I simply tell that to them, they will think it's another story; lies, if I may assume for them. I have no pictures," at this, I heard an undercurrent to her words, and filed that information away for later, "no clear evidence . . . that may help prove Edward was a troubled child. I said it before and I shall say it once more: there is nothing I can do for him, and as much as I would like to help that boy, I am certain I'll only destroy him."

"But he needs you!" I cried desperately. "Edward needs you! He's been your daughter's childhood friend for quite sometime. Surely you can help us with something, _anything. _Please. _Please. _You don't know the hell Edward's been through. We told you the story, so why won't you believe us?"

Things were getting out of hand. Everything I've tried persuading Siobhan Sheeran with was failing. And as I wiped away the fresh tears in my eyes for the impending doom that surrounded my boyfriend, I couldn't help but lash out, "You're lying aren't you. You _know _something. Seen it, even."

"What in the name of-"

I cut her off. "Don't you deny it. You're hiding something, Mrs. Sheeran. And if it's got something to do with Edward, you need to tell us now. Edward's whole life is literally on the line for this. If Carlisle and Esme Cullen don't see that what we've been telling them is true, Edward will just go into a big depression he can't come out of. Trust me, I _know _him. He'll keep eating at himself until there's nothing but the rotten shell of angst that he tries so hard to overcome. All his dreams, all his goals, are at bay for this _one _crazy, unjustified summons. Do you really want to contribute to the destruction of that?"

On the other line, Siobhan was quiet. I knew it was stupid of me to do so, stupid of me reprimand an older woman who knew so much more than I did, but the clock was ticking. Edward's inner time-bomb was about to explode. Maggie, who had been quiet all along, whispered, "Mom, Bella's right. You have to help Edward. Mrs. Masen would have wanted you to. _I _want you to."

"It's not that easy . . ." Siobhan's voice was weak, and I knew then that I had gotten to her. I met Rosalie's scared eyes, and smiled mutely at her. "How's that not easy, Mom? Edward's whole life wasn't easy! Look at what's happened after Mrs. Masen died! The FBI, Mr. Masen getting sent to prison . . . Edward's been alone all his life, and when he finally found his true family, he has to get ripped off by them. Mom, you _need _to help him. For me. Do it for me, Mom. Please."

The bond between a mother and child was suddenly so much clearer to me then, and I struggled not to let any tears fall. My bottom lip was getting scarred from all the biting I was doing, but I didn't really care. I waited, heart thumping in anxiety, for Siobhan Sheeran's final 'no.'

And then the line went dead.

Disbelievingly, I dropped my phone with my wide eyes staring after it in shock. "What, what?" Em asked worriedly. I looked at him painfully, feeling the harsh cruelty for Edward. "She hanged up, Em."

We were all quiet for awhile, absorbing this whole new impact of pain. All of our efforts . . . all the amount of time we spent blowing up our phone-bills to find that woman, was all gone. All of our labor to help save Edward from destroying himself was gone. Just like that. _Gone. _

I wanted to start bawling like a baby, but that wasn't going to do any harm. Instead, from the bed, muffled by the blankets and pillows, Edward mumbled, "Bella?" I shot straight up to my feet, shooting Alice and the others a look to pull ourselves together one last time for him. Edward didn't like seeing us all in pain. He'd only find a way to blame himself for it.

That was something I did _not _want my boyfriend to think of. Ever. He's already gotten hurt so badly . . . "Yeah, Edward? I'm here." I huddled closer to him so that I could smooth his messy bronze hair that glinted through the light that flowed through his singular window. His green emeralds were still a little droopy, but he smiled a dopey grin. "'Morning."

"Good morning," I kissed his cheek, and felt his lips brush against my temple. Then he sat up and looked around for his siblings, smiling when he saw us all there. My heart constricted, and so did my stomach, as I watch him smile cheerfully at them. I could see through his mask of fake happiness though; the agony was there in his eyes, hidden so well that I wouldn't have seen it if I didn't spend so much time looking into those emeralds.

He chuckled nervously. "Today's the day, huh?"

"Today's the day." Jasper nodded solemnly before getting up and flopping down on the other side of him. "Worried?" He looked at Edward, gauging his emotions. Jazz always had that weird sixth sense, almost like a third-eye, for reading our emotions fluidly. He was right one hundred per cent of the time, which was scary to admit.

Edward held me closer for a second, and then he loosened his grip. "Freaking _anxious._" With those words, everyone in the room launched themselves onto Edward's surprised body. And yes, that included me. It was a gigantic group hug of epic proportions, but Edward only laughed. I grinned at the sound; I barely got to hear it anymore.

We laid there, my body squished by Alice and Edward, as I listened to all our breathing. Edward took a deep breath, and then he stated, "Whatever happens today, I just want you guys to know that there will never be anyone I can love as much as you guys. I've got to thank all of you because you showed me what it's like to be a freaking man, grown up and all that shit. Without you guys, I would've been that asshole I was a couple years back. So, before I lose the nerve, I just wanted to say that I love you."_  
><em>

The tears that all of us girls held fell in that moment, and Alice began sobbing into her brother's shoulder. "Stop being so b-b-brave. Or I'll s-s-smack you." Rose only choked and hugged him tighter. Laughing hysterically but still crying, I couldn't help but feel the ache in my stomach. It twisted around, flipped and flopped here and there until I pulled away.

Oh sweet toilet, how I missed thee.

I puked out whatever late night snack I'd eaten the night before, emptying my stomach of its contents. Edward, being the loving boyfriend that he was, held my hair up and rubbed my back worriedly. I didn't want him to see this, but he ignored my half-attempts of pushing him away.

After brushing my teeth, Edward asked me if I was okay. Giving him a weak smile, I merely nodded. "I'm gonna go make breakfast for you guys. Uh, what do you guys want?" he asked, still giving me a cocked eyebrow. Em nodded enthusiastically, "I call dibs on helping you, man!"

Edward scoffed, "Please, Em, you just want to eat the food first."

"Well, _duh, _Captain Obvious. I'm gonna be there the minute those legendary omelets get off the pan." We all burst out laughing, unable to contain ourselves. Emmett smirked happily with his achieved goal; to break all ice between our little family.

It worked - Jasper followed Em and Edward out to the kitchen, where we could hear them bickering.

But as I watched their backs disappear, the hidden tears started to pour.

EPOV

"Emmett, get your hands off that - _hey!_" I yelled, smacking my brother's hand away from the plate of cheese omelets I'd just fried. Jasper wasn't much of a help, anyway. Look at the guy; everytime I turned my back around, he'd stuffed one freaking slice of it into his mouth. Yeah, I was annoyed, but I had to keep my eyes on Emmett. He could devour the entire thing if I so much as blink.

He only snickered though, and gulped the remains of the coffee I'd made. "You're disgusting," I teased at him.

After packing up breakfast and instructing my siblings to go on ahead and take a shower, I sat against the counter, breathing in what felt like a caged freedom. Bella padded into the room, looking lost, until her brown orbs met mine. She leaned against the stove, and I smiled at her.

"Hey."

"Hey, yourself." she grinned, and I held my arms open for her. Once she was in my arms, I crushed her to my chest, feeling her heart beating steadily underneath my own body. I buried myself in her hair and inhaled her sweet strawberry shampoo scent. Closing my eyes, I tried to remember this moment, to forget my freaking out. "How're you feeling?" she asked me, pulling away so she could see my face.

And that's when I saw it - her usually bright brown eyes red-rimmed and slightly bloodshot. I frowned. "What's wrong, baby? You been crying?" She bit her lip, looking lost again. I sighed and pulled it away. Gently, I kissed her trembling bottom lip, even though it sounds pretty whipped. Emmett would certainly disapprove.

But I'm not Emmett. I'm my own freaking self.

"I just . . . ugh. I know you're hiding all of your feelings, Edward. I see it in your eyes. You like to keep your issues strong. Penny for your thoughts right now?" she bit her lip again. I glanced around, making sure my siblings were nowhere near. Then I sighed. "Shit, I don't know, sweetheart. I feel like crap, that's for sure. Like I'm gonna lose all of you the minute I sign those papers. And I can't let that freaking happen. I probably sound stupid but-"

"You're not stupid. It's nice to know what you're thinking. Wanna know what _I'm _thinking?"

Getting lost in Bella's eyes was technically an easy feat; so easy, it should be illegal. Thank the good lord I was her boyfriend. Whatever jackass that used to be with her was a damn lucky fool. "What?"

"I'm thinking that you're not gonna lose us. Not at all. It's only papers . . . and . . . well, you know Alice. And Emmett. I feel like I've failed you, Edward. I tried, I swear, I really did, and I'm sorry if nothing I do is enough-"

"Whoa, wait," I interrupted her, "you haven't failed me or anything. I'll _never _ask anything from you, Bella. You know that. It's not your fault if no one wants to help me."

She looked so miserable, a tiny ball of shrunken sadness. "But it _is _my fault that I can't persuade Siobhan to help you. After all that you've done for me, I can't even help you with this-" I stopped her in her tracks with a chaste kiss. Yeah, it's rude, but I needed to let her know that nothing's going to change. I'm still Edward Masen, resident asshole who got disowned by his adoptive parents.

"Enough, okay? If you're so up to making up to me . . . then make it up to me by just being here for me, okay? I don't need anything else. Just you." Then I gave her the smile she liked best, and she grinned timidly back. "Okay, boss. I love you," she reminded me, staring deeply into my eyes, and suddenly I'm like a squirming worm. "I love you too, Bella. Always."

Alice's shrill voice jolted me. "What about me? You don't love me, is that it? Oh god, Edward! How could you?" I looked up, laughing as Alice teased me. Then she launched herself into my arms, jumping up and down, her hair slightly wet from a shower. "Love you, big brother. Nothing changes. Once we graduate, I'm moving in with you, and nothing's going to stop me!"

From the front, Rosalie chimed in, "Guys, that is _so _unfair! Leaving me out of hugs? What are you, sadists? Little bunch of retards . . . get over here!" My tenacious sister rushed over to envelop us in a death-defying hug. Bella's laugh vibrated against my chest, mirrored by my sisters. And then Jasper appeared out of visually nowhere, stating, "Christ, Edward, if you were having a foursome, you could have invited me." _  
><em>

Bella scrunched up her nose in disgust. "Ew, Jazz. Not cool."

"That's 'cause you have a very innocent mind, Bella." He winked at me, and I looked at him weirdly. Uh . . . what? Okay, awkward. "Shut up and come here, Jazz, I know you wanna be hugged too." Alice said from under my left arm. He grinned in his typical, lazy-ass fashion and strolled over, before dashing when he heard Emmett's booming voice yell, "_Family hug time!" _

And that's how I came to realize that family's family no matter what. Past or present, these guys were the ones who helped me find my way back. And I'd do any damn thing for them. Any-freaking-thing just to keep them happy, _make _them happy or whatever shit.

The drive to the subordinate courts was pretty quiet; there wasn't enough drive to make us talk. Bella clutched at my hand, squeezing it whenever she felt me tense up. It's not that I haven't accept the fact that I'm not going to be part of the Cullen clan anymore, it's the fact that I'll be seeing Carlisle and Esme, and know that I've disappointed them somehow. That was the part I couldn't live with.

I was wearing what Al wouldn't call a 'suitable' suit. Something really informal. I tugged at the hoodie I was wearing, frowning because it felt like I was getting suffocated or something. Surprisingly, the subordinate courts weren't the dark, evil, run-down building I always thought it'd be. Not that I had any references to compare it with.

Everything felt so freaking weird, looking up at the somewhat small but classy building that had the prints 'Port Angeles Subordinate Courts.' My heart was hyperactive with the anxiety. _Ah, for god's sake Masen. Man up, will you? _I don't think I've ever been so freaking _glad _to hear my subconscious eating at me. It's probably the only thing my brain can process right now.

Bella hugged me tightly to her, kissing my cheek, then she let go of me. I turned to see where she was looking at, then smacked myself in the head. Literally.

Striding in all his glory was Carlisle, his strict eyes fierce and oddly confused. _He's worried, _the puny voice inside of me stated. _Damn right, he should, _my subconscious sneered at the man. I squeezed Bella's hand, then stood straighter to greet him. "Hello, Carlisle." I greeted frostily. The midget voice scolded me, while my subconscious punched the air with his fists dramatically.

"Good morning." he nodded to us all, eyes resting for awhile on me. Suddenly, I saw something flicker across his face - was it _compassion? _Carlisle Cullen? Nah, it's just the lighting. "Are all of you ready? My lawyer awaits our presence." The shrill ringing of a cellphone interrupted whatever he was about to say next, and I looked down to see Bella fumbling with her cell. "Sorry," she blushed, "but I need to take this one." I leaned to to kiss her briefly on the lips, before watching her walk away, phone to her ear.

Esme walked up to us then, hugging everyone. But me. Yeah, whatever. "Are we ready? Where's Bella, dears?" she asked us, and I pointed at where my girl stood, shoulders tensed. I wonder who's calling her. Maybe it's Charlie, and he's down with something again. Or maybe it's her mom, Leah . . . whoever it was got her so riled up.

Just as I was about to walk up to her, she turned to face us, motioning that we should go on first. I frowned, feeling kind of empty without her. I sounded like a needy little boy, but I couldn't just walk into that building without her with me. I seriously _needed _her. Bella took one look at my expression, said a couple of words, and then snapped her phone shut.

She walked towards me, did an impersonation of an iceberg for my adoptive parents, and nudged me forward.

_This is it. This is seriously it. _My nerves seemed to be standing up on every single freaking point. I waited till I was the last couple to enter the building, and when I did, the first thing that crashed into my senses was just plain, undiluted fear that just singed through my entire body like fire. Like _that _night.

My subconscious took his time to shake his fist at me. _Oi, what're you doing asswipe? Enough with the damn flashbacks! _The puny voice wasn't even disagreeing with him. Huh. That's a first. Go figure. My girlfriend chafed her hand up and down my arm, clearly feeling the tensed muscles. Heck, I was tensed every-freaking-_where! _

_Calm, calm, act cool Masen. Relax. Get this over with. Then you can go emo at home later on. _I mentally flipped the bird to that annoying voice.

We passed by lots of rooms, and I was pretty confused why it looked more like an office than a court. I was fully expecting juries and judges, but all I got was a couple of empty rooms with conference tables and the occasional computer and television. Guess it isn't as awesome as the name made it sound like.

Carlisle and Esme stopped in front of a door, looking so weirdly calm and cool, like they've been disowning children for years. I clenched my teeth, feeling the rage wash over me as much as the pain threatened to overtake my being. Yeah, I sound stupid. Who the hell cares?

The door opened, and Bella tried her best to calm me down. She knew something was clawing inside of me, but didn't ask. She'd keep her questions to herself. _See, even your girlfriend can keep her cool. So why not you? _

A guy with a huge belly greeted me and my siblings, like he knew who the hell we were in the first place. I sure as heck never saw him the entire time I knew the Cullens. He acted so steely and stuck-up that I wanted so bad to just punch him. His very face annoys the freak outta me. _Chill, asshole. You're making nothing out of, well, nothing. _

The FBI dudes were there as well. And that almost made me shit bricks. _Almost. _I tried not to think too much of their presence, but Bella was struggling to stop her incoming gasp. Jasper was scowling at them, holding Al protectively against his side. "Uh, why the hell are you guys here?" I asked crudely. What? You can't help a guy from being vulgar when he's nervous.

"We're here to witness the signing of sheets, sir." And then they shut up. I decided to let it go. They're sitting at the very back, anyway. It's not like I'm going to reveal anything about Daddy.

"Mr. Edward, pleasure to meet you," the beer-bellied asswipe stuck his hand out. "And you are . . . ?" I shook it, despite the fact that he was eyeing up my girlfriend in front of me. That retard. "Mr. Jenks, sir. The Cullen family's lawyer." Damn, he made it sound like I was already an outcast. Bella clutched at my hand desperately, feeling his scrutinizing gaze on her.

So I snapped, "And I would appreciate it very much if you kept your eyes off my girlfriend, sir." His eyes narrowed at me, and I thought I heard him mutter, "Insolent bastard."

I was floored. _Bastard. _Just like what Daddy had once called me. "Hey, I heard that!" Rosalie pointed at the guy, eyes wide with fury. "How dare you call him that? You have absolutely no right to! You think you're so awesome, so freaking high on your pedestal that you can-"

"Rose . . . that's enough," Esme chided, looking embarrassed. "No, it's never freaking enough! How the hell can you judge someone before you even know the story behind him? It's inconsiderate; it's rude, and above all, it's freaking demeaning to the person!" Emmett jumped in to save his fiance. Yeah, Rosalie decided to take him back, mostly because she loved him, and he loved her.

Em's kind of lost right now though. He's still wondering if he should join the Army. But I'm not going to stop him if he does want to. Once his mind is made up, all I can do is to support that goofy brother of mine. No matter what, he's still my brother, and he'll need someone scratching his back for him.

Then that jackass looked straight into Esme's eyes and spat, "And I asked Rosalie to marry me. She said yes. We're going to get married." There was a collective gasp coming from her, and I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Emmett to just spill it out there in the open. "B-but . . . you can't . . . so _young-_" Alice halted Esme, her eyebrow raised just like how I'd once taught her.

"And that didn't stop you from marrying Dad just out of high school." she looked straight at Carlisle, whose face was closed off to the whole world, because he was looking at me and only me. Like he was waiting for me to say something. But too bad - I ain't giving him the satisfaction of-

"Let's just stop here for awhile and move on to more pressing matters, yes?" Mr. Jenks reminded us all gently, before Esme and Alice could have a screaming match. "Alright, Mr. Edward, here are the papers. I understand you have no lawyer with you today, therefore should you have any questions, I am available." We sat down around the table facing the old TV that the room had, and I looked through the papers.

Then I sighed and picked up the pen he'd passed me. "Edward . . ." Alice now had tears in her eyes, and I was struggling so hard not to break down in front of her. Of them. _No, no, no. Just sign, Edward. Then get the hell out of here, move on and be who you are. You chose this. You always knew it'll end this way. You didn't dare to believe, and now look at where you are. You always dreamed of being someone better than your dad, but now . . ._

But now I could say things to Carlisle and Esme, things I've always wanted to say before this shit happened. I looked up, hand pausing over the line that I had to sign on. Putting down it down, I took a deep breath and stared straight into Carlisle's eyes. For once, I wasn't intimidated by him. With all the craziness that happened, I felt like somehow I knew his pain. _  
><em>

I exhaled, and then said, "Before I sign, I'd just like to say thank you. To both you and Esme. Before the both of you . . . I was a messed up son of a bitch. And I do mean that. The both of you are literally my saving grace. You adopted me even though I wasn't, well, even though you barely knew a thing about me. Even now, when you're setting me free, I know that you are my true parents

"Everything I am now, not then, I owe it to the both of you. And if it weren't for you guys disowning me . . . I'd probably be so screwed up. This whole thing made me open my eyes, made me really think about what I want in life. See, it hasn't always been easy for me," I gulped, not wanting to reveal anything because of the FBI sitting just behind me, "so I struggled for a little, okay, maybe a lot, but you guys manage to kick me awake. Thank you. Really. And I mean it. 'Sides, we can all be friends, right?" I grinned at Emmett, at Rose, Alice, Jasper . . . my family.

Smiling for what felt like a really long time, I penned my name onto one of the many sheets of papers. I didn't want to meet Carlisle or Esme's face, but I could hear Esme's shocked cries.

Then Bella jolted, her hand coming out of my grasp to touch her phone, which had started ringing again. I looked over at her to make sure she's doing fine, and her eyes were bright, excited . . . relieved? What heck? She stood up, and I frowned, "Bella, baby? What's wrong?" She looked down at her phone but didn't answer my question.

Instead, she struggled with the cables of the TV, before Jasper came to help her. She smiled at him like he'd just saved her life. I was starting to get really worried. What's going on? "Before Carlisle signs, I'd like to give you the evidence you were looking for." I turned to Carlisle, who looked as astounded as I was. "Edward was, indeed, abused by his father. And I can prove it to you."

A collective gasp rang throughout the room; mine included. I looked at the FBI guys, and their faces gave nothing away, like they knew Bella was going to drop this freaking bombshell in the first place.

Bella smiled apologetically at me, to see if it was okay by me. I didn't know whether to kiss her like crazy, or to be angry. So I just blinked at her, letting go of her hand and folding my arms across my chest.

Her face fell, but she looked damned determined. On the TV was a video, something that looked kind of old fashion. The camera was facing out of a window, peering into a house . . . _my _house. Holy freaking shit. It's the Masen Manor back in its full glory, staring straight through the living room window, which was opened.

Clear as day, dark as night, I could see a dirty, skinny like shit little boy playing with a couple of spoiled toy cars. He's facing the direction of the camera, though he doesn't even know he's being filmed. In the background, I could hear Aunt Sio scolding Maggie for playing with her camera. _"Do you know how much this costs, Maggie Sheeran?" _She's seething with rage, and my guess was that she'd placed her still rolling camera on the window unknowingly.

I closed my eyes, relishing in the memory captured perfectly by the camera; it was the last night I ever saw Daddy. The one where he left me battered and broken, so much that I became the spitting image of his disgusting self. Aunt Sio and Maggie headed upstairs, with my previous neighbor scolding the shit out of her.

But I was transfixed by the little boy, by my little self. You could see the boy tense up, his weird, crazy green eyes suddenly filled with fear. _"Oi, Eddie!" _Daddy shouted, and I could vaguely hear it.

That was when I hurled myself out of the room.

BPOV

Edward running away was something I didn't expect to happen, but I was so transfixed by the video, I couldn't bring myself to follow after him. One of the FBI did, though, while everyone else had their eyes glued to the screen. I didn't know what was going to happen, but my gut was ripping away at the seams. No matter what the video was going to reveal, I was sure to detest it.

Carlisle and Esme both leaned in as a drunk man staggered over to the younger version of Edward, all dishevelled and fearful with the ageing eyes incompatible with a child. Edward's side was facing us, and he visibly started to shrink away from the man - his father - and his whole body started to shake.

My heart went out to him, the little boy in the fuzzy video. Edward. My Edward.

Edward Masen Sr. stared past Edward Masen Jr. with inquisitive eyes, probing almost. Then his body seemed to freeze with drunken realization. He said something, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. He continued speaking, and I tried so hard to catch the drift of what he said, but all I could hear was muffled voices.

And then he grabbed little Edward by the tops of his arms, shaking him really hard. _"How the hell did we make such a bloody mistake? We were perfect, your mom and I. We had everything, the whole world even, in our hands. And then she had to have you." _Edward Sr. slapped the poor little boy so hard I could visibly see his cheek rattle, even though the camera was fuzzy.

I gasped, feeling the echo of his pain in the curves of my stomach. Melodramatic, I know, but every painful thing that happened to Edward then reflected off me like a mirrored image. I clutched desperately at my torso, feeling it twist so sickeningly. _"And everything went wrong!" _The father continued, punching him.

My Edward kept quiet, his eyes distant and looking over the shoulder of the man who he called 'Daddy.' The hideous monster I refused to call man grabbed an encyclopedia, using that as a weapon of sheer force. _"You," _he spat with such vehemence, such hatred, that I found myself thinking that this little boy was just that - a tiny, harmless boy who looked dehydrated, underweight, and severely unkempt.

_"Bastard. Retard. Dumb-ass." _Edward Sr. cursed at him, and my heart pounded with sympathy. My eyes, of their own accord, started tearing up. The tears fell down my cheeks, streaming steadily, but I never took my eyes off the screen. This was part of Edward hideous past. I could hear the sniffles of Alice and Rosalie, the horrified gasps of Em and Jazz, the stillness of Carlisle and Esme.

What would change? What would not?

Edward Sr. reached for something else, and, squinting, I gasped the loudest gasp I'd ever had. It was an empty beer bottle. Alice cried out, "Oh god, no," and buried herself in Jasper's arms. Emmett held Rosalie in his arms, comforting and hiding his own confusing tears. This was the one time I turned away from the screen, unable to take in anymore. My stomach curled around in itself, and I forced back the bile rising in my throat.

My poor, poor boyfriend. He had to go through of . . . _that. _

I briefly heard the smashing of the beer bottle against Edward's head, and that was all I could take. The sobs escaped me, my heart crushing for the poor boy undergoing such dark torments. To think that he could smile to this day, laugh even. That he had the strength to open up and be himself, despite of his past.

To think that he could love me after all of that. I looked back to the screen, thinking it was over, but it wasn't. Not even close.

Edward's father started thrusting the broken bottle onto his stomach. Edward started to scream in sheer agony - the cry for help, the screaming of a lost child needing love. Fear was etched so deeply in his childish, young voice. Much closer now, I could hear Siobhan comforting her daughter. _"It's okay, Maggie. I'm sure you're just hearing voices." __  
><em>

_"It's not, Mom. I can hear screaming,"_ the little girl's voice is worried.

I watched Edward trying fruitlessly to shove his father's insistent thrusting of the bottle at him. It wasn't doing him any good, and the crushing grief enveloped me again. How . . . _how _can he endure such a thing like that? Edward was stronger than I gave him credit for. He was stronger than any of us here.

After what felt like an eternity, Edward Sr. stopped. He was panting heavily, like he'd just come back from a long run. I wanted to scream at him, to throw something at the horrible, horrible man. But I was rendered useless. There was nothing I could do but watch as Edward stared helplessly, almost deathlike, at his biological father.

He carried him out of the house, towards his backyard, which extended into an impending dark forest. The night was so still, the light from the room the camera was placed in briefly illuminating both father and son. Neither seemed to notice. Suddenly, Edward Sr. flung his son out, all battered and broken beyond any help. _"Get lost, little bastard. Let's see you run like the coward you are." _the man hissed.

Edward was quiet for awhile, and when his father cackled menacingly like a demented man, he touched his pocket.

What pained me was the sight of little Edward crawling, literally _crawling _like an animal, away from the man. He dragged himself by his arms. Despite the sweat and grime, the blood and the gore, Edward's face was determined to get away from the man. His eyes were so focused, like nothing I've ever seen. My sobs halted, watching as the little boy saved himself.

_"That's odd," _Siobhan's voice was so close to the camera, and it was lifted from the edge of the window. _"I forgot to switch off the recording. Oh, look, there's Mr. Masen, Maggie. Wave to him, sweetie." _she instructed her daughter, who smiled sweetly at the camera as it came to her view. She did as what she was told, and the camera swivelled to the hideous monster of a man. He nodded, smiling sickly, as Siobhan and Maggie said their goodbyes to the camera.

Screen going black, everyone was in deathly silence. I turned to look at Carlisle and Esme. Pale, shivering, Carlisle Cullen looked so unlike himself. I could not believe this was the same man who wanted to disown my boyfriend, the love of my life. Seething from the aftermath of watching the video, I whispered, "Well, Mr. Cullen. All the barriers are done. What will you do now?"

EPOV

I was practically hyperventilating. Yes, I was freaking breathing so hard I couldn't even think of anything else. Inside, the room was quiet. I couldn't even hear a shitty thing. The FBI dude - who I came to know as Joham - sat beside me. I took a loud gulp of the frappucino I'd been forced to buy. Just so I wouldn't freak.

When I'd run out, Joham had followed me, thinking I'd prefer some company. He's wrong though. He's annoying and freaky as shit - I didn't want to have anything to do with him. But he claimed he just wanted to know why I'd been hiding away from all of this. How I managed to hide from the FBI, the police . . . all those people who were looking for me.

All I could do was shrug.

But I was reeling. God, I'd never felt so damn freaked out my whole life. My hands were freaking shaking, scaring the hell out of me. Dammit, I was supposed to be able to withstand this! I'd been through worst circumstances! _Yeah, you tell that scared little seven year old, Masen, to go rear his wimpy head somewhere else, _my subconscious cheered me on. For once, I welcomed it.

Taking a deep breath, I stood up. "Ready to go back in, Mr. Cullen?" Joham asked. I nodded minutely. I didn't want to look too compromising. I'm sure as heck Carlisle wouldn't change his mind; that man was as stubborn as Bella could be. I froze, noting the subtle similarities between my adoptive father and my girlfriend.

Holy shit. It's true after all. No wonder they treated each other like they were enemies. They were so damned alike. Both on a one-track mind. Both of them prefers to hurt themselves more than to inflict hurt on others. _And your point is . . . ? _The voice asked me in a snappy tone.

I shook my head, and went in. I felt their eyes on me before I saw it. I turned to Bella; I needed to see if she was going to run screaming away from me. I wouldn't stop her. I was screwed up way more than any normal teenager should be. But, Christ, I needed her so damn much.

Bella threw herself into my arms, and it took me awhile to remember what the hell I was standing here for. I just held her tightly to me, kissing her hair, her cheek, her forehead, her lips, that smooth angle of her neck. She smelled of strawberries, my saving grace. _She _was my saving grace.

_Pussy whipped, _the voice teases.

_Shut up, asshole. It's all freaking true. _"I thought you'd run away." I whispered to her, pulling away so I could see her tear-streaked face. "You been crying? Shit, baby. Don't look at me that way. What's wrong? You want me to let go of you? Bella, baby, say something . . ." Letting go of her small waist, I watched as her face changed from sad to such fierce emotions.

"First, I'd never run away from you. I love you, so, so much. You're everything to me, and I can understand why you hate being called a . . . B-word, so much." I smirked when she looked floored for a second, but she returned to cupping my face and saying determinedly, "I'll never want to let you go, and I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. I just . . . I don't understand why you're standing here with me, so filled, so strong, with so much love for everyone even though you were like _that."_

"It's all in the mind, sweetheart," I laughed, relief washing through me, as I drew her closer to me. "If I dwell too much on the past, I can't see my future. And right now, my future is with you, Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett. You guys are family . . . and . . ." I took a deep breath, "family is family, right?"

Suddenly, I was in my family's hugs. Carlisle and Esme were so still by their place opposite the long table. But I had Al and Rose in my arms, Bella too, as Em and Jazz started rocking us all with so much emotion.

And for the first time in my whole life, I felt so . . . _loved. _

I marvelled in the feeling, feeling everything fade away. This, right here, is the one I'm keeping forever. This is my happy place. "Edward . . . can I speak to you?" Carlisle practically choked. Bella and the others glared at him, but relented. "You don't change your mind, old man, and I'll make sure you feel all the guilt in the world." My girlfriend promised him, and I gently tugged her away.

"C'mon, sweetheart, stop. Chill, okay?" She only nodded, and gestured for everyone else to leave the room. Unsure, her eyes frightened but sadly happy, she closed the door. And it was just me and my adoptive parents, Esme deciding to stay with us.

Awkwardness lined the air of the room, and I fidgeted with my hoodie.

"Why didn't you tell us, Edward? We could have prevented all of this," Carlisle waved his hand around in the air. I winced, but allowed my subconscious to be my voice for once. "Because it wouldn't have changed me; I'd still be who I was before. Broken, unable to speak, a seven year old who didn't know love. If I'd told you, I wouldn't have met Bella. We'd be somewhere else by now, I wouldn't find the love I didn't know I was looking for in all of you. And I do mean _all _of you. I don't care how sissy-ish I sound like right now, all that matters is that I'm keeping my family. And if it means fighting for them, then yes. Al and my siblings mean a lot to me - you don't even know how much."

Esme choked, and she reached for me. "I'm so sorry, Edward. If only I'd known . . . I could have helped you. He was such a monster, he is. I'm so sorry . . . Please, please, don't be mad. I want you back. I want to see more of you. I want you to be my son."

"It's not your fault, Esme. My mom died, my dad went crazy. It's just a stupid thing called life. All that shit about life being beautiful is full of bullcrap, until something like this happens. Because I know that you do love me . . ." I trailed off, questioning it. And my mother for all intents and purposes nods. "I do, I do." I hugged her, "Love you too, Mom," I grinned against her hair, and I felt her sag into my body.

Looking up at Carlisle was the hardest thing to do. Esme sensed the tension, and she let go of me. Tapping her husband once on his chest, her eyes started to tear once more. "Make things right, Carlisle. I know you want to." she kissed him on his cheek, and he winced desolately.

She left the room, looking torn, but eventually shutting the door behind her.

* * *

><p>Carlisle stared into the inquisitive eyes of his son - or was it former son? He could not decide, his decision torn by the death in Edward's eyes. He only knew that it was time for him to speak now, or forever hold his peace. The man's burdened shoulder eased as his decision was made easier.<p>

He finally understood, and the volcanic mess that was his son straightened up. "Edward . . . sit. I'd like to tell you something." Edward was obedient, clearly unquestioning, though he did flinch. Carlisle could no longer bear his heavy heart. "I was abused, too, by my father."

The boy, startled beyond belief, turned to look up at the older man before him. The lightening of his heart indicated that this was only right, that the boy deserved the truth of Carlisle's own past. He took a deep breath, ignoring the stinging memories. "Esme was my friend then, and she was the first out of the rest to recognize my bruises. It was merely bruises, then scars. Eventually, the wounds were too much to bear, and I was forced to confront my fears.

"Imagine a scared seven year old, Edward. I was your age when my father raised his hand at me. He used various items; canes, bottles and knives, even. He would cut into my skin, my stomach and my back. None of it made sense then, but it does now. This is why I work as a doctor, for it was Esme's mother who helped me out of it. She was a doctor as well. Her daughter was so kind, so worried, to tell her mother of what was happening to me.

"He ran away, you know, when the police came barging into the apartment. I never saw him afterwards, never again, and I vowed never to become that man. They sedated me, made me forget that I'd been through those horrendous happenings. I lived with Esme and her mother - her father was away at the Army - and I worked hard to get where I am today.

"But, Edward, it gets difficult. I do not even know if I can love . . . for Esme, I've done all that she wants. She cannot have children, so I adopted you and your siblings. Everything I did was for her, but knowing what happened to you, knowing that your father was the same . . . I . . . I do not . . . I can't . . ."

This was the only time Carlisle Cullen ever grew wordless, which shocked the man himself. He remembered the words his beloved spoke. _Make things right, Carlisle. _He wanted to - he did not know how. His wife showed him how to love, but all he could do was to stare into his son's eyes as he gazed back evenly with no words.

Love. Was he capable?

Carlisle Cullen did not know the answer, but a feeling so strong coursed through him as his son took the documents on the table -the papers of disowning him. In a fit, his heart seized in his chest. He felt pain, pain unequal to anything as his son took hold of a pen. He looked down onto the papers, spreading it out so that Carlisle himself could sign his own.

His eyes pricked in the slightest way. His boy - he'd felt pride before, did he not? For this boy, surely Carlisle could forgo his demons. He wanted to let go, but he could not voice it. Love. _Love. _

Memories of his forgotten childhood went through his mind, and he immediately thought of all those that held death underneath his insanely capable hands. His many patients, coming and going, his father. His mother, abandoning him as a toddler, in pursuit for her dreams.

And as Edward, his . . . _son, _passed him the pen, Carlisle Cullen stared impassively at them. He stood shakily, resolve gathering in the pits of his stomach, giving him strength for what he was about to do. "You may be done with my being your father, Edward," he found himself murmuring, "but I am not done being your being my son."

With shivering hands, his demons seethed and thrashed against their stake. _Disown the boy, disown him! _They shout in fury. But Carlisle does not listen to them for once - he has his own mind now. And he tears through the contracts, every paper, every signed piece, every _un_signed piece. He felt the burdens leaving his bouldered shoulders.

Carlisle Cullen smiled, his inner demons finally banished. He turns to his boy. "You, Edward, are my son. Your father is of importance to you, and I know that I cannot take over his position in your life. For I myself cannot forget my own father. But I vow, Edward, to become the better man, and teach you things _he _never taught me. Thank you - for allowing me to realize who I am."

Edward was stunned to utter disbelief. Carlisle awaits his answer, watching as he gives nothing away in his young face. It is quiet for a prolonged moment, and Carlisle wishes he can understand what his son thinks of him now. "Carlisle . . . no, Dad," Edward tests the name on his tongue, and he smiles when Carlisle relaxes. "I would be honored to learn whatever you can teach me. You've taught me how to grow up. If you didn't tell me that you were gonna disown me . . . I wouldn't be who I am now. So, thanks, Dad."

His heart, despite how abruptly light-hearted it seems, pounds harder. He stares at his son more, wondering what to say next. Edward runs his hand through his hair, and mutters, "Ah, screw it," before giving Carlisle an one-armed hug that radiates throughout Carlisle Cullen's body.

Unsure but willing, Carlisle Cullen raises his right arm around his son. _His son. _

They hug, and Carlisle has never felt so loved in his life.


	31. Epilogue: It's Time To Begin

EPOV

Remember that special feeling you get whenever you feel like you're on cloud nine? Like nothing can ever go hellishly wrong? I'd love to lie and act all stoic, but the truth is that I've never felt so freaking _happy _my entire life. And I've been living such a bullshitty life so far.

Sitting down on the bed, staring around at the apartment that I was about to give up, I couldn't help but remember Carlisle and Esme's pleas - _Mom _and _Dad's _pleas.

* * *

><p>"Oh, Edward . . ." Esme, er, Mom - I was still getting used to it - gasped in horror. "You've been living for a couple of weeks in <em>this?<em>" Her eyes were wide with shock as she turned around my apartment. We'd just gotten back from the courts, Bella and the rest of my family giving us a little alone time. Carlisle looked at me, his mouth set in a grim line.

"Don't tease my house, Mom. It has personality," I shrugged, then grinned at the both of them. "House? You call this a house?" Carlisle, uh, Dad (screw this shit, man) scoffed, picking up a stray piece of sock. It was Em's, so don't look at me like that.

I nodded. "Not really. A house has to have . . . love underneath the roof. And this ain't no house because, well, there really isn't much love here." What was with me that I had to be so goddamned emotional today? _Wimp! _The voice teased, in a good way for once, and I internally narrowed my eyes at it. _That's right, twerp. One more little taunt and I'm kicking you out of my head, _I warned it.

"Edward . . . I know that it seems entirely too quick, but please son, come back to _our _home. Come back to _us._" Esme - shit - Mom looked at me with her persuading eyes, and I couldn't help but hang my head. Shit, why is it that I can't handle pouty lips and doe-like eyes? Bella, Alice, Rose, Charlotte . . . every single woman I knew in my life managed to kill me with that look. Damn it, I gotta find Em and ask him to teach - no, _coach - _me on how _not _to get my ass whipped.

Her offer was seriously tempting, though. And as much as I'd love to say yes, I can't. "Es-" I took a deep breath, "Mom, I'm sorry, but I can't. At least, not yet. Who knows you guys might . . . might rethink about getting me disowned." They looked like they were about to interrupt me, but I held up one cautious finger. "No, wait, lemme get this out first. But I think that we should take things slowly; build up that kind of relationship we used to have before all of it went down the gutter. We need to . . . to find out what we want from each other. At least, that's what I think."

_Score one for Masen-er . . . Cullen!_

"Son, you don't have to do this . . . but if that's what you want, then I guess . . ." Carlisle (I think I'm better off sticking to first name basis for now) looked at Esme for help, his hands twiddling with each other. Wow. If someone told me that I had the ability to make Carlisle Cullen all nervous three months ago, I would have died laughing at their sorry faces.

Except now it was different. He really was concerned.

"Just give us a little time," I nodded. "But you need to let me help you clean this horrible, horrible mess at least," Esme murmured, moving around and picking up thrash. Bags of half-emptied chips, Jasper's boxers, Alice and Rosalie's magazines, did I fail to mention Emmett's disgusting old rubber ducky? For crying out loud, they were here only yesterday! Just one night, and look at all that stupid, freaking mess.

"That's not mine," I helped Esme out. "The rest of the family decided to wreck havoc on my place last night."

"Snitch!" A voice yelled from the doorway, and I turned to look at Emmett's accusing glare. "I trusted you!"

I laughed when Emmett grinned his crazy grin. He rushed up to Esme before kissing her cheek. "Hi, Ma," he said sheepishly, shuffling his foot on the ground. I heard snickering, and looked up to see the others leaning against my doorway. Bella was tucked safely between Rosalie and Alice, and when she noticed I'd been staring at her, she gave me a small smile.

Of course, being the wussy that I am, I _had _to return the smile. "Emmett Cullen, how dare you mess up your brother's living quarters?" Esme gave him the UMG - Universal Mom Glare. Carlisle inched closer towards her as Em muttered, "But Ma-"

"Don't you 'but, ma' me, young man!" she shouted. Ah, crap. He's in pure shit now. I decided to help my brother out a little, seeing as he _did _save my ass, and he's my brother. "Esme, it's fine. Most of the stuff are mine, anyway. He didn't even make that much of a mess; Jasper completely beat him to it."

From across the room, I heard Jazz's annoyed groan.

"Whatever the case, you should fix this up." Esme eyed the room, and suddenly she had this maniacal shine to her eyes. She rubbed her hands together gleefully before snapping at us to get the hell out. We did, and before I could shut the door, I swear to every living deity up there in the high heavens that I heard her cry, "_You're going down, bacteria! You'll feel the wrath of Esme Cullen!" _

Yep. I've got a batshit crazy adoptive mother. But I don't think I'd want anything more than that. She's awesome the way she is. Carlisle looked up at all of us, before looking down again. Al moved closer to where I stood, then she went ahead to him. "You're crazy, Dad. But I love you. Thanks for giving Edward a second chance."

Ah, shit. Now I feel like crap watching my sister thank him for me. Carlisle smiled, cupping Alice's chin before hugging her to him. "Everyone deserves second chances. I'm just stupid enough to realize this now."

"Coolest. Dad. _Ever." _Em gasped, before running over to him and picking both of them up.

That was when I decided to just screw everything to heck and move back in with the Cullens. They're my family, even considering what happened. And I know that it's only a matter of time before I'd come to this decision.

My name is Edward Anthony Masen _Cullen. _And today, I've finally found my closure.

* * *

><p><em>"<em>Edward, you done?" Jazz yelled from the doorway. I picked up all the boxes and stood up, stretching a little. A quiet voice beside me asked, "Sad?"

I turned to smile down at the little thing that was my girlfriend. Bella grinned up at me, her brown orbs glinting through the light from the lone window. She was wearing my green hoodie, making me proud as hell. "Are you kidding me? Hell no." I kissed her on those luscious lips of hers, feeling the hint of the chocolate coated strawberries she'd just had. Don't blame her; Rosalie got hooked onto those, and never stopped forcing that little addictive stuff down our throats.

Thank god for Emmett and his work-outs. I'm lucky I haven't gained twenty pounds over the last few weeks.

After making the decision on moving back with the Cullens, I sort of held a trial period. I'd sleep over there for a couple of days, trying to bond with the rest of the family, then I'd come back here. It sucked, because I ended up wanting to spend more time with them rather than being holed up in this lonely, dark place that was filled with nothing but depressing thoughts.

'Sides, like that Streisand chick's song, I ain't gonna let anyone rain on my parade. Corny, probably, but blame Alice. She was watching _Funny __Girl _on DVD and went crazy over it. Even Jasper got a little exasperated. But then again, who wouldn't when you've got your little pixie of a sister playing the movie on and on and on when all you want is some awesome, nasty, gory stuff to get your girlfriend to cringe and crawl into your lap?

What? Don't give me that look. I'm still an eighteen year old boy.

"Mmm, you really need to back off or Jasper will come after you for wasting his gas." Bella giggled, her hands under my shirt. I pressed my lips harder against hers, more insistent this time. "Who cares about Jasper?" I teased, chuckling when Bella shoved me off her. "That's not nice, Edward." she chastised, glaring at me.

I gave her my innocent look. "Sorry, baby," I grinned sheepishly.

"Edward, Bella, I swear to god if you guys don't stop making out _right now, _I'm getting Emmett in!" Jazz's voice screamed in through the doorway, and immediately we pulled away from each other. I picked off another box from Bella's arms and held it up against the rest of my stuff. Hustling down the stairs with Bella in front of me, to make sure she doesn't trip and fall or anything, we made our way over to Jasper's car, where he looked as pissed as possible.

"It's bad enough Em and Rose took Ally away from me already. Now I have to be stuck with you two love-birds." he groaned, and Bella giggled before patting his hand sweetly. "Just think of Alice in that pretty bridesmaid dress she showed you, Jasper. Her planning Em and Rose's wedding is going to be so worth it."

He sighed, "I guess so." Turning to me with his mouth pursed and his gray eyes eyeing me in concern, Jasper asked, "How're you holding up, man? Feeling okay to move back in with them?"

"Yeah, man. Not a doubt."

"Good. Alice will blow her load off seeing you back inside the house. _Permanently._" We both grinned at each other, and I got into the backseat with Bella. We spent the good thirty minutes ride back to Forks talking about school and summer, and how Emmett was gonna flip over me accidentally eating his sandwich. It earned us a good laugh from Bella, and anything is worth, well, _anything _as long as Bella laughed.

She's got me good alright. But I'm not complaining.

"Edward!" Mom (after trying this out a couple times, I finally manage to conjure the guts to actually call Esme this) cried, attacking me with a fierce, Mom-like hug. I laughed and stroked her hair before she pulled away. "Oh goodness, look at you! Two days of not seeing you, and already you're growing thinner! Come, I made some apple pie." she smiled brightly.

And, despite how much I knew the pie was going to suck, I smiled back and nodded enthusiastically. "Thanks! I'm bushed." I murmured, looking around for Carlisle. "So where's Dad?" I asked later when she was hauling my ass up to the kitchen, Bella and Jasper in tow. He was helping me with my boxes, taking the load from Bella, while I carried all the rest.

"He's at work. He'll come by soon enough, don't worry. A new patient arrived today from Minnesota. Poor girl had her spine twisted from a horrible accident." She looked down forlornly, her eyes worried. Ah, Mom. Always worrying even if she didn't have to.

"Yeah . . . her family must be sick with worry, too." I nodded, eyeing the weird looking pie lying on top of the counter. It looked . . . lumpy. And it had burn marks all over the place. Mom looked unfazed though. She seemed proud of her work. So I manned up, grabbed a plate for Jasper and Bella and some forks. Bella bit her lip, eyebrows scrunched together whilst looking at the pie, while Jasper's face didn't even have to be described to know what he was thinking.

Five spoonfuls of burnt pie later, Esme allowed us to go on up and get me settled back into my old room.

Looking back, I realized how much of this room I'd missed. I mean, c'mon. Sure there was that couch, that TV, the huge collection of DVDs and CDs I owned. But nothing beat actually seeing _my _room. Up until this moment, I'd taken everything I had for granted. And then I lost them, but seeing them return to me was like a huge sigh of relief.

"Dude, you're seriously gonna cry?" Jasper asked, smacking my back. I turned to glare at him before reaching for Bella. "Shut up. You don't know how much I actually missed this."

He nodded in understanding before picking up his suddenly ringing cellphone. He smiled at the screen, then looked up. "Well, that's Alice. I'm gonna leave you two alone for now. So suck up the free time because Emmett and Alice will probably invade your space later !" He gave that weird alien peace sign, then turned to leave me alone with my girlfriend.

Bella reached up to kiss my cheek. "I'm glad you're home."

I looked down to meet her lips, grinning, "I'm glad too."

* * *

><p><strong>Epilogue: One Year Later<strong>

EPOV

I shook my shaking hands, wiping them on the hideous yellow robe I was donning. Don't even ask why I had to wear this little piece of shit. For all I know, Principal Greene wanted the color red, but because La Push High in the reservation was supposed to use that same color, he didn't want our school to be a copy cat and decided on yellow instead.

If you ask me, I think that's bullcrap. He just wanted to humiliate us on this crazily important day, is all. That conniving asshole.

The graduating class of Forks were all seated to the right, while parents and relatives sat on the left. The huge array of yellow robed people was just freaking me out. I didn't want to do this. Hell no. I looked through the crowd for a familiar face, but with the similar dress codes, I couldn't tell who was who.

And then I saw _her. _

She was laughing away with our family, her brown eyes rolling back as she joked about with Emmett. Alice was clinging on to her arm like how a little sister would, and she in turn was clinging onto Rosalie. They were all laughing on some joke Emmett had spewed. Even Jasper, Mr-Star-Wars-Lover, looked ready to pee in his pants.

Principal Greene came on stage, and suddenly, everyone kept quiet. I groaned quietly to myself and buried my head in my hands, removing my sight of her. When I felt someone staring at me, I looked up to meet her brown orbs, beaming with pride and joy . . . god, just when you think Bella already reached her limit when it came to beauty, she just had to look more goddamned gorgeous.

And the best part was that she was mine.

"-so before we commence the ceremony, our valedictorian has a few words to say." Principal Greene got off the stage, and I gulped in a deep breath, peeking through the curtains I was hiding in. Finally, after a couple of seconds, I gathered up the guts and headed up to the podium. There was lots of applause and catcalls, some sluts screaming they wanted my babies, and Emmett's, "Go, Edward!" ringing high and mighty in the air. I chuckled nervously and tapped the mike once, then I took a deep breath and focused solely on Bella's brown eyes, finding my strength.

"Hey guys," I began unceremoniously, "so, uh, in case you're wondering why I don't have papers in my hands, or why I sound so awkward and weird, the truth is . . . I really wanted my speech to come from the heart. I didn't want to come off as someone who'd written down these kind of stuff in some sort of pretense. In my opinion, I think that's just bullcrap. Excuse me, Principal Greene, for my vulgarity." I grinned at the crowd below me and they laughed.

Before I could lose the guts, I grabbed the mike off it's stand and headed towards them. "So here's the thing; graduation. I don't know about you guys, but I don't think I've ever hated waiting for a day so much like I do now. It's like that ban-aid you want to take out so bad but can't because your wound's going to be open for an infection to break through. I'll be the first to admit that I'm scared. I'm scared - and no, I'm no coward - but I'm scared that when we leave this place, this school we've been confined to for over four years, we won't leave it without making a difference.

"And for me, difference and change is what we should be really afraid of. Not of breaking your heart," I chuckled, staring at Amber, who gave me a small smile, "not of making the wrong mistakes; especially not that. We're all supposed to make mistakes. I've learned how to be a better person by making big and little mistakes. There's no going back on it. Sure, we grieve, but we're only human. We wouldn't be what we are if we don't feel even the simplest pity for ouselves.

"Lots of people told me they're really looking forward to graduating - that they can't wait to get out of this hellhole. I'm saying this now to everyone and anyone I've ever hurt or bullied in the past that I'm seriously sorry for it. I've been such a jerk for the biggest part of my life, and for awhile, I was afraid of becoming that person for the rest of my existence. But thanks to the support of many of you, I'm standing here today, smiling and making this crazy speech of being a valedictorian."

I paused, letting myself catch a breath. Bella's brown orbs were shining with so much pride and love. I waved at my family, at Mom and Dad, before I continued, "So, really, graduation sure is one heck of an emotional roller coaster for some of us. We keep thinking that we're gonna lose our friends, and maybe we will, but that's just life. We're gonna look back on this day thirty years from now, and we're gonna tell our kids that, hey, I did this or that when I was your age. We're gonna be seated at the exact place our parents are seating in right now, and we're gonna be smiling so hugely it might possibly break our faces.

"Because we're going to know that our kid's going to be fine; they've made it. And when we're parents, I think that's all that matters. I've never really known what it was to have a proper family; I was abused as a kid by my biological dad," I looked down, fidgeting with my robe, before looking up with renewed strength. "And because of that, I became some asshole. My family, right now, sitting before me, taught me everything I needed. For some of you, the 'rents don't even mean a thing, but they do. They brought you to this world, they gave you a home and, well, they gave you love.

"So before we leave this auditorium, can I make just one request?"

Everyone looked shocked, so to speak. Then they became a blabbering mess of assent. I grinned, "Can we all just stand up and thank our parents, teachers, our friends . . . our girlfriends," I looked at Bella, ignoring the catcalls, "our, uh, boyfriends . . . and most of all, can we look at those we haven't spoken to in all four years we've been here and say, 'good job?'"

"Hells to the yeah!" Emmett crowed, the whole batch screaming with cheer. I knew it wasn't even a half-assed attempt at saying an inspiring speech, but that was all I could do without feeling the need to smack myself on the head for sounding too preppy.

I placed the mike back on the stand and rushed over to Bella. I stared down at her, before leaning in close to whisper, "I love you." Her eyes glimmered before she throwed her arms around my neck, pulling me close to her. "I love you too, Edward. Go tell that to our family as well." I laughed and kissed her once more before congratulating a bunch of other people. I stayed true to my promise and thanked everyone I knew, saving my family for last.

All around me, there was chaos when we threw our hats into the air. I maneuvered around a couple of people before reaching my mom and dad. They smiled at me, my mother pulling at my arm and kissing my face, smothering me. I didn't mind though. Maybe I'm just turning into a psychotic mess of emotions, but it felt nice being treated like a little kid. "Esme, Esme, stop. You're spoiling the poor boy." Carlisle said gruffly.

"Nah, it's all okay," I smiled when he pulled me in for his normal, one-armed hug. "Well done, son. I'm so proud of you." He stared at me, his eyes glinting in the dim light of the auditorium. I felt myself do an inner fist punch, celebrating. "Thanks, Dad. I meant it about you and Mom. Thanks for stayng with me through the goddamned thick and thin."

"We're your parents, Edward. We're _always _going to be there for you," Mom said thickly. I grinned sheepishly and kissed her cheek, unable to help myself.

Em boomed from behind me. "Mama and Papa Cullen! We're going to steal Edward for awhile, okay? Nah, you don't even have to answer that. _We're graduated, assholes!_" Mom glared teasingly at him while Dad just patted his back, "Well done, son. You and Jasper - one of my best boys." Jazz materialized beside me, and it would've bugged me long ago, but now I just got used to it. He's a ninja like that.

"Thanks, Dad," he pretended to tip his hat. Alice, Rosalie and Bella took turns hugging Dad while Charlie did the same thing with us. "Now, this ain't no graduation without . . . _this!" _Emmett shouted, and threw me over his shoulder. "Dude, what the hell?!" I screamed like a pathetic little girl. I didn't care; when you brother suddenly carries you up his shoulder like some moron, you lose whatever manly pride you have. That shit ain't the slightest bit kosher.

Bella tried to help me - yes, she's that much of a sweetheart - and tugged and pulled at Emmett's biceps as hard as she could. But that was comparing a tiny ant next to a hippo. She'll never win the battle alone. So my unhelpful, completely retarded siblings stood as standbys and even helped throwing me in the air, screaming, _"For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow!" _

Yep. Graduation was such an embarrassing pain in the ass.

But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Two days later, I was running my hands through my hair again, tugging at the uncomfortable tie I was wearing. Today was the day that Emmett would be tied down to Rosalie. Today was the day he'll lose his stud name, whatever freedom he has left will now be exterminated (Rose, sweetie, if you're reading this, please don't take any offence. And also, please spare my body from any grievous harm you might want to extricate as revenge on me.)

And of course, Mom and Dad being Mom and Dad . . . well, let's just say they're on the warpath, trying to make sure everything was perfect for their children's wedding. Once she got around the whole idea itself, after berating Rose and Em of course, she took on the role of helping Alice plan the wedding. Rose was Rose, and she wanted it to be crazily extravagant, which was just baffling for me because who in their right mind would invite the whole of Forks?

But anyway, I'm not going to complain.

I just know that life's good, everything I've ever wanted - wished, hoped, prayed, whatever you really wanna add in here - is placed right in my arms. I have a beautiful, loving girlfriend, an actual family . . . and friends. I've found my closure through time, music, and love. With the help of my family and Bella, I managed to gain the courage to accept the Julliard scholarship, though Bella declined, applying for Brown University instead. A couple of weeks later, she received her acceptance letter.

And even though I'm only eighteen - now going nineteen - I just know that someday, at the right time and place - I'll be standing in Emmett's place right now, waiting for the love of his life to walk through the doors with the biggest smile on her face, knowing that she'd be tied down to the one man she's ever loved her entire life.

I watched as Bella trailed in before my sister, her eyes gleaming with tears of joy for her friend . . . her sister, and her brother. When she met my gaze, she grinned a face-splitting smile that I could feel radiate off my own mask of indifference. I lost it then, and everything that I was looking for in my life was answered.

In her eyes, I saw my true _home. _

BPOV

I've always wondered what it was like living a dream. Not that I have any doubts about Edward or my family - of course not. I'm sure of that, at least. But watching Rosalie and Emmett, my sister and my brother even past the blood, I felt an odd sense of pride and . . . sheer happiness. I hope my glow wouldn't outshine the bride's moment.

When I caught Edward looking at me, it felt like there was nothing more I could possibly want. With him by my side, I knew what I wanted for myself in the future - a stable job of being an editor. I was never going to be able to be a writer, and maybe being an editor might be difficult, but there's no going back for me. I was going to Brown University, with Em, Rose, Jazz, Al and of course, Edward. We were going to share a whole penthouse - I know; blame Charlie, Renee, Carlisle and Esme - and I was excited by the concept of it all.

Alice was so clever - she probably predicted that I'd be crying for the whole ceremony - and let me wear little make-up that was water-proof. As pansy as it sounded, I couldn't help but cry at the ultimate moment when Em leaned down to kiss Rose so tenderly, so lovingly, that I just broke and saw images of me and Edward, in that same place, his lips touching mine as we're pronounced man and wife.

Oh god, I really needed to get a hold of myself.

When the ceremony was over and we were heading towards a hotel for the reception, Alice, Jasper, Edward and I packed inside this huge car, one of which Rosalie had helped in restoring. She and Emmett would be in another, more sophisticated vehicle that had shoes carefully tied at its bumper. "Well, Bellsy," Jazz looked at me curiously - he had adopted the fond nickname Emmett had for me - before smirking, "when will you and Edward's trip down the aisle be?"

I blushed, then reached over to smack his arm. "Shut up, Jasper. How about you? No plans for a big wedding day for Al?" I heard a gasp and turned to see Alice wickedly excited, those brown eyes of hers lighting up with crazy plans already. I laughed before settling back into Edward's arms contentedly. He was a bit stiff, and I wondered why so. Maybe he was still affected by Rose and Em's wedding?

Looking back at his expression, his green eyes looking ahead and seeing nothing, I frowned. Sure, Edward and I weren't always the perfect couple - we still had our fights, we still disagreed on certain stuff, but we always managed to go through with it in the end. He hated upsetting me; I hated upsetting him. In our relationship, it was all about give and take, honesty, and patience. We both made it clear that we weren't always going to be little skipping fairies, but nonetheless, we were happy.

So when Edward's fists clenched, I could not see why he was being so angry on the day his sister and brother tied the knot.

"What's wrong, babe?" I asked him, curious. Edward snapped out of his reverie and turned to look down at me. He smiled woefully at first before kissing my temple. "Nothing, baby. Just thinking 'bout something." I decided to let it go; it was a nice day not to be ruined by some heavy, emotional talk. Besides, Alice would murder me if Edward and I had a fight on Rosalie's wedding day. She did not work her butt off for this for nothing.

Rosalie and Emmett were just so breathtaking. After all the salutations were done, and after all the mandatory details - such as the removal of garter, the shoving of cake - had been gone through, Em pulled Rose towards the dance floor for the first dance. I watched as they danced, looking so blissfully happy with each other that I found myself tearing up again. They looked so much older than they were supposed to be, no more than eighteen, but yet they made it seem like they've already been married for years.

I was just so happy that they were happy.

"D'you wanna dance?" Edward asked me later, inclining his head towards the dance floor when we saw that practically every couple was dancing, including Alice and Jasper. I smiled up at him, nodding my head. We danced, Edward and I, moving from side to side. He knew I hated dancing really intricately, so instead he kept it simple, moving in a square formation.

Jasper, my dad and Emmett took turns dancing with me. "Naw, Bellsy, don't cry!" Emmett laughed, his huge hands covering my face and wiping off my happy tears. "You know it kills me when you cry. If you cry, then I'll probably make an ass out of myself by crying too. And then Edward and Jasper will go after me, thinking _I'm _the one who made you cry. Stop it, Bellsy, or I'll have to bring in the big guns," he nodded towards Edward, who was eyeing him in wonder and confusion.

I laughed and punched his arm. "Nah, you don't have to. I'm just happy."

"Well, you're ruining the moment. This could be my last time to make you laugh before Edward-" Em's blue eyes widened, his mouth opening to an 'O,' but before I could ask him what it was, Carlisle snuck up on the both of us. He asked if he could have this dance with me, and because I was such a sucker, I said yes.

Carlisle Cullen wasn't all that insufferable. He's a good man, really, he was, but sometimes he just didn't know how to show it. In the year that had passed, he spent majority of his time reconnecting with his children, including me, which was a surprise. He was actually really good at understanding us teens - he seemed more level-headed as long as you don't annoy him too much. Emmett likes to test his control, though. Lucky for him, Edward served as a referee between them two when they decided to duke it out. Jazz, as always, was the resident slacker - he just sat back and watched the show.

Yeah, I love my family. A lot.

"You seem very emotional today, sweetheart," Carlisle laughed as he spun me around. I smiled back, "It's a bit hard to get used to seeing Emmett as a married man. Plus, the both of them look so happy together."

The man I once thought to be ruthless smiled gently as he gazed at his two children. "They are," he turned to me, "and what about you? No future plans for you and Edward yet?" I blushed furiously, much to his amusement, and Edward saved me from an embarrassing talk with his dad. He mock glared at Carlisle as he held me tighter to his side.

"Dad, c'mon, I leave her with you for two minutes and already she's embarrassed beyond belief." He laughed, and I gasped before stabbing him at his arm. "Shut up, Cullen," I growled, "don't ruin this for me, dammit!" Then I smiled widely for good measure, and both of the Cullen men laughed. Edward whisked me away, taking me outside of the hotel and into it's built-in garden. The moon was almost full tonight - it shined down on both of us. I grinned as Edward twirled me underneath the stars, ignoring all the weird looks he was getting from the tourists.

I leaned my head against his chest and sighed contentedly.

Edward wrapped his arms around me, his warm body pressing against mine. He whispered, "Hey, Bella?"

"Hmm?" I hummed, burying my nose deep into his chest and bringing my hands up onto it, feeling how hard and muscular his body was. Yep. I could never get used to how strong and definitely handsome my boyfriend was. "Can I ask you something?"

I held my head away from him, watching as his green eyes danced with amusement. "Sure . . .?" I trailed off, unsure about what he wanted from me. Edward took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and then peeked one open. He smiled shyly, "I just . . . I guess I just want to thank you, Bella, because helped open my eyes to realize who and what I really am. Everything that I've done, _everything_, I owe it to you. Bella, you are . . . the most important person to me, ever. And it's because of your love that I've grown so much as a person. Bella . . . I love you. I really do."

Edward took another deep breath, and my heart pounded from his words. I was about to reply when he suddenly knelt down on the grass - tuxedo and all - and my heart just _stopped_. My mouth fell open, and my hand flew immediately up to my chest. Eyes growing wide with franticness, I stood there, completely frozen into place.

But all Edward did was to pull out a tiny, dark blue box. His emeralds were serious and smoldering into me. I couldn't even _breathe _right. My head was spinning in circles, and I felt light-headed. _Breathe, Bella. C'mon. Don't faint now. Not when Edward's on the verge of proposing. Gah! _Proposing!

"Isabella Marie Swan, I promise to have and to hold you, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poor . . . I _vow _to love you till death do us part, and even then, I'll love you in heaven itself. Bella, baby . . . will you marry me?" And then Edward pulled out the most _gorgeous _ring I've ever seen - so simple and perfect, so pure and pristine that everything I felt gripping me onto reality slipped away. I reached for it, touching the smooth circle of the stone embedded onto the surface of the most beautiful ring I've ever seen.

"Yes," I replied simply, with no hesitation, looking into those shimmering emeralds of his. And just like that, Edward picked me up, twirling me around and around, laughing. I felt hot tears of fresh joy - this time for my own being - running down my face as I wrapped my arms tightly around Edward's neck. So this was why Emmett had nearly shit bricks earlier - he knew that Edward was going to propose to me.

"Christ, you don't know how happy I am right now! I thought you were gonna say no!" Edward exulted when he set me down. I raised an eyebrow, my mouth still set in a maniacal grin of utter happiness. "Why?"

He looked at me like _I _was the crazy one. "Bella; we're still too young. I figured that if you were going to say no, at least I could use that as an excuse to help prepare my ego for incoming denial. And besides . . . I wanted to propose to you not because I wanted to get married directly on the next day, or the next month, but because . . . well, I wanted to the ring to represent my promises to you that someday, though just not right now, we'll both be seeing each other at the altar."

I grinned; Edward knew me so well that he knew I wouldn't be thinking of marriage when I'd see the ring. Though it was definitely on my list for my future, I still wanted to live my life while I was still young. I wanted to live and be my age, to enjoy college with the rest of my family. Edward smiled, immediately reading whatever thought I had spelling out on my face.

Sliding the ring onto my left finger, I held it up and asked, "This must've been a hell lot to pay."

Edward shuffled a bit before holding my hand against his cheek. "It didn't cost a dime; this was my mom's engagement ring." I gasped and looked down once more onto the ring that used to belong to Elizabeth Masen. "Oh Edward, it's so perfect," I murmured, the tears choking up my throat once more. Edward used his finger to bring my chin up to him. "Hey, c'mon, no more tears. Or I'll think you don't want to marry me," he grinned.

I laughed, his distraction working. "Okay, okay. But really, Edward, this ring is beautiful. Thank you," I kissed him once on his lips, "and I love you. Forever."

"Forever." He agreed and leaned down to capture my lips once again.

_-The End-_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Author's Note:<em> _I have so many people to thank for the making of this story. First and foremost - it's my readers. Thanks for all your support, your awesome PMs, your wonderful, wonderful insights into my story. Critiques, reviews and all of the other schnitz that you guys do for my CYKAS. Thank you. Really. This story is here all because of you. Oh crap. Now I really am crying. Writing CYKAS has been such a joy - my first story venturing into the AH world of Twilight. So thank you, really, I can't thank you guys enough. Also, huge, HUGE shout-outs to dvickd, AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234, MeFromMars, and finally, Emoprincess98 for being such wonderful reviewers and readers. Especially to AliceRosalieBellaCullen1234 and Emoprincess98 - you guys were the ones who first reviewed CYKAS and helped contributed to garnering the interest of more readers from your reviews. Thanks, guys. I wish I could give all of you Alice's Turbo. _**

**_Second, this chapter is dedicated to my friend who died. RIP, sweetheart. Even though you can't read this, I love you. _**

**_Lastly, what do you say about leaving one last review of ol' Serenity here? =) I give you all my love and thanks! Oh, and Twilight didn't belong to me. Never have, never will. _**

**_For the very last time for this story . . . _**

**_~Serene. _**


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